Semi-Pro (2008) Edit

A big bag of shit!

A fantastic introduction.

A little eye flutter. Hello, fella!

A loose ball on the court, Vakidis gets it.

A very unusual series of moves just made the ball go in.

Acquiring Ed Monix from the Kentucky Colonels.

Actually, it's only 2,300.

Ain't no way in Sam Hill we gonna make it to fourth place.

All of you.

All right, everybody, let's hear it for Tropical time...

All right, everyone. Try not to sweat if you can.

All right, fans, let's hear it for Downtown Funky Stuff Malone!

All right, gentlemen. Relax on the first one, we got two here.

All right, guys, huddle up. Vakidis!

All right, let's...

All right, this is what we do. Tae kwon do sessions every practice.

All right, you're being... Well, Jackie. Jackie...

All right!

All right.

All right.

All right. Black. Four two. With the body. Two shots.

All you do is let it

Always enjoy our time together, Dick Pepper.

Always has.

Amazingly, you're two wins away from getting your team to the NBA.

America.

And a wonderful night for the Flint Fairgrounds Coliseum.

And everyone survives!

And financially it means you'll cease to exist.

And he has done more for this city...

And he's killed people in public before.

And I never missed a game!

And I've told you 100 times you're never gonna play for the Tropics.

And if you're a small child, you creep into your mama's bedroom at night...

And in an act of great sacrifice...

And it can't be traveling without first establishing a pivot foot.

And it felt good...

And it is good!

And Jackie Moon gives us a victory lap right out the door!

And keep on wishin'

And keep on wishin'

And let's hear it for Busch Bavarian.

And maybe even one of us has...

And Munson passes him the ball immediately.

And now we're gonna continue that on the court in the second half...

And now with 12 seconds left in the history of this franchise...

And now, the starting lineup...

And one day, you're gonna look back on your life...

And one lucky fan will go home with a game ball.

And ouch, three points.

And our TV stations are complaining about all the fighting.

And she showed me a brand new way to score a basket.

And suck me sexy

And tell the others what I have told you here today.

And that will do it from St. Louis, where the score is inconclusive.

And that!

And the Flint, Michigan Megabowl.

And then we start the game.

And then we'll fight!

And then, yes! Another alley oop.

And there goes the oop!

And this.

And we aksed old Monix if he'd teach us a little bit.

And we aksed old Monix if he'd teach us a little bit.

And we all know this game doesn't really matter anymore, right?

And we'll be right back after these messages from Shasta.

And we're humpin' sexy

And we're this close.

And what does E L E stand for?

And when they look back in the annals of history...

And when you are, this is the play that I'm gonna call.

And where's the necklace I made you?

And with Coffee Black on the Spurs bench, the Tropics look lost.

And wow! A little How do you do? from Markie.

And you are known for your creative promotions, Jackie, but...

And you can still be head coach.

And you lift about 40 bucks...

And you're gonna realize that you never even learned how to play basketball.

And you're the best promoter. We gonna need fans, right?

And, yes!

Appears to have done nothing to diminish his confidence.

Arch that back, Bee Bee.

Are gonna play in the NBA next season.

Are you kidding me? I'd be honored, man. I'll leave right now.

Are you outta your mind?

Are you outta your mind? You wanna lose your NBA contract?

Are you scared? Tropical storm. Eye of the hurricane.

Aren't we, Lou?

As a token of what you will never achieve.

As he finishes up his once popular song, Love Me Sexy.

As he prepares to jump over 47 feet of Ball Girls.

As opposed to a bunch of selfish assholes tryin' to look cool every night.

As the Spurs have traded for several new players from around the ABA.

As the Tropics walk onto the court.

As they carry him off the court.

At Ball Girl, measuring 34 23 34...

At halftime, it's the Nets 62...

At six foot five, a solid, meaty 215 pounds...

At some point in time.

At the end of this season.

Aw, gee whiz...

Baby, are you ready to lick me sexy?

Baby, are you ready to lick me sexy?

Baby, are you ready to lick me sexy?

