Celtic Pride (1996) Edit

A hero fights against injustice.

A hero sacrifices for the good of man.

A scotch soda!

A strong jawed, athletic, rim minded gym teacher like you?

All net!

All our lives, we've taken from the Celtics.

All right, come on. Pass it, you asshole!

All right, come on. Pass it, you asshole!

All right, gentlemen, this is it.

All right, give me the key. The keys!

All right, go!

All right, work it down now.

All right, you suffered long enough. Get in there. Let's win this one!

All right. Here we go!

All right. I am going to pay Nick the landlord.

All right. We've got 7.5 seconds. That's a lot of time.

Always a good sign.

And a bad mood when they lose.

And beat the living snot out of him!

And do the drills! Now!

And everyone else out there having fun.

And have fun.

And I'm crazy enough to do it. I'd do it.

And if I don't see one of your commercials, I'll let you go.

And if we can hold onto him, maybe we can win that championship.

And Mike O'Hara, a gym teacher from Charlestown

And the only reason I haven't signed them is because I feel bad for you.

And what could be the final game here at the Boston Garden,

And what have you done? What's your claim to fame?

And...why is this man tied up?

Another beer, and my new friends here will have...

Are there any questions? What?

Are you serious? You really want to do it? Because I will do it.

At centre, in his second big year from Croatia,

At guard, at six foot three, number 1 1...

At seven feet tall, number 7 1,

At the end of this season, so this is their last chance at glory.

Back to your seats! Now!

Be careful. It's a top of the line quiet flush.

Be quiet. I'm tired of your negativity.

Beautiful, Celts!

Because I am not a hero. I am a plumber.

Because it represents an event that might not happen.

Before it's going down.

Bing! Gotcha!

Bounce pass to Tom at the top of the key.

Bounce!

Bring it down! Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Bring it in. Huddle up, boys.

But as a Celtics fan, I must reply Yes.

But first, we have to do something.

But I got the good stuff!

But I got to beat these sons of bitches.

But I guess for the Celtics, the leprechauns have left the building.

But I'll be in lock up.

But I've been hearing that for 1 5 years.

But if we hold on to him till after the game and the Celtics win,

But Jimmy Flaherty does have a gun, doesn't he?

But people today... Their values are all out of whack.

But ultimately, it comes down to one thing. A good beating!

But we'll kick your ass next year!

But you did, Mikey! You did learn your lesson.

But you say the most important thing is they try their hardest

But, well, I'm sure you wouldn't want to go.

Bye, Dad.

Can we go on the trampoline, Mr O'Hara?

Can we not talk about sports?

Can you hold it five more minutes? Neely's gonna pull it out.

Carol and I are really getting along. She even went to a hockey game.

Carol, look. I was thinking a lot about it, and you were right.

Carol, Tommy, hey! What a surprise.

Cary, you're gonna catch the ball at the foul line and then pivot.

Celtics are playing a physical brand of ball. They're beating up the Jazz.

Celtics were up by 1 8, and now they're only up by 2!

Celtics were up by 1 8, and now they're only up by 2!

Celts, Celts, Celts, Celts!

Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan

Charge!

Chris McCarthy!

Chris McCarthy! Where have you been?

Cindy!

Come on, buddy. Come and get me!

Come on, Jimmy, the rock!

Come on, let's do it. One, two, three, Jazz.

Come on, you don't need the money! You know what I think?

Come on!

Come on.

Comes from you never having made it as a player.

Cough it up, man. We want the details.

Could we make some money?

Defence, defence!

Defence, defence!

Defence!

Defence! Defence!

Di...ane.

Did you see that blonde in the new Guess ad?

Do it! Destiny!

Doc Kaufman's on Monday!

Does he make you hold his peenie when he takes a piss, too, Jimmy?

Doesn't feel good, does it, Lewis? A little payback for you!

Doesn't feel good, does it, Lewis? A little payback for you!

Don't cry.

Don't cry. I was just being silly.

Don't do it! Don't do it, Jimmy!

