The Cabin in the Woods (2011) Edit

A couple more minutes, who knows what might've happened?

A giant bong in your father's van?

A ritual sacrifice?

Accounting's over there. Ask them.

Ah, shit.

All right.

All right.

All right. Last chance.

All right. That means that congratulations go to Maintenance!

All right. We got any climbing gear? Ropes?

All suffer and die at the hands of..

All that shit we were playing with.

All zombied like him..

Also, Bennett doesn't know it by heart..

Always someone looking to sell that plot.

Am I on speakerphone?

An army of nightmare creatures.

And et, so I hope this will be readable.

And he will bind them with ancient logics.

And I do not get like that.

And I think I can get it to go down.

And if Holden's as cute as Curt says he is..

And it has changed over the years..

And it takes me about 20 minutes to get a fucking beer.

And large fucking guns, and those things are gonna pay.

And let us get it over with.

And maybe a five foot differential on the other side.

And now he's calling his friend an egghead?

And since when does Curt pull this alpha male bullshit?

And so are we if you don't get this under control.

And stuffed the coals in.

And the cleanup on them is a nightmare.

And the water rushing in, and the zombies..

And then there's something in Latin.

And they will not be..

And we'll just drive. There's gotta be another road.

And you have no pants.

And you think of all the pain and the..

Another way out of here. It won't work.

Any word from downstairs?

April fourth.

Are you feeling lonely, Marty?

Are you kidding? Classic denouement. When the van hits the lake..

Army of nightmares, huh?

As in..

As it ever was.

As it ever was.

As it's yours to be offered up to them.

As Judah and Matthew proved on those travelers.

As long as the kids do as they're told.

As long as they accept our sacrifice, they remain below.

Ask me that again, only slower.

At all?

Baby, come on.

Bathe them in the crimson of..

Because I happen to have two tickets to your favorite..

Best hands on the team. He's a sweet guy.

Boo.

Bring 'em down.

Brother, perhaps, fighting against brother in that war?

But child proofed how? Gates and stuff?

But cutting the flesh makes him have a husband's bulge..

But I was thinking, you know, maybe.. What is this?

But I'm coming back here.

But in the end, they don't transgress..

But it has always required youth.

But know this.

But she only stopped when Papa cut her belly..

But she was missing an arm.

But she's still alive.

But Sitterson does like to be called ma'am.

But the other rituals have all failed.

But then it's fixed.

But they are nothing compared to what came before.

But they're our zombified, pain worshipping, backwoods idiots.

But this is Zombie Redneck Torture Family, see?

But we're packing this!

But we're recommending a fifty milligram bump..

But we're still..

But what if you don't pull it off?

But you're way blonder than she is.

But you've gotta give it everything.

But, I do know some stuff.

But, I'm still grateful that you're not a creep.

By the numbers, man. You got us started off just right.

Calm down.

Can we not talk about people in pieces any more tonight?

Can't believe this, man. This ain't happening.

Chem department keeps their end up.

Chem department, I need 500 CCs of Thorazine..

Chips in our kids' heads so they won't get lost.

Cleanse them. Cleanse the world of their ignorance and sin.

Cleanup says the prep team missed one of the kid's stashes.

Close.

Come on in, guys! Come on in. You're welcome.

Come on, Jules. Life is risk.

Come on, like you wouldn't want a piece of that.

Come on!

Come on!

Come on. Get in.

Come on. Give us a hug.

Come on. Go in that room.

Come on. This is why we came here.

Conspiracy?

Control to Demolition.

Control? Yeah, go ahead.

Cops will never pull over a man with a huge bong in his car.

Curt, what the fuck?

Curt!

Curt?

Curt's gonna thank me. And so will you..

Curt's just drunk.

Dana, come on!

Dana, come on!

Dana, you fetching minx!

Dana.

Dana.

Dana.

Dana.

Dana.

Dare.

Dead bitch!

Dead ends at the old Buckner place.

Diary of Anna Patience Buckner, 1903.

Did I get a little beer on your shirt?

Did you say you have Pop Tarts?

Did you see who they picked?

Do I lose points if I tell you I'm having a pretty nice time?

Do it!

Do not read the Latin.

Do we wanna go down?

Do you know if we get the overtime bonus on this one?

Do you wanna spend the weekend in jail?

Does it really matter if we see her..

Does the director. Do they know about this downstairs?

Does this mean you're not in the betting pool this year? Big money.

Dolor ignio annivos.

Dolor sublimis caro.

