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The House Bunny (2008) The House Bunny is a 2008 American comedy film directed by Fred Wolf. Starring Anna Faris as Shelley

The House Bunny (2008)

The House Bunny is a 2008 American comedy film directed by Fred Wolf. Starring Anna Faris as Shelley Darlingson, a Playboy Bunny who is evicted from the Playboy Mansion, the film follows her misadventures as she becomes the house mother of a misfit sorority. The cast also includes Colin Hanks, Emma Stone, Kat Dennings, and Hugh Hefner in a cameo appearance. With its hilarious storyline and charming performances, The House Bunny delivers a delightful blend of humor and heart. If you're in the mood for some laughter, you can play and download the sounds of this film right here.
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A brothel? Oh, I'm not looking to make soup.
A brothel? Oh, I'm not looking to make soup.
A bunch of snooty bitches!
A bunch of snooty bitches!
A nuclear nonproliferation treaty should ease tension in Asia.
A nuclear nonproliferation treaty should ease tension in Asia.
A peace sign to the fellas And reverse it for the hatas
A peace sign to the fellas And reverse it for the hatas
A Zeta housemother, and I don't like some of the things you were saying.
A Zeta housemother, and I don't like some of the things you were saying.
About topics?
About topics?
Actually, 7 3/4 as of Tuesday last week.
Actually, 7 3/4 as of Tuesday last week.
Actually, I'm ingenious and philanthropic, and you're a backstabbing bitch.
Actually, I'm ingenious and philanthropic, and you're a backstabbing bitch.
Actually, it's a nursing home for senior citizens.
Actually, it's a nursing home for senior citizens.
All by themselves, wondering where everybody went,
All by themselves, wondering where everybody went,
All right, here we go. It's Shelley time. Come on, Shelley, it's so hot.
All right, here we go. It's Shelley time. Come on, Shelley, it's so hot.
All right, that was Kappa Eta Sigma!
All right, that was Kappa Eta Sigma!
All right, you twisted my arm, it's chili powder.
All right, you twisted my arm, it's chili powder.
All right. Now remember, just be yourself, only different.
All right. Now remember, just be yourself, only different.
All that heavy makeup just hides your beauty.
All that heavy makeup just hides your beauty.
Always remember, boys want what other boys want.
Always remember, boys want what other boys want.
Am I a virgin? No.
Am I a virgin? No.
An old folks'... Old people. Old people.
An old folks'... Old people. Old people.
And also, another thing that I thought of was, you could dress them up.
And also, another thing that I thought of was, you could dress them up.
And as for the Zeta girls, I'm sure they're doing fine.
And as for the Zeta girls, I'm sure they're doing fine.
And before we could even get them all out,
And before we could even get them all out,
And Carrie Mae.
And Carrie Mae.
And drink fruity drinks and dirty dance with each other.
And drink fruity drinks and dirty dance with each other.
And find us a super place to live, with a new family.
And find us a super place to live, with a new family.
And for those of you girls going through rush,
And for those of you girls going through rush,
And he distracted me. Just for a minute.
And he distracted me. Just for a minute.
And he says that means that we're in love, and he's right!
And he says that means that we're in love, and he's right!
And he's coming this way. What do I do?
And he's coming this way. What do I do?
And he's kind of cute, too.
And he's kind of cute, too.
And here's a list of ideas I came up with for fundraisers
And here's a list of ideas I came up with for fundraisers
And I am so mad that they did that to you guys,
And I am so mad that they did that to you guys,
And I felt just like that girl from the storybook.
And I felt just like that girl from the storybook.
And I know that there's nothing better than just being with your sisters,
And I know that there's nothing better than just being with your sisters,
And I know that what I've decided to do won't make any sense to you at all,
And I know that what I've decided to do won't make any sense to you at all,
And I love you, but I don't think I can do it.
And I love you, but I don't think I can do it.
And I might say something like this.
And I might say something like this.
And I never talked to a boy before. You know?
And I never talked to a boy before. You know?
And I suddenly felt like another person.
And I suddenly felt like another person.
And I think I'm gonna cry.
And I think I'm gonna cry.
And I want to let you know that I got your message,
And I want to let you know that I got your message,
And I want you to move back to the Mansion.
And I want you to move back to the Mansion.
And I was at the top of the list not signing up.
And I was at the top of the list not signing up.
And I was in Playboy.
And I was in Playboy.
And I'm in love!
And I'm in love!
And I'm under a lot of pressure from other sororities
And I'm under a lot of pressure from other sororities
And I'm wearing deodorant. Carrie Mae?
And I'm wearing deodorant. Carrie Mae?
And if she knows how to meet guys, then we will learn how to meet guys.
And if she knows how to meet guys, then we will learn how to meet guys.
And it seems like people would have fun doing that.
And it seems like people would have fun doing that.
And my spine could be like a noodle. And...
And my spine could be like a noodle. And...
And neither would a lot of you.
And neither would a lot of you.
And now, let the sacrificial rites begin!
And now, let the sacrificial rites begin!
And Oliver and I started dating again.
And Oliver and I started dating again.
And other stuff, too, but I can't say, because I'm live on the air right now,
And other stuff, too, but I can't say, because I'm live on the air right now,
And our piano is from Tuscany. Very high end.
And our piano is from Tuscany. Very high end.
And selling the calendars will help us raise money for our phil an coppopopy.
And selling the calendars will help us raise money for our phil an coppopopy.
And she never throws up on anybody when she's drunk.
And she never throws up on anybody when she's drunk.
And she's really into that guy.
And she's really into that guy.
And since guys don't like us, I figured she could help.
And since guys don't like us, I figured she could help.
And so I couldn't wait to get a cold so I could take my erythromycin.
And so I couldn't wait to get a cold so I could take my erythromycin.
And so I ignored all the bad side effects, because suddenly people were talking to me
And so I ignored all the bad side effects, because suddenly people were talking to me
And that was what was happening to me.
And that was what was happening to me.
And that's not the only thing I like.
And that's not the only thing I like.
And then from there we're gonna travel Europe,
And then from there we're gonna travel Europe,
And then he would kiss me. So, any questions?
And then he would kiss me. So, any questions?
And then I saw him talking to Ashley.
And then I saw him talking to Ashley.
And then Joanne, over there.
And then Joanne, over there.
And then maybe you'll wanna come live with me.
And then maybe you'll wanna come live with me.
And then pictures were taken, and suddenly I found the family
And then pictures were taken, and suddenly I found the family
And then you come along with your weird kryptonite death grip, and...
And then you come along with your weird kryptonite death grip, and...
And they knew each other. I could tell by the way that they talked, and...
And they knew each other. I could tell by the way that they talked, and...
And this here is Harmony.
And this here is Harmony.
And this is where I want to live happily ever after.
And this is where I want to live happily ever after.
And we could throw them over telephone wires.
And we could throw them over telephone wires.
And who would go to it?
And who would go to it?
And you can't say `ass cheeks` right?
And you can't say `ass cheeks` right?
And you could do like Joan of...
And you could do like Joan of...
And you do look like an older,
And you do look like an older,
And you're British?
And you're British?
And, also, why would he kiss you, because you...
And, also, why would he kiss you, because you...
And, baby, if I think you're special
And, baby, if I think you're special
And, God, do you know how sick to death I am of you?
And, God, do you know how sick to death I am of you?
And, Mrs. Hagstrom, I meant Meteor.
And, Mrs. Hagstrom, I meant Meteor.
And, you know, if I took it off, I wouldn't even know what would possibly happen,
And, you know, if I took it off, I wouldn't even know what would possibly happen,
And, you know, you should really go for a more natural look.
And, you know, you should really go for a more natural look.
And...
And...
Are they lost?
Are they lost?
Are those index cards?
Are those index cards?
Are you Lilly?
Are you Lilly?
Are you out of your mind?
Are you out of your mind?
Are you serious?
Are you serious?
Are you sure that's everything?
Are you sure that's everything?
Are you totally serious, or is this not Hef?
Are you totally serious, or is this not Hef?
Aren't we just the luckiest girls in the whole world?
Aren't we just the luckiest girls in the whole world?
Arms, legs, belly and cleavage.
Arms, legs, belly and cleavage.
At Phi lota Mu we are very exclusive, because we can be.
At Phi lota Mu we are very exclusive, because we can be.
At the Panhellenic Council meeting this afternoon.
At the Panhellenic Council meeting this afternoon.
At the Zeta house, our new motto is, Be who you are.
At the Zeta house, our new motto is, Be who you are.
Awesome.
Awesome.
Awesome.
Awesome.
Awesome. Great.
Awesome. Great.
B.Y.O.M.
B.Y.O.M.
Back it a back it a back Back it on up
Back it a back it a back Back it on up
Back, back... Back it on up
Back, back... Back it on up
Back, back... Back it on up
Back, back... Back it on up
Badass party. Badass.
Badass party. Badass.
Baking penis cookies, playing with monkeys...
Baking penis cookies, playing with monkeys...
Battlestar Galactica. Okay.
Battlestar Galactica. Okay.
Because feeling good on the inside is all about looking good on the outside.
Because feeling good on the inside is all about looking good on the outside.
Because I haven't had one since I slept in my car and spent the night in jail.
Because I haven't had one since I slept in my car and spent the night in jail.
Because I really wanna help you guys, because I know I can do it.
Because I really wanna help you guys, because I know I can do it.
Because I see that everywhere,
Because I see that everywhere,
Because I used to be a Playboy Bunny, but I got kicked out of the Mansion
Because I used to be a Playboy Bunny, but I got kicked out of the Mansion
Because I was about to try and organize a dance class.
Because I was about to try and organize a dance class.
Because I'm 59 years old?
Because I'm 59 years old?
Because I'm not that hungry?
Because I'm not that hungry?
Because otherwise, when we kiss
Because otherwise, when we kiss
Because she's our new hizzety housemother.
Because she's our new hizzety housemother.
Because there's no way that I'm going to let a whorey little tart like you
Because there's no way that I'm going to let a whorey little tart like you
Because they do understand human talk, and you hurt their feelings.
Because they do understand human talk, and you hurt their feelings.
Because they're cute and they're little and you can hold them.
Because they're cute and they're little and you can hold them.
Because we always need volunteers to help out
Because we always need volunteers to help out
Because we get no pledges, and everyone kind of thinks we're losers.
Because we get no pledges, and everyone kind of thinks we're losers.
Being a centerfold is the highest, most prestigious honor there is.
Being a centerfold is the highest, most prestigious honor there is.
Believe it, baby.
Believe it, baby.
Besides, I gotta get back to work.
Besides, I gotta get back to work.
Better.
Better.
Booya! Snap!
Booya! Snap!
Boys actually like them.
Boys actually like them.
Bring your own man?
Bring your own man?
But besides the itching, the erythromycin also made my skin glow.
But besides the itching, the erythromycin also made my skin glow.
But don't lose faith, Pooter.
But don't lose faith, Pooter.
But everybody loves her, because she's super beautiful
But everybody loves her, because she's super beautiful
But he said yes, so here goes.
But he said yes, so here goes.
But I do know that one day, when your looks are gone,
But I do know that one day, when your looks are gone,
But I don't know, he just stared.
But I don't know, he just stared.
But I don't mean it for real.
But I don't mean it for real.
But I have joined the Peace Corps,
But I have joined the Peace Corps,
But I have to go take a shower,
But I have to go take a shower,
But I just turned 27 last night.
But I just turned 27 last night.
But I just wanna mix drinks.
But I just wanna mix drinks.
But I just want to...
But I just want to...
But I lived in a house filled with girls for nine years,
But I lived in a house filled with girls for nine years,
But I really think that...
But I really think that...
But I said it kind of quietly, I think.
But I said it kind of quietly, I think.
But I tried not to give up hope.
