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Wet Hot American Summer (2001) Wet Hot American Summer is a hilarious cult classic film released in 2001, directed by David

Wet Hot American Summer (2001)

Wet Hot American Summer is a hilarious cult classic film released in 2001, directed by David Wain. Set in the summer of 1981, the movie follows a group of eccentric counselors navigating the chaos and absurdity of their last day at Camp Firewood. The star-studded cast includes Janeane Garofalo, David Hyde Pierce, Molly Shannon, Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler, and Bradley Cooper in one of his early roles.

This uproarious comedy satirizes the summer camp genre with its outrageous humor, absurd plotlines, and clever pop culture references. Filled with zany antics, awkward romances, and unforgettable moments, Wet Hot American Summer has become a beloved cult favorite among fans and critics alike.

If you're looking to relive the nostalgia or experience this offbeat comedy for the first time, you can play and download the sounds and quotes from this hilarious movie here.

A big mistake.
A crowned class b Dungeon Master.
A level five charm spell on me.
A lot.
A man who loves a woman,
A plus for comedy, Beth.
A.K.A. jazz shoes, dance belts, lycras, et al.
Abby, bunk 8 wants to watch The China Syndrome again, so run the betamax.
Abby!
Abby! My trip... it doesn't come back until tomorrow.
Abby?
Abby.
Abby. Abby, my lover, my friend. Abby!
According to this readout, Skylab is going to land directly on the rec hall.
Actually I went to camp Machnudin...
Actually, I, uh...
Ah!
Ahh!
Ahhh.
Alexis Clairaut, Jean d'Alembert and Pierre Laplace.
Alias, The Beekeeper.
Alive. We want him alive.
All eight weeks without finding that special someone,
All I know is I would have said no to every person on your list...
All of Camp Firewood and the higher power, however you define it,
All right, I'll put him last.
All right, let's go.
All right, with passion!
All right.
All right. Stop it!
Also possibly a meteor in the evening sky.
Amanda Klein, Jessica Azaria,
Amen.
And as you may have heard, I am recently...
And excuse the Yiddish... insensitive schmucks.
And finally, ladies and germs, is a dude...
And grab him and just fuck his brains out, you know?
And his name is Roger, The Master Broom Balancer.
And I came here this summer just to, you know,
And I can be proud of who I am.
And I don't care that you're bowlegged and bilingual.
And I genuinely don't care that he's kind of lame.
And I just, I just know that if you gave me a chance,
And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16.
And I love the way your hair smells.
And I want to be with you, but...
And I want you back.
And I'll tell you something. If you wanna smear mud on your ass, smear mud on your ass.
And I'm just saying, worry no more.
And I'm sorry if this isn't the direction you saw things going between us.
And if you can't handle that, then to hell with you!
And if you have one ounce of decency, you will do the right thing and let her go.
And introduce myself.
And it just seemed like everything was gonna work out, you know?
And leave your bullshit attitude and baggage at the door, 'cause we don't need it!
And lie to your friends about a summer romance that didn't even happen.
And maybe it will be a different story like when I'm ready to get married.
And my bad news is... there is no bad news. I was just joking.
And my best friend hadn't fully evolved yet.
And Neil, next time we go camping, you drive the Van.
And now the kids are about to go over devil's canyon rapids!
And now, Camp Fizzie poo, performing the song...
And one, and one. Step aside. Step aside.
And Raptor bacon!
And that was so long ago...
And the last thing I need today is some diabetic freak...
And then I met Ron...
And then make it your beeswax to be here at 9:30?
And then you can have the whole rest of the day to learn about planets, stars,
And there's more. We have no way of pinpointing exactly where it's going to land.
And this time, Victor, I'm sure it's true.
And we'll see what kind of people we've blossomed into.
And who wants to hold her, and provide for her,
And with t minus 11 hours to the big talent show,
And you don't want to be the one person...
And you know what, Gene?
And, Beth, I know we've been having trouble with, you know...
And, NASA's hiring me to go to work for them at Cape Canaveral, Florida.
And, yes, have sex with her.
Andy, have you seen my swimming buddy?
