Krampus (2015) Edit

A chance and hope of my procuring, Ebenezer.

A chance and hope of my procuring, Ebenezer.

A couple shells still loaded, maybe a dozen in my pocket. Why?

A holiday roast is a surprise. Hemorrhoids are a surprise.

A letter to Santa.

A little recon mission? Thought you'd never ask.

A shepherd has got to protect his flock.

A shepherd has got to protect his flock.

A transportation system for Santa Claus.

A wish I would come to regret.

About time you got up. We've been waiting forever.

Accidents all over the freeways and nothing but crazy talk radio for six hours.

All I had to eat was Christmas fudge and candy canes.

All of you, you have to go. Do you understand?

All right, wait here.

All right!

All right.

All right. But don't you rat me out.

Also, I wish things weren't so hard for Uncle Howard and Aunt Linda.

Always be prepared, boy scout.

And a big, fat box of buckshot that I keep out in that truck.

And after you spent weeks decorating and cooking and cleaning,

And as he had for thousands of years,

And as he had for thousands of years,

And as soon as the weather breaks, we'll go find her.

And eventually, so did I.

And for the first time,

And go where?

And help little old ladies across the street. Am I right?

And here I thought I was the one losing it.

And I just wanna say I'm sorry for...

And if it's empty, we'll try the police station.

And it was beat to hell, but if it runs, I drive it back here,

And miracles

And she'd be storming the beaches at Normandy by sunrise. What's on your mind, T?

And that night,

And that... screw you. Dad does not wish we were boys.

And that's why she makes so much food that you can't pronounce.

And the Christmas spirit dies.

And the Christmas spirit dies.

And the glory of the Lord shone round about them.

And the hope that we could find joy again.

And then we bring help back here. For Beth and Howie.

And then we're going after 'em.

And they were so afraid. And the angel said unto them...

And was drop kicking him into the manger really the best way to handle this?

And we're sitting around listening to some twisted bedtime story?

And what you've given up... in here.

And who doesn't make a ham at Christmas? What are you now, a Jew?

And you leave out milk and cookies and do everything else right?

And...

And...

Are we gonna die?

Are you okay? Are you okay?

Ate tiny reindeer. Get it?

Aunt Dorothy, will you keep an eye on them?

Aunt Dorothy? Finish it.

Aunt Dorothy. It's so great to see you.

Baby, please don't do this. Listen, we can figure something else out. Honey.

Because that's what a family is, Max.

Because they are family, Beth. And it's only for a few days.

Ben started it and everybody knows it. We even have the whole thing on video.

Besides it being subzero out there,

Besides, she tricked me, okay?

Bet there's still time to drop that letter in the mailbox?

Beth, you up there?

Beth!

Beth!

Beth!

Beth!

Blah, blah, blah, bullshit, bullshit. Here we go... Maxi's wish list.

But at least she swings by every once in a while

But between this and all the crazy stuff we saw out here,

But can't we make him go away?

But I still believed in Santa,

But I was really hoping you could help out me and my family this Christmas.

But in the meantime, let's just try and stay calm.

But is this a war on Christmas, a war on over political correctness...

But Krampus didn't take me that night.

But no one noticed a giant blizzard hurtling towards us.

But our village had given up

But this Christmas was darker,

But this is my choice.

But we were no longer the loving family I remembered.

But what if you've been good, like, all year?

But, hey,

But, yeah, if you look closely...

Can it wait?

Can we talk with you and Howard for a minute?

Careful. Remember that your Aunt Sarah likes everything to be clean and perfect,

Christ on a stick. Would it kill you to shovel your walk?

Christ.

Come here, girl.

Come on, baby. Come on, baby.

Come on, buddy.

Come on, guys. I'm gonna teach you how to make peppermint schnapps.

Come on, she's not that bad. She's not!

Come on! Please!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Okay.

Come up here and I'll show you. I've been waiting for you guys.

Could be an elk or a goat.

Crap.

Dad, do you really believe in all that?

Dad! Dad!

Dad?

Dear Santa,

Derek!

Dialysis?

Did you ever spend any time on the field, Tommy?

Do you still really believe in Santa?

Do you think they took Howie 'cause of the time he painted the cats?

Do you think they took Howie 'cause of the time he painted the cats?

Don't open the door.

Don't suppose you got me a backup generator for Christmas, did you?

Don't worry. We'll find her, buddy.

Don't you look cute in your matching jackets.

Enough with the sappy crap. Let's open up the damn presents.

