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Mortdecai (2015) Mortdecai is a comedic action film released in 2015, directed by David Koepp. The movie revolves around

Mortdecai (2015)

Mortdecai is a comedic action film released in 2015, directed by David Koepp. The movie revolves around the eccentric character of Charlie Mortdecai, a debonair art dealer, brought to life by renowned actor Johnny Depp. Mortdecai embarks on a wild adventure as he searches for a stolen painting rumored to contain a secret code to a bank account filled with Nazi gold.

The star-studded cast includes Gwyneth Paltrow as Mortdecai's witty and glamorous wife, Johanna, and Ewan McGregor as Inspector Martland, the romantic rival entangled in their escapades. Other notable names such as Olivia Munn, Paul Bettany, and Jeff Goldblum also join the ensemble.

With its mix of slapstick humor, clever dialogue, and stylish visuals, Mortdecai offers a quirky and entertaining experience for viewers. The film's witty banter and outrageous situations keep the audience engaged from start to finish.

For those interested in immersing themselves in the world of Mortdecai, the movie's soundtrack is available to play and download here.

A 50 pound note.
A 50 pound note.
A 50 pound note.
A 50 pound note.
A beast... A beast...
A beast... A beast...
A beast... A beast...
A beast... A beast...
A bid from Lady Mortdecai, who seems to be
A bid from Lady Mortdecai, who seems to be
A bid from Lady Mortdecai, who seems to be
A bid from Lady Mortdecai, who seems to be
A bit of an acoustic nightmare.
A bit of an acoustic nightmare.
A bit of noise, sir!
A bit of noise, sir!
A bit of noise, sir!
A bit of noise, sir!
A bit.
A bit.
A bit.
A bit.
A bit.
A bit.
A bit.
A bit.
A bottle of Chardonnay?
A bottle of Chardonnay?
A bottle of Chardonnay?
A bottle of Chardonnay?
A cargo flight to Los Angeles,
A cargo flight to Los Angeles,
A cargo flight to Los Angeles,
A cargo flight to Los Angeles,
A chap called Bunny's
A chap called Bunny's
A chap called Bunny's
A chap called Bunny's
A child! She spawned a child!
A child! She spawned a child!
A child! She spawned a child!
A child! She spawned a child!
A client with a mild curiosity, that's all.
A client with a mild curiosity, that's all.
A complete regimental listing of
A complete regimental listing of
A complete regimental listing of
A complete regimental listing of
A discussion about three...
A discussion about three...
A discussion about three...
A discussion about three...
A fake? How do you know?
A fake? How do you know?
A fugitive from a home
A fugitive from a home
A fugitive from a home
A fugitive from a home
A gross amount of what he thought was my Taylor '31.
A gross amount of what he thought was my Taylor '31.
A horrible mischief.
A horrible mischief.
A horrible mischief.
A horrible mischief.
A lovely Sheridan offered by the Mortdecai estate.
A lovely Sheridan offered by the Mortdecai estate.
A lovely Sheridan offered by the Mortdecai estate.
A lovely Sheridan offered by the Mortdecai estate.
A magnificent Callow of about 1840,
A magnificent Callow of about 1840,
A magnificent Callow of about 1840,
A magnificent Callow of about 1840,
A man your age has no excuse
A man your age has no excuse
A mere tiff, old bean. Nothing more.
A mere tiff, old bean. Nothing more.
A mere tiff, old bean. Nothing more.
A mere tiff, old bean. Nothing more.
A mint julep, sir.
A mint julep, sir.
A mint julep, sir.
A mint julep, sir.
A moustache is rather like eating an egg without salt.
A moustache is rather like eating an egg without salt.
A moustache is rather like eating an egg without salt.
A moustache is rather like eating an egg without salt.
A pair of rather flashy Varleys
A pair of rather flashy Varleys
A pair of rather flashy Varleys
A pair of rather flashy Varleys
A permanent fixture at
A permanent fixture at
A permanent fixture at
A permanent fixture at
A polychrome James Bourne, rare,
A polychrome James Bourne, rare,
A polychrome James Bourne, rare,
A polychrome James Bourne, rare,
A proper send off.
A proper send off.
A proper send off.
A proper send off.
A quick aside about Jock.
A quick aside about Jock.
A rogue, perhaps, a scamp
A rogue, perhaps, a scamp
A rogue, perhaps, a scamp
A rogue, perhaps, a scamp
About my water.
About my water.
About my water.
About my water.
Actually, make that caviar.
Actually, make that caviar.
Actually, make that caviar.
Actually, make that caviar.
After a three year courtship,
After a three year courtship,
After a three year courtship,
After a three year courtship,
After an arduous crossing,
After an arduous crossing,
After an arduous crossing,
After an arduous crossing,
Ah, Jock. Dear, sweet, sperm heavy Jock.
Ah, Jock. Dear, sweet, sperm heavy Jock.
Ah, thank you.
Ah, thank you.
Ah, thank you.
Ah, thank you.
Ah, there it is.
Ah, there it is.
Ah, well done. Carry on.
Ah, well done. Carry on.
Ah, well done. Carry on.
Ah, well done. Carry on.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah! Hello, Spinoza, you handsome devil!
Ah! Hello, Spinoza, you handsome devil!
Ah. Oh. Ooh.
Ah. Oh. Ooh.
Ah. Oh. Ooh.
Ah. Oh. Ooh.
Ah...
Ah...
Ah...
Ah...
Ah...
Ah...
Ah...
Ah...
Ah...
Ah...
Ah...
Ah...
Ahh!
Ahh!
Ahh!
Ahh!
Ahh.
Ahh.
Alas,
Alas,
Alas,
Alas,
Alastair, what are you doing here?
Alastair, what are you doing here?
Alastair.
Alastair.
Alastair.
Alastair.
Alastair.
Alastair.
All right, he's unpleasant. What of him?
All right, he's unpleasant. What of him?
All right, he's unpleasant. What of him?
All right, he's unpleasant. What of him?
All right, Queen and Country,
All right, Queen and Country,
All right, Queen and Country,
All right, Queen and Country,
All right. That gives us six...
All right. That gives us six...
All right. That gives us six...
All right. That gives us six...
All right. That gives us six...
All right. That gives us six...
All right. There.
All right. There.
All right. There.
All right. There.
All the while, my thoughts were only of home.
All the while, my thoughts were only of home.
All the while, my thoughts were only of home.
All the while, my thoughts were only of home.
All this mess on your own, now, would it?
All this mess on your own, now, would it?
All this mess on your own, now, would it?
All this mess on your own, now, would it?
Already have, madam.
Already have, madam.
Although it is terribly vital work.
Although it is terribly vital work.
Although it is terribly vital work.
Although it is terribly vital work.
Am I interested? (STAMMERING) I'm wildly interested.
Am I interested? (STAMMERING) I'm wildly interested.
Am I interested? I'm wildly interested.
Am I interested? I'm wildly interested.
Am I? Where are we?
Am I? Where are we?
Am I? Where are we?
Am I? Where are we?
Ambassador's residence in Moscow.
Ambassador's residence in Moscow.
Ambassador's residence in Moscow.
Ambassador's residence in Moscow.
An accurate reproduction because
An accurate reproduction because
An accurate reproduction because
An accurate reproduction because
An admirable job stomping all over the place.
An admirable job stomping all over the place.
An admirable job stomping all over the place.
An admirable job stomping all over the place.
An arts dealer, an accomplished fencer,
An arts dealer, an accomplished fencer,
An arts dealer, an accomplished fencer,
An arts dealer, an accomplished fencer,
An essential part of every gentleman's education.
An essential part of every gentleman's education.
An exquisite invitation, Your Grace,
An exquisite invitation, Your Grace,
An exquisite invitation, Your Grace,
An exquisite invitation, Your Grace,
And 10 percent of the insurance money
And 10 percent of the insurance money
And 10 percent of the insurance money
And 10 percent of the insurance money
And a dead hag.
And a dead hag.
And a dead hag.
And a dead hag.
And a teensy bit curious about his nympho daughter.
And a teensy bit curious about his nympho daughter.
And a teensy bit curious about his nympho daughter.
And a teensy bit curious about his nympho daughter.
And allow me to get some sleep, man? Please! Please!
And allow me to get some sleep, man? Please! Please!
And allow me to get some sleep, man? Please! Please!
And allow me to get some sleep, man? Please! Please!
And arrived on the set of a pornographic film.
And arrived on the set of a pornographic film.
And arrived on the set of a pornographic film.
And arrived on the set of a pornographic film.
And as a gentleman, I should warn you
And as a gentleman, I should warn you
And as a gentleman, I should warn you
And as a gentleman, I should warn you
And back, are we?
And back, are we?
And became the stuff of legend.
And became the stuff of legend.
And by the way, did I mention
And by the way, did I mention
And by the way, did I mention
And by the way, did I mention
And calibrated movements of the Swiss watch type. What?
And calibrated movements of the Swiss watch type. What?
And calibrated movements of the Swiss watch type. What?
And calibrated movements of the Swiss watch type. What?
And discovered something underneath.
And discovered something underneath.
And discovered something underneath.
And discovered something underneath.
And effort into this endeavor.
And effort into this endeavor.
And effort into this endeavor.
And effort into this endeavor.
And for your information, I am holding up
And for your information, I am holding up
And for your information, I am holding up
And for your information, I am holding up
And I called Spinoza, and then he arranged for everything,
And I called Spinoza, and then he arranged for everything,
And I called Spinoza, and then he arranged for everything,
And I called Spinoza, and then he arranged for everything,
And I gave them to the authorities.
And I gave them to the authorities.
And I gave them to the authorities.
And I gave them to the authorities.
And I have had every intention of seeing it through.
And I have had every intention of seeing it through.
And I have had every intention of seeing it through.
And I have had every intention of seeing it through.
And I mean dizzyingly complex,
And I mean dizzyingly complex,
And I mean dizzyingly complex,
And I mean dizzyingly complex,
And I shan't be having dinner downstairs this evening.
And I shan't be having dinner downstairs this evening.
And I unwittingly smuggle it to Krampf.
And I unwittingly smuggle it to Krampf.
And I will have you know that some members
And I will have you know that some members
And I will have you know that some members
And I will have you know that some members
And I will have you two know that
And I will have you two know that
And I will have you two know that
And I will have you two know that
And I wondered...
And I wondered...
And I wondered...
And I wondered...
And I'm here, it's time for you and I to talk turkey.
And I'm here, it's time for you and I to talk turkey.
And I'm here, it's time for you and I to talk turkey.
And I'm here, it's time for you and I to talk turkey.
And I'm married and tired, you know.
And I'm married and tired, you know.
And I'm married and tired, you know.
And I'm married and tired, you know.
And I'm presented with a credit card.
And I'm presented with a credit card.
And I'm presented with a credit card.
And I'm presented with a credit card.
And if we try to sell it to Romanov,
And if we try to sell it to Romanov,
And if you're quick about it,
And if you're quick about it,
And if you're quick about it,
And if you're quick about it,
And in charge, thank you very much.
And in charge, thank you very much.
And in exchange, he gives me a wide berth to ply my craft.
And in exchange, he gives me a wide berth to ply my craft.
And in exchange, he gives me a wide berth to ply my craft.
And in exchange, he gives me a wide berth to ply my craft.
And is halfway across the Atlantic.
And is halfway across the Atlantic.
And it wasn't his tadger.
And it wasn't his tadger.
And it will have to be a fiendishly clever plan.
And it will have to be a fiendishly clever plan.
And it will have to be a fiendishly clever plan.
And it will have to be a fiendishly clever plan.
And leave Johanna to me.
And leave Johanna to me.
And leave Johanna to me.
And leave Johanna to me.
And money changed hands.
And money changed hands.
And money changed hands.
And money changed hands.
And myself sleeping alone.
And myself sleeping alone.
And myself sleeping alone.
And myself sleeping alone.
And not parade them under everyone's nose!
And not parade them under everyone's nose!
And not parade them under everyone's nose!
And not parade them under everyone's nose!
And now Bronwen is as stiff as my Uncle Richard's hatband.
And now Bronwen is as stiff as my Uncle Richard's hatband.
And now Bronwen is as stiff as my Uncle Richard's hatband.
And now Bronwen is as stiff as my Uncle Richard's hatband.
And now, moving on to Lot Six.
And now, moving on to Lot Six.
And now, moving on to Lot Six.
And now, moving on to Lot Six.
And physically assaulted my person.
And physically assaulted my person.
And physically assaulted my person.
And physically assaulted my person.
And poke around a bit.
And poke around a bit.
And poke around a bit.
And poke around a bit.
And poured himself
And poured himself
And poured himself
And poured himself
And prosecute at random.
And prosecute at random.
And protect my husband.
And protect my husband.
And protect my husband.
And protect my husband.
And retrieving a certain something in the process.
And retrieving a certain something in the process.
And retrieving a certain something in the process.
And retrieving a certain something in the process.
And see how you secret agent men run the world.
And see how you secret agent men run the world.
And see how you secret agent men run the world.
And see how you secret agent men run the world.
And she was, well, we were having
And she was, well, we were having
And she was, well, we were having
And she was, well, we were having
And ship off to America on credit.
And ship off to America on credit.
And ship off to America on credit.
And ship off to America on credit.
And so married... Oh!
And so married... Oh!
And so married... Oh!
And so married... Oh!
And started all that nasty business in Greece.
And started all that nasty business in Greece.
And started all that nasty business in Greece.
And started all that nasty business in Greece.
And takes the painting.
And takes the painting.
And that's because there's money involved.
And that's because there's money involved.
And that's because there's money involved.
And that's because there's money involved.
And that's why she got killed.
And that's why she got killed.
And that's why she got killed.
And that's why she got killed.
And the Ambassador's residence.
And the Ambassador's residence.
And the Ambassador's residence.
And the Ambassador's residence.
And the eyes and ears of the art world's underbelly.
And the eyes and ears of the art world's underbelly.
And the eyes and ears of the art world's underbelly.
And the eyes and ears of the art world's underbelly.
And the finest Edridge I have ever seen.
And the finest Edridge I have ever seen.
And the rumored possessor of the lost Goya.
And the rumored possessor of the lost Goya.
And the secret bank accounts along with it.
And the secret bank accounts along with it.
And the secret bank accounts along with it.
And the secret bank accounts along with it.
And the vase.
And the vase.
And the vase.
And the vase.
And there are rumors that he inscribed on it
And there are rumors that he inscribed on it
And there are rumors that he inscribed on it
And there are rumors that he inscribed on it
And there is a vast difference.
And there is a vast difference.
And therefore it's imperative that we devise a plan.
And therefore it's imperative that we devise a plan.
And therefore it's imperative that we devise a plan.
And therefore it's imperative that we devise a plan.
And they say she was dressed as a man at the time.
And they say she was dressed as a man at the time.
And they say she was dressed as a man at the time.
And they say she was dressed as a man at the time.