Don't even.. You have women's issues.

Don't hold back.

Don't kill the gorgeous man! We're endangered!

Don't push me around.

Don't spill on me!

Don't take this lightly, boy.

Downstairs doesn't care about Japan. The director trusts us.

Drive as far as we can into the forest and we go on foot from there.

Dude, be thankful.

Dude, seriously, your cousin is into some weird shit.

Dude, she did the drawers.

Dude.

Dumb blonde. Very artistic.

Ended more quickly.

Engaging pheromone mists.

Engineering, we got a room change.

Enough!

Every other branch has air balled.

Everybody get your suits on. In 10 minutes, we're heading to the lake.

Everybody ready? Yeah!

Everybody..

Everyone knows you can't trust Swedes.

Everything in our stable is remnant of the old world..

Everything's filed or recorded or blogged, right?

Faster than that.

Father was cross with me and said I lacked the true faith.

Five of them.

For being young.

For Jules.

From the diary.

Fuck you!

Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck! We're running out of time!

Fuck! What the fuck?

Fucking his student or breaking up with her by email?

Fucking puppet dance!

Fucking zombie arm.

Get in the van.

Getting back..

Giant evil gods.

Globally position my ass, man.

Go someplace for one goddamn weekend where they can't..

Go, go, go!

Goddamn, that was close!

Gods.

Going away.

Good man.

Good work, zombie arm.

Good, okay, 'cause I need you calm.

Gosh, they're both so enticing.

Gotcha.

Gotta go. Work to do.

Gotta keep the customer satisfied.

Great.

Greatest show on Earth.

Guess how we're slowing down cognition.

Gurovsky. Now this is way more interesting.

Guys, listen to this.

Guys?

Guys. Guys!

Guys..

Hadley, what is going on?

Hadley!

Hadley?

Have you ever seen a moose before?

Have you gone gray?

He hit something. There's nothing. What'd he hit?

He's got a husband bulge.

He's not gonna kill us

He's on full academic scholarship..

He's supposed to be drooling and instead he almost makes us?

Hello?

Hello?

Help me! Help me!

Here. It's easier with this.

Hey can't be punished.

Hey, Holden.

Hey, let's not jump to any conclusions there.

Hey, man.

Hey, no. No.

Hey, what do you got?

Hey, what is that? What?

Hey, you were right.

Hey.

Hey.

Hold fire!

Hold up!

Hold up!

Holden! I don't think there's gonna be..

Honey, that's not okay.

How about we switch?

How are you?

How can the ritual be complete?

How can you wager on this when you control the outcome?

How cold? Is it worth it?

How did you know?

How does that help us right now? What?

How long do I have to stay down here?

How old do you think I am?

How's that work for you?

Humanity...

Hurry up with the very fabulous. I'm getting insecure about it now.

I am never gonna see a merman. Ever.

I can't. Get down to the basement.

I dare you to make out with that wolf.

I dare you to make out with..

I dare you.

I didn't even like hearing that.

I don't care if it's not protocol. Are you fucking high?

I don't know, but there's more of them.

I don't know, I don't know. What do you think?

I don't know.

I don't know. Tonight was solid. I don't know.

I don't need to. I already know the answer.

I don't think Curt even has a cousin.

I don't think it knows about money.

I don't think so. He's really pushy.

I don't understand.

I don't wanna..

I guess it'll have to come off, huh?

I had kind of an internal debate about showing you the mirror.

I have a theory about all this.

I have found it..

I have the harbinger on line two.

I haven't seen the footage. Word's just going around

I hope this is the right road.

I just colored it, in fact.

I knew what I was getting into.

I know the railroad's coming through here any day, now.

I learned it from watching you!

I learned it from you, okay?

I mean it.

I mean, I don't usually fall back on.. It's women's issues.

I mean, I've never..

I mean, there's gotta be..

I never did buy that ring.

I prayed that she might find faith..

I probably wouldn't have.

I really would.

I saw a young girl.

I screamed.

I seen plenty come and go. Hell, I been here since the war.

I should have seen it like you did.

I think it's barter gas.

I thought there'd be stars.

I totally get it.

I want to understand the glory of the pain like Matthew..

I was not informed there would be calisthenics.

I will use its skin to make a cap.

I wish I could've seen them.

I wish that I could do what you do.

I'll get help.

I'll let you come in.

I'll see it when I believe it.

I'm actually rooting for this girl.

I'm an intern.

I'm chilly.

