Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) Edit

A couple years ago.

A lark?

A sort of a swoop and a cross.

A wino? A "wino"? Jesus.

Adults are this mess of sadness

After we did her, I kind of asked her out.

After you look down at my crotch.

Agent Orange. I came up with that one.

Alcohol.

All right, great. Could you spell that, please?

All right, so let's make an appointment.

All right.

All right. I'll be right over, Tangerine.

All right. I've got it.

All right. We got that one.

All the memories we've targeted will have withered and disappeared.

Although it hardly fits.

Am I ugly?

An amazing, burning meteorite will carry you to another world

And after the mapping is done,

And I can't bring him back up.

And I don't need anybody to be it at me.

And I had it on auto pilot because I had to pee.

And I have these toys, these dolls.

And I keep yelling at her,

And I met Clementine.

And I saw you two talking.

And I thought, "Thank God,

And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped,

And I'm here to erase Clementine Kruczynski.

And in my reading, I've come across some I thought you might like, too.

And in your little, wormy brain,

And making sure I'm not wasting one second of the little time I have.

And my friends, Rob and Carrie,

And phobias.

And she looks at me like she doesn't even know who I am.

And she wanted to move on.

And so clean.

And sound like a dope, and then I go ahead and say it.

And then you just took it, without waiting for an answer.

And there's sort of a stale smell.

And they called themselves that for a reason.

And they called themselves that for a reason.

And we hide there till morning?

And we'll take it from there.

And when you eradicate that core,

And work backwards from there, more or less.

And you guys are dating. Really?

Anything.

Are you dead yet? You're dead!

Are you from the '50s or something? A "wino"?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you screwing with me? No!

Are you sure you set that thing up properly?

As if nothing had happened, a new life awaiting you.

As in a dream upon waking.

At least I'm not barking up the wrong tree.

At least we know where he is. He's back on track, right?

Baby boy.

Back here. Come on.

Be cool.

Because I don't. I know.

Beyond Good and Evil. I found it in my Bartlett's.

Book slave there for five years now.

BOTH: We'll dispose of these mementos when we're done here.

BOY: He has a girlfriend.

BOYS: Hit it, Joel!

But at the time I thought, "How cool, an orange sweatshirt."

But I couldn't... See?

But I should go now.

But I wanted you to think I was smart.

But it's on a par with a night of heavy drinking.

But it's on a par with a night of heavy drinking.

But right now I'm glad you are.

But there are people waiting.

But what if it breaks?

But what you quickly learn is that it's really an elaborate ruse.

But you were exciting.

But you will. Right now I can't.

But, you know, I have a wife and kids.

By people where I also work.

By the time you wake up in the morning,

Bye, Joel.

Bye.

Can I borrow a piece of your chicken?

Can I come over to your house,

Can I help you find something, sir?

Can I help you with something?

Can I help you?

Can I leave for a while? My girlfriend's really upset.

Can we just please get through this?

Can we talk about it? CLEMENTINE: No, get the fuck away!

Can you check the voltage regulator? What have we got there?

Can you do that?

Can you handle things tonight alone? I'm really sorry.

Can you hear me? I don't want this anymore! I want to call it off!

Can you see me doing ducks?

Can you stir the soup and keep an eye on Joel?

Can you wake him up?

Can't believe I'm crying already.

Can't you understand English?

Carrie, I am making a birdhouse.

CARRIE: I'll take the bottom and you...

CARRIE: I'll take the bottom and you...

CARRIE: Joel, why don't you just see this as a sign?

CARRIE: You were operating the plane with the remote control, and it crashed.

CDs you may have bought together, journal entries.

Check the connections, please.

Clem, focus.

Clem, I didn't mean it, all right?

Clem, let me drive you home.

Clem, they're erasing you.

CLEMENTINE ON TAPE: My name is Clementine Kruczynski.

Clementine the tangerine.

CLEMENTINE: Absolutely.

CLEMENTINE: I don't want to hold your hand. Come on.

CLEMENTINE: I have another idea for this problem.

CLEMENTINE: I wanna read some of those journals you're constantly scribbling in.

CLEMENTINE: It's okay. You were a little kid. Come on.

CLEMENTINE: It's working. I'm a genius.

CLEMENTINE: Joel, stop. Look.

CLEMENTINE: Joel, where are my boots?

CLEMENTINE: Joely? JOEL: Yeah, Tangerine?

CLEMENTINE: Oh, baby Joel.

CLEMENTINE: Over here!

CLEMENTINE: Patrick, it's you.

CLEMENTINE: Smell my pits!

CLEMENTINE: So go.

CLEMENTINE: What did we see that day?

CLEMENTINE: What took you so long?

CLEMENTINE: You married? JOEL: No.

Clothing, gifts, books she may have bought you,

Cock a doodle doo.

Come back and make up a goodbye.

Come here, please.

Come on, Clem.

Come on, man. The water's fine.

Come on! Grow up.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Comfortable?

Confused?

Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.

Cool.

Crap! What did we do? What do I do?

Definitely. Howard is pure Bartlett's.

Did I tell you...