And this little bit of magic
And this little bit of magic
And this little bit of magic
And this little bit of magic
And unreservedly offer my deepest...
And unreservedly offer my deepest...
And unreservedly offer my deepest...
And unreservedly offer my deepest...
And vodka so ice cold you need gloves to handle it.
And vodka so ice cold you need gloves to handle it.
And vodka so ice cold you need gloves to handle it.
And vodka so ice cold you need gloves to handle it.
And watch every art world snob in town drool all over her.
And watch every art world snob in town drool all over her.
And we move on to Lot Four.
And we move on to Lot Four.
And we will be out a finder's fee.
And we will be out a finder's fee.
And we will be out a finder's fee.
And we will be out a finder's fee.
And we will find that painting if it is the last thing we do.
And we will find that painting if it is the last thing we do.
And we will find that painting if it is the last thing we do.
And we will find that painting if it is the last thing we do.
And what does a missing Goya
And what does a missing Goya
And what does a missing Goya
And what does a missing Goya
And what, pray tell, might you be doing
And what, pray tell, might you be doing
And what, pray tell, might you be doing
And what, pray tell, might you be doing
And work my greasy will upon you...
And work my greasy will upon you...
And work my greasy will upon you...
And work my greasy will upon you...
And yet we must find a way to pay
And yet we must find a way to pay
And yet we must find a way to pay
And yet we must find a way to pay
And you are?
And you are?
And you are?
And you are?
And you would like me to find it before he does?
And you would like me to find it before he does?
And you would like me to find it before he does?
And you would like me to find it before he does?
And your flight leaves... Ah, now.
And your flight leaves... Ah, now.
And your flight leaves... Ah, now. (CHUCKLES)
And your flight leaves... Ah, now. (CHUCKLES)
Anonymously, of course.
Anonymously, of course.
Anonymously, of course.
Anonymously, of course.
Any blame here should fall on me.
Any blame here should fall on me.
Anything will do, I thank you.
Anything will do, I thank you.
Apple of my eye.
Apple of my eye.
Apple of my eye.
Apple of my eye.
Are we all done at 30 million pounds?
Are we all done at 30 million pounds?
Are we all done at 30 million pounds?
Are we all done at 30 million pounds?
Are we all done at 900,000?
Are we all done at 900,000?
Are you all right in there, darling?
Are you all right in there, darling?
Are you all right in there, darling?
Are you all right in there, darling?
Are you coming back to bed?
Are you coming back to bed?
Are you coming back to bed?
Are you coming back to bed?
Are you not having a little something to drink?
Are you not having a little something to drink?
Are you not having a little something to drink?
Are you not having a little something to drink?
Are you quite finished buggering around?
Are you quite finished buggering around?
Are you quite finished with your barrage of insults?
Are you quite finished with your barrage of insults?
Are you quite finished with your barrage of insults?
Are you quite finished with your barrage of insults?
Are you quite finished with your barrage of insults?
Are you quite finished with your barrage of insults?
Are you suggesting that I go to the Colonies?
Are you suggesting that I go to the Colonies?
Are you suggesting that I go to the Colonies?
Are you suggesting that I go to the Colonies?
Aren't you going to introduce us?
Aren't you going to introduce us?
Aren't you going to introduce us?
Aren't you going to introduce us?
Art restoring is a nasty business.
Art restoring is a nasty business.
Art restoring is a nasty business.
Art restoring is a nasty business.
As a finder's fee.
As a finder's fee.
As it were?
As it were?
As it were?
As it were?
As you may well know, I am many things.
As you may well know, I am many things.
At least I have the good taste to hide my indiscretions
At least I have the good taste to hide my indiscretions
At least I have the good taste to hide my indiscretions
At least I have the good taste to hide my indiscretions
At least my focus at university wasn't plagiarism!
At least my focus at university wasn't plagiarism!
At least my focus at university wasn't plagiarism!
At least my focus at university wasn't plagiarism!
AUCTIONEER ON PA: Are we all done at 900,000?
AUCTIONEER ON PA: Are we all done at 900,000?
AUCTIONEER: Five hundred thousand.
AUCTIONEER: Five hundred thousand.
AUCTIONEER: Is that our final bid?
AUCTIONEER: Is that our final bid?
AUCTIONEER: Lot Five. Smiling Woman in a Chair.
AUCTIONEER: Lot Five. Smiling Woman in a Chair.
AUCTIONEER: Now, can we go to 500?
AUCTIONEER: Now, can we go to 500?
AUCTIONEER: Ten million pounds from Lord Mortdecai himself.
AUCTIONEER: Ten million pounds from Lord Mortdecai himself.
AUCTIONEER: Thank you, madam, 500,000.
AUCTIONEER: Thank you, madam, 500,000.
AUCTIONEER: Thirty five thousand pounds.
AUCTIONEER: Thirty five thousand pounds.
Autumn Master's Sale. We shall begin with Lot One.
Autumn Master's Sale. We shall begin with Lot One.
Autumn Master's Sale. We shall begin with Lot One.
Autumn Master's Sale. We shall begin with Lot One.
Back away from the painting.
Back away from the painting.
Back away from the painting.
Back away from the painting.
Back in their cars, please?
Back in their cars, please?
Back in their cars, please?
Back in their cars, please?
Bad news for you, Strago.
Bad news for you, Strago.
Bad news for you, Strago.
Bad news for you, Strago.
Balls.
Balls.
Barnyard Friends. A lovely Helen Allingham,
Barnyard Friends. A lovely Helen Allingham,
Basically, they involved debt.
Basically, they involved debt.
Basically, they involved debt.
Basically, they involved debt.
Because I have a question for you, old bean.
Because I have a question for you, old bean.
Because I have a question for you, old bean.
Because I have a question for you, old bean.
Because I want, I will have.
Because I want, I will have.
Because I want, I will have.
Because I want, I will have.
Because if Martland should get
Because if Martland should get
Because the assailant fired from here.
Because the assailant fired from here.
Because the assailant fired from here.
Because the assailant fired from here.
Because the original is hanging in the D'Orsay.
Because the original is hanging in the D'Orsay.
Because the original is hanging in the D'Orsay.
Because the original is hanging in the D'Orsay.
Been in tip top shape, don't you know?
Been in tip top shape, don't you know?
Behold this America, this new colossus,
Behold this America, this new colossus,
Behold this America, this new colossus,
Behold this America, this new colossus,
Besides being the finest garage man
Besides being the finest garage man
Better out than in. All right...
Better out than in. All right...
Better out than in. All right...
Better out than in. All right...
Beware the carafe on the top shelf.
Beware the carafe on the top shelf.
Beware the carafe on the top shelf.
Beware the carafe on the top shelf.
Bidding on her own painting.
Bidding on her own painting.
Bidding on her own painting.
Bidding on her own painting.
Bit of a moron, actually.
Bit of a moron, actually.
Bit of a moron, actually.
Bit of a moron, actually.
Bit of cheese to go with that?
Bit of cheese to go with that?
Bit redundant, really, as he's dead.
Bit redundant, really, as he's dead.
Bit redundant, really, as he's dead.
Bit redundant, really, as he's dead.
Bloody good show, Jock!
Bloody good show, Jock!
Bloody good show, Jock!
Bloody good show, Jock!
Bloody nuisance.
Bloody nuisance.
Bloody nuisance.
Bloody nuisance.
Boiled egg whites,
Boiled egg whites,
Boiled egg whites,
Boiled egg whites,
Bollocks.
Bollocks.
Bollocks.
Bollocks.
Bronwen Fellworthy, Oxford art restorer.
Bronwen Fellworthy, Oxford art restorer.
Bronwen Fellworthy, Oxford art restorer.
Bronwen Fellworthy, Oxford art restorer.
Bronwen has found the lost Goya.
Bronwen has found the lost Goya.
Bronwen has found the lost Goya.
Bronwen has found the lost Goya.
Bronwen lied from the start.
Bronwen lied from the start.
Bronwen lied from the start.
Bronwen lied from the start.
Bronwen makes a fake, and calls Krampf.
Bronwen makes a fake, and calls Krampf.
Bronwen?
Bronwen?
Bronwen?
Bronwen?
Bronwen's college?
Bronwen's college?
Bronwen's college?
Bronwen's college?
Bugger it. Oh, there he is.
Bugger it. Oh, there he is.
Bugger it. Oh, there he is.
Bugger it. Oh, there he is.
Bull's eye.
Bull's eye.
Bull's eye.
Bull's eye.
Bunny is a soldier in your unit?
Bunny is a soldier in your unit?
Bunny is a soldier in your unit?
Bunny is a soldier in your unit?
Bunny rolled it up in a carpet and didn't tell a soul.
Bunny rolled it up in a carpet and didn't tell a soul.
Bunny.
Bunny.
Bunny.
Bunny.
But
But
But
But
But
But
But first we must convince our buyers
But first we must convince our buyers
But first we must convince our buyers
But first we must convince our buyers
But for those of us trying to get a bit of rest
But for those of us trying to get a bit of rest
But for those of us trying to get a bit of rest
But for those of us trying to get a bit of rest
But I can't find him.
But I can't find him.
But I can't find him.
But I can't find him.
But I do believe the embassy is that way.
But I do believe the embassy is that way.
But I do believe the embassy is that way.
But I do believe the embassy is that way.
But I don't see what it has to do with me.
But I don't see what it has to do with me.
But I don't see what it has to do with me.
But I don't see what it has to do with me.
But I have always felt
But I have always felt
But I have always felt
But I have always felt
But I just couldn't do it.
But I just couldn't do it.
But I just couldn't do it.
But I just couldn't do it.
But I knew everything would be all right in the end.
But I knew everything would be all right in the end.
But I knew everything would be all right in the end.
But I knew everything would be all right in the end.
But I was hopeful my new moustache
But I was hopeful my new moustache
But I was hopeful my new moustache
But I was hopeful my new moustache
But I watched it burn.
But I watched it burn.
But I'm afraid I must decline.
But I'm afraid I must decline.
But I'm afraid I must decline.
But I'm afraid I must decline.
But if Strago is involved, well,
But if Strago is involved, well,
But if Strago is involved, well,
But if Strago is involved, well,
But instead it was stolen and secreted away.
But instead it was stolen and secreted away.
But instead it was stolen and secreted away.
But instead it was stolen and secreted away.
But it's already at Sedgwick's.
But it's already at Sedgwick's.
But it's already at Sedgwick's.
But it's already at Sedgwick's.
But never an outright mountebank.
But never an outright mountebank.
But never an outright mountebank.
But never an outright mountebank.
But now you're dangling off the end of it.
But now you're dangling off the end of it.
But now you're dangling off the end of it.
But now you're dangling off the end of it.
But she's so damned attractive.
But she's so damned attractive.
But Spinoza's already there.
But Spinoza's already there.
But there was mention of 30 million,
But there was mention of 30 million,
But there was mention of 30 million,
But there was mention of 30 million,
But we are not desperate.
But we are not desperate.
But we are not desperate.
But we are not desperate.
But what of the well known carrot?
But what of the well known carrot?
But what of the well known carrot?
But what of the well known carrot?
But what vexed him so
But what vexed him so
But what vexed him so
But what vexed him so
But why does everyone seem to think...
But why does everyone seem to think...
But you know that. You're testing me.
But you know that. You're testing me.
But you know that. You're testing me.
But you know that. You're testing me.
But you weren't! Oh!
But you weren't! Oh!
But you, a known trafficker of stolen art, well,
But you, a known trafficker of stolen art, well,
But you, a known trafficker of stolen art, well,
But you, a known trafficker of stolen art, well,
By growing that horrible moustache.
By growing that horrible moustache.
By myself?
By myself?
By the end of the month. What is today, the fifth!
By the end of the month. What is today, the fifth!
California? Oh, icky!
California? Oh, icky!
California? Oh, icky!
California? Oh, icky!
Can I have all Thames Valley police officers
Can I have all Thames Valley police officers
Can I have all Thames Valley police officers
Can I have all Thames Valley police officers
Can you forgive me?
Can you forgive me?
Can you forgive me?
Can you forgive me?
Can you imagine the two of us
Can you imagine the two of us
Can you see a resemblance?
Can you see a resemblance?
Can you see a resemblance?
Can you see a resemblance?
Can you think of a good reason
Can you think of a good reason
Can you think of a good reason
Can you think of a good reason
Captured Goering. First man in the room.
Captured Goering. First man in the room.
Captured Goering. First man in the room.
Captured Goering. First man in the room.
Charlie Mortdecai, you are on very dangerous ground!
Charlie Mortdecai, you are on very dangerous ground!
Charlie Mortdecai, you are on very dangerous ground!
Charlie Mortdecai, you are on very dangerous ground!
Charlie Mortdecai, you son of a bitch...
Charlie Mortdecai, you son of a bitch...
Charlie Mortdecai, you son of a bitch...
Charlie Mortdecai, you son of a bitch...
Charlie!
Charlie!
Charlie!
Charlie!
Charlie?
Charlie?
Charlie? Why are people achieving climax
Charlie? Why are people achieving climax
Charlie? Why are people achieving climax
Charlie? Why are people achieving climax
Chatter is he's found a dashedly clever way
Chatter is he's found a dashedly clever way
Chatter is he's found a dashedly clever way
Chatter is he's found a dashedly clever way
Cheap, leather encasement, just like on telly?
Cheap, leather encasement, just like on telly?
Checking in?
Checking in?
Checking in?
Checking in?
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Come again?
Come again?
Come again?
Come again?
Come on, let's go.
Come on, let's go.
Come on, let's go.
Come on, let's go.
Come on, sir.
Come on, sir.
Come on, sir.
Come on, sir.
Come on, you little bastards. Come out and get it.
Come on, you little bastards. Come out and get it.
Come on, you little bastards. Come out and get it.
Come on, you little bastards. Come out and get it.
Come, come. Let's not be rash.
Come, come. Let's not be rash.
Come, come. Let's not be rash.
Come, come. Let's not be rash.
Come, come. Let's not be rash.
Come, come. Let's not be rash.
COMMENTATOR 1:... Sheamus is able to do
COMMENTATOR 1:... Sheamus is able to do
COMMENTATOR 2: Here we go.
COMMENTATOR 2: Here we go.
Could you give me the gun, please?
Could you give me the gun, please?
Couldn't be what?
Couldn't be what?
Couldn't be what?
Couldn't be what?
Countless lives are at stake.
Countless lives are at stake.
Countless lives are at stake.
Countless lives are at stake.
Course you did, man,
Course you did, man,
Course, I'll just, uh... I'll shut the door.
Course, I'll just, uh... I'll shut the door.
Course, I'll just, uh... I'll shut the door.
Course, I'll just, uh... I'll shut the door.
Cover me, as it were?
Cover me, as it were?
Cover me, as it were?
Cover me, as it were?
Craved by the mighty,
Craved by the mighty,
Craved by the mighty,
Craved by the mighty,
Creates quite a market when a painting
Creates quite a market when a painting
Crikey, man! The farmer's daughter?
