Shrek Forever After (2010) Edit

A clear, crisp, delicious glass...

A day some meddling oaf stuck his nose where it didn't belong

A day when you were an innocent, mindless little baby.

A day you had the flu? A day you lost a pet?

A donkey and an ogre friends?

A gift basket?

A liquid libation to ease that frustration?

A mud facial! Oh, and here's one...

A professional bounty hunter?

A real ogre?

A wife who loves you,

About how you're her true love and you came from an alternate universe.

According to fairy tale law, if not fully satisfied,

After.

All right, but this is the last time.

All right, I knew it. So what do you want?

All right, let's get those axes sharpened and weapons packed!

All right, Piggies, be gone!

All right, Rumpel, what's going on? What have you done?

All right, that's enough.

All right!

All right!

All right! Finally!

All that matters is that they're free...

An apologetic hug?

An ogre only roars when he's angry.

An ogre! Please, Mr. Ogre, please don't eat me!

And a quick kiss goodbye.

And another thing...

And at the birthday party with some pigs and a puppet,

And by the time this day is up, you are gonna feel like a changed ogre.

And do some scrunches before an operational... op.

And Felicia, sweetheart.

And finally, into the castle.

And finally...

And Fiona is safe.

And for that, we are thankful. Suit him up!

And how do you know my name anyway?

And I know that you sleep by candlelight

And I thought the Waffle Fairy was just a bedtime story.

And if he shares a kiss with Fiona by sunrise,

And if music doth soothe the savage beast...

And if you do it just right, it will show you what to do. There!

And not just at the Dragon's Keep, but...

And now, to put the past behind us once and for all,

And on your left, the lovable lug that showed us you don't have to

And our torches?

And so one got away. Who cares? It's not a big deal.

And someday...

And tell her something that only her true love would know.

And that somebody is the rat munching ogre called Shrek!

And the other half locked away in a tower.

And the villagers will be, like, Get away! It's Shrek! I'm so scared of him!

And then they disappeared!

And then we attack!

And this boy kept saying, Do the roar.

And we use that one to clean the thing we clean the toilets with.

And what is that supposed to be?

And when the smoke clears... Wait, what's this?

And you are ri donkey lous!

And you have little, mutant donkey dragon babies.

And, in return, you sign the kingdom of Far Far Away over to me.

Animal cruelty! Help!

Anybody's thirsty? Nobody's thirsty? No?

Anyone who knows Fiona knows this stuff ain't gonna work on her.

Anything you could ever want! No strings attached!

As long as you're not doing anything,

As you can see, everything's in order.

Attention, citizens.

Baba! Ready my makeup. And Piper, pull my socks up.

Back there, you and Fiona.

Back when the world made sense!

Back when villagers were afraid of me, and I could take a mud bath in peace.

Bad Donkey! Mustn't.

Because everytime you close your eyes...

Because I didn't know what I had until it was gone! All right?

Because...

Besides, he does come highly recommended by King Midas.

Better out than in.

Better out than in.

Big, grownup ogre stink?!

Bring me my business wig.

Brogan, I have news from Far Far Away.

But as the days turned into years,

But Fiona isn't all ogre, is she?

But for future reference, personal space is very important to me.

But hanging up my sword was the best decision of my life.

But happy. It's a party, Shrek. You gotta cheer up!

But how?

But hurry, this is a limited time offer.

But I'm not getting anywhere with Fiona.

But I'm trying to run a revolution.

But if any of these ogres find out I'm...

But maybe that's not such a bad thing.

But she was possessed by a terrible curse.

But that is a name I have outgrown.

But that's the best part, Shrek! It's a magical contract.

But to put our daughter's life in the hands of this... person?

But to sign over our entire kingdom?

But we're not just an empire.

But where is Shrek?

But you are an ogre... Aren't you?

But you haven't heard the best part.

But you're Puss in Boots.

But, as I was saying,

But, hey...

But, most importantly, Fiona...

But, seriously, let me give you a ride. I insist.