But I tried not to give up hope.
But I'm not a prostitute. I was just brushing my teeth.
But I'm not a prostitute. I was just brushing my teeth.
But it was fine in the orphanage.
But it was fine in the orphanage.
But just like a little off.
But just like a little off.
But she does drive a Porsche.
But she does drive a Porsche.
But the fact remains,
But the fact remains,
But there was this boy there.
But there was this boy there.
But they just end up
But they just end up
But underneath that beautiful, glowing skin, I still had that cold.
But underneath that beautiful, glowing skin, I still had that cold.
But we can't listen to those girls.
But we can't listen to those girls.
But we might wanna try something a little more
But we might wanna try something a little more
But we might want to try something a little sexier.
But we might want to try something a little sexier.
But we should probably wrap it up, because I've got another date at 11.
But we should probably wrap it up, because I've got another date at 11.
But you can't even tell I have boobs.
But you can't even tell I have boobs.
But you have to have part of your heart in it as well.
But you have to have part of your heart in it as well.
But you made me feel
But you made me feel
But, I mean, I do know that I had fun.
But, I mean, I do know that I had fun.
But, I mean, this feels more you.
But, I mean, this feels more you.
But, I'm sorry, you're not a student. It was so nice talking to you.
But, I'm sorry, you're not a student. It was so nice talking to you.
But, unfortunately, he...
But, unfortunately, he...
But...
But...
By making you guys the hottest girls on campus.
By making you guys the hottest girls on campus.
By other sororities, do you happen to mean Phi lota Mu?
By other sororities, do you happen to mean Phi lota Mu?
By the time I'm done, every girl on campus'll want to pledge Zeta.
By the time I'm done, every girl on campus'll want to pledge Zeta.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Can I be one, too?
Can I be one, too?
Can I help you?
Can I help you?
Can we be 60% Shelley?
Can we be 60% Shelley?
Can you really be that dumb?
Can you really be that dumb?
Can't be a baby pledging a sorority. You gotta be a student.
Can't be a baby pledging a sorority. You gotta be a student.
Car wash.
Car wash.
Car wash.
Car wash.
Car wash. Come get your car washed.
Car wash. Come get your car washed.
Carrie Mae, go work your magic.
Carrie Mae, go work your magic.
Carrie Mae.
Carrie Mae.
Chaperone the social events, make sure the girls stay out of trouble.
Chaperone the social events, make sure the girls stay out of trouble.
Check out Joanne.
Check out Joanne.
Colby, I want to be your girlfriend more than an electron wants to attach to a proton.
Colby, I want to be your girlfriend more than an electron wants to attach to a proton.
Colorado, theater major... Her father owns, like, half of Aspen.
Colorado, theater major... Her father owns, like, half of Aspen.
Come here, Pooter.
Come here, Pooter.
Come on, guys, let's give her a chance.
Come on, guys, let's give her a chance.
Come on, Pooter.
Come on, Pooter.
Come on, Puffin, you've been in here for days.
Come on, Puffin, you've been in here for days.
Come on, work it, Shelley! Come on, let's see some...
Come on, work it, Shelley! Come on, let's see some...
Come on!
Come on!
Come on! Come on, one more! Just need one more Zeta.
Come on! Come on, one more! Just need one more Zeta.
Complaining that we're bending the rules for you.
Complaining that we're bending the rules for you.
Conventional Archetypes of Beauty and Their Effect on the Opposite Sex.
Conventional Archetypes of Beauty and Their Effect on the Opposite Sex.
Cute smiles and heels high
Cute smiles and heels high
Dear Hef, everything worked out!
Dear Hef, everything worked out!
Dear Shelley... Oh, my gosh, that's me.
Dear Shelley... Oh, my gosh, that's me.
Did I mess that up? Because I can do that so much better.
Did I mess that up? Because I can do that so much better.
Did she just call us bitches?
Did she just call us bitches?
Did she just call us sexy?
Did she just call us sexy?
Did you blink?
Did you blink?
Didn't know how lost I was Until I found you
Didn't know how lost I was Until I found you
Different.
Different.
Do you find yourself more attracted to me when I'm like this,
Do you find yourself more attracted to me when I'm like this,
Do you live in the houses with the girls?
Do you live in the houses with the girls?
Do you remember the one where the wolf huffed and puffed
Do you remember the one where the wolf huffed and puffed
Do you think you could help me out of here, though?
Do you think you could help me out of here, though?
Do you understand how moronic you sound
Do you understand how moronic you sound
Do you understand how moronic you sound
Do you understand how moronic you sound
Does the little one understand human talk?
Does the little one understand human talk?
Don't be ridiculous. Why would they have a booth?
Don't be ridiculous. Why would they have a booth?
Don't mess with me.
Don't mess with me.
Don't mess with Phi lota Mu.
Don't mess with Phi lota Mu.
Don't worry, sweetie. First timers only get one night.
Don't worry, sweetie. First timers only get one night.
Don't worry, you can't be any worse than we were.
Don't worry, you can't be any worse than we were.
Drama queen.
Drama queen.
Drop off some timber.
Drop off some timber.
Dude, that's wild.
Dude, that's wild.
Dunzo. Pound that gavel, Dean.
Dunzo. Pound that gavel, Dean.
Egg! Paprika!
Egg! Paprika!
Enough is enough.
Enough is enough.
Enough with the freak show.
Enough with the freak show.
Especially since we're about to take their house.
Especially since we're about to take their house.
Everyone gets haircuts.
Everyone gets haircuts.
Everyone will see the new you,
Everyone will see the new you,
Everything worked out so perfectly.
Everything worked out so perfectly.
Except this time, no manhole covers or bubble gum.
Except this time, no manhole covers or bubble gum.
Excuse me, you know where the crapper is?
Excuse me, you know where the crapper is?
First up,
First up,
First, we must highlight your eyes.
First, we must highlight your eyes.
For a whole month because I thought I was ugly.
For a whole month because I thought I was ugly.
For example, let's pretend that Natalie here is a man.
For example, let's pretend that Natalie here is a man.
For five minutes, just in the hope that we might hook up?
For five minutes, just in the hope that we might hook up?
Get over there. Get on that horse!
Get over there. Get on that horse!
Give me the fog. Wind, let's go. Music, let's go.
Give me the fog. Wind, let's go. Music, let's go.
Go ahead and keep that one.
Go ahead and keep that one.
Go, go, go, go, go!
Go, go, go, go, go!
Go, go. Go!
Go, go. Go!
Go, go. Go!
Go, go. Go!
Go! Go! Get up there! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Get up there! Go! Go!
Go. Go.
Go. Go.
God, I'm so sorry.
God, I'm so sorry.
Good evening, ma'am.
Good evening, ma'am.
Good idea. Okay, here.
Good idea. Okay, here.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Good morning, Marvin.
Good morning, Marvin.
Good morning, Pooter. You're looking dapper.
Good morning, Pooter. You're looking dapper.
Good morning, Shelley.
Good morning, Shelley.
Good news. I'm gonna make you next month's centerfold.
Good news. I'm gonna make you next month's centerfold.
Goofy dude?
Goofy dude?
Great job, ladies.
Great job, ladies.
Great.
Great.
Guys, remember, we only need 30, okay?
Guys, remember, we only need 30, okay?
Guys, stop. Come on, stop, stop.
Guys, stop. Come on, stop, stop.
Guys, this is Cassandra. She's only been here for a few months,
Guys, this is Cassandra. She's only been here for a few months,
Guys, we're never gonna get that many pledges.
Guys, we're never gonna get that many pledges.
Guys.
Guys.
Guys.
Guys.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha on you, Zetas.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha on you, Zetas.
Hands up now
Hands up now
Harmony, Brian Stone was all over you, girl.
Harmony, Brian Stone was all over you, girl.
Harmony.
Harmony.
Have even seen their own bodies naked,
Have even seen their own bodies naked,
He didn't fall for any of my tricks.
He didn't fall for any of my tricks.
He is just so mean.
He is just so mean.
He left for Vegas, Shelley. I don't think he's that good with goodbyes.
He left for Vegas, Shelley. I don't think he's that good with goodbyes.
He runs past here every day, and I've seen you staring at him.
He runs past here every day, and I've seen you staring at him.
He was in a uniform and everything.
He was in a uniform and everything.
He's gay?
He's gay?
Hef, I just can't believe it.
Hef, I just can't believe it.
Hef, I'm so sorry.
Hef, I'm so sorry.
Hef!
Hef!
Hef!
Hef!
Hef!
Hef!
Hef!
Hef!
Hef?
Hef?
Hef's kicking me out?
Hef's kicking me out?
Helped us rise to the top of the social ranks
Helped us rise to the top of the social ranks
Henry, Henry, look away. Look away, okay?
Henry, Henry, look away. Look away, okay?
Here I am, just a goofy dude.
Here I am, just a goofy dude.
Here we are at the Zeta House Car Wash.
Here we are at the Zeta House Car Wash.
Here you go.
Here you go.
Here, let me help, Shelley. Hey, Pooter. Shelley's calling you now.
Here, let me help, Shelley. Hey, Pooter. Shelley's calling you now.
Here's to Zetas, to making you guys the best sorority ever.
Here's to Zetas, to making you guys the best sorority ever.
Hey, honey! You had me at `itchy ass cheeks` I'm in.
Hey, honey! You had me at `itchy ass cheeks` I'm in.
Hey, I know where I know you from.
Hey, I know where I know you from.
Hey, it's the Zetas.
Hey, it's the Zetas.
Hey, Joanne, just FYI,
Hey, Joanne, just FYI,
Hey, Oliver, ask the girl to dance.
Hey, Oliver, ask the girl to dance.
Hey, Shelley, it's me.
Hey, Shelley, it's me.
Hey, Shelley, why don't you throw some clothes on?
Hey, Shelley, why don't you throw some clothes on?
Hey, Super brace!
Hey, Super brace!
Hey, watch this, guys.
Hey, watch this, guys.
Hey, where are you guys going?
Hey, where are you guys going?
Hey, you guys, Lilly just texted me.
Hey, you guys, Lilly just texted me.
Hey!
Hey!
Hi, everybody. I'm home.
Hi, everybody. I'm home.
Hi, guys.
Hi, guys.
Hi, Hef, it's Shelley.
Hi, Hef, it's Shelley.
Hi, Hef! Hi, girls!
Hi, Hef! Hi, girls!
Hi, Shelley. Looking good.
Hi, Shelley. Looking good.
Hi!
Hi!
Hi! Dinosaurs! Like, everyone saw Jurassic Park.
Hi! Dinosaurs! Like, everyone saw Jurassic Park.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi. I'll take two calendars.
Hi. I'll take two calendars.
Hi. Zeta. Tell 29 of your friends.
Hi. Zeta. Tell 29 of your friends.
Hiring an archaically superficial reflection of the male fantasy?
Hiring an archaically superficial reflection of the male fantasy?
Honestly, is this really what you've become?
Honestly, is this really what you've become?
Hopefully Hef'll give me the good news this weekend at my birthday party.
Hopefully Hef'll give me the good news this weekend at my birthday party.
How about something spooky? No, funny.
How about something spooky? No, funny.
How are you? Like, I can't believe you're calling me.
How are you? Like, I can't believe you're calling me.
How do you do it, you know?
How do you do it, you know?
How is everybody at the Mansion? How are things?
How is everybody at the Mansion? How are things?
How long would the kiss usually be?
How long would the kiss usually be?
How...
How...
I actually added something to your orange juice.
I actually added something to your orange juice.
I added my own little Marvin twist to them.
I added my own little Marvin twist to them.
I am leaving the Zeta house to fulfill my lifelong dream.
I am leaving the Zeta house to fulfill my lifelong dream.
I am not an expert speech giver.