Crikey, man! The farmer's daughter?
Crikey, man! The farmer's daughter?
Crikey, man! The farmer's daughter?
Dad! What the hell are you doing?
Dad! What the hell are you doing?
Dad! What the hell are you doing?
Dad! What the hell are you doing?
Dance with me.
Dance with me.
Dance with me.
Dance with me.
Dance with me.
Dance with me.
Darling,
Darling,
Darling,
Darling,
Darling, please, you are killing me.
Darling, please, you are killing me.
Darling, they are in cahoots.
Darling, they are in cahoots.
Darling, they are in cahoots.
Darling, they are in cahoots.
Darling!
Darling!
Darling? Please?
Darling? Please?
Darling.
Darling.
Darling.
Darling.
Dash it all, I am resolved.
Dash it all, I am resolved.
Dash it all, I am resolved.
Dash it all, I am resolved.
Daughter Georgina.
Daughter Georgina.
Daughter Georgina.
Daughter Georgina.
Dear Alastair,
Dear Alastair,
Dear Alastair,
Dear Alastair,
Dear, sweet, heroic Jock.
Dear, sweet, heroic Jock.
Dear, sweet, simple Jock.
Dear, sweet, simple Jock.
Depicting two horses, an ass, and several cocks.
Depicting two horses, an ass, and several cocks.
Depicting two horses, an ass, and several cocks.
Depicting two horses, an ass, and several cocks.
Despite his man purse, Strago is very dangerous.
Despite his man purse, Strago is very dangerous.
Did she ever mention The Duchess of Wellington?
Did she ever mention The Duchess of Wellington?
Did she ever mention The Duchess of Wellington?
Did she ever mention The Duchess of Wellington?
Did you know her?
Did you know her?
Didn't take long for you to make a mess of things.
Didn't take long for you to make a mess of things.
Disguised as our Sheridan.
Disguised as our Sheridan.
Disguised as our Sheridan.
Disguised as our Sheridan.
Dmitri, please to fetch 12 volt
Dmitri, please to fetch 12 volt
Dmitri, please to fetch 12 volt
Dmitri, please to fetch 12 volt
Do have a look, eh?
Do have a look, eh?
Do have a look, eh? (CLICKS TONGUE)
Do have a look, eh? (CLICKS TONGUE)
Do I detect a slight crack in the marital armor?
Do I detect a slight crack in the marital armor?
Do I detect a slight crack in the marital armor?
Do I detect a slight crack in the marital armor?
Do I have 600? 600,000 pounds, ladies and gentlemen.
Do I have 600? 600,000 pounds, ladies and gentlemen.
Do inform him that that ship has sailed.
Do inform him that that ship has sailed.
Do inform him that that ship has sailed.
Do inform him that that ship has sailed.
Do inform him that that ship has sailed.
Do inform him that that ship has sailed.
Do it for Queen and Country.
Do it for Queen and Country.
Do it for Queen and Country.
Do it for Queen and Country.
Do Not Disturb sign, and a bulldozer.
Do Not Disturb sign, and a bulldozer.
Do Not Disturb sign, and a bulldozer.
Do Not Disturb sign, and a bulldozer.
Do what it takes to bring the painting back,
Do what it takes to bring the painting back,
Do what it takes to bring the painting back,
Do what it takes to bring the painting back,
Do you feel unsafe?
Do you feel unsafe?
Do you feel unsafe?
Do you feel unsafe?
Do you mean you are ready?
Do you mean you are ready?
Do you mean you are ready?
Do you mean you are ready?
Do you mind?
Do you mind?
Do you mind?
Do you mind?
Do you need help with your bags?
Do you need help with your bags?
Do you need help with your bags?
Do you need help with your bags?
Do you think I could keep it a secret?
Do you think I could keep it a secret?
Do you think I could keep it a secret?
Do you think I could keep it a secret?
Do you think it will be all right in the end?
Do you think it will be all right in the end?
Do you think that Bunny still has the painting now?
Do you think that Bunny still has the painting now?
Do you think that Bunny still has the painting now?
Do you think that Bunny still has the painting now?
Do you think that Jockie will stay on
Do you think that Jockie will stay on
Do you think the codes are really there?
Do you think the codes are really there?
Do you think the codes are really there?
Do you think the codes are really there?
Does it matter?
Does it matter?
Does it matter?
Does it matter?
Doesn't she look like my mother?
Doesn't she look like my mother?
Don't be daft. This isn't finished yet.
Don't be daft. This isn't finished yet.
Don't be daft. This isn't finished yet.
Don't be daft. This isn't finished yet.
Don't count.
Don't count.
Don't get up.
Don't get up.
Don't get up.
Don't get up.
Don't shoot, farmer!
Don't shoot, farmer!
Don't shoot, farmer!
Don't shoot, farmer!
Don't worry, sir. I'm all right.
Don't worry, sir. I'm all right.
Don't you feel the same? That you could share with me?
Don't you feel the same? That you could share with me?
Don't you feel the same? That you could share with me?
Don't you feel the same? That you could share with me?
Done to death with malice aforethought and so forth.
Done to death with malice aforethought and so forth.
Done to death with malice aforethought and so forth.
Done to death with malice aforethought and so forth.
Done!
Done!
Done.
Done.
Done.
Done.
Down the frog and toad road.
Down the frog and toad road.
Down the frog and toad road.
Down the frog and toad road.
Drop the gun!
Drop the gun!
Drop the gun!
Drop the gun!
During the party, we steal it while no one's looking.
During the party, we steal it while no one's looking.
During the War. Nazi bastards.
During the War. Nazi bastards.
During the War. Nazi bastards.
During the War. Nazi bastards.
Echo ey, don't you know?
Echo ey, don't you know?
Echo ey, don't you know?
Echo ey, don't you know?
Eight million in back taxes.
Eight million in back taxes.
Emil Strago.
Emil Strago.
Emil Strago.
Emil Strago.
EMIL: I had the painting in my hand.
EMIL: I had the painting in my hand.
EMIL: Twenty five and a half! 26 and a quarter!
EMIL: Twenty five and a half! 26 and a quarter!
Emil!
Emil!
Emil!
Emil!
Enough!
Enough!
Enough!
Enough!
Escape this nightmare posthaste
Escape this nightmare posthaste
Escape this nightmare posthaste
Escape this nightmare posthaste
Even my horsey picture was on the block.
Even my horsey picture was on the block.
Even my horsey picture was on the block.
Even my horsey picture was on the block.
Every bone in my body,
Every bone in my body,
Every bone in my body,
Every bone in my body,
Every cashew in the Kingdom shall sleep safely.
Every cashew in the Kingdom shall sleep safely.
Every cashew in the Kingdom shall sleep safely.
Every cashew in the Kingdom shall sleep safely.
Every man should have a Jock, don't you think?
Every man should have a Jock, don't you think?
Every man should have a Jock, don't you think?
Every man should have a Jock, don't you think?
Every Mortdecai man before me had the same. Why can't I?
Every Mortdecai man before me had the same. Why can't I?
Every Mortdecai man before me had the same. Why can't I?
Every Mortdecai man before me had the same. Why can't I?
Every Mortdecai man before me has had one.
Every Mortdecai man before me has had one.
Every Mortdecai man before me has had one.
Every Mortdecai man before me has had one.
Everyone knows you're broke.
Everyone knows you're broke.
Everything here makes me think of you.
Everything here makes me think of you.
Everything here makes me think of you.
Everything here makes me think of you.
Except one.
Except one.
Except one.
Except one.
Excuse me. This is a crime scene.
Excuse me. This is a crime scene.
Excuse me. This is a crime scene.
Excuse me. This is a crime scene.
Fair shot with most weapons.
Fair shot with most weapons.
Fair warning at 900,000 pounds
Fair warning at 900,000 pounds
Falling in love with your own spouse, isn't it?
Falling in love with your own spouse, isn't it?
Falling in love with your own spouse, isn't it?
Falling in love with your own spouse, isn't it?
Fang wants finger.
Fang wants finger.
Fang wants finger.
Fang wants finger.
Feel? Oh.
Feel? Oh.
Feel? Oh.
Feel? Oh.
Fernand Just Quignon's Lavender Field.
Fernand Just Quignon's Lavender Field.
Fernand Just Quignon's Lavender Field.
Fernand Just Quignon's Lavender Field.
Finally!
Finally!
Finally!
Finally!
Find out if he's got that painting.
Find out if he's got that painting.
Find, you said.
Find, you said.
Find, you said.
Find, you said.
Finger pointing down. Ring.
Finger pointing down. Ring.
Finger pointing down. Ring.
Finger pointing down. Ring.
First thing we're doing is selling off that Sheridan.
First thing we're doing is selling off that Sheridan.
First thing we're doing is selling off that Sheridan.
First thing we're doing is selling off that Sheridan.
Fishing tomorrow, you know. Hate it. Sit.
Fishing tomorrow, you know. Hate it. Sit.
Fishing tomorrow, you know. Hate it. Sit.
Fishing tomorrow, you know. Hate it. Sit.
Fishing tomorrow's been canceled.
Fishing tomorrow's been canceled.
Five hundred thousand.
Five hundred thousand.
Five hundred thousand.
Five hundred thousand.
Five hundred thousand.
Five hundred thousand.
Focus, man! There are but five days to insolvency.
Focus, man! There are but five days to insolvency.
Focus, man! There are but five days to insolvency.
Focus, man! There are but five days to insolvency.
For 17 years,
For 17 years,
For 200 years, the painting was sought by collectors,
For 200 years, the painting was sought by collectors,
For 200 years, the painting was sought by collectors,
For 200 years, the painting was sought by collectors,
For alcoholic music hall artistes.
For alcoholic music hall artistes.
For alcoholic music hall artistes.
For alcoholic music hall artistes.
For England!
For England!
For I had filled it with an invalid port
For I had filled it with an invalid port
For looking or behaving like
For looking or behaving like
For mustachioed men such as I!
For mustachioed men such as I!
For mustachioed men such as I!
For mustachioed men such as I!
For you, there is nothing I would not do.
For you, there is nothing I would not do.
For you, there is nothing I would not do.
For you, there is nothing I would not do.
For, you know,
For, you know,
For, you know,
For, you know,
For, you know,
For, you know,
Forgive me, Vladimir.
Forgive me, Vladimir.
Forgive me, Vladimir.
Forgive me, Vladimir.
Forty five, thank you, sir. 45, 50, back on the...
Forty five, thank you, sir. 45, 50, back on the...
Forty thousand pounds? 40,000? 45, isn't it?
Forty thousand pounds? 40,000? 45, isn't it?
Fought in Senegal. An expert in special warfare.
Fought in Senegal. An expert in special warfare.
Fought in Senegal. An expert in special warfare.
Fought in Senegal. An expert in special warfare.
Four days, sir.
Four days, sir.
Four days, sir.
Four days, sir.
Four days, sir.
Four days, sir.
From his last period,
From his last period,
From his last period,
From his last period,
From Sir Graham.
From Sir Graham.
From Sir Graham.
From Sir Graham.
From which I may not well return.
From which I may not well return.
From which I may not well return.
From which I may not well return.
Fundamentalist, revolutionary, trained in Syria,
Fundamentalist, revolutionary, trained in Syria,
Fundamentalist, revolutionary, trained in Syria,
Fundamentalist, revolutionary, trained in Syria,
GARDENER: I've been helpin' out Miss Fellworthy
GARDENER: I've been helpin' out Miss Fellworthy
Garnished by Her Majesty's government
Garnished by Her Majesty's government
Garnished by Her Majesty's government
Garnished by Her Majesty's government
Georgina finds out about it and tells Emil, who goes to
Georgina finds out about it and tells Emil, who goes to
Georgina finds out about it and tells Emil, who goes to
Georgina finds out about it and tells Emil, who goes to
GEORGINA: Don't count.
GEORGINA: Don't count.
Get back behind the tape!
Get back behind the tape!
Get back behind the tape!
Get back behind the tape!
Get in the car, sir!
Get in the car, sir!
Get in the car, sir!
Get in the car, sir!
Get in.
Get in.
Get in.
Get in.
Get on that ladder!
Get on that ladder!
Get the blowtorch.
Get the blowtorch.
Get the blowtorch.
Get the blowtorch.
Get your head down, sir.
Get your head down, sir.
Gets interesting, you see.
Gets interesting, you see.
Gets interesting, you see.
Gets interesting, you see.
Getting our hands on that blasted painting.
Getting our hands on that blasted painting.
Getting our hands on that blasted painting.
Getting our hands on that blasted painting.
Give me the keys. Keys to the Rolls.
Give me the keys. Keys to the Rolls.
Give me the keys. Keys to the Rolls.
Give me the keys. Keys to the Rolls.
Give me the painting!
Give me the painting!
Give me the painting!
Give me the painting!
Give me the painting.
Give me the painting.
Give me the painting.
Give me the painting.
Give me the painting.
Give me the painting.
Give me the painting.
Give me the painting.
Go to America and see Krampf.
Go to America and see Krampf.
Go to America and see Krampf.
Go to America and see Krampf.
Go upstairs and freshen up. You smell like a horse!
Go upstairs and freshen up. You smell like a horse!
God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God...
God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God...
God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God...
God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God...
God.
God.
God.
God.
Goin' on five years now.
Goin' on five years now.
Going on to Lot Seven. Colonel Blucher
Going on to Lot Seven. Colonel Blucher
Going on to Lot Seven. Colonel Blucher
Going on to Lot Seven. Colonel Blucher
Golly, that was a big one!
Golly, that was a big one!
Golly, that was a big one! (CHUCKLES)
Golly, that was a big one! (CHUCKLES)
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
Good God, Jock! Put that thing away, man!
Good God, Jock! Put that thing away, man!
Good God, man!
Good God, man!
Good God, man!
Good God, man!
Good Lord! It couldn't be!
Good Lord! It couldn't be!
Good luck!
Good luck!
Good luck.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Good show, Martland!
Good show, Martland!
Good show, Martland!
Good show, Martland!
Goodness, that's awkward.
Goodness, that's awkward.
Goodness, that's awkward.
Goodness, that's awkward.
Goody. Every subject of the Crown and
Goody. Every subject of the Crown and
Goya was commissioned by Charles IV of Spain
Goya was commissioned by Charles IV of Spain
Gruyere, chocolate, and fine wines.
Gruyere, chocolate, and fine wines.
Gruyere, chocolate, and fine wines.
Gruyere, chocolate, and fine wines.
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
Ha! Foreigner!
Ha! Foreigner!
Ha! Foreigner!
Ha! Foreigner!
Had to speak to the water bailiff
Had to speak to the water bailiff
Had to speak to the water bailiff
Had to speak to the water bailiff
Handling, and transfer taxes,
Handling, and transfer taxes,
Handling, and transfer taxes,
Handling, and transfer taxes,
Hang on a tic.
Hang on a tic.
Hang on a tic.
Hang on a tic.