Don't dog me, Coach. I've got the bad crap.

Don't make me hurt you.

Don't worry about the death row shit. Just don't embarrass me.

Donny and Marie loving freaks!

Every woman in Boston must want to get into bed with your pasty, bloated ass.

Everybody knows you're going to shoot the damn ball!

Everybody, just stay calm. Let them do what they do.

Everybody, this is not working. It was a bad idea!

Excuse me, gym teacher. May I use the bathroom?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Fans like these, you can have 'em.

Fans like you make me sick.

Feel the bench, all right.

Fine. I'll call Dr Kaufman and make an appointment for Monday.

For fun.

For the ladies, always the added touch.

FrereJacques, frereJacques dormez vous

Game 7! We're going all the way!

Gas. Let's stop for gas.

Get him back there, now.

Get in there. Seize the championship. We've got seven seconds.

Get Scott!

Get the money!

Get up the floor, baby! All the way!

Get up, you fat foetus. Oh, the kid is nice, the kid is nice!

Getting ready for game six of the NBA world championship

Give it.

Go ahead, Jimmy. Do it. Make the pain go away.

Go all the way! Yes!

Go home, Jazz! It's over!

Go vomit so you can feel better about yourself.

Go!

Go!

Go! Now!

God!

Good evening. I'm Marv Albert along with Bill Walton at Boston Garden

Good luck, guys.

Good pass!

Good thing they're tearing this place down, 'cause I'm wrecking your house.

Got a minute?

Grandma, I've done something terribly wrong.

Grandma? Are you watching the Bruins game?

Grant Hill would have gone to church and come to practice early.

Great play!

Guys. Please don't take this from me.

Haven't seen you since '86, when Buckner had that mishap.

He doesn't even know you exist, and you met him.

He got it for winning his first Masters, so don't get cranberry on it.

He had this to say about Tuesday's game.

He led Boston in rebounds and assists in his senior year of high school.

He lives right down the street. He's a plumber from Charlestown.

He passed me the ball?

He says thanks for the compliment.

He sued the school after hurting his neck, ruining it for everyone.

He talks to you like you're his little bitch or something.

He unites, uplifts and inspires.

He wouldn't even let you make the banana pancakes.

He wouldn't have said it if he didn't mean it. You're the greatest.

He'd be wasted for a week!

He'll never win it.

He's going all the way! Oh, yeah!

He's not worth it!

He's so condescending. Watch his ass!

Heading into the 2nd half, the Celtics leading a listless Utah Jazz 52 to 38,

Heads up, right side!

Hear that, Boston? I'm gonna kick your ass!

Help him with his bowl.

Here at this grudge match, a David and Goliath contest between

Here comes my favourite part!

Here it goes! Bring it down now! Bring it hard! That's it!

Here we go, Celtics, here we go!

Here we go, Celtics, here we go!

Here we go, here we go, here we go.

Here we go!

Here we go! 24 minutes from heaven!

Here we go! Here we go!

Here's to you. Oh, boy.

Hey, beer!

Hey, Coach Kimball!

Hey, Cramden, where are we going?

Hey, Ed, here we go!

Hey, good to see you.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Kevin.

Hey, kids, listen up!

Hey, let go of me!

Hey, listen. I got a little business proposition for you.

Hey, man.Jazz, world champions! Don't leave me hanging, man!

Hey, moron! The reason why he's a selfish ball hog is because...

Hey, moron! The reason why he's a selfish ball hog is because...

Hey, not my fault.

Hey, Scott! I hear Manute Bol was banging your mom!

Hey, you have any music in this tin can?

Hey, you know what I was thinking? We'll go back to that therapist!

Hey! Turn it off! Give me the gun, I'll shoot myself in the head.

Hey! Where are you going? Hey!

Hey! You don't want to play with Flaherty. He's crazy.

Hey. Wear something purple.

Hi, Mike. What's up?

Hi. I'm Big Jim Fulton. When I'm cutting 'em, I reach for the best.