Even though you don't have a whole lot in common.

Ever since the storm.

Everybody... hold on to each other.

Everything.

Everything's fine. Beth's just with her boyfriend, that's all.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Evil Santa? Jesus H. Almighty.

Expect the first when the bell tolls 1:00.

For the little kids.

For your sake, just... stay the hell out of my kitchen.

Friends, family,

Frostbite took care of his pain but not his hunger.

Get 'em, Rosie.

Get anything?

Get it off me!

Girls! Make some room for your dad!

Give me back my family!

Global warming, my ass.

Go get 'em, girl.

Go, go, go! Keep moving.

Go!

Go! Go! Get behind me. Go.

Go! Now! Go!

Goddamn it.

Good point.

Good.

Got it?

Got to be kidding me!

Got to die sometime. Might as well enjoy it while we can.

Great.

Hang on, Howie!

He and his helpers.

He did a really good job of reattaching it.

He even told the first graders that Santa was just a cheap marketing ploy

He left me as a reminder

He left me as a reminder of what happens

He? Who... Who's he?

Hear what happened to Santa?

Heard it on the news. His sleigh crashed in the rockies.

Hello?

Help me!

Help me!

Help me!

Help! Help! Help!

Hey, Dad.

Hey, honey. I think this warhead's armed.

Hey, Howard. Do you think your Hummer could get through this mess?

Hey, Howie.

Hey, Roger, what's up?

Hey, Tommy. I...

Hey! Asshole!

Hey! Give me back my kids, you... fudger!

Hey. No, no.

Honey, are you okay? Are you hurt? Hon?

Honey, I just got my ass kicked by a bunch of Christmas cookies,

Honey, I'll be right back. I promise. Just lock the...

Honey, we said no gun talk at the dinner table.

Honey, who is that?

How come rich people get all the free shit?

How come?

How's everybody else doing?

Howard, how much ammo do you have?

Howard, let me help you with that.

Howard, no!

Howard, stay here.

Howard, that's enough.

Howard, that's Jordan.

Howard, what are you doing? We've got four other kids here to protect.

Howard!

Howard.

Howard.

Howard. Howard.

Howie!

Howie!

Hurry.

I can't believe you're afraid to come up here by yourself.

I can't imagine life without her.

I come tonight to warn you that you will be visited by three spirits.

I come tonight to warn you that you will be visited by three spirits.

I could have broken a hip out there.

I could only listen as they dragged my family

I didn't wish for a miracle.

I don't care how long it takes, Tom. We have to keep looking.

I don't even know how to drive a stick. We have a hybrid!

I don't get it. Every year it gets worse.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know, honey. Democrats, probably.

I don't know, Jordan.

I don't know. Mom, what are you talking about?

I don't know. She never wanted to talk about it.

I don't think that's a good idea.

I fell asleep, and they got our boy. It's all my fault.

I just got my ass kicked by a bunch of Christmas cookies,

I just thought you guys might like a break from macaroni and cheese with hot dogs.

I just wanna say thanks for... you know,

I just wanted Christmas to be like it used to be, but forget it. I hate Christmas!

I just wanted Christmas to be like it used to be.

I just wanted Christmas to be like it used to be.

I know I haven't been great this year, and I'm sorry for that,

I know I'm going out there to find Beth. I have to.

I know they get upset a lot, with Dad away from home so much.

I like snowflakes, but I like my plan a lot better.

I love you. I love you, buddy.

I might just waddle in and start bitching and moaning

I must tell you something.

I started, but... I don't know what to ask for this year.

I take back my wish!

I take it all back!

I think all this might be my fault.

I think it's panicking, trying to get outside.

I think our best bet is to stay put.

I think they really just miss each other.

I thought we were just dropping off gifts, and she came to the door with a suitcase.

I tried to help them to believe again,

I want to, Max.

I want you to get in there. You stay here. You don't move.

I wish me and Beth could hang out like we used to.

I wished for them to go away.

I would just be calmer if I knew how we were gonna survive Christmas with 12 people

I'll explain everything, but right now everybody just needs to stay calm

I'll say it when she gets back if dessert's good.

I'll see you in hell.

I'm getting Howie Junior into game shape.

I'm more worried about when they come back. We need to make a break for it.

I'm sorry.

I'm starting to like you. I am.

I've hunted a lot of game in my day.

I've texted Derek, like, nine times and he still hasn't written back.