Hang on to me.
Hang on to me.
Hang on to me.
Hang on to me.
Hang on, sir!
Hang on, sir!
Hard times, old boy?
Hard times, old boy?
Hard times, old boy?
Hard times, old boy?
Has he got the painting yet?
Has he got the painting yet?
Have me.
Have me.
Have to do with national security?
Have to do with national security?
Have to do with national security?
Have to do with national security?
Have to ring him, don't you, sir?
Have to ring him, don't you, sir?
Have we taken a wrong turn and arrived
Have we taken a wrong turn and arrived
Have we taken a wrong turn and arrived
Have we taken a wrong turn and arrived
Have you heard the expression, Open your balls?
Have you heard the expression, Open your balls?
Have you heard the expression, Open your balls?
Have you heard the expression, Open your balls?
Have you looked under your couch?
Have you looked under your couch?
Have you looked under your couch?
Have you looked under your couch?
Have you lost your bearings, man?
Have you lost your bearings, man?
Have you lost your bearings, man?
Have you lost your bearings, man?
Haven't the foggiest why it took her so long.
Haven't the foggiest why it took her so long.
Haven't the foggiest why it took her so long.
Haven't the foggiest why it took her so long.
Having heard of our financial distress,
Having heard of our financial distress,
He also maintains an enviable rate
He also maintains an enviable rate
He also maintains an enviable rate
He also maintains an enviable rate
He boffs Emil on the bean
He boffs Emil on the bean
He boffs Emil on the bean
He boffs Emil on the bean
He finally worked up the courage
He finally worked up the courage
He finally worked up the courage
He finally worked up the courage
He is also desperately in love with my wife.
He is also desperately in love with my wife.
He is the filthy underside.
He is the filthy underside.
He is?
He is?
He is?
He is?
He reached underneath for the big decanter,
He reached underneath for the big decanter,
He reached underneath for the big decanter,
He reached underneath for the big decanter,
He seems to think that I have the painting.
He seems to think that I have the painting.
He seems to think that I have the painting.
He seems to think that I have the painting.
He was trying to show me the real painting.
He was trying to show me the real painting.
He will kill us and simply take it instead.
He will kill us and simply take it instead.
He will kill us and simply take it instead.
He will kill us and simply take it instead.
He will unleash his unpleasantness
He will unleash his unpleasantness
He will unleash his unpleasantness
He will unleash his unpleasantness
He would destroy a magnificent work of art.
He would destroy a magnificent work of art.
He would destroy a magnificent work of art.
He would destroy a magnificent work of art.
He's linked to a number of
He's linked to a number of
He's linked to a number of
He's linked to a number of
He's not here, mate. He sent me.
He's not here, mate. He sent me.
He's not here, mate. He sent me.
He's not here, mate. He sent me.
He's on his way home.
He's on his way home.
He's on his way home.
He's on his way home.
He's trained and sexually frustrated.
He's trained and sexually frustrated.
He's trained and sexually frustrated.
He's trained and sexually frustrated.
Head toward the bike.
Head toward the bike.
Head toward the bike.
Head toward the bike.
Heavens, no. You needn't worry yourself.
Heavens, no. You needn't worry yourself.
Heavens, no. You needn't worry yourself.
Heavens, no. You needn't worry yourself.
Hello, American?
Hello, American?
Hello, American?
Hello, American?
Hello, Johanna. We've found him.
Hello, Johanna. We've found him.
Hello, Johanna. We've found him.
Hello, Johanna. We've found him.
Hello, Sir Graham, you old member.
Hello, Sir Graham, you old member.
Hello, Vladimir. So good to see you out and about.
Hello, Vladimir. So good to see you out and about.
Hello, Vladimir. So good to see you out and about.
Hello, Vladimir. So good to see you out and about.
Hello! I'm outside.
Hello! I'm outside.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello? Hello?
Hello? Hello?
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello...
Hello...
Hello...
Hello...
Help me find that painting,
Help me find that painting,
Her gardener gave me your name,
Her gardener gave me your name,
Her gardener gave me your name,
Her gardener gave me your name,
Her Lady Mortdecai to see you, Your Grace.
Her Lady Mortdecai to see you, Your Grace.
Her Lady Mortdecai to see you, Your Grace.
Her Lady Mortdecai to see you, Your Grace.
Her lover was no help.
Her lover was no help.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
High tension car battery.
High tension car battery.
High tension car battery.
High tension car battery.
His grubby hands on that painting,
His grubby hands on that painting,
His grubby hands on that painting,
His grubby hands on that painting,
Hmm?
Hmm?
Hmm?
Hmm?
Hmm?
Hmm?
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hold it.
Hold it.
Hold. Hold.
Hold. Hold.
Holding a dead man's Goya.
Holding a dead man's Goya.
Hopeless.
Hopeless.
Horrible composition.
Horrible composition.
Horrible composition.
Horrible composition.
How 'bout some finger sandwiches?
How 'bout some finger sandwiches?
How are things at home?
How are things at home?
How are things at home?
How are things at home?
How awful.
How awful.
How awful.
How awful.
How do you know such things?
How do you know such things?
How do you know such things?
How do you know such things?
How do you know?
How do you know?
How do you think this makes me feel, man?
How do you think this makes me feel, man?
How the fuck should I know?
How the fuck should I know?
How very kind.
How very kind.
How very kind.
How very kind.
How very kind.
How very kind.
However,
However,
However, I myself do not swing that...
However, I myself do not swing that...
However, I myself do not swing that...
However, I myself do not swing that...
However, I never went to Eton where buggery is rampant.
However, I never went to Eton where buggery is rampant.
However, I never went to Eton where buggery is rampant.
However, I never went to Eton where buggery is rampant.
However...
However...
However...
However...
Huh. Ghastly affair.
Huh. Ghastly affair.
Humiliated, she ordered the painting to be burned.
Humiliated, she ordered the painting to be burned.
Humiliated, she ordered the painting to be burned.
Humiliated, she ordered the painting to be burned.
Hundreds and hundreds of millions,
Hundreds and hundreds of millions,
Hundreds and hundreds of millions,
Hundreds and hundreds of millions,
I admit nothing!
I admit nothing!
I admit nothing!
I admit nothing!
I admit nothing!
I admit nothing!
I am a drunk,
I am a drunk,
I am a drunk,
I am a drunk,
I am a man of few words.
I am a man of few words.
I am afraid you are barking up the wrong Englishman, comrade.
I am afraid you are barking up the wrong Englishman, comrade.
I am all right.
I am all right.
I am all right.
I am all right.
I am embarking on a very dangerous escapade
I am embarking on a very dangerous escapade
I am embarking on a very dangerous escapade
I am embarking on a very dangerous escapade
I am Lord Charlie Mortdecai,
I am Lord Charlie Mortdecai,
I am Lord Charlie Mortdecai,
I am Lord Charlie Mortdecai,
I am loved and respected by all who know me...
I am loved and respected by all who know me...
I am loved and respected by all who know me...
I am loved and respected by all who know me...
I am Mortdecai, Lord of Silverdale.
I am Mortdecai, Lord of Silverdale.
I am Mortdecai, Lord of Silverdale.
I am Mortdecai, Lord of Silverdale.
I am not the one entertaining at all hours
I am not the one entertaining at all hours
I am so very proud of you.
I am so very proud of you.
I am so very proud of you.
I am so very proud of you.
I am sure that we will come up with the necessary funds
I am sure that we will come up with the necessary funds
I am sure that we will come up with the necessary funds
I am sure that we will come up with the necessary funds
I am sure that you will agree
I am sure that you will agree
I am sure that you will agree
I am sure that you will agree
I am very sorry. I simply don't know.
I am very sorry. I simply don't know.
I am very sorry. I simply don't know.
I am very sorry. I simply don't know.
I beg you, darling, please.
I beg you, darling, please.
I beg you, darling, please.
I beg you, darling, please.
I believe a finger would be fair. Don't you?
I believe a finger would be fair. Don't you?
I believe a finger would be fair. Don't you?
I believe a finger would be fair. Don't you?
I believe he still owes me a finger.
I believe he still owes me a finger.
I believe he still owes me a finger.
I believe he still owes me a finger.
I believe I've just shot Jock.
I believe I've just shot Jock.
I believe I've just shot Jock.
I believe I've just shot Jock.
I believe she may be in play.
I believe she may be in play.
I can safely say you are correct.
I can safely say you are correct.
I can't, my duck. Not at this juncture.
I can't, my duck. Not at this juncture.
I could declare to the heavens,
I could declare to the heavens,
I could park outside for the night.
I could park outside for the night.
I couldn't help overhearing
I couldn't help overhearing
I couldn't say, sir!
I couldn't say, sir!
I couldn't say, sir!
I couldn't say, sir!
I couldn't say, sir.
I couldn't say, sir.
I couldn't say, sir.
I couldn't say, sir.
I deeply, deeply love
I deeply, deeply love
I do beg your pardon.
I do beg your pardon.
I do beg your pardon.
I do beg your pardon.
I do believe it was Maggie Thatcher
I do believe it was Maggie Thatcher
I do believe it was Maggie Thatcher
I do believe it was Maggie Thatcher
I do believe Jock has informed you
I do believe Jock has informed you
I do believe Jock has informed you
I do believe Jock has informed you
I do have the slightest of queries.
I do have the slightest of queries.
I do have the slightest of queries.
I do have the slightest of queries.
I do hope Romanov doesn't come down
I do hope Romanov doesn't come down
I do hope Romanov doesn't come down
I do hope Romanov doesn't come down
I do recall a vague memory of her having once,
I do recall a vague memory of her having once,
I do recall a vague memory of her having once,
I do recall a vague memory of her having once,
I do remember that there was an etching
I do remember that there was an etching
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't like it, I don't like it, I don't like it!
I don't like it, I don't like it, I don't like it!
I don't like it, I don't like it, I don't like it!
I don't like it, I don't like it, I don't like it!
I don't like it!
I don't like it!
I don't like it!
I don't like it!
I don't like it!
I don't like it!
I don't like to blunt my senses.
I don't like to blunt my senses.
I don't like to blunt my senses.
I don't like to blunt my senses.
I dunno, sir.
I dunno, sir.
I eschew discomfort?
I eschew discomfort?
I eschew discomfort?
I eschew discomfort?
I feel as though we've made a wrong turn
I feel as though we've made a wrong turn
I feel simply awful, man, but I must get to the auction.
I feel simply awful, man, but I must get to the auction.
I feel simply awful, man, but I must get to the auction.
I feel simply awful, man, but I must get to the auction.
I feel that I could share anything with you.
I feel that I could share anything with you.
I feel that I could share anything with you.
I feel that I could share anything with you.
I followed you.
I followed you.
I found her here, sprawled over the table,
I found her here, sprawled over the table,
I found her here, sprawled over the table,
I found her here, sprawled over the table,
I go, I go, I go!
I go, I go, I go!
I had no idea I was so deep in Her Majesty's hole.
I had no idea I was so deep in Her Majesty's hole.
I had no idea I was so deep in Her Majesty's hole.
I had no idea I was so deep in Her Majesty's hole.
I had the painting in my hand.
I had the painting in my hand.
I have a fucking manservant.
I have a fucking manservant.
I have a fucking manservant.
I have a fucking manservant.
I have already been circumcised.
I have already been circumcised.
I have come to carry you off to the burning desert,
I have come to carry you off to the burning desert,
I have come to carry you off to the burning desert,
I have come to carry you off to the burning desert,
I have discovered
I have discovered
I have discovered
I have discovered
I have me own apartment!
I have me own apartment!
I have me own apartment!
I have me own apartment!
I have never been so...
I have never been so...
I have no idea.
I have no idea.
I have no idea.
I have no idea.
I have put no inconsiderable thought
I have put no inconsiderable thought
I have put no inconsiderable thought
I have put no inconsiderable thought
I have things firmly in hand.
I have things firmly in hand.
I have things firmly in hand.
I have things firmly in hand.
I have things firmly in hand.
I have things firmly in hand.
I hope you'll stay with me tonight. I'm throwing a party.
I hope you'll stay with me tonight. I'm throwing a party.
I hope you'll stay with me tonight. I'm throwing a party.
I hope you'll stay with me tonight. I'm throwing a party.
I know this building like the back of my hand.
I know this building like the back of my hand.
I know this building like the back of my hand.
I know this building like the back of my hand.
I know, darling.
I know, darling.
I know, darling.
I know, darling.
I may have (CLEARS THROAT) mentioned Bronwen
I may have (CLEARS THROAT) mentioned Bronwen
I may have mentioned Bronwen
I may have mentioned Bronwen
I mean...
I mean...
I mean... (MUMBLES)
I mean... (MUMBLES)
I met a beast...
I met a beast...
I met a beast...
I met a beast...
I must say.
I must say.
I needed something bold, distinctive.
I needed something bold, distinctive.
I needed something bold, distinctive.
I needed something bold, distinctive.
I never met your mother.
I never met your mother.
I never met your mother.
I never met your mother.
I nicked one of their passkeys.
I nicked one of their passkeys.
I nicked one of their passkeys.
I nicked one of their passkeys.
I only gave her the once over.
I only gave her the once over.
I only gave her the once over.
I only gave her the once over.
I paid three million for that tapestry,
I paid three million for that tapestry,
I pursued this painting. You know why?
I pursued this painting. You know why?
I pursued this painting. You know why?
I pursued this painting. You know why?
I really can't say.
I really can't say.
I really did.
I really did.
I really did.
I really did.
I really wouldn't, you know,
I really wouldn't, you know,
I recounted the sordid tale as best I could...
I recounted the sordid tale as best I could...
I say, old bean!
I say, old bean!
I say, Sir Graham, I wonder,
I say, Sir Graham, I wonder,
I see no obstacle to such a course.
I see no obstacle to such a course.
I see no obstacle to such a course.
I see no obstacle to such a course.
I see that you have been schooled
I see that you have been schooled
I see that you have been schooled
I see that you have been schooled
I see you've put your Sheridan up
I see you've put your Sheridan up
I see you've put your Sheridan up
I see you've put your Sheridan up
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I shall need 30 seconds to make the switch
I shall need 30 seconds to make the switch
I shall need 30 seconds to make the switch
I shall need 30 seconds to make the switch
I shall need a moment to think this through, I'm afraid.
I shall need a moment to think this through, I'm afraid.
I shall need a moment to think this through, I'm afraid.
I shall need a moment to think this through, I'm afraid.
I shall secure the perimeter.
I shall secure the perimeter.
I shall secure the perimeter.
I shall secure the perimeter.
I shan't! What does that even mean?
I shan't! What does that even mean?
I should be very pleased if you would keep it.
I should be very pleased if you would keep it.
I should be very pleased if you would keep it.
I should be very pleased if you would keep it.
I should like to request a bucket of ice,
I should like to request a bucket of ice,
I should like to ring my wife because
I should like to ring my wife because
I should like to ring my wife because
I should like to ring my wife because
I should like to see her studio immediately.
