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Shrek 2 (2004) Shrek 2 is a beloved animated comedy film from 2004 that continues the adventures of the iconic green ogre.

Shrek 2 (2004)

Shrek 2 is a beloved animated comedy film from 2004 that continues the adventures of the iconic green ogre. Directed by Andrew Adamson, Kelly Asbury, and Conrad Vernon, the film features the voices of Mike Myers as Shrek, Eddie Murphy as Donkey, and Cameron Diaz as Princess Fiona. The hilarious plot follows Shrek and his companions as they embark on a journey to meet Fiona's disapproving parents. With its clever humor and heartwarming story, Shrek 2 has remained a favorite for both children and adults. You can relive the magic by playing and downloading sounds from this film here.

A drop of desire.
A little father son time?
A pinch of passion.
A sporty carriage to ride in style, Sexy man boy chauffeur, Kyle.
A tear drop away.
About an ogre problem?
Abundant in squirrels and cute little duckies and...
Accidentally in love.
Accidentally in love.
Accidentally in love.
Accidentally in love.
Accidentally in love.
Accidentally in love.
Accidentally.
Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon?
Actually, Fairy Godmother, off to bed.
After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert...
After these messages.
After you, Mongo.
Ah ha ha!
Ah, yes. Very good, then. Carry on, Cedric.
Ah! Ah! Aaahh!
Ah! Excellent! That's my girl.
Ah! There you are. Right.
Ah. I thought I might find you here.
Ah. P, P, P. Princess. Cinderella.
Ah... that's okay.
Ahh!
Ain't no stoppin' us now! Wooh! We're on the move!
Aka Mom and Dad.
All by myself anymore...
All by myself.
All by myself.
All right, all right, I get it. I'm just so darn bored.
All right, big fella! Let's crash this party!
Allow me to take the first sip.
Already our minds are becoming one.
Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy.
Amigo, we are off to the Kit Kat Club.
And bring me back to my family,
And don't worry. They'll love you, too.
And Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
And go dancing in the rain.
And guess what, Princess? That's not about to change.
And he's gotta be fresh From the fight.
And her skin's the colour of mocha.
And her skin's the colour of mocha.
And I'm going to set things right.
And if you think that I'll be smearing Vapo Rub over your chest, think again!
And it was destiny that his kiss
And just a hint of...
And let's face it. You are a lot easier on the eyes.
And most handsome...
And my blessing?
And my time was running wild, a million dead end streets.
And now she can be.
And oh, what the hey! Have a bichon frisé!
And right behind them, Tom Thumb and Thumbelina!
And somebody bring me something deep fried and smothered in chocolate!
And take it from me, Boss.
And that's final!
And that's why I have to let her go.
And there's some question as to why that is?
And they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment
And throughout the land, everyone was happy...
And we'll all live happily ever after.
And what does he find?
And where are all the gods?
And, oh my, the outfits look gorgeous!
Angry ogre you always been.
Are you all right?
Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed?
Are you going so soon? Don't you want to see your wife?
Are you kidding? He's gorgeous!
Are you kidding? He's gorgeous!
Are you up for a little quest, Donkey?
As you have spared me mine.
At which time the King
Aw, man, where do I begin?
Aw, man, where do I begin?
Away!
Aye, day care or dragon guarded castle.
Aye.
Banish your blemishes, tooth decay, Cellulite thighs will fade away.
Be good.
Be sure and use small words, dear. He's a little slow this morning.
Because we're gonna need flour.
Bet my bottom?
Bet your bottom...
Better out than in, I always say, eh, Fiona?
Black cats and voodoo dolls.
Bon appetit!
Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's coming around!
Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion...
Boss! The Happily Ever After Potion!
But Fiona and I are married now.
But for this, I charge a great deal of money.
But for your Kingdom.
But I can see now...
But I can't trace time
But I don't know nothing about love.
But I love Fiona more.
But I love Fiona more.
But I really don't need all this.
But if you come by the office, we'll be glad to make you an appointment.
But it's the old one I fell in love with, Dad.
But look at me. Look what I've done for her.
But not the way I feel about you.
But people change for the ones they love.
But remember, dear. If you should ever need me...
But she was supposed to choose the prince we picked for her.
But she'll take away your pain.
But there's no escaping your love.
But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me.