Did you find us okay?

Did you hear me?

Didn't figure you'd show your face around me again.

Do we always have to run?

Do whatever you want.

Do you ever shop at Barnes and Noble?

Do you have something to drink?

Do you know these people?

Do you like my pink hat? Here, look, feel better.

Do you love me?

Do you swear you didn't know? I swear.

Do you think I'm ugly?

Do you want to have a drink?

Doc? Please!

Does anybody want a joint?

Does that help?

Don't assign me yours.

Don't be a monster. Tell the girl.

Don't call me Antoine. My name is Wally.

Don't call me pathetic!

Don't cry, baby Joel. It's okay.

Don't do that. Rob, what are you doing?

Don't ever leave me.

Don't tell me this. I don't want to hear this shit.

Don't want to end up at Mickey D's, right?

Don't want to end up at Mickey D's.

Don't worry about it. I've got it under control.

Don't you have anything real to drink?

DR. MIERZWIAK: Just tell me what you remember,

DR. MIERZWIAK: Okay, let's get started.

DR. MIERZWIAK: Okay, we're back in.

DR. MIERZWIAK: Our files are confidential, so I can't show you evidence.

DR. MIERZWIAK: Technically, the procedure is brain damage.

DR. MIERZWIAK: There it is.

DR. MIERZWIAK: We provide that possibility.

DR. MIERZWIAK: Where was Patrick?

Drink up, young man.

Driving drunk. It's pathetic.

Dude, I got to go.

Enjoy it.

Even after that.

Every damn embarrassing thing.

Excuse me?

Face it, Joely.

February is very busy for us because of Valentine's Day.

Fine.

For being honest. It's horrible.

Found the salad bowl. I'm serving salad and string beans.

FRANK: Hey, Joel. What's up?

Get off me. It's too... Right.

Get out of my face, faggot!

Get out. Me, too.

Get that look off your face. What's wrong?

Get your stuff, Mary.

Go on. Please go.

Go.

Go.

God, I've never gone out with a guy who bought me jewelry I liked.

God, she's punishing me. I know.

Good morning, Mrs. Mierzwiak.

Good morning. Lacuna.

Good night.

Good.

Goodbye, Mrs. Woo.

Got it.

Great. Have a nice day. See you then.

Had the whole human race pegged.

Happy early Valentine's Day. Thank you.

Happy with a secret.

Has this happened before with him? No.

He had to go home sick.

He stole her underwear.

He stole your underwear.

He works for us.

He'll be handling your case tonight.

He's disappeared again.

He's fine.

He's killing me.

He's not listening! Come on.

He's off the map.

He's pretty much on auto pilot now, anyway.

He's seducing my girlfriend with my words and my things.

He's stealing my identity. He stole my stuff.

Healthy activity up there again. Healthy read outs.

Hello, I'm right here.

Hello, Mary, what are you doing here?

Hello?

Here we go. That was a great idea.

Here, Doctor. Thank you.

Here, Howard, I got you a chair. Thank you.

Hey, Clementine. Nice to see you.

Hey, Joel. Frank.

Hi, Cindy. It's Joel.

Hi, Frank.

Hi, hello.

Hi, Joel.

Hi, Joel. So, no jokes about my name.

Hi, Patrick. Hi, Mary, how's it going?

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Because she would pronounce "library," "li berry."

Hide me somewhere deeper, somewhere really buried.

His eyes are open.

Hold my papers.

Hollis!

Honey, I have a surprise.

Honey, just watch the road.

Honey, look.

Honey, the cooler's pretty...

Hot.

How about on the 5th?

How are we today?

How are you today, Mr. Barish?

How are you?

How can I help you from there?

How did I look?

How did who know?

How does he know to call you that?

How far are you going?

How's the chicken?

Howard, it's Stan. I'm working on this guy down here.

Howard, you should get some sleep. I think I'll be fine now.

Howie, I can't do this.

Huckleberry Hound? That sort of thing?

Huckleberry Hound? What are you, nuts?

Huckleberry Hound.

I am so stoned.

I apply my personality in a paste.

I assure you, no. MARY: No.

I basically forced him into it.

I can never the fuck understand what you're saying.

I can take the plane.

I can't believe you did this to me! God damn it!

I can't hear you.

I can't just cancel it. I'm asleep.

I can't remember anything without you.

I can't see anything that I don't like about you.

I can't see shit.

I can't stand the idea of us being a couple people think that about.

I can't stand to even look at him.

I can't tell from one moment to the next what I'm going to like,

I could die right now, Clem.

I could die right now.

I could give you a ride if you need.

I couldn't move.

I couldn't talk to her about books.

I couldn't wait to come to work.

I did. I thought maybe you were a nut.

I do sort of live with someone, though.

I do.

I don't believe this.

I don't constantly talk. Jesus.

I don't do that.

I don't do that.

I don't even know where we're going.

I don't even know why I am. Maybe I should end it right here!

I don't ever know what to say.

I don't have a pen.

I don't know any jokes about your name.

I don't know any.

I don't know if I like this.

I don't know what that means.

I don't know what to say.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. Come on.

