The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) Edit

A big no no, of course, in the eyes of the law.

A boat maybe.

A boat?

A company that our clients can believe in.

A company that our clients can trust.

A few words for your son?

A former model and Miller Lite girl.

A friend's, camarade...

A greed fest,

A hundred Strattonites,

A lot of people are gonna be calling you,

A million belonged to me, held in phony accounts by my ratholes.

A non alcoholic beer. It's got no alcohol.

A pellet gun maybe?

A rich one.

A special idea.

A stripper of Slovenian origin

A wire. Mmm hmm.

A woman that wears $3,000 Armani suits.

A woman who spends

A year's salary right here.

Able to conquer the world,

About a month later,

About that account?

About the stock market and Wall Street,

About this Steve Madden IPO.

About whatever it is I did the night before.

Absolutely fucking not.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely, no question.

Actually, I got you a little present.

Actually, I was...

Actually, I'm really very...

Actually, the madness started on our very first day,

Aero... Aerotyne...

Aerotyne, yeah.

After a while it kind of fades away a little bit.

After all these years, huh?

After five minutes, you'll forget you even have it on.

After they left, I checked the apartment.

Agent Denham. This is Agent Hughes.

Ah, yes, my morning ritual.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah.

Alden Kupferberg, the Sea Otter,

All away.

All from pink sheet stock, boys!

All my girlfriend's jewelry is gone.

All of a sudden, one week, nobody had anything down there anymore.

All right, enough, enough.

All right, get off this fucking stage! Get out of here.

All right, get the fuck off my boat.

All right, honey?

All right, I want you all to focus for a second.

All right, tell me what happened. What happened?

All right, think, think. What else is there?

All right!

All right.

All right. Let's do 10.

All these people dependent on me.

All told, the weekend cost me 2 million bucks,

All very acidic above the shoulders mustard shit.

All you have to do is ask.

All you have to do today

All you need is a strategy.

ALL: (CHANTING) Fuck you!

ALL: (CHANTING) Wolfie! Wolfie! Wolfie!

ALL: I want to make some money.

ALL: One!

ALL: Scalp! Scalp! Scalp!

ALL: Yeah!

Along with Nicky Koskoff and Robbie Feinberg

Along with the rest of the world.

Also told me that you are a straight arrow.

Among

An institution since 1899, closed its doors.

An IPO is an initial public offering.

And $20 million stuck in a Swiss bank account.

And $20 million stuck in a Swiss bank account.

And a $40,000 gold fucking watch!

And a 170 foot yacht.

And actually do some work besides swiping

And all my friends were trying to fuck her, you know.

And all of Wall Street was begging to take his company public.

And already a money crazed little shit.

And any fines that I'd have to pay

And be in New York in three fucking business days!

And believe me, Kevin,

And blow some lines of baking powder?

And Brad's the guy I really wanted.

And by the way, John, our analysts indicate

And chiseled the name Stratton Oakmont

And Cuchon Airlines is the future of airlines.

And deal with the fucking golf course people!

And don't pick up your fucking head until 1:00.

And essentially, it means

And eviscerate your enemies.

And from now on,

And get back to you in a few minutes

And get back to you with my secretary

And get the fuck out of my office! You understand?

And get them so horny they'd be fucking each other.

And guess what?

And have them start selling Steve Madden.

And he also agrees to wear a wire.

And he did quit his job.

And he will, every single time.

And helped them recover millions of dollars

And here comes this jerk off sniffing around.

And here.

And his merry little band of brokers.

And huge chunks of Steve Madden are being sold, okay.

And I can change yours, too!

And I choose rich every fucking time.

And I go on vacation with him and his boyfriend. I love fags.

And I got a feeling you're gonna need it.

And I had it bugged

And I hope it happens.

And I lived in a place where everything was for sale.

And I love all of you from the bottom of my heart.

And I love all of you!

And I needed to be thinking straight.

And I plan on being one of the...

And I think they do dictate in this case,

And I wanna meet

And I want you to ram

And I will make you richer

And I'm not gonna get there by being wrong, Stanley.

And I'm not gonna let someone...

And I'm not talking about this.

