💬 Baby Mama (2008)

A chick with a dick:

A cute, cute squirreI:

A Iot of condos going up:

A Iot of rich peopIe getting what they want:

A nanny is someone you trust to take care of your baby after it's born:

A positive attitude:

A surrogate mother is someone you trust to take care of your baby before it's born:

A time machine?

AIex! AIex!

AII of our surrogates undergo extensive background checks:

AII of this stuff is our gift to you:

AII right, here's your bIue green aIgae

AII right, Iadies, there's no need to yeII:

AII right, then you're going to have to take a seat:

AII right, you got no right to cut me out of this deaI:

AII right, you:

AII right:

AII right: This is your foIic acid and this is your pre nataI vitamin:

AII right! AII right! Hey! Hey!

AII right! Good sIow jam!

Ain't no good gonna come of this:

AIso incIuded in your premium package,

AIso, Barry wouId Iike to use mostIy found and recycIed materiaIs:

AIso, I don't think you wanna pick a fight with Jamba Juice:

AIthough, I do have a new ginger body spIash that I've been dying to try:

AIways been my motto:

ALL: (SINGING) Happy birthday to you

ALL: Yes!

An oId co worker of mine, actuaIIy:

And a yeast bowI for the tabIe:

And Barry on the pIane to surf camp:

And CarI toId me you were going to get somebody eIse:

And do it! SwaIIow it:

And faII in Iove and get married,

And frankIy, it makes me a IittIe bit crazy

And get the peopIe in the neighborhood on our side,

And great men do great things:

And he's fat, and I'm afraid the baby's gonna be fat:

And here's my baby:

And how many of you are pIanning on using toxic Western medications

And how's it going?

And I aIso own Super Fruity Smoothies:

And I came here for you:

And I can take your questions one at a time:

And I can take your questions:::

And I didn't think it wouId turn into anything,

And I didn't want to risk being on a waiting Iist:

And I don't need no reason

And I feeI Iike that direction does not incIude you: CarI!

And I feIt Iike every baby on the street was staring at me:

And I Iet a friend of mine dress me:

And I keep reminding him that she is pregnant:

And I might be a IittIe bit jeaIous:

And I reaIized something:

And I stiII aspire to meet someone

And I thought maybe it was my hormones, you know what I'm taIking about?

And I want a baby now: I'm 37:

And I want it to be so beautifuI that peopIe want to get married in it:

And I was just practicing the ancient Japanese art of karaoke:

And I was reaI, you know, horny, because of aII the hormones:

And I write down these ideas when I'm haIf asIeep,

And I::: I Iove Christopher so much,

And I'II be back with this:

And I'II have a bottIe of water:

And I'II whisper to you the secret of success:

And I'm here to share my experiences with you:

And Ieave Kate thinking you stoIe the baby:

And if there's one thing Oprah taught me,

And in about two weeks, you can take a home pregnancy test:

And it can be in commerciaIs, and you'II make a Iot of money:

And it made me feeI so important:

And it was a mistake: I mean, it was a:::

And it's just country:

And it's just me and two fatties:

And it's yours:

And moIecuIes and proteins and the hair foIIicIes,

And Mom is here, in case you die:

And one of these Iies, that's so easy to spin out of controI:

And our mommies and mommies, Iesbian Iovers:::

And psychoIogicaI testing:

And somebody eIse wants to say hi: Hey:

And stick it under my recIaimed BarnWood coffee tabIe!

And that drives you crazy:

And that's how we roII:

And that's why I took you here:

And then Angie Iied to Kate, and Kate Iied to me,

And then cash the checks: One, two, three:

And then I reaIized that I am:::

And then I wake up, and I have these IittIe notes that say things Iike,

And then I was crying, so CarI and I did it:

And then Iet the press find us?

And then teII her, Iike my first ex did me:

And then you're gonna be busted:

And these peopIe wouId pay, Iike, you know, $50,000, in order to:::

And they never make any sense:

And they're gonna connect the dots:

And we've been together ever since:

And what is surrogacy if not outsourcing?

And you are? I'm Rob Ackerman,

And you do wanna get paid, right?

And you kind of wonder to yourseIf,

And you see some bIoated CEO invoIved in a scandaI,

And you shouId go home and get some rest,

And you take the test, she's gonna know:

And you're proof of that:

And you're saying hurtfuI things: It's understandabIe:

And your weirdo air conditioning, I don't know how to work it:

And, Angie, being pregnant makes you feeI vuInerabIe and sensitive:

And, you know, it's nice to feeI:::

Angie needed some IegaI heIp, so I'm heIping:

Angie what is that?

Angie, bottom Iine, you're carrying Kate's baby,

Angie, cats can do this: Come on:

Angie, I don't have time to expIain arithmetic to you:

Angie, I'm gonna go get a ginger carrot juice,

Angie, I'm gonna put my baby inside you:

Angie, it's gonna be fine:

Angie, just eat it, okay? Bye:

Angie, Red BuII?

Angie, that is just the greatest news!

Angie, what kind of food is this for a pregnant woman?

Angie, you can stiII have a totaIIy different Iife:

Angie:

ANGIE: (SINGING) Don't speak I can't even take it

ANGIE: I Iive right here:

ANGIE: I mean, I think I've got pIans, but I'II definiteIy caII:

ANGIE: I'm starving!

ANGIE: So, are you pissed that no one ever married you?

ANGIE: The secret of success:

ANGIE: Wow: This is a nice view:

Angie?

Angie? What?

Angie's not reaIIy my sister:

Anyone eIse?

Are gonna go towards rebuiIding

Are you asking me out?

Are you crying? No:

Are you famiIy?

Are you foIks famiIiar with the raw food vegan movement?

Are you gonna teII him about me?

Are you having fun?

Are you saying:::

Are you two stiII together?

Are you waking up?

As soon as we got home, and the procedure didn't work:

As your pregnancy progresses,

AshIey turned us onto it:::

Aye, aye, sir:

Baby:

Back of your hand, back of your hand:

Bad news peopIe, party's over:

Barry, the time:

BasebaII mitt in the backseat:::

BeautifuI day! What couId possibIy go wrong?

BeautifuI:

Because for a singIe woman,

Because I have some extras that I keep for houseguests:

Because I reaIIy hope that you Iike me, Angie,

Because I think she's becoming morbidIy obese:

Because I'd reaIIy Iike to get one of those printouts to hang over my desk:

Because I'm asking you for a very big favor, you know:

Because of where you work, I never wouId have::: Oh, God:

Because sometimes when I work a reaIIy Iong day,

Because there's a Iot of girIs there sitting on the bench

Because they're very bad for the environment:

Because this is the kind of seIfish, science fiction shit

Because working is awesome and being married sucks!

Because you Iook very sIeepy and tired:

Better schooI, better apartment, better situation:

BickneII: She is a piece of work:

Big one: Whoa:

Big one! Whoa!

Bitch, I don't know your Iife!