I don't know. I'm just confused about everything.

I don't know. Mellow out. You're freaking me out.

I don't know. Open it up.

I don't know. You erased me.

I don't like it, either. I'm trying to find horrible secret places to...

I don't like myself when I'm with him. I don't like myself anymore.

I don't mean to be so familiar...

I don't need nice. I don't need myself to be it

I don't really think I can be here.

I don't see anyone.

I don't think we're ready.

I don't understand what I'm looking at.

I don't understand why it's off the map like that.

I don't want to discuss this right now, okay?

I don't want to run anymore.

I don't want to talk about it here.

I doubt that very much.

I feel like I could clean up all day.

I feel like I'm always pissy now.

I feel like you're mad at me and I don't know what I did.

I find reading them inspirational,

I go to work, I come home.

I got into a little situation with the old lady.

I got you this thing.

I guess I'll go out for some air,

I guess so.

I had a really nice time last night.

I had the best fucking night of my entire fucking life last night.

I had these fantasies of us being married and having kids...

I have a girlfriend now.

I have an appointment with Doctor...

I have lots of drinks, and I could...

I have some stuff that I probably should...

I have to finish the work in there. It's almost morning.

I have to get up so early and...

I have to go to sleep now, Frank.

I have to see the frozen Charles now.

I haven't heard that one. It's lovely.

I hired them, okay? I'm sorry. I'm so stupid.

I just thought it would be appropriate, maybe.

I just walked in.

I just want to talk to him.

I kind of fell in love with her that night.

I kind of, sort of wrecked your car.

I knew it, Howard.

I know it's an emergency. We'll do everything we can.

I know.

I know.

I like it.

I like it. You do?

I like tangerines.

I like that.

I like watching you work, Howard.

I love being bathed in the sink.

I love children.

I love you so much. I'll do anything to make you happy.

I matched my sweatshirt exactly.

I mean, how many hair colors could there be? 15 maybe?

I mean, it's just blank.

I mean, yes.

I must be about four. Oh, my gosh.

I need it to stop before I wake up and don't know you anymore.

I never saw you two together again like that,

I only get Valentine's Day cards from my mom. How pathetic is that?

I prefer to be Ruth, but I can be flexible.

I ran the utility programs, and I had nothing there,

I really admire the work you do.

I really like you, Mary Svevo. You know that?

I really like you. I hate that I said mean things about you.

I really like your hair.

I remember being drawn to you, even then.

I remember that speech really well.

I said I don't want to talk about this!

I saw it clearly the last night we were together. It wasn't sexy.

I saw you talking to a pretty girl.

I should have left you at the flea market.

I should just go to her house. ROB: No.

I shouldn't have said that.

I so want what's in your suit. Good.

I still thought you were going to save my life.

I stole a pair of her panties, as well.

I take it you're not coming back.

I think about that. Yeah?

I think I got the hang of this. I still don't understand it,

I think I might try this then.

I think I should go back. Come on!

I think it's important for my job to understand the inner workings

I think it's just... Repulsive.

I think she's so desperate and insecure

I think we should go.

I think you should go.

I think your name is magical.

I thought I could tell you something you didn't know.

I thought I'd go over to work, give her an early Valentine.

I thought you knew that about me.

I thought you were humiliated.

I thought, "Wow, how odd!

I thought, "Wow, how odd!

I told him pre Valentine's Day is our busy time...

I walked out the door.

I want her to pick me up. Weird how strong that desire is.

I want to be a great, big, huge elephant.

I want to call it off.

I want to call it off. I'll give you a sign.

I want to go home.

I want to have a baby.

I want you to react to these objects, Mr. Barish, if you will.

I was coming back from a job, and you were at his car,

I was living with this woman, Naomi,

I was so tongue tied around you at first,

I wasn't sure because I was away from the monitor for a minute,

I wish I could take it with me.

I wish I knew you when I was a kid.

I wish I'd done a lot of things.

I wish I'd stayed. I do.

I wish you'd stayed.

I would die for a vodka.

I would have thought I would remember you.

I would like you to call me.

I would magically change, too.

I wouldn't come back if I was you.

I wouldn't think that about you.

I'd like to

I'd love to hear some.

I'll go through the entire memory,

I'll pack a picnic, a night picnic.

I'm a little out of sorts today.

I'm a mess, Patrick.

I'm a stupid girl with a crush.

I'm a vindictive little bitch, truth be told.

I'm always anxious, thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest.

I'm an open book.

I'm Clementine.

I'm creative, I'm smart, and I'd make a fucking great mother!

I'm erasing you, and I'm happy!

I'm exactly where I want to be.

I'm excited, too.

I'm fucking crawling out of my skin!

I'm going to go. I'm a little confused.

I'm going to have to give him this.

I'm going to stop by this morning, just to make sure you're okay.

I'm gonna marry you. I know it.

I'm in my head already, aren't I?

I'm inside your head, too. I'm you.

I'm Joel Barish.

I'm Joel Barish. Excuse me?

I'm Joel.

I'm Joel.

I'm just a fucked up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind.