I am not an expert speech giver.
I am so offended right now.
I am so offended right now.
I am so sorry.
I am so sorry.
I believe that every detail of the house
I believe that every detail of the house
I bet the house that falls on you is gonna be a sexy house.
I bet the house that falls on you is gonna be a sexy house.
I can tell that you like him and that you want to talk to him.
I can tell that you like him and that you want to talk to him.
I can totally hose you some right there. Go ahead, lean back.
I can totally hose you some right there. Go ahead, lean back.
I can't believe that happened.
I can't believe that happened.
I can't believe that Zeta's become just like Phi lota Mu.
I can't believe that Zeta's become just like Phi lota Mu.
I can't leave my Zeta girls.
I can't leave my Zeta girls.
I can't wait to be back at the Mansion and be a centerfold.
I can't wait to be back at the Mansion and be a centerfold.
I could stay with you.
I could stay with you.
I definitely won't listen to what Simon says.
I definitely won't listen to what Simon says.
I did sexy, I did other guys want me.
I did sexy, I did other guys want me.
I do not think, you know, that.
I do not think, you know, that.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't know how this big meeting stuff works, but I just...
I don't know how this big meeting stuff works, but I just...
I don't know if you guys can recognize this, but Shelley is meeting guys.
I don't know if you guys can recognize this, but Shelley is meeting guys.
I don't like when you look nervous. You will not blow this!
I don't like when you look nervous. You will not blow this!
I don't think he likes me.
I don't think he likes me.
I don't think I would make the cut these days.
I don't think I would make the cut these days.
I don't think I'm your Miss November.
I don't think I'm your Miss November.
I don't think that my heart is in my skull.
I don't think that my heart is in my skull.
I don't think we've ever met.
I don't think we've ever met.
I don't want you to feel attacked by all of us, so I'm just gonna say me.
I don't want you to feel attacked by all of us, so I'm just gonna say me.
I even let Bob Saget grind on me during a slow dance.
I even let Bob Saget grind on me during a slow dance.
I feel like we never see you guys out.
I feel like we never see you guys out.
I got numbers from four boys. It was all for research.
I got numbers from four boys. It was all for research.
I guess I am a little proud.
I guess I am a little proud.
I guess.
I guess.
I hate to say this, Shelley, but maybe it's because of your age.
I hate to say this, Shelley, but maybe it's because of your age.
I have a car, and I'm great at washing it.
I have a car, and I'm great at washing it.
I have something to say.
I have something to say.
I have to do a very mysterious thing in there.
I have to do a very mysterious thing in there.
I have to drop off some timber.
I have to drop off some timber.
I have, like, the world's hugest crush on him.
I have, like, the world's hugest crush on him.
I hear they did want the basket back, though.
I hear they did want the basket back, though.
I hope everybody at the old folks' home is doing great.
I hope everybody at the old folks' home is doing great.
I hope they are good thoughts.
I hope they are good thoughts.
I hope you don't mind, but I brought a few extra volunteers to help out today.
I hope you don't mind, but I brought a few extra volunteers to help out today.
I just don't feel like she's gonna fit in.
I just don't feel like she's gonna fit in.
I just don't know about this one. I kind of feel like we've created this image.
I just don't know about this one. I kind of feel like we've created this image.
I just don't understand that kind of behavior.
I just don't understand that kind of behavior.
I just went over there to look for my money
I just went over there to look for my money
I knew that. I knew that.
I knew that. I knew that.
I know it was a disaster, but she's...
I know it was a disaster, but she's...
I know it was awful.
I know it was awful.
I know it's an embarrassment to live in a beat up car,
I know it's an embarrassment to live in a beat up car,
I know lots of old men.
I know lots of old men.
I know that, but he doesn't.
I know that, but he doesn't.
I know that, dipswitch. I can see that.
I know that, dipswitch. I can see that.
I know that, too. And I don't care.
I know that, too. And I don't care.
I know what boys like
I know what boys like
I know what boys like
I know what boys like
I know what boys like
I know what boys like
I know you're feelin' me
I know you're feelin' me
I know. Then we need to let him see how in demand you are.
I know. Then we need to let him see how in demand you are.
I know. We really miss you, Shelley.
I know. We really miss you, Shelley.
I like everything that Shelley said.
I like everything that Shelley said.
I like taking long walks with rude people. Only on short piers, though.
I like taking long walks with rude people. Only on short piers, though.
I like that word.
I like that word.
I like your tights.
I like your tights.
I made it through the wilderness
I made it through the wilderness
I manage a nursing home.
I manage a nursing home.
I mean, besides, it's not like I want you to be my girlfriend
I mean, besides, it's not like I want you to be my girlfriend
I mean, everything itched. My legs, my arms, my earlobes.
I mean, everything itched. My legs, my arms, my earlobes.
I mean, I assume it's theirs, who knows? I don't.
I mean, I assume it's theirs, who knows? I don't.
I mean, I don't think there's anything that we can do.
I mean, I don't think there's anything that we can do.
I mean, I messed up things with Oliver because I moved to Peru and left him a note.
I mean, I messed up things with Oliver because I moved to Peru and left him a note.
I mean, I think my butt would still be a pretty good one, though.
I mean, I think my butt would still be a pretty good one, though.
I mean, it's just a silly old butt with no tan lines.
I mean, it's just a silly old butt with no tan lines.
I mean, say what you want about her, but the girl had style.
I mean, say what you want about her, but the girl had style.
I mean, so cool.
I mean, so cool.
I mean, with Colby here and with Oliver asking you out,
I mean, with Colby here and with Oliver asking you out,
I met you yesterday. I was that homeless girl.
I met you yesterday. I was that homeless girl.
I might let you
I might let you
I might let you!
I might let you!
I might puke, but let's do it!
I might puke, but let's do it!
I needed to hurt someone.
I needed to hurt someone.
I only tell you that because I don't want you to worry
I only tell you that because I don't want you to worry
I really don't think it matters who complained.
I really don't think it matters who complained.
I really like what you've done with the Bedazzler.
I really like what you've done with the Bedazzler.
I remember this one. She seems kind of weird.
I remember this one. She seems kind of weird.
I saw that in Austin Powers.
I saw that in Austin Powers.
I see stars and he sees fireworks.
I see stars and he sees fireworks.
I take it all back, I take it all back.
I take it all back, I take it all back.
I tempt the hello
I tempt the hello
I think I dropped some money over here the other day.
I think I dropped some money over here the other day.
I think I'd like to be alone for a bit.
I think I'd like to be alone for a bit.
I think it was a dollar coin, because I heard a clanging.
I think it was a dollar coin, because I heard a clanging.
I think we can do it.
I think we can do it.
I think you're a bad witch.
I think you're a bad witch.
I took it once when I had a cold. I was 16, and it gave me itching.
I took it once when I had a cold. I was 16, and it gave me itching.
I totally understand why that saying sounds mixed up,
I totally understand why that saying sounds mixed up,
I used to hear her crying in her room late at night.
I used to hear her crying in her room late at night.
I usually always agree with Paula and Randy.
I usually always agree with Paula and Randy.
I wanna be a housemother.
I wanna be a housemother.
I want all the fraternities to see how hot you guys are.
I want all the fraternities to see how hot you guys are.
I want to be a Zeta.
I want to be a Zeta.
I want you to show skin in the four major regions.
I want you to show skin in the four major regions.
I was beat, incomplete
I was beat, incomplete
I was gonna ask you this, because I've been seeing these all over.
I was gonna ask you this, because I've been seeing these all over.
I was just brushing my teeth.
I was just brushing my teeth.
I was just doing what he said.
I was just doing what he said.
I was just kidding, silly.
I was just kidding, silly.
I was literally just talking about you. How did you know that I got back?
I was literally just talking about you. How did you know that I got back?
I was so excited.
I was so excited.
I wasn't very popular.
I wasn't very popular.
I will be bundled up in clothes, barely showing any flesh.
I will be bundled up in clothes, barely showing any flesh.
I wonder what they did when Marilyn Monroe did it.
I wonder what they did when Marilyn Monroe did it.
I would like to try this again.
I would like to try this again.
I'd show you, but who really wants to see my butt?
I'd show you, but who really wants to see my butt?
I'll ask.
I'll ask.
I'll get it.
I'll get it.
I'll take a little sip.
I'll take a little sip.
I'm a dude.
I'm a dude.
I'm a hag and I'm fat and rude
I'm a hag and I'm fat and rude
I'm a housemother.
I'm a housemother.
I'm allergic to erythromycin.
I'm allergic to erythromycin.
I'm Ashley. Come on in. Nice to meet you guys.
I'm Ashley. Come on in. Nice to meet you guys.
I'm at work right now, actually.
I'm at work right now, actually.
I'm Cole. Cole Trickle.
I'm Cole. Cole Trickle.
I'm definitely not drunk enough for that.
I'm definitely not drunk enough for that.
I'm going to bed. No movies tonight.
I'm going to bed. No movies tonight.
I'm gonna be the next Miss November, not that little blonde bitch.
I'm gonna be the next Miss November, not that little blonde bitch.
I'm gonna find us a really nice place to live,
I'm gonna find us a really nice place to live,
I'm gonna get a great job soon,
I'm gonna get a great job soon,
I'm gonna get going. I wouldn't want you to keep the other guy waiting.
I'm gonna get going. I wouldn't want you to keep the other guy waiting.
I'm gonna go, and I really hope to see you guys in the future.
I'm gonna go, and I really hope to see you guys in the future.
I'm gonna have to ask you to step out of the car and take a Breathalyzer.
I'm gonna have to ask you to step out of the car and take a Breathalyzer.
I'm gonna have to issue another ticket.
I'm gonna have to issue another ticket.
I'm gonna need you to blow on this.
I'm gonna need you to blow on this.
I'm home.
I'm home.
I'm just saying, she should have spent the Porsche money on a nose job.
I'm just saying, she should have spent the Porsche money on a nose job.
I'm just saying, you know, maybe he wants to talk first.
I'm just saying, you know, maybe he wants to talk first.
I'm looking to be like you.
I'm looking to be like you.
I'm not either. But the point is, you're a butterfly now, not an earthworm.
I'm not either. But the point is, you're a butterfly now, not an earthworm.
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not really sure what I'm looking at, metalface.
I'm not really sure what I'm looking at, metalface.
I'm not really sure what I'm looking at, metalface.
I'm not really sure what I'm looking at, metalface.
I'm not really sure what you're trying to tell me, Shelley.
I'm not really sure what you're trying to tell me, Shelley.
I'm not sure yet.
I'm not sure yet.
I'm really good. I'm good. Thanks.
I'm really good. I'm good. Thanks.
I'm really sorry for what I said to you.
I'm really sorry for what I said to you.
I'm so glad to be back.
I'm so glad to be back.
I'm so happy that you called me.
I'm so happy that you called me.
I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you this in person.
I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you this in person.
I'm so sorry, I think I broke your Z.
I'm so sorry, I think I broke your Z.
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to tell, it just came out.
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to tell, it just came out.
I'm sorry about all the gravity.
I'm sorry about all the gravity.
I'm sorry to invade your space, but I needed that.
I'm sorry to invade your space, but I needed that.
I'm sorry, Colby, but Natalie is a very hot commodity.
I'm sorry, Colby, but Natalie is a very hot commodity.
I'm sorry, I'm nervous right now,
I'm sorry, I'm nervous right now,
I'm sorry, Oliver.
I'm sorry, Oliver.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. This is a sorority, not a brothel.
I'm sorry. This is a sorority, not a brothel.
I'm still hungry, even though we just ate.
I'm still hungry, even though we just ate.
I'm sure glad I joined when I did, because honestly,
I'm sure glad I joined when I did, because honestly,
I'm sure he will.
I'm sure he will.