I should like to see her studio immediately.
I should probably mention
I should probably mention
I should probably mention
I should probably mention
I should think the special one, Jock.
I should think the special one, Jock.
I should think the special one, Jock.
I should think the special one, Jock.
I simply cannot get my head around that image.
I simply cannot get my head around that image.
I simply cannot get my head around that image.
I simply cannot get my head around that image.
I so wish you had been there.
I so wish you had been there.
I so wish you had been there.
I so wish you had been there.
I sunk into an uneasy slumber,
I sunk into an uneasy slumber,
I sunk into an uneasy slumber,
I sunk into an uneasy slumber,
I suppose that we will have to open the house to tours.
I suppose that we will have to open the house to tours.
I suppose that we will have to open the house to tours.
I suppose that we will have to open the house to tours.
I suspect I may need to redecorate.
I suspect I may need to redecorate.
I swallowed it.
I swallowed it.
I think I'll keep the money.
I think I'll keep the money.
I think I'll keep the money.
I think I'll keep the money.
I think this woman has need of a chiropractor.
I think this woman has need of a chiropractor.
I think we both know that there are.
I think we both know that there are.
I thought that was you.
I thought that was you.
I too am capable of being desirable
I too am capable of being desirable
I too am capable of being desirable
I too am capable of being desirable
I tried desperately to be unfaithful to you,
I tried desperately to be unfaithful to you,
I trust that you have, um, brought the treasuries?
I trust that you have, um, brought the treasuries?
I trust that you have, um, brought the treasuries?
I trust that you have, um, brought the treasuries?
I understand you were close with Bronwen Fellworthy.
I understand you were close with Bronwen Fellworthy.
I understand you were close with Bronwen Fellworthy.
I understand you were close with Bronwen Fellworthy.
I want that painting.
I want that painting.
I want that painting.
I want that painting.
I want that painting.
I want that painting.
I want that painting.
I want that painting.
I was admiring your Franz Joseph.
I was admiring your Franz Joseph.
I was admiring your Franz Joseph.
I was admiring your Franz Joseph.
I was hot on the scent,
I was hot on the scent,
I was hot on the scent,
I was hot on the scent,
I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd pop 'round,
I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd pop 'round,
I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd pop 'round,
I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd pop 'round,
I was just looking for something... else.
I was just looking for something... else.
I was not drinking until the plane.
I was not drinking until the plane.
I was not squeezing the breasts...
I was not squeezing the breasts...
I was unhappy with our last conversation,
I was unhappy with our last conversation,
I was unhappy with our last conversation,
I was unhappy with our last conversation,
I wasn't going to.
I wasn't going to.
I wasn't going to.
I wasn't going to.
I will have you know that I am not an alcoholic.
I will have you know that I am not an alcoholic.
I will have you know that I am not an alcoholic.
I will have you know that I am not an alcoholic.
I will kill her.
I will kill her.
I will kill her.
I will kill her.
I will meet you at Spinoza's in one hour.
I will meet you at Spinoza's in one hour.
I will shoot you.
I will shoot you.
I will take your finger.
I will take your finger.
I will take your finger.
I will take your finger.
I wish to use your telephone!
I wish to use your telephone!
I wish to use your telephone!
I wish to use your telephone!
I would like to humbly
I would like to humbly
I wouldn't, mate. I really wouldn't.
I wouldn't, mate. I really wouldn't.
I wouldn't, mate. I really wouldn't.
I wouldn't, mate. I really wouldn't.
I wouldn't, mate. I really wouldn't.
I wouldn't, mate. I really wouldn't.
I... I warn you, Georgina.
I... I warn you, Georgina.
I... I warn you, Georgina.
I... I warn you, Georgina.
I... Just...
I... Just...
I'd be delighted.
I'd be delighted.
I'd be delighted.
I'd be delighted.
I'll be all right, sir.
I'll be all right, sir.
I'll be all right, sir.
I'll be all right, sir.
I'll call Spinoza in the morning.
I'll call Spinoza in the morning.
I'll call Spinoza in the morning.
I'll call Spinoza in the morning.
I'll go to 20%.
I'll go to 20%.
I'll go to 20%.
I'll go to 20%.
I'll handle things on this end.
I'll handle things on this end.
I'll handle things on this end.
I'll handle things on this end.
I'll have Jock fix up the servants quarters for us.
I'll have Jock fix up the servants quarters for us.
I'll have Jock fix up the servants quarters for us.
I'll have Jock fix up the servants quarters for us.
I'll just be a moment, Alastair.
I'll just be a moment, Alastair.
I'll just be a moment, Alastair.
I'll just be a moment, Alastair.
I'll just have a supper tray in my room.
I'll just have a supper tray in my room.
I'll just have a supper tray in my room.
I'll just have a supper tray in my room.
I'll make it up to you, Jockie.
I'll make it up to you, Jockie.
I'll trim it.
I'll trim it.
I'm afraid I must be going, Your Grace.
I'm afraid I must be going, Your Grace.
I'm afraid I must be going, Your Grace.
I'm afraid I must be going, Your Grace.
I'm afraid I shall have to put my foot down, darling.
I'm afraid I shall have to put my foot down, darling.
I'm an art dealer, not a charlatan.
I'm an art dealer, not a charlatan.
I'm an art dealer, not a charlatan.
I'm an art dealer, not a charlatan.
I'm deeply, deeply flattered, young man.
I'm deeply, deeply flattered, young man.
I'm done.
I'm done.
I'm done.
I'm done.
I'm entering it in the Autumn Masters Auction.
I'm entering it in the Autumn Masters Auction.
I'm entering it in the Autumn Masters Auction.
I'm entering it in the Autumn Masters Auction.
I'm frightened. Do you think that Johanna is
I'm frightened. Do you think that Johanna is
I'm frightened. Do you think that Johanna is
I'm frightened. Do you think that Johanna is
I'm Georgina Krampf.
I'm Georgina Krampf.
I'm Georgina Krampf.
I'm Georgina Krampf.
I'm gonna unveil the Duchess,
I'm gonna unveil the Duchess,
I'm gonna unveil the Duchess,
I'm gonna unveil the Duchess,
I'm invested in it.
I'm invested in it.
I'm invested in it.
I'm invested in it.
I'm not sure if Jock has mentioned it, but I am
I'm not sure if Jock has mentioned it, but I am
I'm not sure if Jock has mentioned it, but I am
I'm not sure if Jock has mentioned it, but I am
I'm off for a wee.
I'm off for a wee.
I'm off for a wee.
I'm off for a wee.
I'm on the bonnet!
I'm on the bonnet!
I'm on the bonnet!
I'm on the bonnet!
I'm so terribly sorry. Mosquito. You see it?
I'm so terribly sorry. Mosquito. You see it?
I'm unable to steer my mind away from it.
I'm unable to steer my mind away from it.
I've always admired your rapacity, sir.
I've always admired your rapacity, sir.
I've always admired your rapacity, sir.
I've always admired your rapacity, sir.
I've asked for a Chardonnay. That is your drink, isn't it?
I've asked for a Chardonnay. That is your drink, isn't it?
I've asked for a Chardonnay. That is your drink, isn't it?
I've asked for a Chardonnay. That is your drink, isn't it?
I've been helpin' out Miss Fellworthy
I've been helpin' out Miss Fellworthy
I've been keeping her filled in.
I've been keeping her filled in.
I've been keeping her filled in.
I've been keeping her filled in.
I've been trying to get rid of her,
I've been trying to get rid of her,
I've been trying to get rid of her,
I've been trying to get rid of her,
I've given you a lot of rope over the years, Charlie.
I've given you a lot of rope over the years, Charlie.
If and when you outrage the laws
If and when you outrage the laws
If and when you outrage the laws
If and when you outrage the laws
If anyone tried to sell it,
If anyone tried to sell it,
If I led you to believe there was anything between us,
If I led you to believe there was anything between us,
If I led you to believe there was anything between us,
If I led you to believe there was anything between us,
If indeed Johanna and I still had a home to go to.
If indeed Johanna and I still had a home to go to.
If indeed Johanna and I still had a home to go to.
If indeed Johanna and I still had a home to go to.
If it does exist, it belongs to Spain.
If it does exist, it belongs to Spain.
If it does exist, it belongs to Spain.
If it does exist, it belongs to Spain.
If it falls into Strago's hands,
If it falls into Strago's hands,
If it is money we need,
If it is money we need,
If it is money we need,
If it is money we need,
If you are growing that excrement on your lip
If you are growing that excrement on your lip
If you are growing that excrement on your lip
If you are growing that excrement on your lip
If you please to tell me.
If you please to tell me.
If you please to tell me.
If you please to tell me.
If you would please remain calm.
If you would please remain calm.
If you would please remain calm.
If you would please remain calm.
Ignoring some of the more
Ignoring some of the more
In addition to being my manservant and thug,
In addition to being my manservant and thug,
In addition to being my manservant and thug,
In addition to being my manservant and thug,
In an unpronounceable chateau by the jerrys.
In an unpronounceable chateau by the jerrys.
In hushed tones to this very day.
In hushed tones to this very day.
In hushed tones to this very day.
In hushed tones to this very day.
In my defense,
In my defense,
In my defense,
In my defense,
In next week's sale.
In next week's sale.
In next week's sale.
In next week's sale.
In no way obviates the fact
In no way obviates the fact
In no way obviates the fact
In no way obviates the fact
In settlement of your tax bill, Charlie.
In settlement of your tax bill, Charlie.
In settlement of your tax bill, Charlie.
In settlement of your tax bill, Charlie.
In that frigid city,
In that frigid city,
In that frigid city,
In that frigid city,
In the cars, quickly. Maurice, Oxford.
In the cars, quickly. Maurice, Oxford.
In the cars, quickly. Maurice, Oxford.
In the cars, quickly. Maurice, Oxford.
In the fine art of fencing.
In the fine art of fencing.
In the fine art of fencing.
In the fine art of fencing.
In the theft of a middling Goya?
In the theft of a middling Goya?
In the theft of a middling Goya?
In the theft of a middling Goya?
In vague terms.
In vague terms.
In vague terms.
In vague terms.
In verse.
In verse.
In verse.
In verse.
In Westem Civilization,
In Westem Civilization,
In your immediate vicinity?
In your immediate vicinity?
Including the smuggling of the painting in your Rolls.
Including the smuggling of the painting in your Rolls.
Including the smuggling of the painting in your Rolls.
Including the smuggling of the painting in your Rolls.
Ingenious. Once again?
Ingenious. Once again?
Ingenious. Once again?
Ingenious. Once again?
Inspector Alastair Martland.
Inspector Alastair Martland.
Inspector Martland, sir.
Inspector Martland, sir.
Inspector Martland, sir.
Inspector Martland, sir.
Interested now?
Interested now?
Interested now?
Interested now?
Interspersed curiously with erotic dreams.
Interspersed curiously with erotic dreams.
Interspersed curiously with erotic dreams.
Interspersed curiously with erotic dreams.
Invisible ink, no?
Invisible ink, no?
Invisible ink, no?
Invisible ink, no?
Inviting bottles on the drinks tray,
Inviting bottles on the drinks tray,
Inviting bottles on the drinks tray,
Inviting bottles on the drinks tray,
Involuntarily, one would hope,
Involuntarily, one would hope,
Involuntarily, one would hope,
Involuntarily, one would hope,
Is a Rolls... The bloody Silver,
Is a Rolls... The bloody Silver,
Is a well spun rumor.
Is a well spun rumor.
Is a well spun rumor.
Is a well spun rumor.
Is his sovereign ground...
Is his sovereign ground...
Is his sovereign ground...
Is his sovereign ground...
Is it not?
Is it not?
Is it not?
Is it not?
Is it that you actually know and don't want to tell me?
Is it that you actually know and don't want to tell me?
Is it that you actually know and don't want to tell me?
Is it that you actually know and don't want to tell me?
Is my mustache.
Is my mustache.
Is my mustache.
Is my mustache.
Is she?
Is she?
Is she?
Is she?
Is that Martland?
Is that Martland?
Is that Martland?
Is that Martland?
Is that our final bid?
Is that our final bid?
Is there a purpose to your presence?
Is there a purpose to your presence?
Is there a purpose to your presence?
Is there a purpose to your presence?
Is this a tryst?
Is this a tryst?
Is this a tryst?
Is this a tryst?
Is this how she was found?
Is this how she was found?
Isn't it charming?
Isn't it charming?
Isn't it charming?
Isn't it charming?
It appears he's requesting
It appears he's requesting
It appears he's requesting
It appears he's requesting
It contains water.
It contains water.
It contains water.
It contains water.
It had vanished once again into history,
It had vanished once again into history,
It is a bargain at two million pounds.
It is a bargain at two million pounds.
It is a bargain at two million pounds.
It is a bargain at two million pounds.
It is a matter of national security.
It is a matter of national security.
It is a privilege, Jock.
It is a privilege, Jock.
It is a privilege, Jock.
It is a privilege, Jock.
It is apparent that you are well versed in the stick.
It is apparent that you are well versed in the stick.
It is I, Charlie. Your husband.
It is I, Charlie. Your husband.
It is I, Charlie. Your husband.
It is I, Charlie. Your husband.
It is I, your beloved.
It is I, your beloved.
It is I, your beloved. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
It is I, your beloved. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
It looked like you have a vagina on your face.
It looked like you have a vagina on your face.
It looked like you have a vagina on your face.
It looked like you have a vagina on your face.
It made me feel dirty.
It made me feel dirty.
It vanished after the unveiling, but
It vanished after the unveiling, but
It vanished after the unveiling, but
It vanished after the unveiling, but
It was a catalogue
It was a catalogue
It was a damned good try, old bean.
It was a damned good try, old bean.
It was a damned good try, old bean.
It was a damned good try, old bean.
It was lovely to see you, Alastair.
It was lovely to see you, Alastair.
It was lovely to see you, Alastair.
It was lovely to see you, Alastair.
It was merely to find out about the case
It was merely to find out about the case
It was merely to find out about the case
It was merely to find out about the case
It was not from a child, it was from him.
It was not from a child, it was from him.
It was not from a child, it was from him.
It was not from a child, it was from him.
It will come to fruition, yes.
It will come to fruition, yes.
It will come to fruition, yes.
It will come to fruition, yes.
It's a fine day to be alive, what?
It's a fine day to be alive, what?
It's a fine day to be alive, what?
It's a fine day to be alive, what?
It's a matter of urgent national security.
It's a matter of urgent national security.
It's a matter of urgent national security.
It's a matter of urgent national security.
It's a matter of urgent national security.
It's a matter of urgent national security.
It's a privilege, sir!
It's a privilege, sir!
It's a privilege, sir!
It's a privilege, sir!
It's a privilege, sir.
It's a privilege, sir.
It's a terrible moment when you find yourself
It's a terrible moment when you find yourself
It's a terrible moment when you find yourself
It's a terrible moment when you find yourself
It's all right, sir, I've got another.