I'm coming back with cops and choppers..

I'm fine.

I'm going through.

I'm gonna go for a walk.

I'm gonna go for a walk.

I'm gonna go read a book with pictures.

I'm gonna pick up some power drills. Liberate my cabinets.

I'm just giving you a hard time.

I'm just saying, it's a key scenario.

I'm just skipping ahead.

I'm kinda seeing this girl..

I'm living in a womb of reefer, leave me alone.

I'm not even sure we have one of these.

I'm not leaving here without Jules.

I'm not pushing..

I'm not sure it's awesome to be down here.

I'm okay.

I'm on a reality TV show.

I'm pretty sure this ain't his.

I'm so sorry I almost shot you.

I'm sorry about tonight.

I'm sorry I let you get attacked by a werewolf and then ended the world.

I'm sorry.

I'm still on speakerphone, aren't I?

I'm the boss of my own brain, so give it up.

I'm thinking this thing doesn't take credit cards.

I've been prepped. Extensively.

I've done bigger jumps than this.

I've missed your rants.

Identification, please.

If he outlives her, this whole thing goes to hell.

If he's not too busy devirginizing Dana.

If I wipe out, I'll fucking limp for help.

If we fail, then..

If you know how to work it.

If you live to see it, the world will end.

If you treat this like a setup, I'm gonna have no fun at all.

If you've got to kill all my friends to survive..

In '98, it was the chem department's fault, right?

In the lake, right there.

In the oldest books, the way of saving our family.

Including you.

Internal security can..

Is in your hands, Dana.

Is society crumbling, Marty?

It doesn't even show up on the GPS.

It guarantees that we won't get pregnant.

It is kind of cool.

It is natural for her to feel protective.

It is unworthy of global positioning.

It was pioneer days.

It wasn't all by your numbers.

It's a diary.

It's a gorgeous man! I'm gonna kill you!

It's beautiful.

It's different in every culture.

It's empty. Go.

It's filling in the cracks with concrete.

It's funny that you like the ballet..

It's hormonal.

It's just people letting off steam.

It's not that simple Oh, my God!

It's not the first time it's come down to that.

It's our task to placate the ancient ones.

It's right there.

It's romantic.

It's simple.

It's so dark.

It's so strange.

It's the Buckners, ladies and gentlemen!

It's the cellar door.

It's the least I could do..

It's you.

Japan has a perfect record.

Jesus, what happened?

Judah Buckner to the rescue.

Judah told me in my dream..

Jules, do you wanna go lie down?

Jules, too.

Jules!

Jules.

Jules.

Kid will be 30 before he can reach them, assuming we have a kid.

Kill him.

Lead officer Truman to security command.

Leaving the last, to live or die..

Let's get this party started.

Let's get this show on the road!

Let's go dare.

Let's just check the walls, okay?

Let's move! Come on! Come on! Go!

Let's see. We got engineering, we got R & D, and we got electrical.

Like the difference between an elephant and an elephant seal.

Lock them in.

Look at all this.

Look at these.

Look out! Get out of the way! Make a hole!

Look, you guys, you stay in the Rambler.

Main thing is that she suffers.

Maintenance? They pick the same thing every year.

Mama screamed most of the night.

Marty and I were sweeties in our freshman hall.

Marty was right.

Marty was right.

Marty, I love you, but you're really high.

Marty!

Marty!

Marty. Hi.

Marty. Wait.

Marty..

Marty..

Maybe it was the people who put in that mirror thing.

Maybe it's time for a change.

Maybe that's the way it should be.

Maybe we should go back upstairs.

Me?

Me?

Miss Lin.

Monsters. Magic.

Mordecai, baby, what's happening? How's the weather up top?

Mordy?

More than anything, I just want this moment to end.

Mr. Hadley. Thank you.

Mr. Sitterson.

My cousin bought a house up there.

My good arm is hacked up..

My parents are gonna think I'm such a burnout.

Nemo, man, you gotta wake up. Your shit is topsy turvy.

Nest is empty. We're right on time.

Never do.

Nice! Is that Holden?

Nice.

No cell phone reception..

No more learning! Think fast.

No problem.

No traffic cameras.

No way.

No way. No.

No, if you have a confirmed kill, take her out, too.

No, it looks awesome. Curt's gonna lose it.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

No, no, no. Please, please.

No, no. No fucking way!

No, seriously. That wasn't our fault.

No, they have to make the choice of their own free will.

No, they've already been picked.

No, we just get 'em in the cellar. They take it from there.