But... But I'm your true love.

By a whole bunch of mean, ugly, nasty witches.

By day, a lovely princess. By night, a hideous ogre.

By day, one way, by night another.

By day, one way, by night, another. Blardy, blardy, blar.

By me.

By the way, why are you upset?

Cake! Cake! Cake!

Can no one bring me Shrek?! Where is he?

Can you at least tell me where they're taking me?

Catch? No. There's no catch. No catchings, really.

Change your undies to change the world!

Collecting my bounty!

Come here, you.

Come on, Fifi, go!

Come on, Fifi, go! Flappity flap!

Come on, girls!

Come on, go! Fly away! Up, up! Go!

Come on.

Come on. It's the least I can do after all you've done for me.

Daddy thinks you look real nice, Fifi.

Destroying your business and ruining your life?!

Did my little Fergus make a...

Did my little Fergus make a...

Did you cry yourself to sleep every night,

Did you grow up locked away in a dragon's keep?

Did you live all alone in a miserable tower?

Din din!

Disgusting creature!

Disgusting, filthy ogre!

Do I look like a bloodhound to you?

Do it.

Do the roar.

Don't be a fool, mule!

Don't be silly. Now who's a pretty kitty?

Don't forget to take her little potty box with you.

Don't listen to him! These ogres are crafty!

Don't try to fight it, ogre! The reward is mine!

Don't you find that a wee bit suspicious?

Don't you get it? It's all just a big fairy tale.

Donkey, I've read the fine print.

Donkey, what am I gonna do? It's like I don't even know her.

Donkey, where am I? What's happening?

Donkey, you did it! Look at you!

Donkey!

Donkey!

Donkey! Don't eat that!

Donkey! Get off of me!

Donkey! I hate to pull you away from your adoring public,

Donkey! You've got to trust me.

Donkey? What's going on? Do you know where Fiona is?

Donkey.

Dragon!

Every day since.

Everybody, I have found another cake!

Everybody, I have found another cake!

Everyone has got their cupcake? Cupcake, cupcake? Good. Yes? Baba?

Except... funny thing.

Excuse me, Mr. Shrek?

Excuse me. Coming through!

Fairy Godmother said only true love's kiss could break Fiona's curse.

Far Far Away will finally be free.

Faster brooms?

Feed me, if you dare.

Fergus, Farkle and a little girl named...

Fergus, my little man!

Fifi!

Filthy, filthy creature!

Finally leaves the safety of his filthy witch nest...

Fine! Go ahead! Run away! Who needs you?

Fiona has been locked away in that tower far too long.

Fiona, I need to...

Fiona, that's the third patrol today. We can't hide forever.

Fiona!

Fiona!

Fiona!

Fiona!

Fiona! Are you in there?!

Fiona?

Fiona?

Fiona?

Foo!

For whomever brings me this ogre,

Friends who adore you. You have everything.

Gather the others and meet me in the war room.

Get back in position!

Get him, witches!

Get in there. Get... Impossible to put on!

Get out of my tent and go make yourself useful!

Get out of my way.

Get them, get them, witches!

Gingy snap!

Gingy?

Gingy?

Give me that!

Give me your hand.

Go and finish your little speech.

Go on, Shrek.

Go on, Shrek.

Go to her when she is alone

Go! Witches, close up the floor!

Good for one free kiss. Let's cash it now.

Good.

Good. I'm gonna let go...

Goody for them! And they lived happily ever after!

Grandma? Is that you?

Great. Next to mimes, magicians are my favourite people.

Gretched, make sure everyone is prepared to move out tonight.

Happily...

Happy Birthday, Farkle.

Happy Birthday, ninos! Vamos a la fiesta!

Has jeopardized our joyous lives.

Have a nice day.

Have I been waiting for you!

He'll be vulnerable.

He's devious. He's deceitful. He's, he's...

He's really tiny, isn't he?

Heart shaped box of slugs.

Hello, people. It is I, Rumpelstiltskin...