But, well, what do you think?
But...
Buy 'em drinks!
C Minor, put it in C Minor.
Can I get a whoop whoop?
Can we get on with this?
Can't stop thinking about it.
Catch!
Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes Turn and face the strange.
Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes.
Ch Ch Changes.
Change?
Cheese soufflé, Valentine's Day Have some chicken fricassee!
Come here, little kitty, kitty.
Come on in, Your Majesty.
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
Come on, guys.
Come on, join us.
Come on, little kitty. Come here. Oh! Come here, little kitty.
Come on!
Come on!
Come on! We don't want to hit traffic!
Come on. Is he really that good looking?
Confide in your very own furniture friends.
Could you not be yourself...
Dad says I'm going away for a while.
Dad!
Dad?
Dad. I was so hoping you'd approve.
Dance!
Darling, I'm just thinking about what's best for you.
Darling?
Darling. That's mine. Decaf.
Dear Diary...
Dearest Princess Fiona.
Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother
Did someone let the cat out of the bag?
Do I know you?
Do you suppose we could pretend it never happened and start over...
Don't be drab, you'll be fab Your prince will have rock hard abs.
Don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you.
Don't get huffy! I'm only trying to help.
Don't go projecting on me.
Don't mind if I do, Lillian.
Don't wanna be a richer one.
Don't wanna be a richer one.
Don't wanna be.
Don't worry! We'll take care of everything.
Don't worry. Things seem bad because it's dark and rainy
Don't you point... those dirty green sausages at me!
Don't you remember when we were young?
Don't you think you've already messed her life up enough?
Don't you want to tell me about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi?
Donkey, keep watch.
Donkey, what are you doing here?
Donkey!
Donkey!
Donkey!
Donkey?
Drop that jug o' voodoo and let's get out of here.
En garde!
Enough, Reggie.
Especially us talking ones.
Even if I did want it.
Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with
Ever fallen in love with someone, ever fallen in love.
Ever fallen in love with someone, ever fallen in love.
Every time I thought I'd got it made.
Everybody dig in.
Everybody wins.
Everybody's after love.
Everyone says I'm getting down too low.
Everyone says you've just gotta let it go.
Everyone says you've just gotta let it go.
Everyone who's anyone has turned out
Everything is accounted for, Fairy Godmother, except for one potion.
Excellent idea! I was actually hoping you might join me for a morning hunt.
Except for you.
Excuse me, is she here?
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Face it, Donkey! We're lost.
Fairy Godmother. Charming.
Fallen in love with.
Father? Is everything all right, Father?
Finally! A good use for your mouth.
Find Princess Fiona!
Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong!
Fiona does. And she'll never forgive you if you don't.
Fiona, my dearest, if there's one thing I know,
Fiona, my Princess.
Fiona, please!
Fiona!
Fiona!
Fiona! Fiona!
Fiona! Fiona!
Fiona?
Fiona? Fiona?
Fiona. Is this what you want?
Fiona's father paid you to do this?
Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man! We've got a big order to fill!
First there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans.
First things first.
Folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick.
For a happy ever after, give Fiona a call!
For a royal ball in celebration of your marriage
For every day and night.
For five minutes...
For her to live life happily...
For you and your true love.
Gee, thanks.
Get in line.
Get in line.
Get your fine Corinthian footwear and your cat cheeks out of my face!
Gingy!
Gingy! Pinocchio! Get us out of here!
Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine.
Go, baby, go!
Go, Mongo! Go!
Go! Go! Your lady needs you! Go!
Good morning, sleepyhead.
Good morning!
Got to be... I think you grabbed the Farty Ever After potion.
Gotta make a move to a town that's right for me.
Ha ha! All right!
Ha ha! Fear me, if you dare!
Ha!
Halt!
Halt!
Hansel and Gretel? No! Thumbelina? No.
Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength.
Happiness, comfort and beauty divine.
Happiness.
Happiness...
Happy, happy, happy...
Harold, we have to be...
Harold! You were supposed to give her the potion!
Harold.
Have a happy ever after.
Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses,
He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower
He can never get to the back. You need someone to do the back.
He croaked.
He don't like to be disturbed.
He don't like to be disturbed.
He makes me laugh.
He went inside looking for you.
He will rue the very day he stole my kingdom from me!