Andy, I'm serious. Come on.
Andy! Help me!
Andy? Are you gonna clean that up?
Andy's really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too.
Anyone?
Apology accepted.
Are you gonna be part of the problem, or are you the solution?
As bared witness by myself,
As everybody knows,
As shown through the work of the 19th century scientists...
As the guy who came to dinner a few weeks ago with underwear on my head.
As we spend our last dinner together: Be proud of who you are!
At a time when I was trying to hide myself from myself,
Baby, that was beautiful!
Barn like.
Be proud of who you are.
Be strong, Gail!
Because I couldn't hide from him.
Because I really love her, man.
Because I'm allergic to oxymorons.
Because I'm telling you. That's all I can do.
Because I've always wanted you.
Because that woman is not your plaything.
Becomes one for the record books.
Before we start, I'd just like to say...
Being honest makes you feel better.
Bend over, yes. Take 'em off, take 'em off. Yes! Yes!
Beth, come on. Pants? Are you kidding?
Beth, hello. Thanks for coming. Let's get right to it.
Beth, I may regret saying this,
Beth, meet me at the picnic table in ten seconds. I'll tell you all about it.
Beth, this is incredible. I don't know how to thank you.
Beth, tomorrow's the least of our problems.
Beth, we did it.
Beth, what's the matter?
Beth! Beth!
Beth! Jump the gun.
Beth's going into town. Let's go! Wait, wait!
Break!
Breathe. Shh. Just breathe.
But Andy is like cut from marble. He's gorgeous.
But I want you to share it with me.
But I was thinking when the time comes, we can adopt.
But I've thought about it, and my thing is this:
But it says here that you all know him as...
But not to worry, because those of you in the Bethesda/Chevy Chase area...
But the brothers don't even need to raise their voice.
But the following campers need to put their trunks out...
But the truth is, a lot of the time men can be real...
But there's only one crayon, and it's brown.
But things change, and I've fallen in love with you.
But we were into some heavy shit.
But you're so talented!
But, seriously, Katie, I love the way you laugh.
But, well, it's just a matter of time, I think.
By all accounts, you would be considered hot. Is that correct?
By my galactic master...
Can hear me all winter long on ******* Day School Radio 89.9 F.M...
Can I see what you're writing?
Capture the flag!
Cat got your tongue, Andy? What is it?
Cave drawings!
Clean it up and come to my office for the meeting.
Closer to my heart than the one you just heard, day bidet.
Come on, do something. Or get the fuck off the stage!
Come on!
Come on! This is a joke, right?
Cookin' slop for the grunts in 'Nam was easier than this.
Cooking for all you nice people...
Cool?
Coop, Coop, don't leave.
Coop, do you like watching me and Andy make out?
Coop, goat shit.
Coop, I don't know what to say.
Coop, seriously... Fuck off.
Coop, wait!
Coop! Coop, I love you!
Could you get to it now? And last, but certainly not least,
Damn it!
Damn!
Day by day from the musical godspell,
Debbie Epstein has, like, playboy titties!
Definitely.
Did you go all the way?
Dinner!
Dinner. Literally any time.
Director/choreographer of the talent show?
Do you have any idea...
Do you know where the powder packets are?
Do you mind?
Do you want my sweatshirt?
Does she want to fuck me? Is that what she was asking you about?
Don't come to the audition and waste our time.
Don't pick it up, stupid!
Don't tell me. Don't even tell me you have crabs.
Douche bags are hygienic products. I take that as a compliment.
Dude, that's kind of sad.
Everybody focus up. All eyes here.
Everyone! Immediately! Out of the van.
Excellent.
Except for a few campers who are lepers.
Excuse me. Could you tell me where I could find the, uh...
Excuse me. Uh, Nancy.
Fine.
Flourish all the days of their lives.
Fondue with cheddar.
For breakfast we had to eat scrambled pterodactyl eggs...
For chrissake, Andy, help me, I'm drowning.
For making the last eight weeks,
For my pussy.
For those select few of you who went all summer,
Four lower campers are stuck in the ropes course. I meant to tell you yesterday.