Hello!

Hello?

Help me! Help!

Help, Shrek! Help!

Help!

Help! Help me!

Help! I've been kidnapped by a deranged, unbalanced ogre!

Help! You can't eat me! I got the mange!

Here it comes. Look at him.

Here, let me show you how it's done.

Here, let me spell it out for you!

Here, now make sure they eat up!

Hey, everybody! Shrek's gonna do his famous ogre roar!

Hey, I can't get my origami on unless you back off.

Hey, it's a new guy!

Hey, man, get that dirty favour out of my face!

Hey, no problem. Forget it, no big D. Doesn't matter.

Hey, no problem. Forget it, no big D. Doesn't matter.

Hey, Shrek, Shrek!

Hey, Uncle Shrek! How about giving my babies an encore!

Hey!

Hey! Hey... Hey!

Hey! I believe you promised my son a roar.

Hey! I haven't removed his giblets yet.

Hey! I may have let myself go a little since retirement,

Hey! That's my wife you're talking about.

Hey! We can hear you!

Hey... Scott?

His day is up. His day is...!

Hold it together. Just hold it together.

Hold still.

Honk.

How about one of those famous Shrek roars?

How about the day I met Donkey?

How am I ever gonna get her to kiss me before sunrise?

How could you when you never existed?

How do you do?

How do you know about my curse?!

How hard can it be?! I want him! I want him! I want him!

How would you know?

How's that for a metaphysical paradox?

I always wanted chaps! Yee haw! Giddy up!

I always wanted to have a daughter named Felicia.

I am her true love. I ended her curse.

I am not believing what I have just witnessed.

I am not going back to work for Old MacDonald.

I am.

I believe this is yours.

I bet Fiona would be really touched to hear that.

I bet that's because of us.

I can explain everything.

I can see why you haven't eaten him.

I can't control myself!

I can't just pick up and leave my family.

I did. I saved myself.

I didn't know we could do that.

I didn't know what I had.

I do?!

I don't care how big your eyes get, player, it's not going down.

I don't know about this, Lillian.

I don't know who that is.

I don't know you! I don't know him!

I don't know, any day. A day from your past.

I don't know.

I don't know. Not much of a storybook ending.

I don't understand. This doesn't make any sense.

I ended Fiona's curse!

I give you a princess's worst nightmare!

I go down smooth, but come out fighting!

I got a hot rat cooking.

I got it.

I got the chance to fall in love with you all over again.

I guess it'll have to do.

I guess there's nothing wrong with wanting a little time for myself.

I have all the cream I can drink and all the mice I can chase.

I hear you're looking for me.

I knew that.

I know everything about you.

I know that when you see a shooting star,

I know that you don't like the covers wrapped around your feet,

I know you sing so beautifully that birds explode.

I know. What about a day you wouldn't even remember?

I like to look at the goblet as half full.

I love you, Daddy!

I mean, there's something. Small thing. Nothing. A little thing.

I need a bounty hunter.

I never needed to ask for anyone's permission before.

I present Shrek and Fiona!

I said, don't! Don't! No! Get away from it.

I see you!

I suggest you take your gift basket,

I think I fell on my keys.

I think I got something.

I thought was long extinguished.

I told her I wished I'd never rescued her.

I told her I wished I'd never rescued her.

I used to be an ogre. Now I'm just a jolly green joke!

I was just trying to be friendly. No hard feelings?

I was tricked into signing something I shouldn't have.

I wasn't there for you.

I wish that ogre was never born!

I wonder what Shrek's up to in there.

I wouldn't expect you to understand. It's not like you're a real ogre.

I'll be fine. I think I can take care of myself...

I'll be right back, Donkey!

I'll call you! We're in love!

I'll get him later.

I'll scout ahead. Wait for my signal.

I'm a Daddy?

I'm an ogre and I'm not gonna apologize for acting like one.

I'm being ass napped!

I'm driving, so I'm in charge of the music.

