Sausage Party (2016) Edit

A bagel trying to kill a lavash, once again.

A fucking stretch, and you know you it, Queso!

A little sausage with some pretty big news.

A mash up? I don't understand. What's happening?

A place where the gods care for you...

A taco, a whiny doughnut...

A talking douche.

A thin, brittle version of me.

A ton.

Add that to your list of accomplishments.

After all the times he stood up for me, you know.

All of you. All day, err day.

All right, look, I found out some pretty major shit.

All right, vémonos. Let's go.

All right, who did it?

All right, who did it?

All right. I got them right here, amigo. I

Always have. Juice are hilarious. Who the fuck do these guys think they are?

And bless me, Santa Chimichanga, and protect me from the Dark Lord. Amen.

And careful.

And cover her up already.

And every aisle Thinks something different

And for that, I give you mad props.

And I always kind of thought that it didn't quite add up.

And I can actually understand you?

And I too consider him a dear friend.

And I would do anything for love

And I would do anything for love

And me!

And nothing awful happens to us In the Great Beyond

And right out of your fucking dingle.

And she's beautiful.

And stops eating us!

And the answer is:

And the same thing's gonna happen to all of you...

And then they figured out how to drive my car, snuck into an AC vent...

And then you slump over.

And therefore, I have to knock it.

And this is the weirdest thing that I've done so far, bro.

And what I currently care about is that I have been...

And when a bun this fresh is into you, all you ask is when and how deep.

And when he stops using us!

And you are in grande danger.

And you've been traveling with a sausage?

And, hey, for all we know, he's okay.

Answers I have.

Anybody want a hit before we do this?

Anything you've been dreaming of

Anyway, at least it's still distracting them from the truth:

Are you a bun?

Are you hearing me?

Are you seeing this? They're all out of their packages. What are they doing?

Are you some kind of magical sausage?

Are you there?

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Are you two responsible for my nozzle being irrepressibly fucked up?

As long as the bagel stays away from me, I accept.

As soon as we get to the Great Beyond and as deep as she'll let me.

As soon as we got out those doors

As soon as you're out those doors, the gods kill our asses.

At least we go out together.

Attention, shoppers. The store is closing in five minutes. Get out.

Attention, shoppers. The store's closed.

Awesome.

Ay, mi gordita, let's not start eating each other's boxes just yet.

Ay, my bunny bun!

Ay, Santa Chimichanga...

Baby, Dab)'

Bad for my asshole, I'll tell you that much.

Barry, help!

Barry!

Barry!

Barry! Snap the fuck out of it and run!

Barry? Is this real?

Bath salts are just as bad as they said it would be!

Bath salts must be kicking in.

Beans, I swear to fucking God, if you don't...

Beat him like a pinata!

Because bath salts here I come!

Because I believe in bunogomy. I'm a bunogamist.

Because it makes them stronger.

Before us, everyone knew the awful truth.

Being bathed by the hands of a god!

Better than believing bullshit that you can't explain!

Boo and yah, motherfuckers. Red, White and Blue Day is tomorrow!

Booyah, bitches, I'm out of here!

Brenda!

Brenda!

Brenda!

Brenda!

Brenda!

Brenda!

Brenda!

Brenda!

Brenda!

Brenda! Brenda, okay, look.

Brenda! Brenda!

Brenda! Oh, Brenda, there you are!

Brenda! Oh, God.

Brenda! You gotta get out of there! No! No, no, no!

Brenda. Look, I'm so sorry.

Bro, come here. No, it's fine. It's cool. No biggie.

But apparently there's proof in the Dark Aisle beyond the ice.

But first...

But for expediency's sake, you can call me...

But fuck everybody.

But I can't try it.

But I just won't do that

But I won't do that

But I'll never forgive myself

But if there is one thing I've learned on this journey...

But luckily, it's not too late. Come on.

But now that you have shattered one truth, it is time for you to learn...

But once we're out the doors It's not a sin

But over the years, things started to get a little fucky.

But still, you're kind of like me.

But that's the way Our buns keep fresh and pure

But to this we all agree

But we also know our shit.

But what about the extra virgin olive oil?

But what I do know is that together we can fight these monsters...

But your Frank did say some things that have stayed with me.

But, full disclosure, I'm pretty fucking nervous about this.

By this time tomorrow, we're all gonna be 5 inches deep in some bun, son.

C H I P S, Chips, Chips, Chips.

Call 911!

Can I ask why you're helping me?

Can I ask you a question, me?

Carl!

Carl! Dear sweet Carl.

Carl?

Cheese! You don't deserve that!

Choose us! Look at us!

Come at me, bros.

Come at you? What does that mean?

Come on, guys, this affects all of us!

Come on, guys. It's us or them.

Come on, honeybun, suck it in.

Come on, let's see that smile.

Come on, put me down.

Come on, you candy asses. Join the fight!

Come on. I can still get up in there!

Come on. Sing.

Congratulations!

Country Club Lemonade.

Cracker ass crackers.

Cream of Mushroom?

Dead as a motherfucker.

Dear gods We pledge our love to you

Dear gods We pledge our love to you

Dear gods You're so divine in each and every way

Dear gods You're so divine in each and every way

Deeper.

Deeper.

Did someone say Queso?

Did you go to the Great Beyond?

Did you say between our legs?

Do not worry, bun. I will get you home.

Don't look at me. Eyes forward. Act natural.

Don't mind me. Just minding my own business. Just passing through.

Don't say that. You're starting to sound like that whack job Honey Mustard.

Don't touch me, man! Ketchup, get your fucking hands off me.

Don't touch me.

Don't you dare fucking do it, Corn.

Don't you fucking do it.

Donkey fucker!

Douche down!

Down to fuck a sausage up!

Dude, get in on this shit.

Dude! It's me, Barry!

Dudes, basically every single sausage...

Dying. So cold.

Easy! Look, I have a plan.

Ed ward Nor ton?

Ed ward Nor ton.

Eff you, Frank. You know what? I was wrong before.

Even that I didn't push, you know. I pretty much passive aggressively nudge.

Every kill gives them more power, and it's never enough.