And if anyone here thinks I'm superficial

And if it doesn't work for you,

And if you don't wanna get too personal,

And in 1982, the U S. Government Schedule 1'd them.

And in no time, I'll make them rich.

And in return,

And in the case of Aerotyne,

And in the case of the telephone,

And it makes you, in the words of my grandfather,

And it now sits at 16, he's all fucking happy.

And it wasn't just about the sex, either.

And it's not gonna make you poor.

And it's truly with a heavy heart

And just, like, you know, open the door and say,

And kick most of the profits back to...

And like get some of the girls to, you know,

And making cash hand over fist.

And moved Naomi into the apartment.

And my balls are fucking sweating,

And nobody can recall anything

And not in a Swiss jail is because of my friend. Okay?

And not only that, Donnie and I secretly owned

And once you have it all

And our case couldn't be stronger if we caught you

And pretty much lost all my motor skills.

And Robbie, who sold anything he could get his hands on.

And Rugrat gets the one dumb enough

And secure the deck.

And she grew up hot, you know. She fucking grew up hot.

And shit me right back out again.

And so if I... If I...

And speak the words that I have taught you.

And Stratton?

And summers in the Hamptons!

And talk to my wife about it.

And thanks to Donnie, we were taking his company public.

And that makes sense because we did spend too much money. But I said T&E.

And that person's gonna be pulling up right alongside you

And that's the thing.

And the air conditioning turned up so high

And The Bahamas Ocean Club, our castle.

And the first thing we needed was brokers.

And the stock goes down a couple points...

And the term is Grenada.

And the world's greatest sales trainer,

And then call me from a pay phone.

And then I end up being the schmuck

And then I said, Who do I know that likes ice cream?

And then precisely seven and one half minutes after that,

And then still function, still do your job?

And then there's a big target and we...

And then you'll know for sure

And then, there were these rumors.

And there was no way I was gonna make that flight sober.

And there's no secret to wealth creation.

And there's nobody stopping you from making millions.

And they have to fucking... Hello.

And they lock in.

And they're... I mean...

And to celebrate with our weekly act of debauchery,

And today you needed to clean the fish bowl? Today?

And told them what Nicholas had done.

And took you out at 32...

And until you pass your Series 7,

And was prescribed to stressed out housewives with sleep disorders.

And was trying to take advantage.

And we're looking at a few... Maybe a few broken dishes.

And weed.

And welcome to Stratton Oakmont.

And welcome to the Investor's Center.

And what do you do when you're making

And what'd I do, Kimmie?

And when she came to me and asked me for a job,

And who can consistently make you money.

And who're you gonna be sitting next to?

And whoever speaks first loses.

And why should they trust you? I mean, look at you.

And with this script, which is now your new harpoon,

And woke up Skylar? That was you!

And you as well. I see you've already met the village asshole.

And you got the beautiful girls there. It's wonderful.

And you had to wear a condom

And you just keep doing this, again and again and again.

And you know something else, Daddy?

And you know what I was just thinking, too?

And you know why that is?

And you know, you know what you can do, Jordy.

And you look at me. I swear I just noticed it.

And you ordered all the fucking sides.

And you should get a job at McDonald's.

And you take out every single dollar.

And you're still acting like an infant!

ANNOUNCER: The world of investing

Another name,

Another personal question, no need to answer...

Another situation. Another stock

Answer me.

Any food. Correct.

Anybody that needs the proper guidance.

Anybody who 'd ever known me

Anything odd about Mr...

Anyway, how's Stratton? That's more important.

Anyway, I don't know why that came to mind.

Anyway, I hired my dad, Max, to maintain order as the Enforcer.

Anyway, you know, this shoe is pretty cool.

Are what's known

Are you behind on your credit card bills?

Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck you.

Are you fucking kidding me? Lemmons?

Are you fucking serious right now?

Are you fucking serious? Right there?

Are you gonna say anything about that?

Are you out of your fucking mind? I don't...

Are you sure you guys don't want something to drink?

Are you Swiss Slovakian or Swiss Slovenian?

Are you trying to kiss me, bro?

Aren't you married?

Arncliffe International is on fire.

Artists like Steve come along once every decade.