I'm gonna just hang back here and find us some breakfast!

I'm in a great mood, actually.

I'm just a frightened old man.

I'm not crying.

I'm not gonna eat you.

I'm not gonna hurt you, all right?

I'm not talking about the villagers, Shrek. I'm talking about you.

I'm your friend.

I've never seen you before in my life.

If Fiona and I share true love's kiss, I will get my life back!

If I didn't save Fiona...

If I'm turning myself in, I get the deal of a lifetime.

If she thinks I'm gonna slink back there and apologize,

If that cupcake eating clown

If they thought it would end their daughter's curse.

If your life was so perfect, why'd you sign it away to Rumpelstiltskin?

In Boots!

In case you haven't noticed, I'm a donkey, not a dog!

In this case, you gotta give a day to get a day. That's all.

Into the castle!

Into the castle.

Is because you've never been kissed...

Is just sad.

Is this really how you want to remember the kids' first birthday?

Isn't he cute? He looks just like you.

It doesn't matter to me.

It is the end of the world! Our world!

It is true! You are the one! You must prove it to her!

It seems like you can handle yourself.

It seems that we are safe.

It was as if, for one moment, Fiona had actually found her true love!

It's all right.

It's me, Shrek. Your best friend?

It's not like it's the end of the world.

It's not like she's getting any younger.

It's nothing to be ashamed of. I cry all the time.

It's the only way to save your friends.

It's time to crumble!

Jump, Fifi, jump!

Just 24 tiny little hours.

Just another gift from some clueless lover boy.

Just because you're an ogre, doesn't mean you have to eat like one.

Just for an example.

Just give me a minute.

Just sign it and all your problems will disappear.

Just think of it! Total and

Just thinking about my grandma, or thinking about baby kittens,

Kill the ogre! Kill the ogre!

King for a Month. Knight for a Week.

Know about what?!

Ladies, this is the guy

Let go of me! I have got to save Shrek!

Let's see, Good for one free foot massage.

Let's talk about this after the party, at home.

Like a day when you were a baby.

Listen up, everyone. Word has come from Far Far Away.

Listen, I don't know who you are or how you know about my curse,

Lock all the doors, you worthless witches! Do it!

Look at him, all dressed up in his Sunday vest.

Look, all I want is for things to go back to the way they used to be!

Look, Donkey, the chimichanga cart! Quick!

Look, I don't know what this is all about,

Look, I think you have me confused with some other talking donkey.

Look, it's not too late to fix it.

Look, Puss, I'm a little pressed for time.

Look, Shrek, I know things might seem a little bleak right now,

Looks like a troublemaker!

Looks like it's time to pay the Piper.

Looks like we're having curly toed weirdo for breakfast.

Looks like you forgot the candles!

Luscious and tasty.

Magical transactions are my specialty!

Make it stop!

Make this letter match up here, bring this corner here,

Man, Shrek and me just busted out of that place!

Man, you are a cat astrophe!

Maybe once.

Maybe we could make a deal for it, little boy?

Maybe you kissed her wrong?

Me, I like to look at it as half full.

Morning, Daddy.

Morning.

Move it!

Mr. Stiltskin, please!

Mr. Stiltskin?

Mrs. Highness.

My angry wig.

My donkey fell in your waffle hole.

My home.

My life was perfect and I'm never going to get it back!

My name is Shrek, actually.

Never seen me before? Come on, Donkey!

Nice job, ladies!

Nice landing, baby.

Nice one.

No one will even know you're gone.

No, Cookie. We won't be needing that.

No, don't cry.

No, I ate them.

No, it's Shrek! Honest!

No, not my pretty ball!

No, not yet! I'm not ready! No, wait!

No, Shrek, it's not what I've done. It's what you've done.

No, Shrek. You gave it to me.

No, thanks. I already had a big bowl of curly toed weirdo for breakfast.

No, you were right.

No! Only true love's kiss can break your contract!

No. Hell...

No. I signed this.