Hi. This is the 7th game. Do you have any idea what you put us through?

Hold it right there, ball hog! Gun, gun, gun, gun, gun.

How about New Year's, when you're sitting here playing with your knob,

How hard can it be?

How's your friend...Jill?

Hustle back on D!

I am not a hero.

I am not a hero. It's my house.

I am sick and tired of you and your therapist

I am totally losing my shit, man. I'll never make it in jail!

I bet you guys couldn't get past first base with the Budweiser frog.

I better give you some toilet paper and WD 40, 'cause I got stories, yo.

I can grow, are you kidding me? I'm practically sprouting right now!

I can see why he'd do that. McCulloch makes a heck of a product.

I can't believe it's going seven games.

I can't believe this guy is trying to take my championship away from me!

I can't live with someone who refuses to grow.

I can't stand seeing you in a good mood when they win

I can't take it any more.

I did not kidnap anybody!

I didn't know you even had a gun.

I didn't mean Jill, I meant Donna.

I didn't want to say anything, but I knew it was you two. Good idea!

I don't believe what I just saw!

I don't do no more commercials than anybody else.

I don't know about this, Jimmy.

I don't know what to do. I'm so confused. Who do I root for?

I don't need your love. I don't want to talk about this any more.

I don't think your dad's gonna see you Sunday. Maybe February.

I don't wanna raise your kids. I don't even like kids.

I don't want to hear the Croatian stuff!

I got married. I'm up in New York.

I got no reason to be concerned, do I, Mike? Huh?

I hate my life.

I hate that guy.

I have a plan. I am calling the cops, then I'm divorcing you. Let's go.

I have nothing to say to you.

I have reason to believe these two men have perpetrated a crime.

I have them from the last time we split up.

I haven't seen Carol that mad since '8 7, when I drop kicked her Chia pet.

I hope so. Scott's taking 50 shots a game. If he's hot, we're in trouble.

I hope you die!

I just want to look him in the eye. Cover me. I'm going in.

I just want to spend some time with you guys, before I...

I kidnap the greatest player in the NBA, and you don't know who he is!

I know I'm hopeless. 'Cause my dream is dead!

I know you've thought about it. On holidays, your birthday.

I leave you alone for two minutes and what happens?

I like this very much.

I love him, but he's just not good for us.

I love the Celtics!

I love the Celtics!

I love the Celtics!

I mean, he's throwing it in our face!

I mean, how do you..? It was more like 1 2 seconds, anyway.

I mean, we're not talking about kickball

I might have to go to jail and become some bad man's boyfriend.

I paid 300 bucks for this ticket. That's a frigging car payment!

I realise without that nice car you have no chance of getting laid.

I remember.

I saw Kevin when I was out. I hinted about us.

I saw that the other night. I was going to call you.

I see you put a lot of thought into this.

I spoke with my therapist. I know that part of this obsession

I swear, if you take the ball and shoot, I'll get you deported!

I talked to Kevin. We're in deep trouble.

I think I need a hug with my hot dog today.

I thought of that one last night.

I traded my Gordie Howe skates for it.

I want them to win.

I was going to make them, too. I was in the mood.

I will not let you down. I'll give them some of that death row shit.

I wish I was a boat person! Their team didn't lose.

I wish the Utah fans were this passionate.

I would cherish every minute of every game.

I would very much like to be one. Let's lead our Celtics to victory!

I wouldn't be surprised if he comes back with some hot pants for you.

I wouldn't be surprised if he comes back with some hot pants for you.

I wouldn't skip practice or be ragging on my team mates! I'd work hard!

I'd like to get him in a room, tie him down,

I'd love to stay and throw up.

I'll call you if I need you.

I'll play a game. I'll flip through every station on this TV.

I'll play one on one with this hot dog any day!

I'll play one on one with this hot dog any day!

I'll sacrifice for our boys in green.

I'll tell you what. You take the bad crap and this basketball,

I'm Bob Cousy here at Lapristy Park with the Boston skyline behind me,

I'm going to say that I kidnapped Scott.