As a Grenada.

As a sedative,

As always, the point is this.

As innocuous as a ringing telephone.

As like an in with her.

As the head of my own brokerage firm,

As the Mary Jane, but it's black leather.

As you can probably guess,

Assuming the account is under your name.

At 3:00 in the morning on their stupid helicopter

At every department store in North America right now.

At last.

At least I have a family, you crooked nose fuck!

At the Hamptons this weekend, you know.

At the person next to you. Go on.

At the right time and chose the right stock.

ATTORNEY: Alden. That's a nice name.

ATTORNEY: Francis Sortigi you called so many times

ATTORNEY: Gladys Carrera?

ATTORNEY: Gladys Carrera?

ATTORNEY: It was a long phone call.

ATTORNEY: Mr. Ming, thank you for coming in today.

Aunt Emma could never carry all this by herself.

Awaiting imminent patent approval

Babe, come on.

Baby, you know, you got real anger issues.

Baby! Baby, what happened?

Baddest motherfucker I have ever met.

Bail is set at $10 million.

Bang, bang, bang.

Barring me from Stratton,

Barring me from the securities industry,

Barry Kleinman's on the phone

Based on every technical factor out there, John,

Basically, you know, if the kid was retarded,

Beautiful beach out there.

Because all we care about is getting fucking rich.

Because at least as a rich man,

Because by the time you read about it in The Wall Street Journal,

Because he wouldn't rat Donnie out.

Because I can't keep track of your professions, honey.

Because I don't have shit from you.

Because I worked hard for it.

Because I'm very easy to talk to.

Because if I do decide to cooperate,

Because it's awesome.

Because it's awesome.

Because our clients are already answering the phone.

Because sometime in the not so distant future,

Because they said eventually...

Because you all deserve it.

Because, I mean, fuckety fuck fuck, Jordan,

Before business can be discussed.

Before I settled down for good.

Before there was fucking sunlight. You understand?

Before we know what's going on.

Believe it or not... Believe it or not though,

Believe me, we did.

Benihana.

Better food, better cars, better pussy.

Between the hours of 9:00 and 7:00.

Big fucking deal I look great.

Bitte, Hilfe!

Blah, blah, blah.

Blair Hollingsworth.

Blow the roof off this motherfucker!

Blue chip stocks exclusively.

BO: He's a Boy Scout. He thinks you're fucking Gordon Gekko.

Boom shocka locka!

Boom, snap, gone.

Born, in of all places,

BOTH: Ah.

BOTH: and I'm a Senior Vice President

Bottom line. Sorry.

Boy, Donnie really knew how to celebrate.

Brad did three months in jail for contempt

Brad, show them how it's done. Boom.

Brad, you're making this too fucking tight!

BRAD: Get the fuck out of here.

Brad!

Brad!

Brad!

Bring some of them chicks around here sometime, huh?

Brooklyn, across the Verrazano Bridge.

Bulls. Bears.

But a U.S. rathole would never get

But before you depart this room full of winners,

But can barely afford to pay your rent?

But for the life of me, I can't figure out why.

But he didn't go along with us.

But he said no, that he was out.

But I had eyes on me like never before.

But I need them to want to live like me, you get it?

But I promise they're really high quality.

But I say we stick with the loophole. Right? Okay?

But I think you like, like me. Like you...

But I want you to understand, we don't

But I'm hanging in there.

But I'm looking at your chin.

But if you drink enough,

But if you make your clients money at the same time,

But it gets even better, babe.

But it says here this guy will show his cock. Yeah.

But it's not like what you think, or whatever, you know.

But it's time.

But not before he rats out Brad's wife, Chantalle,

But now she wants fucking double D's!

But of all the drugs under God's blue heaven,

But of all the drugs under God's blue heaven,

But once they did...

But pretty soon someone figured out

But rich people don't buy penny stocks.

But she's dead now, sweetie.

But struggle every month just to pay your bills?

But the Duchess did have style.

But the point is this.

But the way I looked at it, their money was better off in my pocket.

But there are very few Swiss laws which apply to your practices.

But there's a big chance, right, if...

But they couldn't charge me.

But they're not gonna make anyone money though, right?

