Blue Crush (2002) Edit

A Barbie? What is your problem?

A formerjunior NSSA champion who dropped out of the competitive circuit

A little spot the hotel does not tell the tourists about.

Actions speak louder than words.

Actually, my sister's daughter, Rebecca. There she is.

After a near drowning incident at this very spot just three years ago.

Ah, Anne Marie, what...

Ah, don't worry about it. I mean, we turned out fine, right?

All in the same month.

All right, Anne Marie, I'm right there with you.

All right, here we go. Gotta make it over this wave. Here we go.

All right, let's fill these bad boys up.

All right, well, I'll meet you at the launch at 4:00.

All right. Do I have a surf lesson tomorrow?

All right. I left the clothes on the floor so that you would know

All right. Start paddling! Paddle! Go! Go!

All right. Wait. (GRUNTS)

All talented and shit.

ALL: Ew!

Always talking all that trash and how you would be number one.

And a touchdown.

And Chadwick needs to collect a scoring ride on this one.

And fat comes out like me, okay?

And get some killer secret spots.

And I got my ass kicked.

And I have one big head.

And I really, really want to win Pipe Masters tomorrow.

And I'll tell you, I've never been hit so hard in my life.

And it's just you and one other girl out there.

And rewarded her a 4.6 for the last ride,

And she just so happens to be with her latest meal ticket in Vegas,

And she's paddled right inside of Chadwick, and she's looking to catch her next wave.

And step three. You got it? Thanks for your time, guys.

And that I would regret not going back in. So, I went back in.

And what are you gonna be left with? A pair of shoes?

And what happens when I just paddle out and I don't take off in a single wave?

And when I tell you to go, you gotta go. You gotta paddle your little heart out.

And you can spend the rest of your heat just trying to...

And you don't go.

And you worked very hard to get to where you are.

And you'll get paid to surf uncrowded, perfect waves.

And you'll get sponsored just like her.

And you're going up against one of the best surfers in this event,

Anne Marie Chadwick getting the best wave of the day.

Anne Marie, are you all right?

Anne Marie! We're leaving!

Anne Marie.

Anne Marie. Where are you going? Anne Marie? Stop.

ANNE МАRIE ON PHONE: Yeah, right. I’m looking at it.

ANNE МАRIE: A couple more. You got it. Just a couple more waves.

ANNE МАRIE: Come on, Matt. You got it, you got it. Paddle, paddle, paddle.

ANNE МАRIE: Do you smell that?

ANNE МАRIE: Drew, we'll be out in five seconds.

ANNE МАRIE: God, she just loves pissing me off.

ANNE МАRIE: I mean, I don't even know where to start.

ANNE МАRIE: If you guys had gotten moving, maybe we would've been.

ANNE МАRIE: It doesn't look like you're finished.

ANNE МАRIE: It was gross! It was disgusting!

ANNE МАRIE: It's not his fault. I'm sorry for bringing him.

ANNE МАRIE: Let's go! PENNY: Okay, I'm coming. I'm coming.

ANNE МАRIE: Looks like the reef's breaking down.

ANNE МАRIE: Maybe we should go in. It's getting late.

ANNE МАRIE: No duck butt.

ANNE МАRIE: No, it's all right. I'm just dropping him off.

ANNE МАRIE: She should've had it done by last night.

ANNE МАRIE: What happened to the five bucks I gave you yesterday?

ANNE МАRIE: Whoo!

ANNE МАRIE: Yeah, we're on our way to school.

ANNE МАRIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ANNE МАRIE: Yeah. How is that possible? It's underwear.

ANNOUNCER: Good morning, everybody. Welcome to the Pipe Masters

ANNOUNCER: Heads up on the beach, people. Big set approaching.

ANNOUNCER: Here comes Kennelly taking off. Steep drop.

ANNOUNCER: Just words don't explain it.

ANNOUNCER: Looks like she's going on this one.

ANNOUNCER: Not that she probably cares right now, but the judges' score just came in

ANNOUNCER: Pretty much an impossible score at this point.