I'm sure it'll be very hot where I'm going.
I'm sure it'll be very hot where I'm going.
I'm too busy in a library, reading books with dust on them.
I'm too busy in a library, reading books with dust on them.
I'm touching his arm, I'm looking deep into his eyes
I'm touching his arm, I'm looking deep into his eyes
I've been in Phi lota Mu hell!
I've been in Phi lota Mu hell!
I've got my turn ons all ready and everything.
I've got my turn ons all ready and everything.
I've gotta talk to Hef, maybe he'll let me stay.
I've gotta talk to Hef, maybe he'll let me stay.
I've never seen anybody get sacrificed before.
I've never seen anybody get sacrificed before.
If everything you have is based on looks, well, then you've got nothing.
If everything you have is based on looks, well, then you've got nothing.
If I think you'll give me
If I think you'll give me
If I thought you all were quitting... My heart would just fall out of my head.
If I thought you all were quitting... My heart would just fall out of my head.
If this is Hef, blink once. If it isn't Hef, blink twice.
If this is Hef, blink once. If it isn't Hef, blink twice.
If you're interested.
If you're interested.
If you're on my level
If you're on my level
In China, they usually tend to layer it, I've noticed.
In China, they usually tend to layer it, I've noticed.
In their belly give it a try.
In their belly give it a try.
Instead of the mahi mahi, may I just get the one mahi,
Instead of the mahi mahi, may I just get the one mahi,
Intimidated!
Intimidated!
Is anyone buying this?
Is anyone buying this?
Is just blend.
Is just blend.
Is she serious?
Is she serious?
Is that like a Yoda thing, or what?
Is that like a Yoda thing, or what?
Is this from Hef? Is this my birthday gift?
Is this from Hef? Is this my birthday gift?
Is this how you skimplify?
Is this how you skimplify?
It all started 27 years ago.
It all started 27 years ago.
It all started with this fake hair and your stupid water bras.
It all started with this fake hair and your stupid water bras.
It flashes by and burns bright, but then it disappears.
It flashes by and burns bright, but then it disappears.
It gave me, like, this glowing tan.
It gave me, like, this glowing tan.
It hurts me to do this, but I...
It hurts me to do this, but I...
It sounds like you really read the paper.
It sounds like you really read the paper.
It was so nice to see you.
It was so nice to see you.
It was unbelievable.
It was unbelievable.
It was way too embarrassing to face you after everything.
It was way too embarrassing to face you after everything.
It's a little too late.
It's a little too late.
It's a shame nobody'd be able to see it, you know, under my brace.
It's a shame nobody'd be able to see it, you know, under my brace.
It's almost like I'm still 26.
It's almost like I'm still 26.
It's for the best. She wasn't happy.
It's for the best. She wasn't happy.
It's fun, but, what...
It's fun, but, what...
It's going to be huge.
It's going to be huge.
It's just so kind.
It's just so kind.
It's like a charity.
It's like a charity.
It's like we might both lose our virginity this year.
It's like we might both lose our virginity this year.
It's like, Hey, you wanna be my girlfriend? Sit next to me.
It's like, Hey, you wanna be my girlfriend? Sit next to me.
It's me, Shell.
It's me, Shell.
It's okay. It's just, Carrie Mae, sometimes
It's okay. It's just, Carrie Mae, sometimes
It's so great to have such nice friends.
It's so great to have such nice friends.
It's so great you give nurses a place to live.
It's so great you give nurses a place to live.
It's supposed to be a mixer. There's no one here to mix.
It's supposed to be a mixer. There's no one here to mix.
It's the whole fun part of it, is you can put them in little outfits.
It's the whole fun part of it, is you can put them in little outfits.
It's time for this virgin to get sacrificed in the boiling Jell O lava!
It's time for this virgin to get sacrificed in the boiling Jell O lava!
Joanne.
Joanne.
Judging other girls on their appearance? Calling them weird?
Judging other girls on their appearance? Calling them weird?
Just because of your hairstyle. So...
Just because of your hairstyle. So...
Just consider it like another thesis topic, you know?
Just consider it like another thesis topic, you know?
Just give her a minute.
Just give her a minute.
Just give it to me. I have a great memory.
Just give it to me. I have a great memory.
Just give me a second. I promise the Zetas are going up on stage.
Just give me a second. I promise the Zetas are going up on stage.
Just go over there and talk to him about any old thing.
Just go over there and talk to him about any old thing.
Just stay away from sharp corners.
Just stay away from sharp corners.
Katootoo Jihiman.
Katootoo Jihiman.
Keep doing that, keep doing that. Make love to the camera.
Keep doing that, keep doing that. Make love to the camera.
Kind of like a coming out party. So we are gonna take some pictures.
Kind of like a coming out party. So we are gonna take some pictures.
Kristen Withers.
Kristen Withers.
Let me get some more napkins.
Let me get some more napkins.
Let me guess, is it a Hannibal Lecter thing?
Let me guess, is it a Hannibal Lecter thing?
Let's do this. There's no way those bitches are getting our house.
Let's do this. There's no way those bitches are getting our house.
Let's just say a little bird told me.
Let's just say a little bird told me.
Let's shoot this. Miss November. Immortality! Let's go!
Let's shoot this. Miss November. Immortality! Let's go!
Let's start with this.
Let's start with this.
Let's watch a movie, it'll make you feel better.
Let's watch a movie, it'll make you feel better.
Like a big bag of poop
Like a big bag of poop
Like a centerfold?
Like a centerfold?
Like a loser
Like a loser
Like an orphanage for old people?
Like an orphanage for old people?
Like, How hard can you throw?
Like, How hard can you throw?
Lilly just texted me from the closet. She says we're not misfits.
Lilly just texted me from the closet. She says we're not misfits.
Lilly, go mail the bids.
Lilly, go mail the bids.
Lilly, you talked.
Lilly, you talked.
Lilly.
Lilly.
Listen up, ladies! Zeta was founded on the tenets of sisterhood,
Listen up, ladies! Zeta was founded on the tenets of sisterhood,
Listen, if you want, you know, you could stop by the nursing home,
Listen, if you want, you know, you could stop by the nursing home,
Look at how hot my ladies are now
Look at how hot my ladies are now
Look at the wall. Think of broccoli and bad bingo cards.
Look at the wall. Think of broccoli and bad bingo cards.
Look at the wall. Think of broccoli and bad bingo cards.
Look at the wall. Think of broccoli and bad bingo cards.
Looking good, Jean.
Looking good, Jean.
Looks like a mini Playboy Mansion.
Looks like a mini Playboy Mansion.
Love, Shelley.
Love, Shelley.
Love, Shelley.
Love, Shelley.
Luckily, lots of families came.
Luckily, lots of families came.
Many of our sisters are leaders on campus.
Many of our sisters are leaders on campus.
Marvin called us. I thought...
Marvin called us. I thought...
Marvin, tell Shelley we're back and we're gonna be watching a movie.
Marvin, tell Shelley we're back and we're gonna be watching a movie.
Maybe it's over here by this manhole.
Maybe it's over here by this manhole.
Maybe you guys are, too.
Maybe you guys are, too.
Me too!
Me too!
Me?
Me?
Meeting adjourned.
Meeting adjourned.
Men like their women with a little bit of mystery.
Men like their women with a little bit of mystery.
Men write to me from prison, sometimes in their own blood.
Men write to me from prison, sometimes in their own blood.
Michelle, do you know that feeling that I'm talking about?
Michelle, do you know that feeling that I'm talking about?
Michelle.
Michelle.
Mist it a little, and that way the light will catch our tans.
Mist it a little, and that way the light will catch our tans.
Mostly sexy.
Mostly sexy.
Move out?
Move out?
Mr. Hefner, Shelley's actually gone. She told me to give you this letter.
Mr. Hefner, Shelley's actually gone. She told me to give you this letter.
My allergic reaction made me feel pretty,
My allergic reaction made me feel pretty,
My car's still dirty, so I'll be out here if you need me.
My car's still dirty, so I'll be out here if you need me.
My God, you're so vapid.
My God, you're so vapid.
My name is Lilly.
My name is Lilly.
My name is Shelley, and I'm here to be your housemother.
My name is Shelley, and I'm here to be your housemother.
My name is Shelley. And I like long walks and hate rude people.
My name is Shelley. And I like long walks and hate rude people.
My teeth couldn't stop it.
My teeth couldn't stop it.
Nancy Nagle. English major from Florida.
Nancy Nagle. English major from Florida.
Natalie, are you a virgin?
Natalie, are you a virgin?
Natalie, rules are rules.
Natalie, rules are rules.
Natalie, there you are.
Natalie, there you are.
Natalie, these are super, super great ideas.
Natalie, these are super, super great ideas.
Natalie! Together we can do anything!
Natalie! Together we can do anything!
Natalie?
Natalie?
Natalie? What'd you do to your hair?
Natalie? What'd you do to your hair?
Natalie.
Natalie.
New pledger, right there. Come on, two more!
New pledger, right there. Come on, two more!
Next one.
Next one.
Next up, the Zetas?
Next up, the Zetas?
Nice.
Nice.
No, I can't bend that way.
No, I can't bend that way.
No, I think we're good, thanks.
No, I think we're good, thanks.
No, I was just thanking Shelley.
No, I was just thanking Shelley.
No, I'm so fine. I mean, you know, it's all indented into me
No, I'm so fine. I mean, you know, it's all indented into me
No, in a calendar. The Girls of Zeta.
No, in a calendar. The Girls of Zeta.
No, just bring me more ice cream.
No, just bring me more ice cream.
No, no, no, no, she's right, Courtney. I mean, we should apologize.
No, no, no, no, she's right, Courtney. I mean, we should apologize.
No, no. I mean, you don't want to be my girlfriend.
No, no. I mean, you don't want to be my girlfriend.
No, no. In order to keep our house, though, we do have to be popular. Yes.
No, no. In order to keep our house, though, we do have to be popular. Yes.
No, really, we are just a bunch of misfits.
No, really, we are just a bunch of misfits.
No, Shelley, you're the best twister.
No, Shelley, you're the best twister.
No, that doesn't make her a hooker. Sorry.
No, that doesn't make her a hooker. Sorry.
No, they weren't glazing. They were just taking a break.
No, they weren't glazing. They were just taking a break.
No!
No!
No! No! This is germane to our predicament.
No! No! This is germane to our predicament.
No? You have a wide range of interests?
No? You have a wide range of interests?
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No. Bring your own mouse!
No. Bring your own mouse!
No. How about Scarface?
No. How about Scarface?
No. I'm the Zeta Sorority Housemother.
No. I'm the Zeta Sorority Housemother.
No. Index... They're napkins.
No. Index... They're napkins.
No. So the house is gone?
No. So the house is gone?
No. Sorry.
No. Sorry.
No. This is a sorority house at a school.
No. This is a sorority house at a school.
No. We are not going out. I've never even talked to him.
No. We are not going out. I've never even talked to him.
Nobody signed up.
Nobody signed up.
Not anymore.
Not anymore.
Not good.
Not good.
Not like an I live in the wall and eat crickets kind of weird,
Not like an I live in the wall and eat crickets kind of weird,
Not you, Tanya. I was talking about Harmony.
Not you, Tanya. I was talking about Harmony.
Now can I see your pizzanties?
Now can I see your pizzanties?
Now every time I come up in the spot I'm with my Zetas
Now every time I come up in the spot I'm with my Zetas
Now I realize that
Now I realize that
Now I'm their house mom.
Now I'm their house mom.
Now that you mention it,
Now that you mention it,
Now this blonde babe is the one to thank
Now this blonde babe is the one to thank
Now, go study something.
Now, go study something.
Of course, everybody wanted to be adopted.
Of course, everybody wanted to be adopted.