Baby, are you ready to lick me sexy?

Baby, are you ready to lick me sexy?

Baby, are you ready to lick me sexy?

Baby, are you ready to lick...

Baby, keep on

Baby, keep on

Baby, wake up, we're naked

Baby, we're naked and we're humpin' sexy

Baby, we're naked and we're humpin' sexy

Baby, we're naked and we're humpin' sexy

Baby, who wants to love me sexy?

Baby, who wants to love me sexy?

Baby, who wants to love me sexy?

Baby, who wants to love me sexy?

Baby, who wants to love me sexy?

Baby, who wants to love me sexy?

Baby, who's ready to lick me sexy?

Baby, who's ready to lick me sexy?

Back in 30 seconds.

Back! Back!

Ball, ball, ball, ball, ball, ball, ball! Ball!

Ball, ball, ball!

Bambi's mother got shot, right?

Beautiful, seahorses.

Because there is nothing else for us to save it for.

Because this is the last real game of basketball any of us is ever gonna play.

Bee Bee!

Behind his back to Doubleday.

Between these two tough, competitive teams.

Big ol' boobies.

Big time.

Bitchin'. Bitchin'.

Bobby Dee, help! Shit! Spumoni!

Bobby Dee, where's Clarence?

Bobby Dee, you're like a son I never had.

Bobby Dee.

Boner machine.

Both eyes, and I've been punched right in my tracheal...

Break his neck! Come on!

Buddy. What are you doin'?

But because sprinting might pull the defense out of position...

But come Saturday night they're gonna have to prove it.

But defensively, as a team, how do you...

But he has a point.

But I've been working with cats for like 12 years.

But it's all fake.

But look at this, Jackie Moon blocks his own teammate's shot!

But that didn't happen.

But we ain't never sat around and pretended like we some champions.

But you could be the lucky girl to give it to him!

But... What both those guys said.

By former Tropics forward Lou Redwood.

By punching other guys in the face.

By trading him to the Spurs.

By unselfish, I mean we sprint up the court on every fast break...

Bye, Mama. Bye.

Bye.

Can we talk?

Can you believe that?

Can you do me a big favor?

Can you go get me a tube of Bengay?

Can't we just take it easy? Run the clock out?

Can't you just, you know, like, write me a regular size check?

Cannons, people.

Champion or not, at least I played the game.

Cheer this guy on as he prepares for the impossible.

Clarence baby, you made it! You made it, Clarence, you made it!

Clarence leaping and forcing the ball in a downward direction through the net...

Clarence or no Clarence, NBA or no NBA...

Clarence, I want you to have this ring...

Clockin' that ass from across the room

Coach, I've got back spasms. I can't do it.

Coccyx, and in the back of the knee.

Cock sandwich, that hurts!

Coffee Black headin' to the NBA.

Come on, Alan, that's bullshit!

Come on, baby, keep on doin' it

Come on, baby.

Come on, buddy. Come around.

Come on, Clarence. You're just actin' jealous.

Come on, come on, don't turn your back on us.

Come on, come on.

Come on, don't worry about Jackie. I mean, I got this.

Come on, girl

Come on, girl

Come on, girl. Yeah

Come on, guys...

Come on, Jack! They won't come back in here no more!

Come on, Jackie.

Come on, Jackie.

Come on, let's go, people. Let's get it goin'.

Come on, man, don't be like that. It's all cool.

Come on, man.

Come on, Nets, play some defense.

Come on!

Come on. Jackie? Jackie.

Concentrate all you want.

Cool!

Corn dogs, Jackie! Corn dogs for all these people.

Corn... I don't care, we're takin' it to 'em, all right?

Cornelius, you're a good friend, but that arm hasn't properly healed...

Could be a lot of television cameras out there, so we just gotta be tiptop.

Cover your sodas, Dewie loves sugar.

Crazy fists. I'm comin' with crazy fists.

Crazy for corn dogs.

Cynthia on the throne, yeah!

Damn.