From before.
From godspell for the talent show tonight.
From Millburn, New Jersey. State bird: The Mosquito.
Fuck no, dude. She's hot! In fact, fuck off.
Gail, if I could just interject something here.
Gail, look at me. Gail, look at me.
Gail.
Gee, I was really impressed by some of the stuff you said back there.
Gee, Susie, have you seen Katie anywhere?
Gene, I'm really sorry, you know. If I could change history, I would.
Get McKinley laid!
Get out of the van. Out. Out.
Give me another.
Give me your hand.
God, am I at the Cleveland playhouse or something?
Goddamn it, Katie! You're suffocating me!
Goes nowhere without his...
Going on your trip?
Good bye.
Good one, Beth.
Good.
Good. Keep your feet together.
Gotta talk to this kid.
Great, 'cause I have something at 11:00.
Great!
Guess I'm not all smart like you.
Guess what. A bunch of us went into town and got ice cream and hamburgers...
Guys, wait up!
Guys, we gotta get outta here.
Has been rejuvenated by the events of the past 24 hours.
Has really helped me get over the fact that I fought in the Vietnam war.
Have a great winter! I'm gonna go hump the fridge!
He gets so uncomfortable whenever we talk openly about sexual issues.
He snuck into the office and videotaped himself jerking off. You're kidding!
He's like this beautiful face and this incredible body,
He's my ex, ex husband.
Head lice and the plague... the bubonic plague.
Hello, Camp Firewood. Thank you for having me.
Hello? Hi, Gail.
Hello. Hi.
Her name is Katie, and she's really great.
Here they are. Hey, Gary.
Here we go.
Hey, Abby.
Hey, Andy, can I take out the motorboat and drive around the lake?
Hey, Andy?
Hey, aren't you gonna eat anything?
Hey, Beth. We're just having ourselves a little cry.
Hey, Gene. Any mashed potatoes?
Hey, guys, how was Waterville?
Hey, guys.
Hey, Katie, wait. I'm sorry about before.
Hey, McKinley.
Hey, what's up? I was just...
Hey, you guys!
Hey, you. Penny for your thoughts.
Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Hey! What's goin' on?
Hey! You know what? It would be a great idea...
Hey.
Hey. Hey!
Hey. Whatcha writin' on?
Hi, dad. Okay, are you guys sitting down?
Hi, mom. Could you get dad?
Hi, Ron. What do you want? Um, well...
Holy cow!
How 'bout we grab some lunch and watch the capture the flag game?
How about Debbie freeman? She's in heat!
How do I know it's real this time?
How do I put this? The, uh, sci fi,
Huh?
Huh? What's up?
Hurry up! I think I can see it coming towards us!
I almost like it better that way.
I am going to be with Abby Bernstein tonight. And if you don't like it, you know what?
I am no Ruth Buzzi standing here!
I am not jok... I am not Ruth Buzzi standing here.
I am telling you, the musical numbers are a mess,
I can't, Neil, okay? This is my only chance.
I could be up for the Hopkins prize for physics.
I could make you feel so good.
I could make you feel so good.
I do not need you to undermine me, okay?
I don't even care that he cheats on me.
I don't know where you find the time to learn about astrophysics.
I don't know who he is, but I do know this.
I don't know.
I don't know. But if it does, we'll all be heroes.
I don't know. I think I'd wear a sexy dress or something.
I don't think so, Ronald von Kleinenshtein.
I feel like this entire summer, which kind of sucked,
I fondle my sweaters, and I often like to smear mud on my ass.
I get it. It's very funny. Stop.
I gotta go and call my bud and see how his grades are.
I gotta...
I guess I have to get used to that.
I hate white people!
I have a boyfriend, Coop.
I have been busting my balls, woman!
I have been programmed...
I have some unfinished business to attend to.
I have to admit. Abby Bernstein is one of the only berry bushes...
I have to get used to saying ex, ex, ex.
I hereby consecrate and sanctify the union...
I just want it to be special. Fuck you, dyke!
I just want to spend some time with you. It's our last day at camp.
I just want to take off my shirt.