Of Phi lota Mu?
Of Phi lota Mu?
Oh, all the time. I am just nuts about the paper.
Oh, all the time. I am just nuts about the paper.
Oh, and I guess that when we buy your house,
Oh, and I guess that when we buy your house,
Oh, bless your heart, no. Just a couple of small pictorials,
Oh, bless your heart, no. Just a couple of small pictorials,
Oh, Bobby and Zach from Kappa are just dying to meet you.
Oh, Bobby and Zach from Kappa are just dying to meet you.
Oh, but don't worry.
Oh, but don't worry.
Oh, but my name is Lilly, actually.
Oh, but my name is Lilly, actually.
Oh, classy. Very classy.
Oh, classy. Very classy.
Oh, do you wash cars?
Oh, do you wash cars?
Oh, for God's sake, Dean Simmons. Enough is enough. Do something.
Oh, for God's sake, Dean Simmons. Enough is enough. Do something.
Oh, girls! Always say yes to karaoke.
Oh, girls! Always say yes to karaoke.
Oh, give me some of that.
Oh, give me some of that.
Oh, God bless her.
Oh, God bless her.
Oh, great. Thank you.
Oh, great. Thank you.
Oh, heck, no!
Oh, heck, no!
Oh, hi, girls. Oh, my gosh.
Oh, hi, girls. Oh, my gosh.
Oh, I don't know.
Oh, I don't know.
Oh, I forgot to tell you, my name is Shelley.
Oh, I forgot to tell you, my name is Shelley.
Oh, I just like to air dry.
Oh, I just like to air dry.
Oh, I know, right? But you have to be asked to live here.
Oh, I know, right? But you have to be asked to live here.
Oh, I love having my mouth enveloped.
Oh, I love having my mouth enveloped.
Oh, I love my weird home.
Oh, I love my weird home.
Oh, I love to dance.
Oh, I love to dance.
Oh, I wish.
Oh, I wish.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...
Oh, I've missed you guys so much.
Oh, I've missed you guys so much.
Oh, it's better than vapid.
Oh, it's better than vapid.
Oh, it's paradise.
Oh, it's paradise.
Oh, Joanne.
Oh, Joanne.
Oh, just... A little bird told me.
Oh, just... A little bird told me.
Oh, Marvin, thank you so much for telling me.
Oh, Marvin, thank you so much for telling me.
Oh, Mona, that guy is totally checking you out.
Oh, Mona, that guy is totally checking you out.
Oh, Mr. Hefner...
Oh, Mr. Hefner...
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. I bet you're gonna get Miss November.
Oh, my God. I bet you're gonna get Miss November.
Oh, my God. Shelley, that's Colby. I'm in love with him.
Oh, my God. Shelley, that's Colby. I'm in love with him.
Oh, my God. There's boys on our lawn.
Oh, my God. There's boys on our lawn.
Oh, my gosh, I can't believe I did that.
Oh, my gosh, I can't believe I did that.
Oh, my gosh, I just told you my wish. Now it won't come true.
Oh, my gosh, I just told you my wish. Now it won't come true.
Oh, my gosh, no. I've missed you so much.
Oh, my gosh, no. I've missed you so much.
Oh, my gosh! I am just so happy that you guys want me here.
Oh, my gosh! I am just so happy that you guys want me here.
Oh, my gosh. How did you find me?
Oh, my gosh. How did you find me?
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much.
Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much.
Oh, my gosh. That's exactly what I used to do back at the Mansion.
Oh, my gosh. That's exactly what I used to do back at the Mansion.
Oh, my gosh. We have to have an Aztec party.
Oh, my gosh. We have to have an Aztec party.
Oh, my gosh. Your biceps are huge. Kiss me.
Oh, my gosh. Your biceps are huge. Kiss me.
Oh, no, no. It's just this thing I do to remember people's names.
Oh, no, no. It's just this thing I do to remember people's names.
Oh, no, no. Why, why, why? You look great.
Oh, no, no. Why, why, why? You look great.
Oh, no. It's a philanthropy.
Oh, no. It's a philanthropy.
Oh, no. No. I have a bike.
Oh, no. No. I have a bike.
Oh, no. To add zest to the drink, first I put in some vanilla extract,
Oh, no. To add zest to the drink, first I put in some vanilla extract,
Oh, nothing a little fertilizer can't help.
Oh, nothing a little fertilizer can't help.
Oh, okay. Well, maybe we could let someone who doesn't have a giant baby
Oh, okay. Well, maybe we could let someone who doesn't have a giant baby
Oh, Pooter, is it finally happening? Am I Miss November?
Oh, Pooter, is it finally happening? Am I Miss November?
Oh, she just likes to air dry.
Oh, she just likes to air dry.
Oh, Shelley, come on. It's not worth it, let's go.
Oh, Shelley, come on. It's not worth it, let's go.
Oh, sweet bastard, that's good.
Oh, sweet bastard, that's good.
Oh, thank you so much.
Oh, thank you so much.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, that's boys just being boys.
Oh, that's boys just being boys.
Oh, that's good to know. I'm Oliver.
Oh, that's good to know. I'm Oliver.
Oh, that's so sweet. How long have you guys been going out?
Oh, that's so sweet. How long have you guys been going out?
Oh, wait here for a second.
Oh, wait here for a second.
Oh, we also need to raise money for our philanthropy.
Oh, we also need to raise money for our philanthropy.
Oh, we are not posing for Playboy.
Oh, we are not posing for Playboy.
Oh, we're not losers.
Oh, we're not losers.
Oh, well, kindness is just love with its work boots on.
Oh, well, kindness is just love with its work boots on.
Oh, well, you're good like that.
Oh, well, you're good like that.
Oh, yeah. Cinderella.
Oh, yeah. Cinderella.
Oh, yeah. I know all about work.
Oh, yeah. I know all about work.
Oh, yeah. Sexy. Sell it, Shelley. Oh, my gosh.
Oh, yeah. Sexy. Sell it, Shelley. Oh, my gosh.
Oh, you dropped them, but I got it, and they're gonna be mailed right out.
Oh, you dropped them, but I got it, and they're gonna be mailed right out.
Oh, you meant the President of the United States.
Oh, you meant the President of the United States.
Oh, you scared me. My heart's pounding like a nail.
Oh, you scared me. My heart's pounding like a nail.
Oh. Thank you, Shelley.
Oh. Thank you, Shelley.
Oh... Job.
Oh... Job.
Oil can. Oil can.
Oil can. Oil can.
Okay, cool. All right. Next up, Jill Palmer.
Okay, cool. All right. Next up, Jill Palmer.
Okay, guys. Close your eyes.
Okay, guys. Close your eyes.
Okay, Henry, very glad you finally learned how to use the suggestion box.
Okay, Henry, very glad you finally learned how to use the suggestion box.
Okay, here's what happens.
Okay, here's what happens.
Okay, here's what we need to do.
Okay, here's what we need to do.
Okay, I'm ready.
Okay, I'm ready.
Okay, I'm sure the nose surgeon would take the Porsche as a trade in.
Okay, I'm sure the nose surgeon would take the Porsche as a trade in.
Okay, ladies, fan out and find a partner.
Okay, ladies, fan out and find a partner.
Okay, ladies, today's lesson is makeup.
Okay, ladies, today's lesson is makeup.
Okay, look, don't get me wrong. I love guys.
Okay, look, don't get me wrong. I love guys.
Okay, okay, he's here. Okay.
Okay, okay, he's here. Okay.
Okay, so Zetas keep their house.
Okay, so Zetas keep their house.
Okay, that's the first time we've ever spoken, so... First time.
Okay, that's the first time we've ever spoken, so... First time.
Okay, this is your most important secret weapon, the water bra.
Okay, this is your most important secret weapon, the water bra.
Okay, this isn't my fault. Don't like...
Okay, this isn't my fault. Don't like...
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Oliver is kind and sweet and when we kiss,
Oliver is kind and sweet and when we kiss,
Oliver, I hope you think of me every once in a while, and when you do,
Oliver, I hope you think of me every once in a while, and when you do,
Oliver.
Oliver.
Oliver.
Oliver.
Oliver.
Oliver.
One more. Just need one more. Come on, everybody.
One more. Just need one more. Come on, everybody.
One more. One more. Get your hand up. Come on! Be a Zeta.
One more. One more. Get your hand up. Come on! Be a Zeta.
One time, at the Mansion,
One time, at the Mansion,
Only vastly different.
Only vastly different.
Ooh la la.
Ooh la la.
Or 58.
Or 58.
Or like this?
Or like this?
Or like this?
Or like this?
Or the Spanish Armada.
Or the Spanish Armada.
Or we could go to a club.
Or we could go to a club.
Ottoman! Oh, I love you, ottoman.
Ottoman! Oh, I love you, ottoman.
Paleolithic bake sale.
Paleolithic bake sale.
People have lots of different styles all over the world.
People have lots of different styles all over the world.
Philanthropy.
Philanthropy.
Piccata. That's another word I like.
Piccata. That's another word I like.
Playboy. God. Can you believe it?
Playboy. God. Can you believe it?
Please move out of the Mansion immediately.
Please move out of the Mansion immediately.
Plus there was that other thing?
Plus there was that other thing?
Pooter!
Pooter!
Popular.
Popular.
Pre med, family in Greenwich.
Pre med, family in Greenwich.
Prettier, I guess.
Prettier, I guess.
Really?
Really?
Really?
Really?
Really? Yes. Yeah.
Really? Yes. Yeah.
Remember to make Zeta your number one choice!
Remember to make Zeta your number one choice!
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Rise and shine, sweetheart.
Rise and shine, sweetheart.
Rules are rules. Oh, well. Bye bye.
Rules are rules. Oh, well. Bye bye.
Run, Joanne, run!
Run, Joanne, run!
Sexy.
Sexy.
Sharing, talking all night, painting each other's bodies,
Sharing, talking all night, painting each other's bodies,
She left while we were gone
She left while we were gone
She said she broke it in a skiing accident last year, and I'm like,
She said she broke it in a skiing accident last year, and I'm like,
She said that you guys should get together some night, with pudding.
She said that you guys should get together some night, with pudding.
She says we look hot and this is fun.
She says we look hot and this is fun.
She still does. I mean, she just wants to be back at the Playboy Mansion.
She still does. I mean, she just wants to be back at the Playboy Mansion.
She'll be here all the time.
She'll be here all the time.
She'll be hizzy tizzies...
She'll be hizzy tizzies...
She's not dumb.
She's not dumb.
She's shy. She's just...
She's shy. She's just...
She's so shy. That's Lilly, also, by the way.
She's so shy. That's Lilly, also, by the way.
Shelley moved to Africa to work with the orphans.
Shelley moved to Africa to work with the orphans.
Shelley, good job. You used philanthropy. That was fun.
Shelley, good job. You used philanthropy. That was fun.
Shelley, I just want to thank you so much for doing this.
Shelley, I just want to thank you so much for doing this.
Shelley, it's too late.
Shelley, it's too late.
Shelley, say something.
Shelley, say something.
Shelley, you really know all the tricks.
Shelley, you really know all the tricks.
Shelley, you're here.
Shelley, you're here.
Shelley, your heart is not in your head.
Shelley, your heart is not in your head.
Shelley!
Shelley!
Shelley! Hi. Where's your robe?
Shelley! Hi. Where's your robe?
Shelley! It's like an amphitheater in here!
Shelley! It's like an amphitheater in here!
Shelley! Shell monkey!
Shelley! Shell monkey!
Shelley?
Shelley?
Shelley? The council has come here today to really finalize this, so...
Shelley? The council has come here today to really finalize this, so...
Shelley.
Shelley.
Shelley's back.
Shelley's back.
Should be a reflection of the girls who live here.
Should be a reflection of the girls who live here.
