Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015) Edit

A babysitter to keep an eye on you.

A bag of tissue.

A breath mint?

A few things on the way home.

A good bonding experience for you guys.

A half pipe in the back yard?

A little snack to get me from lunch to dinner.

A little. What I mean is...

A more stable chapter...

A new chapter in your life.

Abort. Abort. Let's go.

About 32 bucks.

About heading for the hills.

Absolutely nothing.

Act casual.

Actually, that reminds me, uh...

Adoption?

Again.

Agent Suggs, Air Marshal.

AGENT SUGGS: Listen to me,

AGENT SUGGS: Okay. Let's make sure

AGENT SUGGS: Shut up!

AGENT SUGGS: Um, ooh...

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah. I've always wanted to say that!

Ah. While we're young, Simon.

Ain't no apology necessary.

Air marshal.

Alice?

All because we only cared about if we were happy.

All right, all right.

All right, be good.

All right, bye, sweetie. Be good.

All right, I guess my life

All right, I'm gonna take a look.

All right, you are not to leave this room.

All right, you can keep it. Just don't tell anyone, okay?

All right, you heard him!

All right! A tater tot!

All right! Everybody calm down!

All right! Hey, ready?

All right! Nice!

All right! Yes!

All right.

All right.

All right. Here we go.

All right. I guess this is it. Have a great weekend, guys.

All right. I'll make breakfast.

ALL: ♪ Get juicy

ALL: ♪ Juicy wiggle!

ALL: Aw.

ALL: Hey, Miss Price.

Alley oop!

Almost forgot this.

Alvin, did you hire someone to build

Alvin, don't. You'll just make it worse.

Alvin, grab it.

Alvin, grab this.

Alvin, he can't hear us!

Alvin, I found him.

Alvin, jump!

Alvin, of course. And there's Simon.

Alvin, Simon and Theodore to be his children.

Alvin, Simon and Theodore, do you agree to this adoption?

Alvin, these aren't even chipmunks.

Alvin, what are we going to do?

Alvin, what... Are we doing a charade?

ALVIN: (CHUCKLES) Smooth, Miles.

ALVIN: (GROANS) I got a splinter in my tail.

ALVIN: ♪ Get juicy!

ALVIN: Ah, whatever.

ALVIN: And I'm back to Yes.

ALVIN: Are we rolling?

ALVIN: Beggars can't be choosers.

ALVIN: Excuse me!

ALVIN: Follow the ball! Through the mouth!

ALVIN: Good luck, Simon! Yeah.

ALVIN: Guys, it's time.

ALVIN: Guys...

ALVIN: Hey, Dave!

ALVIN: Hey, Dave.

ALVIN: Hey!

ALVIN: I don't know, I haven't seen him since the last hole.

ALVIN: I hope you're happy, Theodore.

ALVIN: I love you, Dave!

ALVIN: I'm very confused right now.

ALVIN: Miles, if we're going to make this work,

ALVIN: Miles, listen.

ALVIN: No worries, we've just been ruminating

ALVIN: No, Miles, we actually would have waited for you.

ALVIN: Now we're talking.

ALVIN: Oh, nuts.

ALVIN: Oh. Huh.

ALVIN: Okay, guys, here's the plan...

ALVIN: Over here.

ALVIN: Party!

ALVIN: Real smooth, Simon.

ALVIN: Redfoo!

ALVIN: Theodore! You hit the flip button!

ALVIN: This party is the least we can do for you, Dave.

ALVIN: Uh oh.

ALVIN: Um...

ALVIN: Wow.

ALVIN: Yeah...

ALVIN: Yeah...

ALVIN: You guys don't have to worry about us.

ALVIN: You're right.

Alvin!

Alvin!

Alvin!

Alvin! This is no time for honesty.

Alvin?

Amateurs.

An animal living in my beard?

An official and legal father could ask for.

And a med student, I could do this in my sleep.

And a text.

And a tiny little barbed wire fence, and a tiny toilet...

And a tiny yard where you can lift your tiny little weights!

And accept partial responsibility

And also when we get back to LA.

And an otter. And an otter! God!

And boys...

And change their number.

And get me the frequency

And get me the GPS information for that rental car.

And I am definitely not going to end up related to that guy.

And I like people to know I'm dating a doctor.

And I mean everything!

And I need the fastest set of wheels you've got!

And I promise to be a better dad from here on out.

And I was probably a little over the top

And I wore my stethoscope out again, didn't I?

And I, personally, don't think it's uncommon...

And I'm all knowing.

And I'm gonna give you as a gift to Anna,

And I've done just fine without one.

And if you got a problem with it,

And it bites.

