Puss in Boots (2011) Edit

A gift for you, Mama.

A golden statue of the Virgin of Guadalupe.

A great... great lover.

A heist like this could set you up for life.

Adiós... Humpty Dumpty.

After all these years!

After all we went through...

After everything I put you through?

Ah! [groans]

Ah! It's the thin air!

All I thought about was the disappointment in my mama's eyes.

All I'm asking for, Puss, is a second chance.

All nine of them.

All right, cat. Give me them beans.

All we got is each other, you understand?

Almost there!

Always know which cow is yours.

And as the light of my path grew brighter...

And broke your crown, you have been talking crazy.

And don't even think about skimpin' on them baby muffins.

And got ourselves all them beautiful golden eggs...

And how did we get on that bridge in the first place?!

And how did we get on that bridge in the first place?!

And I have been running ever since.

And I would get that chance...

And I've studied this job my whole life. You know that.

And my name would become... legend!

And she will be out for blood

And tell me all you care about is the gold.

And the Ginger Hit Man. [chuckles]

And the Golden Goose.

And the people know that you are San Ricardo's greatest hero.

And they're laying on a hill, staring at the clouds,

And this is my chance.

And this is where you will stay... forever.

And two boots...

And what is that?

And you in mine.

And you sent this very attractive devil woman to interfere.

And you took my beans. [cackles]

And you'll never even know I was there.

And, as years passed, the quest for magic beans

And... you owe me.

Apology accepted!

Arrest them!

Attention! Attention, everyone!

Aw!

Be careful of the company you keep.

Be gone!

Because we were brothers, and brothers are supposed to look after each other...

Boo! Boo! Boo! [cackles]

Brilliant or what, huh?

Brothers forever.

But do not take it out on these people.

But I am not stealing anymore.

But it is good to see you, Puss.

But Jack and Jill do. They're on their way.

But nobody really knows because nobody's walked away from it alive.

But she is no ordinary thief.

But that was before I met you.

But then you became a hero and you picked this place over me.

But they took my claws.

But to most... I am Puss In Boots!

But we're partners.

Can you believe this, Puss?

Can you commit?

Can you feel me?

Can you imagine laying one of these? Ouch!

Catch me! [yells]

Cheers!

Chupacabra.

Coffee beans, lima beans... but no magic beans.

Comandante, please, I can explain!

Comandante! Uh, I can explain?

Come here, you.

Come in all sizes!

Come on in! It feels great!

Come on, Puss. Now!

Come on, sweetie.

Come on.

Come on. Look me in the eyes

Come with me, Mama Goose. I know where your baby is.

Consider this the final meeting of Bean Club.

Course'n, it wasn't my family's cow.

Diablo Gato.

Do not fight them, please.

Do not joke with me about magic beans!

Do not worry. I will protect you.

Don't screw it up.

Don't take the goose. Why?

Don't worry, I'll take care of it.

Don't you see? I'm here because...

Dreaming about the future.

Drop the weapon.

Egg me.

Excellent. [chuckles]

Fear me... if you dare.

For days, I bounced along...

Freeze!

Friskie Two Times.

From this day forth, it shall be known...

Gato, you are going back to jail if it's the last thing I do!

Gave me milk every morning.

Giant's castle...

Give it up for the legends of San Ricardo,

Give me that second chance and I'll help you pay back San Ricardo.

Go on.

Golden eggs. Oh!

Good leche.

Good, good. Come on, come on, come on.

Goodbye, Humpty.

Got it.

Got you!

Gotcha!

Grab as many as you can.

Gracias, Comandante.

Grows a vine to the Land of Giants,

Guards!

Guys, guys. It's a gold pooper. We're taking it!

Ha ha!

Ha ha!

Ha ha!

Ha ha!

Ha ha! Hmmph!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha! [laughs]

Ha! Ha!

Handsome?

Hang on!

Hang on!

Happiest day of my life was when he left.

He only drinks whole milk.