Should we take a shower and talk about it? Shelley!
Should we take a shower and talk about it? Shelley!
Singing Like A Virgin.
Singing Like A Virgin.
Slickity slick Bam boom wow
Slickity slick Bam boom wow
So are all his friends.
So are all his friends.
So have you called Oliver yet?
So have you called Oliver yet?
So I don't really...
So I don't really...
So I have to learn things about things and stuff?
So I have to learn things about things and stuff?
So I...
So I...
So I...
So I...
So I'm gonna work on it, okay?
So I'm gonna work on it, okay?
So if we don't get pledges, we lose our charter?
So if we don't get pledges, we lose our charter?
So Phi lota Mu is gonna buy your crappy house when it goes on sale after rush.
So Phi lota Mu is gonna buy your crappy house when it goes on sale after rush.
So they probably don't really want to see your perfectly engineered boobs.
So they probably don't really want to see your perfectly engineered boobs.
So this is how we're gonna get pledges?
So this is how we're gonna get pledges?
So this is what it feels like to not be invisible.
So this is what it feels like to not be invisible.
So we need you to stand forward and be a part of that family.
So we need you to stand forward and be a part of that family.
So we'll be half Shelley and half who we really are.
So we'll be half Shelley and half who we really are.
So what's next, Shelley?
So what's next, Shelley?
So, anyway, we're having some drinks over at Theta later.
So, anyway, we're having some drinks over at Theta later.
So, Because you like my boobs,
So, Because you like my boobs,
So, car wash!
So, car wash!
So, does anybody want a wet T shirt?
So, does anybody want a wet T shirt?
So, figure out a way into his heart.
So, figure out a way into his heart.
So, get back over there and try it again.
So, get back over there and try it again.
So, hey, you guys got here just in time.
So, hey, you guys got here just in time.
So, how'd the rest of rush go? Did you guys get your pledges?
So, how'd the rest of rush go? Did you guys get your pledges?
So, I figured Shelley here could teach us how.
So, I figured Shelley here could teach us how.
So, in order to be in a sisterhood, now we have to be popular?
So, in order to be in a sisterhood, now we have to be popular?
So, listen, Shelley, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to have dinner sometime.
So, listen, Shelley, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to have dinner sometime.
So, maybe next time, all right?
So, maybe next time, all right?
So, okay, here he comes.
So, okay, here he comes.
So, please take a read.
So, please take a read.
So, thank you guys so much for letting me be your housemother.
So, thank you guys so much for letting me be your housemother.
So, they live there?
So, they live there?
So, what do housemothers do?
So, what do housemothers do?
So, what time can we drop by for drinks?
So, what time can we drop by for drinks?
Sociology major from India. Everyone?
Sociology major from India. Everyone?
Somehow I made it through
Somehow I made it through
Someone went accident in her sexy pants.
Someone went accident in her sexy pants.
Something magical happened, just like out of a fairy tale.
Something magical happened, just like out of a fairy tale.
Sorry. My mistake, then. Sorry.
Sorry. My mistake, then. Sorry.
Stand in the way of the Phi lota Mu.
Stand in the way of the Phi lota Mu.
Standards that you clearly do not meet. But it was nice to meet you.
Standards that you clearly do not meet. But it was nice to meet you.
Start a beekeeping club.
Start a beekeeping club.
Steve said he's gonna come to the Aztec party.
Steve said he's gonna come to the Aztec party.
Steve, he's gonna come.
Steve, he's gonna come.
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Stop! I would like to pledge Zeta.
Stop! I would like to pledge Zeta.
Stop. Stop the fog, Dave. Barry, hold the wind, please.
Stop. Stop the fog, Dave. Barry, hold the wind, please.
Stupid!
Stupid!
Sure, I mean, I do now.
Sure, I mean, I do now.
Sweet balls!
Sweet balls!
Sweet setup here.
Sweet setup here.
Sweet.
Sweet.
T and an A. Who are you?
T and an A. Who are you?
Talk about politics and religion. That's always a really good first date topic.
Talk about politics and religion. That's always a really good first date topic.
Technically, 71l2 now.
Technically, 71l2 now.
Thank goodness.
Thank goodness.
Thank you guys for everything.
Thank you guys for everything.
Thank you, Lilly.
Thank you, Lilly.
Thank you, Natalie.
Thank you, Natalie.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. I worked really hard.
Thank you. I worked really hard.
Thanks a lot, Mona.
Thanks a lot, Mona.
Thanks.
Thanks.
That girl over there just dropped these on the floor,
That girl over there just dropped these on the floor,
That might make us a little more popular.
That might make us a little more popular.
That was not nice.
That was not nice.
That was so hot.
That was so hot.
That was so humiliating, you guys.
That was so humiliating, you guys.
That?
That?
That's a cute costume, Lil.
That's a cute costume, Lil.
That's actually how I got those glasses.
That's actually how I got those glasses.
That's an orphanage.
That's an orphanage.
That's even dopier.
That's even dopier.
That's fucking hot!
That's fucking hot!
That's funny.
That's funny.
That's impossible, your tricks always work.
That's impossible, your tricks always work.
That's me in the basket. I guess somebody didn't want me.
That's me in the basket. I guess somebody didn't want me.
That's me in the third row.
That's me in the third row.
That's okay, really. I think...
That's okay, really. I think...
That's right, and I'm the only woman that can make you feel like that.
That's right, and I'm the only woman that can make you feel like that.
That's so dope.
That's so dope.
That's so sad. Why does everyone else get all the pledges?
That's so sad. Why does everyone else get all the pledges?
That's the same as vapid, right?
That's the same as vapid, right?
That's the spirit!
That's the spirit!
That's what I wished for when I blew out my candle.
That's what I wished for when I blew out my candle.
That's what they want, want
That's what they want, want
That's what they want, want
That's what they want, want
The chicken piccata for me. Yeah, that'd be fine.
The chicken piccata for me. Yeah, that'd be fine.
The exposure's going to be wonderful, but it doesn't stop there.
The exposure's going to be wonderful, but it doesn't stop there.
The eyes are the nipples of the face.
The eyes are the nipples of the face.
The guest list is looking pretty full.
The guest list is looking pretty full.
The Leaning Panther. I like that. Yoga's hot.
The Leaning Panther. I like that. Yoga's hot.
The lost little bunny changed us for the better
The lost little bunny changed us for the better
The music's playing. Our bodies are swaying.
The music's playing. Our bodies are swaying.
The one chance I get to talk to Colby, and you completely ruin it.
The one chance I get to talk to Colby, and you completely ruin it.
The only magic I've ever done was try to figure out a way
The only magic I've ever done was try to figure out a way
The printing press guys bought up the first batch.
The printing press guys bought up the first batch.
The Prius actually belongs to the company. This is the car you came here with.
The Prius actually belongs to the company. This is the car you came here with.
The real me just disappeared.
The real me just disappeared.
The time is now.
The time is now.
The United States of America.
The United States of America.
The word is `Metaphor`
The word is `Metaphor`
Their parents are gone, and they live in a big building
Their parents are gone, and they live in a big building
Then more girls'll wanna hang out with us. Hence, more pledges.
Then more girls'll wanna hang out with us. Hence, more pledges.
Then, of course, some egg yolks, and then, I have a secret ingredient.
Then, of course, some egg yolks, and then, I have a secret ingredient.
Then, one day,
Then, one day,
There ain't no way I'm dancing. You can forget that.
There ain't no way I'm dancing. You can forget that.
There are three rules to successful flirtation.
There are three rules to successful flirtation.
There you are.
There you are.
There's a big box of cutesicles.
There's a big box of cutesicles.
There's nobody else! It's over.
There's nobody else! It's over.
There's one more new Zeta!
There's one more new Zeta!
These glasses don't make me dizzy or anything.
These glasses don't make me dizzy or anything.
They are filthy. And so are you!
They are filthy. And so are you!
They probably added soothing botanicals to the steam rising from the manhole.
They probably added soothing botanicals to the steam rising from the manhole.
They'll make it official today
They'll make it official today
They're not index cards with writing on them.
They're not index cards with writing on them.
They're over there, aren't they? The Kappas.
They're over there, aren't they? The Kappas.
Think of it as research, Mona. Research.
Think of it as research, Mona. Research.
This is all your fault.
This is all your fault.
This is awful.
This is awful.
This is Aztec Night, the first of many awesome Zeta parties to come.
This is Aztec Night, the first of many awesome Zeta parties to come.
This is going too far.
This is going too far.
This is just their way of shutting us down.
This is just their way of shutting us down.
This is my home. This is my family.
This is my home. This is my family.
This is really good practice.
This is really good practice.
This is so awesome, you guys. That was so much fun!
This is so awesome, you guys. That was so much fun!
This is so great.
This is so great.
This is war.
This is war.
This is, Pay to the Order of Old People.
This is, Pay to the Order of Old People.
This isn't China, though. So, I just... You know, I could put it back to how it was.
This isn't China, though. So, I just... You know, I could put it back to how it was.
This seems really unfair. And I'm not gonna attack you.
This seems really unfair. And I'm not gonna attack you.
This year, we are gonna get lots and lots of pledges.
This year, we are gonna get lots and lots of pledges.
Those girls are all boobs and no brains.
Those girls are all boobs and no brains.
Thought I'd help you wash the testosterone off your face, Colby.
Thought I'd help you wash the testosterone off your face, Colby.
Time to pound that gavel. Meeting adjourned.
Time to pound that gavel. Meeting adjourned.
To a cop?
To a cop?
To love you for who you are, not what you look like.
To love you for who you are, not what you look like.
To stay in college for nine years and not go back to my trailer park in Idaho.
To stay in college for nine years and not go back to my trailer park in Idaho.
Today's meeting is tinged with sadness.
Today's meeting is tinged with sadness.
Today's the day. Go invite him to our party.
Today's the day. Go invite him to our party.
Trust me.
Trust me.
Try Zeta. Their last housemother was hospitalized with hallucinations.
Try Zeta. Their last housemother was hospitalized with hallucinations.
Twenty eight, 29!
Twenty eight, 29!
Twenty six, on top. Thank you. Twenty seven.
Twenty six, on top. Thank you. Twenty seven.
Two of them, I succeeded.
Two of them, I succeeded.
Unconditionally, yeah
Unconditionally, yeah
Unfold me.
Unfold me.
Unfortunately, not all of us will be returning next year.
Unfortunately, not all of us will be returning next year.
Usually I don't find out until much later.
Usually I don't find out until much later.
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
Wait, Natalie. You're too smart. Boys don't like girls that are too smart.
Wait, Natalie. You're too smart. Boys don't like girls that are too smart.
Wait, there's more.
Wait, there's more.
Wait!
Wait!
Wait!
Wait!
Was really working out well for you.
Was really working out well for you.
Wash these cars, you sexy bitches!
Wash these cars, you sexy bitches!
Wash! Wash! Wash!
Wash! Wash! Wash!
Wash! Wash! Wash! Wash!
Wash! Wash! Wash! Wash!
We ain't messin' with you fools
We ain't messin' with you fools
We ain't playin' with you clowns
We ain't playin' with you clowns
We are gonna have the most rockingest party, and then we'll get our 30 pledges.
We are gonna have the most rockingest party, and then we'll get our 30 pledges.
We are gonna put little trails of Vaseline on the contours of our abs,
We are gonna put little trails of Vaseline on the contours of our abs,
We are gonna volunteer at Oliver's nursing home.
We are gonna volunteer at Oliver's nursing home.
We are just one big family. I am so happy.
We are just one big family. I am so happy.
We are the Zetas, 2008 edition.
We are the Zetas, 2008 edition.
We brought a donation as part of our philtrophy.
We brought a donation as part of our philtrophy.
We can do anything better than those mannequins, you guys.