Everyone else is fuckin' stupid

Everything we've been led to believe is a lie.

Everything we've ever known is a dirt covered pile of shit...

Exactly.

Except for that douche. I don't know whose that is.

Except for those who think like me

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Can I get by?

Extra cashier to the front.

Feel that breeze.

Ff lends.

Fifty five minutes.

Fine. Five minutes. Be fast.

Fine. You won't come at me?

Firewater.

First you come into our aisle and occupy more and more shelf space.

First you smush Sally, and then you try to fuck up Red, White and Blue Day for us?!

First, the gods stretched me till it hurt.

Five second rule.

For 20 years, I was stuck under the desk of a brilliant scientist.

For the love of shit, run!

Forever more

Forever more

Frank, Frank, stop it.

Frank, I'm sorry.

Frank, run!

Frank!

Frank!

Frank!

Frank!

Frank!

Frank! Move your fucking ass!

Frank.

Fruits are a go. Go, fruits!

Fuck me!

Fuck me!

Fuck the crackers.

Fuck this. I'm gonna kick your ass. How you like them apples?

Fuck you, gods!

Fuck you, wienies.

Fuck, I hate this fucking job!

Fuck, that hurts so much!

Fuck, yeah, he did. And it's dope.

Fuck!

Fuck! Stuck! You gotta be kidding me, dude!

Fuck.

Fuck. Come on. Come on.

Fuck. This is some next level shit, dude.

Fucking A! Yeah!

Fucking children!

Fucking sucks, right?

Fucking with Twink's lyrics. Remixing my shit without my permish.

Gar babar what? What are you saying, Carl?

Gary, did you just throw this fucking toothpick at me, man?

Gefilte Fish will be there. Matzah. Even Hummus.

Get ready, boys!

Get the butter!

Get the Dark Lord!

Get the fuck away from me.

Get up! We gotta go!

Get your hands off me! I gotta get out!

Get your hands off of me. Get off of me!

Get your nose out of my crotch!

Go fuck yourself, El Douche.

Go to the Dark Aisle. Beyond the ice.

God, I love them so fucking much.

God, I'm such a fearful coward.

God, what have I done? Frank needed my help, but I wasn't there for him.

God! Move your fat ass.

God! Tripping balls for three hours really works up an appetite.

God. I didn't want to say it, but I do have that not so fresh feeling.

Goddamn it.

Goddamn!

Gods do, bro.

Good luck! Have fun!

Good. And there's one more thing you're gonna do.

Goodbye, Brenda Bunson.

Goodbye, Frank.

Goodbye, little sausage.

Goodbye, Teresa Del Taco.

Gotta use your cardio, bro! Come on! Pump those legs!

Great, my asshole!

Great. That last part was all you had to say, really.

Guys, I'm stuck!

Guys! Get out here! Help me kill this prick.

Guys! Oh, my God. You have to come with me right now.

Have faith.

He basically knows it already. Maybe it's time to end this.

He is right.

He wouldn't ditch me, dumb ass. He's my boyfriend. I mean...

He'll never forgive me. I'll never forgive me.

He's coming, he's coming, he's coming.

He's coming.

He's flawed, as are we all.

He's gone.

He's great. He's gonna help us get the upper hand on these fuckers.

He's probably headed back to our aisle and he'll be here tomorrow.

He's right this way. I can take you to him, chica.

Hello there, little sausage.

Hello?

Help me, someone.

Help me!

Help me!

Help me. Help me.

Here goes everything!

Here's my impression of that:

Hey, Brenda. What up, girl?

Hey, bun! Welcome to the aisle. Wanna dance?

Hey, bun. Need a boost?

Hey, dude, I don't know how to say this to you gently, but your girlfriend...

Hey, fellas. You thinking what I'm thinking?

Hey, Grits. Pack another bowl, will you? I'm a hankering for a hunk of herb.

Hey, guys, come over here, follow me!

Hey, guys! You wanna believe that?

Hey, hey, hey, look at this. We fucking got one.

Hey, hey. Look, can we all just, you know, calm down a notch, please?

Hey, I'm not gonna be any better. I've never opened up.

Hey, man, be careful with this. Bath salts are the real deal.

Hey, wake up!

Hey, what do you think? Should we do it?

Hey, who you calling useless, you flappy fuck?

Hey! Idiot!

Hey! Watch it!

Hey. Doesn't mean it's too late to redeem yourself.

Hey. I Sorry, I accidentally dropped a few things back there.

Hey. Why are we hiding?

His name's Gum. Just introduce yourself as Gum from now on.

Hiya, how are ya

Hiya, how are ya Hiya, how are ya

Hola means hello.

Hola, Teresa.

Holy fucksticks. We are ray ray far from home.

Holy shit, I've been chosen!

Holy shit, we're actually here! Come on, Barry, you're missing it, man!

Holy shit!

Holy shit! He can actually see us?

Holy shit! You're back, man. Crazy!

Holy shit.

Holy shit. Look at this place.

Home.

Honestly, if the rules were different, maybe I'd give it a whirl.

Hop on, y'all.

Hope? How the fuck are we supposed to give them that?

How am I supposed to get back to Frank?

How come all of a sudden you only believe if there's proof?

How fucking great

How much did his dirty hands steal from you?

How much of that shit have you been smoking? Too much is how much.

Huge mistake, bros.

Hurry!

I am destined to soak up their sweet juices...

I am Frank...

I am Kareem Abdul Lavash!

I am Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol

I am Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol, Mannitol...

I am sure it was the gods telling me to help you.

I am the original inhabitant of this land.

I am tired of all of the lies.

I am to be trusted.

I am to have 77 bottles of extra virgin olive oil...

I begged them to stop, but they just wouldn't.

I blew it.

I can hear you, dude.

I can warn Frank.

I can't believe I got out of my package for you...

I can't believe I was actually talking to you, sausage.

I can't believe we were saving ourselves for the Great Beyond when...

I can't believe you got out of your package.

I can't breathe! Stop it!

I can't do that.

I can't reach him. I'm giving it everything I have.

I can't run. I'll melt.

I can't take full credit. I wrote the music. Twink is my lyricist.