I kind of paved the way with that one, but...
I knew this would happen. I would meet you, fall in love and you would leave me.
I know what this group needs.
I know you're all getting ready for the big talent show tonight,
I know you're all hungry for the picnic,
I know, and it's very, very funny.
I know. It's just that I'm 34 years old.
I love you, baby. So good talking to you.
I love you.
I made it! I'm okay!
I mean, with camp payroll and insurance to deal with.
I mean, yes, actually. Yes, it is. It was.
I mean, you clearly said, smear mud on my ass.
I met somebody. Well, she's got this other boyfriend,
I need an apartment for two people.
I need you and Neil to take The Eagles out on Moose river. I made them a promise.
I need you to be helpful here, okay?
I now believe that object was none other...
I put it to you, Camp Firewood,
I really don't think so.
I said I'm gonna fondue with cheddar.
I said I'm gonna fondue with cheddar.
I said stick team.
I said stick team.
I said, hey, guys. What's your glitz, Gene?
I said, I hear my bud's in class.
I see you decided to come teach the campers, Henry.
I still totally want to be friends.
I study space, stars, comets and that kind of thing.
I teach astrophysics over at the college in the school year.
I think you know what I'm talking about.
I thought you'd never ask.
I want to introduce you guys to someone. This is my friend.
I want to make love to you!
I want you to say okay.
I was in the Vietnam war.
I was supposed to be in the woods with Andy this afternoon, but...
I was thinking about making fondue with cheddar cheese for dinner tonight.
I was thinking that what happened between us before was a mistake.
I wasn't thinking straight. It was wrong.
I went to camp so long ago that fucking Jesus Christ was my counselor!
I went to sleep away camp so long ago that it was the stone age.
I will not fuck off.
I wish there was another way. Maybe we should just let them die.
I would like to announce that Ben and I are planning to produce a musical number...
I write my thoughts in it every day.
I'd do my hair. Oh, get out of town!
I'd like to introduce us to the emcee for the evening.
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you all...
I'll bring him back here if it's the last thing I do, dead or alive.
I'll have a whole new life!
I'm a little shy around children. But it's been great!
I'm a little worried they might have found out about us. Hey!
I'm associate Professor Neumann.
I'm chokin', all right? Give me some breathing room.
I'm gonna tell you something, but I swear to God, if you tell anybody...
I'm just afraid I'm never gonna meet anybody.
I'm just an associate professor.
I'm just gonna stop by my bunk for a real quick sec.
I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired, you know?
I'm not being ridiculous! I'm just saying I want her.
I'm not getting out of town, and I'm serious. And I'd use a little mousse.
I'm not hungry.
I'm okay, you're okay.
I'm pregnant. We're gonna have a baby.
I'm pretty sure he said dick cream, but...
I'm ready to give our marriage another shot. What do you say?
I'm really sorry.
I'm serious here. I am not joking around.
I'm so late. I have to go meet Jim... Stansel.
I'm sorry, I'm late. I thought we said 9:30.
I'm sorry. Ben is producing, I am directing/choreographing.
I'm speaking from personal experience, but if you can't carry a tune...
I'm sure we can convince one of the girls from bunk 10 to boink McKinley.
I'm the director. I would know...
I'm up for tenure this fall.
I've been seeing you around, so I thought I'd take a chance...
I've been thinking about you a lot.
I've got my drones working hard on a breakfast time rock... Hey.
I've got them making miniature black holes with paper clips and soot.
I've grown up a lot since before dinner when we last talked.
I've just had too many woulda coulda shouldas in my life.
I've seen more fucked up shit happen in five minutes out there...
If I don't make my mark soon, I could end up out of work.
If I was looking for a book on astrophysics, where would I find one?
If there's anything I can do to make your last day more enjoyable, let me know.
If you came by the camp and taught the campers about space.
If you're going into town, can you pick me up something at the drugstore?
Ignore that last comment.
In fact, I just got word that if we pull this off,
In order to calibrate the deferential.
In order to do it, we would somehow have to be able...
In the back room.
In the pine hills of Westchester, New York.