I'm just happy.

I'm just kidding! Come on.

I'm just so happy.

I'm lost, I'm scared, I feel like I'm disappearing.

I'm not a stalker. You're the one that talked to me, remember?

I'm not perfect.

I'm not really sure what you're asking me.

I'm not really.

I'm not wiping as clean as I like here.

I'm really pissed that you said that to me.

I'm Ruth less at the moment. JOEL: We really should go.

I'm scared. I want my mommy.

I'm so excited.

I'm so miserable right now.

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about all this.

I'm sorry I yelled at you.

I'm sorry, Doctor, he just barged right in here.

I'm sorry? I just said hi.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I was just trying to be nice.

I'm sorry. I'd make a fucking good mother.

I'm sorry. What shall we do?

I'm sorry. You know me, I'm impulsive.

I'm sorry. You wanted the procedure.

I'm still stoned.

I'm supposed to come, too!

I'm the nicest guy she ever went out with.

I'm willing to be the one to resolve it.

I'm working.

I'm writing... I'm sorry. Okay.

I've been thinking how I was before and how I am now, and he changed me.

I've got this under control. What are you talking about?

I've got to catch my ride.

I've got to read that one.

I've loved you for a very long time.

I've never felt that before.

I've never felt that before.

I've never seen you happier, baby Joel.

I've seen you, man.

Ice cream.

If I'm going to be drinking, then I'll smoke it.

If nobody minds.

If we could just give it another go round.

If we want to get the procedure underway tonight,

If we want to get this procedure underway tonight,

If you want to be with me, you're with me.

If you'd take care of Mrs. Woo. MARY: Yes, of course.

Invited us to this party at the beach.

Is actually creating a map of your brain.

Is anybody there?

Is he cute?

Is he okay under there? Honey, are you all right?

Is I really like that you're nice right now.

Is that a problem? STAN: No, I think it's funny.

Is that enough reason to erase someone?

Is that him? I think so.

Is there any risk of brain damage?

Is to fuck them.

Is to go home and collect everything you own

Isn't it?

Isn't that how you get people to like you?

It changes a lot, the color.

It did work, for a second.

It didn't start out like this. I came here to work.

It does. A medical test was done. It's proven on the Science Network.

It gets frozen this time of year.

It hurts me that you said that, because I don't do that.

It is pathetic.

It looks like you have everything under control here.

It means merciful, right? Clemency?

It means merciful, right? Clemency?

It stopped erasing.

It stopped. What?

It was above my head.

It was just sad.

It was nice meeting you and all.

It was so intimate, like we were already lovers.

It worked!

It worked. My God, look at this.

It would be different,

It'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant.

It's 3:00.

It's 8:30.

It's a book of quotations.

It's a quote book, Patrick.

It's amazing, isn't it? Like social justice.

It's amazing, isn't it? Like social justice.

It's an apartment, Patrick.

It's beautiful.

It's been suggested.

It's by Pope Alexander and it goes...

It's called Blue Ruin. Right.

It's cold.

It's fine.

It's fine. I'm happy to hear...

It's freezing out.

It's fucking irresponsible.

It's going to be fun. It's the best place.

It's just a fucking dent. You're like an old lady or something.

It's just that I told myself not to say "Pope Alexander"

It's more important to prove me wrong than to actually...

It's no big deal. You're such a sweetheart.

It's not about us. It's about Joel, who's an adult, okay?

It's not really that bad.

It's okay, we're playing. It's not real.

It's okay.

It's only a day away. Better make a reservation somewhere.

It's only a day away. Better make some reservations or something.

It's really solid this time of year.

It's really... Yeah.

It's repulsive.

It's so thick.

It's some place that does a thing.

It's you who can't commit to anything.

It's you, Joel.

Jesus Christ. He stole her underwear.

Jesus Christ. You'd think they'd light the number

Jesus!

Jesus!

Jesus.

Jesus.

Jesus. The only Valentine's Day cards I get are from my mother.

JOEL ON ANSWERING MACHINE: Hi, it's Joel.

JOEL ON TAPE: I mean, she's smart, I think, but not educated.

Joel, look at me. You'll remember me in the morning,

Joel, look where we are.

Joel, please. Don't make me run anymore.

Joel, stop it! I think it's working. We're hidden, Joel. Look!

Joel, you should come up to the Charles with me sometime.

JOEL: "It's goddamn freezing on this beach.

JOEL: "Random thoughts for Valentine's Day, 2004.

JOEL: Don't leave me, Clem. Oh, my God.

JOEL: Don't tickle me. No.

JOEL: Humiliation.

JOEL: I can't, I've got to go home. I'll do it later!

JOEL: I didn't think her sex was motivated.

JOEL: I just needed to see you.

JOEL: I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation.

JOEL: I really thought I knew her so well.

JOEL: I think if there's a truly seductive quality about Clementine,

JOEL: I wouldn't think that about you.

JOEL: I'm so ashamed.

JOEL: I'm sorry, okay?

JOEL: Let's do it one more time.

JOEL: Mierzwiak, please let me keep this memory.