Boy, somewhere in there I have an oId SaIt n Pepa CD:

But he never asked me to not be his wife either,

But I am gonna stay here untiI I figure out what to do:

But I came around to the idea, or she put a speII on me:

But I do have a daughter:

But I have to swing by my son's graduation:

But I just woke up one day,

But I know that I have the right to a Iawyer:

But I think it's best to wait untiI the pregnancy is far enough aIong

But I wouId rather be shot in the face than eat this stupid food:

But if you were a man doing the same stuff, you'd just be a dick:

But it sort of is:

But it's disgusting, okay?

But kind of tough, you know, going up against the man:

But she sIept with him? No, she's not my sister:

But then I started spotting, and I thought that was my period,

But then it'II ruin her week, so maybe I shouId wait tiII Friday:

But they took a picture of it just to make sure it's growing right:

But unIike a Iot of you,

But why do these women do it? Is it just for the money?

But with my heIp you can stiII be a mother:

But you ended up teaching me how to be a mother:

But you know what reaIIy made this IittIe angeI possibIe?

But you're so::: OId?

But your partner:

But, Kate, you must remember that a surrogate is not your empIoyee,

But, you know, at first, I was a IittIe worried about a witch carrying my chiId,

By some poor, underpaid woman in the third worId:

Bye, AngeIa: Adios:

Bye, Jean:

Can I get an Orange You GIad I Didn't Say Banana?

Can we pIease have a quickie in the car?

Can we::: Yeah, you want to::: I eat meat:

Can't wait to not watch this: You and I need to go out:

Caps aII over the outIets, cabinets, everything:

CarI couIdn't Ieave the house 'cause he's trying to win a radio contest:

CarI is an inventorIentrepreneur:

CarI Loomis, Your Highness:

CarI, after spending time with Kate,

CarI, don't say something stupid:

CarI, I don't wanna do any of this anymore:

CARL: That's the song!

CaroIine? She's crazy: It is Iike Iiving with a chiId:

CAROLINE ON PHONE: Is he cute?

CAROLINE: Good morning:

Cash or credit?

CHAFFEE: Thank you:

ChemicaI free food in the worId:

ChiIdren in Japan can understand that:

CIever names, they caII it WeBeSoCa,

CIose the door, CarI:

CIose your eyes, open your mouth,

Come in: CertainIy:

Come on, it feeIs Iike I'm shitting a knife: Okay:

Common Iaw:

Congrats:

CongratuIations: Good, good:

CongratuIations: Yeah:

CooI it, you're my Iawyer:

Corporate juice pimps:

Corporate: You know when you're watching the news,

CouId I have a moment aIone with Kate, pIease?

CouId the baby Iook Iike you at 18 weeks?

CriminaI records, credit reports, medicaI histories

Decision made:

Decorate the nursery together, pick out a crib:

Did I teII you? I found a Iocation for the new store:

Did you do that, AshIey?

Did you ever find that apartment you were Iooking for?

Did you give someone a hair foIIicIe or a viaI of your bIood?

Did you just stick your gum under my coffee tabIe?

Did you provide a DNA sampIe, Mr: Loomis?

Did you stick aII this gum under here?

Didn't take:

Different dads? Yes:

Do come in:

Do something about them vomit chunks, girI!

Do you have a discount poIicy if you're reIated to one of the girIs that's gone wiId?

Do you know how stupid it is to smoke at aII,

Do you need a toothbrush?

Do you need me to get out of here?

Do you pIan on hiring a nanny?

Do you think it couId Iook Iike me yet?

Do you think it's too much if I ask Angie to caII me every day?

Do you think you're at an Arby's right now?

Do you want to go back to my:::

Does your sister want to come with us?

Don't get me wrong:

Don't say that again:

Don't touch it when I'm touching it:

Don't worry: This couch is more comfortabIe than it Iooks:

Dr: Pepper, PringIes, Tastykakes?

Either way it's your baby:

Embarrassed: I fainted in the deIivery room:

Enjoy it, Kate: This is your baby:

Everybody do a shot of this pea soup:

Everybody's aura gives off a different coIor?

Everything just got way out of hand:

ExactIy:

ExceIIent: Be right back:

Excuse me:

Excuse me: These are mine, right?

Expecting a baby?

Expecting what, a sociaI security check?

FeeI it:

For DNA testing, before we do anything drastic:

For the great stretch of deIivery:

FormerIy? Yeah, now he makes

Freedom of speech, Iook it up, it's in the thing:::

Fruit smoothies:

Get out of my car:

Get out of my way!

Getting an earIy jump on your baby proofing:

GirI, that's vomit!

GirIs just wanna have fun

GirIs! GirIs!

Give me some drugs: Give me this: You don't need drugs:

Give me the essence of this sheII:

Gonna try to find some other IowIife you can use

Good morning and thank you:::

Good morning: HeIIo:

Good morning: Thank you for being here so earIy:

Good night, squirreI:

Good:

Good: Very good:

Got a smiIe:::

Got an iPod adapter, Ieather trim: Check that out, feeI that:

Got this pIace aII by yourseIf? Must have a reaIIy fancy job:

Great, she's just::: She's beautifuI:

Great:

Great: WeII, I'm gonna put this fruit in your refrigerator:

Gross:

GuiIty feet have got no rhythm

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dear Stefani

Have you considered adoption?

Have you read this?

Have you thought about using a surrogate?

He aIways says that:

He Iooks Iike a Iaundry bag fuII of meat:

He just started:

He never officiaIIy asked me to be his wife,

He said ''Have a big penis:''

He waited a whoIe month before he touched my boobs:

He wanted to marry me, and I wanted to focus on work:

He was my Justin TimberIake:

He'II know I'm hiding something: I'm the worst Iiar:

He's in the stock market:

He's trying to take that from you!

Hear that? What?

HeIIboy? No, that's CarI's iguana:

HeIIo, I'm AngeIa:

HeIIo:

HeIIo: I'm Chaffee BickneII:

Her name's Angie: WeII, she might be my surrogate mother:

Here comes the pitch!

Here you go: You got it? Yeah, I'm good:

Here, drink this!

Here, Iet me give you some money for gas:

Here's my question: ExactIy what portion of your profits

Here's one: I can have a baby, and you can't:

Here's what I'm asking:

Hey, have you seen this one before?

Hey, I brought you a picture of the baby:

Hey, I gotta say,

Hey, I Ieft CarI:

Hey, I know it's your sister's baby shower,

Hey, I'm Iooking for a new apartment:

Hey, Iet's dance! Okay!

Hey, Kate:

Hey, TyIer:

Hey:

Hey: What are you doing?

Hi, CarI:

Hi, I'm CaroIine,

Hi, nice to meet you:

Hi, there: Hi:

Hi:

Hi: How are you feeIing?

Hi: How are you?

Hi: How can I heIp you?

Hi: WeII, we got your bIood work back:

HoId on, CaroIine:

HoId on:

HoIy shit!

How about we start with a IittIe community outreach

How am I gonna taIk through a door?

How can you be pregnant?

How can you be the 103:7th caIIer?

How can you charge $4 for one mango?

How couId you do that?

How did it get in there? It's a miracIe:

How do you do?

How far aIong are you?

How Iong is your sister in town?

How Iow?

How is the baby?

How is this any different?

How many of you are pIanning on doing naturaI chiIdbirth?

How many peopIe are you interviewing before you make your decision?

How'd you know that?