And moonshine!

And now we don't have to hang out.

And one more thing.

And right back to No.

And second, you guys would've done the same thing to me.

And she's not getting my texts...

And that's not even a real number.

And that's our cue to leave.

And The Chipettes leaving to guest judge American Idol...

And The Chipmunks?

And the fact that I didn't know that...

And the hits just keep on coming. Oh.

And then we never have to see each other again.

And then you forced an emergency landing.

And then, if you ever get out of there...

And then, you performed open heart surgery.

And Theo, get down from there.

And they were ladies.

And they're chipmunks! Hey!

And they're gonna put you in a zoo prison

And they're having a blast!

And uplink code from that rental car.

And we changed our minds.

And we could just go back to LA.

And we don't have anywhere else to go.

And we just had one more quick thing to say.

And we pretty much track everything.

And we'd like to make it up to her.

And we'll call it... no one's ball.

And you follow your heart, but maybe

And you guys can keep Dave too.

And you said you had to come to dinner, so...

And you. Get in there.

And you're not fooling anyone with your good boy routine.

And, as if we're not in enough trouble already, it's Dave.

And, like, everyone around you is so not.

And, you know, if you have a pen...

Angry. (GROWLS) Get over here.

ANNOUNCER: Please give a warm welcome...

Another congratulations, sir. Shut up!

Any day, now. And...

Anyway, it's starting to feel kind of serious, so...

Anyways, I have this party

Are they, like, your adopted kids, or...

Are we going to jail?

Are you joking?

Are you kidding me right now?

Are you sure about this?

As it was the peanuts dipped in cough syrup.

As much as I hate the idea of letting you three

As soon as the show is over, we're all going home.

Ashley's album release in Miami.

At least we're not on the No Drive List.

At the restaurant right now...

Aw, man. The babysitter.

Aw, sorry about that, guys.

Away from where they're supposed to be?

Awesome!

Awkward.

Back to LA right now is because...

Barry has something he'd like to ask you.

Be silent. Be still.

Because #Davesparty was trending on Twitter.

Because if this three ring circus

Because if this three ring circus

Because it's for Dave, we're in.

Because of that distinguished career...

Because that was so bad.

Because we are a family.

Because we're gonna need to do a quick body search.

Because you said you're starting

Because you think he's gonna ditch you, too.

Before I have to go to

Before we perform,

Before you guys know it,

Besides, once we put them in the shirts

Birds and dogs!

Birds! Birds!

Blink once for Theodore, twice for Simon.

Body search!

Body search?

Bonding experience as super gluing us together.

Break a leg.

Buckle up!

But Alvin's not here yet! Forget about him, let's go!

But as long as Alvin is around,

But Dave, we don't...

But given that our legs are 90% shorter than yours...

But he's got the biggest heart.

But I got a new one for you, Juicy Wiggle!

But I gotta get back to Miami.

But I guess you're not mature enough for that.

But I had fun getting in trouble with you guys.

But I thought you guys were old enough

But I'd never bail on you guys.

But I'd never bail on you guys.

But I'm stuck babysitting.

But I'm taking you boys down.

But it all kind of lines up.

But it's dark outside,

But it's gonna be our family. And we're proud of it.

But locally. Okay?

But no ice. It's supposed to be filthy.

But now it's payback time.

But seriously, guys, this is the happiest day of my life.

But to provide for the health,

But we're not normal kids, Dave.

But we're not normal kids, Dave.

But we're on the ground and this is a car.

But what if it's true?

But you have to promise to go back in before we land.

But you're going to Hollywood!

But you're okay leaving us with that psychopath?

But, and this is the part that I'd like you to focus on...

But, good talk.

But, we love to perform.

But, you're gonna give us one last chance, right?

But... Dave wouldn't do that to us.

Butterscotch liquor.

Buying a new house?

By doing the one thing we do best!

By signing this...

By stealing the ring,

By this pool, and I'm gonna relax.

Bye, guys.

Bye, Mom. Bye, honey.

Bye, Theodore able. (GIGGLES)

CAB DRIVER: To the nearest bus station, $32.

Call it whatever you want, man. It's true.

Can you get one more from this side?

Can you really sing?

Can you really sing?

Can't get you chipmunks out of my life fast enough.

Can't it wait?

Can't you go any faster?

Cause mischief on land, sea and air?

Changing my mind in three...

Chip shot!

Chipmunk jail.

CHIPMUNKS: ♪ This hit That ice cold

Chipmunks?

Chucky was just a doll.

Cold in here, isn't it?

Come back here!

Come here.

Come on up.

Come on, Alvin! He's coming! Go, Miles, go!