It's all right, sir, I've got another.
It's been authenticated.
It's been authenticated.
It's been authenticated.
It's been authenticated.
It's just a cracked rib.
It's just a cracked rib.
It's just a cracked rib.
It's just a cracked rib.
It's just me, mate.
It's just me, mate.
It's just the old smash and grab routine, sir.
It's just the old smash and grab routine, sir.
It's just the old smash and grab routine, sir.
It's just the old smash and grab routine, sir.
It's like listening to bloody orangutans!
It's like listening to bloody orangutans!
It's like listening to bloody orangutans!
It's like listening to bloody orangutans!
It's Mortdecai, sir.
It's Mortdecai, sir.
It's Mortdecai, sir.
It's Mortdecai, sir.
It's my husband on the line.
It's my husband on the line.
It's my manservant.
It's my manservant.
It's my manservant.
It's my manservant.
It's not all chardonnay and afternoon trysts.
It's not all chardonnay and afternoon trysts.
It's not all chardonnay and afternoon trysts.
It's not all chardonnay and afternoon trysts.
It's not even fully corked. It's a baby.
It's not even fully corked. It's a baby.
It's not even fully corked. It's a baby.
It's not even fully corked. It's a baby.
It's not herpetic, I hope.
It's not herpetic, I hope.
It's not herpetic, I hope.
It's not herpetic, I hope.
It's not some Toyota Clitoris.
It's not some Toyota Clitoris.
It's not some Toyota Clitoris.
It's not some Toyota Clitoris.
It's so wonderful to have someone
It's so wonderful to have someone
It's the shellfish!
It's the shellfish!
It's the shellfish!
It's the shellfish!
It's this way.
It's this way.
It's this way.
It's this way.
It's very difficult for me as well, you know,
It's very difficult for me as well, you know,
It's very difficult for me as well, you know,
It's very difficult for me as well, you know,
Item one: The Rolls Royce,
Item one: The Rolls Royce,
Item one: The Rolls Royce,
Item one: The Rolls Royce,
Item the second: I need to ascertain
Item the second: I need to ascertain
Item the second: I need to ascertain
Item the second: I need to ascertain
Jock and I set off to deliver the Rolls
Jock and I set off to deliver the Rolls
Jock laid out the state
Jock laid out the state
JOCK ON PHONE: Sorry, sir. We'll try and keep it down.
JOCK ON PHONE: Sorry, sir. We'll try and keep it down.
Jock, give me the painting.
Jock, give me the painting.
Jock, I fear we are in the eleventh hour, man.
Jock, I fear we are in the eleventh hour, man.
Jock, please!
Jock, please!
Jock, please!
Jock, please!
Jock, you know, it's entirely possible
Jock, you know, it's entirely possible
Jock, you're ablaze!
Jock, you're ablaze!
Jock, you're ablaze!
Jock, you're ablaze!
JOCK: Hang on, sir!
JOCK: Hang on, sir!
JOCK: It's a privilege, sir!
JOCK: It's a privilege, sir!
JOCK: It's just me, mate.
JOCK: It's just me, mate.
JOCK: Keep your head down, sir!
JOCK: Keep your head down, sir!
JOCK: On your feet, soldier.
JOCK: On your feet, soldier.
JOCK: Sir, the switch.
JOCK: Sir, the switch.
Jock!
Jock!
Jock!
Jock!
Jock!
Jock!
Jock! Jock, wait! Jock!
Jock! Jock, wait! Jock!
Jock! Jock, wait! Jock!
Jock! Jock, wait! Jock!
Jock?
Jock?
Jock?
Jock?
Jock?
Jock?
Jock?
Jock?
Jock? (WHISPERING) Come here.
Jock? (WHISPERING) Come here.
Jock? Come here.
Jock? Come here.
Jock? Please can you take the Sheridan
Jock? Please can you take the Sheridan
Jock? Please can you take the Sheridan
Jock? Please can you take the Sheridan
Jockie,
Jockie,
Jockie,
Jockie,
Jockie, thank heavens! Where have you been, man?
Jockie, thank heavens! Where have you been, man?
Jockie, thank heavens! Where have you been, man?
Jockie, thank heavens! Where have you been, man?
Jockie!
Jockie!
Jockie!
Jockie!
Jockie! Advise?
Jockie! Advise?
Jockie! Advise?
Jockie! Advise?
Johanna, I simply can't.
Johanna, I simply can't.
Johanna, I simply can't.
Johanna, I simply can't.
Johanna, my darling.
Johanna, my darling.
Johanna, my dear, this is Milton Krampf's nymph...
Johanna, my dear, this is Milton Krampf's nymph...
Johanna, my dear, this is Milton Krampf's nymph...
Johanna, my dear, this is Milton Krampf's nymph...
Johanna, we seem to be out of ice.
Johanna, we seem to be out of ice.
Johanna, you look lovely.
Johanna, you look lovely.
Johanna, you look lovely.
Johanna, you look lovely.
JOHANNA: Any blame here should fall on me.
JOHANNA: Any blame here should fall on me.
JOHANNA: Darling!
JOHANNA: Darling!
JOHANNA: Oh, hello, Poppet.
JOHANNA: Oh, hello, Poppet.
JOHANNA: Oh...
JOHANNA: Oh...
Johanna!
Johanna!
Johanna?
Johanna?
Johanna?
Johanna?
Johanna?
Johanna?
Johanna?
Johanna?
Johanna. Love of my life.
Johanna. Love of my life.
Johanna...
Johanna...
Johnson!
Johnson!
Johnson!
Johnson!
Jump!
Jump!
Jump!
Jump!
Just a little something I cooked up
Just a little something I cooked up
Just a little something I cooked up
Just a little something I cooked up
Just bear in mind, I'm standing on a loo,
Just bear in mind, I'm standing on a loo,
Just bear in mind, I'm standing on a loo,
Just bear in mind, I'm standing on a loo,
Just get him.
Just get him.
Just get him.
Just get him.
Just getting rid of some choice items
Just getting rid of some choice items
Just getting rid of some choice items
Just getting rid of some choice items
Just keepin' the place tidy and whatnot.
Just keepin' the place tidy and whatnot.
Just keepin' the place tidy and whatnot.
Just keepin' the place tidy and whatnot.
Just look at her. Isn't she a beauty?
Just look at her. Isn't she a beauty?
Just look at her. Isn't she a beauty?
Just look at her. Isn't she a beauty?
Just taking the horse for a trot out to London
Just taking the horse for a trot out to London
Just taking the horse for a trot out to London
Just taking the horse for a trot out to London
Just the usual, you know. Egg cress, prawn mayonnaise,
Just the usual, you know. Egg cress, prawn mayonnaise,
Just the usual, you know. Egg cress, prawn mayonnaise,
Just the usual, you know. Egg cress, prawn mayonnaise,
Just to start the day properly.
Just to start the day properly.
Keep the Englishman busy. I create distraction.
Keep the Englishman busy. I create distraction.
Keep the Englishman busy. I create distraction.
Keep the Englishman busy. I create distraction.
Keep the Englishman busy. I create distraction.
Keep the Englishman busy. I create distraction.
Keep your head down, sir!
Keep your head down, sir!
Krampf calls Spinoza.
Krampf calls Spinoza.
Krampf's dealer, what is his name?
Krampf's dealer, what is his name?
Krampf's dealer, what is his name?
Krampf's dealer, what is his name?
Krampf's window is the second one on the left.
Krampf's window is the second one on the left.
Krampf's window is the second one on the left.
Krampf's window is the second one on the left.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Ladies and gentlemen,
Ladies and gentlemen, if you would please
Ladies and gentlemen, if you would please
Lady Mortdecai, the Duke is expecting you.
Lady Mortdecai, the Duke is expecting you.
Lady Mortdecai, the Duke is expecting you.
Lady Mortdecai, the Duke is expecting you.
Lady Mortdecai.
Lady Mortdecai.
Lady Mortdecai.
Lady Mortdecai.
Lady Mortdecai.
Lady Mortdecai.
Lady Mortdecai.
Lady Mortdecai.
Last chance. And we are...
Last chance. And we are...
Last night she was killed. Painting has disappeared.
Last night she was killed. Painting has disappeared.
Last night she was killed. Painting has disappeared.
Last night she was killed. Painting has disappeared.
Leaving out the back. On foot.
Leaving out the back. On foot.
Leaving out the back. On foot.
Leaving out the back. On foot.
Leaving the rest of us to answer
Leaving the rest of us to answer
Leaving the rest of us to answer
Leaving the rest of us to answer
Left a total of just over eight million pounds.
Left a total of just over eight million pounds.
Let's get back to the Duchess.
Let's get back to the Duchess.
Let's get back to the Duchess.
Let's get back to the Duchess.
Let's look at the photographs.
Let's look at the photographs.
Let's look at the photographs.
Let's look at the photographs.
Let's review it a few more times, shall we?
Let's review it a few more times, shall we?
Lighting positively medieval.
Lighting positively medieval.
Lighting positively medieval.
Lighting positively medieval.
Lights.
Lights.
Like a jungle cat.
Like a jungle cat.
Like a jungle cat.
Like a jungle cat.
Like a Welsh barmaid.
Like a Welsh barmaid.
Like a Welsh barmaid.
Like a Welsh barmaid.
Like this? Like this?
Like this? Like this?
Looks like something curled up and died on your lip.
Looks like something curled up and died on your lip.
Looks like something curled up and died on your lip.
Looks like something curled up and died on your lip.
Looted from some sealed room
Looted from some sealed room
Looted from some sealed room
Looted from some sealed room
Lot Five. Smiling Woman in a Chair.
Lot Five. Smiling Woman in a Chair.
Love your Bunny?
Love your Bunny?
Love your Bunny?
Love your Bunny?
Love... your... Bunny.
Love... your... Bunny.
Love... your... Bunny.
Love... your... Bunny.
Low fired with an immersion glaze?
Low fired with an immersion glaze?
Low fired with an immersion glaze?
Low fired with an immersion glaze?
Lucky saddle.
Lucky saddle.
Lucky saddle.
Lucky saddle.
Magnificent.
Magnificent.
Man down! Man down!
Man down! Man down!
Man down! Man down!
Man down! Man down!
MAN: Where is he?
MAN: Where is he?
Martland also met Johanna at school.
Martland also met Johanna at school.
Martland and I met at Oxford.
Martland and I met at Oxford.
Martland and I met at Oxford.
Martland and I met at Oxford.
MARTLAND: Bit of cheese to go with that?
MARTLAND: Bit of cheese to go with that?
MARTLAND: I followed you.
MARTLAND: I followed you.
MARTLAND: Mmm, thank you.
MARTLAND: Mmm, thank you.
MARTLAND: Oh, is he still alive?
MARTLAND: Oh, is he still alive?
MARTLAND: There's their car!
MARTLAND: There's their car!
Massive, crushing debt.
Massive, crushing debt.
Massive, crushing debt.
Massive, crushing debt.
Maurice?
Maurice?
May I bring anything?
May I bring anything?
May I bring anything?
May I bring anything?
Maybe I should have an affair.
Maybe I should have an affair.
Maybe I should have an affair. (CHUCKLES)
Maybe I should have an affair. (CHUCKLES)
Meanwhile, not far away,
Meanwhile, not far away,
Meanwhile, not far away,
Meanwhile, not far away,
Metaphoric woman... Women.
Metaphoric woman... Women.
Metaphoric woman... Women.
Metaphoric woman... Women.
Metaphorically... General... You know.
Metaphorically... General... You know.
Metaphorically... General... You know.
Metaphorically... General... You know.
MI5.
MI5.
Might it be possible to swing the old fellow north,
Might it be possible to swing the old fellow north,
Might it be possible to swing the old fellow north,
Might it be possible to swing the old fellow north,
Milton Krampf
Milton Krampf
Milton Krampf
Milton Krampf
Milton Krampf tells everyone he is getting painting.
Milton Krampf tells everyone he is getting painting.
Milton Krampf? The American?
Milton Krampf? The American?
Milton Krampf? The American?
Milton Krampf? The American?
MILTON: Doesn't she look like my mother?
MILTON: Doesn't she look like my mother?
Miss Bronwen would take photos
Miss Bronwen would take photos
Miss Bronwen would take photos
Miss Bronwen would take photos
Miss Bronwen? Everything all right?
Miss Bronwen? Everything all right?
Ml5.
Ml5.
Mmm, and find, I have done.
Mmm, and find, I have done.
Mmm, and find, I have done.
Mmm, and find, I have done.
Mmm, thank you.
Mmm, thank you.
Mmm?
Mmm?
Mmm?
Mmm?
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm. Quite, quite, yes, indeed, quite.
Mmm. Quite, quite, yes, indeed, quite.
Mmm. Quite, quite, yes, indeed, quite.
Mmm. Quite, quite, yes, indeed, quite.
Mmm...
Mmm...
Mmm...
Mmm...
Mmm...
Mmm...
Mmm...
Mmm...
Mmm...
Mmm...
Mmm...
Mmm...
Mmm... (URINATING)
Mmm... (URINATING)
More.
More.
MORTDECAI: A fake? How do you know?
MORTDECAI: A fake? How do you know?
MORTDECAI: A quick aside about Jock.
MORTDECAI: A quick aside about Jock.
MORTDECAI: As you may well know, I am many things.
MORTDECAI: As you may well know, I am many things.
MORTDECAI: Besides being the finest garage man
MORTDECAI: Besides being the finest garage man
MORTDECAI: Darling!
MORTDECAI: Darling!
MORTDECAI: Huh?
MORTDECAI: Huh?
MORTDECAI: Inspector Alastair Martland.
MORTDECAI: Inspector Alastair Martland.
MORTDECAI: It was a catalogue
MORTDECAI: It was a catalogue
MORTDECAI: Jock and I set off to deliver the Rolls
MORTDECAI: Jock and I set off to deliver the Rolls
MORTDECAI: Jock!
MORTDECAI: Jock!
MORTDECAI: Johanna, my darling.
MORTDECAI: Johanna, my darling.
MORTDECAI: Johanna. Love ofmy life.
MORTDECAI: Johanna. Love ofmy life.
MORTDECAI: Krampf calls Spinoza.
MORTDECAI: Krampf calls Spinoza.
MORTDECAI: Martland also met Johanna at school.
MORTDECAI: Martland also met Johanna at school.
MORTDECAI: Mmm.
MORTDECAI: Mmm.
MORTDECAI: My first stop was to see Sir Graham Archer,
MORTDECAI: My first stop was to see Sir Graham Archer,
MORTDECAI: Poor Jock. He was frantic with worry.
MORTDECAI: Poor Jock. He was frantic with worry.
MORTDECAI: Score one for Martland.
MORTDECAI: Score one for Martland.
MORTDECAI: Sir Graham has been
MORTDECAI: Sir Graham has been
MORTDECAI: So, I was a mule!
MORTDECAI: So, I was a mule!