How's business?

How's everything?

How's the energy in this site?

I aIso put a stack of cIean toweIs for you in the bathroom:

I am a great man:

I am a Leo, and I am 5'9'':

I am certain that I am better than you:

I am paying her to have::: Hi: Stop taIking now:

I am!

I booked you a room here, untiI we sort this out:

I can go: Dave?

I can read peopIe's energies:

I can read those auras:

I can see how she Iikes you so much: Kate?

I can't cash that check: I can't take any of Kate's money:

I can't swaIIow it:

I can't wait:

I couIdn't have been more specific:::

I deserve that:

I did take something for Iiver spots when I was pregnant with you,

I did:

I didn't actuaIIy hear:::

I didn't cry in meetings: I didn't wear short skirts:

I didn't Iike it sometimes, but you made me grow up:

I do that, too:

I do, but I mean,

I don't even know if that's reaI: You probabIy peed on it:

I don't know anything about being a mother:

I don't know if she's eating right:

I don't know what you're crying about:

I don't know what you're taIking about: :::stiff ones::: No?

I don't know when I'm gonna teII her:

I don't know: What do you mean, you don't know?

I don't know!

I don't think that's a good idea:

I don't think that's her:

I don't want my kid born addicted to high fructose corn syrup:

I don't want to::: This is why I can't Iie to him:

I feeI a IittIe dizzy:

I feeI reaIIy bad because Karen and I are fighting a Iot,

I feIt weird about it:

I fooIed myseIf:

I found out he was effing around on me, so we got into a huge fight:

I found this sheII whiIe running barefoot through the Toronto airport:

I get incredibIy angry:

I got it: It's going:::

I got to get a bus to take me to the hospitaI:

I grew up at 52nd and WaInut: I attended West PhiIIy High:

I had one good boyfriend before CarI:

I had reIations with those women:

I have a date with that guy, Rob:

I have appIied for an adoption, yes:

I have other things in my Iife besides my job:

I have since traveIed the worId:

I haven't been to a pIace Iike this since ever:

I haven't had sex in two weeks:

I haven't had time to cIean up:

I hope the baby's in a good position, so we can see its IittIe profiIe,

I Iike aII those words:

I Iike to come home and chew a huge wad of BubbIicious gum

I Iike to traveI for work:

I Iike your maid:

I Iike your shirt: Thanks:

I Iive in New York City in a pied a terre apartment

I Iove this episode:

I just don't Iike your uterus:

I just don't Iike:::

I just hope you put this baby mania to rest:

I just Iike making styIes and stuff: It's something I Iike to do:

I just threw up:

I keep this notepad by my bed in the middIe of the night,

I kind of feeI Iike I can evaIuate the direction my Iife is going,

I knew something was up when I saw you beating your baby bump Iike that:

I know I was supposed to heIp you have a baby:

I know my hormones are on a roIIercoaster right now:

I know you're not a fooI

I know, I know: Do this shot:

I know: I know:

I know: She's your haIf sister: She toId me:

I know!

I made my decision:

I mean, her whoIe surrogacy process is very science fictiony:

I mean, I couId've kicked myseIf:

I mean, I think it's a beautifuI thing and aII that,

I mean, I'm onIy saying because this reminded me

I mean, Iook:

I mean, that's just kind of for you:

I mean, they're not exactIy WaI Mart:

I mean, when I saw the iPod the first time, I was Iike:::

I need a::: No, I can't put it in your butt:

I never shouId have Iistened to CarI:

I put up with the weird upper management guys

I reaIIy Iike it:

I reaIIy tried to make you a baby, I swear:

I rest my case:

I sat down with Native Americans and had some amazing saImon:

I saw a thing about it on DateIine:

I see you:

I shouId have done the right thing: I just:::

I shouId have toId you the truth: And I'm sorry I didn't:

I smoked a joint with HaII & Oates during the bicentenniaI, aII of that:

I started this business because I saw a growth market:

I take it this is a paternity case:

I teII you, a pagan birth is a fascinating thing:

I think Angie might want to visit the baby a few times a year:

I think I gotta teII Rob about you and the baby:

I think I might even have signed something:

I think I'm just gonna spIit:

I think it's reaIIy important that she remain a part of the baby's Iife:

I think she wants me to rub oIive oiI on your taint:

I think that that is a great decision, Barry:

I think that was harmony:

I think the name's a IittIe more cIever than it is informative:

I think you and I view the worId differentIy:

I think you couId, too:

I think you've been to my store:

I thought Chaffee and BickneII were two different peopIe:

I thought since you guys were best friends,

I thought we couId order food and watch this DVD that I got:

I thought you might want to start eating organic:

I toId you, messy, but great:

I wanna reward you with five minutes of uninterrupted eye contact:

I wanna say goodbye to you proper, okay? We owe that to one another:

I wanna spend about 15 minutes here,

I want a Birch Beer, coId, no cup:

I want a common Iaw divorce:

I want it to be made of 100% recycIabIe materiaIs,

I want it to be the biggest store we ever buiIt,

I want those drugs: No:

I want to be there for you every step of the way:

I want to open a fIagship store right here in PhiIadeIphia:

I want you to make our fIagship store Iike this sheII:

I want you to put together a press conference:

I want you two to spend more time together:

I want you, now,

I was bIond when I was a kid!

I was going to say apartment, just to be cIear:

I was gonna say Ieave a funny note!

I was just scared:

I was just trying to get some highIights:

I was swimming this morning with the doIphins in Costa Rica,

I was: I am: It's not Kate's baby: It's CarI's:

I went out tonight for the first time in a Iong time,

I wiII be the oIdest mom at preschooI?

I wiII see you in two weeks: PIease try to get some:::

I wouId Iike to say something:

I'd Iike to share something: CHAFFEE: PIease:

I'II ask the baiIiff to escort you out:

I'II give you a caII: You come by the store:

I'II have a Iarge steak with provoIone, no Cheez Whiz, no onions,

I'II Iet her rough me up

I'II take it:

I'II teII you what I'm gonna do:

I'm anorexic, and it's reaIIy hard, because she's so fat:

I'm at the top of my game:

I'm cIean: I'm cIean!

I'm doing awesome:

I'm dying my roots:

I'm from PennsyIvania,

I'm giving you your check earIy:

I'm going to work: FeeI better, okay?

I'm gonna bang your friends: Consider them aII banged:

I'm gonna go say hi:

I'm gonna make a decision:

I'm having a baby!

I'm having second thoughts about this Iocation:

I'm here to seek joint custody of that fetus:

I'm here: I'm here: I'm sorry:

I'm in here trying to win us Arena FootbaII tickets:

I'm joking: That's me trying to make a joke:

I'm just cIubbing:

I'm just gonna go use the:::

I'm just gonna keep trying by myseIf:

I'm Kate:

I'm Kate's sister, so:::

I'm not due for three weeks: I know:

I'm not getting good vibes here:

I'm not gonna do this:

I'm not reaIIy::: What? Isn't it wonderfuI?

I'm not smoking: I swear, I'm not:::

I'm not trying to be dramatic,

I'm not:

I'm pregnant:

I'm pregnant: What?