No, who gave you these? Who taught you about these?

No!

No! We have a lake and a keg.

No.

No. Absolutely not.

No. I am not doubting you.

No. No.

No. Society is binding. Right?

No. They open an inch, then you gotta dig your finger in.

No. They're something nightmares are from.

No. You can tell me that.

Nobody else, huh?

Not around, baby. Straight line.

Not betting?

Not for me. Thanks.

Not here.

Not ready.

Not that I'd..

Not well. Not since tenth grade.

Nothing you don't want.

Now Kiko's spirit will live in the happy frog!

Now, there's no controls inside, but there's maintenance overrides in there.

Now,...

Of Rhohyptase to increase libido.

Oh, Christ. Can you take a message?

Oh, come on!

Oh, come on. No you guys, I'm serious. Right there.

Oh, come on. It's a jinx.

Oh, God!

Oh, let's get this party started!

Oh, man. I'm sorry.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. It's.. beautiful.

Oh, my God. Mordecai.

Oh, my God. Patience.

Oh, my God. That is so sweet of you to say.

Oh, my God. You're right. Hang on one second, I'll take you off.

Oh, not at all.

Oh, please.

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit.

Oh, you know, just 'til morning.

Okay, all right.

Okay, Dana, come on.

Okay, guys. That's it. Let's go. We've got a job to do.

Okay, I get it. I'll leave the books.

Okay, I'm drawing a line in the fucking sand, here.

Okay, Jules.

Okay, my turn.

Okay, no matter what happens, we gotta stay..

Okay, we've got the Rambler heading toward the tunnel.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. I swear to fucking God, somebody is talking.

Okay. Put him on.

One spider and I'm sleeping in the Rambler.

Operations, do you copy? We need a scenario adjustment.

Or I'm pretty sure someone is.

Or we have it written down.. somewhere.

Otherwise the system doesn't work.

Out of the way. Out of the way. Out of the way.

People had to make their own interrogation rooms.

People in this town drive in a very counterintuitive manner.

Please say Dana, please say Dana.

Please, do not go nuts on me, okay, Dana? You're all I've got, now.

Please. We haven't had a glitch since '98.

Please. You of all people.

Polk is now in two, McCrea is in four.

Possibly getting out of it.

Professor fuckwad.

Pumped into room three.

Punished for what?

Puppeteers?

Really?

Remember when you could just throw a girl in a volcano?

Requesting immediate reinforcements. Code black. I repeat, code black.

Score.

Sector 3, down. Jesus Christ!

Sector 12, down. Sector 8, down.

Seems a little harsh, doesn't it?

Seriously, Professor Bennett, he covers this whole book in his lectures.

Seriously, this isn't his fault.

Seriously? I thought they were looking good.

She dies first.

She's gone.

She's gonna dare you to do something you don't like..

She's got so much heart.

She's screwed in these little jobbies where you can't even open the drawers.

Shit. What? Shit why?

Should you?

Shouting on both sides. Blood was spilled.

Show us the goods.

Sign says closed.

Since Curt and Jules sold you to me for marriage.

So am I.

So he'll think you're insightful.

So I don't qualify for OT.

So what's it gonna be, Truman? You in? Window's closing.

So, the Buckners.

So, we'll talk to you later, okay?

So, you're bleeding internally?

Society needs to crumble.

Some of this stuff looks really old.

Somebody help!

Somebody sent those dead fucks up here to get us.

Something chewed through the connections in the utility shaft.

Something older than anything known.

Something will happen. It will collapse, it will wash away.

Sorry, I just scared myself.

Sorry. Sorry. Move along.

Soviet Economic Structures? Aftermath of the..

Speakerphone, no. No, I wouldn't do that.

Stand by, Chem.

Step out of the elevator! Step out of the elevator!

Stockholm went south.

Streets paved with actual street.

Take him out first.

Take me inside?

Take your top off.

Tell them to take the rest of the weekend off?

Tequila is my lady! My lady!

Tequila! From darkness, there is light!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. The pain outlives the flesh.

Thanks. For being decent.

That a believer will come and speak this to our spirits.

That dead girl's out there!

That is the last thing that I want.

That makes what kinda sense?

That Matthew took him to the black room, so I know he is killed.

That means there's just Japan. Japan and us.

That moose, over there.

That she did.

That tunnel should've blown hours ago. We didn't get the order.

That whore?

That would have been a fun weekend.

That's a wolf.