I'm going to sit your ass on the bench. I'm benching you!

I'm gonna beat your ass just like Utah's going to beat the Celtics.

I'm installing a whirlpool spa next week, and Friday I'll have...

I'm Lewis Scott.

I'm not a hero, I'm a plumber.

I'm soaking wet, and the van smells like gasoline! Give me a light.

I'm sorry about the abduction. I've never done that to another guy.

I'm sorry I've been acting like such a jerk.

I'm sorry, OK?

I'm the kind of guy who hangs himself in his shoelaces on the first night!

I'm the one born with the talent, not you.

I'm wearing Jack Nicklaus's jacket!

I've got 1 25 channels on the dish.

I've had back problems from carrying this sorry excuse for a team.

Ice! Get him some ice!

If he's hot... Three weeks of college ball and he's an expert.

If Lewis Scott ever let you take a shot, you'd wet your frigging pants!

If Scott doesn't wake up and start getting some really big numbers,

If she thinks I didn't learn my lesson...

If somebody gets caught, it's going to be me. I'll take the fall.

If they offered you a million to do a Tidy Bowl commercial, would you?

If Utah wins, we don't go to jail. If they miss it, the Celtics win.

If you kidnap a guy, you kidnap him. I mean, just do it.

If you try anything, he'll blow holes through this door until you're dead.

If you was a midget, I'd take you to the hole.

If you was an old woman with no teeth, I'd still have you gummin'.

If you was crippled, I'd have you rubbing that nub.

If you was my bitch, I'd do that to you.

If you're sitting in row 3, seat 6, you've been chosen for...

If your septic tank is backing up, your hot water takes a leak,

Ilja LurchBronfermakher!

In a case like that, that's a product I believe in, I suppose I would.

In a couple of weeks, this place is rubble. Jimmy, this is your destiny!

In the 1 9 73 State Wrestling Tournament by a blind guy.

In the 80s, when the Celtics won the championship,

Is Mike O'Hara's dream dead? We'll see after a word from this sponsor.

Is this racism? A backlash from the O.J. Simpson verdict?

It could be worth something later, in a few years,

It doesn't matter if we let him go now or later. Same thing.

It looks like it's all Celtics here tonight.

It means you set the back pick on the box on the weak side for Tom!

It takes courage to speak the truth in this town.

It took me two seconds to figure out who the man in the relationship was.

It wasn't Chris McCarthy! It was us!

It would have our names next to it.

It would not have happened if Scott had not changed his style of play.

It wouldn't be a fair win.

It's a Russian TOZ 35. Skanaker won the gold in the '72 Olympics with it.

It's Carol and Tommy. Get him in there!

It's coming back to haunt him.

It's going to feel so good to deny Lewis Scott the championship.

It's Nick, the landlord. He's got a key. He's the landlord.

It's not really a good time right now.

It's over.

It's pathetic. All these pictures of other people's achievements.

It's pathetic. You should learn something about loyalty.

It's time to give something back.

It's time to move on, it's time to get a new dream.

It's your 3 a.m. wake up call.

Jill moved to Rhode Island two years ago.

Jimmy Flaherty is so tired of Lewis Scott's bullshit!

Jimmy Flaherty wants Lewis Scott to shut his trap.

Jimmy, it's a time out! Utah's down by one.

Jimmy, where are you going?

Jimmy, you've got...Mike, and he's got a wife and a kid.

Jimmy!

Josh doesn't have to stand in line, everybody!

Just sit under the basket and rebound. Can you do that much?

Just suck up the energy. All right. Listen up.

Just taking a little breakski. Watching the game here.

Just the way you like it, Jimmy. I've even toasted the bun.

Keep 'em coming!

Keep changing channels. You're almost out. This is it.

Kevin O'Grady, Boston Police.

Kidnapping is kidnapping. It doesn't matter if it's one day or three days.

Kimball has finally gotten through to his star guard.

Kimball, jeez.

Kirby, two points! Benton, two points!

Kiss my ass, Boston!