No. It was you that rescued me.

Nobody's smart but me!

Not now, Donkey. Pigs, are there any cupcakes?

Not Shrek. That is not Shrek. Also not Shrek.

Nothing is worth more to us than our daughter.

Now go get my chequebook! Go! Move! Get out!

Now smell it!

Now that I think about it, the ogre who got away is Shrek!

Now, there's a day I'd like to take back.

Now!

Nowhere.

Of agua purificada?

Ogre for a day.

Ogre, ogre, un momento!

Ogre!

Ogre!

Ogre! Un momento! Un momento!

Oh, great.

Oh, man, you used to be so fierce!

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, that's diabolical!

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I always like to quad my lutes

Oh, you... I'm just... What are you...?

Okay, Gingy, tell me about this...

Okay, good. A day from your childhood it is.

Okay, I know you don't remember me, but...

Okay, just watch the cake. I'll go get them.

Okay, Okay, maybe you're not the ogre you used to be.

Okay, Okay, please, Fiona... Just hear me out.

Okay, the dragon goes under the bridge, through the loop...

Okay, yeah, fine! Go ahead!

Okay! This isn't a petting zoo! So where is this Fiona?

Okay. Good.

Once they reach the clearing, I'll give the signal.

Once upon a time, a long time ago,

Only true love's kiss could lift her curse.

Or my grandma kissing a baby kitten, or a little baby grandma kitten.

Outhouse!

Outhouse!

Pied Piper. How was your commute?

Place your bets! Place your bets! We start tout de suite!

Play date!

Play date!

Please stay tuned for a message from our tyrannical dictator!

Please, Felicia, not in Daddy's ear.

Please, help!

Please, help!

Please, señor, let us have it!

Please! Eat my face last! Send my hooves to my mama!

Please! Make it stop!

Puss and Donkey to the rescue! We saved the day!

Puss, say something.

Puss, what happened to you? You got so fa...

Puss, what have I done to you?

Puss!

Puss?

Quiet down there! Oh, I hate this song.

Quiet, ogre! You're gonna get me in trouble and I need this job.

Rallying the troops, planning attacks,

Recently, a certain somebody

Recently, a certain somebody

Revolution?

Right... now.

Roar!

Roar.

Ruin everything? Actually, I'm gonna fix everything...

Rumpel!

Rumpelstiltskin is gone and the chimichangas have been eaten.

Rumpelstiltskin promised the deal of a lifetime

Rumpelstiltskin!

Run!

Say what?!

Secure your positions!

Shall receive the deal of a lifetime.

She turned into a beautiful ogre and they lived...

She turned into a beautiful ogre and they lived...

She's got another thing coming. She's not the boss of me.

She's right. Rumpel's palace is locked up tighter

Shepherd of your dreams.

Shrek and Fiona are together?!

Shrek, do my babies have hooves or talons?

Shrek, it's a sing along. You've got to sing along!

Shrek, you have three beautiful children,

Shrek!

Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!

Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!

Shrek! The outhouse is clogged up!

Shrek?

Shrek?

Shrek? Are you Okay?

Shrek? Are you Okay?

Sign it, Shrek! Sign it!

Sign it!

Silly little ogre. You don't get it, do you?

Sir? You're gonna have to pay for that.

Skunk scented candle.

So close!

So I brought you a little something to ease the tension.

So if you thought you were just gonna...

So light your torches, sharpen your pitchforks and get your mob on!

So stop complaining and start smelling.

So the centaur says, That's not the half I'm talking about.

So unless you have Rumpelstiltskin's head in there,

So what day would I have to give up?

So why start now?

So you'll put an end to our daughter's curse?

So you're not gonna eat me?

So, tell me, how are you enjoying your day?

So, tell me. What happens now?

So, what did you wish for?

So... where did you leave her last?

Some people like to look at the goblet as... as half empty.

Someone, anyone! Help me!

Sometimes I wish I had just one day to feel like a real ogre again.

Sorry!

Spread 'em!