In magic,

In the darkness of a howling blizzard,

In the northern territories, in Alaska, Canada.

Including Rudolph.

Instead it was a much darker,

Into the underworld,

Is that a snowplow?

Isn't that fun?

It started with the wind.

It was.

It's a good story.

It's already dark out and Beth isn't back yet.

It's Christmas. It's Christmas. It's Christmas.

It's getting late.

It's going to be fine.

It's him.

It's in the kitchen. Help yourself.

It's Linda's.

It's not my fault Aunt Dorothy clogged up the crapper.

It's not so bad. Just keep icing it.

It's not starting. It's not starting. Why isn't it starting? Come on.

It's not what you do. It's what you believe.

It's okay. I got you.

It's okay. Mama's here. Mama's here. There you go.

It's probably nothing, but I thought we'd go pick her up,

It's Roger.

It's the blizzard, honey. Nothing's working right now.

It's the weirdest thing. There's no cars, no people, not even a salt truck.

Jiminy Christmas. What happened out there?

Jiminy Christmas. What happened out there?

Jordan, I told you to bring her inside.

Jordan, Stevie, why don't you tell your Aunt Sarah about your presidential fitness award?

Jordan!

Jordan! Stevie!

Jordan?

Just had a bad dream, I guess.

Just set that up wherever you want, T.

Keep going. Keep going. God. Get in. I want you to get up in there.

Keep moving!

Kids, why don't you go into the kitchen and get something to eat now.

Knock it off! What about the kids? What are we gonna tell them?

Knowing that I would be next.

Krampus came not to reward, but to punish.

Krampus came not to reward, but to punish.

Less cheerful.

Let's get cozy on the couch. Go get your sister. Come on, baby. Come on.

Let's get Howard and Linda. I have an idea.

Let's go.

Linda, move it, move it. We don't have to keep the traffic jam going.

Linda!

Linda.

Listen, why don't we just leave? Right?

Listen.

Looks great, Mom.

Looks like a gas line blew.

Looks like Chrissy's really enjoying my gravlax.

Looks like Martha Stewart threw up in here.

Looks more like the opposite.

Love you. One hour.

Lucinda!

Lucinda? I could point her due east, hit the gas

Macaroni and cheese and hot dogs. Oh, Jesus.

Makes everything nice.

Max, come on. Time for bed.

Max, get the ammo.

Max, get the first aid kit! Sarah, lock the door!

Max, I told you to get Omi out of the...

Max, stop.

Max, we got to go. Max, we got to go. Max.

Max!

Max! Max! No! No...

Max. Max, come, come, come.

Maybe it makes us work a little harder to find what we do have in common, you know.

Maybe it's time for dessert?

Me too.

Merry Christmas, girls. Come on in.

Merry Christmas, Max.

Merry Christmas.

Mom, Dad.

Mom, it got Jordan. It was gonna get me next.

Mom, open the door! Mom!

Mom, you open this door now!

Mom!

Mom!

Mom! We have to go. Now!

Mom?

Mom. Hey, Mom, listen.

Mom. Mom, will you please go into the kitchen and help with the kids?

Must be negative 20 out here.

Nein.

No, actually, I didn't have time in my younger years. I was in training mostly.

No, but at least you could have warned me when one of your mistakes

No, no, no!

No, no, no. It was actually quite a bit of... survival training.

No, no.

No, shut the door! Inside! Shut it!

No!

No! Let me go!

No! No!

No! No! Please!

No.

No.

No. No, babies, no.

No. You go ahead and catch some winks with your family.

Not here.

Not mine. Must be from the boys in Brown.

Not to give,

Not to give, but to take.

Nothing. It's just a scratch.

Now, Eagle Scouts, kids, that's where you weave baskets

Of what happens when hope is lost,

Oh, come on.

Oh, geez.

Oh, God, I miss us.

Oh, God!

Oh, hey, there he is. Hey, kiddo.

Oh, I know. I just... I didn't want it ruined.

Oh, lay off of him. Kid deserves a prize just for telling the truth.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, no, really, Max?

Okay, that was not my fault. I was under the influence.

Okay, who wants crème brûlée?

Okay, you kind of got me there.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Okay, already. Come on, Linda. Let's do this. You're gonna help me?

Okay. One hour.

Okay. Well, mine's delicious.

Omi, no!

Omi, that's beautiful.

Omi!

Omi!

Omi!

Omi?

Omi.

Omi's been acting different.

On a cold winter night, much like this.

One of us should probably stay up and keep watch.