He'll be fine. Now, where were we?
He's completely lost his mind!
He's gotta be strong And he's gotta be fast.
He's hopeless. He's all high in the front.
Head to the darkest part of the woods...
Hello, Far, Far Away!
Hello, Harold.
Hello?
Her lips are devil red.
Here at tonight's Far, Far Away Royal Ball blowout!
Here comes Sleeping Beauty!
Here we are. Lived happily ever after. Oh...
Here we go!
Here's a news flash for you!
Hey, baby!
Hey, buddy, let me clue you in.
Hey, everyone, look.
Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh? You working that hat.
Hey, man, this don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over.
Hey, mice, pass me a buffalo wing!
Hey, Shrek. Donkeys don't purr. What do you think I am, some kind of a...
Hey, wait for me. Oof!
Hey! How about Happily Ever After?
Hey. Why the long face?
Hey. You still look like a noble steed to me.
Hi ya!
Hi. I'm here to see the...
Hi. Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy! May I take your order?
Him? You know, you didn't exactly roll out the Welcome Wagon.
Hit it!
Hit it! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Head 'em up, move 'em on! Head 'em up!
Hold the phone...
Honestly, Lillian, I don't think it matters.
How about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball?
How do we know there will even be a ball?
How do you feel?
How much longer will it take to cure this?
Hyah!
I am wearing ladies' underwear.
I can count.
I can hardly believe that, Lillian. He's the ogre. Not me.
I can whinny.
I can't believe you'd walk away from the best thing that happened to you.
I can't. I won't do it.
I climbed to the highest room in the tallest tower...
I could swear there is someone Somewhere watching me.
I do believe we can make this work to our advantage.
I don't care whose fault it is. Just get this place cleaned up!
I don't feel any different. I look any different?
I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona.
I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately.
I don't think I was going to get Daddy's blessing,
I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a monster!
I got to go to the bathroom.
I guess not.
I had the hardest time finding this place.
I hate Mondays.
I hate these ball shows.
I have to talk to Princess Fiona!
I haven't. You should ask your father.
I implore you! It was nothing personal, Señor.
I just really need to make things work with this guy.
I just wanted her to be happy.
I just wish I could be the man you deserve.
I just wish I could be the man you deserve.
I just... I just wish I could make her happy.
I knew this would happen.
I know it was kind of a tender moment back there, but the purring?
I know it would mean the world to Fiona.
I know what every princess needs.
I know you never get a second chance at a first impression,
I know you're feeling bad, but you got to...
I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going.
I know! I know.
I like my town.
I love her.
I mean, after all, it is in his nature to be...
I mean, how charming can I be
I mean, look at him.
I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this... thing?
I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad.
I need a hero.
I need some sleep.
I need to do Charming's hair before the ball.
I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place.
I only wanted what was best for Fiona.
I run the risk of losing you and that's worse.
I see London! I see France!
I should've stayed. But Shrek had this thing he had to do.
I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be...
I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children.
I think I remember.
I think it'd be better if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here.
I think that's well understood.
I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally.
I thought I'd move in with you.
I told you coming here was a bad idea.
I want what any princess wants.
I was doing it only for my family.
I was hoping you'd let me apologize for my despicable behaviour earlier.
I was, but I can't let them do this to Fiona.
I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you.
I will smite him where he stands!
I would think you'd be happy for me.
I'd give anything to have him back.
I'd hoped you'd never see me like this.
I'd like to know how it could get any worse!
I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.
I'd like you to meet my husband...
I'll be true... enough.
I'll just stretch it out here for a while.
I'll kill that cat!
I'll laugh, too. I'll be giggling to myself.
I'll watch that wicked witch come and whammy a world of hurt up your backside.
I'm a donkey!
I'm a real boy!
I'm blind! Tell the truth.
I'm coming, Elizabeth!
I'm going to go out and find him.
I'm her husband, Shrek! Ow!
I'm in love, I'm in love.
I'm in love.
I'm in love.
I'm in too deep.
I'm Jill. What's your name?
I'm not flipping anywhere, sir, until I see Shrek and Fiona.
I'm sorry, too.
I'm sure a nice BM is the perfect solution for marital problems.
I'm sure he just went off to look for a nice...
I'm trotting, I'm trotting in place! Yeah!
I'm your fairy godmother.