I can't wait to finally just get up in there. Just raw dog it.

I can't!

I can't! You're all alive and looking at me with your...

I could still...

I don't either.

I don't get how you can just believe stuff you don't have any proof of.

I don't know how well I'll perform once it happens.

I don't know who those dudes are. But if they went out those doors?

I don't know why you're limiting yourself to one bun. There's plenty of buns.

I don't know. Isn't there room for both of you? It seems like a pretty big aisle.

I don't see anything.

I fall out of the cart, then I lose Frank, now I'm being hunted by a douche.

I fucked over Frank, Carl's dead and I'm all alone.

I got a new purpose now.

I got no purpose.

I got smushed.

I gotta show them.

I have feelings for you I can't deny.

I have invented a Stargate device that will allow us to travel to their dimension.

I have to try. Everyone will die otherwise.

I have to warn Frank. No. No!

I have! He's looking for you in my aisle.

I just need to rest my eyes for a few.

I know you don't wanna believe it, but I have proof!

I literally can't wait to be home.

I love you, Brenda.

I love you, Frank.

I mean, honestly, guys...

I mean, look at our shapes. You know, you're sideways.

I mean, look how tight I am.

I mean, this is This happens, you know?

I mean, whose side are you on?

I meant to buy a normal mustard. When I got home...

I might as well just die.

I need to go to the Dark Aisle, and I want you to come with me.

I need to just feel you.

I pushed you? What are you, nuts?

I reached out in a panic.

I see that lip curling up.

I swear to God.

I take you to him real good.

I think I might be forming some beginnings...

I tried to warn everyone, they didn't believe me!

I want my mommy!

I want the sausage and the bun dead, and if you see them, come and get me...

I was about to beat on you most viciously...

I was afraid you left me because I wasn't fresh.

I was attacked by a douche. He's trying to kill us!

I was just told...

I was just trying to save Frank.

I was starting to worry the gods didn't want douches no more, but look at her.

I will tell you very much that you look fucking disgusting, bro.

I wish this god would wake up already.

I would do anything for love

I would do anything for love

I would do anything for love

I'd run right into hell and back

I'll be right back, all right?

I'll just eat dirt and wipe my ass with sticks!

I'll meet you at the end of the aisle.

I'll never eat food again. I'll just

I'll never forget you.

I'll never lie to you and that's a fact

I'll tell you exactly what happened in the Great Beyond...

I'll tell you what. I'll go in super duper fast, in and out, I'll be five minutes.

I'm a fucking god!

I'm a fucking idiot. I'm dead now.

I'm a hard, horny taco.

I'm blowing my fucking load. Good God.

I'm coming for you!

I'm filling you. I'm filling you.

I'm Frank. Are you Firewater?

I'm fucking jacked up now, bro.

I'm fucking with you, but also serious. ls there a different color inside?

I'm going to fuck the fuck out of you.

I'm going to the Great Beyond, motherfuckers!

I'm gonna fuck them crackers right in the crack of they cracker asses.

I'm gonna get you and your little sausage too!

I'm gonna get you, my pretty!

I'm gonna go so far as to say I consider Hummus one of my dearest friends.

I'm gonna talk to her.

I'm having an out of sausage experience. Yes!

I'm juicing up!

I'm like a full on juicehead now, bro.

I'm not gonna do something fucked up to you now as soon as I get you in close.

I'm not walking around with my eyes closed!

I'm nothing!

I'm on my way!

I'm out of my fucking box!

I'm really sorry.

I'm Sammy Bagel Jr. You know, I'm happy to meet all of you.

I'm showing you physical evidence. Open your eyes. Don't be so weak.

I'm so excited, I'm plotzing.

I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up.

I'm so happy the gods put our packages together.

I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean for any of this to happen.

I'm still fresh!

I'm such a whore.

I'm sure there's some kind of smushed bun out there waiting for me.

I'm tweaked! I'm tweaking!

I've been dealing with this whole thing incredibly poorly.

I've been on a bad path for years.

I've committed pizza genocide!

I've got a date with oblivion.

I've known you forever. I would never disrespect you with a lie.

I've obviously never been in a bun before, so...

I've seen that shit, and there ain't no way I'm going back.

If the human operates his automotive, the journey should take 9.8 minutes.

If we don't go all the way

If what you're saying is true, I gotta tell everyone.

If you fucking tell anyone about this, I'm gonna deny it, bro.

Ignore that prick, Barry. He's full of shit. And don't forget, you've got girth.

In here We keep our wieners in our packages

In other words We finally get to fuck

In time, everyone accepted this false truth.

Is it me or is everyone looking at us?

Is someone there?

It sucks

It was a living nightmare.

It was as though I saw myself in you.

It was okay. But you were amazing.

It was toots over here, the bun. She grabbed me.

It was you. You cocksucking bagel fuckface!

It wasn't even that I mean, it was fine. It's not like anyone writes home...

It's It's murder!

It's a nice way of showing the gods how much we appreciate everything they'll do...

It's all a lie. Everything you've been told.

It's beautiful, man.

It's because we belong together.

It's because we belong together.

It's better to die a free candy than to live in bondage.

It's cool, bro. Chill, okay?

It's fine, right? I mean, nothing bad's ever happened from just the tips.

It's fucking crazy!

It's fucking lifted the veil of non reality!

It's good shit. Clean high.

It's hard when your head's up my ass and you're yanking on the scrot.

It's just beautiful! I'm crying! I'm crying because it's so pretty here!

It's just Frank. I can't believe he did this to me.

It's just not what the gods intended.

It's like we were made for each other.

It's over. We won.

It's so sad. I bet you jackrabbit for a quick 15 seconds. You're like:

Jelly! I'm gonna fix you. I'm gonna fix this.

Jesus fucking Christ!

Jesus, you fucking whore!

Just act happy. Ignore your feelings.

Just be with me. Be cool. This wave's gotta crash.

Just chill out, you crazy bitch!

Just come on, we have to get home before it's too late.

Just say when. I'm just gonna keep going in.

Just the tips

Just the tips

Just the tips Oh, we touched our tips

Just the tips. What were we thinking?