Dance to the music

Dance to the music

Dance to the music

Dance to the music

Dance to the music

Dear Dukes. I'm sorry it took so long, but in this bag is 10,000 dollars, cash.

Decided to add someone to our team to add some real firepower, OK?

Destiny.

Dewie, no!

Dewie!

Dewie! My hair!

Dewie?

Dewie?

Dewie's insane! He could rip my head off!

Dick Pepperfield, actually.

Did anyone look at the scoreboard?

Did we have some fun?

Did you wanna apologize for cheating on me?

Didn't we?

Discovery of fire, invention of the submarine...

Dishes off to Scootsie.

Do I?

Do they test this on animals or is that just a lie?

Do you guys really think I'm a good promoter?

Do you understand me, son?

Does anybody here wanna talk about the fucking game?

Doin' your girl in the locker room? Classy.

Don't be a jackass.

Don't be crazy. I can't write a song as brilliant as Love Me Sexy.

Don't get on your high horse, Redwood. Thank you, Dick, for staying.

Don't gimme that look

Don't tell me you've forgotten it. I seared it into your brains.

Don't think I didn't see you hiding in the upper deck.

Don't think nobody here ever seen a championship ring before.

Don't worry, guys. I got these. I'm very good at free throws.

Don't worry, Jackie! I'm coming, Jackie.

Don't worry, Mom, I won't let you down.

Don't you know how to play basketball?

Double team, double team.

Downtown brings the ball up forward and passes to Monix at the top of the key.

Downtown dribbles the ball through his legs... I love it when he does that.

Downtown Funky Stuff Malone, you hear me?

Downtown wastes no time tagging out Bee Bee Ellis...

Downtown, that's all he ever talk about.

Downtown!

Drink up, this is a big night.

Dukes is excited!

Dukes is homegrown.

Dukes, what do you do for a livin'?

E L E.

Ed Monix is a tenacious defender, and he can hit the big shots.

Ed Monix!

Eleven more hours to go.

Embarrassed?

Even though we need ours.

Ever.

Everybody Love Everybody.

Everybody panic!

Everybody panic!

Everyone can eat shit!

Everyone just remain seated.

Exactly. You know it.

Excused.

Fair and all.

Father Pat breaking up what could have been total pandemonium.

Father Pat is getting the worst of a lot of this.

Father Pat struggles to keep order...

Father Pat, he stepped on the line. He stepped on it.

Feels like I got cat piss in my eyes!

Fellas, it's lookin' great.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Flint Tropics 43.

Flint wins the Megabowl!

Flint wins the Megabowl! Flint wins the Megabowl!

Flint, Michigan Megabowl! Flint, Michigan Megabowl!

For all your flash, you are never gonna play in the NBA.

For all your hard work as part of the Flint Tropics.

For Lou Redwood, I'm Dick Pepperfield reminding you there will be another...

For real this time.

For the last 15 minutes, baby. That's what's been happenin'.

For the lay up against the Amigos last Friday night, man.

For what?

For your Flint, Michigan Tropics!

For, you know, back then we had some problems.

Foul?! I didn't touch anybody.

Foul. No, two fouls.

Four teams will be absorbed into the NBA next year.

Fourth place! Fourth place!

Fourth place! Fourth place!

Freak of the week

Friend. A son friend.

From a weird country called Lithuania.

From South Bend, Indiana...

From the other side of the court. The Moon shot.

Fuck off, Jackie.

Fuck you, Clarence! Spumoni!

Funking is a thing that all of us release

Get ahold of yourself, Jackie!

Get him, Twig. C'mon!

Get it goin'. It feels good, doesn't it?

Get the funk outta my face

Get the funk outta my face

Get the funk outta my face

Get up and dance to the music!

Get up and run, Coach! You're gonna puke like everybody else!

Gets taken out by Petrelli.

Give me that look, that's right

Gives you strength to carry on, yeah

Go Clarence!

Go have yourself a ball!

Go Tropics!

Go Tropics!

Go Tropics! Go Tropics! Go Tropics!

Go!

God damn it, Bob! I'm about to reach over there and tear you a new asshole!