One singular moment.

Or...

People have escaped from Alcatraz before, and I'm only four blocks away.

People you try to be friends with

Please go and get Omi out of the fireplace before she burns the whole house down.

Please!

Please.

Plowed road, somewhere safe for the kids.

Probably a bear trap under the snow or something.

Ready?

Remember we used to fight over who got to place her?

Rosie?

Rosie.

Sarah! Hold on, Sarah!

Saving my ass back there.

Screw that.

See?

See?

See? A little sugar and a little spice...

See? Let them out of your sight for one second, and boom, shotgun wedding.

Seriously, what are we gonna do?

Shattered both his legs.

She is a goddamn nightmare. What were you thinking?

She says hot chocolate makes everything better.

She says not to go.

She says we're fucked.

She sure does.

She wants to face him. She's trying to help.

She wasn't at Derek's, but that doesn't mean anything. She may have found somewhere safe.

She'll be fine.

She'll be yammering about a rabid easter bunny come spring.

Shoot it, Tom! Shoot it! For God's sake, shoot it!

So everyone's a little on edge.

So maybe you can lend them a hand the rest of the year too.

So trust me when I say I can take it!

So we only have to survive another... three days.

So what kind of godforsaken concoction are you whipping up now?

So, to survive, he had to slaughter and eat his reindeer.

So, what did you ask Santa for this year?

So, what's for dinner?

So, where's the nog? I need to get merry.

Someone's tearing through your fancy ass neighborhood picking everybody off.

Sorry. Wasn't there another...

Stevie, sweetheart, it's okay. It's okay. Come on.

Stevie!

Stevie!

Stevie?

Stevie? Jordan? What are you doing?

Stevie. Baby.

Stevie. I'm coming, baby.

Stuck in a house with no hot water, no heat and no electricity.

Surprise! Please don't be mad.

Take a quick swing around town, see what's going on out there.

Take me instead.

Take me. What are you doing? Take me! No!

Takes a lot of work to make our family look more awesome than it actually is, you know?

Takes after her Mom.

Thank you, honey. Thank you. Oh, my goodness.

Thank you, Jacob.

Thank you.

Thanks for making pancakes.

Thanks, honey. Are you okay?

That is not normal.

That it's too dangerous, and that we should wait until the storm's over.

That's a good idea. I'll go first.

That's from me and the girls. I had to reattach the foot.

That's my boy!

That's...

The glass is punched in.

The mall doubles as an emergency shelter.

The sacrifice of giving.

The shadow of Saint Nicholas.

The storm probably knocked out the radio stations too.

The whole truck smells like shit.

Then everyone piles in the car and follows while I clear a path in front of us.

Then we keep driving till we see lights or people,

There's a snowman in our yard.

They too had given up.

They were just here. I think they went to the bathroom.

They're just a little cranky 'cause the Steelers lost, so...

They're why some people shouldn't be allowed to breed!

Thinking you're such a spineless dick all these years.

This dog didn't keep you guys up? She likes to bark at night.

This family needs a little gun talk, whether it's at the dinner table or anywhere else.

This just doesn't make any sense.

This time of year, we refer to reindeer as

Thomas. Thomas.

Those are hooves. Big ones too.

Thought you said you weren't working over Christmas.

To all of you.

Tom, what's she saying?

Tommy, help me get the baby and the rest of the girl crap out.

Tommy!

Tommy!

Tonight we're making a Japanese snowflake tree or some crap.

Twisted fairy tale horseshit!

Uncle Howard?

Useless turd.

Very enticing.

Video games?

Wait up!

Wait. Mom, aren't we gonna watch Charlie Brown?

Was that the chance and hope that you mentioned, Jacob?

Was that the chance and hope that you mentioned, Jacob?

We brought you a little taste of home, though, didn't we?

We can all pile in the truck and we'll just see as far as we can get and...

We can't go anywhere. It's too dangerous. You got it?

We don't have bears here.

We got to find Beth.

We got to get in there. We got to get in there and get her out.

We keep the fire hot.

We know you still believe in the big, fat creeper.

We need you. Oh, Maxi pad, that's so sweet.

We should have gone to my brother's.

We thought the sugarplum fairies may have gotten you.

We'll find her, I promise.

Well, a shepherd's got to protect his flock.

Well, as soon as the power's back,

Well, how about we go to your trailer for Christmas next year?

Well, I hate to sound harsh, but every kid has to learn the truth someday.