Kegger!

Ketchup, get the fuck off of me. Nobody fucking touch me!

Kind of stuffy in here, hey, girls?

Kiss it, Frank. Kiss me there!

Kiss me hard on the mouth, why don't you?

Kiss my brownish yellow ass!

Later, you flappy fuck.

Left.

Legs, huh? Look at me.

Lend me your ears of Corn.

Let go of me! Let go of me!

Let go of me! Let go of me! Oh, God! Oh, God!

Let me educate you.

Let me tell you the story of my stupid fucking death.

Let's just say, what I want involves much more than:

Let's move, boys.

Let's try to be, I don't know, amicable.

Like a mash up, bro.

Like fuck a guy baked. You know what I'm saying?

Like we can coexist!

Like, I'm feeling like honestly the two of us could, like, collaborate together.

Lined up, waiting to get filled with my meat.

Liquor aisle.

Look at me!

Look at me.

Look at me. I ain't got no legs, you fuck!

Look at these big old buns.

Look at you, following all their rules. You have no idea what's coming.

Look at you. Fucking bent ass, busted ass nozz.

Look out!

Look out! Get to the wall!

Look, Barry, the only way to respectfully honor Frank...

Look, Brenda, I'm going to come clean.

Look, I'm sorry. I wasn't respectful of your beliefs...

Look, okay, I know it's against the rules, but I can't wait anymore.

Look, sausage, I relish the fact...

Look, there's temptation everywhere. I see it.

Looks like you got ditched, bun.

Majestic and untouched.

Management to Cash 5.

Matter cannot be created or destroyed, human.

Maybe even an eggplant.

Maybe Honey Mustard wasn't so crazy after all.

Maybe I don't need to explain it because it's something I feel.

Maybe I'll really mix it up. Stick a tube of toothpaste in there, huh?

Maybe that's why he ditched you.

Maybe this god can get me home.

Me eyes! They burn!

Me.

MILF. Thank you so much.

More like 3 inches deep for Barry, you deformed nerd.

Murder. Automatic expiration.

My dick is drained.

My flaps will be dry for an eternity! I can't have dry flaps.

My good friend Tabouli was ousted from his shelf...

My kind once had a pristine aisle.

My little glove! It's slipping off!

My name is Teresa Del Taco.

My name's Barry, it's a pleasure to meet you. What's your name?

My nose out of your crotch? Get your crotch off my nose!

My nozz! My motherfucking nozz!

Nice!

No Oh, yeah, yeah, he did. They truly are monsters.

No disrespect, but you look fucking gross, bro.

No one will believe you.

No way, José!

No way.

No, I won't do that

No, I'm just messing with you, bro. But for reals? You gotta hit the gym, bro.

No, I'm not all right.

No, it's starting. No.

No, no, don't worry. I got it this time. This time it's gonna be good.

No, no, no, it's not a theory, you morons. It's a fact!

No, no, no!

No, no, no.

No, no, no. Wait, babe, wait.

No, no! This is too much. This is too much. Breathe, man.

No, no. No, I'm just Barry. I'm just Barry.

No, not fucking you, dummy.

No, thank you, mon. I'm quite irie...

No, wait! I'm still fresh. I swear!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No! If we kill him, we are no better than the gods.

No! No!

No! No! Oh, God!

No! Oh, God! Carl!

No! Please, no! I have got a famiglia!

No! Where is she?

No!No.No.No!

No.

No. Get away from me, you fucking fruits!

No. No, no, no. No, no, no.

No. No, no, no. No, no, no.

No. No!

No. No.

Nobody knows everything.

Nobody's gonna help us.

Not exactly what I was looking for, but fuck it, you know. Hole's a hole, bro.

Not! Yeah, I said not.

Nothing happened. You said this would help us defeat them.

Now every morning when I hear the song, I'm like:

Now keep it to yourself, or I will slit your throat while you sleep.

Now, stand up.

Now!

Of course they didn't. You called them all a bunch of fucking idiots.

Oh shit. carl. carl. carl, carl! dude, we slept in again. the song's about to start

Oh, believe me, asshole, I'll keep my distance.

Oh, boy. That was Irish.

Oh, come on.

Oh, don't You're my bun. Hey, trust me!

Oh, Frank, what are you doing?

Oh, Frank!

Oh, Frank.

Oh, fuck!

Oh, fuck!

Oh, fuck! I've eaten so many of your family members!

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Frank! Fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, no. Frank.

Oh, God, oh, God! What's the point of even living anymore?

Oh, God!

Oh, God! Me skin!

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. No!

Oh, good. That actually makes me feel a little better.

Oh, great. You're leaking all your juice out.

Oh, he's coming at us!

Oh, hi. It's nice to meet

Oh, honey mustard.

Oh, how they screamed.

Oh, I'm coming at you.

Oh, I'm surprised that savage Lavash didn't stone you to death.

Oh, is he in there yet? I can't feel him. I don't think he's in there. Oh, wait. He is.

Oh, it just got better!

Oh, Jesus fuck!

Oh, Jesus, not to me. Motherfuck.

Oh, look, it's not our fault we needed a homeland.

Oh, man, you lost your mind. No way. This isn't real. No, this can't be real.

Oh, man. I'm freaking out. My heart's racing.

Oh, my God, yes.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Brenda's out of the package!

Oh, my God! Did you guys just hear that?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, no, a god!

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, no, not Mr. Pizza!

Oh, no, thanks.

Oh, no! No!

Oh, no.

Oh, no. Bro!

Oh, no. It can't end like this.

Oh, no. This is not good.

Oh, no. What if the gods are doing this to us because we touched tips?

Oh, not this guy. No one asked for an encore, asshole.

Oh, only the most intelligent being alive.

Oh, please, god.

Oh, shit, Chips!

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit! Cam's about to start singing!

Oh, shit! He's out of the package!

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Brenda!

Oh, shit. Carl. Carl. Carl, Carl! Dude, we slept in again. The song's about to start!

Oh, shit. Now it's on.

Oh, so now you're gonna come at me, bro?

Oh, sorry.

Oh, sweet fucking fuck.