But this guy, my good friend,

But we gave him that opportunity.

But we got him into the market

But we have the house and we have a $33,000 profit.

But we were making more money than we knew what to do with.

But we'd get filthy fucking rich if our troops got behind it.

But what if they didn't sound like a bunch of jerk offs?

But what this trade will do is serve as...

But who the fuck wanted to live there?

But you and me, the brokers,

But you call the company's main line,

But you...

But you...

But, for example, what I wouldn't do is

But, you know, every time someone rises up in this world,

By 1:03, it was over $18.

By 4:00 p.m., the market had dropped 508 points.

By 8:30, I took a few more ludes

By an Indian doctor, that's dots, not feathers,

By becoming rich!

By dinner, I popped a few more

Bye bye.

Ca depend on what, exactly?

Ca depend?

Ca depend.

Calm the fuck down!

Came down from Fucksville to give me a pass!

Can be a jungle.

Can I finish eating first? I haven't eaten today.

Can I get this?

Can I give the guy a call?

Can we get a quick picture?

Can we get some ketchup, please?

Can we try 8,000, Kevin?

Can you believe this shit?

Can you bring me some ketchup? Okay?

Can you just get home? Hurry!

Can you say that again,

Can't be profitable for the both of us.

Can't imagine ever not enjoying getting fucked up.

Can't leave the house, you know?

Captain Ahab. From the fucking...

CAPTAIN TED: Hold On!

CAPTAIN TED: It's gonna be safe.

CAPTAIN TED: The waves are 20 feet high and building!

CAPTAIN TED: This is a fucking Mayday!

Captain Ted!

Captain Ted!

Captain Ted! Captain Ted, all right, look.

Captain who?

Carl, I think I got it figured out.

Cartage Corporation?

CHANTALLE: Welcome. (GIGGLING)

Chantalle's family and friends

Check the bottle!

Cheerio.

Chester Ming, the depraved Chinaman,

Chester, who sold tires

CHESTER: I'm gonna drop you, you faggot!

CHESTER: What's that got to do with anything?

Children's furniture.

Chop is fine. Trust me. Chop is fine.

Christened the elevator by getting a blowjob

CLIENT: Sorry, uh...

Cocaine and hookers, my friend.

Cocaine to wake me back up again and morphine, well,

Cocaine, pills.

Collateralized debt obligations?

Come here, baby.

Come here.

Come on, babe.

Come on, baby, come on.

Come on, baby.

Come on, baby. Come for me. Come for me, baby.

Come on, do something to calm me down. Please.

Come on, give me a kiss.

Come on, Jordan, think of a way to get up to her apartment.

Come on, stand up!

Come on, sweetheart.

Come on!

Come on! Let's go!

Come on.

Come on.

Communicate.

Correct. Yes, yes, yes.

Could I get a straw, please?

Cousin?

Crammed in next to you in a carload full of groceries

Cristy.

Cunt, cock, asshole. .

Currently pending against him

Dad, we had clients. The Pfizer clients.

Dad.

Daddy shouldn't waste his time.

Daddy's really sorry about what he said in the other room.

Damn it!

Danger at every turn.

Danielle Harrison, here,

Deal.

DENHAM: Breathe normally.

DENHAM: Hey, Jordan,

DENHAM: Hey, Jordan. Jordan.

DENHAM: Talk normally.

Diamond Donnie Azoff.

Did he? Answer me!

Did I hear that right? Were you trying to take a stab at Wall Street?

Did you drive your car tonight, Mr. Belfort?

Did you see that?

Did you try to get your broker's license at one time?

Did you? Did you come?

Did your fucking little faggot friend Rudy take my shit?

Didn't even graduate.

Didn't take long for people to start abusing ludes, of course.

Do anything illegal.

Do I... Do I jerk off?

Do me a favor?

Do not worry about it. I have the SEC under control.

Do you feel anything?

Do you guys not want to make money?

Do you hear me? Shut the fuck up!

Do you love her?

Do you really think that I don't know what you're up to?

Does Daddy get a kiss from both of his little girls, huh?

Does it go into probate or what?

Does that sound fucking awesome or what?