I've been thinking about what you said.
If it's love, love.
If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine.
If there'll be any animal testing, I'll do it.
If you feel a little lighter.
If you really love her...
If you want to be a part of this family, yes!
In all the land.
In his wee little boots.
In love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with.
In love with someone, ever fallen in love.
In some cultures, donkeys are revered as the wisest of creatures.
Incoming!
Indeed not.
Is already married.
Is just a teardrop away.
Is that glitter on your lips?
Is that you? My gosh! It's been years.
Is there anything I can do for you?
It looks like you most certainly am are!
It says Beauty Divine.
It says, Beauty Divine. How bad can it be?
It was all just a stupid mistake.
It was he who would chance the perilous journey
It wasn't my fault. He didn't get there in time.
It would be an honour to lay my life on the line for you.
It'll be better in the morning. You'll see...
It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it?
It's alive!
It's easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks from.
It's in an enchanted forest
It's just the rain, Donkey.
It's not the same!
It's so good to be home!
It's that love is full of surprises.
It's the Fairy Godmother!
It's time to teach these madcap mammals
It's time you stop living in a fairy tale, Shrek.
Jerome! Coffee and a Monte Cristo. Now!
Jump a little higher.
Just leave the bottle, Doris.
Just tell me where I can find this ogre.
Just the old hunting wound playing up a bit!
Just to cure it, 'cause I can't ignore it.
Just with each other.
Just you and me and...
Just... go.
Keep watch? Yeah, I'll keep watch.
Knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead! Make 'em tea!
La, di, da, di, da! Isn't it all wonderful!
Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Late at night I toss and I turn.
Let's go, Kyle.
Let's go, Shrek. Shrek?
Let's not be rash, darling. You can't go anywhere right now.
Let's not sit here with our tummies rumbling.
Let's see. Snow White.
Lighten up? I should lighten up? Look who's telling who to lighten up!
Like a bullet to your brain.
Like Miss Muffet's curds and whey.
Lipstick liners, shadows blush To get that prince with the sexy tush.
Listen. He's purring!
Living la vida loca.
Living la vida loca.
Living la vida loca.
Living la vida loca.
Living la vida loca.
Living la vida loca.
Living la vida loca.
Living la vida loca.
Living la vida loca.
Living the vida loca.
Look at me, Shrek! I'm trotting!
Look at the time. I guess you'd better be going.
Look out below!
Look out, Princess. Here comes the new me.
Look out!
Look, guys. It's for the best.
Look, ladies, I already have a true love.
Look, she's not seeing any clients today, Okay?
Look! A little cat.
Look! Hansel and Gretel!
Look. Make yourself useful and go keep watch.
Look...
Lots and lots of flour.
Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away.
Lucky day, hunk buffet You and your prince take a roll in the hay.
Lust!
Makes me wanna turn around and face me.
Man the cauldrons!
Man, that stinks!
Maybe Fiona would've been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming.
Maybe I'll see y'all Sunday for a barbecue or something.
Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys.
Maybe it's a dud.
Maybe we just need some time to get to know each other.
Maybe you should do the same.
Me and Pinocchio was going to catch a tournament, anyway, so...
Meet their mamas! Milk 'em hard!
Midnight!
Mmm! Exquisite. What do you call this dish?
Mom and Dad approve,
Mom says that when I'm old enough,
Mom, have you seen Shrek?
Mom. Dad.
Mom... Dad...
Mommy can handle this.
Mongo! Down here! Look at the pony!
Mother?
Move 'em on! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide!
Mrs. Fiona Charming.
Mrs. Fiona Charming.
Mud hole to cool down in.
My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy. Er... okay.
My mother, she is sick. And my father lives off the garbage!
My Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower
Naughty!
Nervous disorders.
Never ever end of all this love.
New kicks in the candlelight.
Nice catch, Donkey!
Nip and tuck, here and there to land that prince with the perfect hair.
Nip and tuck, here and there To land that prince with the perfect hair.
No ogres!
No problema, boss. In one of my nine lives,
No, Dad! It's all right. It's all right. He's with us.
No, Donkey! I need you to cry!
No, no, he's right. I'm sorry.
No, no, it's nobody's fault.
No, no. I was just reading a, uh... a scary book.
No, really?