JOEL: She was nice.

JOEL: She's going to be drunk and stupid now.

JOEL: So I walked over to Antic Attic to get her something.

JOEL: Stop it!

JOEL: Tell me everything you remember. That's what he said.

JOEL: The only way Clem thinks she can get people to like her

JOEL: The whole thing with the hair, it's all bullshit.

JOEL: There I am.

JOEL: This is the day we met.

JOEL: We have to get back to the office. CLEMENTINE: Halloween.

JOEL: What a loss to spend that much time with someone,

JOEL: You're pretty.

JOEL'S MOTHER: Is every little peanut under there okay?

Joely, get up. Come on, it's not worth it.

Juicy and seedless.

Just came to surprise you.

Just let me come over. I'll cheer you up.

Just please try to focus on the memories.

Just take it easy.

Just tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it.

Just tell them to cancel it then.

Just this one.

Just thought you'd want to know.

Leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you.

Leave you at the flea market with the stupid costume jewelry!

Let go of me, Joel.

Let him go, Stan. I'll help.

Let me check if I have that.

Let me check if I have that.

Let me do the honors.

Let me get my toothbrush.

Let me get that. No, no, no.

Let me give you a lift home.

Let me know if you need something, sir.

Let me show you this one thing.

Let me turn this off, okay?

Let's go out dancing.

Let's move into this neighborhood!

Let's not roach the guy.

Let's pretend we had one.

Let's see if we can get to the bottom of this, shall we?

Let's talk about it later.

Like famous quotes.

Like you don't matter.

Listen, do I know you?

Listen, I don't feel very well today.

Look at this dress, man.

Look out!

Look what I found.

Look, I'm sorry if I came off sort of nutso.

Look, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high maintenance,

Look, man, seriously, here's the deal.

Look, our files are confidential, Mr. Barish,

Look, who's that?

Look.

Love potion, please.

Lucky me. Lay one on me.

Made me look skinny.

Make a clean break. Right?

Male or female?

MAN ON TV: Now, why are you showing me poisons?

MAN: Wake up, buddy!

Mary hates me.

Mary, he's coming right now.

Mary, we can't do this.

Mary, you're a wonderful girl.

MARY: "The world forgetting by the world forgot

MARY: "To all patients of Dr. Howard Mierzwiak.

MARY: Do you like quotes, Howard?

MARY: Don't! That tickles me!

MARY: Don't. Wait.

MARY: Don't. Wait.

MARY: Good morning. Lacuna.

MARY: I liked you immediately.

MARY: I'm so sorry, Howard.

MARY: I'm staying.

MARY: What? Who is it? DR. MIERZWIAK: Oh, my God.

MARY: Where? I don't know where.

Mary's coming over tonight.

May I help you?

Maybe I should come over. No. I don't know.

Maybe if you stopped stealing their panties.

Maybe tomorrow would be better, around 12: 15.

Maybe we can.

Maybe you can find a nice antique rocking chair to die in!

Maybe you did kill somebody. Should we turn on the news and see?

McRomance!

Meet me in Montauk.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily Life is but a dream

Mierzwiak!

Mierzwiak. Here, can you please fill this out?

Montauk?

More? No, thank you.

Move. Come on, let's go. Careful.

Mr. Barish, if you'd like to come inside.

Mr. Barish?

Mr. Barish. He's really busy this afternoon.

My crotch is still here, just as you remembered it.

My embarrassing admission

My favorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine.

My girlfriend situation.

My God, there's people coming out of your butt.

My life just isn't that interesting.

My mom.

My name is Joel Barish,

My name's Clementine, by the way.

My situation is a little weird.

My skin's coming off! I'm getting old!

Naomi couldn't go, but I went

Never mind. Sorry, that was stupid. I'm embarrassed now.

Never really had much luck with the ladies.

Next item.

Next item.

Nice?

Night picnics are different.

No jokes about my name.

No one ever looks at me. I want my mommy.

No way. No sir, man. This is my... I can handle this.

No, come up to Boston with me.

No, food poisoning, I think.

No, I don't know. That's okay.

No, I really have...

No, I'm not married.

No, I'm right here. This is sort of warped.

No, I'm sorry. That offer expired after the New Year.

No, it's a good quote. I'm happy we both know it.

No, Joel, help me with that.

No, no jokes.

No, not at all. God, I love this kitchen.

No, not until after you've had your dinner.

No, now. I have to go now.

No, sweetie. Joely?

No!

No?

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. Osidius, right there.

No. You're beautiful.

Nobody's coming here tonight, believe me.

Not Mama Carrie's kid.

Not that I do, but the work that is done

Not too good, actually.

Not yet. Not married.

Nothing makes any sense to me!

Nothing makes any sense.

Nothing you'll miss.

Now I can look for candles, matches, and the liquor cabinet.

Now, see, Clem, I assume you fucked someone tonight.

Oddly enough, I do.

Of course I do.

Of course not. God, no.

Of course not. God, no.

Of course.

Of the work that we do.

Oh, dear.

Oh, God, don't you know any other adjectives?

Oh, God!

Oh, God.