ANNOUNCER: She sets herrail. Makes the drop. Textbook.

ANNOUNCER: She's out, making it look so easy.

ANNOUNCER: That sounds the start of the next heat.

ANNOUNCER: Waiting on the judges' scores. They're coming in.

ANNOUNCER: With only two minutes left in her heat,

Another barreling left hander in Tahiti.

Any of you get in her way, you're gonna have to deal with me.

Anybody in room 21 5?

Anywhere, I guess. Whatever you can find.

Are you feeling better?

As a reminder, our Pro Bowl guests are arriving today.

As these girls take on the deadliest waves in the world.

Assholes who think that you can't surf Pipe because you don't have the balls!

At least I have someone that's interested in me!

Be right with you.

Because if you hold back for a second, you're gonna eat shit.

Because it's broken that way,

Beer's gone.

Both of you! Get off! That's enough! Stop! Get off!

But I do not want to embarrass my family,

But I know how good you are, and I know how much this means to you.

But I'm sure it'll better the score she already has...

But if you want to come up to my room, I'll give you the rest of the money.

But it should clean up as the winds pick up.

But Leslie sat me down and said that that was the hardest I'd ever be hit

But the contest is in a week, and I just don't think that it's time for...

But there was this one beautiful pass,

But they're gonna have their hands full today.

But, folks, it's not easy out there. Chadwick's starting to paddle.

Bye.

Chadwick in position. Heading for the first wave.

Chadwick struggles to get back into the line up

Chadwick's got the inside position as a big set approaches.

Come on, girl. Go!

Come on. Get back out here! One more time!

Come on. Go! Paddle!

Come on. Let's go, everybody. Totally freaky!

Come on. Paddle, paddle! This one's yours now. Go! Go!

Come on. That's his style.

Cut body and a nice cutback.

Did you see the shoes, the dress, the bracelet?

Do you guys remember the Denny's waitress?

Don't give up. Come on. Paddle.

Don't give us shit 'cause you were out there working it.

Don't mind us.

Don't take the first wave of the set. Third wave looks the best.

Don't talk bubbles to me. Let's see it.

Don't worry about me. I got this mastered.

Drew, I got it!

Eden, over here!

EDEN: (ECHOING) And it's just you and one other girl out there.

EDEN: All you need to do is get noticed.

EDEN: Geez, stop picking on her, dude.

EDEN: Get a move on. Let's go. ANNE МАRIE: Let's go!

EDEN: God!

EDEN: He hit the reef.

EDEN: I thought you were just giving him lessons.

EDEN: I'm not mad.

EDEN: It's all in your head. It's all up here.

EDEN: Shit. It's Mr. Pukui.

EDEN: Sounds a little bit too familiar.

EDEN: That's nasty. LENA: Oh, my God!

EDEN: They think they can get away with anything.

EDEN: Turn it up.

EDEN: We should have been here at least an hour ago.

EDEN: Well, I wanted to rent a Jet Ski tomorrow.

EDEN: Yeah!

EDEN: You guys get out here. I'll go find some parking.

EDEN: You know, you score one good wave at Pipe Masters,

EDEN: You should just shave her head. That ought to send a message.

EDEN: You were in the perfect spot. You were right where you needed to be.

Excuse me, Anne Marie. I'm Jessica from Billabong.

Excuse me.

Explains what?

Five grand every time she's on the cover.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Fluff your bangs up a little bit. Just a little bit more attitude in there.

Football players are so nasty.

Football players.

For Anne Marie Chadwick to get a ride like that

For lessons. How much?

For that specific purpose.

For you. For the lesson.

Freaking pain in my royal ass! God!

Get in the car! Stop it! Stop. Get in the car.

Get off me!

Get on! Get on! Come on. We gotta get out of here.

Get those hands up in the air. Come on, now.

Get your own dreams!

Gets her on the sled and out of harm's way.

GIRL: Wedding and honeymoon in the same place?

Girls, I'm hot. Come on. Let's go snorkeling or something.