Well, I'm not sharing my room with girls who pee standing up.

Well, it's Beth. She went to her boyfriend's earlier and she hasn't come back yet.

Well, the only survival training I need is my old smoke pole

Well, we boarded everything up.

Well... thank you. It looks...

Wha... Stevie? Stevie?

What are we dealing with? What did you see up there?

What are we gonna do now?

What are you doing? I said, take me.

What are you talking about? Tom and Howard know what they're doing. They're fine.

What could that possibly be?

What did you see up there?

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

What I wouldn't give for a little Bing Crosby right about now.

What is going on? Sarah, what's going on?

What the hell is this?

What was I supposed to do, tell her she has to spend Christmas by herself?

What were you thinking, Max? That kid was twice your size.

What were you training for? Army? Marines?

What, you give the Butler the night off, did you?

What?

What?

What?

What? What's wrong?

What... unholy thing was that?

What's that?

What's up, buddy? Are you okay?

When belief is forgotten

When hope is lost...

When life is coming at you with his pants down.

When they took Howie...

When you get back, I want you to spend some girl time with Jordan and Stevie.

Where are they? Where did they go?

Where did they go?

Where do you think my girls get it from?

Where do you want this stuff, Tom? Just anywhere?

Where have you been? Everyone's freaking out.

Where's the baby? Honey, where's your sister?

Who needs this much cheese?

Who?

Whoever did this is a demented son of a bitch.

Whoever the hell's messing with us took my boy and your daughter,

Why me? I never liked kids, even when I was one.

With pleasure.

Won't the battery die?

Yeah, but Ben Kuklinski is always ragging on Christmas.

Yeah, I just...

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Yeah, it's under the tree next to your ties and underwear.

Yeah, my cousins are crawling out of the shallow end of the gene pool,

Yeah, no kidding. Hey, these too?

Yeah, terrorists. Maybe traded their suicide vests for rabid snow dogs?

Yeah, well, you know...

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. And even if she wasn't, the streets are totally screwed.

Yeah. It's a ghost town out there. Roads are a nightmare.

Yeah. You fought dirty. I think I still have the scars.

You believe that story, right?

You call that a reversal? Come on, Jordy, plant your feet!

You can barely see across the street, but it doesn't look like it's just us.

You damn right it's enough.

You don't wanna know, sweetheart.

You had Mom's angel this whole time?

You have to go. You have to go.

You have yet the chance and hope of escaping my fate.

You just don't wanna tell us what's going on here!

You know how this fancy food clogs my pipes.

You know what I'm saying?

You know what? After what you pulled, you can do that alone. And quick.

You know what? Let's have a campout, okay? We'll watch a movie. Yeah?

You know, cranky, bored, sick of the snow.

You know, Linda and I, we butt heads, but...

You know, reindeer are actually a sustainable food source

You know, they're leaving right after Christmas,

You might have noticed that I don't have tons of friends.

You packed guns on Christmas.

You saved everything.

You sure about that?

You want down?

You're gonna be okay.

You're gonna write an apology to the rest of your class for ruining the recital.

You're so stinky. Okay, I'm gonna go change her. Let's go this way.

Your cousins get here any minute. Yeah, Roger?

Your guess is as good as mine.

after Max's noodle incident. After his what?

All right. Merry Christmas.

All the more reason to worry. Hey, hon, relax. Just for once, okay?

And each other. 'Tis the season.

and stay inside! And get away from the windows!

And you just let them go? Was there another option?

Are they? Mom?

Are you okay? Honey? Enough. Enough.

Are you sure? Yeah.

Aunt Dorothy, please. Well, you ought to know.

Bear! What?

Beer it is. Phone's dead too.

Beth should be home by now. She's fine. She's at Derek's.

Beth! Quiet, Tommy. I don't like this.

Beth! Tommy!

Beth? Okay.

But I think I'm stuck here. Come on.

But why? Because.

Child? Chrissy! Darn it!

Come on, Howard. Stevie, Jordan. All right, all right, that's enough.

Come on, Max, please. I'm trying.

Daddy, don't go! Tommy, don't! Don't, Tommy!

Do you mind? Thank you. Let's make some memories?

Do you think he's dead? I don't know.

Don't worry about it. Yeah, we brought Rosie.

Everybody into the kitchen right now, Max. Come on. Let's go. Girls, come on.

For what, Tom? The snowplow. It's our only shot.

Get it off me! Dad!

Give it back! Stop, Max.

