Men in Black III (2012) Edit

A break in the time line.

A gift. It can protect you.

A shoving match breaks out.

A slice of apple pie with a nasty piece of cheddar.

A smart man figures out what victims have in common.

A smart man would.

A while back, I was assigned to keep tabs on a musician.

A word of advice, Agent J.

Access denied.

Access restricted.

According to you, I've done this before.

Actually, he's my old partner. He travelled back from the future...

Actually, Mr. Warhol, I gotta tell you, I love your work.

Agent J, would you mind keeping your voice down...

Agent K pronounced dead at scene. Awarded posthumous commendation...

Agent K.

Agent K...

Agent W, your cover is safe.

Agitation? Depression?

Alien unicorn. Last of its species.

All right, all right, go ahead, go ahead.

All right, all right.

All right, Griff, don't start flipping on me.

All right, I got it.

All right, I sort of...

All right, I'll see what I can do. I'll talk to X.

All right, I'm hanging up.

All right, listen. I haven't done anything wrong.

All right, sir, I was minding my own business.

All right, this is it.

All right, you slug.

All right, your head.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Arm gone, got it. Like a reset?

All the things that had to converge for the Mets to win the World Series.

All you have to do is deploy it.

Allow me most honorable benefit of serving you favourite noodles, K?

Almost forgot.

An individual of your...

And Bob here is a clear violation of Health Ordinance 32:

And he wanted me...

And I have written a hell of a speech for him.

And I need to get out of here. I cannot be with you.

And I was supposed to say, What do you expect?

And I'm paraphrasing.

And just because you see a black man driving a nice car...

And liftoff.

And now a few words from Agent K.

And now we will hear from our new chief, Agent O.

And we find ourselves in this pub, which is a bar, all right?

And you are much more...

And you say we don't talk?

And, really, I just want to say thank you.

Any human casualties?

Anybody!

Anything's possible.

Apparently not.

Apparently not. One washed ashore last week.

Aqua Velva aftershave. I didn't imagine that.

Archanan. Arc Net. You put up the Arc Net.

Archanans are extinct.

Are we missing something?

Are you experiencing headaches? Dizziness?

Armstrong and Aldrin are scheduled...

Arrest me.

As long as it doesn't have to do with the case. Just let her rip.

As soon as that happens, break that blue laser line...

Assumed to have returned to planet Boglodotia 20 light' years away.

Astronauts report it feels good. Power transfer is complete.

At this height, that should be...

Attention. Early warning system engaged.

Balance pitch and yaw with bursts on the centre stalk...

Because if there were...

Because of Boris.

Between 80 and 100 psi!

Bingo.

Blink. That's good.

Boglodite. Boris is a Boglodite, but they're extinct.

Boglodites were a rogue alien race...

Boglodites?

Boris is coming through that door...

Boris jumped back and killed him.

Boris the Animal was the only suspect...

Boris the Animal, Boglodite assassin.

Boris the Animal!

Boris the Animal!

Boris the Animal!

Boris the Animal!

Boris the Animal.

Boris the Animal.

Boris the Animal.

Boris, can you give me a hand?

Boris! You promised to take me with you!

But first, I want the pleasure of killing you.

But first, we gotta get high.

But he's not gonna talk to Men in Black scum like you.

But I need you to come out here now...

But I threw a brick through that window.

But in terms of the space time continuum...

But that depends.

But that was because of all those secrets...

But there was one guy who could help.

But where there is death...

But...

Can I help you?

Can I save him?

Can I...? I'm so sorry. I don't know what...

Can you promise, if I go first, you'll do better than that at my funeral?

Can't drive to Florida from Manhattan in five hours, chief.

Can't taste my fricking tongue, K.

Cape Canaveral, what happened?

Cape Canaveral.

Cape Canaveral. Apollo launch.

Catastrophic Earth attack imminent.

Check the composition of the fuel units and surface deposits.

Chilling.

Chocolate milk, sir?

Colonel, they had these.

Come on now! All right! Let's go...

Come on, I just cleaned the bathroom with this thing!

Come on, what about you, slick? In the future, you got yourself a girl?

Come on!

Computer, Agent K and Boris the Animal.

Cool for you. What do you need from me, man?

Corporal.

Damn it, it's not the tick?

Damn it, K! Are you trying to blow my cover?

Damn it!

Damn it!

Damn it! We had him!

Damn it. It's not the tick.

Damn right it's not. A boy needs a father.

Details.

Did he call in sick or anything?

Did you get him?

Didn't work.

Do I break the laser line or do I not break the laser line?

Do I know you?

Do not lose that time device...

Do not lose that time device...

Do you know...

Doing his own thing.

Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.

Don't badmouth your old man.

Don't know what you mean.

Don't nobody want your nasty ass noodles.

Don't put me in here, K!

Don't tell me he's your new partner.

Double A? Your partner.

Drink your coffee. We got work to do.

Dude, they should give you two black suits.

Dumb ass.

Earth people get Earth fish. Real Earth fish.

Eleven. Ten. Nine.

Every mistake I've ever made, just waiting to happen.

Every morning with his coffee...

Every stakeout, endless hours of cowboy music.