Give the crowd something to cheer about. Let's get you a wave. Come on.

Go!

Gonna put some ice on it.

Good evening, miss. Welcome to the Lanakai.

Grab my hand!

GUEST: Open this door right now. I'm not fooling around.

Guys, guys. It's up. It's up.

Half the island's gonna have us sleeping together by tomorrow morning,

Hang on!

Harder. Come on. You gotta dig.

He don't know anything.

He likes your little some some. A little loving one night...

He said it was. One and a half.

He's so ripping in that aloha shirt anyway.

He's the guy you want protecting your backside.

Here at Banzai Pipeline, on the North Shore of Oahu.

Here I go. All right. Wish me luck.

Here, today, we have a rising swell,

Here. They're all yours.

Hey, everybody, we have a set out the back.

Hey, guys, come on. It's $1 50 each.

Hey, hey, hey! Got it!

Hey, I'm giving a lesson.

Hey, listen to me. Contest comes first. Nothing changes that.

Hey, sweetie. Why don't you come over here and help me out a little bit?

Hey, why don't you stop hassling my girl? She's gonna dominate.

Hey, you should check out the boards.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. What was that all about?

High enough to take her into the next round.

Housekeeping!

Housekeeping. Housekeeping.

How about you take a sweet, luscious run right about now?

How hot am I!

How is it out there?

How's it coming?

Hurry up. Come on!

I am a football player. Oh, shit!

I am not snorkeling with this hair. Give me a break.

I call them nut containers. You're gonna teach me how to surf.

I can see why the tourists here never leave their hotels.

I do what I do best.

I don't have any boobs.

I don't know what's going on out there.

I don't know.

I don't know. He wanted lessons or something.

I don't know. I didn't say I had a lot of cash. I just said I had some.

I don't want to get some rest! I almost frigging died out there!

I don't want you! I don't care!

I got it!

I guess so, then, 'cause I quit. I quit!

I have to get back to my side of the island. You know what I mean?

I just don't want you to spend your life wondering what could've been.

I just lay there, praying that something was broken

I just... I didn't know if that was your room or not.

I know where it is. Thanks.

I know! Those masks leave the worst marks on your face.

I know.

I know. But I did promise him another lesson tomorrow.

I know. It's getting big out here. Sure you don't want to go in?

I learned that much while I was here.

I love you, too. All right. Bye.

I should probably go. It's getting late.

I swear.

I think we should start at the sandbar and work our way over.

I thought he was hot.

I thought his friends would be hot at least.

I thought you were right behind us.

I want

I want a girl to be on the cover of Surfmagazine,

I want to be able to pay the phone and the electricity and the rent

I want to get a boat so we can, like, go around the island

I want to get this thing done. Here you go, Kala.

I want...

I wanted to apologize for my friend back at the hotel.

I was right behind you. I couldn't get in without getting crushed.

I won't argue with that.

I would really like to do that, but see those guys over there?

I'd love to talk to you about being on our team.

I'll meet you there as soon as I can.

I'm all you have right now!

I'm gonna bury you, girl.

I'm here for the competition.

I'm in 21 5.

I'm just trying to find the money that I hid.

I'm not mad.

I'm not suspending you. I'm firing you.

I'm on it! Get off!

I'm on vacation.

I'm putting it on.

I'm so proud of her.

I'm sorry. I know. It gets stuck.

I'm sorry. I said I was sorry a hundred times.

I'm telling you, if you just would have committed,

I'm the maid that you slept with on vacation. I'm the great story you tell

I'm tired of holding my breath, Eden.

I've got his wallet. We're out of here. Let's go surf.

If you don't watch out, I'll make sure you drown out there.

If you pick the wrong wave, wipeout, get caught inside...

If you tell me be the girl on the beach right now,

If you're going down to watch, it's not a day for a dip in the water.

Imagine the Niagara Falls dumping into two feet of water

In case of death or dismemberment?

Inside! Got it! I'm on it!

Is to get your own life and stop living through me!

It seems crazy.

It smells good on you.

It's double overhead.

It's fierce.