Last time you broke up, the Celtics won the championship.

Let go of me! You're the two guys at the club.

Let her go. Who needs a loving, supportive wife like that?

Let me go. I won't turn you in, I swear. You don't want to go to jail!

Let the other goalie... That net was wide open!

Let's get him a cab.

Let's go!

Let's mess him up.

Let's play invent a drink.

Let's play the game that got us here, all right?

Let's play. A pack of Oscar Mayer fat free turkey dogs for the winner.

Lewis passes the ball! The only man more surprised than me was Sheppard.

Lewis Scott has expanded his game, and his team mates are responding.

Lewis Scott has gone A WOL. Suddenly, Dennis Rodman doesn't seem so bad.

Lewis Scott, NBA All Star

Lewis Scott, only 6 points in the first half.

Lewis Scott!

Lewis, come on!

Lewis, I think he's right.

Lewis, Lewis...

Lewis!

Like it's the first time he's pulled this.

Listen up! Kevin, you're playing the number five position!

Lunch is almost ready.

Lurch, come here.

Lurch, stand under the basket. Just sit there and rebound, right?

Lurch, we're going to run the plays. Do the best you can. That's all I ask.

Lurch! Check in.

Lurch. You're going in.

Man, I've been with two women in my whole life.

Mark! Turn on the tube. Help me out.

Maybe I shouldn't. I'm starting to see double.

Maybe something happened to him.

Maybe you two should switch.

Maybe your lucky seat is my lucky seat for the second half.

Me? As a policeman sworn to uphold the law, I could never say that.

Mickey, 1 00,000 bucks can buy us a pretty good lawyer!

Mike, you got a wife and a kid!

Mike. These are divorce papers.

Mikey and I'll take care of it. See you.

Mikey, there's a $20 penalty for writing out bounced cheques.

Mikey!

Money for nothing and chicks for free, right?

Mr Scott, I think you're the greatest.

My Celtics are playing a very important basketball game tonight.

My Celts are going to give you the beating of your life tomorrow night.

My dream is dead! OK?

My dream is dead.

My team mates will come looking for me.

Neely, come on, man! No!

New?

Nice pass.

No one's dying. That lighter hasn't worked since Dukakis was governor.

No way. If we get caught, we're going down together.

No, I had 20,000 of these made up. If they lose, they're worthless.

No, no, no, Lewis Scott is going to buy you two a drink.

No, no, no, no.

No, of course not. I just don't want to go to jail.

No, that's us! Marv Albert's talking about us. Oh, I can die now!

No, we're not going to jail. I'm going to jail, alone.

No!

No!

No! Of course not.

No. I got something much worse planned for you two.

No...no.

Nobody sends my man to jail. Let's go. Come on, you asshole.

Not brutally. I held back. I didn't want to hurt the poor kid.

Not you, Dad. I meant Lewis.

Nothing personal, man.

Nowhere. We're just going to drive around till after the game.

Officer, I'm the guy who had his car stolen.

Officer!

Oh, God!

Oh, God!

Oh, God! Jimmy! Lewis Scott's in the bed!

Oh, man! Wait till the boys see this!

Oh, no.

Oh, that was close.

Oh, we don't want your autograph. No.

Oh, yeah?

OK, Bruins. Just one in the net! That's all I'm asking.

OK, here we go.

OK, I said it! I am not ashamed of it!

OK, Mr Germany, where were we?

OK.

OK. Come on, Lewis, you pansy, let's go!

OK. Let's play. I'll start with two here.

On a team, everybody's got a job. So our job is to cover Lewis Scott!

On God's green earth

On Tuesday night, the Celtics defeated Utah Jazz with 1 06 94.

One, two, Jazz!

Our lives go down in flames and we have nothing to show.

Our lives will go down in flames, but we'll have contributed to the victory!

Out in the Bermuda Triangle in a leaky raft dying of thirst.

Pass the ball around, keep it moving. Grab some big, fat defence.