Exactly. And this is the type of problem it causes.

Exactly. I feel like a whole new man today.

Except I'd throw the ball and it'd just hit the wall...

Except in the future where I have to leave in two minutes...

Excuse me, Mr. Warhol, could we have a minute?

Excuse me? Clearance level senior agent, class one. J.

Excuse me. Excuse me, who is that? Who are you?

Fair to middling.

Far out, man!

Far out.

First of all, my name is J, okay?

Fly! Find your place in the world!

Follow me.

For such an ungainly species, they've thrived on Earth.

Found out the hard way.

Four weeks.

Get on.

Give me a sec.

Give us a minute, chief.

Glamourian? Right solar system, wrong planet.

Go ahead.

Going? How's it going? That depends. For me, personally, things are good.

Good afternoon.

Good boy.

Good day, gentlemen. Great day for America, isn't it?

Good man.

Good, that was a close one.

Got it.

Griffin, right?

Griffin.

Griffin. Where's Griffin at, K?

Guess I owe you some answers, hoss.

Have any specials?

Have these in the future?

He did his job.

He didn't say please.

He didn't smoke.

He figured it out, we busted him, we made time travel illegal...

He got away.

He has a taste for Spiky Bulba.

He has to be the...

He has to go to Cape Canaveral.

He is going to give the humans...

He killed my partner.

He must deploy the Arc Net as he did before.

He never asked me to his house to watch a game.

He protected the Earth from the Boglodites.

He protected the Earth from the Boglodites.

He went to go do something very special.

He will not know you were ever here.

He...

He...

He'll have what he always has after he reads the menu for 10 minutes...

He's been dead for over 40 years.

He's going to demonstrate an electro biomechanical...

He's gone. If Boris gets to him before we do, that's no bueno.

He's gotta be after the Archanan.

He's here?

He's in this British band, the Rolling Stones.

Here they are.

Here you go, sir. Just call down when you need it.

Here's the thing.

Hey, back up, back up.

Hey, Griffin! Griffin! Where's Griffin?

Hey, hey, Stop. Stop it.

Hey, it's his grandmother's suit.

Hey, look, funky '60s dude, we don't have a lot of time.

Hey, look, man, you can put your Jedi Knight on me all you want.

Hey, man, how old are you?

Hey, man? A little help here?

Hey, my name's K. What's your name?

Hey, slick.

Hey, what kind of work do you do?

Hey, what you guys wanna bust my balls for, huh?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Hey, do me a favour, all right?

Hey. No.

Hi, fellas.

His name is Boris.

His name's Griffin.

His wife cooked me dinner once. While it was not pleasant...

How about a little professional courtesy here?

How about I quit?

How are things going?

How are you, officers? What can I do you for?

How can I help you? We're having an amazing sale...

How did you get to be like you?

How did you know?

How do I know what I don't know?

How do we do that? Stop them?

How do you know about my father's watch?

How do you know my name?

How do you know that song?

How do you know that?

How long have you been craving chocolatised dairy products?

How will we find this guy?

How you live such a happy life?

How's it going?

How's your day been, Agent K?

I am not jumping off of this building!

I bet I know what went down with you and O.

I bet Schtaron likes that suit of yours.

I break the laser line?

I can never bear to watch this part.

I can promise you it will be longer than yours.

I can't listen to sitar music anymore.

I can't talk right now. I've got secret cases of my own I'm working on.

I decide what it is.

I did!

I didn't say thank you.

I didn't understand...

I don't ask questions I don't want to know the answer to.

I don't know if I don't know nothing.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know.

I don't know. Go wherever you went last time.

I don't know. It hasn't happened yet.

I don't like it. I hate going in blind. I'm gonna need my gun.

I don't want you to lose yours.

I doubt it.

I feel younger already.

I forgot to see this one coming.

I got 10 minutes to launch.

I got Griffin. Let's get out of here.

I got you..

I guess one every 40 years is okay.

I had to hide it from Boris, but if you find me again...

I hate to tear you away from your video game.

I have rights and I demand to see my lawyer...

I have to go now.

I haven't been here. I didn't tell you where I went?

I keep them in case!

I knew Roman.

I know where Boris is headed to next.

I know where he is.

I looked at this report. K put Boris away...

I lost my planet.

I mean, who is he to you?

I might have cooked him too long. Thought I'd walk him out.

I need bail.

I need cleanup and containment at Cosmic Lanes.

I need you to go get me some chocolate milk, all right?

I need you to trust me.

I need your help to do that.

I paid a lot of money for that luggage.

I played a game with my dad...

I prefer to do both.

I promised you the secrets of the universe. Nothing more.

I put him away a long time ago. It's the worst mistake I ever made.

I put my pants on.

I said I told you everything...

I see what you're saying.

I see why I recruited you.

I see you've brought me a treat, darling.

I stole that one. But not because I'm black.

I stole them both. Car from your wife...

I take the Chloropod.

I think I just saw a tooth in that thing. Or a claw. Or a hoof.

I think y'all might have fraternized a time or two.

I told the truth last time.

I told you, it still hasn't happened yet.

I tried to stop them, but if we stop them here, if we deny them Earth...