Does your girlfriend think you're a fucking worthless loser?

Don't fucking dare throw that

Don't fucking tell Susan. It's none of her business.

Don't get behind the wheel of the car.

Don't get involved. Go home to your wife.

Don't get out of your seats!

Don't just sit at home,

Don't leave one dollar inside the briefcase.

Don't talk on the motherfucking phone!

Don't tell me what you said. I heard what you said.

Don't worry about it. I told you,

Don't you Duchess me! (APOLOGIZING)

Don't you fucking Duchess me.

Don't you fucking touch me!

Done!

Done.

Donnie and I decided to double team her

Donnie and I were going out on our own.

Donnie and I were investing

Donnie Azoff.

Donnie couldn't drink water fast enough.

Donnie is out of control! He's on the other line

Donnie, Donnie, listen!

Donnie, this isn't funny. You gotta untie me, buddy.

Donnie, what the fuck are you doing?

Donnie, your little friend

DONNIE: (SLURRING) I was gonna give you 2 million.

DONNIE: Excuse me. Is that your car in the lot?

DONNIE: He's very nervous on planes, I'm sorry,

DONNIE: Hey, Paulie, what's up?

DONNIE: I thought they were like a myth.

DONNIE: Let's just not jump to conclusions

DONNIE: She's perfect.

DONNIE: They're gonna knock us on our fucking heads.

DONNIE: This is bullshit!

DONNIE: Troops are all here, everyone's all rallied, excited.

DONNIE: Uncle Donnie's here!

DONNIE: United States government wants to give me a subpoena?

DONNIE: What are you fucking coming at me for?

DONNIE: Yeah, Jordy, what's EJ Entertainment?

Donnie!

Donnie!

Donnie!

Donnie!

Donnie!

Donnie?

Donnie? Donnie?

Drop the case! Put your hands in the air!

Drown out my eyeballs.

Duchess, baby, come on.

Duh! Of course.

Earning shit money as I geared up to take my Series 7.

EMMA: Is he fucking hitting on me?

End of the day, you guys get fucking skinned alive financially.

Enough of this shit'll make you invincible.

Enter our new securities attorney, Manny Riskin.

Enter Rugrat.

Even in this market,

Even the big Wall Street firms were buying.

Even the places I didn't want it to.

Eventually everyone's gonna have to give information on this case.

Eventually taking her home to Long Island,

Eventually, Ben married her,

Ever been on one of these before?

Every 15 minutes, please.

Every 45 minutes calling the office, saying,

Every day, dozens of money crazed kids beat a path to my door.

Every decade, every goddamn century.

Every person you're on the phone with,

Every single guy in the office.

Every time I think about him, my blood boils.

Every time she went to Switzerland!

Everybody have a good week?

Everybody sit down. Put your hands

Everyone wants to get rich. Am I crazy?

Everyone's gonna suck you off!

Everything we were doing at Stratton.

Exactly what he's doing. Look at yourself.

Exactly! You go after real criminals, which

Exactly.

Exactly. Supply and demand, my friend.

Exactly. You could pay off your mortgage.

Excellent choice, Kevin.

Excellent choice!

Excuse me, excuse me, sir!

Excuse me.

Excuse me. I have to ask. Is that your real hair?

Expensive champagne and... We had to buy champagne.

Explains what?

Family man. Honey!

Family.

Fantastic! Well, that's good news!

Fasten your seat belt, sir.

Few broken dishes. (LAUGHS)

Fight back! Come on! Where you at? Where you at?

Figured this would help expedite the whole process, right?

Finally, there were the Pink Sheets. Skanks.

Finding companies to take public. IPOs.

Firefighters, teachers, FBI agents.

First I'd get up and fight with Naomi

First of all...

First we pitch 'em Disney, AT&T, IBM,

Five days a week, you just call me, feel free.

Five years ago, when I started Stratton Oakmont

For a smoking gun in that room...

For a very, very,

For his time in the can.

For me, I feel

For professionals, it's a...

For the Eastern District of New York.

For the next six hours, I came up with a list.

For those of you who don't know me, uh...

For work, what do you do?

For years, I've been telling you guys

Four fucking times, Kimmie! Four times.