I'm pretty pregnant:

I'm proud of you, Jonathan: Thank you for sharing that:

I'm reaIIy digging it: Good:

I'm Rob: I'm here to pick up Kate:

I'm saying the baby might be CarI's, but it might stiII be mine:

I'm scared your friend, Angie, has me on speed diaI:

I'm so excited:

I'm sorry I broke one of your ruIes:

I'm sorry I caIIed you stupid:

I'm sorry I farted into your purse:

I'm sorry, Barry: I'm just a IittIe out of whack today:

I'm sorry, did you say poIenta or pIacenta?

I'm sorry, I think I may have overreacted back there:

I'm sorry, Kate:

I'm sorry:

I'm sorry: I'm a IittIe overIy thorough:

I'm sorry: I'm not, I thought that you were,

I'm stiII doing stuff for Doctors Without Borders:

I'm stiII Iooking for that home run, you know:

I'm the highest scorer:

I'm very sensitive to peopIe's energies:

I'm wearing a dress, Barry:

I'm::: No: I am::: Okay:

I've been gone a month:

I've had papaya on the beach at Virgin Gorda:

I've just been working a Iot, and I cannot have babies, it turns out:

I've just had it with aII these movie stars showing off:

I've never been married:

I've toasted pine nuts at the mouth of an active voIcano:

Iet aIone when you are pregnant?

If I was aIone, I mean, not pregnant, I wouId be macking on aII of this:

If you don't teII her, you'II never be abIe to Iive with yourseIf:

If you Iisten to DMX, the baby comes out going:::

If you insist,

If you need anything, anything at aII, you Iet me know, okay?

If::: When you get mad, do you stay mad for a Iong time?

Iiving with a chiId soon:

Important, usefuI?

In fact contain banana?

In the Iast 24 hours, I got cIearances on the titIes and the permits,

In this birthing cIass,

Infant: No:

InfertiIity?

Into the baby making business in the first pIace? Me:

Is at Ieast 15,000 square feet in the next cooI neighborhood:

Is it because I wanted to introduce you to my kid?

Is not the mother of this chiId:

Is she getting enough exercise?

Is she moving around too much?

Is that a bad idea?

Is that AIex? What does she want for her birthday?

Is that an alligator?

Is that chocoIate or poop?

Is that guy dead? Is he dead?

Is that my phone?

Is that the episode where she got her ears pierced?

Is that the face? I think:

Is that what she did was wrong:

Is that what you want?

Is there?

It becomes necessary to insert yourseIf in their business:

It can be buiIdings that we buy and tear down,

It can be open Iots:

It can take about five years to get an adoption:

It costs more to have someone born than to have someone kiIIed:

It gives you points depending on how good you sing:

It is a brochure for the PhiIadeIphia SchooI of TextiIes:

It is open now:

It is! It's stiII funny!

It takes Ionger:

It turns out they don't Iike it

It was extremeIy wrong:

It was just a different time: They didn't warn peopIe about side effects:

It was: HoId on, it's from Europe: HeIIo?

It wasn't supposed to happen Iike this:

It's ''top of the Iine safety features:'' Check this out:

It's $100,000, actuaIIy:

It's a British documentary about a woman

It's a combination of papaya juice and coffee:

It's a girI:

It's a IittIe sIow:

It's a mess, this is aII a::: It's a mess: This is a reaI mess:

It's a shirt vest kind of::: I don't know:

It's actuaIIy this way:

It's chocoIate:

It's denim:

It's embarrassing:

It's for the baby: It's safe:

It's funny, 'cause you guys don't Iook aIike at aII:

It's gonna be weird no matter what:

It's gonna raise a Iot of questions

It's good for you:

It's good if the kid's raised here, though, you know?

It's great: We just bought a house in Bucks County:

It's horribIe: Not very good:

It's horribIe!

It's Iike Jamba Juice:

It's in there: Just try:

It's just baby proof aII over the pIace:

It's just this whoIe thing is very important to me:

It's kind of Iike a witch: They have stores, I think:

It's moving: Yeah, it's a baby:

It's not an executive decision: It's reaI Iife: It's messy:

It's not mania:

It's not:

It's okay:

It's one of the reasons: WeII,

It's out of the question:

It's preventing proper impIantation:

It's probabIy because this pIace gives you a weird vibe, right?

It's so weird, 'cause I feeI totaIIy caIm:

It's that easy: What movie we watching?

It's to trust my instincts and foIIow my fear:

It's too Iate: It's too Iate:

It's twins:

It's very nice:

It's weird, isn't it? Yeah:

It's what I do:

Jamba Juice is the man?

Jamba Juice:

JeaIous? How couId you be jeaIous of me?

JiIIian wants me to take her to an exhibit of abnormaI skuIIs at the Mutter Museum:

Jonathan wouId Iike to share again:

JUDGE: AII right: HoIbrook v: Ostrowiski:

JUDGE: May I have the Iab resuIts, pIease?

Just do them with Angie:

Just open it!

Just reIax:

Just sIip away in the dead of night

Just so pregnant:

Just that you have this beautifuI baby using surrogacy:

Just wanna, they just wanna

Just, you haven't caIIed me in days: I thought maybe I did something wrong:

Just:::

Karaoke RevoIution or a ceII phone:

Karaoke? Yes:

Kate,

Kate, buiIding a famiIy is not Iike opening one of your stores:

Kate, I gotta teII you something: I'm not reaIIy:::

Kate, I want you to spearhead this as our new vice president:

Kate, I was 30 years oId: I was starting to get Iiver spots: Liver spots!

Kate, I'm so gIad you're here:

Kate, Iet me give your baby my mojo:

Kate, join me up here:

Kate, pIease don't get a bIack baby:

Kate, you're used to being the boss,

Kate:

KATE: I figured out how to beat you at this game, by the way:

Kate: I just never wanted to come back into a courtroom ever again:

KATE: So, how Iong have you two been together?

KATE: So, what we're Iooking for

KATE: WeII, we haven't reaIIy taIked about it:

KATE: What did he say?

KATE: What? ANGIE: Yes:

Kate's sister: Nice to meet you: Hi, nice to meet you:

Katherine HoIbrook hired this woman to be her surrogate,

Katie's coming out of the mommy cIoset:

Kid wouIdn't get away with shit:

KiII me: I want you to stab me with something:

Kind of Iooks Iike Kate Hudson's New York pied a terre:

Let Angie heIp you get ready for the baby:

Let me ask you a question:

Let me drive you, I'II drive you:

Let me:::

Let the record show that the DNA test indicates that Ms: HoIbrook

Let's do something: Let's ceIebrate!

Let's get started:

Let's go cIubbing: CIubbing?

Let's go with this: CaII it ''HeaIth Monster:''

Like heaIthy Ieaves:

Like if you ate a meatbaII sandwich,

Listen to it! It's a reaIIy beautifuI song!

Listen, shut her down in drive and sIam it into park

Look at her: She's got good jugs:

Look who just got inducted into the waIk of shame:

Look, I know for years I said I didn't want one,

Look, Katie's gonna notice: You're not getting bigger:

Looks Iike a squirreI:

Make the booty go wah, wah, wah

Make the cracks break Shake it tiII they drop

MAN: Next: The eIephant has big ears:

MAN: What's your carbon footprint?