God damn it, Pat. What the hell's wrong with you?

God damn it, Vakidis!

God, it burns.

God, this guy's a bummer.

Good call. Let's get Tropical on three. One, two, three.

Good luck.

Good night, Ed.

Good night, Flint.

Good night.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Gorgonzola, muenster and cottage.

Got that, Monix?

Got traded. Yeah. Yeah.

Great backdoor cut...

Great backdoor cut...

Great.

Gun's not loaded!

Guys, it's over.

Had his collarbone broken... twice.

Have a good one.

Have you ever been punched in the jejunum?

He brought nachos from home. Tryin' to run a business here.

He can shoot the basketball.

He convinced the board to pass another merger rule.

He goes up strong...

He has all three major kinds of retardation.

He just won a giant check that says $10,000.

He keeps throwin' elbows. What do you want me to do?

He pulls up for a dagger...

He punches in bunches.

He sat through every playoff game.

He stepped on the line, You were lookin' at it. Come on.

He was talkin' to me.

He'll go with his right. He loves his right one. He likes the right hand.

He's got a pulse.

He's got an NBA ring and he's playing for the Tropics.

He's got no idea what's going on.

He's got no idea what's going on.

He's got the hottest girl in the world, I'm not kiddin'.

He's just focusing, taking a moment to concentrate. That's OK.

He's making mincemeat of his defender here.

He's right. The season isn't over yet.

He's shootin' granny style. Let 'im do his thing.

Hell, no. This shit burnin' already, man.

Hell, no. You traded for Monix?

Here comes the alley.

Here comes...

Here he comes down the ramp.

Here we go.

Hey

Hey, can you give us a second, please?

Hey, don't tell anybody.

Hey, Flint Tropics, welcome back, give the Amigos a heart attack

Hey, guess what? The Celtics weren't just all stars, they were a team. A team!

Hey, guys, what's shakin'?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Listen.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, how are your mom and sister?

Hey, how come it says Monix on your jersey when your name's Pussy?

Hey, I cheated on you once.

Hey, we're up by seven, OK?

Hey, you know what? Yeah, everybody should have a chance.

Hey! Hey, I got a ring up here too. Mine says love.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Look at my eyes. No, look at my eyes.

Hey... I threw up, Mom.

His team down by two, with two seconds left on the clock.

Hold on. I'm just being told that this is called an alley oop!

Holy balls.

Holy crap.

Holy shit, I'm a miracle!

Horse in the trailer. Nowhere to go.

How about this, I'll be the offensive and defensive coordinator...

How about we run some plays in the second half, Jackie?

How long you been working with the bear?

Humpin' sexy

Humpin' sexy

I agree, it's completely unprofessional, Dick.

I am not a boner machine, now.

I been doin' a lot of thinkin'.

I bought 'em!

I brought a secret weapon.

I can't go back to working at that car wash. No.

I can't puke, Monix! I've never puked in my life, ever!

I did get shot!

I did it.

I didn't deserve that ring, Lynn.

I dig you, brother, but I heard the problem ain't just here in Flint.

I don't care nothin' about that, man. This is our season and we gonna finish it.

I don't care. I'm terrified of those things. I'm freakin' out.

I don't give a shit about the corn dogs, all right?

I don't know who you're talkin' to but business is boomin'.

I don't know, they... To me she looks structurally unsound.

I don't like it.

I don't see a need for that kinda language.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone get taken out quite that hard before.

I don't think so.

I don't wanna leave this place. It's so fluffy.

I don't want a large sum, OK?

I get people to do great things!

I got season tickets. I can do whatever the hell I want.

I had a dream I was in heaven.

I had a dream.

I hardly played. I was never the guy to hit the big shot.

I hate to see this go to waste. This little bit.

I have dedicated my life to this team, OK?

I have given you guys my soul!

I have no idea.

I just like wearing it around my neck, that's all.

I just thought you'd wanna hear that.

I just wanna sit here and have a beer in peace.

I just wanted to take one last time to say thank you to all of you...