Instead of sleeping bags, we had sleeping pelts.
Ira Stevenberg, Sol Zimmerstein,
Is a crew member here on spaceship earth.
Is Susie's drama group.
Is that wind?
Is this gonna save my camp?
Isn't.
It feels so good. I love you.
It is possible, and it happened... on my shoes.
It means that I'm...
It means, Melvyn...
It seemed like nothing was gonna go right. But, guys,
It smells like the ribs are ready.
It sounds like well worn territory.
It was a war we couldn't win, Gene.
It was in 1908 that the first American summer camps were founded in the Catskills.
It was the ice age!
It was us rolling the dice that diverted it, right?
It was. It used to be, I mean, legally.
It...
It's at least two hours, Vic. Try to forget about Abby.
It's cold.
It's him! Victor! Victor!
It's just barbecue sauce. Come on. I wanna make out.
It's just that my husband Ron...
It's me, Ron.
It's my favorite shirt.
It's no big deal. they were totally cool.
It's not gonna work for you. Okay, how about this as a compromise?
It's the last day of camp. It's not gonna work for me.
It's very...
It's working!
Just be honest about it.
Just curious. Keep up the good work.
Just get him.
Just make sure you fill it up with gas when you're done, and watch out...
Katie, I came here to tell you I'm leaving.
Katie, let's go.
Katie, you're hot, right?
Katie! Are you in here?
Keep going. We're with you. I'm a total wreck! I don't even know where the crayons are.
Keeping parents happy, supervising a young staff.
Last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic.
League of nations. That brings in the whole thing of united nations.
Less than.
Let's do it!
Let's give a Firewood welcome to Mr. Alan Shemper!
Let's give him a hand.
Let's go, girls! You look hot.
Let's go!
Let's go!
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let's meet in the morning so we can make a day of it.
Let's pray to God this works.
Let's say 9:00, that way we can be here by 9:30.
Let's see. Debbie Waxman?
Like the new look. Tres chic.
Listen to me, you fucked up little cigarette smoking piece of shit.
Listen, Valerie,
Look at Lindsay's chicken wings.
Look at me, ma!
Look, Gene, I've never told anyone this before.
Look, I don't care what you do in your private time, but don't lie about it.
Looks like everything worked out for you two.
Man, I'd give anything for two minutes in the closet with Lindsay.
May their majestic and blessed love...
Maybe go out to Gunner's Pass one last time.
Maybe see the world. I got a couple more weeks before school starts.
Maybe you should talk to him.
Maybe you shouldn't jump the gun just yet, Coop.
Maybe. I don't think so.
McKinley and Ben!
McKinley needs to experience the ultimate.
McKinley's a fag.
Mooooose!
Moose, as in...
Moose?
Morning activity time.
Morning activity time.
Mr. Rubber Burner.
My baby!
My fav... I totally know this one.
My gurnal.
My gurnal.
My name is Keith Stack.
Nancy! Hello.
Nerdy, indoor kids?
Nevertheless, please welcome them.
Nice to meet you. I'm Henry.
No doubt about it. And that's great.
No particular reason. But if you see her, will you tell her I'm looking for her?
No, as mousse for your hair. Right! Right!
No, dickhead. Sex.
No, don't tell her that I will. Tell her that I might.
No, I couldn't possibly.
No, I have not.
No, it wasn't wrong. Katie, why are you doing this?
No, it's impossible.
No, it's not.
No, no, it's all right.
No, no, no. No, no, no, no.
No, no! It's okay. I can see him later.
No, no. It's nothing you need worry about...
No, really, it was the stone age. But, folks,
No, we don't have one. Thank you!
No, you can't hear the ocean, but you can learn a great deal about our world.
No! No! No!
No. And I'm not gonna rest until my mission is accomplished, okay?
No. Well, yes, but that's not the point.
No. What a weird thing to say.
No. why?
Not to talk to earth denizens...
Now, if you don't mind,
Now?
Of classifications J.J. and McKinley I zoid.
Of McKinley and Ben.
Off the top of my head, I'd have to say a bookstore.
Oh, Coop, you know I'm just kidding.