No, that's all right. I need to go, anyway.
No, to your left. Your left!
No, we usually prefer the ones who've been locked away in a tower!
No, you must be mistaking me for someone else.
No!
No!
No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down!
No. No, no. Aaah! Ow.
Nobody knows...
Not intended for heart patients or those with...
Not only for your daughter...
Not only for your daughter...
Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?
Not the gumdrop button!
Now let's go before they light the torches.
Now, we have to go.
Now, where were we?
Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from...
Of course! Look. Mom and Dad look happy to see us.
Of the beautiful Princess Fiona and her new husband.
Ogres don't live happily ever after.
Oh ho ho!
Oh, about five minutes ago, actually.
Oh, aren't they adorable!
Oh, boy.
Oh, come on, come on
Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance.
Oh, Dad!
Oh, don't take the potion, Mr. Boss, it's very bad.
Oh, God. Oh...
Oh, great. My one chance to fix things up with Fiona's dad
Oh, great. Now I need their blessing?
Oh, hello again.
Oh, hello. Ha ha ha!
Oh, Mexican food! My favourite.
Oh, my dear. Oh, look at you.
Oh, my dear. Oh, look at you.
Oh, no, no. I don't think so.
Oh, no! Por favor! Please!
Oh, no.
Oh, no. That's the old Keebler's place. Let's back away slowly.
Oh, Okay. All right, cool. I guess...
Oh, put it away, Junior! You're still going to be king.
Oh, shoot! I don't think they can hear us, pigeon.
Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs. Q.
Oh, stop being such a drama king.
Oh, sweetheart.
Oh, thank heavens. Where is she?
Oh, uh...
Oh, uh... sorry. I thought that question was directed at me.
Oh, yeah, that.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yes, you will.
Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable.
Oh, you mean like... sorting the mail and watering the plants?
Oh!
Oh! Sorry.
Oh! You got a puppy? All I got in my room was shampoo.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. By the way.
Oh. I remember.
Oh. It's the one, it's the only...
Oh. Thank you, Mother.
Oh. You heard that, huh?
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Okay, we'll just have a look around.
On my honour, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life
Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away,
Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be.
Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be.
Pah!
Papa!
Pardon me, would you mind letting me go?
Pardon. Um...
Past the sinister trees with scary looking branches.
People just ain't no good.
Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off, okay?
Pinocchio! Get the wand!
Pray for mercy, from Puss...
Presenting Princess Fiona and her new husband, Prince Shrek.
Pretty pony wants to play at the castle!
Pretty pony.
Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek.
Pull back the gossamer curtains to find her...
Puss, do you think you could get to those on top?
Puss!
Puss... in Boots!
Quick! Rewind it!
Quick! Tell a lie!
Rawhide! Move 'em on! Head 'em up!
Rawhide! Yee haw!
Ride 'em up! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide!
Risking life and limb
Running down into this spring that's coming all this love.
Say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing.
Say something crazy like I'm wearing ladies' underwear!
See, you're allergic to that stuff. You'll have a reaction.
Señor? To make the effects of this potion permanent,
Shall we say, 7:30 by the old oak?
She already has it.
She will wear you out.
She will wear you out.
She'll make you live her crazy life.
She'll make you take your clothes off.
She'll push and pull you down.
She'll push and pull you down.
She's a princess, and you're an ogre.
She's finally found the prince of her dreams.
She's got a new addiction.
She's into new sensations.
She's into superstitions.
She's just trying to help.
She's taken the potion! Kiss her now!
She's, uh... in the back.
Shh...
Shimmering love.
Shocked to see you like this?
Shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better.
Shrek and I took some magic potion. And well...
Shrek is the one who rescued me.
Shrek loves me for who I am.
Shrek owns his own land.
Shrek, are you off your nut?
Shrek, Fiona knows you'd do anything for her.
Shrek, Fiona...
Shrek, no! Wait!
Shrek, this is a bad idea.
Shrek, what are you doing?
Shrek!
Shrek!
Shrek!
Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes!
Shrek! Hold still!
Shrek?
Shrek?
Shrek?
Shrek? Donkey?
Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow,
So I said I'm a snowball running.
So she said what's the problem, baby?
So that's it. You won't come?
So, Fiona and Charming will be together.
So, Fiona, tell us about where you live.
So, here comes my sweet remedy.