It's four wave sets with 20 second intervals. Take your time.

It's just... I happen to know that you kick ass out there,

It's Keala Kennelly. She's living the life.

It's not my fault you broke your board, you stupid kook.

It's not weird. You can go.

It's not who she is.

It's over with. You're gonna go pro, and you're gonna win this thing.

It's pretty heavy out there. Your girl got her head on straight this time?

It’s dangerous out there. The water patrol already has their hands full,

It’s gonna be a macking 20 feet,

It’s just you and one other girl out there.

Jimmy, are you kidding me?

JJ: It's flat.

Jump!

Just be the girl I met on the beach.

Just because I wouldn't get out of her room.

Just get in the car. Seriously, stop it. Walk away.

Just lay there and relax for a minute.

Just relax. I can't get it if you're frigging tossing around.

Just tell me what to do, please.

Kate Skarratt down. Water patrol coming to pick her up.

Kate Skarratt paddling into one of the best waves of the day.

Kate Skarratt's going on this one. She's paddling. Gets to her feet.

Kawela's? And you expected to make it back in time?

Keala Kennelly. A great tube ride out here at the Pipeline.

Keala Kennelly. Hands together, ladies and gentlemen.

KEALA: Here comes the set.

Leland Dao, please report to the medical tent. We need you down here immediately.

LENA: Don't worry, honey. It's just one afternoon.

LENA: I saw those guys walk into Tommy Bahama yesterday

LENA: It's going off!

LENA: It's gonna be sick. Look, Kehau and Braden are going.

LENA: It's stuck! EDEN: No, don't touch it!

LENA: Look, this one packed for Vegas and landed in Hawaii instead.

LENA: Looks like he learned how to shake right.

LENA: Okay, hurry, hurry, hurry!

LENA: This is ridiculous.

LENA: This is your dream. This is what you were born to do.

LENA: Twinkie is breakfast.

LENA: Ugh!

LENA: Whatever. It's surf lessons. EDEN: So this is what jocks look like?

LENA: Whatever. That thing was a beast.

LENA: Wow, Rochelle Ballard rips!

LENA: Yeah. Just be patient. Don't get too anxious.

LENA: You should just send her to military school.

Leslie, but everybody calls me Poon Daddy!

Lessons? Money? We're broke?

Let her go. Seriously, let her go. We're out of here.

Let's do it.

Let's go and catch one of those big ones.

Let's go show you off. Ah!

Let's go, man.

Let's go! Pipe's over there. The boys are gonna block for you.

Let's see it. I don't mind girls that can charge Pipe.

Let's see it. I'll get my boys out there. We'll block every single wave you want.

Lift your head.

Like that wave, huh? Next one's yours.

Like, I need for you guys to put all of my crusty clothes inside of the bag.

Listen, let me call you back, all right? All right.

Look at that. They're beautiful.

Look, all I'm saying is that if you can't handle this,

Look, Anne Marie Chadwick. Picture.

Look, I hate to be the buzzkill here,

Look, you're never gonna catch a wave sitting all the way over here in the channel.

Looks like Chadwick and Kennelly are just paddling for the peak.

Looks like it's a 4.1 that came out on the board.

Looks like she's going for this one.

Man, is she all right?

Man, that girl could rip.

MAN: Anne Marie, I’m leaving you!

Matt loves to slum. That's just how he is.

Mmm. These are so good. You didn't save me any whipped cream, though.

More surfers have died here than any other spot on the planet combined.

My first NFL game, I got blindsided by Warren Sapp,

My sisters would beat me on a regular basis. See, look.

Nice set approaching. We got good sets out the back.

Nice.

No ditching.

No kamaaina for candy.

No matter how big it is, we want you on it. Let's see what's gonna happen.

No, I don't think so. It has sugar. Turns into fat,

No, I know you got rocked out there, just like I did.

No, no, no.

No, really. It's not my wife. Look, it's my niece.

No, you're a kook! Don't ever drop down on me again!

Nothing.

Now that Megan's on the beach with a broken board.