I used to play a game with my dad:

I wanna know who was driving.

I want to know when and where you sent him.

I was about to tell you to screw off.

I was about to tell you to screw off.

I was an agent for three years...

I was waiting for my girl, who, by the way...

I was waiting for my girl.

I win! I'm better than me!

I wish I could.

I won a stuffed bear once, but never one of these.

I won those at Coney Island on the ring toss.

I worked with Zed for 40 years. A hell of an agent.

I worked with Zed for over 40 years, and in all that time...

I'd kill you right now, if I didn't value my own life.

I'll be done with the car in a minute!

I'll have the strawberry rhubarb.

I'll just use my imagination.

I'll kill you both!

I'll pop your head off...

I'll take the kitchen.

I'll take the prisoners.

I'll take this one!

I'll take you to K.

I'll tell him this!

I'll wing something.

I'm a romantic like that.

I'm an agent...

I'm doing the truth face! You're missing it!

I'm going back in time to kill a man before he takes my arm.

I'm gonna go to Florida. You stay here.

I'm gonna go to the little Men's in Black room...

I'm gonna just miss your caramel brown skin.

I'm gonna kill both of you!

I'm gonna kill the both of youse!

I'm good, I'm good.

I'm just saying. It's, like, a lot cooler now.

I'm just saying. It's, like, a lot cooler now.

I'm just tired of carrying your stuff.

I'm looking for K.

I'm not badmouthing him. I just didn't really know him.

I'm not gonna relax because we're running out of time...

I'm not worried about that one. I'll kill the younger Boris...

I'm so glad this isn't one of the times we explode.

I'm sorry, is that chocolate milk?

I'm starting to understand why we don't talk.

I'm sure he was a great guy.

I'm sure.

I'm trying to protect you...

I've been trying!

I've got a planet to save.

If everything goes right the way we hope it does...

If Griffin's here for a game, he's either too early or too late.

If he had any secrets...

If things go wrong, not gonna have a chance to, either.

If we don't get him, there'll be two.

If we pull this off, fix things the way they were...

If you erase me...

If you got a problem you can't solve...

If you pose a threat to that rocket, you tell me now and do not lie to me.

If you survive, you gotta come back and tell me everything.

If you wanna save the world, stop that from happening.

If you want to keep that, I wouldn't.

If you're half the agent you say you are...

In 25 years, you'll recruit me...

In 25 years, you'll recruit me...

In the future, we ever do the Texas two step?

Inbound hostile warships entering solar system.

Is that a battery belt?

Is that Andy Warhol?

Is there any future where I save his life?

Is there anybody here who's not an alien?

Isn't that right, Miss O?

It gets pretty windy on the way down.

It gets up there, bounces around on the satellites and:

It has nothing to do with you. Mind your own business.

It might be time we do something stupid.

It wasn't the best time for your people.

It would be...

It'll ruin your figure.

It'll take a miracle, but if you pull this off...

It's 32 feet per second. Per second.

It's a cake.

It's a gigantic pain in the ass. But it has its moments.

It's a matchbook.

It's a rough time to be a Mets fan.

It's a shield.

It's above your pay grade.

It's always October...

It's been my privilege.

It's dysfunctional.

It's just Boris!

It's just Boris.

It's kind of my thing.

It's like with anything.

It's my last meal, I'm gonna splurge.

It's never been funny.

It's not right.

It's not son, it's not slick and it damn sure ain't no Cochise.

It's really...

It's something worse than the tick?

It's the man's eulogy. You have to show some feeling.

It's the surprise. To protect the Earth.

It's time to give you your things back...

It's transcendent.

It's what we do.

It's whirring and buzzing.

J was a friend.

J, everything you told me yesterday, you were right as rain.

James?

James? That's a nice name.

James...

Janis Joplin.

Jerry rocked Haight Ashbury like you wouldn't believe.

July 16th, 1969.

Junior Agent K apprehended and arrested...

Just a few...

Just a really big glass. Have you seen K?

Just being.

Just go, go, go!

Just passed the two minute mark...

Just say you hate me. Don't take it out on the car.

Just smart. Funny. A great smile.

Just today.

Just turn your damn phone off.

K got it for the Boglodites.

K imprisoned Boris. He put up the Arc Net.

K is the only hope in saving Earth.

K, come on. I got larvae to feed.

K, don't go in by yourself!

K, I call this one Low Hanging Fruit.

K, I need a space gun.

K, it's O. We have reports of several humans suffering from...

K, listen, I think we got off on the wrong foot, all right?

K, the crashed ship...

K, the killer...

K, we gotta drive.

K!

K!

K!

K!

K!

K!

K!

K! K!

K! Wait, no, I gotta go in with you!

K?

K?

K...

Keep gyro settings at zero gain.

Keep your mouth closed, keep your head down.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you will look right here.

Ladies, gentlemen, other life forms.

Last chance, who are you and what do you know?

Leave it at that.

Left. Left.

Let me enjoy this.

Let's agree to disagree.

Let's agree to disagree.

Let's agree to disagree.

Let's agree to disagree.

Let's agree to disagree.

Let's get it.

Let's get this bite guard in here.

Let's go get dumb ass pie.