Come on, Alvin! Hurry, hurry!

Come on, bass.

Come on, come on! Whoo hoo!

Come on, girls. Let's roll.

Come on, guys!

Come on, guys. Let's go home.

Come on, guys. We know when we're not wanted.

Come on, it's 10 miles to the bus station.

Come on, let's go, come on! Come on, Alvin!

Come on, let's go. Go!

Come on, Miles, join the party?

Come on!

Come on! Let's go. Aw, I know.

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Go.

Come on. Where are you?

Come on. Where are you?

Comfortable sleeping in trees, not me.

Congratulations on such a distinguished career, sir.

Congratulations.

Crazy idea.

Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy.

Dave is going to propose tonight.

Dave liked it and he's gonna put a ring on it.

Dave Seville?

Dave, I swear, it wasn't as crazy as it looked on TV.

Dave, it's all good. It's just us.

Dave, we came to Miami

Dave, we're so sorry

Dave! Dave!

Dave! Whoa!

Dave...

Dave's birthday message, take 1.

Dave's gonna know something's wrong

David Seville has officially adopted

DAVID: Alvin!

DAVID: Huh. What are you guys doing?

DAVID: Mine's the three ringer.

DAVID: What the...

DAVID: Yes, so behave, okay?

Deep breaths, Theodore. In and out.

Definitely not.

Definitely see you there.

Definitely, yeah.

Did Dave mention that?

Did some chipmunks jump on your bus?

Did you guys hear that?

Did you hear that?

Did you hear that? It sounded like somebody yelled Alvin.

Did you help three chipmunks get their rental car today?

Direct from our Austin to Miami Comeback Tour,

Do not smile. You guys are grounded in Miami

Do nothing. Nothing?

Do you have any idea how terrifying it is...

Do you know what this is?

Do you know who you're talking to?

Does that mean we did it?

Does this look like a face that will survive prison?

Does this mean no miniature golf tomorrow?

Does this mean we're Sevilles?

Don't be. I didn't know him.

Don't come back any other day, okay.

Don't even think about leaving.

Don't forget your stethoscope.

Don't make me say it, man, it's so lame.

Don't move.

Don't say it. Resist the urge.

Don't tempt me.

Don't walk away now.

Don't you Dave, Mom us.

Drinks are on you!

Dude, I'm sorry, but it's over.

Due to a herd of chinchillas in the cockpit.

Earlier this evening...

Easy for you to say.

Eat all of Dave's food?

Elevator power off.

Emergency landing in Austin, Texas

Empanadas?

Enchanté.

Enjoy that, yeah.

Entire card in this one ticket.

Esteban.

Evasive maneuvers! Nutmeg!

Even that Suggs guy hung out with us.

Even though you consider me to be your dad, and...

Eventually, you will get over him leaving.

Everybody, welcome The Chipmunks!

Everything okay?

Exactly. But this is what it's all about.

Except for one tiny detail...

Except to get us a coffee. (CHUCKLES)

Excuse me, could you turn that up, please?

Excuse me, I'm sorry. In here! Come on!

Excuse me, pardon me.

Excuse me, that's my brother's ball.

Excuse me! Pardon me! Coming through.

Excuse me. I'll be right back.

Excuse me. May I see your boarding pass?

Falafel!

False alarm.

Families come in all shapes and sizes, sir.

Feels like a win.

Feels like it's working.

Fine.

Fire, please put it out!

First down? What are you...

First of all, that's what squirrels do.

First, awesome, because

First, can you guys apologize for trampling my friends?

Floating away!

Fly, Bee! Fly!

Follow me, come on guys!

For a long time. Let's go.

For a very special woman

For all the trouble we've caused.

For dangerous animals.

For hours and I'm probably out of a job...

For Miss Ashley Grey!

For some peanuts? We're hungry.

For someone to move five times a year

For you guys to get to know each other better.

Freeze!

From Los Angeles, California...

From the Alvin, Simon and Theodore dolls...

Get back here!

Get out of here.

Get out of the way, hillbillies!

Girls are scientifically proven

Girls, thank you.

Give me some. Ow!

Give us back our brother! Yeah!

Go on through.

Go on, plump and juicy, say something.

Go to New Orleans. It's the craziest.

Go, go, go!

Go, Miles, go! Hurry!

Good luck proposing without this.

Good luck, outlaws. Thanks.

Good luck!

Got it, no favorites.

Got it. There you go!

Got some bad news, muchacho.

Gotcha!

Gotcha!

Gotcha!

Great news, fellas.

Great. 76 bucks.

Ground me for life.

Grow up, James.

Guys, come on. Miles...

Guys, guys... Just...

Guys, I have a plan.