He saved the Comandante's mother!

He saved us from the giant goose!

He's about two feet tall, wears high heels.

He's no outlaw. He saved us!

He's not a cat. [chuckles nervously]

He's very handsome.

Hello!

Hello?

Hello? You gonna tell all the other kids

Help me up.

Here we are again, right, Puss?

Here we go. Give me a... [yelling] Puss!

Here, kitty, kitty! [laughs]

Here, look. We need to think bigger.

Here. [grunts] Look!

Here. I want you to plant them.

Hey, Puss. What do you think? Do I shave?

Hi, little plant.

Hide!

His boots are made of the finest Corinthian leather.

His sword is like lightning!

Hit it in the head with a guitar?

Hiyah!

Hiyah!

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hole! Right here.

Holy frijoles!

How about Puss?

How are we gonna get across?

How are we supposed to get these out of here?

How could you do this to me?!

How dare you do the Litter Box at me!

How dare you show your face to me.

How do I ride and shoot with a baby slung on my back?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh? Whoa.

Huh? Whoa.

Huh?!

Humpty Alexander Dumpty.

Humpty Alexander Dumpty.

Humpty and Puss! We did it!

Humpty and Puss...

Humpty, hurry!

Humpty, no!

Humpty, pick up the pace!

Humpty, you're not wearing underwear!

Humpty!

Humpty!

Humpty?

Humpty?

Humpty... I'm sorry I hurt you.

Humpty's plan better work.

I always knew that you were good inside.

I am but a humble gato in search of his next meal.

I am called Kitty Softpaws because I'll steal you blind

I am here because you made me realize

I am Puss In Boots!

I believe in you with all my heart.

I can forgive you, Humpty... if you help me now.

I can't get down.

I can't help it. Everything's rubbing and pinching!

I can't really explain it, but I just feel like I belong up there.

I cannot wait for us to get out of here.

I did it for you, Mama.

I did you a favor! We can finally get out of here!

I do not steal from churches.

I don't know what I am.

I don't know why they did it.

I don't know, maybe orphans,

I don't need any dead weight, you know, holding me down.

I don't need style advice from Mr. Dusty Boots.

I don't really have time for you.

I got greedy and desperate and I let you down.

I gotta go. Help me up the wall. Get me up the wall. Hurry! Hurry!

I had the magic beans in my grasp,

I hate this place.

I have to go. The soldiers are coming for me.

I have to save the town from the Great Terror!

I hope you can forgive me.

I just need to know one thing.

I know how to speak meow.

I know the real Humpty.

I know what happens if we don't take her, we got nothing.

I know what happens if we don't take her, we got nothing.

I know you have quite a reputation with the ladies,

I know you won't.

I know! I know, I never should've tried something without you.

I let myself down.

I let you down.

I like to play the games, too.

I lost my best friend.

I mean, flaws. That was what I meant, not claws.

I mean, it's fun and all, but, uh...

I mean, Rosa. [chuckles]

I need powder!

I never thought we would get to here.

I present to you... the Golden Goose of legend!

I regret the guitar.

I saved you!

I searched half my life for them. They do not exist.

I sense in you a kindred spirit, a...

I should crack you open for... [gasps]

I should have known.

I should make you into an egg salad sandwich!

I smell something familiar.

I spent a lot of time in prison preparing for this.

I think I'll call you Sparky.

I think we got our Bean Club back.

I told him not to take the goose, but all he wanted was his revenge!

I traded the family cow for them beans.

I used to share this cell with that smelly thing.

I was just a stray...

I will do this for my mother and for San Ricardo... not for you.

I will find you.

I will make you proud, Mama.

I will never forget you... Margherita.

I will not leave you behind this time, Humpty.

I will not let you go, Humpty.

I will respect your privacy.

I will see you again, Kitty Softpaws!

I, um... Once we're done with this magic bean business

I... I think it's too late.

I'd like to introduce a new boy joining us.

I'll get the mother to follow.