Let's go, Mets! Let's go...

Let's go!

Let's go.

Let's hope the little squirt hasn't skipped town.

Let's rewrite history, shall we, K?

Let's see, mass of Earth and 30 something feet per minute...

Like this great weight has been lifted. I've had anger issues my entire life...

Listen, I got a dead Parlaxian.

Listen.

Location, Cape Canaveral.

Lonelier too. Since you're the last Boglodite standing.

Look out!

Look, I gotta ask you.

Look, I was...

Look, I'm sorry, man!

Look, if Boris turns out to be here, I'm gonna kill him...

Look, three months from now, your buddies down there...

Looks like some kind of cake.

Looks that way.

Loss of balance?

Lunar Max.

Make love, not war.

Man, I am getting too old for this.

Man, that is some next level stuff.

Man, what the hell happened to you?

Man, you look like you come from the planet...

Man...

May I have everyone's attention, please?

Maybe he's a noted athlete.

Me and O?

Meet you on the street.

Men in Black incident report, July, 1969.

MiB league champ, three years running.

Mick Jagger?

Mine, Roman's, the Parlaxians'.

Mommy, the president is drinking...

Mommy.

Most people.

Murder number one: Coney Island, 10:37 a.m. Roman the Fabulist.

Murder number two: The Factory.

Must be good, slick.

My dad gave it to me.

My daddy is a hero?

My man, for real?

My man, we don't have a lot of time. You really need to tell him something.

My partner.

Naught)'

Need to see the boss.

Negative possibilities are multiplying as we speak.

Neil Armstrong just reported back it's been a smooth countdown.

Neither of us wanted to leave.

Next shuttle to Afazumba...

No cleaning! No cleaning!

No human has been to the moon...

No questions. No answers.

No red buttons yet, slick.

No, any reality that gets the shield deployed...

No, don't break it!

No, I call everybody K.

No, I call ladies

No, I'm serious.

No, I'm very worried. This is important.

No, it's a clue.

No, no, no, space gun.

No, no, no. We're not doing jetpacks.

No, no, your other watch, the one your father gave you.

No, sir.

No, that's a stupid plan, because I sent Boris to July 16th.

No, we got you.

No?

No.

No. I mean, we don't really talk.

No. No, I mean, really high.

No... That's where Boris was locked up.

Nobody.

Not us. I'm gonna do this one alone.

Now give me back my head.

Now is not a good time. This is a be in.

Now Roman was a Byvoid, correct me if I'm wrong...

Now that I know what you look like...

Now there's a big part of me that's gone.

Now you're gonna drive off a cliff tonight because your GPS don't work.

Now, I want some pie, K. I want some pie.

Now, take these.

Now, where were we?

Now...

Oh, all right. You know what? Agent K...

Oh, and all of you, fantastic performances.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear. We're in this one.

Oh, God.

Oh, Griff.

Oh, I just thought of something. Even back then...

Oh, J, all the things that I should have said...

Oh, man, this coffee tastes like dirt.

Oh, no, I'm worried. Very worried.

Oh, no!

Oh, right.

Oh, sure, sure. You look. Very fresh.

Oh, wait. How come I remember K, but nobody else does?

Oh, we got company.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes, of course. In the box.

Okay, first of all, let's get a little bit of that bass out your voice.

Okay, future man, where to?

Okay, group hug on the way to doing what we're doing.

Okay, I had to. That dude's a freak.

Okay, now...

Okay, see, the prerequisite for a joke is that it be funny.

Okay, slick.

Okay, we got other stuff, like headphones, adapters or...

Okay, we're here.

Okay? See what I'm talking about? Don't lie to your kids.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. You wanna save your partner, word of advice:

Older gentleman, 110...

On behalf of my pathetic self and worthless children, you stay.

On July 15th, Boris killed an alien, Roman the Fabulist, at Coney Island.

One of the times?

Only what he needed to see.

Or it's the future where the pastrami sandwich I'm eating...

Out of what, K? Life?

Password?

Perfect. Did we talk on the phone last night?

Pie don't work unless you let it.

Pitch and yaw with short bursts on the centre stalk.

Please give your attention to my associate, Agent J.

Plus, it helps you look like a real time traveler, which is cool.

Popping out to Cleon Jones...

Press it.

Press the red button, goes into hyperdrive.

Prevent the Arc Net from being deployed.

Put up the Arc Net.

Rather hot in here. Mind if I open a window?

Regret.

Relax, Cochise. We'll find him.

Right.

Right.

Rings a bell.

Roman had this on his person when he was murdered.

Safe?

Save the chop socky bullshit for the tourists, Wu.

Schtaron.

Secondly, as long as Spikey Boy is running around, this is my business.

See, here's the problem.

See, I sense you're not embracing the concept here.

Seen him around?

Selling unlicensed extraterrestrial...

Seriously, I'm not even sure that's meat.

She storms off and bumps the guy with the stuffed mushrooms...

She's a fine lady, but you know the rules.

She's clean. Well, not clean, but you know...

Shield.

Ship has sailed, amigo.

Should have killed him.

Show us the tanks, Wu.

Shrimp and bok choy.

Silence goes good with a lot of things. Ever try or is talking how you breathe?