We can do anything better than those mannequins, you guys.
We could have a Battlestar Galactica night. With pudding!
We could have a Battlestar Galactica night. With pudding!
We could have one with Battle...
We could have one with Battle...
We could have the masks, even.
We could have the masks, even.
We could tie our shoes together, our tennis shoes,
We could tie our shoes together, our tennis shoes,
We didn't think you liked us anymore.
We didn't think you liked us anymore.
We got 330 new Zeta sisters, and the house was saved.
We got 330 new Zeta sisters, and the house was saved.
We have a rocking GPA and our very own Korean manicurist.
We have a rocking GPA and our very own Korean manicurist.
We have standards.
We have standards.
We have to go find a new place to live.
We have to go find a new place to live.
We just made our first pledge acceptance.
We just made our first pledge acceptance.
We need 30 people right now to stand forward and pledge Zeta!
We need 30 people right now to stand forward and pledge Zeta!
We need 30 pledges, and I know just how to do it.
We need 30 pledges, and I know just how to do it.
We need to get all dressed up, and then we need to go to a club
We need to get all dressed up, and then we need to go to a club
We never see them out, either.
We never see them out, either.
We shoot the pictorial, we'll have you do a 25 city tour of the United States.
We shoot the pictorial, we'll have you do a 25 city tour of the United States.
We should totally have a mixer with you guys sometime.
We should totally have a mixer with you guys sometime.
We still need 30 pledges by October 15th, or we can just kiss it all goodbye.
We still need 30 pledges by October 15th, or we can just kiss it all goodbye.
We weren't exactly invisible before, just the anti hot.
We weren't exactly invisible before, just the anti hot.
We won't really be needing a housemother.
We won't really be needing a housemother.
We'll put all the pledges we get into a bowl, and we'll draw 30 names out.
We'll put all the pledges we get into a bowl, and we'll draw 30 names out.
We'll put this on the Mansion tab and have it all sent over this afternoon.
We'll put this on the Mansion tab and have it all sent over this afternoon.
We're a family that loves you on the inside.
We're a family that loves you on the inside.
We're done. We're shooting Miss November, not Miss December. Let's do this.
We're done. We're shooting Miss November, not Miss December. Let's do this.
We're having a car wash.
We're having a car wash.
We're here to save our house.
We're here to save our house.
We're just washing cars and being sexy.
We're just washing cars and being sexy.
We're rejected all the time
We're rejected all the time
We're the housemothers of the sororities on campus.
We're the housemothers of the sororities on campus.
We've got a lot of work to do.
We've got a lot of work to do.
Well, at least you still have T and A.
Well, at least you still have T and A.
Well, cool.
Well, cool.
Well, don't get too used to that feeling.
Well, don't get too used to that feeling.
Well, don't worry, Pooter.
Well, don't worry, Pooter.
Well, don't you think I should show him a little something?
Well, don't you think I should show him a little something?
Well, guys like her.
Well, guys like her.
Well, I hope she was being ironic.
Well, I hope she was being ironic.
Well, I mean, you looked great before, with the hair.
Well, I mean, you looked great before, with the hair.
Well, I think we're done here, sexy bitches.
Well, I think we're done here, sexy bitches.
Well, I'm just walking around in the body God and Dr. Borkman gave me.
Well, I'm just walking around in the body God and Dr. Borkman gave me.
Well, it's a good thing I asked.
Well, it's a good thing I asked.
Well, it's nice to meet you, Shelley.
Well, it's nice to meet you, Shelley.
Well, let's do it.
Well, let's do it.
Well, Mona,
Well, Mona,
Well, not perfectly.
Well, not perfectly.
Well, she is not a Zeta,
Well, she is not a Zeta,
Well, that was what was happening to me.
Well, that was what was happening to me.
Well, that's a meteor.
Well, that's a meteor.
Well, the same thing happened to me,
Well, the same thing happened to me,
Well, they have great parties, and
Well, they have great parties, and
Well, they're definitely not here.
Well, they're definitely not here.
Well, this is good, though.
Well, this is good, though.
Well, we are a little thirsty.
Well, we are a little thirsty.
Well, we heard that you were losing your charter,
Well, we heard that you were losing your charter,
Well, what's a girl in demand going to do?
Well, what's a girl in demand going to do?
Well, whatever we're gonna be, we need to figure out, you guys.
Well, whatever we're gonna be, we need to figure out, you guys.
Well, when can you take the brace off?
Well, when can you take the brace off?
Well, why are they gonna take your house away?
Well, why are they gonna take your house away?
Well, you seem to know a lot about North Korea and the Middle East.
Well, you seem to know a lot about North Korea and the Middle East.
Well, you take care, Shelley.
Well, you take care, Shelley.
Well, you're not a loser, Shelley. People like you. You're pretty.
Well, you're not a loser, Shelley. People like you. You're pretty.
Well, you're the best twister I know.
Well, you're the best twister I know.
Well.
Well.
What bird?
What bird?
What do I do with my chew?
What do I do with my chew?
What have I done to poor Shelley?
What have I done to poor Shelley?
What I mean is that sometimes logic tells you to do something,
What I mean is that sometimes logic tells you to do something,
What I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, is that...
What I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, is that...
What if Oliver doesn't mind a smart girl?
What if Oliver doesn't mind a smart girl?
What if Oliver is one of those guys
What if Oliver is one of those guys
What is that?
What is that?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What? What?
What? What?
What? Yeah.
What? Yeah.
What's wrong, babe? You okay? You sad? Sad monkey?
What's wrong, babe? You okay? You sad? Sad monkey?
When you say your heart is gonna fall out of your head?
When you say your heart is gonna fall out of your head?
Where are my envelopes?
Where are my envelopes?
Where are the desks?
Where are the desks?
Where are the Zetas?
Where are the Zetas?
Where is he?
Where is he?
Where my Zetas at? Where my Zetas at?
Where my Zetas at? Where my Zetas at?
Where my Zetas at? Where my Zetas at?
Where my Zetas at? Where my Zetas at?
Where my, where my... Where my Zetas at?
Where my, where my... Where my Zetas at?
Where my, where my... Where my Zetas at?
Where my, where my... Where my Zetas at?
Where you suddenly feel pretty
Where you suddenly feel pretty
Where's my pink Prius?
Where's my pink Prius?
Where's your brace?
Where's your brace?
Which I had dropped the other day.
Which I had dropped the other day.
Which is better.
Which is better.
Which is like 2000 miles away, as you probably know, in Polynesia.
Which is like 2000 miles away, as you probably know, in Polynesia.
Who is Oliver?
Who is Oliver?
Who knew steam can be hot?
Who knew steam can be hot?
Who knew?
Who knew?
Who wants to be a part of something real? Zeta.
Who wants to be a part of something real? Zeta.
Who wants to have, like, a conversation with a girl before he hooks up with her?
Who wants to have, like, a conversation with a girl before he hooks up with her?
Who's so retarded, it's a crime
Who's so retarded, it's a crime
Whoa. No.
Whoa. No.
Whoa. Okay, what's going on with your heart?
Whoa. Okay, what's going on with your heart?
Why am I such a yummy dummy?
Why am I such a yummy dummy?
Why are you keeping the rich, good looking, famous guys all to yourself?
Why are you keeping the rich, good looking, famous guys all to yourself?
Why didn't anyone show up?
Why didn't anyone show up?
Why do everyone's eyes glaze over when I talk about this?
Why do everyone's eyes glaze over when I talk about this?
Why don't you have a drink right now?
Why don't you have a drink right now?
Why would he do that?
Why would he do that?
Why would I wanna live anywhere else?
Why would I wanna live anywhere else?
Why would Shelley just leave?
Why would Shelley just leave?
Why?
Why?
Why? They're right. We are losers.
Why? They're right. We are losers.
Why'd you do that?
Why'd you do that?
With a Playboy Channel documentary on the life of a centerfold.
With a Playboy Channel documentary on the life of a centerfold.
Work it. Work it.
Work it. Work it.
Would you maybe stop giving me tickets if I told you I was having a really bad week
Would you maybe stop giving me tickets if I told you I was having a really bad week
Would you stand there and let me go like this
Would you stand there and let me go like this
Wow, a Bunny?
Wow, a Bunny?
Wow, this music is super, super great,
Wow, this music is super, super great,
Wow, this was really good food. I hope it doesn't go straight to my butt.
Wow, this was really good food. I hope it doesn't go straight to my butt.
Wow, you hired the Exorcist. That's great.
Wow, you hired the Exorcist. That's great.
Wow, you hired the Exorcist. That's great.
Wow, you hired the Exorcist. That's great.
Wow, you look great.
Wow, you look great.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow. Great, thank you very much.
Wow. Great, thank you very much.
Wow. Great, thank you very much.
Wow. Great, thank you very much.
Wow. Okay.
Wow. Okay.
Yay! This is gonna be so much fun!
Yay! This is gonna be so much fun!
Yeah, and since then, we've added some pretty kick ass parties to the list.
Yeah, and since then, we've added some pretty kick ass parties to the list.
Yeah, because the whole peeing in your pants thing
Yeah, because the whole peeing in your pants thing
Yeah, but instead of judging and rejecting,
Yeah, but instead of judging and rejecting,
Yeah, but more important than the food,
Yeah, but more important than the food,
Yeah, but that's 59 in Bunny years.
Yeah, but that's 59 in Bunny years.
Yeah, I do. So keep all your fingers crossed.
Yeah, I do. So keep all your fingers crossed.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, mangoritas.
Yeah, mangoritas.
Yeah, seriously, I've tried to hook up with all of them.
Yeah, seriously, I've tried to hook up with all of them.
Yeah, that's...
Yeah, that's...
Yeah, we'll pick a great song for you.
Yeah, we'll pick a great song for you.
Yeah, whatever.
Yeah, whatever.
Yeah, work it. Think really sexy witch.
Yeah, work it. Think really sexy witch.
Yeah, y'old grumpy. To bond.
Yeah, y'old grumpy. To bond.
Yeah, you guys can go next if you want.
Yeah, you guys can go next if you want.
Yeah, you made me feel
Yeah, you made me feel
Yeah, you should go.
Yeah, you should go.
Yeah! Come on!
Yeah! Come on!
Yeah?
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Hence!
Yeah. Hence!
Yeah. I don't know anything about them either, so that's awesome.
Yeah. I don't know anything about them either, so that's awesome.
Yeah. I'd love to.
Yeah. I'd love to.
Yeah. It just explodes your taste buds, so the drink just envelops your mouth.
Yeah. It just explodes your taste buds, so the drink just envelops your mouth.
Yeah. You know what, Mona? You're right.
Yeah. You know what, Mona? You're right.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep. My ass.
Yep. My ass.
Yes, that's true. So with that said, that brings us to our last order of business.
Yes, that's true. So with that said, that brings us to our last order of business.
Yes, we are going to have so many pledges, we'll need all of the extra space.
Yes, we are going to have so many pledges, we'll need all of the extra space.
Yes, you are.
Yes, you are.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes. He didn't seem too excited to be going out on a second date,
Yes. He didn't seem too excited to be going out on a second date,
Yes. Yes, I would.
Yes. Yes, I would.
You are so vapid.
You are so vapid.
You betcha. You betcha.
You betcha. You betcha.
You can do anything you set your mind to, Shelley.
You can do anything you set your mind to, Shelley.
You can do this.
You can do this.
You can make, like, an Abraham Lincoln mouse.
You can make, like, an Abraham Lincoln mouse.
You can sweep the chimney. Won't that be nice?
You can sweep the chimney. Won't that be nice?
You currently residing in this car, ma'am?
You currently residing in this car, ma'am?
You did send out the invitations, didn't you?
You did send out the invitations, didn't you?
You don't need to hide anymore.