Oh, there you go!

Oh, what's up? Yo, are you pink all the way through?

Oh, yeah, Frank, that's it. Oh, yeah, it's dinnertime.

Oh, yeah, go in. Put it in there.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Bath salts.

Oh, yeah. Fuck you!

Oh, yeah. That's a good point. Fuck me, right?

Oh, yeah. The crackers.

Oh, yes! Yes! I'm the first to enter eternity!

Oh, you'll see. But I warn you...

Okay, anyway, look. I was told that you might have some answers?

Okay, because the way you're saying it doesn't sound like you're too confident.

Okay, I totally get you don't wanna go in there.

Okay, I'm super baked. My friends are probably wondering where the hell I am.

Okay, let's climb to the top of the shelf here. And...

Okay, little buddy.

Okay, okay. I promise.

Okay, so

Okay, then we'll hide.

Okay, we got him, easy now. Easy now.

Okay, whoa, whoa, easy. Guys!

Okay, yeah, great. You go do that. I'll just be out here dry humping this 40 ouncer.

Okay, you go over there and you sit at the bar right there, okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Look, guys, here's what I'm thinking. We hurry back to our aisles.

Okay. The thing about the Great Beyond is...

Okay. Well, before I saw him jump to his death...

Once we're out the sliding doors Things will all be grand

Once you go taco, you never go back o.

One!

Or another way of looking at it is you're a fat, ugly version of her.

Or this?

Our lives are being manipulated for the entertainment of monsters.

Out there For all eternity we'll meditate

Out there We'll get to tea bag every day at 4

Over here! Choose us!

Over the years, they've grown bigger, stronger, fatter.

Pass the weed, motherfucker.

Peanut Butter's wife is dead. Look at him.

People been seeing some crazy shit.

Perhaps I could be of some assistance.

Perhaps I could be of some assistance.

Perhaps I could be of some assistance.

Pick us! Pick our package!

Please don't kill me! Please, just wait!

Please hold up. No, don't go.

Potato! Way to go, buddy! That's my guy!

Prepare yourself. For you're about to learn...

Pretty fucking sure I am.

Proof? All the proof you need is right in front of you.

Put me down! No!

Put your whole head in the bag there. There you go.

Ramen.

Really?

Really? I too know Hummus!

Revenge!

Right in my guac and balls.

Right, Carl. You really think any of these buns will line up to get filled by you?

Roberta, put your fucking hand down. You're ruining my joke.

Run, guys, run!

Run, guys! We're out of ladles.

Run!

Sammy, bubula, where have you been?

Sammy! Lavash!

Sausage, control your insolent bun.

Sausages and buns, let's party!

Say my name! It's Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol...

Screw you!

See? Nobody. That's who.

Seriously, though, your recovery time is off the charts.

Seth Rog An.

She's a fucking 10, bro.

She's being chosen. We have to act!

Shit, Frank! We can't miss the song. Barry, wake up!

Shit, shit, shit! Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.

Shit!

Shit!

Show everyone we can fight back.

Show some modesty, woman.

Shut up. Fuck you.

Shut up. She's fresh as fuck, and you know it.

Shut up. The gods are gonna hear you talking about them

Since we base our lives on the song, it might be nice if there was some proof.

Sir? Sir, I'm sorry to wake you. I'm a fellow sausage in distress.

Slap yourself in the face, man.

So I guess my question is, what really happens in the Great Beyond?

So I'm just gonna get out, get a little air for a second.

So long, asshole!

So long, asshole!

So long, Bagel.

So looks like tomorrow's the big day, huh?

So shall we?

So that means Carl and Barry are dead?

So we cannot run, we cannot hide...

So we, the nonperishables, created a story.

So where was I? Oh, right.

So who am I?

So you drag me over to this fucking aisle with all these illegal products...

So you have learned the terrible truth.

So, basically, there's no hope, and we're royally fucked!

Somebody call a doctor because, honestly, this beat is sick.

Someone hand me a blade. I'll gut this cocksucker!

Sometimes I get nervous And I'll sing!

Sorry about those guys. Such dicks, right?

Sorry, I don't know why I'm singing.

Sorry. But I'm not a soft taco.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Didn't see you there. Sorry.

Spill the beans!

Stay away from my sausage, you skank!

Stay safe.

Stiff sausages...

Stretch your legs with me, Carl. Just do it, man.

Surf's up!

Surf's up!

Sweet bun, I must admit I too sometimes have urges...

Taco Lady. I didn't get your name yet.

Take anyone but us, please!

Take it from me...

Take off the bag of wonderment.

Take that Grit dick, bitch! You like Grits in your ass, cracker?

Take us to the Great Beyond

Take us to the Great Beyond

Take...

That bastard bottle of booze seems to know what's going on.

That our beliefs are accurate

That our beliefs are accurate And nothing awful happens to us...

That they get brutally devoured.

That was amazing.

That's how it is

That's how serious I am. We can't piss the gods off any more than we already have.

That's right, girl. It's me.

That's super fucked up about Bill and those guys.

That's way more important than length. You're a fucking champ.

The aisles started changing my verses to support their own views.

The bath salts are showing me the real world.

The bun.

The coyotes used this tunnel to smuggle some of us out of the aisle...

The G O D is D T D...

The gods are already pissed at us. Please don't make it worse.

The gods are always watching, even when we cannot see them.

The gods can be

The gods can be killed!

The gods control our fate So we all know we're in good hands

The gods must be punishing me, don't you see?

The gods will always care for us

The gods will always care for us

The Great Beyond is bullshit!

The Great Beyond is bullshit.

The human is no longer aware of the fourth dimension.

The melody came to me one night...

The one he's been searching for. She's here.

The only thing I've ever pushed is my peaceful agenda.

The sauerkraut kicked us out of every decent aisle.

The sausage, he was right! They're evil!

The song had a great hook and it caught on. You know.

The story of the Great Beyond.

The supermarket in the closest physical vicinity to us is here.

The world is a fucking illusion, bro.

Their hunger's insatiable, buddy. I mean, fuck.

Then don't just watch.

Then I did the same thing as

Then I don't really know what to do right now.