Gosh. I'm so glad you guys could make it. Oh, you have no idea.

Have you told Max yet? No. Not yet.

Hey, guys, take it easy. They're just playing, Tommy.

Hey, Maxi pad. Training batting gloves.

Hey, Stevie? Yeah.

Hey, you guys. Oh, God.

Hey! Girls!

Hey! Hey!

How did you... 'cause I'm old enough to know

How much did you hear? Enough.

Howard, where's Chrissy? I don't know!

Howard! What?

Howard! You bitch!

Howard. What?

Howie! Dad! Dad!

Human shit. For the last time, that was their dog!

Hurry, hurry. Get your gloves on. Put your hood up.

I can walk over, check with the Turners. The Turners are in Hawaii.

I don't even care if I die trying. I know. Listen.

I don't know. The truth? Sure. Which version of it?

I guess I should have gotten your bird. You could just say something nice.

I need you to go. No.

I'll get it! Fine.

I'm getting Howie back. Howard!

If you could just do me a favor. Tell him about Santa.

invented to sell Pepsi. Coke.

is gonna become my problem. You think everything I do is a mistake.

it just doesn't add up. It could be terrorists, right?

It looks bigger in here. Toy car?

It was the Eagle Scouts. Eagle Scouts.

It's a Christmas cluster eff over here. Beth, help me hang this.

It's damn near frostbite in under four minutes! Honey, keep your voice down.

It's delicious, honey. It's a little dry.

It's my fault. No.

Jordan. Stevie?

Just say something nice about dessert. Hey. Maxi pad.

Let's go! What was that thing?

Like Uncle Howard? Didn't wanna name names.

Max, are you okay? Yeah.

Merry Christmas, mother... There he is! Charge!

Merry Christmas! Hey, sis. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. Sign here. Yeah.

Mom, there's something weird outside. I am calm.

Mom! Call 911!

Mom! What, Max?

My God. It looks like something bit you. Nope.

Night, Howard. Good night.

No! Howard! Howard, the baby!

Not my kid. Come on, girls.

Oh, my God! Hold on, Howard!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God is right.

Oh, thank you. This is great.

Oh, Tom, let me take that. I'm sorry.

Okay? You understand? Mom! Mom, please!

Okay. Go to mama.

Plant your feet. All right. Right.

Please, listen. English. I knew it.

Please. Oh, all right.

Probably just squirrels. In this weather?

Sarah, you know... No, Aunt Dorothy, please.

Shut the door! Where's Beth? We heard gunshots!

Shut up, Beth! I don't care who started it, Max.

So she's still out there. Yes. And we will find her. I promise.

so trust me when I say I can take it! ...some people shouldn't be allowed to breed!

Squirrels. Right. Probably playing with their nuts.

Stevie, stop. That's enough. Wait, you're up first, Beth.

Stevie, sweetheart. Thanks, Mom.

Sure, Howard. Christmas on a pig farm. Jesus was born in a barn!

Thanks, Tommy. Sorry about that.

That's a long fucking drive. Thank you, guys.

That's my boy! It sure is.

That's okay. That's okay. Lord Almighty.

That's what a family is, Max. Nothing bad's gonna happen on Christmas.

That's... that's great, Max. But who built it?

The snowplow? The keys were in the ignition,

The truck's gone. Torn to pieces. What?

The window. Dad!

This is how I figure things out. Howard, you don't wanna do this.

Tom, God! Sorry. Sorry.

Tom. No, I got this. Hey, Mom...

We have to pair up and take turns... We can't go back out there! You see this?

We left the door open. Sorry about that. We're such a mess, honestly.

Well, carry something! Help me with the bags.

Well, merry Christmas to you too, Max. Merry Christmas, son.

Well, someone's got to. Here, let me see.

Well... Sorry. Look out. Look out.

What is it? Hey, look at this?

What? They got more stuff.

What's she saying? I'm not sure.

What's this all about? It's nothing. Just...

Will you two knock it off? Howie, stop ringing the doorbell!

Yeah, okay. Well, you were wrong.

Yeah. I thought you knew. No.

Yep. All righty.

You believe this senile horseshit? I don't know.

You don't have a cat, do you? It's fine. It's fine, right? It's fine.

You know what I mean. But not why you care.

You know what I mean. Thanks.

You should get some sleep, pal. How?

You try AM? Yeah, I tried everything.

You're all alive. Barely.

Your mom popping Xanax again? Like candy.

Your words, Mom, not mine! I never said that!