Guys, it's a credit card.

Guys, last night was one of the best nights of my life.

Guys, not now, okay?

Guys, nothing isn't a plan! We can't do nothing.

Guys, slingshot. On three.

Guys, that ring isn't mine.

Guys, the party is in three days.

Guys, their reservation was at 8:00.

Guys, they aren't here for you, come on.

Guys, we have to get back to auditions.

Guys.

Guys...

Ha!

Ha! (LAUGHS)

Ha! Gotta run!

Ha! Ha!

Happy Birthday, Dave!

Happy Birthday, Dave!

Happy Birthday, Dave! Whoo hoo!

Happy Birthday, Dwayne.

Has Dave proposed yet?

Have a nice night.

Have you ever been to Miami?

He can twist.

He definitely does now.

He does a lot of bending and back up.

He does a lot of bending and back up.

He does splits.

He found us.

He means emotionally, but...

He might as well have. He left when I was only five.

He might be the smallest,

He never would have made it through Security.

He shoots, he scores! Nice, Alvin!

He would never bail on you.

He's a good person.

He's a good person.

He's a talking chipmunk.

He's a talking chipmunk.

He's fine. He was saving Miles' life.

He's like the Terminator! Yeah!

He's not for sale!

He's proposing to his girlfriend, Alice,

He's so smooth.

He's talking about marriage, Miles.

He's, like, super cute. I really like him.

Hear what?

Heart rate is smooth and steady, 400 BPM.

Hello, boys.

Hello, boys.

Hello, New Orleans!

Hello?

Help! Someone save me!

Here you go. Thank you.

Here's a fun fact.

Here's Suggsy! (LAUGHS)

Here's the deal, Miles.

Hey, down here!

Hey, guys! Ah, it is good to see you.

Hey, guys! Look what I won! Isn't he cute?

Hey, guys.

Hey, guys. This is Samantha.

Hey, hey, hey. Come on, keep it in there!

Hey, Miles, right?

Hey, no smiling.

Hey, official and legal Dad?

Hey, um...

Hey, we gotta get out of here.

Hey, we missed a call from Dave.

Hey, you guys having fun?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! I thought you said this was a going away party for us.

Hey! Please!

Hey! What the heck?

Hey.

Hey. Don't judge me. I saw Pink Flamingos.

Hey. What happened to Officer Dingleberry?

Hi, Suggs!

Hi! I'm Theodore.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi... ya.

High... Oh, fist.

Hmm. Good point.

Hmm. Nice form.

Hold on, let me send you this picture.

Hold on, we don't know that.

Holding your nuts all winter.

Holy guacamole!

Hope you're okay.

Hopefully they had time to cool off on the plane.

How are we gonna get to Miami if she's gonna be watching us?

How could I have let them talk me into this?

How dare you!

How did you find us?

How do I look?

How does that work?

How short?

How would you feel about some singing chipmunks?

Huh. Never mind.

Huh. They didn't kill us after all.

Hurry up, Alvin, come on!

Hurry, Alvin. Hit the button!

Hurry, hurry! He's coming!

Hurry, Theodore, run!

Hurry, Theodore!

Huzzah!

I actually don't speak Spanish.

I also speak Spanish.

I am an event planner.

I am putting you three on the No Fly List.

I am so sorry.

I am the police of the sky!

I am.

I asked you to stop!

I can feel the bonding happening already.

I can still see the tree!

I can't believe I maxed out my mom's

I can't believe I'm saying this,

I can't believe that worked.

I can't sleep without my pillow.

I could be, I don't know, getting a pedicure?

I could live here.

I couldn't see it happening someday.

I did.

I didn't mean to startle you.

I didn't realize how boring it is

I do, and I hope you guys do, too.

I do.

I don't care, you know?

I don't feel very comfortable with you guys

I don't get paid enough.

I don't have fur.

I don't know, I never really thought about it.

I don't know, you know that famous saying...

I don't know! Come on.

I don't know! Just think of something!

I don't think I've ever been more disappointed

I don't think she knows she's here.

I don't think she knows we're here.

I don't wanna go to jail! (GASPS)

I don't wanna talk to you either.

I don't want Miles to be right any more than you do,

I don't want to go back to the forest.

I don't. Beard peanuts?

I feel the same about you guys.

I find your attitude insulting.

I found it in his bag, five minutes ago.

I got 40 cheese pizzas here for a, uh, Theodore.

I got a little early gift for you.

I got some bad news for you, too, muchacho.

I guess they heard we were coming.

I had a kid, and he was, like...

I have a reason to believe

I have a very particular set of skills.

I have to be here.

I have to pee.