Pivot into the triple threat position,

Play that funky music, white boy Play that funky music now

Play that funky music, white boy Play that funky music right

Please give a big hand to Jimmy Flaherty!

Plumber...

Plunger.

Prison won't be so bad. I can become a born again Christian.

Pull over.

Put a Celtics hat on the guy.

Put that gun in your mouth and blow your brains out.

Racism? If the Sox were in the pennant race with the Orioles,

Root for Utah!

Say somebody grabbed him yesterday and let go of him today.

Scared you, didn't I? What's new, man?

Schnapps and a scotch. Make mine a vodka.

Scott can't find his rhythm. That's the price for skipping practice.

Scott is duct taped in my bed and I don't think he did it himself.

Scott! Listen to me! I will not be ignored!

Scott?

Scott's never going to wake up. We may as well turn ourselves in now.

Screw you. I was trying to be nice. But you are hopeless.

See you ladies at the game. Pray I win, otherwise you're going to jail.

See you later because we gotta be going now, and good afternoon.

See you, Dad!

Selling those wieners!

She loves me. So does my banker.

She very well might, knowing her the way I do.

Sheppard! Sheppard! Are you OK, man?

Shut up before I bring your head over here and use it as a cue ball.

Shut up!

Shut up!

Shut up!

Sit down! Please, Lewis! Don't make me shoot you, man!

Smile for the barrel. All right.

So by sitting in this seat I'm helping the Jazz? Switch!

So can't you see? We are the bad luck guys!

So let's do it.

So now, when we root for the Jazz, we're going to jinx them!

So you'd hold on to him until after the Celtics win the championship?

So, Dad, what do you think prison will be like?

Some bitter ex high school player who never really made it?

Some eggs, sausages and bacon and make a Spanish omelette.

Somebody's got to spot you when you're lifting weights in the yard.

Sometimes you just gotta be tough with these guys.

Sonnez les matines Sonnez les matines

Sorry, but don't take it out on me.

Spread out! Number 3!

Squashed like a squirrel on the highway. Thank you for the update.

Stand by where your car was stolen and I'll be right there.

Stifle it, Scott!

Sure.

Surprise them. Pass it! You are not taking me down with you!

Switch, switch!

Switch, switch!

Take a breather, Mike. I'm gonna shoot threes.

Taking something pure and twisting it around!

Taxi!

Than go to that little bastard's birthday party.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank your friend Billy Williams for that.

Thanks for telling me about the lighter.

Thanks for the hostage tality, guys. But I really gotta go.

Thanks, Suzy. You pulled that out of your butt.

That is exactly what is wrong with our relationship.

That just proves no one's above it. What about you, doo doo digger?

That thought crossed my mind.

That was my 1 986 Bill Buckner ball.

That would depend how drunk I got it.

That'll be good. Nobody wants a born again Christian as their bitch.

That's a real tragedy. Now step back! I'll be with you in a moment.

That's basketball. You see a problem, you solve it. That's coaching.

That's it. Drink it all up!

That's nice, Peanut. Now could you get me a g****fruit out of the fridge?

That's not fair!

The Celtics are going to hand you your ass on Sunday.

The Celtics are going to win!

The Celtics have lost the last two games, right?

The fate of the Jazz rests on the shoulders of their star, Lewis Scott.

The final game of the NBA finals. In case you've been out of the country,

The first drink I'm going to make is called...

The most important thing is that they win.

The most important thing is that they win.

The National Basketball Association. They have to win.

The night's not over. I know this after hours bar we can take him to.

The paper said Utah's favoured by two. He probably won't even have to go.

The talk is that nobody has seen or heard from Lewis Scott.

Then why don't you go get his white ass?

Then you backdoor, OK?

There are some people in this world, that's all they really understand.

There he is.

There is nothing you guys can't do! I believe in you. Believe in yourselves.

There it is, there it is, Scott, hoop!

There it is, there it is, there it is, Scott, hoop!

There was a time in this country when sports were revered.

There you go!

There!

There'd be an asterisk next to it in the record book.