So, here comes my sweet remedy.
So, how about... we make this a quick visit. What?
So, what's new?
So...
Some crystal glass pumps And no more stress.
Some gender confused wolf telling him that his princess
Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club.
Somewhere after midnight In my wildest fantasy.
Sorry to barge in like this...
Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting, but I'm told you're the one to talk to
Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
Sorry. No handsome.
Still don't know what I was looking for.
Stop it. They're not like that.
Stop the car!
Stop them! Thieves! Bandits! Stop them!
Stop!
Sure. Do you want me to pack for you?
Swimming pools! Movie stars!
Take off the powdered wig and step away from your drawers.
Take the sword and neuter him. Give him the Bob Barker treatment.
Taking care of your love nest for you.
Taut, round buttocks?
Tell her Shrek... I'm her husband, Shrek!
Tell Princess Fiona her husband, Sir Shrek, is here to see her.
Thank you very much, Fairy Godmother,
Thank you, gentlemen! Someday, I will repay you.
Thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need.
Thanks, compadre. I'm... I'm not in the mood.
Thanks.
That girl's gonna make me fall.
That is, assuming you don't eat your own young!
That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your...
That took hold each and every night.
That was for my own...
That'll have to do. We've got company.
That's good.
That's mine!
That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey, on another whirlwind adventure!
That's not funny. That's really immature.
That's not little! That's a really big problem.
That's Okay, buddy. We're from the union.
That's real smooth, Shrek. I'm an ogre!
That's right! Follow the pretty pony!
That's some quality potion. What's in that stuff?
That's the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle.
That's the Fairy Godmother's cottage.
That's what the King said.
That's where we're going. Far, far...
The abs are fab and it's gluteus to the maximus
The castle's guarded. There's a moat and everything!
The drinker must obtain his true love's kiss by midnight.
The Fairy Godmother. I'm sorry. She is not in.
The Golden Bird, the Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman...
The king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl.
The King offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers...
The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey.
The ogre!
The position of annoying talking animal has already been taken.
The potion changed a lot of things, Fiona.
The rich King? SĂ­.
The sun'll come out...
The union?
The whole kingdom heard you.
The whole Kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage.
The world will follow after.
Their devil may mare attitudes just won't fly.
Then they got drunk and start beating me with a stick, going Piñata!
Then this fool had a party and he have the guests trying to pin the tail on me.
Then why don't we pop in there for a spell? Ha ha! Spell!
There it is, Mongo! To the castle!
There to await the kiss... of the handsome Prince Charming.
There you are! We missed you at dinner.
There you go, boys.
There's just one problem. That's not my husband.
There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that, and, frankly...
These lines of lightning mean we're never alone.
They bore me to tears. Flip over to Wheel Of Torture!
They don't even have dental.
They'll write your name on the bathroom wall...
They're both festive, aren't they?
Thick, wavy locks?
Think about it everytime I think about it.
This is Fairy Godmother.
This is Fiona's choice.
This is why nobody likes ogres.
This isn't a good time, pumpkin. Mama's working.
Time may change me.
Time may change me.
Time to put the old horse down.
Tired old thing.
To be this way forever?
To both of you.
To do what? Sharpen their pitchforks?
To enter the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette,
To fight the rising odds?
To honour Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek.
To live happily ever after...
To reach the Dragon's keep.
To the strawberry ice cream.
Tomorrow
Too late.
Travelling for many days and nights,
Trust me. It's a bad idea. We are not going!
Try to at least pretend you're interested in your daughter's wedding ball.
Turn a little faster.
Turn and face the strange.
Two Renaissance Wraps, no Mayo... chili rings...
Uh oh. What did I tell you? I feel something coming on.
Uh... a little. We don't even have dental.
Uh... excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister.
Uh... why don't you guys go ahead? I'll park the car.
Uh...Prince Charming.
Uhh!
Um... Mary! A talking horse!
Um... Yes, yes. Fine. Fine.
Unless, of course, I can't find you or if I forget.
Uno, dos, cuatro, hit it!
Until the sun went down
Use your imagination.
Wait, wait, wait! Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey!
Waiter! How about a bowl for the steed?
Warning: Side effects may include burning, itching, oozing, weeping.
Warts and all.
Wasn't she supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell?