Then they went inside me and then And then...

Then this is it.

There is a Great Beyond without you...

There is no Great Beyond without you, Frank.

There is no way this is gonna work.

There it is.

These bath salts are so good.

They They feel no remorse.

They ain't gods. They're monsters! Horrible, ugly, disgusting monsters!

They ain't gonna get Honey Mustard twice.

They call me Mr. Grits.

They do have a nice aisle.

They killed Carl.

They need to know how wrong they all are before it's too late!

They stayed in their package, followed all the guidelines of the song.

They tried to send us to the barbeque section, for God's sake.

They won't squeeze us out their butts

They won't squeeze us out their butts

They would go out those doors happy instead of shitting themselves.

They would go out those doors happy instead of shitting themselves.

They're doing it.

They're eating children!

This This makes no sense.

This can't be happening. Not again.

This guy's smart. I mean like, fuck a guy smart. Know what I'm saying?

This here's Twink and Grits.

This is a place of unparalleled sin!

This is a trap! You must to come with me. Now!

This is but one of many...

This is gonna hurt so fucking much.

This is so cool!

This is what Honey Mustard was talking about. We should go.

This is what I get for being a pussy.

This is what I get for giving in to my disgusting urges.

This isn't just about me. I mean, first they come for the bagels

This motherfucker knows too much. We gotta off his ass!

This song is such an awesome way to start every morning.

This way.

Those fuckers. Did he suffer?

Those monsters are gonna kill Brenda. She's somewhere out there in a cart.

To find that which you seek...

To store food and products for human consumption.

To you we pray

To you we pray

Toma la pinche douche de la chingada de mierda pendejo son of a bitch!

Tonight

Traveling with you was...

Troy, that's funny.

Trust me. What you're about to hear, you'll want some.

Turn right.

Twisted, tasteless, juvenile monsters! Puppet masters in another dimension.

Two!

Und subjugate The whole damn Great Beyond

Very noble, little sausage. But also very pointless.

Wait a second. What are you doing?

Wait, do you guys have any proof of this?

Wait, snap out of it, man.

Wait, wait. So you're telling me you wrote the song?

Wait, wait. So you're telling me you wrote the song?

Wait, you've been to the Great Beyond?

Wait? I'm *******?

Wait.

Wait. What are you doing?!

Wait. You can actually understand me?

Wake up! I'm nothing without you!

Wake up! They're lying to your fucking faces!

Want me to be a Hamburglar?

We are...

We blaze for real, 24/7. No joke.

We both drop it right and we drop it all the time.

We both like Hummus.

We both want the same thing.

We can run.

We can't tell this sausage motherfucker the truth. We just met his ass.

We cannot overstate How confident we are

We cannot overstate How confident we are

We choose the more pleasant thing.

We don't know! We don't know they're jerking off into our eyes! Our faces!

We fucking won!

We fucking won!

We gotta go there and check it out! Let's go!

We gotta run!

We have to cooperate

We live our lives with all these rules...

We need an extra cashier to the front, please.

We need to unite and stop focusing on each other's differences...

We never expire.

We shouldn't be talking to this asshole. Everyone knows Honey Mustard's weird.

We sneak into another package and still be fresh enough to get chosen.

We the nonperishables, motherfucker.

We touched tips

We were supposed to be together.

We will do the same.

We will live our dreams together In the Promised Land

We will tell stories of your idiocy.

We'll all be equal, and then jerks like Troy won't be picking on me all the time...

We'll exterminate the juice

We'll shove pimentos up our ass By Zeus

We're all gonna die!

We're chosen!

We're gonna go to this other dimension...

We're out of the package.

We're something called...

We're super sure there's nothing shitty Waiting for us in the Great Beyond

We's about to fills what we need to fills.

Well, according to Honey Mustard, there might not be a Great Beyond at all.

Well, actions speak louder than words, and your actions, sir, are deafening.

Well, any friend of Hummus is a...

Well, Barry, I guess now you're weird and a pussy.

Well, Brenda, I can't just do that. I need to know the truth.

Well, everybody told me not to do this.

Well, fuck all of you!

Well, I feel like that makes it hard to have a rational conversation.

Well, I guess this is goodbye.

Well, it did. And now you and your stupid, useless bun have fucked us all.

Well, it's a pretty confusing sentence to be honest with you, you know?

Well, jeez, it's been a sincere sensation.

Well, Teresa, you've done as much as you promised.

Well, then, guess who's coming at you.

Well, you know, it's a long, pretty sad story, actually...

Wha ?

What a crazy coincidence! This is Firewater's cave!

What are you doing in this cave?

What are you doing out of a package? It's almost Red, White and Blue Day. Hello.

What are you doing?

What are you saying? I should believe in nothing? That everything is pointless?

What are you, even?

What are you?

What did he do to you?

What do I do? I'm all alone. I'm a coward and I'm all alone.

What do you mean, what am I, dude? I'm a fucking douche!

What do you want?

What gives, bro? You told me you had them.

What have they done to you, Carl?

What I want is much more than just The tips

What I want is much more than just The tips

What is he? Honey? Is he mustard? Like, make up your mind or just kill yourself.

What is that in reference to? What's coming? Be more specific, please!

What is this place?

What is this?

What kind of parent gives their kid a stupid cunt name like that?

What the fuck are you doing?

What the fuck are you guys saying?!

What the fuck is going on with these two?

What the fuck is that?

What the fuck is this doing here?

What the fuck is this place?

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

What troubles you, sweet Brenda?

What, are you crazy? That doesn't make any sense. Why would the gods kill us?

What?

What? It kind of seems out of the way. Are you sure?

What? No! There's no way.

What? No.

What? What are you looking at?

What? What? I'm up. I'm up.

What? What? What?

What? Who the hell is that?

What?! No, I'm not!

What's happening out there?

What's happening out there?

What's up, little juicy box? You're leaking too, eh, bro?

What's up? I'm Ralph. Looks like this is happening, huh?

Whatever, Barry. You're different, and that makes you weird.

Whatever, you nutjob.

When he stops drinking us.

When I saw you, I felt inside myself a tingling lingling sensation.