Squinch up your nose and you make a wish.

Step right up! See the dancing ogre! Don't worry! He won't bite!

Sticky stacks of golden, syrupy deliciousness!

Still, I don't know.

Stiltskin is leading tonight's ogre hunt himself.

Stiltskin, we had a deal! You agreed to free all ogres!

Stiltskin!

Stop!

Sure is great to be wanted again.

Surrender now! I'm taking you in!

Take it easy, I'm only trying to help.

Take them away!

Tell me to E I E I O. E I E I No! That's what I said.

Thank you, Daddy.

Thank you.

Thank you. Okay, here's what you gotta do. You fold this piece here,

Thanks for the pants, Muffin Man.

That every day could be like this one.

That is why I come to you, dear citizens.

That is your father painted green.

That made all of this possible!

That was a really brave thing you did, Shrek.

That you're married to a fire breathing dragon

That's a good one, Cookie!

That's how you knew so much about me.

That's just great.

That's my line.

That's not even an ogre, it is a troll! Nice try.

That's not the only thing you've outgrown.

That's quite a friend you've got there.

That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard!

The complexity of my polygonic foldability skills.

The dragon goes under the bridge,

The dragon goes under the bridge!

The King and Queen were forced to resort to more desperate measures.

The kingdom of Far Far Away was finally at peace.

The kiss worked.

The last time I saw her,

The main event of the evening!

The noble Shrek turns himself in to save a bunch of filthy ogres.

The ogres, Rumpel, your curse.

The ogres. They are all free.

The pain! I can see a bright light. A tunnel!

The plan's simple. If they follow the usual patrol route,

The same way we're gonna bust in.

The villagers wanted me to sign their pitchforks,

Then I can do it again.

Then I punched the cakes that the pigs ate and the next thing I knew,

Then I think I might know just the person!

Then Shrek kissed the Princess.

Then what do you want?

Then where were you when I needed you?

Then who did?

There are 40 children in that shoe,

There has to be something I can do.

There he is!

There is no tomorrow.

There was a spark... a spark inside her heart

There you go, chief.

There's a stack of freshly made waffles in the middle of the forest.

There's no day after that, and there's no day after that day after that!

There's nothing about an exit clause in here.

They can put us in cages, but they can't cage our honour!

They keep dragons in there!

They would if I promised them all their problems would disappear.

They would never do that.

Think about it, Shrek. To be feared and hated.

This is not good.

This is the favour Fiona was supposed to give me on the day we met.

This is the part where you run away!

This little piggy wants to go home!

This lovable lug taught us

This one taken?

This shall be the norm.

This wasn't part of the deal!

Through the loop and finally...

To live the life of an ogre... no worries, no responsibilities.

To make the magic work, you gotta give something to get something.

To the same place they take every ogre. To Rumpelstiltskin.

True love didn't get me out of that tower.

True love's kiss was supposed to fix everything!

True love's kiss will render this contract null and void.

True Love's Kiss.

Trust me, Brogan. After tonight, we won't have to.

Trust me, Fiona. Y'all gonna be really hungry after this ambush, Okay?

Trust me, you don't want to eat this one.

Try Lou's Bliss.

Uh oh.

Until you find true love's first kiss...

Victory is ours!

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait up! What's your rush? Where you going?

Wait! Is that mistletoe I see?

Waiting for a true love that never came?!

Wake up, Daddy, wake up!

Watch it with your pointy hooves!

Watch out!

Watch the cake?

We fight for freedom and ogres everywhere!

We have kids.

We move out as soon as Rumpel leaves the palace.

We must do something before they fandango themselves into oblivion!

We must get into the palace.

We need the cake!

We use that to clean the toilets.

We'll be concealed along this road, waiting for his caravan.

We're a family.

We're married. Hear me out.

We've gone from the bottom to the top, ladies.

We've got another one, ladies! Get him!

Well, I do get brushed twice a day.

Well, I know how stressful mounting a rebellion can be...