I'll tell you this, my friend.

I'll try.

I'm not a bird. I'm not even a food.

I'm not a person.

I'm not who you think I am. I'm all about the score.

I'm not.

I'm sorry, Mama.

I'm sorry, OK? How long are you gonna hold a grudge?

I'm sorry, Puss.

I'm sorry... we have no rooms.

I'm trying, Puss! I'm trying!

I've also been known as the... Furry Lover!

I've been casing the silversmith and it's perfect.

I've been collecting for months now.

I've made a mess out of everything.

If it is to be a dance fight,

If you could just come in a little closer.

If you're going to blow your top, you blow your horn instead, right?

Is it true a cat always lands on its feet?

It ain't over easy.

It all started a long time ago.

It is at times quite... painful.

It is good to have my brother back.

It is never too late to do the right thing.

It was a year in which the rain had not fallen.

It was some other family's family cow. That's why I got eight to ten.

It's a surprise party, and the surprise is on you.

It's because the air pressure in here is normal.

It's been seven years! That's like 35 cat years.

It's Boy Blue and his gang. I owe them some money.

It's bye bye San Ricardo and everything you ever cared about!

It's him. Puss In Boots.

It's my destiny, Puss.

It's OK, pequeño. You show with the face.

It's so beautiful, I feel like I belong here.

It's the monster that guards the Golden Goose.

It's the right thing to do.

Jack and Jill.

Jack and the Beanstalk, chapter 14, Giant Takes a Big Dirt Nap.

Just a fugitive from the law... forever running.

Just follow me and I will lead you to your baby.

Just look at her. Isn't she beautiful?

Just one of her golden eggs... could set me for life.

Just think of all the trouble we can get into.

Keep your eyes out for any strange cloud activity!

Kitty!

Kitty!

Kitty?

Kitty?

Kitty. Not you, too?

Ladies and gentlemen,

Legend has it that if you look at it, you'll turn to stone.

Let me buy you some leche! I am a lover, not a... fighter.

Let me just think for a second.

Let me show you something.

Let me show you what our friendship meant to me.

Let's be honest.

Let's go.

Let's, uh, get out of here before Mama shows up.

Listen, you just need to worry about your part.

Listen. A day... A day doesn't go by

Listen. I put a lot of work into my body. I look good, and I am not

Look, with Kitty's skill, your sword and my brain,

Looks like the cat's out of the bag.

Loved me.

Maldito huevo.

Mama Goose!

Mama! Listen to me. I can explain.

Maybe I scratched their curtains or played too rough with the hamster.

Maybe the magic rubbed off in your pocket?

Me and you.

Me and you.

Me?

Meow.

Mm hm, go on.

Mr. Friskie Two Times.

My brother.

My brother.

My friends call me Jack.

My home.

My honor.

My only friend. And I get it now.

Never alone, always together...

No hablo inglés.

No, cat. We have seen them.

No, I feel a... [coughs] hairball coming on.

No, no. Don't stop on my account.

No!

No!

No! It's not supposed to be this way!

No! No! No!

No! That is just a rumor spread by dogs!

No! They are the same boots I wore when you betrayed me.

No? What's your name?

No. [grunts]

No. Never again.

No. Puss, no more running.

Not again! No! I'm gonna yolk!

Not on top of each other. The magic is very delicate.

Now place the beans.

Now we're even! [yowls]

Now!

Now...

Oh, boy. This is awkward.

Oh, come on, Puss.

Oh, my!

Oh, no! Fly, little gosling, fly!

Oh, no.

Oh, no. You really don't have to tell me

Oh, the Golden Goose. Just one.

Oh, this is bad. This is bad.

Oh, wait... That is the cat!

Oh, when I find those magic beans, they'll grow a vine

Oh, yeah! They all work for me.

Oh, you are dangerous.

Oh, you can talk! Could you help me up?

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! Oof!

Oh! Watch out!

Oh.

Oh... My sweet darling.