That's exactly the point. Come on. Mush. Mush.

That's gonna be big.

That's impossible. Everything was done within the guidelines.

That's it, gang!

That's just creepy.

That's not fair. I had zombies, too.

That's the whole point. Get off the grid, right?

That's what I have to say.

That's your concern.

The ancient ones see everything.

The ancient ones.

The athlete.

The board is locked!

The Buckners pull a 'W'.

The devil is defeated.

The diary.

The director doesn't care about this stuff.

The fool nearly derailed the invocation with his insolence.

The fool.

The fool's toast anyway.

The fucking tunnel's open!

The gods that used to rule the Earth.

The hair dye.

The Japan crew should've had this in the bag. They fucked us.

The lambs have passed through the gate. They are come to the killing floor.

The Latin that you read in the basement.

The north exit is blocked. You can't go there.

The scholar.

The sun is coming up in eight minutes.

The virgin's death is optional, as long as it's last.

The virgin's the only one..

The way everybody's acting.

The whole world, Marty.

The whore.

The wind must've blown it open.

Their blind eyes see nothing of the horrors to come.

Their ears are stopped.

Then we just leave the roads altogether.

Then we will be restored and the great pain will return.

There is no other way.

There must be at least five.

There was a glitch. Power re route from upstairs.

There you go.

There.

There's always next year.

There's no cave in. What?

There's no need to huff and puff.

There's no way across.

There's something else in the lake!

These fucking zombies.

These will help?

They are the gods' fools.

They don't just want to see us killed.

They fear this man. They know he sees further than they..

They got him.

They have to choose to ignore him..

They made us choose.

They rise.

They told me. I'll hold my post, Mr. Hadley.

They want to see us punished.

They'd know. Okay. All right, people.

They're celebrating. I'm drinking.

They're entirely separate species.

They're like something from a nightmare.

They're not subtle.

They're practically giving their money away.

This is awesome.

This is happening.

This is part of a ritual.

This is so classy.

This is the whole issue.

This is where he killed them.

This is where he kills us.

This isn't right.

This isn't right. We should split up.

This isn't the military. You can drop the sir.

This job isn't easy, however those clowns may behave.

This we offer in humility and fear.

This.

Tillerman Road takes you up the hill, there.

Tillerman Road. Do you know if it's this way?

To be honest, he's kind of freaking me out.

Tommy Chong here has a theory. Come on, baby.

True. So should we call Japan?

Trump

Trust me when I say there is nothing in those cases..

Truth or dare?

Truth.

Try to bypass it.

Turn the fucking music off.

Us.

Use the bed! Come on! Come on!

Virgin?

Watch the master work.

We also wanted to get directions.

We are abandoned.

We are bringing the pain.

We are live.

We are not who we are.

We can cover more ground that way.

We can't go back.

We chose.

We don't even know if this whole fertility thing's gonna work..

We gotta play it safe. No matter what happens, we have to stay together.

We have a winner!

We just gotta find a door.

We know what we're doing, Lin.

We made out once.

We need the Japanese crew to get it done. There's too much riding on this.

We saw them go down the access drop. They have to be in one of these.

We should check the rest of the rooms, make sure this is the only one.

We treated the shit out of it.

We work with what we have.

We'd all like to check out my cousin's country home.

We'll be right down. He just transferred from State.

We'll go room by room. Barricade every window and door.

We're all alone.

We're all just too chicken shit to let it.

We're dark on the whole sector.

We're looking for.. What's it called?

We're not talking about change.

We're not the only ones watching, kid.

We're talking about the agonizing death of every human soul on the planet.

We've got the blood work back on Louden. Her levels are good.

We've gotta get out of here.

Weird how it all comes back.

Well, good luck with your business, sir.

Well, I'll just be flattered and keep it to myself.

Well, Jules is pre med. You should probably talk to her.

Well, that's never been a stable scenario.

Well, that's.. how it works.

Well, then, maybe it's something else.

Well, yes, I am new in town.

Well, you called for help. That voids the dare.

Well, you're doing a great job out there.

What are they?

What are you running away for?

What are you saying?

What are you, stoned?

What cracked?

What do you mean, upstairs?

What do you mean? Ah, nothing.

What do you think is down there?

What do you want from me?

What do you want?

What happens next?

What have you been up to?

What if I get bored?

What is that thing?

What is that?

What is that?

What lies below.

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

What the fuck's going on? We don't know.

What the..?

What?

What?

What?

What? Just me?

What? No. Who took them?