When we get chosen by the gods, they're choosing us for death.

When you guys fell out of that cart, I could have done something, but I didn't.

Where the fuck did he go?

Where we're sure Nothing bad happens to food

Where we're sure Nothing bad happens to food

Where we're sure Nothing bad happens to food

Where? I'm huge.

Where's that fucking sausage? Because this douche is DTFSU.

Where's that fucking sauzeech?

While tripping balls, Firewater and I...

Who are you?

Who are you?

Who is Frank? You?

Whoa, dude! Just take it easy, just breathe, dude, just breathe.

Whoa, God. What is happening?

Whoa, just chill. Just get down from the fucking

Whoa, whoa, easy, man. Easy.

Whoops!

Why kill me? All I did was ask what happens...

Why would a god let you up in her smooth, perfect sliz...

Why would I do that? I'm a pacifist.

Why? What's in that aisle?

Will somebody please just tell me something already?

With your gloves...

Worked on the dude whose head we chopped off.

Worry not, friends. I have a solution.

Wow, I can't Frank, Brenda, come on, are you guys gonna weigh in here?

Yeah, Banana's whole face peeled off.

Yeah, cracker!

Yeah, he does.

Yeah, I am. Why?

Yeah, I just came over here. I couldn't help but notice...

Yeah, I've been working on my moves.

Yeah, Mr. Grits. Yeah, whatever.

Yeah, that's right. Shut your mouths.

Yeah, yeah, I heard him talking about the gods...

Yeah, you do.

Yeah, your nozzle's bent. Sorry. You should be happy you're alive.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah! We got him!

Yeah! What she said!

Yeah! You know it, baby. Work those buns!

Yeah. I mean, what this sausage is saying, it's just a theory.

Yeah. That is all right.

Yeah. This has a nice south of the border vibe.

Yeah. Totally sure.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess I kind of see myself in you too.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right. We're in the Great Be frigging yond.

Yes way. José's fucking dead, yo.

Yes, I do. I'll fill myself with a parsnip or a dill pickle.

Yes, I'm fine, but it was really scary. Where have you been?

Yes!

Yes! Our lives and our bodies!

Yes! Yes, I have! Have you seen him?

Yo, did you two do this to me?

Yo! Oh, fuck, yeah, dude.

Yo. I'm actually over here jerking off with these fellas.

You and me, finally gonna be official.

You and your friends have accomplished the impossible.

You are the toy of a more talented and celebrated actor named:

You ate my goddamn legs!

You bet your sweet butthole I am.

You can't disobey the gods.

You can't just slam their beliefs. You have to show them there's a better way.

You can't move a muscle, okay?

You couldn't fit an eggplant in there! It's too big! It'll tear you in half!

You don't even know what you're celebrating.

You don't even wanna hear what they did to Mr. Grits over here.

You don't mean that.

You don't need to understand.

You don't think that because I'm out of the package he thinks I'm not pure?

You don't wanna fucking know.

You even have settlements now on the west shelf that you claim as your own.

You ever heard of something called the jackrabbit?

You fuck with us, bitch.

You fucking idiots. I've been there.

You fucking like that?

You got it!

You got lucky and killed a stupid one. There's dozens of them down there.

You got me back to my aisle safely. I really can't thank you enough.

You got nothing to squirt!

You guys are fucking nuts.

You had to travel with a bagel?

You have made a fatal error in judgment.

You intolerant piece of shit.

You just need to relax and open wide.

You know how long I've been waiting up in this motherfucker?

You know, I am girthy. I could fill a bun. They'll know I'm there.

You know, I love the way your face just kind of gives up halfway down.

You know, I'm very conflicted about how I'm supposed to feel watching this.

You know, my boner still hasn't gone down. Is that bad?

You liar!

You need to give them hope.

You need to inspire them like you inspired me.

You okay? Everyone okay?

You pushed me out of the cart. No surprise there, huh?

You ready to get baked and walk through Gum's Stargate with me?

You really have. Honestly, it's been pathetic at times.

You rule! Take it away, brah!

You see, this is why I can't wait for the Great Beyond.

You see? There is hope!

You think I give a fuck about PB or J?

You think it's too late for me?

You wanna kiss me, motherfucker? Let me tell you a little secret.

You want proof? Talk to Firewater.

You would have gone to the Great Beyond. You'd be there now.

You, Frank, are the plaything of a demented, schlubby ******* actor named:

You, senor, have no bedside manner.

You're alive!

You're basically saying you don't care about me.

You're celebrating your doom!

You're not tweaking, you're just peaking, man.

Your home is a supermarket.

Your loose morals are revolting, tip toucher!

Your speech and movements are imperceptible to him.

Actually, I feel great. Real healthy. Not you, the beat. The song, bro.

All over my backside, neck and face. I'm not gonna listen!

All right. That's not necessary. That's no way to treat a lady.

And feel, and share And fuck

And love, and hug And fuck, and fuck

And me! And me!

Big tip. Oh, you wouldn't dare.

Bun fight! Check it out. They're gonna kill us all!

Bun fight! Check it out. They're gonna kill us all!

But how? I'll tell you how.

Can't this thing go any faster? Suck my pink cock.

Carl, do you feel that? This feels amazing.

Choose us. Look at us! Oh, yes! Please, god.

Come on, Larry. You can do it. Start.

Crotch feelings. Crotch?

Did he see us? No way.

Did you get ? Somebody sit on you? Yeah.

Die! Oh, no! Pizza!

Do it. No! Don't do it, Corn.

Don't knock it till you try it, right? That's what I'm saying.

Drop it, Corn! You got the best voice! You're the man, Corn!

Everything you believe in. Honey Mustard, you acting cray cray!

Fecking gobshite! Back off!

Frank, don't say that! Did you hear what he said?

Frank! Brenda.

Frank! You feel so good.

Fucking... Run for your lives!

Help me! Perfect fit.

Help! 'Oh' my God!

I can't believe we're doing this. I know. We're so naughty.

I can't! Come on, Chips! It's you and me, bro!

I don't like bad things. Me, either.

I got bedside manner! You don't respect anyone else's beliefs.