Ohh. [chuckles]

Ohhh!

Ohhh!

OK, good. Very good. Now just stand back.

OK, here we go.

OK, I forgive you.

OK, I've got everything. We did it. Come on, let's go!

OK, let me just think for a second. All right... OK.

OK, time to suit up.

OK, yeah. Have fun with that!

OK.

OK.

OK. Give me a... [yelling] Puss!

OK. I promise this time, I will not let you down.

OK. Someone.

OK...

One belt.

One bottle of catnip?

One day, a really nice couple took me in.

One hat.

One leche coming up.

Only a cat with a death wish would steal the beans from Jack and Jill.

Open the door.

Our biological clocks are tickin', darlin'.

Our home? OK, yeah, I get it now.

Outlaw.

Ow!

Ow!

Partners?

Paws where we can see them!

Pequeño, help!

Perhaps you gentlemen can help me find a simple score?

Please do not let me down.

Please don't spin me. Do not spin me!

Please stop breaking my heart and face what you have done.

Please, you have shown enough.

Please. Stop bringing up the guitar.

Prove to me there is still a good egg in you.

Psst!

Puss In Boots, you're under arrest for the robbery of the San Ricardo Bank!

Puss In Boots!

Puss, come on, you of all people know that nobody's ever ripped off

Puss, save me!

Puss, you have to go, now.

Puss, you have to save the baby, or the mama will destroy San Ricardo.

Puss!

Puss! Help me. I can't get up!

Puss! You got any idea what they do to eggs in San Ricardo prison?

Put up your dukes.

Quiet, you!

Raoul. Look what the cat dragged in.

Ready.

Really?

Really. [chuckles] It is crazy.

Remember what Imelda says, Boy Blue:

Remember why we're here.

Revenge.

Run!

San Ricardo is in terrible danger! You must listen to me!

Save yourself.

Searching for a way to clear my name.

Second rule of Bean Club...

See, the mama's on her way, and when she gets here,

See? I told you I wouldn't let you down!

Seemed more and more like the dreams of a child.

Señor Puss... he is a hero!

Señorita, wait!

She took me into her heart and raised me as her own.

She's Kitty Softpaws.

She's mine now!

She's OK.

Shh! Hey. You gotta get it together. Come on!

Shh! Humpty!

Shh. Shh. Shh.

Show him the golden eggs.

Sí... I can commit.

Signal the egg!

Silencio.

Slower!

So here is the plan: You two get the golden eggs, I will fight the giant.

So how about you give us that goose!

So I won't make you choose.

So now you owe me two.

So what do you say?

So, come on... say something nice to it.

So... you're in?

Something?

Something...

Something... dangerous.

Sorry, egghead, we want more than just eggs.

Step aside.

Step into the carrier... quiet like.

Step right up! Get it hot!

Stop the coach! I think this is it!

Straight up into the clouds,

Surrounded by soldiers!

Thanks, Ginger.

That I believe in magic now? Is that what you're gonna do?

That is not true.

That there is something I care about more than gold.

That was me and you, Puss.

That was very impressive. Thanks!

That when we go our separate ways, we can go our separate ways...

That you are in town, we could split the reward.

That... is a strange cloud.

That... is a strange cloud.

That's a lot of heel for a guy, don't you think?

That's because they effervesce! Who knew? Ho ho!

That's me and you, Puss.

That's my boy!

The boys' orphanage has been donated silver candlesticks,

The egg betrayed me.

The eye thing that you're doing, that is really splendid.

The Furry Lover.

The giant's castle and lived to tell the tale.

The Golden Goose...

The murderous outlaws Jack and Jill have gotten their hands on... magic beans.

The only thing you'll find tonight is trouble... Puss In Boots.

The only wish I have is to repay an old debt.

The softest touch in Spain.

The two of us together.

The way you saw the world! The inventor! The dreamer!

The wind was big and the basket was small.

Then I will Tuesday Night Dance Fight you to the death!