I just wish I could puke this all away.

I know there's some team out there that can use the services of...

I know you did, sweetie.

I love the alley oop.

I make sure nothing bad'll happen to you.

I mean, call us what you want to...

I mean, I was out there grabbin' balls. I think I grabbed some of your guys' balls.

I mean, I've been punched in the armpit before, and in the wrist twice.

I mean, who bought you those boots last Halloween?

I mean, why are you here?

I mean, you can just think of me as Bambi's mother.

I move we vote on the terms of the merger.

I need one of those big tubes like you get at Luger's out on Route 59.

I need to speak with you and the rest of the team, Jackie.

I need you.

I never thought you'd pull it off. But you did.

I never wanted anything more in my whole fucked up life.

I really liked them boots. They were nice.

I remember that the credits were still rollin' and everything.

I said, I gotta pull the trigger on this.

I see some ladies up there who wanna love me sexy.

I stole it.

I swear, if this Plexiglass wasn't dividing us right now...

I tell you what, Dick, this makes a lot of sense...

I think he left.

I think I drained all I can out of there.

I think this guy could give us a new spark.

I think you're on a little somethin' that's homegrown maybe, huh?

I threw up all by myself.

I wanna do a little thing wit' you

I wanna do a little thing wit' you

I wanna kill myself y sexy

I wanna take you higher

I wanna take you higher

I want my team. Come on, you guys...

I was excited to be here till I saw your face, Coffee.

I was gonna say exactly the same thing.

I wish you were still a washing machine!

I won't do anything if I get the ball, I promise.

I'd feel more comfortable if he hated me.

I'd like a guarantee.

I'd make sweet, tender, slow, hot love...

I'll call you.

I'll get it.

I'll keep this team alive.

I'll see you fuckers in hell!

I'll take both of you fuckers out right damn now!

I'll tell you, the spirit and camaraderie of this league...

I'm a big faker and I stole this song ly sexy

I'm a motivator in the classic sense of the word.

I'm a pretty aggressive owner.

I'm a real owner.

I'm a rover, Coach. I'm just gonna go rover.

I'm already gone, big man!

I'm an injured player, man. I should be on the bench.

I'm at the top of my game. I'm very close to the top.

I'm comin', Jackie.

I'm creatin' a diversion, though...

I'm Dick Pepperfield joined, as always...

I'm Dick Pepperfield, reminding you there will be another night.

I'm flattered, but I don't think Jackie would be too happy about this.

I'm going to the bench, man. Move!

I'm gonna get an extension cord and hang myself sexy

I'm gonna hypnotize you. I'm not gonna blink. I'm not gonna blink.

I'm gonna show you guys this game that I learned...

I'm Jackie Moon, I take care of you guys, right?

I'm joined by owner/player/coach Jackie Moon.

I'm just sittin' here watching... and stuff.

I'm not here to do whatever this is. What is this?

I'm not jivin' you. I've never jived you my whole life.

I'm not makin' a whole lot of sense right now.

I'm not quite as flashy as you.

I'm nothin' but a big phony.

I'm outta here.

I'm outta here. Spumoni.

I'm pretty sure that you called me a jive turkey.

I'm scared, Clarence.

I'm so happy I can't even feel my arms!

I'm sorry I stole your song.

I'm sorry, I don't know what just happened.

I'm startin' to feel really dizzy.

I'm sure you've all heard the rumors, and they are true...

I'm talkin' rainforest sweaty

I'm talkin' swamp sweaty

I'm the greatest man in the world!

I've been sick before, I've just never puked. Swear on my mother's grave.

I've been thinking...

I've changed my mind. I think we could use that alley oop of yours in the NBA.

If I had a ring like that, I'd have it on my finger every day...

If we play unselfish, fundamental basketball, we can make a run at this.

If you ain't heard, I got traded.

If you have a small child, use it as a shield!

If you're gonna drink a beer, you might as well make it Busch Bavarian.

In a new merger policy shift...

In all my years of radio, I've never seen anything like this.

In fact, it looks like he's running the offense.