Oh, Coop. Look at Abby.
Oh, God!
Oh, God!
Oh, God! Thank you!
Oh, Henry, I'm so happy.
Oh, I was thinking maybe we could take a walk later,
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God. Don't. I...
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, no. When?
Oh, she always wins!
Oh, she wants to fuck me. So help me God.
Oh, shit!
Oh, yeah. Sure.
Oh, you mean a journal.
Oh.
Oh. I'm sorry. We can go back. We should go back.
Oh. Oh, baby!
Okay, any...
Okay, but not here.
Okay, Coop, now I'm colder than I was before when I said I was cold.
Okay, everybody, attention. I've got an announcement.
Okay, fine.
Okay, kids. Um, today we're going to use...
Okay, let's get to business.
Okay, okay. Okay, cool.
Okay, see you later.
Okay, so I'm Ron and I'm calling you. Here we go. Ring, ring.
Okay, so what is it? Is it like 9:00 or 9:30?
Okay, stop! I feel like I'm watching regional theater, you guys.
Okay!
Okay?
Okay? All right.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. I'm sorry.
Okay. Okay, what's his address?
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay. Later, then.
Okay. then I'll cancel that order of onions and Limburger cheese I made for lunch today.
Okay. Uh, that's a.
Okay. Wait here.
Okay. We're getting closer. Give me another. Seven.
Okay. We're getting closer. Give me another. Seven.
On your face. You, uh...
One last, successful B.K.F.S.T...
One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.
Only three people are allowed to look at this... Me, myself and I.
Only Victor knows how to navigate those rapids.
Ooh. Thank you!
Or as we used to call it, arts and farts and crafts.
Our first act hails all the way from over in bunk 2.
Outcast, loose cannon?
Ow!
Please speak now or forever hold your peace.
Please, stop! No, no, no!
Prancing around on stage making my life a living hell!
Pulsars, heliocentricity, gravitational collapse...
Rachael Clipperhofferman,
Radical.
Really? Okay. Who's your favorite astrophysicist?
Right here, right here.
Right. Thanks for everything.
Ron... I love you,
Ruth Buzzi better watch her back.
Secret handshake?
See ya.
See you later, man.
Seriously, it wasn't the stone age.
She might be. She's got a pretty big nose.
She wants to fuck me.
So all is lost.
So don't eat too many barbecued bovine muscles.
So I could tell you what's going on.
So I say, when those anonymously evil campers from Tiger Claw get here,
So I'm coming to you, not as your buddy,
So it is and it isn't.
So listen, they just aren't into it. It's kind of trite.
So rabbi Rothstein says, sim, sim, sim, sim, ata...
So that's where my priorities are right now.
So the early bus to Boston can pick them up at 7:30 a.m.
So this is the Skylab tracking device?
So would you... slacks? Pants?
So you left the campers alone on the river?
So, obviously I think we should get together in the city next weekend.
So, seize the day, Camp Firewood, because it's your last.
So, you work at the camp?
So... you're gonna have to give it back.
Some crayons...
Somehow we made it to the finals.
Sorry, folks for the coitus interuptus, if you will.
Sorry. that was...
Space... the final frontier.
Stand back.
Steve? What you got there?
Sticks and stones may break my bones, and meaning it!
Stop picking it up!
Style council. That's a good band. They're hot now. Human league.
Sucks dick we never got to know each other.
Sure.
Susie is gonna score with McKinley.
Take a break! Think about what you've done.
Take a shower.
Team of misfits, and we've been training like crazy all summer.
Tell that to my dean.
Than a renegade piece of Skylab, the NASA space station.
Than you'll see in your whole fucking life.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, Gene.
That brings in the whole category of countries.
That I have yet to pollinate, if you get my meaning.
That the campers you're about to see suck dick.
That there is no Broadway ditty...
That was, bar none, the longest conversation I've had with her in six years of camp.
That way, the other campers can get to know you.
That would take some sort of super mainframe computer and we don't have one.
That? Oh, you're good. Sexy dress.
That's a 1.3 million mile trip every year!
That's exactly what I mean.