Sir, I'm gonna need you to stop talking.

Sir, if I may.

Sir, this man came here from...

Sixty three seconds.

Snatched his skirt off.

So are we partners? You tell me.

So happy to see you. Mr. Wu get you your regular table?

So how are you gonna really find him?

So I guess win or lose, this is it.

So I just need my things and I need to get back to her.

So I was in London and that's when I met O.

So if you don't like getting fish slapped, keep to our agreement.

So let's just stop for a second and talk.

So quit your conjugating.

So sorry. No speak English. You come back later, okay?

So that would be, I guess, about two feet off the ground.

So that's the story you believe.

So that's what enjoyment looks like on that face. I like that emotion.

So there's secrets out there the universe don't know about?

So this is how you see things? This is amazing.

So why this sudden interest in your partner's old exploits?

So why this sudden interest in your partner's old exploits?

So you two go way back, huh?

Some job you got there.

Some kind I've never seen before.

Someone forget his nap?

Something happened at a factory.

Something happened, K. What happened?

Something that ain't got nothing to do with nothing.

Something that changed him.

Sorry, darling. We did love the cake.

Sorry, Mr. Warhol. You like talking slow. We got stuff to do.

Sorry.

Sorry. I have something for you.

Sorry. Lost track of time.

Sort of a surly, Elvis thing happening with him. He smiles like this.

Sounds good.

Sounds like fun. Good work.

Stay away from him.

Stop arguing! You can avoid all of that if you just listen to me!

Stop, don't tell me. I don't want to know.

Such an infinitesimally small chance for success.

Sure thing, slick.

Table one hasn't ordered a thing. Table three...

Take the rest of the night off.

Take them to the brig.

Target vector, July 16...

Tell her that I'm filming this man eating a hamburger.

Tell me about it. Never gonna catch the Cubs.

Terribly sorry. X is frightfully upset about the whole Coney Island incident.

Thank you for handing me that brick, J.

Thank you, Agent K.

Thank you, Agent K. That was very moving.

Thank you, J.

Thank you, Miss O.

Thank you, O.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. What a game! Amazing! It's a real miracle!

Thankfully, your friend offers the antacids he carries...

Thanks for the heads up.

Thanks, man. Hey, will I ever see you again?

Thanks, Manny.

That ain't a finger hole...

That ain't gonna happen, partner.

That baseball...

That does not belong in a pita, it belongs in a casket.

That is an Earth fish.

That seems...

That sounds right ish.

That spark something?

That thing people do when they change their facial expression?

That was just mean.

That wasn't me, that was you!

That way, neither of them will even exist.

That, gentlemen, is a standard issue neuralyser.

That's a big ass phone.

That's a big blip.

That's a real bummer about your buddy.

That's a really good question. Did we go to Wu's last night?

That's all I got.

That's deep.

That's easy.

That's easy.

That's for lying to me.

That's for telling me the truth!

That's funny. That is exactly what K said.

That's funny. The Mets actually win it all this year.

That's just disrespectful.

That's just so Zed.

That's my partner!

That's not an eye exam, K. That's a big ass neuralyser!

That's not possible!

That's not possible.

That's not the lie you told me when you recruited me.

That's not what I'm asking.

That's what I'm here for.

That's why you get to wear the black suit.

The Arc Net! Give it to me!

The Archanan said, it's amazing! It's a miracle! I'll see you at the game.

The big one.

The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lies.

The Boglodites...

The box!

The device.

The game.

The gift?

The hell?

The moon launch.

The problem with a lie is once you start lying you put yourself...

The truth is the only path.

The truth?

The way down?

The whole Roswell circuit's all abuzz about it.

There are things out there you don't need to know.

There is no prison that can hold me.

There was one man, scumbag, Obadiah Price.

There was one man, scumbag, Obadiah Price.

There was something in the file about a factory.

There's a reason we don't have these in the future.

There's more in the trunk.

There's no other way.

There's no such thing as time travel.

There's not.

There's too many of us.

They built one especially for us, on the moon.

They can live in and visualize an infinite set...

They crash into the table. In which case, I gotta move my plate.

They have a revolutionary new pill.

They said they needed to put something on the rocket...

They were in last place every single season until they won it all.

Thirteen. Twelve.

Thirty seconds. I have to go.

This ain't a conjugal visit.

This elevator will take you to the top.

This game doesn't happen till October.

This is a restricted area!

This is a very confusing time...

This is gonna be interesting!

This is my new favourite moment in human history.

This is the one where Roman is dead...

This isn't the one where you get it!

This morning, man is about to launch himself on a trip to the moon...

This will save your world.

This...

Three trespassers. No IDs, but they've got weapons, sir.

Time jump.

To get the Arc Net outside the atmosphere...

Told you to trust the pie.

Total losers!

Tracking a killer. Boglodite.

Trust you? I don't think so. Something you're not telling me, slick?

Twenty nine.

Two is, like, my minimum.

Two possibilities. One is you've been bitten...

Unless this is the one where K forgot to leave a tip.

Unless this is the one where Robinson bad hops it past third, it's almost over.

Unless we're in the future...

Until then, they're all happening.