In fact, the local PBS wanted to do a documentary on me.

In the sky so very dear

In this locker room has been punched in the face by this guy...

Is it you? Is it you?

Is it you? Is it you?

Is it you? Or is it you?

Is on full display here tonight, Lou.

Is that even a word?

Is the shit in Ann Arbor? 'Cause that's where you were during the war.

It appears a line has been crossed by Father Pat of all people.

It is a sold out crowd here at the Flint Fairgrounds Coliseum...

It is two points.

It looks like they're gonna win this game. The only question is, by how much?

It matters...

It seems the Tropics will not be playing for an NBA berth after all.

It sounds like Jackie Moon is up and around the Tropics locker room.

It won't go to waste. Save that for the next guy.

It worked, Jackie!

It's a baby bear. It's trained and everything.

It's a dang shame.

It's a great question.

It's a Megabowl. What's not to understand?

It's a thrill to be in Flint. Smells Tropical in here.

It's been about 12 weeks since I porked 'em.

It's called fondue.

It's eyeliner, dummy.

It's gonna make us look extra cool on TV.

It's good!

It's hard to say where the Tropics are falling down worse tonight...

It's his team, his money and his tunnel of beautiful ball girls.

It's just like the Titanic, but it's full of bears!

It's like, if you watch a porn movie, doesn't mean you got laid.

It's me, Jackie Moon

It's not a pet.

It's not loaded!

It's OK, Scootsie. 'Cause I got a plan. All right?

It's taken a lot of my time out of my life, away from my family.

It's the latest thing from Sweden, apparently.

It's the Spurs' ball as Rebenkoff makes a shot.

It's the whole league that's goin' under.

It's time.

It's true.

It's written in glitter, man.

Jackie makes the start here.

Jackie Moon always gives himself...

Jackie Moon and the referee really going at it here.

Jackie Moon finally making a move...

Jackie Moon Flint...

Jackie Moon has done a lot for this city, you're right about that.

Jackie Moon has helped Tropics' superstar, Coffee Black...

Jackie Moon has outdone himself with this promotion...

Jackie Moon holding the fate of Flint in his fingertips.

Jackie Moon is ejected from the game.

Jackie Moon is pulling his team off the court.

Jackie Moon soaking up a robust round of applause...

Jackie Moon, I believe you have one more game to promote.

Jackie passes right back to Monix.

Jackie tips the ball away. Twiggy picks it up and takes it in.

Jackie, are you really gonna wrestle a bear?

Jackie, come on, it's me, it's Bobby Dee.

Jackie, come on, man, it's us. You ain't got to jive us, man.

Jackie, he made the shot.

Jackie, I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong.

Jackie, it's time you forgave yourself.

Jackie, Love Me Sexy is the worst song I've ever heard.

Jackie, this is the type of deal you can work around, ain't it?

Jackie, we agreed to a very large sum.

Jackie!

Jackie! C'mon. Jackie, Jackie!

Jackie.

Jangel has the ball now.

Jeez!

Jive turkey is a little over the line, my man!

Just a moment. Just a moment, please. Don't...

Just like a day or so.

Just open your eyes with your fingers, guys. It's really nice.

Keep it alive, right here! Throw it in the blender.

Keep on doin' it

Keep on doin' it

Keeping the crowd energized through the timeout.

Kinda brutally honest.

Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to welcome this man...

Layin' low.

Learn fuckin' English!

Leg kick, Scootsie.

Let go! Hold it in, Jackie! Hold it in!

Let me ask you somethin', Monix.

Let that out.

Let's bring it in, it's showtime, right? Let's get...

Let's do this.

Let's don't get emotional about it. Just...

Let's fill the bathtub full of sweat, all right

Let's get him in the locker room, guys. Hurry.

Let's get sweaty, let's get real sweaty

Let's get the stretcher.

Let's get Tropical!

Let's get Tropical!

Let's get Tropical. Jackie R. Moon.

Let's go, everybody get in position.

Let's go, Trops!

Let's go.

Let's go. Eyes up here. Turn that contraption off. Come on.