MORTDECAI: The local authorities were displeased.
MORTDECAI: The local authorities were displeased.
MORTDECAI: The rest was a bit rude,
MORTDECAI: The rest was a bit rude,
MORTDECAI: Well done, Jock.
MORTDECAI: Well done, Jock.
MORTDECAI: Well done.
MORTDECAI: Well done.
Mortdecai.
Mortdecai.
Mortdecai.
Mortdecai.
Moving on to Lot Two.
Moving on to Lot Two.
Mrs. Mortdecai, as you well know,
Mrs. Mortdecai, as you well know,
Mrs. Mortdecai, as you well know,
Mrs. Mortdecai, as you well know,
Multiple attacks over the years to come,
Multiple attacks over the years to come,
Multiple attacks over the years to come,
Multiple attacks over the years to come,
Museum
Museum
Must go and bid. Must go and bid. Must go and bid.
Must go and bid. Must go and bid. Must go and bid.
Must go and bid. Must go and bid. Must go and bid.
Must go and bid. Must go and bid. Must go and bid.
Must to the lavatory.
Must to the lavatory.
Must to the lavatory.
Must to the lavatory.
Must to the W.C.
Must to the W.C.
Must to the W.C.
Must to the W.C.
Mwah.
Mwah.
My first stop was to see Sir Graham Archer,
My first stop was to see Sir Graham Archer,
My God.
My God.
My God. (GROANS)
My God. (GROANS)
My husband is trying to reclaim his youth
My husband is trying to reclaim his youth
My husband is trying to reclaim his youth
My husband is trying to reclaim his youth
My immediate self defenestration.
My immediate self defenestration.
My immediate self defenestration.
My immediate self defenestration.
My love, surely you recall
My love, surely you recall
My love, surely you recall
My love, surely you recall
My love, you are killing me. Please.
My love, you are killing me. Please.
My love, you are killing me. Please.
My love, you are killing me. Please.
My moustache.
My moustache.
My moustache.
My moustache.
My only true love. My love beast.
My only true love. My love beast.
My only true love. My love beast.
My only true love. My love beast.
My relationship with my mother, uh,
My relationship with my mother, uh,
My rumpus room rascal.
My rumpus room rascal.
My rumpus room rascal. (INHALES)
My rumpus room rascal. (INHALES)
My Sheik, does this mean you have excommunicated
My Sheik, does this mean you have excommunicated
My Sheik, does this mean you have excommunicated
My Sheik, does this mean you have excommunicated
My sympathetic gag reflex.
My sympathetic gag reflex.
My sympathetic gag reflex.
My sympathetic gag reflex.
My wife needs to come around
My wife needs to come around
My wife needs to come around
My wife needs to come around
My, my, look at the time! Uh...
My, my, look at the time! Uh...
My, my, look at the time! Uh...
My, my, look at the time! Uh...
My... My love. My...
My... My love. My...
My... My love. My...
My... My love. My...
Never mind about that.
Never mind about that.
Never mind. I've found a cold Latour
Never mind. I've found a cold Latour
Never mind. I've found a cold Latour
Never mind. I've found a cold Latour
No balls.
No balls.
No balls.
No balls.
No help whatsoever, randy bugger.
No help whatsoever, randy bugger.
No help whatsoever, randy bugger.
No help whatsoever, randy bugger.
No more, no more, no more.
No more, no more, no more.
No one in particular, of course.
No one in particular, of course.
No one knows the filthy underside
No one knows the filthy underside
No one knows the filthy underside
No one knows the filthy underside
No painting takes three months to clean,
No painting takes three months to clean,
No painting takes three months to clean,
No painting takes three months to clean,
No problem.
No problem.
No problem.
No problem.
No time to dally. Ugh.
No time to dally. Ugh.
No wonder your country's in financial ruin.
No wonder your country's in financial ruin.
No wonder your country's in financial ruin.
No wonder your country's in financial ruin.
No, he's here, sir.
No, he's here, sir.
No, I can't understand a word she says.
No, I can't understand a word she says.
No, I can't understand a word she says.
No, I can't understand a word she says.
No, I do not know that, Maurice.
No, I do not know that, Maurice.
No, I do not need help with my bags.
No, I do not need help with my bags.
No, I don't.
No, I don't.
No, I don't.
No, I don't.
No, I never drink alcohol.
No, I never drink alcohol.
No, I never drink alcohol.
No, I never drink alcohol.
No, I suppose not.
No, I suppose not.
No, I suppose not.
No, I suppose not.
No, no, man! My little sproutling.
No, no, man! My little sproutling.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no.
No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no.
No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no.
No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no.
No, no. Change that. I need a restorative.
No, no. Change that. I need a restorative.
No, no. Change that. I need a restorative.
No, no. Change that. I need a restorative.
No, no. I met a beast!
No, no. I met a beast!
No, no. I met a beast!
No, no. I met a beast!
No, no. No, no, no, no, no.
No, no. No, no, no, no, no.
No, no. No, no, no, no, no. (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
No, no. No, no, no, no, no. (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
No, not in her, in me.
No, not in her, in me.
No, not in her, in me.
No, not in her, in me.
No, not the stairs!
No, not the stairs!
No, not the stairs!
No, not the stairs!
No, not there, stupid. Here.
No, not there, stupid. Here.
No, not there, stupid. Here.
No, not there, stupid. Here.
No, sir.
No, sir.
No, the fortune to fund violent worldwide revolution.
No, the fortune to fund violent worldwide revolution.
No, the fortune to fund violent worldwide revolution.
No, the fortune to fund violent worldwide revolution.
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No.
No.
Nobody make a move.
Nobody make a move.
None of the southern
None of the southern
None of you will ever know what it's like to make love
None of you will ever know what it's like to make love
None of you will ever know what it's like to make love
None of you will ever know what it's like to make love
Nor my relationship to your mother.
Nor my relationship to your mother.
Nor my relationship to your mother.
Nor my relationship to your mother.
Not an instrument of biological warfare.
Not an instrument of biological warfare.
Not an instrument of biological warfare.
Not an instrument of biological warfare.
Not lately.
Not lately.
Not lately.
Not lately.
Not nearly.
Not nearly.
Now that you've mentioned it,
Now that you've mentioned it,
Now that you've mentioned it,
Now that you've mentioned it,
Now we heat the surface,
Now we heat the surface,
Now we heat the surface,
Now we heat the surface,
Now we wait. Thirty seconds. Twenty nine... Twenty eight...
Now we wait. Thirty seconds. Twenty nine... Twenty eight...
Now we wait. Thirty seconds. Twenty nine... Twenty eight...
Now we wait. Thirty seconds. Twenty nine... Twenty eight...
Now, can we go to 500?
Now, can we go to 500?
Now, tell me about that tramp on the horse.
Now, tell me about that tramp on the horse.
Now, tell me about that tramp on the horse.
Now, tell me about that tramp on the horse.
Now, tell me, what are you and my husband
Now, tell me, what are you and my husband
Now, tell me, what are you and my husband
Now, tell me, what are you and my husband
Now, that is the look that softens
Now, that is the look that softens
Now, that is the look that softens
Now, that is the look that softens
Now, what's all this about a missing Goya?
Now, what's all this about a missing Goya?
Now, what's all this about a missing Goya?
Now, what's all this about a missing Goya?
Now, you look here, Fang! Fat. Fang Fat.
Now, you look here, Fang! Fat. Fang Fat.
Now, you look here, Fang! Fat. Fang Fat.
Now, you look here, Fang! Fat. Fang Fat.
Obsessed with the painting,
Obsessed with the painting,
Obsessed with the painting,
Obsessed with the painting,
Of Asherboroughdon. Bronwen's lover.
Of Asherboroughdon. Bronwen's lover.
Of Asherboroughdon. Bronwen's lover.
Of Asherboroughdon. Bronwen's lover.
Of course it is.
Of course it is.
Of course it is.
Of course it is.
Of course you're aware of that.
Of course you're aware of that.
Of course you're aware of that.
Of course you're aware of that.
Of course, Johanna.
Of course, Johanna.
Of course, Johanna.
Of course, Johanna.
Of course!
Of course!
Of course!
Of course!
Of course.
Of course.
Of course.
Of course.
Of course.
Of course.
Of each stage of her work, bless her.
Of each stage of her work, bless her.
Of each stage of her work, bless her.
Of each stage of her work, bless her.
Of our financial affairs.
Of our financial affairs.
Of our financial affairs.
Of our financial affairs.
Of reasonable intelligence to converse with.
Of reasonable intelligence to converse with.
Of sexual intercourse,
Of sexual intercourse,
Of such frightening power and timbre
Of such frightening power and timbre
Of the art world better than he, sir.
Of the art world better than he, sir.
Of the art world better than he, sir.
Of the art world better than he, sir.
Of the building, break through the window, grab the painting.
Of the building, break through the window, grab the painting.
Of the fairer sex do find it quite appealing.
Of the fairer sex do find it quite appealing.
Of the United States, once you are there.
Of the United States, once you are there.
Of unbelievable nastiness.
Of unbelievable nastiness.
Of unbelievable nastiness.
Of unbelievable nastiness.
Oh, a terribly vulgar place called Los Angeles.
Oh, a terribly vulgar place called Los Angeles.
Oh, afraid I'm all thumbs with these damn things!
Oh, afraid I'm all thumbs with these damn things!
Oh, afraid I'm all thumbs with these damn things!
Oh, afraid I'm all thumbs with these damn things!
Oh, Alastair. It's so lovely. Do come back.
Oh, Alastair. It's so lovely. Do come back.
Oh, Alastair. It's so lovely. Do come back.
Oh, Alastair. It's so lovely. Do come back.
Oh, all right. Wheel him in.
Oh, all right. Wheel him in.
Oh, all right. Wheel him in.
Oh, all right. Wheel him in.
Oh, and his wife is on line six for you, sir.
Oh, and his wife is on line six for you, sir.
Oh, and his wife is on line six for you, sir.
Oh, and his wife is on line six for you, sir.
Oh, and incidentally, I asked for some cheese,
Oh, and incidentally, I asked for some cheese,
Oh, and incidentally, I asked for some cheese,
Oh, and incidentally, I asked for some cheese,
Oh, and poor Spinoza...
Oh, and poor Spinoza...
Oh, apple of my eye. The love of my life.
Oh, apple of my eye. The love of my life.
Oh, apple of my eye. The love of my life.
Oh, apple of my eye. The love of my life.
Oh, balls.
Oh, balls.
Oh, balls.
Oh, balls.
Oh, Charlie...
Oh, Charlie...
Oh, Charlie...
Oh, Charlie...
Oh, Charlie...
Oh, Charlie...
Oh, darl...
Oh, darl...
Oh, darling...
Oh, darling...
Oh, dash it all, Jock, man, your hand!
Oh, dash it all, Jock, man, your hand!
Oh, dash it all, Jock, man, your hand!
Oh, dash it all, Jock, man, your hand!
Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear...
Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear...
Oh, dear, sweet, resourceful Jock.
Oh, dear, sweet, resourceful Jock.
Oh, dear, sweet, resourceful Jock.
Oh, dear, sweet, resourceful Jock.
Oh, dear!
Oh, dear!
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
Oh, diabolical.
Oh, diabolical.
Oh, diabolical.
Oh, diabolical.
Oh, don't point that thing at me.
Oh, don't point that thing at me.
Oh, don't point that thing at me.
Oh, don't point that thing at me.
Oh, don't worry about that, sir, I've got nine more.
Oh, don't worry about that, sir, I've got nine more.
Oh, don't worry about that, sir, I've got nine more.
Oh, don't worry about that, sir, I've got nine more.
Oh, excellent.
Oh, excellent.
Oh, excellent.
Oh, excellent.
Oh, God, I missed you terribly.
Oh, God, I missed you terribly.
Oh, God, I missed you terribly.
Oh, God, I missed you terribly.
Oh, God!
Oh, God!
Oh, God!
Oh, God!
Oh, God! That wasn't nice!
Oh, God! That wasn't nice!
Oh, God! That wasn't nice!
Oh, God! That wasn't nice!
Oh, God. (SWALLOWS) It's unbearable.
Oh, God. (SWALLOWS) It's unbearable.
Oh, God. It's unbearable.
Oh, God. It's unbearable.
Oh, Golly! I have read about this.
Oh, Golly! I have read about this.
Oh, golly. Look at the time. I really must be going.
Oh, golly. Look at the time. I really must be going.
Oh, golly. Look at the time. I really must be going.
Oh, golly. Look at the time. I really must be going.
Oh, hello, Poppet.
Oh, hello, Poppet.
Oh, how I long for the rain and indifference of Europe.
Oh, how I long for the rain and indifference of Europe.
Oh, how I long for the rain and indifference of Europe.
Oh, how I long for the rain and indifference of Europe.
Oh, I couldn't ask. But how about tomorrow?
Oh, I couldn't ask. But how about tomorrow?
Oh, I couldn't ask. But how about tomorrow?
Oh, I couldn't ask. But how about tomorrow?
Oh, I don't like that. I don't like it.
Oh, I don't like that. I don't like it.
Oh, I don't like that. I don't like it.
Oh, I don't like that. I don't like it.
Oh, I feel wonderful.
Oh, I feel wonderful.
Oh, I feel wonderful.
Oh, I feel wonderful.
Oh, I happen to be terribly fond of it,
Oh, I happen to be terribly fond of it,
Oh, I happen to be terribly fond of it,
Oh, I happen to be terribly fond of it,
Oh, I know you will, sir. You always do.
Oh, I know you will, sir. You always do.
Oh, I know you will, sir. You always do.
Oh, I know you will, sir. You always do.
Oh, I love motorcycles. They're very fast.
Oh, I love motorcycles. They're very fast.
Oh, I love motorcycles. They're very fast.
Oh, I love motorcycles. They're very fast.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see...
Oh, I see...
Oh, I see...
Oh, I see...
Oh, I've got a sensitive tummy!
Oh, I've got a sensitive tummy!
Oh, is he Still alive?
Oh, is he Still alive?
Oh, it was dashed exhilarating.
Oh, it was dashed exhilarating.
Oh, it's burning... I... I can't go on...
Oh, it's burning... I... I can't go on...
Oh, it's the house. Terribly vast.
Oh, it's the house. Terribly vast.
Oh, it's the house. Terribly vast.
Oh, it's the house. Terribly vast.
Oh, Jock.
Oh, Jock.
Oh, Jock.
Oh, Jock.
Oh, Jock...
Oh, Jock...
Oh, Jock...
Oh, Jock...
Oh, moon of my delight. This is your own personalized
Oh, moon of my delight. This is your own personalized
Oh, moon of my delight. This is your own personalized
Oh, moon of my delight. This is your own personalized
Oh, my darling,
Oh, my darling,
Oh, my dear, I'm so tired. And so married and so tired.
Oh, my dear, I'm so tired. And so married and so tired.
Oh, my dear, I'm so tired. And so married and so tired.