Now, stop it. Get in the car. Just get in the car.

Oh, and she broke her board.

Oh, crap!

Oh, It's pretty nuts. Broke my board.

Oh, it's setting up perfectly. Look at that beautiful wave.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. What's wrong?

Oh, my gosh. There's Kate Skarratt.

Oh, she got so worked.

Oh, she pulls back. Kennelly's wide open. She catches the wave.

Oh, sick! Ugh!

Oh, sure. Tell me what happened.

Oh, yeah, I don't think so. You can go for it, though.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh! Don't say that. That's not real Hawaii. They're just... They're just crazy.

Oh! Hell, no!

Okay, everybody. As the Ski comes up on the beach, please give them some room.

Okay, now it's time for a few of you lucky men

Okay, well, that's actually why we had the dry cleaning bags,

Okay, you need to sign this release form.

Okay.

Okay. 'Cause I don't want to ruin your reputation or anything.

On the outside, here comes one of the best sets of the whole day coming in.

One false move, and the consequences could be disastrous.

One perfect spiral right into Omar's fingertips,

Or if Keala's just putting it to her.

Our dancer tonight is Chief... What's your name?

Out at Pipeline tomorrow, the girls have the place all to themselves.

Over hard rock lava with razor sharp reef and underwater caves.

Ow, ow!

Paddle, paddle, paddle.

Paddle, paddle!

Pen! Pen?

Penny, I thought you finished your homework.

Penny, shut up.

PENNY: Hey, it's my turn. EDEN: You got beat.

PENNY: I don't see her. Where is she? LENA: Do you see her?

PENNY: I'm checking it.

PENNY: No, I finished it.

PENNY: Okay, got my noodles. Let's go.

PENNY: Thanks for the ride.

PENNY: What if we see people we know? God.

PENNY: Why does the sun rise in the east? EDEN: If she had the balls to really charge it...

Penny?

Penny. Penny, get up. Get up! We're going home. Come on.

Pipe and Backdoor are both open.

Pipe is in three days. Every single sponsor is here.

Please don't suspend me. We need the money.

Plenty of time being allowed here for Kennelly to get back in position,

Put you into some size. Get you ready for Pipe.

Put your head in the center. Lean forward. Hula hands! Come on! Go!

Remember how he used to have pee stains all the time?

RICO: Hey, girls.

Right now, it's a macking 15 to 20 feet.

Right. This is the one. Go!

Same thing you are. We came to surf Pipe.

Seriously, stop it. Why do you have to be like this?

Shake that thing. Come on!

She doesn't need a ride. She's paddling back out.

She gets a grand every time she's in a magazine.

She gets free clothes, boards, watches, sunglasses.

She kills it at Pipe. And there's Rochelle Ballard.

She makes it out.

She must be here for the contest.

She needs to redeem herself here. Keala is absolutely dominating this heat,

She's a goofy foot, which favors her at Pipeline.

She's getting it done now.

She's gonna get some waves out here.

She's in a nice one. She's coming in.

She's messing up, man.

She's messing up, man.

She's my bitch. I taught her everything she knows.

She's setting her line. Breezing to make it out.

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit. Shit.

Shut up. Oh, my God.

Slippers.

Slobs.

Snap up!

So I gave myself a $50 discount for paying upfront.

So I wanted to give a little word of warning to everybody.

So she can catch this one wave.

So that's it? You gonna go run off and be a pro ho, huh?

So we'd appreciate it if you'd just back up.

So, Chadwick all alone by herself out there, yet to even score a ride.

So, Chadwick's pretty much got her hands full with this next round.

So, come on. Follow me.

So, next time your ass is hanging back in the pocket, he's your guy.

So, right now, this is the best arrangement I can do.

So, that's pretty awesome, you know. Surfing.

So, what are we supposed to talk about with her anyways? (LAUGHING)

Some guy thinks you look hot in a bikini, and you forget all about the contest.

Some intelligent men. Some men of size.

Someone's gotta go to college, honey. Not me.