Let's not talk about porking of the moms and the sisters...

Lick me sexy

Lick me sexy

Lick me sexy

Lick me sexy

Lick me sexy

Like he some kind of hero or somethin'.

Listen, I hope you didn't agree to this trade because of me.

Listen, I promised these fans a show tonight, all right?

Listen, I'm gonna be working with the Commissioner of the NBA...

Listen, Jackie, I never thanked you.

Listen, Jackie, I think you should call a team meeting.

Listen. This is long overdue, but I wanna apologize.

Living his gray flannel life

Look at Monix take it to Petrelli. I wish the people at home could see this.

Look at the Russian bear go. Throwing people around like rag dolls.

Look at the size of that thing!

Look at this guy. He's so hopped up on goofballs and grass...

Look at this. Coffee Black is walking over to the Tropics.

Look, even if you beat the Spurs on Saturday...

Look, I don't know what your bank is telling you.

Look, it's no problem. I'll take care of it.

Look, Jackie, people can't just go flyin' in the air like that.

Look, Jackie. Now, don't get mad, but some of us got together...

Look, just got off the phone with the Commissioner.

Look, there's nothing in the rulebook that says you can't play drunk.

Look, we're all here.

Looks like a little gentleman's disagreement on the court. Nothing big.

Looks like Jackie Moon has brought a trick from Broadway to the court tonight.

Lou, can I ask you to please put out your cigarette?

Lou!

Lou. Lou.

Love me

Love me sexy

Love me sexy

Love me sexy

Love me sexy

Love me sexy!

Lutz, you're in.

Make sure the camera gets your eyes!

Man, don't talk like that. You ain't no phony.

Man, get outta town.

Man, why are you wearing that on your neck?

Man... hey!

Man... hey!

Mark my words, as long as I'm alive, you'll both...

Maybe you should try a different bank. A big bank.

Me in the NBA?! Really?

Merger.

Merger. Merger.

Misses it.

Mom.

Monix inbounds to Jackie.

Monix passes to Jackie.

Monix splits the screen with a pass to Moon.

Monix, bail's been set.

Monix, can you punch me in the jejunum?

Monix, it was the high point of your career.

Monix, wait. I gotta tell these guys somethin'.

Monix, what time is it?

Monix, where's your makeup, buddy?

Monix, you got Petrelli's ass!

Monix, you gotta hit him in the nuts!

Monix!

Monix?

Moon to Ellis.

Most importantly, he actually agreed to come here.

Move on up

Mr. Big Stuff

Munson to Monix.

My God, look at this right here. Champion in sparkling gold.

My God, thank you. Can I bring my son friend with me?

My God. What the fuck is that? It's incredible.

My goodness.

My gosh, a loose ball on the court and Clarence dives for it?

My mom said I never did it. I swear.

My teammates, it was an honor to be on the court with you.

New Red Apple Soda with a great taste and tingle they're still looking for.

Next time I'm gonna jump even more girls.

Nice! And freeze it.

No matter who you are

No way. Really?

No, actually, there is.

No, but a little bit of a delay in play for a moment here.

No, don't just go rovin'. Run the play, Jackie Moon.

No, don't talk. You'll just make it worse. I don't want to cry and wet my pants.

No, I can't.

No, I don't need spumoni, OK? Let's get this show on the road.

No, I don't. Why don't you just shut up, man?

No, I like to smoke when I drink.

No, I'm talking about free corn dogs.

No, man. No, believe me, it's not cool.

No, no, no, no.

No, no. In fact, it often means the opposite.

No, no. Now, Lou, nobody called anyone a JT.

No, nope. No, no. You can't quit now. We just started.

No, these girls aren't gonna fight.

No, to the high post, Vakidis. Help him.

No, what's a jejunum?

No, you broke it playing with me in the driveway.

No, you're not on the team.

No!

No!

No!

No! Changed my mind. Right back, though.

No! I want you to be brain dead, gentlemen!

No.

No.

No. No, he did not.

Nobody move. Nobody move.