There is one teeny, tiny, itty bitty problem.

There is one word for you, Kitty Softpaws: Me wow!

There, there. Sleepy, sleepy, big, fat piggy.

There's no giant to fight. The giant's been dead for years.

These are for you, my boy.

These people have done nothing to us.

They are thieves.

They do exist.

They say he has ten lives.

They would look very lovely in your home.

They wrote a song about it!

They're coming for me. Just get me over this wall.

They're just kids. [chuckles]

Third time this month, Imelda. Next time is jail time.

This is getting serious.

This is kind of a solo dream here.

This is our home.

This is the money of the people! This is all they have!

This is where you belong, outlaw.

This is your San Ricardo weather report.

This little adventure was about one thing.

This was a team effort. Humpty still has his claws...

This way!

Those beans are mine!

Those magic beans were my score!

Three, four, cha cha cha! One, two...

Throw a rock. It'll make you feel better.

Till I realized he stole my magic beans.

To being rich!

To find the magic beans.

Today we see that courage and bravery

Today, you faced the past with bravery and honor.

Together we can save San Ricardo!

Toot toot!

Turn around... slow.

Twenty three divided by cloud depth.

Uh, no. [chuckles nervously]

Uh, sorry. I think maybe I should go.

Uh...

Uh... I'm sorry. [chuckles]

Uh... This is crazy, but...

Um, we should maybe cut that down.

Until I came to rest at a home for lost children.

Very good.

Very well.

Wait a minute. This is the goose of legend.

Wait, Puss!

Wait, wait, wait! You had the beans? Who are you?

We are better than this.

We are brothers.

We are not partners and we are not friends.

We can steal a lot of golden eggs.

We don't know what happens if we take her.

We go up the beanstalk outlaws, and we come down legends.

We got red beans, green beans,

We got some fresh, hot gold here, people!

We got ten hungry piggies, there in the back.

We had a plan to get out of here,

We should get some rest.

We should give her some privacy.

We weren't born here. We're orphans!

We'd like a complimentary continental breakfast.

We'll raise it wild, like a squirrel or something.

We're all goners, thanks to that little stinky!

We've got a fighting chance here.

Wear them as a symbol of honor... and justice.

Well, I think one just opened up.

Well, it looks like the egg got what he wanted.

Well, let's find out.

Well, now you're finally gonna know what it feels like,

Well, perhaps if one of us were to tell the law

Well, well, well. Look what we have here, Jill.

What are you doing here, señor? Did you lose your ball of yarn?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? Oh, man, that's good.

What are you gonna do?

What happened between you and Humpty that was so bad?

What happened to that guy?

What is going on?

What? Are you embarrassed?

What's happening here?

When I don't think about what I lost.

When she comes back for her baby.

Where a terrible and a fearsome giant hoards his greatest treasure...

Whiskers?

Who asked you, Breakfast?

Whoa, whoa, wait. Hear me out. OK?

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa! [laughs]

Whoa! [shrieks]

Whoa.

Whoo hoo hoo!

Whoo hoo!

Whoo!

Why are you not using your claws?

Why are you not using your claws?

Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?

Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?

Will you put that away! This is our home.

Without me, you don't even know where to plant the beans, Puss.

Would you please just shut up! I'm on it!

Wow!

Wow!

Wrong boots.

Yah!

Yeah, yeah, baby! [grunts]

Yep. Sure is.

Yes, yes, I sent Kitty to bring you here.

Yes! [laughs]

You abandoned me when I needed you the most.

You already have, my Puss In Boots.

You and me, in and out, 50 seconds tops.

You are a curse on my life!

You are better than this!

You are better than this.

You are going to pay for this!

You are hiding from me?

You are not as good as they say.

You are not getting away, Puss In Boots!

You are what you have always been.

You can practice on them. Just pull over, feed them.

You cannot run forever,

You didn't tell me about Humpty.

You do not have to push me away anymore.

You do not want to make the cat angry!