There's 7.5 seconds left. Utah's got the ball.

There's no way Utah can win this game.

There's nothing I'd rather do

These guys are so classy. There's no prize money here.

They were on fire. Then something changed.

They were singin'and movin' to the groovin'

They will not lose because I won't let them lose! You understand?

They're in it for the love of the game.

They're my friends.

This is bizarre.

This is different.

This is stupid. What are we doing here?

This isn't bad.

Thou shalt not ruin the friggin' game for me!

Tie him up and hold him till after we finish that game tomorrow.

Timmy and Patty are bar keeping at the Roxy. Guess who just walked in?

Tommy.

Tommy. Football season's coming up.

Traitor! Back stabber!

Two white Irish guys who hate the Celtics, ain't that right, guys?

Two. Six. One shot.

Utah sucks, Utah sucks, Utah sucks, Utah sucks!

Wait five minutes and then call again!

Want to pick up the pace?

Watch his ass!

Watch his head.

Watch it, ref!

We are in the middle of the NBA finals.

We can even cry! And I promise I won't try to smack him this time.

We can talk it out. We'll talk, we can hold each other.

We could go Italian, Chinese, Greek. I know a great Dutch place...

We don't need Scott. Bench him and teach him a lesson.

We just got to get him outside. Then he can go where the hell he wants.

We just stopped by to bring some stuff you might need and to say goodbye.

We loved the Celtics, when you played for them. You were the master.

We move the ball. Lewis gets here, passes to Dale...

We must've done it when he passed out. We kidnapped him.

We need time to figure this out. Why don't you get us some coffee and food?

We should get out of here. Carol was pissed. She might be calling the cops.

We were at the game when Seton Hall beat Boston College.

We won! He listened to you, Mikey!

We'd tie up Cal Ripkin Jr. He's white.

We'll be celebrating the first Celtics' championship of the 90s.

We're free!

We're going to do this without him. Utah Jazz is not Lewis Scott.

We're going to jail!

We're going to love you.

We're just joking around. We're not talking about a crime here, are we?

We're not having a party! Get some coffee and food!

We've no choice. If we let him go now,

Wear something purple.

Well, it could be worse. It's not like we're boat people

Well, Jimmy wouldn't talk like that if he didn't have a gun,

Well, look at that. It works.

Well...

What a dick!

What are you doing?

What do you want, punk?

What if I told you I knew the Celtics were a lock on game 7?

What if we got him completely wrecked so he was too hung over to play well.

What is this? I thought you two were Utah fans.

What just happened?

What kind of loser would want to be an asterisk?

What the hell's gotten into you? Huh?

What's happening, gentlemen? Good to see you again.

What's with the jerseys? Don't you think that's a little overkill?

Where there's nothing at stake. We're talking about

Who are you, man?

Who is...? Are you kidding me?

Who needs his lanky ass anyway?

Why do you do all those commercials?

Why do you do this? You're selfish. That kind of behaviour is inexcusable!

Why don't you go back to Utah and get yourself a few more wives!

Why don't you join the Mormon Choir,

Why? Is it so unusual you're not at practice?

Will I only see him Sundays like my other divorced friends?

Wish you was out there. I'd take you to school.

With a spastic colon and a few surprises up his sleeve.

Worse, Scott was fined $ 1 0,000 for missing yesterday's practice.

Wow.

Wow. That's good.

Yeah, Lewis!

Yeah, OK. I'll get some bananas and make banana pancakes.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, yeah. That's really nice of you, douche bag.

Yeah!

Yeah? I'm about to snatch your asshole out and use it as a peephole.

Yeah. I'll bench my high scorer. Our fans won't want me too dead.

Yeah. No flips on the trampoline.

Yeah. We got no choice. Go, Scott!

Yeah. What changed since first half?

Yeah... No, VERY inside information.

Yellow, purple, green and white, the Jazz are gonna win tonight!

Yes, master, I'll do whatever you say.

Yes, Peanut.

Yes!

Yes! Good pass, Lewis! Good pass.