That's from us to bunk 7!
That's it, Lars.
That's true, that's true.
The birthplace of spaghetti and pasta, all the oily stuff... Italy.
The bunk 5 boys are gonna freak out when they see you at kick ball. Let's go.
The crayon is right there.
The Eagles are going to go out on Moose river...
The Fox.
The Hopkins award!
The only other phone is in the infirmary! We gotta go!
The phone! Where's the fucking phone?
The whole thing feels kind of trite. I say we forget it.
Then he's gonna need some eyewitnesses for verification.
There are literally hundreds of colored markers.
These motherfuckers be like, don't make me say it twice.
They be like, hey, asshole, I'm going to kick your behind.
They have some good stuff.
They're really horny this summer.
They're total nymphos! Throw the ball!
This feels so good.
This is an excuse to do some good musical theater.
This is Arty Solomon here.
This is cool! It's really a great shirt. I love it.
This is crazy. This is crazy.
This is for you.
This is gonna sound like I'm putting down my own gender,
This is The Beekeeper here on Camp Firewood radio.
Those being hamburgers. Thank you.
To a big, secret pizza party.
To be the guest of honor at our wedding next week.
To build a homemade Skylab tracking device!
To make some decorations for the talent show.
To repeatedly generate random numbers between one and twenty...
To slightly change its direction, but...
Today is the big culminating, climactic softball game...
Today is your day, 'cause you don't wanna go back home...
Tonight is the big talent show.
Toward a little oasis that I like to call...
Uh, David... Ben Gurion.
Uh, I just got... I don't have time now.
Um, I want to talk to you later, okay?
Um, what else... what else would one do if one were...
Um, you're gonna think this is so shallow,
Um...
Um... if I can't find him,
Very good, very good.
Victor Pulak, there's a raft of campers about to go over devil's canyon rapids!
Victor Pulak, You're okay by me.
Victor, I hate to break it to you, but your name didn't even come up.
Victor!
Victor.
Wait a minute! There might be a way...
Wait a minute! There might be a way...
Wait a minute.
Wait, hold on, Beth. I've already told them,
Wait, Katie!
Wait.
Wait.
Way to go, guys!
We could avert a tragedy on the scale of the Hindenburg.
We could draw with the markers.
We did doggy style, pony style.
We give it our best shot, and we try to come from behind at the last minute...
We gonna get a chance to spend time together?
We had a kooky training period where it seemed like...
We have put together an unlikely...
We sail on aboard the good ship Firewood...
We saved everyone's life and they'll never know it.
We used to make drawings.
We were just friends.
We'll die without him. He's the only one who can navigate the river.
We're losing time!
We've got to find him and get him back to that river.
Well, do you want my flannel?
Well, earlier today, I saw what I thought was possibly a planet,
Well, I know how you guys worry that I have trouble meeting girls.
Well, I should get going. she's probably looking for me.
Well, I'm just...
Well, it's fine with me.
Well, it's the last day of camp...
Well, like I said before, astrophysics.
Well, there might be a way that we could use our device...
Well, we made it to the end of the summer in one piece,
What about Susie?
What are we doing?
What are you doing here?
What are you looking at?
What are you talking about?
What do you say, team?
What I had to go through to see you?
What you do is so fascinating!
What you may not know is that I also own a bottle of dick cream.
What?
What?
What?
What? What are you doing with your hand?
What? What?
What'd you say, shithead?
Whatever, if you want. J.J., save me a waffle, man.
When I was at camp, my favorite activity was always arts and crafts.
When Jonas and I separated, I thought everything was lost.
When we first started hanging out together this morning...
Where did he go, anyway? I don't know.
Where to start? Well, the obvious one.
Which is my way of saying we were cavemen.
White folks are so stupid when they get mad.
Who doesn't have anyone to kiss tonight after the talent show.
Who goes by the name of... Steve.
Who'd like to spend the last day at camp doing science projects?
Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoo!
Why does she still have her clothes on?
Why don't we say 9:30,
Why else would she be talking to you?
Why? What's the problem?
Will you help teach me about this...
With some weird trick play that we made up and we win the game.