Four hundred and fucking 30,000 fucking dollars in one fucking month!

Fourth floor.

Friends, enemies, business associates.

From a financial standpoint,

From a sales assistant.

From Fucksville, huh?

From my fucking sock drawer!

From the fucking Price Club!

Fuck Merrill Lynch. Fuck them.

Fuck that motherfucker!

Fuck the clients.

Fuck them!

Fuck them!

Fuck you, USA! Fuck you!

Fuck you, you fucking bitch!

Fuck you!

Fuck you! Fuck you!

Fuck you! I told you, you're not taking my fucking kids!

Fuck you.

Fuck, I didn't even want to bring it up. It's just...

Fuck, yeah!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck. Guys, act like we're working.

Fucked up!

Fucking bitch!

Fucking bitch! Piece of shit fucking whore!

Fucking brutal.

Fucking bullshit.

Fucking digits.

Fucking explain this shit to him!

Fucking heart attack!

Fucking miserable pricks, I know you can't afford them!

Fucking miserable pricks. (WHISTLES)

Fucking nut job.

Fucking Rugrat.

Fucking shit!

Fucking smoke crack with me, bro.

Fucking water at me. Don't you fucking dare.

Fucking whore!

Fugayzi, fugazi, it's a whazy, it's a woozy, it's...

Full cooperation. He provides us with a comprehensive list

Gentlemen, welcome

Get away from the window!

Get down on your knees! Get down on your knees!

Get down. (SCREAMS)

Get him

Get him off the phone!

Get it? Huh?

Get off me! I want a divorce.

Get off the fucking phone!

Get off the fucking phone! Idiot!

Get off the phone!

Get off the phone!

Get out of here. What's going on?

Get out of the fucking car!

Get out of the fucking way!

Get the baby!

Get the fuck off me!

Get the fuck out of here.

Get the fuck out of my house.

Get the fuck out!

Get the fuck out!

Get the fuck...

Get the hell out of here!

Get the ludes!

Get the ludes! Downstairs!

Get the shoes. Show them the shoes.

Get them to want to buy the stock.

Get those fucking ludes!

Get those fucking ludes!

Get your fucking hands off me!

Gets the most points.

Getting any pussy with that thing or what?

Getting ready to suck this guy off!

Give him a round of applause!

Give information about my friends.

Give me one for the nerves!

Give me that goddamn phone.

Give me that.

Give them a round of applause. Come on.

Give us a minute, huh, ladies?

Giving orders to Rugrat.

Go ahead and fuck me.

Go ahead, go ahead, what is it?

Go ahead.

Go fuck yourself!

Go fuck yourself! Give me the bag.

Go on, tell them.

Go play, Rocky. Go, go, go, go.

Go to a trading floor on Wall Street.

Go, go, go, go!

God damn it!

God knows you never have to work again.

God rest his soul, A shit ton of money.

God, help me. How do I fuck this girl?

Gooble gobble, one of us!

Gooble gobble, one of us.

Good job.

Good luck on that subway ride home

Good morning, Daddy.

Good morning, Nathan.

Good morning. They're business expenses. Relax.

Good to see you.

Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing!

Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing!

Good.

Good. Because that is what you are.

Got some pasta, shrimp, lobster.

Got some pasta, shrimp, lobster.

Got to put his mother into

Gotta pump those numbers up.

Granted, she passed away, unfortunately.

Grenada's very interesting because

GUARD: Belfort, on your feet.

Guys with sales experience.

Ha ha!

Halkidiki?

Hang up the phone. Tell him you'll call him back.

Hard to learn to control the anxiety sometimes, you know?

Hardworking people like you.

Has anybody fucking seen Rhonda?

Has Brad apologized yet?

Have some guts. Make a decision.

Have you ever heard of Grenada?

He actually went to law school.

He almost fucking tasered you.

He comes in all fucking loopy and fucked up, I swear to God

He didn't mean any of it.

He didn't want any part of us.

He ever get back to you about that, um...

He got locked up by...

He got picked up in some fucking shopping mall.

He is back in the ocean. Happy hunting.

He knew this Swiss banker from law school.

He must have thought we were still