Yes. Hey, don't go in there! Do not go in there!

Yes. What are you smiling about?

Yo, Coach! I'll play. Just give me a chance. I can handle the rock.

You actually get to play in the Garden! At the finals!

You are sick! You need help!

You are so far off...

You autograph hounds are out of control.

You better hope and pray the Celtics win, or you're writing a big cheque.

You did it! You did it!

You didn't bet on the Celtics?

You don't even have to stand in line. Hey!

You don't know what's going on! We have a plan!

You don't think I work hard? I gave up everything for the game!

You don't think I've got the talent?

You go backdoor towards the basket for the lay up.

You guys are really good at this. You ever think about going pro?

You guys are truly devoted. There must be green blood in your veins.

You guys suck so bad that Nike should take your shoes away!

You just shut up. Jimmy's in control now.

You know the Budweiser ad girl? Been there, done that.

You know what someone should do? Someone should grab Lewis Scott,

You know what? I'm in.

You know, I was thinking... Lewis Scott is killing us.

You know.

You love us when we win and hate us when we lose.

You miserable son of a bitch!

You must love living in that fantasy world.

You only finished one order of ribs. What's going on with you, anyway?

You pulled a triple double, 42 points, 20 rebounds, 1 1 assists. What a game!

You pump, I'll pay. And you, you wait in there.

You rationalize with them, listen to their side of the story.

You really shouldn't leave Jimmy all alone, Mike.

You should go in there with him just to be safe.

You sit watching sports, criticizing athletes 'cause you wish it was you.

You stupid son of a bitch. Nice form.

You think I'll spend the rest of my life with Jimmy?

You think Larry Bird has a picture of you,

You think that if we see your face on TV a million times a day,

You understand? They're tearing down the Boston Garden

You were a joy to be with.

You were brutally defeated

You were right! I think I've become a little bit...

You will not interfere with an NBA championship again. Never!

You won't believe who's in here. Lewis Scott!

You won't shoot me. You don't have the berries.

You wouldn't see Big Jim Fulton hawking chainsaws.

You'd be a great ball boy.

You'd better do what Lewis Scott says, 'cause he owns your ass!

You're a gym teacher. What do you think?

You're in big trouble for messing with Lewis Scott.

You're just a selfish ball hog, and...

You're just repeating what I said to placate me.

You're right. This is different.

You're willing to sacrifice my nuts? What is the matter with you?

You've got to do it! Listen, listen! How long have we been coming here?

Your air cooler won't work, well, call me.

Your dream died, so you live it through the Celtics.

Your hand down a toilet, wrangling a turd?

Your mom and I are getting divorced. See you, Tommy.

Your whole team hates you, and so do I.

1 5 minutes half time period. Please pull out your ticket stubs!

10,000, what's that to him?

..still got my thumbs. ..This awful rash...

$300. Cough it up. Just pay the man.

A new Celtics dynasty is beginning. They're gonna do it.

And he's dancing. What an asshole! Thanks.

And I feel stronger for it. Good. I'm proud of you.

And who have we been rooting for? The Celtics!

Are you happy now? Hit the road!

Are you sure he's here? Timmy and Patty swear he is.

Bean Town! I hate fans.

Bet! That's kind of a risk there, Mike.

Big deal. I'd have given it up, too. Would you have, Mike?

Big game tomorrow. The Celtics have to win.

Big Jim Fulton! How's his shoulder? He had that rotator cuff surgery.

Can you put the phone by the TV? No problem. Hold on a second.

Carol and I split up again. Really?

Coach, You're not... What the hell's the matter with you?

Come on, Lewis! Lewis!

Come on, make us some breakfast. Coming!

Dad, what happened? Tommy.

Did he get in your head again? No, it's completely blank.

Did it affect his power chop? Yes, but not his log rolling.

Did you call his room again? Five minutes ago. He's not there.

Do it! No can do, man.

Don't say that. You're killing me! Your fantasies are my reality.

Easy! Show some respect. Patty, Timmy. Respect!