I hereby sign this order confirming this adoption.

I hope he gets home safe.

I hope when they get here, they're not annoying.

I invited a friend to join us.

I just blew the surprise.

I just paid 20 bucks for him.

I just think there's something wrong with her phone

I know my work schedule is tough...

I know these chipmunks are here.

I know what you had for lunch today.

I know you will, because I hired

I know.

I love you like my own sons, it's never been official.

I mean, I know I haven't

I mean, that's not what I meant.

I mean, uh... Not that I'm expecting it to happen.

I mean, you wouldn't be the first guy

I mean... I love when... Music with your mouth...

I might not even get to the record release!

I need to get out of this bar ASAP!

I need to talk to Wardrobe, we need to...

I need you to go back there,

I need your help.

I only got a plus one,

I partied with those tree skunks?

I promise. Whoa.

I really want it to work.

I should take the lead on this one.

I still need you to say something like I agree.

I think he means our 158th last chance?

I think that joke missed by miles.

I think that was just a design flaw.

I think you're imagining it.

I thought an introduction would be nice.

I thought it was cute.

I thought we had a great time in New Orleans.

I thought you said your dad was...

I thought you were, like, super famous or something?

I thought you were, like, super famous or something?

I want 40. What?

I want to focus on the physically

I want to Instagram a video of your reaction.

I want you guys to have a few years

I want you guys to have a few years

I was holding it for Barry.

I was just explaining that this is really...

I was just stuck in your elevator of death

I was like, Ridiculous.

I will hunt you down!

I will pounce on you!

I will slice and dice you like spicy sushi roll!

I will... (GROANS)

I work for the United States government...

I worked my butt off

I would love it if we could just take our time because...

I'd do anything to fix this.

I'd, definitely would like to...

I'll be back in two minutes.

I'll distract him, you guys make a run for it.

I'll get him.

I'll knock him out of the way!

I'll meet you at the gate.

I'll tell you what you did.

I'm all powerful...

I'm all seeing...

I'm always happy to sign an autograph for a fan.

I'm an air marshal!

I'm begging you, Monkey Man!

I'm fooling everyone.

I'm going as fast as I can!

I'm going to have to ask you to take your meerkats home.

I'm going to Hollywood! I'm going to Hollywood!

I'm going to Hollywood! I'm going to Hollywood!

I'm going to Miami.

I'm gonna chillax!

I'm gonna have to bid you good night.

I'm gonna need to see what's in that backpack, please.

I'm gonna pay someone to have you stuffed.

I'm gonna turn you over to Homeland Security...

I'm in.

I'm like Cleopatra!

I'm looking for some chipmunks.

I'm not a fan.

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not leaving you guys.

I'm not moving.

I'm right at the window.

I'm sorry to have to do this...

I'm sorry, Samantha. I'm not.

I'm sorry, the what house?

I'm sorry! I just, I got so nervous.

I'm spiraling, aren't I?

I'm standing right here. I can hear what he's saying.

I'm starting to think I should go through cargo with Theo.

I'm supposed to be keeping an eye on you...

I'm sure you guys will find a way to start one.

I'm terrified.

I'm too tired.

I'm waiting on a guy that owes me 76 bucks.

I'm warning you.

I've always wanted a mom.

I've been looking to relax all day!

I've done just fine without him.

I've got a meeting with Homeland Security

I've heard your lame family motto, man.

If by temporary you mean, till death do they part...

If by trouble, you mean irresistible,

If Dave and my mom do get married...

If Dave and your mom end up together...

If Dave and your mom end up together...

If Dave didn't wanna get rid of us before,

If it were up to me, we'd be going home,

If this is grounded...

If you're not gonna feed us, I'm going to forage.

If, um, maybe you'd wanna...

Important things right now.

In a different city every night.

In a parking lot in the middle of nowhere!

In all my years as an air marshal.

In you guys than I am right now.

Inside voice.

Is being attacked by a trombone.

Is everybody ready to get their funk on?

Is exactly why we cannot end up back in the forest.

Is for you to take a step right over there...

Is gonna be checking into the Shelborne Hotel.

Is he okay? I don't know.

Is it a movie? First word.

Is that safe?

Is that what you guys think?

Is there a problem?

Is this Heaven?

Is too scary for you, I totally get it...

It even talks.

It has been a treat.

It says, I'm a dumb stupid head.

It should, and normally, it would.

It smells in here.

It sounds adorable.

It was freezing in cargo!

It was pretty crazy.

It wasn't so much me

It would have been rude to not order something.

It'll be fun.

It's a bunch of crap.

It's a hole in...

It's been the perfect day.

It's biology, it's what animals do.