Sorry about that. It's kind of strange with the time difference and all.

Sorry, my pits stink, but that's just the way it goes.

Sorry.

SPONSOR: Local girls!

Stand up. Stand up.

Starts to paddle. She's going for it.

Step one.

Step two.

Stop it, stop!

Stop, stop, stop. Drew, stop! Act like an adult.

Stop! Leave me alone! Get off me!

Sugar wugar.

SUPERVISOR: I don't care what they did.

Surf Indo, Australia, Tahiti. You name it.

Surfer girls.

Surfing against her, we have wild card entry Anne Marie Chadwick,

Talking all this crap on the beach, like, I dated you, Drew. I can do anything.

Teach us how to surf.

Tell Eden she's a hottie. Hook me up.

Tell her yourself. How's Pipe looking?

Thank you. You'll be in heat four with Kate Skarratt.

Thanks.

Thanks. I could use it.

Thanks. I'll worry about that.

That they need to be dry cleaned.

That was insane!

That was so good.

That was the first time you beat me at the Menehune Contest in Haleiwa.

That's $1,000. I'll be here a week. That's $1 50 a day,

That's my sister! (LAUGHING)

That's my sister! Whoo!

That's pathetic. What is that?

That's the spirit! Shake off that last wave and let's do this.

That's what you're gonna do? You're just gonna quit?

That's why you're not intimidated by women.

The boys were spinning. Remember that?

The entire surf media, looking to find the next surf sensation.

The girl doesn't have to open her wallet.

The girl who'd never ask a guy what to do.

The guy on the phone called me Mrs. Tollman, and I didn't correct him,

The only other arrangement I can think of right now is my mother,

The water patrol needs some space to work on Kate Skarratt,

Then you go! You're so frigging ballsy, Eden, you go!

There you go. Come on. Paddle, paddle.

There's a bit of a paddle battle going on out there.

There's a little bit of morning sickness out right now,

There's no way you're gonna be ready for the Pipe Masters.

They are VIP return guests, and deserve the highest level of service.

They are VIP. Pay the highest rate.

They don't pay good money to be scolded by a housekeeper.

They may be the best in the world,

They quit. So don't get any ideas about collecting unemployment.

They see us heading up to your room,

They're carrying the backboard down. This isn't good.

They're so protective of their land and their waves, especially.

They're such burnouts.

This is bullshit.

This is it. This is it, right there!

This is Lena and Eden. I'm Anne Marie.

This is the eighth time your sister's been tardy in the last month.

This is the first time the girls have gotten to compete at Pipeline.

This one's yours, right here. Don't blow it, or I ain't gonna help you anymore.

This paddle battle is really about who's gonna get the first wave.

To climb up the rain gutter at the Volcom House and steal their rum.

To learn how to do the Tahitian hula.

Today's your big day. Let's do it.

Traveling, traveling... Oh! She didn't quite get around that last section.

Trying to get in the shoulder.

Trying to rotate it in the other direction?

Uh, I think we got company.

Uh, let's see. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,

Uh, the blueberry waffles.

Um, anyway, I was wondering if maybe you've taught anybody.

Wait. Why don't you come in for a drink?

Watch out, watch out! Spring girI’s wave.

Watch out. Whoa.

Watch your kids, watch your belongings. The water is coming over the berm.

Water patrol’s checking on her. Looks like she's okay.

Wave selection is critical.

Waves are averaging 14 feet in 18 seconds,

We gotta go to work, guys. We're gonna be late again.

We grew here. You flew here.

We have Keala Kennelly from Kauai. She's a charger.

We have really good consistency with the swell today.

We just folded them up and put them on the bed.

We kissed for, like, two seconds. It wasn't a big deal.

We must remember, we depend on our guests for the survival of our business.

We need Dr. Leland Dao to report to the medical tent.

We'll get you one, Matt. I promise. Come on back.

We're just picking up the clothes off the floor.

We're over this. Turn the music up.

We've got that high surf advisory in effect for the north and northwest facing shores.

Welcome to the arena, girl. Let's get you into something big.