Wave of my magic wand Your troubles will soon be gone.
We can stay like this.
We can't be lost. We followed the King's instructions exactly.
We got a white bronco heading east into the forest. Requesting backup.
We love your kitty!
We made a deal, Harold, and I assume you don't want me to go back on my part.
We need a little time, you know, to be together.
We need to get you out of those clothes.
We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign.
We used to walk down by the lily pond and...
We were just leaving.
We will cheer you up! Find you a nice burro!
We'll be right back with the Royal Far, Far Away Ball
We'll just have to come up with something smarter.
We're accidentally in love.
We've got to stop that kiss!
Well, a bit of a brute.
Well, find a way to entertain yourself.
Well, he's no Prince Charming, but they do look...
Well, I didn't mean to do it.
Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea.
Well, I guess there is one thing.
Well, I talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it.
Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really... warming up to Prince Charming.
Well, it seems that Fiona's not exactly happy.
Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could.
Well, let's explore that, shall we?
Well, maybe I'm in love.
Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing.
Well, sure! He's down on Drury Lane. Why?
Well, there's some fine print for you!
Well, they might be a bit surprised.
Well, this is it.
Well, well, well, Donkey.
Well, what did you expect? Look at what he's done to you.
Well, you know the rest!
Well...
Well...
Whah!
What about my Miranda rights?
What am I supposed to do about it?
What choice do I have?
What do you mean, not on the list? Don't tell me you don't know who I am.
What do you mean, not on the list? Don't tell me you don't know who I am.
What do you think, Harold?
What happened to your voice?
What in Grimm's name are you doing here?
What is a piñata, anyway?
What is it, darling?
What potion?
What should we do with him?
What you lack is the capacity.
What you talking about? Are you serious?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What? I ain't purring.
What? Is it on? Is it on?
What? Say it one more time.
What's going on? Where are you going?
What's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting.
What's the problem? I don't know.
Whatever happens, I must not cry!
When did you decide this?
When did you get back?
When I have to pretend I'm that dreadful ogre?
Where are we?
Where could I find him?
Where have all the good men gone.
Where's the streetwise Hercules.
Whether your parents like it or not... I am an ogre!
Which will be Charming.
Whizzes on you guys.
Who had them lock the young princess away in a tower,
Who says I want to be part of this family?
Who's this? Who's this? Who is this?
Whoa, what happened here?
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa. If we need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call.
Why not come down to the ball and give him another chance?
Will bestow his royal blessing... upon you and your...
Will I ever play the violin again?
Will you accept an old frog's apologies...
Will you honour me with a dance?
With a little drop of poison.
With just a...
With someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with.
With the ogre I married.
Woo!
Would break the dreaded curse.
Wow!
Wow! That potion worked on you, too?
Yeah, right.
Yeah, sure. Now let's go bond with Daddy.
Yeah.
Yes, Fairy Godmother. Right away.
Yes, he is a bit different,
You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away
You are told correct.
You better get in. We need to talk.
You can't lock us up like this! Let me go!
You cannot make me cry!
You capitalist pig dogs!
You couldn't just go back to your swamp and leave well enough alone.
You did! When you married me!
You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona.
You don't exactly smell like a basket of roses.
You force me to do something I really don't want to do.
You have the right to remain silent.
You just gotta let it go.
You know we're always happy to see you, Donkey.
You know, after your little spat last night.
You little, hairy, litter licking sack of...
You make me feel like dirt and I'm hurt.
You might find you like this new Shrek.
You poor creature!
You remember my son, Prince Charming?
You see, I need to have someone taken care of.
You see, ogres don't live happily ever after.
You should. You started it.
You spurn my natural emotions.
You still look like an ass to me.
You still think this was a good idea?
You want to dance, pretty boy?
You were the one who said not to stop for directions.
You wouldn't have had anything to do with this, would you, Harold?
You wouldn't understand. You're not her father!
You'd be surprised how much I changed for your mother.
You'd better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold.
You'd do that?
You're all grown up.
You're bothering me.
You're more that man today than you ever were...
You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent.
You're unbelievable! You're behaving like a...
Your fallen tears have called to me.
Your husband? What? What did you say? When did this happen?
Your Monte Cristo and coffee.
Your order, Fairy Godmother. This comes with the Medieval Meal.