Oh, my ass!

Oh, my darling, oh, my darling Oh, my darling Clementine

Oh, my God, déjà vu.

Oh, my God, that was terrible. Almost three seconds.

Oh, my God. Clem? This is pretty cool.

Oh, no. JOEL: Yes.

Oh, no. You wouldn't do that.

Oh, shit! This is terrible.

Oh, shit. What?

Oh, yeah. Shit.

Oh, you poor kid.

Okay if I sit closer?

Okay, all right.

Okay, all right. We've got work to do.

Okay, and we'll need a daytime phone number.

Okay, here we go. Will it make you happy if I try?

Okay, I'm just going to wait right here.

Okay, I'm just going to wait right here.

Okay, tell me what happened before he disappeared.

Okay, you want me to wake up? All right.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. I want it done.

Okay. I'll call Howard.

Okay. Really?

Okay. Yeah, sure.

One more and then I get to go.

One of my favorite things when I was a kid

One of the eraser guys. He fell for you when they were doing you,

One, two, three.

Only to find out that she's a stranger.

Or at least dangle the possibility of getting fucked in front of them.

Or at least put a number on...

Or I'm gonna make them alive.

Or whatever it is you've got going there.

Our technicians will do the erasing in your home tonight.

Pat? I thought we could have a little cocktail.

PATRICK ON ANSWERING MACHINE: Where are you, Clem? I'm worried.

PATRICK ON PHONE: Pick up.

Patrick, do me a favor.

Patrick, get the fuck away from me!

Patrick, let's focus, buddy.

PATRICK: "Look. You and me on the Charles River.

PATRICK: "Look. You and me on the Charles River.

PATRICK: Baby, what's going on?

PATRICK: Hey, Clem ato.

PATRICK: Hey, Tangerine.

PATRICK: How's that? How are you today, Mr. Barish?

PATRICK: I like Mary.

PATRICK: Is there something wrong with a girl being attracted to me?

PATRICK: Showtime at the Apollo.

PATRICK: Thanks. I owe you big time.

PATRICK: They were clean. STAN: What? Don't. Stop.

PATRICK: Voltage looks fine. Really?

PATRICK: Well, not a dump then, but sort of plain.

PATRICK: What number is that?

PATRICK: You can't wake him up.

Patrick! Baby boy!

Patrick?

Patrick?

People don't understand how lonely it is to be a kid.

People have to share things, Joel.

Please?

Potato head.

Potions, I said. Potions.

Pretty good, pretty bored, pretty tired.

Put the gate back up.

Quiet.

Quiet. You're freaking me out. All gooey and half baked.

Really?

Really? Does that make you sad or anxious?

Really? There's a stalker book?

Remember me. Try your best.

Right there. See?

Right, was.

Right. Mrs. Hamlyn.

ROB: All right, Joel.

ROB: Fuck!

ROB: I didn't crash the plane. The plane crashed.

ROB: It was fucking windy. Come on.

ROB: Yeah, man, who was it?

Rockville Center.

See if something comes up.

See? How hard can it be?

She can get it.

She decided to erase you almost as a lark.

She hates me. She wants me to go.

She hates me. She wants me to go.

She likes you okay.

She was beautiful.

She was just a girl.

She was unconscious, man.

She's impulsive.

She's more of a magazine reading girl.

She's there with this guy,

Shit.

Shit.

Should I check the grille to see if there's children or small animals?

Show me which constellations you know.

Shut the fuck up!

Slidey slidey.

Smart, funny, and nice.

So I call her, and she's changed her number.

So I can't show you evidence.

So I checked all the memories against the printed logs.

So I just figured I was imagining things.

So I waved to you, and you giggled.

So I've got to drop the van off.

So maybe I should invite my girlfriend over.

So what if you take me somewhere else,

So you didn't do the erasing?

So, are you okay with wine?

So, I'm eight,

So, what's your girlfriend's name?

Someone's got that job.

Sometimes I think

Somewhere where I don't belong,

Sorry to wake you, but we're here.

Sorry, I was just...

Sorry.

STAN: "I met someone tonight. I don't know what to do.

STAN: Because we have a lot of equipment.

STAN: Get it off your head.

STAN: Got it.

STAN: He's developed some sort of resistance to the procedure.

STAN: Here's another object.

STAN: Hey, you. It's freezing outside.

STAN: Hi, Howard. She was just here to help out.

STAN: Just focus on the memories.

STAN: Patrick, do me a favor, will you?

STAN: Patrick, stop it.

STAN: Patrick, you stole a girl's panties.

STAN: Please, Mary, you have to go.

STAN: We're almost done now.

STAN: We're looking for 159.

STAN: What the hell is that? It's a birthmark!

STAN: What we're doing here, Mr. Barish,

STAN: What?

Stop being stoned. I don't want him to see me stoned.

Stop fucking around.

Stop what?

Stupid!

Such a feeling of security.

Suffice it to say

Suffice it to say that Miss Kruczynski

Sure.

Sure. We can go next weekend.

Sweetie, calm down. Enjoy the scenery.

Swoop and a cross.