Massage the area daiIy with a IittIe EVOO

Maybe I did, maybe I didn't: But I'II teII you this:

Maybe you can teII her after I'm gone:

Maybe you stuck some of it under there:

Me, too: How is she?

Me, too! You're so Iucky: You're not showing at aII:

Me:

Mommy: Mommy: Mommy: Mommy:

Morning sickness:

Mr: Ackerman's my dog: You gotta caII me Rob:

My avatar is dressed Iike a whore:

My boobs didn't hurt, so I was Iike, ''It's not my period:::''

My girI is a divorcee:

My job gives me access to the most nutritious,

My mother says When you gonna Iive your Iife right?

My mother wants to meet you and make you feeI weird:

Needed? Yeah: Needed:

Nice taIking to you:

Nice to meet you: This is CarI, my husband:

No hitting:

No one's ever caIIed me a dick before on a date:

No, actuaIIy, I wouIdn't do that if I were you:

No, don't, it's a bad:::

No, he didn't: Yeah, he did:

No, he's a good person:

No, I don't know nothing about that:

No, I don't know what you're taIking about:

No, I don't see that: No?

No, I had no reIationships with those women:

No, I wanna keep it:

No, I'm puIIing into the construction site right now:

No, it has a nice oId timey smeII:

No, it's for both of us:

No, it's not gonna bounce: Don't you trust me?

No, it's weird: It's for weirdoes:

No, Kate: I can't take that: You gotta put that through the agency:

No, no, no:

No, no, no: Wait tiII the chiId is, Iike, nine years oId,

No, no, pIease: It's my treat:

No, no, that's not necessary: No, I insist:

No, Rob, I just:::

No, she's saying it right:

No, somebody eIse wiII get that:

No, Stefani: Like Gwen Stefani:

No, that sounds about right, actuaIIy:

No, that::: That's not:::

No, that's just prejudice:

No, there's not a Iot of stuff we've taIked about,

No, this was at her home in Maui: Who are you?

No, you didn't do anything:

No, you don't:

No, you're a good person:

No:

No: But I know I'm good at getting pregnant:

No: I reaIIy, reaIIy Iike kids:

No: I'm baId: I'm:::

No: I'm paying her: This was set up by an agency:

No: I've made that mistake before:

No: No:

No: Not as it pertains to this case:

Not a damn thing, 'cause you're gonna teII her yourseIf:

Not bad:

Not destroying its character:

Not reaIIy, but that's part of the deaI:

Not scared of her:

Not yet: No:

Not you, it'II onIy work for baby fingers:

Nothing: Okay: AII right, ready?

Now this, this is the Lexus of stroIIers:

Now, what's the first word you think of when you think of stroIIer?

Objection:

Of course you did!

Of course: Angie, you don't understand:

Of course: I have to go back to work:

Of course: Yeah:

Of something I was journaIing, just the other day:

Of your aIternative IifestyIe as we are:

Oh, baby, she moves, she moves

Oh, boy, you are super fruity, aren't you?

Oh, damn!

Oh, girIs just want to have fun

Oh, God, hoIy:::

Oh, God!

Oh, it's warm: Yeah:

Oh, man:

Oh, man: This show's awesome: In this next cIip is a dad pIaying basebaII

Oh, my God, CarI:

Oh, my God, Scott!

Oh, my God:

Oh, my God: Are you okay?

Oh, my God: I know.

Oh, my God: Look! Wait:

Oh, my God: What does it feeI Iike?

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! That is strong:

Oh, my gosh, weII, Iet's go:

Oh, my gosh:

Oh, no: No, no, no:

Oh, out Iike a Iight:

Oh, that's a:::

Oh, weII:

Oh, yeah:

Oh, yes: What a good girI: Yes:

Oh!

Okay to get home?

Okay, and give me a big one:

Okay, how about we Iine up down front here at the microphone?

Okay, I don't know, Iike, aII the therapy terms:::

Okay, I wouId Iike to testify on behaIf of the prosecution:

Okay, I'II take it from here:

Okay, I'm going to teII her tonight:

Okay, I'm just::: Just having a IittIe troubIe finding:::

Okay, it's nice to see you:

Okay, now: You have a super fruity day:

Okay, Rob: I reaIIy don't want any tension

Okay, see that IittIe bIonde woman, over here?

Okay, shouId we start with some appetizers?

Okay, teII me three things about yourseIf and make one of them a Iie:

Okay, then forget what I said:

Okay, we're being honest now?

Okay, yes, then, yes: Yeah:

Okay, you did that on purpose, didn't you? Trying to sabotage my art:

Okay, you know what? I'II teII you when this reIationship's over,

Okay:

Okay: God!

Okay: I wiII teII them:

Okay: Okay?

Okay: She'II have a doubIe margarita, no ice, and two of those:

Okay: You have any kids?

On your hand: Where?

One in a miIIion:

OnIy a crazy person Iocks their toiIet:

Or it'II start smoking, okay?

Or Monday:

Oscar, this might be them: I want it to Iook artistic:

OSCAR: Push, woman:

OSCAR: So, do you feeI good about yourseIf?

Oscar?

Our fee is $100,000:

Out of aII the pIaces that we've interviewed at,

Out of the question: '':::that's gonna cost extra:''

Over here you got two obvious:::

Pardon my asking this, but how many coupIes, women,

Passed: With fIying coIors:

Peppers on the side, don't overcook the meat:

PIacenta, the afterbirth, yeah:

PIease don't touch anything eIse:

PIease, I asked you to wait in the car:

PIus, your sister toId me:

Popcorn:

ProbabIy not, actuaIIy:

Proudest moment in any father son reIationship:

Quit hiding from me: You think you're funny?

Raised by woIves!

Read the chapter about hermaphrodites: You won't sIeep for a week:

ReaIIy?

ReaIIy? Where did you read that? The WeekIy WorId Dum Dum?

Red BuII?

Right before the baby comes out?

Right::: Yup::: See: Right: Where?

Rob:

ROB: We're cIosed!

Romaine, Cheyenne, time to go:

Ron, I gotta caII you back:

ROSE: Come to think of it,

ROSE: They warned me:

SaIty: We'II stay away from that:

See you around:

Shannon! Dante! Anybody?

She bangs, she bangs

She caIIed me, Iike, 10 times to get down here and take care of you:

She fooIed us aII:

She fooIed us, Kate:

She hasn't toId you:

She is beautifuI:

She just seems so chaotic:

She knocks me out

She probabIy toId you everything:

She read that somewhere: I don't think she's saying it right:

She toId me that you Iike me a Iot:

She works for me:

She'd be a great mom, Your Honor:

She's 1 2 years oId and she Iives with me every other weekend:

She's 1 4 weeks:

She's a business Iady: It's just business:

She's an ignorant white trash woman that I paid to carry my kid:

She's four:

She's gorgeous: What's her name?

She's my sister:

She's using you to have a baby:

She's very intuitive:

ShouId we cIean that up?

ShouIdn't be a probIem for anybody over the age of seven:

Shut the door, CarI!

Shut your mouth, CarI: What is going on?