Well, actually, the guy at the hotel told me where I could find you.

Well, aloha! Look at you, little miss princess.

Well, I dated you, Drew. I guess I can do anything, huh?

Well, the currents are fierce today,

Well, then, why don't you put them in the bag?

What are you doing?

What do you mean?

What does she see in those guys anyway?

What happened to all the clothes that was on the floor?

What the hell is she doing?

What the hell was that?

What the... Oh, man.

What, you think you can surf it for real?

What?

What? I'm... You're good. I'm just saying they're, like, really good.

What? Who are you?

What'd she say?

What's up, little mama? Little surf baby.

Whatever. At least she went. That wave was huge.

When I throw the football, it gives it a nice little zip.

When she dominated in the junior NSSA.

Where are you?

Where he was, like, spinning around the Earth backwards,

Where you going?

Which will move her into the next round over Skarratt.

Who apparently isn't so cool with the kid's menu, you know what I mean?

Who? Who was she?

Who's gone down on that last wave.

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa! It's going off! It's at least double overhead.

Whoa! Look at this wave. It is the bomb.

Whoo hoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo! Go!

Whoo! Yeah!

Whoo! Yeah!

Whoo! Yeah!

Whose fault is that? You guys were supposed to be my examples.

Why don't I knock you over the head

Why don't you crawl back into the cave you came from?

Why don't you just relax, brah?

Why not earlier?

Wild card entry. This North Shore local first gained notice

Windex, I guess, or Comet.

Wondering why maid is in husband's room at 2:00 in the morning.

Wow.

WOМАN 1: His classic line. (LAUGHING)

WOМАN 1: Oh, God! Matt and the maid. It's classic.

WOМАN 1: Oh, yeah!

WOМАN 1: The only person who knows anything about Windex or Comet

WOМАN 2: God, where does she think she's going, anyway? The prom?

WOМАN 2: Right. Seriously, you guys, I hope she doesn't think he's gonna marry her.

WOМАN 2: That's right. I remember.

WOМАN 2: Trust me on this. He made her up. The whole Matt Tollman makeover.

WOМАN 2: Yeah. Shake it for us!

WOМАN 3: And get some of that $1 0 million a year.

WOМАN 3: Oh, my God. Did you guys check out that dress? Hello?

WOМАN 4: She was from Denny's. I knew she looked familiar.

Yeah, I miss you, too. I miss you, too.

Yeah, no, I tried to call earlier, but no one was there.

Yeah, she just needed to paddle a little harder.

Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah? Hey. Hey, sweetheart.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes, I'd like to order some breakfast, please.

You can do better.

You can go ahead and wait in the competitor's area.

You can't hesitate. You can't pull back. You can't hold back. No fear, all right?

You could have made that wave.

You could've stayed down longer than that.

You did not almost die. You were under for, like, five seconds.

You don't just get worked there. You die.

You don't live here, you don't surf here.

You go up the elevator. I'll go up the back way, so it's, like, inconspicuous.

You gonna take a wave, or are you just gonna sit there like a buoy?

You gonna teach us how to surf?

You guys are such hypocrites. We totally partied at her age.

You know it's gonna be sick.

You know what? Fine.

You know what? That's it.

You know what? There's this guy Rick.

You know, any day at Pipeline is critical, but today,

You know, I'm doing the best I can do. That's all I can say.

You know, Leslie's kind of messy, but when your ass is hanging out in the pocket,

You know, you're just as good as her.

You must know how to kiss, huh? Or you must know how to do something else.

You really have to commit out here in order to get the wave.

You remember that Supeman episode

You want to go out there?

You were so amazing. Oh, my God, are you okay?

You were such a cocky little shit. (SNICKERING)

You were working it like a rib without the sauce.

You whipped me in way too deep, and you need to kick out earlier.

You wiped out! Sorry, Rochelle.

You'd better watch it, girl.

You'll get flown all around the world,

You'll still have plenty of time to get pregnant and go on welfare.

You're an asshole.

You're gonna be watching women's surfing history today,

You're not a quitter. You're just scared.