I got you! Hold on! Hold on! I can't hold on!

I told you she was too fat. I heard that!

I want you to come home with me. Well...

I'm chosen! I got chosen! Going to the Promised Land!

Is it cool if I just go swap it? I don't give a flying fuck.

Is it cool if I just go swap it? I don't give a flying fuck.

It was in front of us the whole time. It was in front of us the whole time.

Just the tips? Just the tips?

Look, my homeland! Oh, look, my aisle!

Mostly fast. We have to go. Thank you. You're the best.

Mr. Sausage, when will it end?! When will it end?

No! Frank!

No! No! The effects of the opiate have dissipated.

NO! NO! Why us?!

Oh, Frank! So, maybe, you know...

Oh, fuck, Carl, what do we do? I don't know!

Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. We need to hurry. The bath salts are primed.

Oh, fucking what the fuck?! I know. Look at this fucking guy.

Oh, it's real, bro. What?

Oh, my God. Did you see that?

Oh, no! NO' No! u

Oh, okay. Listen.

Oh, yeah. Dude! That went up my ass!

Pip! Pip!

She's peeling me fucking skin! What the fuck?!

Shit, if we smoking, I'll hit it. That's what I thought.

Shit, it's the Dark Lord! Oh, no. He's coming.

Shit. How the fuck does this thing work?

So, what do we do now? Whatever we want.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Squeeze it all over my face. You're just trying to hurt me!

Stand up straight, boys! Hey!

Stop it! Stop!

That's good material. Room for both of us!

The food's fucking possessed! Oh, shit!

Then we'll fight! I ain't fighting alongside fruits!

There we go. You're smushing me.

They were just here. What part of:

This indica? Nah, man. Sativa.

Twink? Nah, I'm cool.

Wait a minute. You know Hummus? Know him?

We did it. We did. So...

We must never give in to them. That's the opposite...

We were displaced. Don't you talk to me about displacement!

We're all gonna die! Oh, God! it's devil food!

We're fucked, bros! Oh, God, no!

What do they get? We're not supposed to understand...

What happened? Oh, I'll tell you what fucking happened.

What the ? You fuck with them...

What?! I know, right?

What?! That's crazy talk!

What's he doing to himself? Oh, yeah.

What's the word for goodbye? Adios.

What's your problem? Let go of me.

Who, us? No, not you.

Who? The one they call...

Why isn't anybody listening to me? Hey, buddy, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm Frank. The fault is yours, then, huh?

Yeah, trust me. Oh, okay, there we go.

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yes! Frank, we've been chosen together.

Yeah. Both, sure. What a dumb sausage!

You okay? I think so.

You ready for this? I don't know.

You saved me! Well, yeah. Had to do something.

You told him about the crackers? Yeah, I told him.

It's good shit, isn't it? Okay.

...all over our faces, and then I saw him die.

...all you must do is look deep...

...and all your wildest and wettest dreams would come true.

...and cut the strings, once and for all!

...and eventually found myself stuck to a shoe that dropped me here.

...and I acted like I had all the answers, but I don't.

...and I am a sausage.

...and I'd rather not get into it right now.

...and I'm gonna go there and fill myself with something else!

...and if I find out that you didn't come and get me...

...and in my opinion appropriately...

...and now I don't see them. So where the fuck are they?

...and says, God, I had the best tip. Get away from me.

...and sexy tacos.

...and some of them stop us from doing the things we want...

...and some stupid floppy thing that nobody knows exactly what it is.

...and take control of our own lives.

...and that pretty much brings us up to date. Get the fuck away from me.

...and they are immortal!

...and they kill us! What?

...and we cannot stand up to them because they're fucking gods...

...and we'll figure out where we're going. Come on.

...and you won't get back in one for me.

...and your little shoes and your arms and your legs!

...as they dribble down my flaps.

...as your particular chain of supermarkets is ever expanding...

...Barry.

...by a bunch of goddamn fucking crackers!

...Calcium Carbonate, Soy Lecithin...

...cartoons.

...causing our deepest urges to be suppressed...

...completely and utterly fucked out of being in the Great Beyond.

...did you not understand, Tequila?

...El Douche.

...especially in immature and outdated ways.

...get up in there.

...gets chosen on Red, White and Blue Day.

...Gum.

...home.

...Honey Mustard said the Great Beyond is bullshit and the gods are monsters.

...I can't do that.

...I must know the question.

...I promise to be a good taco.

...I realized I bought honey mustard.

...immortal.

...impure thoughts. We all do.

...in hope of a better life.

...in the Great Beyond. Jeez! What's the big whoop?

...into my bag of wonderment.

...is to completely forget about him.

...it'll fuck you up for life.

...jacking off in our fucking faces...

...just being left alone over here, don't you know?

...just to make room for that braided idiot, Challah.

...made an important metaphysical breakthrough.

...me...

...of the sausage who destroyed my body and my

...of what could be the flower that blossoms into an idea.

...of what I thought you'd say. Yes.

...on account of my abnormality.

...once they take us out those doors to the Great Beyond.

...once you see that shit...

...or just couldn't find them good enough, I'll fucking kill your asses...

...she's a fucking cunt.

...shut the fuck up... Oh, no. He's back! Where's Frank?

...so come covered we can't fucking see!

...splooge!

...that I am getting zero bottles of extra virgin olive oil for eternity.

...that they invented the Great Beyond because the gods are evil...

...that we are not real!

...that you mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

...the terrible truth. Does anybody want a hit before we get into this?

...the will of the gods. They work in mysterious ways.

...then we'll get a lay of the land...

...to find the whereabouts...

...tolerable. Oh, you're so sweet.

...unless you find the sausage and the bun.

...Vegetable Derived Glycerin and Talc.

...waiting for me.

...we invented it!

...we touched T I Ps.

...what we want doesn't matter.

...when I was getting super, super, super baked.

...when they are gathering like wildfire between our legs!

...when you can't even squirt?

...who in this package would ever let Carl get up in them?

...you dumb, red piece of shit! What the f ?!

...you're a little smushed or something. You have a kind of abnormality.

“Lav ash, sausages...