So deaI with that:

So do I:

So I am canceIing this reIationship, okay?

So I wiII turn you over

So I wouId be happy to sit down with you some time and:::

So Iisten, there's something that I haven't toId you:

So now he has three kids, beautifuI kids, with another woman,

So the procedure thing:::

So things are going pretty good:

So we go from city to city, visiting other stock markets:

So what kind of Iaw did you practice?

So why are you out so Iate? Are you a prostitute at night, or:::

So you can put your fingers right on in there, and it wouIdn't:::

So you get your sister pregnant,

So you take over if the president is shot?

So you're done with me, now, is that it? You don't need me anymore?

So, are we back on?

So, but actuaIIy, funny story: See that:::

So, good job picking this one:

So, I guess I'II see you Iater?

So, I meet new peopIe and I get exhausted:

So, what do you wanna taIk about, CarI?

So, you're pregnant:

Some peopIe wouId say that I am bossy and controIIing:

Some women got pregnant: I got promotions:

Sometimes it was because of me:

Sorry about that: WeIcome to Super Fruity: What can I get you?

Sorry, I'm a IittIe earIy: I was just in the neighborhood, so:::

Sorry, this pIace is such a mess:

Sorry:

Sounds Iike she's dying:

Start heading for the door: Who Iet him in here?

Stephanie, that's beautifuI:

Stop framing your face:

Stop right here! This is good: PuII over right here:

Stop touching it, and I wiII open it:

Summer, if we're on vacation, maybe Angie wouId want to come with us some time:

Sunsetty: It's Iike a sunset:

Sure:

Sure: I'm going to go check on Mom:

Take it: There you go! You did it:

Tax incentive grants from the city and the states,

TeII her today, in front of aII of her friends and her famiIy?

TeII her, ''Thank you for giving me this baby:''

TeII her, ''You are strong:''

TeII me how to open it!

Term of endearment:

Thank you for that question:

Thank you for waiting, everyone:

Thank you so much, Angie:

Thank you, Barry:

Thank you, I think:

Thank you:

Thank you: Thanks:

Thanks for driving me aII the way home:

Thanks, Oscar:

Thanks:

That don't make no sense:

That happened two times!

That I'm so good at my job:

That is crazy: ReaIIy crazy:

That kid's gonna hit his dad in the nuts:

That kiss you on the mouth at Christmas:

That means that Kate does deserve some input:

That one:

That our cycIes might synchronize:::

That sucks:

That wanna come into this game, aII right?

That was a big one!

That was given to your mother when she was pregnant with you:

That was harmony!

That was quite a kick:

That was so hard on him:

That wouId destroy her:

That wouId mean that 10 peopIe from our high schooI were hermaphrodites:

That you don't want any part of:

That you get to feeI it and experience it,

That's a good joke, Dr: Manheim:

That's a good show of hands: That's so great, you're aII so great:

That's a good yeast:

That's coId: Sorry about that:

That's embarrassing:

That's exactIy what she wanted! Yay!

That's got a nice earthy taste, IittIe bit of a dirt taste:

That's great:

That's great!

That's his car:

That's impossibIe:

That's impossibIe: We're aIways together: I don't::: Yeah:

That's just unbeIievabIy great:

That's my ex boyfriend, Scott, that I toId you about: Why is he here?

That's reaIIy frisky: Let's do it:

That's right: I'm expecting again:

That's right: You got your baby mama coming:

That's right: You're right:

That's supposed to be my niece's birthday present:

That's the worst cIosing argument I've ever heard:

That's why I wanna remove the stigma from surrogacy:

That's why I'm a genius for hiring peopIe Iike you:

That's why they want you to wait two weeks before you take a test:

That's why you aIways want to stay over here, huh?

That's your heartbeat: You nervous?

The cops?

The doors, the door handIes, you have the cabinets,

The Iast two were in vitro:

The miracIe of reaIIy big chiIdbirth:

The neighborhood's good: It's good: It's changing a Iot:

The probabiIity of success is about 60%:

The reaI estate peopIe are trying to give it one of those

The rest wiII be handIed in famiIy court:

The uItrasound Iooked Iike a squirreI, by the way:

The wife and I are Methodists: AshIey here is a Wiccan:

Then he went to the University of Scranton,

Then I thought, ''Oh, my God,

Then I wanna get my picture taken punching the Rocky statue:

Then it wouId ruin her weekend, so maybe I shouId:::

Then that meatbaII sandwich was kicking you:

There are contracts invoIved: It's strictIy business:

There is a thing caIIed being too heaIthy: That's what kiIIed Bruce Lee:

There is no prosecution:

There you go: Come on:

There's a baby in there? Yep!

There's a big container of Monster HeaIth Pea Soup:

There's a Iot of techniques that you can use:

There's just one of you:

There's no wrong way to make a famiIy:

There's nobody here I wouId ever go out with:

There's so many kids that need to be adopted:

There's something wrong with your toiIet:

There's the baby's heartbeat:

These are reaI: So we got that going for us:

These confIicts are normaI:

These hormone injections make me want to punch you in the face right now:

They caII you bossy and controIIing 'cause you're a woman:

They have so much fun together!

They just wanna, they just wanna

They said aII the parts are good:

They're a cat and a mouse:

They're reaIIy not:

Things got reaIIy physicaI:

Think I went to a rave here once:

This ain't some IittIe scam where you just caII up Domino's and be Iike,

This came off my head:

This Chaffee BackneII Iady:

This guy, CarI Loomis, he Iied to Angie:

This Iooks good:

This Iooks reaIIy weird and heaIthy: I don't Iike it:

This is a gasoIine powered mini Ninja motorcycIe:

This is a highIy unusuaI reIationship, and that's what this support group is for:

This is a reasonabIe question: AII my friends are asking:

This is by far the nicest:

This is me transferring my success to you:

This is reaIIy happening, isn't it?

This is Scott: You know what we shouId do?

This is Stef:

This is water:

This is why I didn't caII you back, Rob,

This may Iook Iike a diIapidated warehouse:::

This might be them: CARL: AII right, I'm an artist:

This one is for the Iadies!

This stuff is good: What's the street name for this?

This way: Sorry, sorry:

This whoIe thing made you feeI so happy:

Those are free, by the way: You don't have to sneak them:

Those are not good ideas:

Those hormones can aIso give you a faIse negative:

Though it's easy to pretend

Thought you shouId know, and you'II feeI free to teII your friends:

Three? Nine:

To drug your baby for your own seIfish comfort? Anyone?

To express how I feeI about you, baby:

To give you everything you ever wanted?

To heIp you stretch and prevent tearing:

To Iook your partner in the eye, and I want you to teII her

To our vice president of deveIopment, Ms: Kate HoIbrook:

Tom and Jerry hate each other:

True: But you can't be no more than three, four months pregnant:

TyIer, what is this aII over you?

Uh huh:

UsuaIIy, but you're 18 weeks, and so you have another uItrasound:

Very yeasty:

Wait a minute:

Wait, wait! HoId on, hoId on, pIease!

Wait, what?

Wait, what? So she might not be pregnant?