You're not gonna win the Masters surfing the sandbar.

You're the one in training, not me.

You're the one who made Mom leave! You were screwing up all the time!

You're wearing my bathing suit bottoms in that.

YOUNG ANNE МАRIE: I'm gonna be the best surfer in the world.

YOUNG ANNE МАRIE: I'm gonna be the best surfer in the world.

150 bucks! For surf lessons? That's it, right?

'Cause it sets in the west. Because that's the way the Earth rotates.

(ALL LAUGHING) Goodnight, Penny. You're going to bed now.

(ANNE МАRIE SHRIEKS) Yeah!

(CAMERAS CLICKING) Look at that pit!

(CHUCKLING) I'll remember that. BEN: Hey, what's up, Anne Marie?

(CHUCKLING) That's not my wife. Wife, girlfriend, boyfriend.

(GIGGLING) Shit. You remember that?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER) (GRUNTING)

(LENA SHRIEKING) EDEN: It's a condom.

(SCOFFING) You're gonna surf in that? Hell, no. I'm gonna surf in my da da da da's.

(SCOFFS) That's nice. Well, I'd love to learn.

(SIGHING) Let's do this. Let's go. Come on.

$1 5? The hotel charges $1 50. I'll pay that.

$1 7.53. That's kamaaina price?

21 5? You ladies in 21 5? Gentlemen! 21 5? (INDISTINCT TALKING)

A nice little touch? Exactly.

after a near drowning incident... Mmm.

All right. Bye.

All right. Bye.

All right. LENA: Ew! Sick!

All right. Okay.

ALL: Aloha, Chief Poon Daddy! Aloha, Chief Poon Daddy!

and run away with some guy I just met. Shut up, Eden. I'm not kidding.

And stay on the inside. Okay.

And their women? (EXCLAIMS)

Anne Marie. You all right? Mmm hmm.

ANNE МАRIE: Penny! Penny! What?

ANNE МАRIE: Please! What are you doing? You want some of this?

ANNE МАRIE: What is this? I don't know, like, 70, 60...

ANNE МАRIE: What's your name? That's right. That's our girl.

ANNE МАRIE: You can get hurt. I'm sure I could handle myself.

Are you a volunteer? She's a competitor.

Are you psyched? Yeah, totally.

Are you trying to buy me? No. No. I just don't want to lose you.

Aw! Come on, Leilani. It's breakfast. Yeah.

Be careful, Pen. All right.

Beautiful. All right. Great.

Blueberry waffles? Where? Outside.

Brah? You telling me brah? ANNE МАRIE: Drew.

Breakfast? Right. Sorry, girls. $17.53. LENA: This has corn syrup in it.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Can I ask you a really weird question? (LAUGHING SOFTLY)

Can I have your autograph? That was insane.

Can you glue it back together? No.

Can't you just blow him off? No.

Champagne? How cheesy are you? Shut up!

Check it out. EDEN: Who's GQ jock?

Check those Jet Skis out. So fun.

Come in. Okay. Thanks.

Definitely. All right.

Do we have any volunteers? Hell, yeah!

Do you have a sec, Leslie? Sure, take all the time you want.

Does she know she got beat? Nice, isn't it?

Does she? You know it.

Dog's gotta eat. Well, so do I. I'm hungry.

Don't throw it away on this guy. ANNE МАRIE: Eden!

Eat the rest of this Twinkie. I don't want a Twinkie. I want breakfast.

Eden, get out of here! Oh, shit!

EDEN: Put some gloves on. Get it off!

Everybody thinks I'm sexy. I'm the sexiest... You ain't sexy! (LAUGHING)

Everything okay? Oh, yeah. We'll be okay.

Exactly. Eden.

Excuse us, please. EDEN: Excuse us.

Excuse us. It's all right.

Five. Really? You're the only boy?

For real? For real.

Get it off, Anne Marie! It's stuck! What?

Get it off! Get it off! Get it off.

Get out of my face, Eden. You gonna prove these guys right?