Your worries will vanish, your soul will cleanse.
And he gave you a hard time! Donkey!
Are not! Are too!
Are not. Are too!
Are we there yet? No!
Are we there yet? No.
Are we there yet? We are not!
Are we there yet? Yes.
Are you? I most certainly am not!
Brace yourselves! Ooh! Purty!
But that can't be right. Oh, great, more relatives!
But you love being an ogre! I know!
Can I help you, Your Majesty? Ah, yes! Um...
Catnip! That's not mine.
Charming? Do you think so?
Curly fries? No, thank you.
Dad? Dad, have you seen Shrek? No, I haven't, dear.
Did I miss? No. You got them.
Dinner is served! Never mind. I can hold it.
Don't you, honey? Oh, yes!
Donkey! Yes, roomie?
Donkey? You're a... A stallion, baby!
Easy. Cantankerous, foul,
Elfa Seltzer? Uh uh.
Fine. Be that way. We didn't like you, anyway.
Fiona! Fiona, Fiona! Ho ho ho!
Fiona. Shrek.
For his type, yes. My type?
For me? Yes.
FYI, not my fault. No, of course it's not, dear.
Go on! Say it! Like an ogre!
Gorgeous! I'll say.
Harold! Shrek!
Have you seen my donkey? Who are you calling donkey?
He helped rescue me from the dragon. That's me: The noble steed.
Hex Lax? No! Try handsome.
Hey, boss. Let's shave him. D Donkey?
Hey, you! Back away from my wife. Shrek?
Hold on, Shrek! I'm coming! Come on! Get it off! Get it off!
I am not! What kind?
I got it covered. I don't have anything to rub.
I need a hero. Stop!
I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great. The kind of girl a prince would date!
I'm gonna just stop talking. Finally!
I'm sorry, all right? Hey, don't worry about it.
Indeed. I just started eating. Harold!
Is he? Yup.
It's a thong! Oww! They're briefs!
Know what I'm saying? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Let's keep him! Say what?
Look out, Shrek! He got a piece! It's a cat, Donkey.
Look out, Shrek! Hold still! Get it off!
Mom! Harold...
Mommy! Mommy?
Mother! Charming. Sweetheart.
No more itchy butt crack? I know!
No more wallowing in the mud? I know.
No. Good boy.
Now! Pigs und blanket!
Oh, hello, dear. What's that, Cedric? Right! Coming.
Oh, so now it's cute. Come on, Donkey. Lighten up.
Oh. He sounds dreamy. You know...
Oh... My head... Here, I fetched a pail of water.
Pick me! I'll be your true love! I'll be your true love.
Prince Charming? Royal ball? Can I come?
Princess! Donkey?
Princess... Fiona? No!
Ready? Ready!
Really? No!
Say it one more time now! Living the vida loca
She's on her honeymoon. Honeymoon? With whom?
Shortly after arriving. Look, I'm sorry...
Shrek, please! I only did that because I love her.
Shrek! Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him...
Sorry, boss. Quit messing around!
Sourdough soft taco, then? No, really, I'm fine.
The bush shaped like Shirley Bassey! We passed that three times already!
The ogre, that's what! What? Where is he, Mom?
they were in bloom... Our first kiss.
They're my parents. Hello? They locked you in a tower.
This is it. This is it.
Tonight on Knights... Now here's a good show!
Ugh! What is with you? But, Muffin Cake...
Um, Shrek? Yeah?
Um... Shrek. Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe?
Um... Who are you? Mom, it's me, Shrek.
Umm... no. What did you say?
Very nice, Shrek. What?
We warned you! Ow! Ow!
We're not going. What?
Well, here's to us, Fiona. Shrek?
Well, one of these has got to help. I was just concocting this very plan!
What happened? Nothing, dear!
What should I say? Anything, but quick!
What? Because if you kiss me now...
What? I don't want to leave.
What? You can't force someone to fall in love!
Who are you? Oh, sweet pea!
Who on earth are they? I think that's our little girl.
Yeah, and feeding the fish! I don't have any fish.
Yeah, you wish. Donkey, where is Shrek?
Yes! Oh, finally!
Yes. Believe me, Harold. It's what's best.
You can do this. I really...
You drink that, there's no going back. I know.
You're tense. I want to rub his shoulders.
... for five minutes!