You don't have to, Jill. I'll be the stay at home dad.

You don't know me, Puss.

You earned those boots.

You finally got that family you wanted, Jack.

You get some fancy boots and now you're too good for me?

You gotta look at the big picture.

You hit me in the head with a guitar?!

You hit me in the head with a guitar.

You just cost me a chance at getting the golden eggs, mi amigo.

You know, I read somewhere that plants have feelings.

You know, to trust someone and have them stab you in the back.

You left me cracked in pieces on a bridge,

You left me with nothing.

You looking for something?

You made the cat angry.

You mean your home.

You messed with our baby.

You might want to take a look at this.

You need me! And I need you.

You never knew it, Puss... but I was always there. [echoing]

You never know when you're gonna get lucky. You know what I mean?

You owed me one.

You saved my mother.

You should never have come back.

You snap me?

You snap me?!

You sound weird.

You stay focused.

You think this was all about getting the gold and clearing your name?

You want to survive? You need a plan.

You wanted to repay an old debt, Puss? Well, so did I.

You were in cahoots?!

You will always be in my heart.

You work for the egg!

You, you, you! You stop where you are!

You're better.

You're not stealing lollipops anymore, Humpty.

You're right! We have to be smarter about this.

You're sitting in Little Boy Blue's chair.

You're talking about Humpty?

Yow!

Zoltar!

[bellowing breaths] [Humpty gasping, muttering]

[bellows] [crowd gasps]

[blows raspberry] Huh?!

[bull bellows] [chickens clucking]

[bull snorts] Aah!

[cats yowling] [glass shatters]

[cheering] [all] Huh?

[clinking] Champagne.

[cooing] Oh!

[crowd screaming] Wait!

[distant shattering] [monstrous roar]

[explosion] Whoa, whoa!

[fireworks crackle] [distant cheering]

[fireworks whistle, explode] [celebratory howling]

[gasping] [dog yelps]

[gasps] [squeaks]

[gasps] [stops playing]

[gasps] Look at me, Puss! I'm flying!

[gasps] Mama...

[gasps] What else do you know?

[growls] [Imelda] ¡Pequeño! Wait.

[grunting] [yelling]

[grunts] [music quickens]

[grunts] [squealing]

[grunts] [whinnies]

[grunts] Did you hear that?

[guitar strumming] [rhythmic tapping]

[guitar twangs] [groans]

[gun blast] [yowls]

[gun blast] You think this is over? Ha!

[honking] [peeps]

[honking] No! Not that way!

[honks, bellows] Ha ha! [yells]

[honks] [peeps]

[honks] [peeps]

[horn blowing] [girl] Hey, egg boy!

[horse whinnies] [peeping]

[Humpty giggles] I think she likes you.

[Humpty] That really hurt! [Puss] ...and I was the skill.

[Jack] Little Hamhock's my favorite. You've got to hurry up.

[Jill continues indistinctly] [sighs]

[Jill snarling] Oh, my God!

[Jill] We're gonna start small. Look.

[Kitty gasps] [snorting]

[laughing] [peeps]

[laughs] [grunts]

[laughter] [Puss growls]

[man groans] [thuds]

[man screams] [bellows]

[man] Run! [screaming]

[man] Whoo hoo! [shrieks]

[meows] [chuckles]

[mewing] [music stops]

[mews] You don't say much, do you?

[monstrous roar] [gasping]

[panting] [suit squeaking]

[peeping] [crowd gasping, chattering]

[peeping] [grunting]

[peeping] [honking]

[peeping] [shrieks]

[peeps, coos] [Humpty sighs]

[peeps] [Puss] The Golden Goose.

[peeps] Oh, my God!

[peeps] What?!

[people screaming] [Jack chuckles]

[purring] [gasps]

[purrs] [giggles]

[Puss growls] Are those new boots?

[Puss yowls] [groans]

[Puss yowls] Chupacabra! Chupacabra!

[Puss] Hang on! [Kitty] Whoa!