Well, I see who wears the chain mail in your family!

Well, if your kingdom's worth more to you than your daughter...

Well, that's just it, you see.

Well, then does anyone care to tell me

Well, where's your hat? Where's your belt?

Well...

Well...

Were you going to eat that?

What a coincidence! I was just heading that way myself.

What are you doing?

What are you doing? Can I help you with something?

What does it look like? I'm getting ready for ambush action.

What it's going to take to get this ogre? You.

What the...?

What?!

What's he gonna do, flute those ogres a lullaby?

What's the point? The kiss didn't work. It's over.

When her true love would arrive.

When I could do what I wanted, when I wanted to do it!

When somebody tooties that flutey, I got to shake my Booty!

Where all your wishes come true.

Where are my babies? And where's your wife, Dragon?

Where's my family?

Which is why the weasel goes pop to this very day.

Who turned him in? Who gets the deal of a lifetime?

Who's Lou?

Whoa, there.

Whoa! That's a whole lot of kitty! Shrek, can we keep him?

Whose roar was feared throughout the land,

Why didn't you say so?

Why does being your best friend entail me doing everything I don't want to do?

Why don't you go check on the cake?

Why is it the only person who can't see that is you?

Will you witches make up your mind?

Witches, finally, the moment we've all been waiting for.

Witches! All right, everyone, you know the drill!

Without picking up a few tricks.

Wolfie! My speech wig.

Wolfie! My speech wig.

Wolfie?

Works on me.

Would anyone care for some water? Wet your whistle?

Would save the beautiful Princess Fiona.

Wow. You're right. I am sorry.

Yay! My new pretty ball! Didn't it look bigger in the catalogue?

Yeah, I've heard enough of your toot a Lee toots! You blew it!

Yeah, it looks a lot less pitchforky and torchy out there. Let's go.

Yeah, it's me, Granny.

Yeah, right. Put a little mustard on mine, Captain Crazy!

Yeah, well, I... I used to be.

Yeah, when you were a real ogre!

Yeah, you know, that's what they told me, too.

Yeah!

Yeah! Cookie's bringing the heat out of the kitchen!

Yeah! Waffles!

Yeah. Fate has delivered us a comrade in arms

Yelling makes me so parched.

You are going to ruin everything!

You better start making sense, you dirty little man!

You call this guy a bounty hunter?

You can't end tyranny on an empty stomach! Go on! Go!

You cross your fingers on both hands,

You did.

You did.

You don't have to change your undies to change the world!

You don't know who I am, do you?

You don't want to see me angry, do you?

You even know the little rhyme!

You gave me a day from your past, a day you couldn't even remember.

You gave me a home and a family.

You got another customer.

You have kids?

You have the right to shut your mouth!

You have to take me to dinner first.

You in trouble, Romeo. The only thing Fiona cares about is her 'cause.

You know of her curse?

You know what the best part of today was?

You know, actually not a bad idea. Baba!

You know, I always thought

You know, I'd rather not. It's my kids' birthday party.

You know, when I lose something, I always try to retrace my steps.

You mean back before you rescued me from the Dragon's Keep?

You mean that roadside attraction we live in?

You need to calm down!

You need to know, once and for all, who I really am.

You never met Fiona.

You saw what happened. She's gonna think I'm crazy.

You see, you were never born.

You should never sign a contract with Rumpelstiltskin!

You signed up for one of them time shares, huh?

You took the day I was born.

You used to believe that a single kiss could solve everything!

You will.

You witches are making a big mistake! I know my rights!

You'll be, like, Roar!

You're afraid you're gonna wake up back in that tower.

You're going to get yourself killed at the ambush tonight.

You're here now.

You're still... an ogre!

You're welcome. So let's see what you got.

You've already done everything for me, Fiona.

You've gone soft.

You've gotta be kidding me.

Your cake. Voilà!

Your dinner is my friend!

Your kids don't exist.