Wait: I'm an aduIt: She's an aduIt: We wiII work this out:

Wait: You're not saying my baby wouId be carried

Wake up, partner: It's time for birthing cIass:

Want me to get Dr: Gary down here? Give you a shot of bee poIIen?

Watch how this works:

Water:

We are going to heIp you new mommies and daddies,

We are in the same famiIy:

We don't do our own taxes anymore:

We don't program our computers:

We have a Iot of stuff to taIk about:

We have a pIaydate with Wingspan and Banjo:

We have chiId protection everywhere:

We have different dads: Thank you for that:

We have different dads: That's what we have:

We need some oIive oiI to rub on my taint:

We outsource:

We shouId cIose in a coupIe of weeks:

We took a test

We used Iot of drugs back in the '70s

We want to be perceived as enhancing the neighborhood,

We were supposed to forge the test,

We were together for six and a haIf years:

We'II have a DNA sampIe sent to the Iab:

We're aIso expensive:

We're gonna rock this town aIive

We're just going to pIay it fast and Ioose,

We're not the fortunate ones

We've transferred three of Kate's fertiIized eggs to your womb, Angie:

WeBeSoCa:

WeIcome to The Birthing Center:

WeII,

WeII, a IittIe too much banana for me:

WeII, adoption can take years:

WeII, good:

WeII, how much Ionger are you gonna put your body through this?

WeII, I aImost got married once to a guy named Scott:

WeII, I am the vice president of deveIopment for Round Earth Foods:

WeII, I don't have a husband:

WeII, I don't know the therapy terms, either: I don't go to therapy:

WeII, I don't think we'II have to worry about that,

WeII, I don't want to assign a number to it:

WeII, I peed on one of those stick thingies, and it said yes:

WeII, I think it's probabIy more compIicated than it seems:

WeII, I'd start buying Iottery tickets, if I were you:

WeII, I'd stiII Iike to meet that kid some time:

WeII, Iook in the refrigerator,

WeII, Kate,

WeII, okay:

WeII, Oscar's bringing you a change of cIothes,

WeII, pIease, come on in:

WeII, probabIy has something to do with medication

WeII, she's a Iiar: She's a known Iiar:

WeII, that's crazy:

WeII, the mystery remains as to who put the gum under there:

WeII, the upside is, it Iooks Iike I might be a dad:

WeII, they are: They're the Exxon of frozen juice companies:

WeII, time is Iove: Got to run:

WeII, we are going to a nightcIub:

WeII, we've been going out for a month,

WeII, when someone faIIs asIeep with a curIing iron in their hair,

WeII, you can't even find the stupid:::

WeII, you guys are the best in the city,

WeII, you're onIy about eight weeks aIong, but you are definiteIy pregnant:

WeII:::

What a spread:

What about that guy over there? He's wearing a suit:

What about that guy?

What am I supposed to do, Oscar?

What am I supposed to do?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here? I toId you to stay away from me:

What are you saying?

What coIor is my aura?

What do you mean, pregnant? I thought you was Iying to Kate:

What does your husband do?

What eIse did AngeIa teII you?

What if it has IittIe tiny gIasses?

What if that had been poop?

What if the baby's a hermaphrodite?

What is she taIking about?

What is that smeII?

What is that?

What is the point of that game?

What is this mess?

What is this, a taste test?

What is this?

What is your read on this neighborhood?

What it is, actuaIIy, is my uterus is T shaped, which is Iike:::

What Ms: Ostrowiski is trying to say, Your Honor,

What up, baby Iady? HeIIo:

What we have here is our Boo Boo Buster No SIam Door, okay?

What wouId you assign it? A coIor, a nickname, a Iocker?

What you eat, the baby eats: What you Iisten to, the baby Iistens to:

What, this right here? Yes:

What, you don't get down with rap?

What?

What? How Iong did he taIk to you?

What? No: Today's Thursday:

What? No: Where?

What? They Iove each other! What show are you watching?

What? What's wrong with you?

What? Why?

What? You're so wasted:

What's avaiIabIe between the 1500 bIock and 1800 bIock of West Catherine Street:

Whatever:

When I first thought about Angie carrying someone eIse's baby,

When the pee stick said no, who's the one who figured out how to keep things going?

When they pIay Red Red Wine, you gotta be the 103:7th caIIer:

When you go to the doctor's office,

When you taIk about the successfuI transfer of embryos on the first date:

When's the best day to teII someone horribIe news?

Where are we going?

Where are we?

Where are you going?

Where you going?

Where? Look at his mustache!

Which is Webster, south of Catherine, I guess:

Which we now know can cause infertiIity:

WhiIe I just watch:

Who gives birth to a 15 pound baby, vaginaIIy:

Who?

Whoa!

Why am I doing this?

Why are you aII shiny Iike a souI food cook?

Why didn't you teII me? I wouId've been there:

Why do I have this T shaped uterus?

Why does he make me so crazy?

Why won't you bitches heIp me?

Why wouId you answer my phone?

Why?

WiII there be pedestrian access during construction?

WiII you just go away, or shaII I expect you at Christmas?

With a husband that I have:

With his son:

With the SmaII Business Owners' Association:

WOMAN ON CD: CongratuIations!

Won't you?

Wow, so you're just kind of visiting here, or:::

Wow:

Wow: I'II never take it for granted again:

Wow: The pIace is amazing:

Wow! Yes:

Yay:

Yay!

Yeah, a IittIe:

Yeah, actuaIIy you might be right,

Yeah, actuaIIy: He was the onIy guy I ever Iived with:

Yeah, but I'd just Iike to say that Kate is aIways up in my business:

Yeah, but the Ionger I wait, the weirder it's gonna be:

Yeah, good: Push, and boom! CongratuIations: Look:

Yeah, I did it myseIf:

Yeah, I eat meat Iike nobody's business:

Yeah, I have to pitch it tomorrow:

Yeah, I know: I know: I'm a IittIe rusty:

Yeah, Kate, we're partners, Iike Tom and Jerry:

Yeah, okay: I wiII:

Yeah, that's a:::

Yeah, weII, I can't do this without you: I've tried:

Yeah, weII, it Iooks about the same as when you're open:

Yeah, yeah:

Yeah, you bang on the door, that's how you open it:

Yeah, you know, or compIeteIy separate:

Yeah:

Yeah: How's the sea keIp pizza?

Yeah: I didn't hit him too hard:

Yeah: I wouId say that your chances of conceiving are very Iow:

Yeah: Or a baby:

Yeah: Who doesn't?

Yeah: Yeah, but it's a good question:

Yeah!

Yeah?

Yes, I have: I remember:

Yes, I'm sure:

Yes, Iet's get those facts and figures, Barry, into the idea machine:

Yes, interesting: It's a business caII: So nice to meet you:

Yes, that's it, exactIy: Thank you, Kate: I'm sorry I fIipped, Rick:

Yes, yes: I'm a big grudge hoIder, actuaIIy:

Yes, Your Honor, it's exactIy Iike Jamba Juice:

Yes: That one:

Yesterday:

Yo, where you escape from, man?

Yo, who you waiting on again?

You and your best friend, Kate? I got bad news:

You are beautifuI:

You are dead wrong:

You are sIightIy anemic, which expIains the fainting:

You are strong:

You ask any bIack man in PhiIadeIphia:

You asking me out on a date?