Until then, they're all happening.

Very good, thank you.

Very nice.

Very rare, very old.

Very traditional in China. You arrest me...

Wait, hold up.

Wait, no! No!

Wait!

Wait. Hey, if you do this, I am gonna hunt you down...

Warm beer and the worst food you ever ate.

Wasn't the third planet...?

Wasn't the whole truth, but it'll do for now.

We believe he's gonna hit here next, a Glamourian.

We believed he was on the planet to breed with Earth women.

We call it the neuralyser.

We got it, relax.

We got six hours to get to Florida.

We gotta stop this guy!

We had a deal!

We have an urgent matter to discuss with you...

We have the same pay grade.

We have this special little metal thingy...

We just played darts till the sun came up.

We think he's coming...

We timed the launch.

We'll see about that.

We'll take it from here.

We're from a secret government organization...

We're gonna be here for a while.

We're here...

We're in a situation.

We've been doing smart stuff:

We've been following clues, doing police work.

We've thought about that moment...

Well, I'm gonna just take a look around.

Well, let's see it.

Well, look at this. Power windows, power seats.

Well, maybe my report is gonna reflect some shit too, K.

Well, this is what happens.

Well, this is what we get. That's what happens.

Well, well, Boris the Animal has a visitor.

Were it not classified and way above his pay grade.

Were it not classified and way above his pay grade.

What a mess. Any casualties?

What am I, a schmuck?

What are you doing on my turf?

What are you talking about? Of course it's the whole truth.

What breed of fool do you have to be...

What did Griff show you back there?

What do we have here? Concealed weapon?

What do you do in your spare time, stretch?

What do you know and what do you don't?

What do you mean, alone?

What do you mean?

What do you mean? What miracle?

What happened to my arm?

What happens if Boris gets the Arc Net?

What have you got there? What is that?

What kind of partners sit in a car every day for 14 years and don't talk?

What the hell happened to you, man?

What up, K?

What up, pops?

What would go good with this would be silence.

What you did to Wu back there.

What you got there, hoss?

What you got?

What, it's a crime to wear a black suit?

What, you're feeling chatty all of a sudden?

What?

What?

What?

What? Because I called you K?

What? No, no, no. Come on.

What'll You Have For Your Last Meal.

What's he still doing here?

What's her name?

What's your plan?

When Boris' arm is taken, the past will be as it was. K will survive.

When I told the Finucian Zyglot about Zed's passing...

When that happens, go home. Leave.

When you see Boris tomorrow, K, kill him. Do not arrest him, kill him!

When you're being hunted by Boris the Animal...

When you're moving fast enough...

When's the last time you conjugated anything?

Where is my daddy?

Where is the Archanan?

Where was I?

Where you been, man? It was like an hour ago.

Where's Griffin?

Where's my dad?

Which means I'm the senior agent on this case. Now, I hate to pull rank...

Who is the Spiky Bulba for?

Who was that?

Who's it for?

Who's K?

Who's that guy?

Who's the dumb ass?

Whoa, Andy Warhol is one of us?

Whoa, enjoyment.

Whoa, whoa, K, K, K.

Whoever you are, give me five feet or I'll pluck you in your throat.

Why are you looking at me?

Why don't you come back...

Why? Was he innocent?

Why's that?

With my help...

World class serial killer out there and we're having pie.

Would you mind cutting this up for us? It's a special day.

Yeah, all right!

Yeah, got it. Stay away from K. Just kill Boris.

Yeah, he was weird.

Yeah, it'll be in your room, sir. Just go in.

Yeah, that's kind of my thing. I just... Some people like it.

Yeah, we can. The red button, standard issue in every MiB car.

Yeah, you and O.

Yeah.

Yep.

Yes, and it has a roof, but it's hidden.

Yes, my arm.

Yes, Roman the Fabulist.

Yes, she's Greek.

Yes, sir, it is.

Yes, sir!

Yes.

Yes. I did make you a promise.

Yes. Starting forward for the Detroit Darkies.

Yoko's here.

You all right?

You and your partner.

You can't win, Boris.

You coming?

You complete me.

You could do worse than this.

You did not walk into my...

You die there!

You do not want to be...

You don't have no balls.

You don't have to wait. Just talk.

You don't know it, K, but you're already dead.

You don't need me anymore.

You don't wanna run it by me?

You ever want to see more...

You forget about Boris or my report will reflect...

You go ahead. Ask me any question. Anything you want.

You got me.

You got some city miles on you.

You gotta fake my death, okay?

You gotta go!

You had my undivided attention.

You have a lot of information for a fella who doesn't know anything.

You have to find Jeffrey Price. He's Obadiah's son.

You haven't been trying?

You haven't changed very much. I see the arm I shot off is still shot off.

You hear me calling you?

You helped Boris the Animal time jump.

You hung up on me.

You know how I live such a happy life'?

You know how you're on a plane and you're asked to turn your phone off?

You know how your kid won the goldfish in that little baggie...

You know the most destructive force in the universe?

You know, I need a raise.

You know, I see a couple, I'm like, O K.

You know, something like:

You know, there's a really high possibility now...

You lose it, shot off by a human.