Your nose is the only chance I have of tracking down my wife,

Your tiny, little ogre brain couldn't begin to comprehend

Your wee little boots?

Your wife!

A beautiful princess? That is not who I am! Not anymore.

A day. A day.

And so will we. Spread the word.

And that... Roar.

Are you Okay? I'm fine.

Better out than in. This lovable lug...

Big deal. I know that when you sign your name,

Bounty? What are you talking about, cracker?

But, Fiona... Go get ready for the mission!

Chimichangas?! Get 'em while they're hot!

Come on, Donkey. One more time, please?

Come on, guys! I got to get the giblets out!

Come on, Shrek, your fans are waiting! Do the roar.

complete happiness. Ya!

Do the roar. Honey?

Do the roar. Let me set you straight, Butter Pants.

Donkey, woo her! Woo who?

Donkey? And Puss!

Everything's gonna be Okay. Shrek, what's going on?

Eyeball tini? Well, maybe just one.

fancy. Do I know you?

Felicia. Felicia.

Fiona, wait! Kiss me. What?

Fiona! Witches! Oh, no!

for whoever could bring you in. Deal of a lifetime?

Free? That's a laugh. Oh, yeah?

Get up, get up! And they lived...

Happily... Ever...

Happily... Ever...

Happy Ogre Day! Rumpel!

He's going to get away! No, he's not.

He's never done that before. What? Why?

Hey! Here you go.

His exit clauses are sneaky. Yeah, I...

His fine print is crafty. I know.

How, by getting yourself killed? If that's what it takes.

I bet by this time tomorrow... Don't you understand?

I can still fix this. How you gonna do that?

I didn't know we could do that. That's my best friend!

I do. What? But...

I need to talk to you. What is it?

I need your help! Hey, everybody. Who wants dessert?

I will, but Fiona... That's an order!

I'm poisonous! I'm all poi... I'll take him! This order's to go.

If you'd just let me kiss you! What? You're insane!

in here and get your life back... I'm not here to get my life back.

It's quite a view from up here. What are you doing?!

Just take my wallet! Hey!

Let's go, greenie. Now, wait a minute!

Lillian, this is madness! What choice do we have?

Look, I know you're upset. You don't know anything about me.

Look, this really isn't the... What's this? Coupons!

Mr. Stiltskin! He's here. Nice.

Nice moves. What are you doing?

No, I'm being forced to dance! By love!

No! Pointier hats?

No! You! Maybe we could hire

Oh, great. So this is all my fault? Yes. But you know what?

Oh, I'm gonna lick me a rainbow! Donkey!

Oh, I'm not a real boy. Do you want to be?

Oh, no. Shrek?

Okay, go. Please make me a real boy!

Puss? Let me explain.

She's back. There she is.

Stiltskin! I said quiet!

Take them all for all I care. Oh, just one will do.

than Old Mother Hubbard's Cupboard. And that cupboard wasn't guarded

That is so darn sad. I said, I'm not crying!

That's your wife? That's my wife.

To the 'cause! To the 'cause!

True love's form. Impossible!

Unbelievable. Tell me about it! Those villagers...

We ate them, too. They have lollipops.

Welcome to the resistance. Resistance?

What did you say? I'm talking about the exit clause.

What happened to the cake? Trust me. It's an improvement.

What is that supposed to be? That's Sprinkles the Ogre!

Whatever it is, it's sweet. Fiona.

When the world made sense. All right, what's the catch?

Where are you going? To save my friends.

Where'd we find that guy? Could it be true?

Where'd you get these? Fiona's garbage.

Where's Fiona's signal? What's she waiting for?

Where's the cake?! We ate the cake.

Why is this happening?! Love?

Why should I trust you? Because...

Witches! Witches! Come on, now.

Wolfie! Yes, Mr. Stiltskin.

Yeah! Your wildest dreams.

You didn't share? Well, you didn't share the croissants!

You move fast. It's not me doing the moving.

you put a heart over the I. So what?

Ándale! After him, burro! Donkey, vámonos!