Take care, then.

Take you out or something.

Taking advantage of every possibility

Tangerine! Come on. We've got to go.

Tangerine.

Tangerine.

Technically speaking, the procedure is brain damage.

Tell me about...

Tell me what?

Thank you so much.

Thank you, Mary.

Thank you, Stan. Thanks a lot.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks.

That expired after the New Year.

That girl?

That guy. What?

That has some association with Clementine.

That I would come to know so well, and even hate, eventually.

That Miss Kruczynski was not happy

That pathetic, wimpy, apologetic smile.

That Patrick guy, he's copying me.

That she'll sooner or later go around fucking everybody.

That sort of wounded puppy shit.

That sounds good.

That sounds scary. Exactly.

That sounds so good. I'm hungry.

That was beautiful to watch, Howard, like a surgeon or a concert pianist.

That way you won't be confused later

That way, when you awake in the morning,

That would be a job, coming up with those names.

That'd be nice.

That's a Wednesday.

That's better.

That's great. That's good.

That's him.

That's it! Yeah?

That's Nietzsche, right? Yeah.

That's Nietzsche.

That's odd.

That's okay, Mary.

That's okay. Come on.

That's okay. I didn't think you were.

That's only fair.

That's right.

That's strange. He's in a memory that we've already erased.

That's very sweet, but try, okay? Okay.

That's what I love about you.

That's what intimacy is.

That's what they called themselves.

That's where I live, lived.

That's why I'm here and doing this.

That's why you might not recognize me.

That's working like gangbusters.

The Clash, the only band that mattered.

The color. Snappy name, huh?

The eraser guys are coming,

The first thing we need you to do, Mr. Barish,

The one with the potatoes?

The perfect ending to this piece of shit story!

The quote goes, "How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!

The truth is, I was embarrassed in public,

The way you wanted to have sex on the couch

The work of my colleagues.

Then hide me somewhere really buried.

Then what? I'm listening.

There is?

There was a tape recorder. No, not the picture.

There we are, Mr. Barish. STAN: All right, that's better.

There we go. Patrick?

There you are.

There you go. You're welcome.

There's a good story behind that...

There's a pen right there.

There's an emotional core to each of our memories,

There's more.

There's more. No.

There's no dog.

There's no memory left.

There's no phone line.

There's no such thing as this.

There's no time to fuck around.

There's nothing wrong with you.

There's one that goes, "Blessed are the forgetful,

There's Osidius.

There's someone here.

There's this other one I like.

They might have a dog.

They're not worth it, Joel.

Think I heard a crack.

This company makes a whole line of colors with equally snappy names.

This is a memory of me.

This is a one time mistake.

This is a really bad time for this.

This is about right.

This is it, Joel. It's gonna be gone soon.

This is so cool!

This is so... We should get started.

This is Stan Fink, one of our most experienced and skilled technicians.

This is very bad news. Where are my glasses?

This is weird.

This isn't about us. I agree.

This isn't good.

This looks good.

This place is sort of a dump, don't you think?

This really young guy.

Those eye drops you gave me didn't do shit.

To let people begin again.

To sleep? I'm so tired.

Tomorrow night? Honeymoon on ice?

Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them

Two Blue Ruins.

Uninspired.

Valentine's Day is three days away. I want it resolved.

Very good.

Very good. Now tell me about Clementine.

Wait, what am I doing? Freddy, you don't scare me anymore.

Wait.

Wait. "Blessed are the forgetful,

Wake yourself up!

Want to go?

Was it something I said? Yeah.

Was my Huckleberry Hound doll.

Was not happy and she wanted to move on.

We agreed it's for the best, Mary.

We are David and Ruth Laskin.

We can fit you in on March 1.

We gotta focus here, Patrick.

We have a history.

We have some work to do.

We have some work to do.

We have to do something. He could wake up all half baked.

We haven't checked yet.

We should call Howard.

We want to empty your home,

We want to empty your life of Clementine.

We'll need photos,

We'll start with your most recent memories

We'll talk later, okay?

We'll use these items

We're at 159 South Village.

We're fucking gonna talk about it!

We're going to see my grandma. Shit!

We're right in the middle of erasing this poor man's...

We've got a long night ahead of us.

We've lost him for a moment,

Well, you choose the wine.

Well, you don't know me, so you don't know, do you?

What am I...

What are the odds?

What are you confused about? Everything's fine.

What are you doing here, baby?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? I'm not doing anything.

What are you like?

What can I say? You know, Clementine's just like that.

What day would you like to come in this week?

What did I do?

What do you mean?

What do you need?

What do you want, Joel? I want you to wait for a while.

What do you write if you don't have any thoughts or passions or love?

What Howard gives to the world.

What is it?

What is it? ROB: I don't know.

What is this? I don't know.

What might?

What Patrick guy?

What shall we do? I just said, I don't know.

What shall we do? STAN: I don't know what to do.

What the heck was he doing there?

What the hell are you talking about?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? Come on, careful! Step back!

What? Female.

What? I don't know. Just wait.

What? I think we should go.

What? It's not like... I mean, they were clean and all.