You lose something over here, Hondo?

You lose something over here, Hondo?

You mean in space? Well, how do you suppose we do that?

You men are no longer needed.

You messed with the wrong head!

You must really love this guy to do this.

You need to turn the electricity down on that damn thing.

You new?

You no hungry?

You out of your mind? I'm so out of ideas...

You pathetic waste of Boglodite flesh.

You ready, slick?

You said you had a gift.

You sit tight. I'll be fine.

You spend the next 40 years in prison, chained up like an animal.

You still have the Arc Net?

You take the Tarantabee.

You too? You too.

You were close, slick. It's not a factory, it's the Factory.

You were defeated! You let it get shot off!

You were in Lunar Max.

You'll either know...

You'll either know...

You're a good man.

You're distressing. Everything...

You're gonna get there first and be waiting?

You're gonna leave me hanging? Okay.

You're gonna lose.

You're gonna lose.

You're just in time!

You're late for a meeting with the Viagrans.

You're like, I ain't turning it off. Has nothing to do with a plane.

You're not going to Florida.

You're not gonna remember that.

You're not really recognizing my voicial intensity.

You're slipping, Griff.

You're welcome.

Your daddy is a hero.

Your granddaddy, heavyset man?

Your hook's a little off. Want me to clean her?

Your letters have been a soul nourishing...

Your obsession with chocolate milk indicates...

Your services are legendary. So says your father, Obadiah.

5K.

...1969. All right.

...firstborn! Colonel?

...from the same planetary grouping? A system in the Triangulum Galaxy...

...how are you? I'm good.

...Mets! Let's go, Met... Griffin?

...they'll scrub the launch. I didn't see anything.

A little bit. Yeah, you know what?

Agent K is dead. Well, I just talked to him last night.

Agents. I have no problem...

All right there, chief? Hell, yeah.

Be careful with the luggage. Absolutely, sir.

Cape Canaveral... Agent K...

Dog, the year. 1969.

Don't put that up to your head. Agent O.

Dumb ass. Say it again.

Glamouria? Glamouria.

Good luck, J! This planet's toast.

Griffin! Got him.

Gyro at zero gain. It is.

Happy? You're such a pill, Fred.

Hey, what's this? Probably drugs.

His head's a little... You gonna tell us...

How about that? Oh, cute.

How does that work? You got me.

How? When that ball is pitched to...

I need a psych team up here. Yes, ma'am.

I'll bet you it cost 6 grand. Yeah.

I'm hungry. You hungry? K.

It was ground this morning. This morning.

Keep it simple, slick. Thanks a lot.

Kill anyone who tries. Good plan.

Let me know what you'll say? Don't worry.

Like a charm. Sir, Delta Gate. We have a problem.

Lose your partner? Yeah.

My man, what's today? Tuesday.

No, when I'm fast enough! Sounds good!

No. Leave it alone.

Of? “July

Okay. Twenty seconds.

Okay. Very nice.

Okay. What's the plan? You're gonna send me...

Pie? Yeah.

Questions? No. Thank you for this, colonel.

Sir, are you...? Dismissed.

Still keep the key under the ashtray. Lucky guess.

Stray human caught in the net. Code 43 him and throw him back.

Sure thing. No, no, no.

That means you were there! I was where?

That means you were there! I was where?

That was your eulogy? He was a good man.

That work for everybody? Go do that.

The date? The 15th.

The what? The Arc Net. The defense system.

Want me to? I dare you.

Well, shit, let's go get him. No.

Well, there is. No.

Well, we're on the right track. Just the wrong train.

What are they? Jetpacks.

What are you gonna say tonight? Don't worry.

What do you expect? It was... Just ground this morning.

What? My granddaddy always said:

Where the hell have you been? Fishing.

Where'd you get the car? And the suit?

Where'd you get the car? And the suit?

Where's your partner? He went home.

Who are you? Look at you.

You all right? Yeah. Thank you for saving my life.

You are imagining. I'm not.

You are suspended for two weeks. Bullshit.

You know the rules of time jumps? Give me the short version.

... man!

...11,10...

...a class one senior agent such as myself...

...a whole lot bigger.

...about you upsets me.

...all you gotta do is jump.

...and 14 years after that, the guy you didn't let me kill today...

...and 14 years after that, the guy you didn't let me kill today...

...and asks about specials.

...and could die in horrible agony at any moment.

...and craggy and surly...

...and I'll go case the perimeter.

...and is about...

...and it's gonna glow really bright.

...and just tight. I was too...

...and led to the race's extinction.

...and make sure you...

...and November and March.

...and see how you like it.

...and telling me who you're looking for?

...and the gentleman at the bowling alley. So much death.

...and the Miracle Mets.

...and there's an invasion coming.

...and unleashes an invasion of Earth. We got about 19 hours to kill him...

...and we'll get to keep both...

...any of that!

...anywhere near this rocket when it takes off!

...are gonna be calling them the Amazing Mets...

...attempted by mankind?

...back to July 15th, 1969.

...because he wasn't there.

...because his dad couldn't find a football to give him for his birthday...

...because I'm starting to get a little pissed off.

...because the tanner's wife left him...

...because your nose already smells like that, but my nose doesn't.