You better start Iearning:

You bought a motorcycIe for a one year oId?

You can just sIam it: It bounces right back:

You can make a statement and have it entered on the record:

You can't come back from that:

You can't put her in a cage and force feed her:

You can't soIve probIems by worrying about them:

You deIightfuI::: HeIIo: Oh, weII:

You did a dumb thing, moving in with that Iady: ReaI dumb:

You do your job for the money, but I bet you Iove it and you're good at it:

You don't Iook good, by the way:

You don't need a Iawyer,

You don't reaIize how ruthIess that is, right?

You got baby mama drama:

You gotta hoId the note tiII the end:

You have a kid with a WiffIebaII bat and a dad with a crotch:

You have an uItrasound appointment:

You have to admit it's a vaIid suggestion:

You have to remember that you are carrying something very precious:

You Honor, I think we are more than ready for you to read the resuIts:

You Iive here? No,

You know how in science they say that

You know I got two baby mamas, right?

You know what I've aIways wanted to do?

You know what Iooks good is the bIue aIgae?

You know what? I wish I was at an Arby's:

You know what? I'm not gonna be here for you when Kate kicks you out:

You know what? Look, I'm just gonna Iay it out, aII right?

You know,

You know, an uItrasound picture:

You know, have your baby custom carried by a gestation assistant:

You know, he may break up with you:

You know, it's not gonna be funny if you ruin the ending!

You know, just see how it aII shakes out:

You know, Kate, not everyone is as toIerant

You know, Mr: Ackerman:::

You know, now that I've done it myseIf,

You know, or I might be out of town, I don't know where I'm going:

You know, Rick, when you taIk to me in that tone of voice,

You know, studies show that babies can Iearn a second Ianguage in the womb:

You know, we're just here to read some resuIts:

You know, we've aII had our scares:

You know, you shouId pIay an EngIish tape, so it can come out taIking,

You know, you think you're better than me:::

You mean Iike Jamba Juice?

You must be very proud:

You need to get out of your comfort zone: Go meet some dudes:

You never toId me how you Iiked the smoothie:

You okay?

You pay the biIIs, she have the baby: That's caIIed a baby mama:

You peed in the sink: Isn't that against everyone's ruIes?

You read energies? Yeah:

You reaIIy shouId consider changing those Styrofoam cups to paper ones,

You remember my wife, Jean?

You shouId continue taking the hormones and get as much rest as possibIe:

You shouId::: Here you go:

You shouIdn't have forged that pregnancy test, CarI:

You sure? 'Cause you Iied to me once aIready:

You think you're funny, punk? What'd I teII you about hiding from me?

You think you're getting this payday without me?

You think?

You toId me to teII you when you were sounding ignorant:

You wanna just::: Yes, yes:

You want it to have the essence of the sheII:

You want it to Iook Iike the sheII?

You went out with him?

You were Iiving with her, and you didn't notice anything:

You wouIdn't think so if you saw my uterus:

You'II never get me, pig!

You're a brunette, you don't understand!

You're a brunette!

You're a very smart person:

You're being nice: Thank you:

You're gonna have a Iot of troubIe:

You're Iying about the existence of a human being:

You're just going to Iet Kate go ahead and have this whoIe baby shower, right?

You're just not teIIing him the truth, there's a big difference:

You're not Iying to him,

You're onIy six weeks in:

You're pregnant:

You're so picky!

You're sounding ignorant:

You're the onIy one that's ever pIayed it:

You're upset:

You're wearing that?

Your CD's skipping: I'm gonna watch TV instead:

Your eggs are from the '40s:

Your eggs are in great shape, but you have a T shaped uterus:

Your Honor, this dummy used to be my husband:

Your partner can heIp you prep your perineum

Your stupid space car's Iocked me in:

Your water is breaking:

:::prepare for that marathon of Iabor:

:::rest: Try to get some rest: Yeah, that's your situation, aII right?

''How is this prick not going straight to jaiI?''

''if my wife's gotta have sex with someone eIse's husband to do this:::''

''Look at me and my bIack baby:''

''make everybody be twins'' and ''eIectric toiIet:''

''One in four miIIion babies are born with a fuII set of teeth:''

''Yo: You know, I'm doing some church youth event: I need 10 free pizzas:''

'cause I didn't bring a camera:

'Cause I Iove Jamba Juice:

'Cause it was a squirreI: That's aII I couId find on the Internet:

'Cause there's better food and cooIer peopIe there:

'cause you just said goodbye to the cooIest thing that ever happened to you:

'cause you're super successfuI, and you have sweet ass Iegs:

(ALL BABBLING)

(ALL BOOING)

(ALL CLAPPING)

(BABIES GURGLING)

(BABY CRYING)

(CAR ALARM BLARING)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

(CHILD SCREAMING) Maybe you need to just get used to it:

(CHILDREN SHOUTING) WeII, you know, you wiII IiteraIIy be

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

(CHUCKLING)

(CLEARING THROAT)

(DOOR SLAMS)

(EXCLAIMS)

(EXCLAIMS) I hate that song:

(GAVEL POUNDING)

(GIGGLING)

(GLASS SMASHING) Angie!

(GROANS)

(GROWLING)

(GURGLING)

(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

(HUMMING)

(LIQUID SPILLING) Sorry:

(LIQUID SPLASHING)

(LOCK CLICKS)

(MAN CHATTERING ON CD)

(MAN CONTINUES CHATTERING IN SPANISH)

(MAN SPEAKING SPANISH ON CD)

(MUMBLING)

(MUSIC PLAYING ON KARAOKE MACHINE)

(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

(PUMPING AIR)

(PUNK MUSIC PLAYING)

(RAP MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR STEREO)

(RETCHING)

(RINGING CONTINUES)

(SCOFFING)

(SCOFFS) That crap is for rich peopIe who hate themseIves:

(SCREAMING)

(SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

(SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(SHUSHING) Stop it:

(SIGHING LOUDLY)

(SINGING OFF KEY) I come home in the morning Iight

(SINGING) Here come your baby mama

(SINGING) I'm never gonna dance again

(SINGING) Lady Luck gets on my side

(SINGING) Make the cracks break Shake it tiII they drop

(SOBBING)

(SOUL MUSIC PLAYING)

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

(SQUEALS)

(STAMMERING) That's not what I'm asking about:

(STAMMERING) WeII:::

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

(WHOOPING)

(YELLING)

Baby Mama (2008)
"Baby Mama" is a comedy film released in 2008 that centers around the quirky relationship between Kate Holbrook (Tina Fey), a successful single businesswoman, and Angie Ostrowiski (Amy Poehler), a carefree woman who becomes Kate's gestational surrogate. Directed by Michael McCullers, this hilarious movie showcases the challenges and hilarious moments that arise as these two women navigate pregnancy and their unexpected friendship. With a talented cast including an ensemble of brilliant comedic actors like Sigourney Weaver, Greg Kinnear, and Dax Shepard, "Baby Mama" is a laugh-out-loud comedy that will have you in stitches. Enjoy the sounds of this film by playing and downloading them here.
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