You don't need to hide anymore.
You found my weakness, used it against me like kryptonite,
You found my weakness, used it against me like kryptonite,
You got guys falling from trees for you, and it's like...
You got guys falling from trees for you, and it's like...
You gotta get up there and do karaoke. Boys like singing. It's sexy.
You gotta get up there and do karaoke. Boys like singing. It's sexy.
You guys have not met your requirements for three years running now.
You guys have not met your requirements for three years running now.
You guys have to try one of these. Marvin makes the best margaritas.
You guys have to try one of these. Marvin makes the best margaritas.
You guys, come here and look at this.
You guys, come here and look at this.
You guys, I can make you way hotter than any old Phi lota Mu.
You guys, I can make you way hotter than any old Phi lota Mu.
You guys, karaoke is so fun!
You guys, karaoke is so fun!
You have two hours to collect your belongings and leave the premises.
You have two hours to collect your belongings and leave the premises.
You just did.
You just did.
You just ignore that dumb old wall.
You just ignore that dumb old wall.
You know the one. What's her name?
You know the one. What's her name?
You know what I mean? Like how... What are you...
You know what I mean? Like how... What are you...
You know what I'm saying?
You know what I'm saying?
You know what? Before you got here, we were individuals.
You know what? Before you got here, we were individuals.
You know what? You're still too sexy.
You know what? You're still too sexy.
You know where the crapper is?
You know where the crapper is?
You know, I worked every angle in the book.
You know, I worked every angle in the book.
You know, just see where this goes.
You know, just see where this goes.
You know, my whole life, that's all I've ever wanted to do,
You know, my whole life, that's all I've ever wanted to do,
You know, so those statues don't really fit, because those are from Easter Island,
You know, so those statues don't really fit, because those are from Easter Island,
You know? We could like play some form of dodge ball, maybe.
You know? We could like play some form of dodge ball, maybe.
You like what you see, stud?
You like what you see, stud?
You look nervous.
You look nervous.
You said you needed to raise money.
You said you needed to raise money.
You seem a little young to be a housemother.
You seem a little young to be a housemother.
You should totally mail me your number sometime.
You should totally mail me your number sometime.
You think I'm young?
You think I'm young?
You violated Code 753. That's unlawful spitting.
You violated Code 753. That's unlawful spitting.
You wanna come over?
You wanna come over?
You wanna get cut, bitch?
You wanna get cut, bitch?
You were in Playboy. Girls with GEDs, right?
You were in Playboy. Girls with GEDs, right?
You will not tell Hef that we wrote that letter to Shelley.
You will not tell Hef that we wrote that letter to Shelley.
You. You. You got one.
You. You. You got one.
You'll go back to being homeless.
You'll go back to being homeless.
You're gorgeous, Shelley. So hot!
You're gorgeous, Shelley. So hot!
You're hiring me?
You're hiring me?
You're like a supermodel, except more pregnant. Keep going.
You're like a supermodel, except more pregnant. Keep going.
You're making me Miss November?
You're making me Miss November?
You're not gonna tell him, are you?
You're not gonna tell him, are you?
You're pretty pleased with yourself, aren't you?
You're pretty pleased with yourself, aren't you?
You've got refrigerator magnets stuck to your brace again.
You've got refrigerator magnets stuck to your brace again.
You've turned us all into stupid bimbos.
You've turned us all into stupid bimbos.
Your biceps are huge! Kiss me.
Your biceps are huge! Kiss me.
Your birthday party on Friday's gonna be so much fun!
Your birthday party on Friday's gonna be so much fun!
Your blueberry French toast is ready.
Your blueberry French toast is ready.
Your girlfriend?
Your girlfriend?
Your heart has its own cavity. Right under your fake boobs.
Your heart has its own cavity. Right under your fake boobs.
Zeta had a ton of people interested, don't get me wrong. Thanks to you.
Zeta had a ton of people interested, don't get me wrong. Thanks to you.
2004, actually.
2004, actually.
All right. Here.
All right. Here.
And I don't want to interrupt her. Okay.
And I don't want to interrupt her. Okay.
Are we leaving? Yes.
Are we leaving? Yes.
Are you a good witch or a bad witch? A good witch.
Are you a good witch or a bad witch? A good witch.
Are you okay? With your... Oh, yes.
Are you okay? With your... Oh, yes.
Boo to Katootoo. Next.
Boo to Katootoo. Next.
But I really think it's... So nice.
But I really think it's... So nice.
Bye, Shell. Bye.
Bye, Shell. Bye.
Can I even do that? Yeah. You can do that.
Can I even do that? Yeah. You can do that.
Can you mail these out for her? Sure thing.
Can you mail these out for her? Sure thing.
Careful what you research. But I really had fun.
Careful what you research. But I really had fun.
Did I do what? Fart.
Did I do what? Fart.
Do you go to this school? This is a school?
Do you go to this school? This is a school?
Do you know what I realized? That you were pretty?
Do you know what I realized? That you were pretty?
Do you want some ketchup? That'd be great.
Do you want some ketchup? That'd be great.
Does that say Zeta? Yeah.
Does that say Zeta? Yeah.
Don't forget to call, Shelley. Say you're nauseous.
Don't forget to call, Shelley. Say you're nauseous.
Don't stare at him too much. Don't brush your teeth.
Don't stare at him too much. Don't brush your teeth.
Don't use the word elucidate. Pretty much entirely different.
Don't use the word elucidate. Pretty much entirely different.
Excuse me. Oh, thank God.
Excuse me. Oh, thank God.
Excuse me. Why, did you fart?
Excuse me. Why, did you fart?
Go flirt with him. Right.
Go flirt with him. Right.
He's gonna love your shoes. Deep breath, take a deep breath.
He's gonna love your shoes. Deep breath, take a deep breath.
Hello. Hello.
Hello. Hello.
Hey, do you want me to show you upstairs? Yes! Show me, show me, show me.
Hey, do you want me to show you upstairs? Yes! Show me, show me, show me.
Hey, girls. Hi.
Hey, girls. Hi.
Hey, Lauren. Hi, Shelley!
Hey, Lauren. Hi, Shelley!
Hi, girls. Oh, my God!
Hi, girls. Oh, my God!
Hi. Hi.
Hi. Hi.
Hi. Hi.
Hi. Hi.
Hi. Hi.
Hi. Hi.
Hi. Hi.
Hi. Hi.
I could change it back. Why?
I could change it back. Why?
I do? Yeah.
I do? Yeah.
I don't know. Oh, okay. Okay, listen.
I don't know. Oh, okay. Okay, listen.
I know. Thank you.
I know. Thank you.
I know. Wait.
I know. Wait.
I'd love to. Really?
I'd love to. Really?
I'll be a Zeta! Me, too!
I'll be a Zeta! Me, too!
I'll do it! Fourteen.
I'll do it! Fourteen.
I'll pledge! Twelve! Thirteen! Come on, we need 30.
I'll pledge! Twelve! Thirteen! Come on, we need 30.
I'm getting Cs in all my classes. Why am I looking like this?
I'm getting Cs in all my classes. Why am I looking like this?
I'm Shelley. Nice to meet you again, Shelley.
I'm Shelley. Nice to meet you again, Shelley.
In. Guys...
In. Guys...
Is that Juicy? Yeah, I love their stuff.
Is that Juicy? Yeah, I love their stuff.
It's gone. Really?
It's gone. Really?
Just do it again. Got it?
Just do it again. Got it?
Marvin! Oh, hey, Shelley.
Marvin! Oh, hey, Shelley.
Move out of the way, man. Move it, Junior.
Move out of the way, man. Move it, Junior.
Nice, Shelley. That was awesome. Shelley!
Nice, Shelley. That was awesome. Shelley!
No doubt. Very cute.
No doubt. Very cute.
No, you didn't. Did so.
No, you didn't. Did so.
No, you have not. Yes. Yes, I did.
No, you have not. Yes. Yes, I did.
Oh, last Saturday? Yes.
Oh, last Saturday? Yes.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God. He makes the best margaritas. Yep. It's because he uses mangos.
Oh, my God. He makes the best margaritas. Yep. It's because he uses mangos.
Oh, my gosh. Go, Zeta! Go, Zeta! Go, Zeta! Go, Zeta!
Oh, my gosh. Go, Zeta! Go, Zeta! Go, Zeta! Go, Zeta!
Okay, my number's 7 6... Anyways, it was great meeting you, Nelly.
Okay, my number's 7 6... Anyways, it was great meeting you, Nelly.
Oliver. Yes.
Oliver. Yes.
Really? It was amazing.
Really? It was amazing.
Sacrifice! Sacrifice! Sacrifice! Sacrifice!
Sacrifice! Sacrifice! Sacrifice! Sacrifice!
Seriously, we were wretched. Awful.
Seriously, we were wretched. Awful.
Shelley! Oh, my...
Shelley! Oh, my...
Shelley. Hi!
Shelley. Hi!
Sideways. Sorry, sorry.
Sideways. Sorry, sorry.
So nice. So nice.
So nice. So nice.
So nice. So nice.
So nice. So nice.
Sorry, let me take care of that. It's okay. It's okay.
Sorry, let me take care of that. It's okay. It's okay.
Thank you. It's nice.
Thank you. It's nice.
Thank you. Thanks.
Thank you. Thanks.
Thank you. You ready?
Thank you. You ready?
Thanks, guys. You're welcome.
Thanks, guys. You're welcome.
That much? Yeah.
That much? Yeah.
That's right, it's like this. Oh, good God!
That's right, it's like this. Oh, good God!
That's right. Oh, my gosh.
That's right. Oh, my gosh.
The second one. Great.
The second one. Great.
Theta. Totally.
Theta. Totally.
This house is so nice! I know.
This house is so nice! I know.
This isn't who I am. I can't believe you let me do this to myself.
This isn't who I am. I can't believe you let me do this to myself.
Throw the ball to me, Kim. Oh, nice catch. Awesome throw.
Throw the ball to me, Kim. Oh, nice catch. Awesome throw.
Twenty four, 25. Up here! Pick me!
Twenty four, 25. Up here! Pick me!
Twenty two. Twenty three. Come on! I'll be in Zeta!
Twenty two. Twenty three. Come on! I'll be in Zeta!
We need 30. Thirty pledges? There's seven of us, dude.
We need 30. Thirty pledges? There's seven of us, dude.
We were fine the way we were. We look ridiculous.
We were fine the way we were. We look ridiculous.
What? She had style?
What? She had style?
Where'd you live? The Playboy Mansion.
Where'd you live? The Playboy Mansion.
Whose booth is that? That's Zeta's booth.
Whose booth is that? That's Zeta's booth.
Why are they acting like that? Yes.
Why are they acting like that? Yes.
Why do we need knee highs? Oh, my God.
Why do we need knee highs? Oh, my God.
Would you mind if we walked? Oh, yes, I like to walk.
Would you mind if we walked? Oh, yes, I like to walk.
Yeah, I got it, I got it, I got it. So I got it. Good.
Yeah, I got it, I got it, I got it. So I got it. Good.
Yeah, it just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? Sounds like Hotta.
Yeah, it just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? Sounds like Hotta.
Yeah, so cute. I like.
Yeah, so cute. I like.
Yeah. Or, you know, maybe some wet pants.
Yeah. Or, you know, maybe some wet pants.
Yes! Hey, you guys! Look.
Yes! Hey, you guys! Look.
Yes. Yeah!
Yes. Yeah!
You know what I'm talking about? Tone down the sexuality.
You know what I'm talking about? Tone down the sexuality.
You should introduce me. Oh, of course.
You should introduce me. Oh, of course.
You're funny. Thank you.
You're funny. Thank you.
...and StairMaster to tone the buttock area.
...and StairMaster to tone the buttock area.

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