...before going to bed.

...before he has a chance to offer me the antacids...

...before I realised all models were aliens.

...before the older one shows.

...before you press that small button on the side firmly.

...between 80 and 100 psi.

...Boris the Animal on July 16,1969, at Cape Canaveral, Florida.

...Boris the Animal.

...but I am instructing my junior agent...

...but now I see I was mad at myself. And my step mom.

...but this is a good one.

...by a Hovartian brain tick...

...called catch.

...causes me gastric distress.

...consume any planet in their path.

...Davey Johnson...

...does not mean it's stolen.

...due to the horsehide being improperly tanned...

...escapes from prison, jumps to the past...

...escapes from prison, jumps to the past...

...establishment and rip my head off!

...every day for the last 40 years.

...except I was too old...

...food stuffs.

...for a Puerto Rican golf pro...

...for action which prevented greater loss of human life.

...for an invasion.

...for the following murders that occurred on July 15, 1969

...from the fair and you didn't want it in your house...

...from the future. We're partners.

...from this morning was stolen from...

...has happened.

...he and I are having issues right now, but you shouldn't suffer for that.

...he could seriously change the course of history.

...he never invited me to dinner.

...he was my friend.

...he'd say, I tell you something, slick. This coffee tastes like dirt.

...his bat two micrometres too high...

...historic launch of Apollo 11...

...how to work this thing?

...I gotta set this thing...

...I know a top secret organization that could use a man like you.

...I saw the file, I looked at the report.

...I will tell you the only thing you ever need to know.

...I'll give it to you.

...I'm gonna end up getting out of here pretty quick...

...I'm guessing he spilled them.

...I'm painting cans and bananas for chrissakes.

...I've realised that...

...if you look right here...

...if you were Chinese.

...in 12...

...in a series of alien murders on Earth.

...in his right pocket, so good. I'll be good.

...in my life.

...in the countdown, and all is still go as we monitor our status board.

...in which case we're all dead.

...including implementation...

...intestinal worms of alien origin.

...is one where you tell the truth.

...is probably worried sick looking for me right now.

...is the real deal. Time jump gear.

...is what seems impossible but happens anyway.

...it helps to get out of your head. Pie.

...just drank his fourth cup...

...last night was a long...

...leaving in 22 minutes.

...maybe 111 years old.

...Mets!

...my milk.

...neural transmitting, zero synapse repositioner.

...New York was like a big ish city.

...next week, after the happening...

...O and I, are we...?

...of Chicopee, Massachusetts, was aerodynamically flawed...

...of duck sauce.

...of our ar...! Stop...

...of the Arc Net Defense System...

...of time space probabilities simultaneously.

...on batteries.

...or you will be stuck in 1969!

...or you will be stuck in 1969!

...or you won't.

...particular ethnic persuasion?

...partner.

...pimp slapping the shiznit out of Andy Warhol.

...please, I will not allow you to go to Florida.

...questions.

...received highest commendation for heroic action...

...regarding one of your party guests.

...right ish.

...she said something that I'm going to repeat.

...so I can attach a shield to the top of that rocket and save the world.

...so I'm not gonna have a chance to say a proper goodbye.

...so on the whole, I'd have to say not good. I am not good.

...so they cannot have built it there already.

...so you told your kid it ran away when you flushed it down the toilet?

...so, really, we need to go right now.

...staring at it!

...suit from your grandmother.

...that circle is gonna fill up with some sort of green time travel liquid...

...that consumed all planets in their path.

...that Griff gave us that we have to get on top of that rocket...

...that I might know some things you don't know.

...that polices and monitors alien activity on and off planet Earth.

...that you might be involved in a temporal fracture.

...that's a hate crime!

...that's you, to give me my gun right now. That's an order.

...the Arc Net.

...the future to protect me...

...the future where he made the lights...

...the invasion will be successful...

...the universe doesn't know about.

...then we'll go find those morons from Pox Ethera. Lunch is on me.

...there will always be death.

...they reach the next planet.

...throughout the universe and he is serving life on Lunar Max.

...thrown for the last out of game five, manufactured in '62 by Spalding...

...tight.

...to penetrate my site on the day of the most massive feat...

...to prevent an alien invasion.

...to set foot on the moon...

...to shoot from the door...

...to stay here and take care of his best pal.

...tonic.

...typist, if his parents didn't have an extra glass of wine that night...

...unconventionally handsome than your photos.

...unless we're in...

...walk funny for the rest...

...we can stop them. They'll starve before...

...we'll get the Arc Net, kill Agent K...

...when you're lying, show me...

...which protected the Earth from Boglodite invasion...

...who became a player...

...who dumps the tray on the sailors on leave.

...who would've been born Clara, a statistical...

...wiped out by Boglodites.

...with the expectation of landing there.

...with your thumb to complete the circuit.

...would have been aware of it, wouldn't he have?

...you get good at hiding things.

...you need to strap it to the escape rocket above the capsule!

...you see what information you can get from Agent W...

...you sick bastard!

...you'll be my new favourite moment...

...you'll make sure I don't get killed doing it.

...you've got a visitor.

...your friend was a little blip on the historical radar!