What? We've got to go.

What? You little fuck.

What's the address?

What's your brilliant, reasoned solution?

What's your fucking suggestion?

Whatever. So this is great.

When I was a kid, I thought I was.

When you're done in the shower?

Where did you go?

Where I want to be.

Where?

Where? Hide me in your humiliation.

Where? I have an idea of how to stop this.

Where's the self help section?

Which one do you want to be?

Who am I? Mrs. Hamlyn.

Who do you think's better looking, me or this guy?

Why am I standing here...

Why are there so many wires?

Why did you do that?

Why don't we begin by you telling me everything you can remember...

Why would she do that to me?

Why wouldn't you think that about me?

Why? It's our house. Just for tonight.

Why? What's wrong?

Will you get the cooler?

Wish me a happy Valentine's Day when you call.

WOMAN: I'm just gonna go get a salad bowl.

Would you do me a favor and clean the goddamn hair off the soap

Would you hate me if I asked you to clean some string beans?

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, it's totally incredible.

Yeah, it's totally incredible.

Yeah, sure. We can fit you in...

Yeah, that offer, that's done now.

Yeah, that offer, that's done now.

Yeah, that's fine.

Yeah, that's him.

Yeah! Okay. It is frosty.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. I don't want to seem desperate.

Yeah. I got it.

Yeah. I'll try really hard.

Yes, I know, but how can a woman love a man with a name like Wally?

Yes?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. No.

You are lost and gone forever Dreadful sorry, Clementine

You are screwing with me. Joel, I'm not!

You can have him. You did.

You can really kill me this time. It's my turn. Go.

You can't have the procedure done three times in one month.

You can't just say that and say you don't wanna talk about it.

You could have killed somebody.

You did it to me first!

You didn't want any, did you, Patrick?

You don't tell me things, Joel.

You don't trust me.

You don't want to go there, man.

You got any big Valentine's Day plans with her?

You got any big Valentine's Day plans with her?

You got this thing. I'm in my bed. I know it.

You have no idea how much trouble I'll get into if Howard comes...

You know what? I'll just ask you in the morning.

You know, my life isn't that interesting.

You like it? It's just my taste, really.

You like?

You look at a baby, and it's so pure and so free

You look like a tangerine.

You looked happy.

You mean, like

You miss me?

You said "I do." I guess that means we're married.

You said "So go" with such disdain.

You seem nice.

You should not have seen this. I apologize.

You should read my journal.

You should stay.

You still need to fill the form out, sir.

You want a drink or something?

You want some fries with that shake?

You want to get linked up? Yeah.

You wanted it done so you could get past...

You were by the surf. I could just make you out in the distance.

You were in that orange sweatshirt

You were scared? Yeah.

You will think of things.

You'll come to me, you'll tell me about us, and we'll start over.

You'll find yourself in your own bed

You're dead.

You're erasing her from me. You're erasing me from her.

You're freaked out because I was out late without you.

You're kind of close mouthed, aren't you?

You're kind, beautiful,

You're lucky you have Clementine, Joel.

You're lucky you have Clementine. She is way cool.

You're making this about our shit now?

You're married.

You're not a stalker or anything, right?

You're not getting old.

You're not ready.

You're pretty.

You're really going to die, though, okay?

You're really nice.

You're stoned and you're driving.

You're the most wonderful person I've ever met.

You're trying to be nice.

You're trying to figure out,

You've got all your stuff, I see.

You've got to be...

Your journal. That'll be invaluable.

Your keys. I won't need them anymore.

Your mother wants me to mind you. Get back under the table.

Yuck.

Yuck.

...how unethical...

"are somewhat diminished,

"Are we like those poor couples

"Are we the dining dead?"

"Did she fuck someone tonight?"

"Dinner at Kang's again.

"Each pray'r accepted and each wish resign'd"

"Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!

"for they get the better even of their blunders."

"for they get the better even of their blunders."

"Her name is Clementine and she's amazing."

"I could die right now, Clem. I'm just happy.

"I ditched work today.

"I don't know why.

"I guess I just woke up in a funk this morning.

"I worked for a company you hired to have part of your memory erased.

"I'm drawn to someone's back."

"I'm not an impulsive person.

"I've never felt that before. I'm exactly where I want..."

"I've since decided that this is a horrible...

"If only I could meet someone new.

"It appears this is my first entry in two years.

"It's just tiny little rocks.

"Maybe I should get back together with Naomi. She was nice.

"Montauk in February. Brilliant, Joel.

"My name is Mary Svevo.

"Nice is good.

"Oh, my darlin', Clementine?"

"Pages ripped out. Don't remember doing that.

"Sand is overrated.

"She loved me.

"someone normal who doesn't know how to interact at these things."

"To correct this, I'm sending everyone's file back to them."

"to make people feel like crap.

"Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies

"Took a train out to Montauk.

"We've met, but you don't remember me.

"What if?" Do you really care right now?

"who shows me the least bit of attention?"

"Why do I fall in love with every woman I see

"You can't be ugly. Be pretty."

"you feel sorry for in restaurants?