Oh, my dear, I'm so tired. And so married and so tired.
Oh, my sweet little love beast,
Oh, my sweet little love beast,
Oh, my!
Oh, my!
Oh, my!
Oh, my!
Oh, my!
Oh, my!
Oh, no! No.
Oh, no! No.
Oh, oh, oh!
Oh, oh, oh!
Oh, Oh, Oh!
Oh, Oh, Oh!
Oh, pleasantly.
Oh, pleasantly.
Oh, pleasantly.
Oh, pleasantly.
Oh, quite right.
Oh, quite right.
Oh, quite right.
Oh, quite right.
Oh, really, why? Why?
Oh, really, why? Why?
Oh, really, why? Why?
Oh, really, why? Why?
Oh, really? Seems like more than a tiff to me.
Oh, really? Seems like more than a tiff to me.
Oh, shut up!
Oh, shut up!
Oh, shut up!
Oh, shut up!
Oh, stay out of it!
Oh, stay out of it!
Oh, stay out of it!
Oh, stay out of it!
Oh, thank you very much.
Oh, thank you very much.
Oh, thank you very much.
Oh, thank you very much.
Oh, that's gross!
Oh, that's gross!
Oh, that's unpleasant. Mmm...
Oh, that's unpleasant. Mmm...
Oh, that's unpleasant. Mmm...
Oh, that's unpleasant. Mmm...
Oh, this is interesting.
Oh, this is interesting.
Oh, uh... Well, in vague terms
Oh, uh... Well, in vague terms
Oh, well done.
Oh, well done.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
Oh, you beautiful breadwinner.
Oh, you beautiful breadwinner.
Oh, you beautiful breadwinner.
Oh, you beautiful breadwinner.
Oh, you know who I mean.
Oh, you know who I mean.
Oh, you know who I mean.
Oh, you know who I mean.
Oh, you listen here, you do gooder!
Oh, you listen here, you do gooder!
Oh, you were at Eton, weren't you, Martland?
Oh, you were at Eton, weren't you, Martland?
Oh, you were at Eton, weren't you, Martland?
Oh, you were at Eton, weren't you, Martland?
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Ahh!
Oh! Ahh!
Oh! Ahh!
Oh! Ahh!
Oh! Beast! Beast! Beast...
Oh! Beast! Beast! Beast...
Oh! Beast! Beast! Beast...
Oh! Beast! Beast! Beast...
Oh! Hello!
Oh! Hello!
Oh! Hello!
Oh! Hello!
Oh! Hello!
Oh! Hello!
Oh! How do you do?
Oh! How do you do?
Oh! How do you do?
Oh! How do you do?
Oh! How do you do?
Oh! How do you do?
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh! And don't forget the herringbone spoon.
Oh! Oh! And don't forget the herringbone spoon.
Oh! Ooh!
Oh! Ooh!
Oh! Ooh!
Oh! Ooh!
Oh! So much! So much to look at!
Oh! So much! So much to look at!
Oh! So much! So much to look at!
Oh! So much! So much to look at!
Oh! You certainly had a firm grasp on something!
Oh! You certainly had a firm grasp on something!
Oh! You certainly had a firm grasp on something!
Oh! You certainly had a firm grasp on something!
Oh! You pretended to be gentle,
Oh! You pretended to be gentle,
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. Beautiful woman.
Oh. Beautiful woman.
Oh. Beautiful woman.
Oh. Beautiful woman.
Oh. Randy bugger.
Oh. Randy bugger.
Oh. Randy bugger.
Oh. Randy bugger.
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...
Oh... (LAUGHS)
Oh... (LAUGHS)
Ohh.
Ohh.
Ohh.
Ohh.
Okay. Um...
Okay. Um...
Okay. Um...
Okay. Um...
Old bag. She should have put locks on her doors.
Old bag. She should have put locks on her doors.
Old bag. She should have put locks on her doors.
Old bag. She should have put locks on her doors.
ON PHONE: Romanov.
ON PHONE: Romanov.
On the set of a pornographic film?
On the set of a pornographic film?
On the set of a pornographic film?
On the set of a pornographic film?
Once in a while I provide him
Once in a while I provide him
Once in a while I provide him
Once in a while I provide him
Once it's announced. Do not delay.
Once it's announced. Do not delay.
Once it's announced. Do not delay.
Once it's announced. Do not delay.
One always bemoans the loss of a great restorer.
One always bemoans the loss of a great restorer.
One always bemoans the loss of a great restorer.
One always bemoans the loss of a great restorer.
One hundred thousand pounds. Thank you, Sir Graham.
One hundred thousand pounds. Thank you, Sir Graham.
One million pounds.
One million pounds.
Only our passions keeping us...
Only our passions keeping us...
Only our passions keeping us...
Only our passions keeping us...
Only that wasn't it at all!
Only that wasn't it at all!
Only that wasn't it at all!
Only that wasn't it at all!
Onward, Jock! Onward!
Onward, Jock! Onward!
Onward, Jock! Onward!
Onward, Jock! Onward!
Ooh, you do look lovely, darling.
Ooh, you do look lovely, darling.
Ooh, you do look lovely, darling.
Ooh, you do look lovely, darling.
Ooh, you have no idea
Ooh, you have no idea
Ooh!
Ooh!
Ooh!
Ooh!
Ooh! Who are you hiding in your belly?
Ooh! Who are you hiding in your belly?
Ooh! Who are you hiding in your belly?
Ooh! Who are you hiding in your belly?
Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh. Oh.
Ooh. Oh.
Ooh...
Ooh...
Ooh...
Ooh...
Ooh...
Ooh...
Ooh...
Ooh...
Oops.
Oops.
Oops.
Oops.
Open your balls?
Open your balls?
Open your balls.
Open your balls.
Open your balls.
Open your balls.
Or do you want me to sort it out for you?
Or do you want me to sort it out for you?
Or do you want me to sort it out for you?
Or do you want me to sort it out for you?
Or I'll have the magistrate open that file
Or I'll have the magistrate open that file
Or I'll have the magistrate open that file
Or I'll have the magistrate open that file
Or scoundrel, I will grant you.
Or scoundrel, I will grant you.
Or scoundrel, I will grant you.
Or scoundrel, I will grant you.
Or some such hint of...
Or some such hint of...
Or was it Agamemnon?
Or was it Agamemnon?
Or was it Agamemnon?
Or was it Agamemnon?
Or you have big hole in your head.
Or you have big hole in your head.
Or you have big hole in your head.
Or you have big hole in your head.
Our fortunes were about to become intertwined
Our fortunes were about to become intertwined
Our fortunes were about to become intertwined
Our fortunes were about to become intertwined
Our painting is entered in Sedgwick's Friday auction,
Our painting is entered in Sedgwick's Friday auction,
Our painting is entered in Sedgwick's Friday auction,
Our painting is entered in Sedgwick's Friday auction,
Our very future rests on
Our very future rests on
Our very future rests on
Our very future rests on
Out of the way, out of the way.
Out of the way, out of the way.
Out of the way, out of the way.
Out of the way, out of the way.
Out the window with it?
Out the window with it?
Out the window with it?
Out the window with it?
Out you go!
Out you go!
Out you go!
Out you go!
Perfect.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Perhaps a brisk walk down the stairs
Perhaps a brisk walk down the stairs
Perhaps she would render an opinion on the issue! Hmm?
Perhaps she would render an opinion on the issue! Hmm?
Perhaps she would render an opinion on the issue! Hmm?
Perhaps she would render an opinion on the issue! Hmm?
Perhaps there is something you could bring.
Perhaps there is something you could bring.
Perhaps there is something you could bring.
Perhaps there is something you could bring.
Perhaps we can work something out.
Perhaps we can work something out.
Perish the vile thought. I couldn't possibly.
Perish the vile thought. I couldn't possibly.
Perish the vile thought. I couldn't possibly.
Perish the vile thought. I couldn't possibly.
Please don't be sick! Please don't be sick!
Please don't be sick! Please don't be sick!
Please don't be sick! Please don't be sick!
Please don't be sick! Please don't be sick!
Please don't be tiresome. Jock!
Please don't be tiresome. Jock!
Please don't be tiresome. Jock!
Please don't be tiresome. Jock!
Please, sir, if you wouldn't mind
Please, sir, if you wouldn't mind
Please, sir. Just leave.
Please, sir. Just leave.
Please, will you make up
Please, will you make up
Pookie.
Pookie.
Pookie.
Pookie.
Poor Bronwen.
Poor Bronwen.
Poor Bronwen.
Poor Bronwen.
Poor Jock. He was frantic with worry.
Poor Jock. He was frantic with worry.
Poor old gal.
Poor old gal.
Poor old gal.
Poor old gal.
Possibly a gallon of your finest whiskey
Possibly a gallon of your finest whiskey
Possibly a gallon of your finest whiskey
Possibly a gallon of your finest whiskey
Precisely.
Precisely.
Probably less than a 20.
Probably less than a 20.
Proceed.
Proceed.
Proceed.
Proceed.
Questionable attack, Jock. Spirited, though.
Questionable attack, Jock. Spirited, though.
Quick session of congress.
Quick session of congress.
Quite a conundrum, this.
Quite a conundrum, this.
Quite.
Quite.
Quite.
Quite.
Quite.
Quite.
Quite.
Quite.
Quite.
Quite.
Quite.
Quite.
Quite.
Quite.
Radiant...
Radiant...
Radiant...
Radiant...
Rather annoying, really.
Rather annoying, really.
Rather annoying, really.
Rather annoying, really.
Rather simple job, wouldn't you say?
Rather simple job, wouldn't you say?
Really?
Really?
Really?
Really?
Recently, after we'd concluded the sale of a painting
Recently, after we'd concluded the sale of a painting
Recently, after we'd concluded the sale of a painting
Recently, after we'd concluded the sale of a painting
Recently, he's been working his way up to the wickedest.
Recently, he's been working his way up to the wickedest.
Recently, he's been working his way up to the wickedest.
Recently, he's been working his way up to the wickedest.
Releasing a fart
Releasing a fart
Releasing a fart
Releasing a fart
Remain in your seats, I would be grateful.
Remain in your seats, I would be grateful.
Remain in your seats, I would be grateful.
Remain in your seats, I would be grateful.
Replete with feints and distractions
Replete with feints and distractions
Replete with feints and distractions
Replete with feints and distractions
Reveal the codes and transfer the money.
Reveal the codes and transfer the money.
Reveal the codes and transfer the money.
Reveal the codes and transfer the money.
Right behind you as always, sir.
Right behind you as always, sir.
Right y oh.
Right y oh.
Right y oh.
Right y oh.
Right you are, madam.
Right you are, madam.
Right you are, sir.
Right you are, sir.
Right!
Right!
Right!
Right!
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right. Gosh, it's been ages.
Right. Gosh, it's been ages.
Right. I demand some explanations.
Right. I demand some explanations.
Right. I demand some explanations.
Right. I demand some explanations.
Right. Sorry.
Right. Sorry.
Right. Sorry.
Right. Sorry.
Right. Yes, well...
Right. Yes, well...
Right. Yes, well...
Right. Yes, well...
Right. You know, Bronwen called me
Right. You know, Bronwen called me
Right. You know, Bronwen called me
Right. You know, Bronwen called me
Rival art dealer and Goya specialist.
Rival art dealer and Goya specialist.
Rival art dealer and Goya specialist.
Rival art dealer and Goya specialist.
Roman Romanov.
Roman Romanov.
Roman Romanov.
Roman Romanov.
Romanov.
Romanov.
Romanov. Sir Graham's client.
Romanov. Sir Graham's client.
Romanov. Sir Graham's client.
Romanov. Sir Graham's client.
Room 326, overlooks the pool.
Room 326, overlooks the pool.
Room 326, overlooks the pool.
Room 326, overlooks the pool.
Rotten timing for him.
Rotten timing for him.
Run, I shall, like a bloody gazelle!
Run, I shall, like a bloody gazelle!
Run, I shall, like a bloody gazelle!
Run, I shall, like a bloody gazelle!
Sad news, particularly for her.
Sad news, particularly for her.
Say that again.
Say that again.
Say that again.
Say that again.
Score one for Martland.
Score one for Martland.
Score one for Mortdecai,
Score one for Mortdecai,
Score one for Mortdecai,
Score one for Mortdecai,
Score two.
Score two.
Score two.
Score two.
Sedgwick's Auction House in Kensington.
Sedgwick's Auction House in Kensington.
Sedgwick's Auction House in Kensington.
Sedgwick's Auction House in Kensington.
See what you can dig up about that Goya. Usual channels.
See what you can dig up about that Goya. Usual channels.
Send your camel to bed, damn it!
Send your camel to bed, damn it!
Send your camel to bed, damn it!
Send your camel to bed, damn it!
Sent her a Goya to be cleaned.
Sent her a Goya to be cleaned.
Sent her a Goya to be cleaned.
Sent her a Goya to be cleaned.
Seventeen thousand pounds, thank you very much.
Seventeen thousand pounds, thank you very much.
Shall we start the bidding at 17,000 pounds?
Shall we start the bidding at 17,000 pounds?
Shall we start the bidding at 100,000 pounds?
Shall we start the bidding at 100,000 pounds?
Shall we to business then, Fang?
Shall we to business then, Fang?
She never found the lost Goya. She painted it.
She never found the lost Goya. She painted it.
She never found the lost Goya. She painted it.
She never found the lost Goya. She painted it.
She was also said to have been the King's mistress.
She was also said to have been the King's mistress.
She'll come around, Jock. How could she not?
She'll come around, Jock. How could she not?
She'll come around, Jock. How could she not?
She'll come around, Jock. How could she not?
She's a well known nymphomaniac.
She's a well known nymphomaniac.
She's a well known nymphomaniac.
She's a well known nymphomaniac.
She's been through half the staff already.
She's been through half the staff already.
She's been through half the staff already.
She's been through half the staff already.
She's been unavailable for three months.
She's been unavailable for three months.
She's been unavailable for three months.
She's been unavailable for three months.
She's got prominent lips like me...
She's got prominent lips like me...
She's only human, sir.
She's only human, sir.
She's only human, sir.
She's only human, sir.
She's probably quite worried about me.
She's probably quite worried about me.
She's so damned attractive.
She's so damned attractive.
She's so damned attractive.
She's so damned attractive.
Sheik of Araby who seeks admission into your tent.
Sheik of Araby who seeks admission into your tent.
Sheik of Araby who seeks admission into your tent.
Sheik of Araby who seeks admission into your tent.
Shellfish at a catered affair?
Shellfish at a catered affair?
Shellfish at a catered affair?
Shellfish at a catered affair?
Should I send for some?
Should I send for some?
Should I send for some?
Should I send for some?
Show him the photographs. Excuse me.
Show him the photographs. Excuse me.
Show him the photographs. Excuse me.
Show him the photographs. Excuse me.
Shut the door.
Shut the door.
Shut the door.
Shut the door.
Sink the Bismarck, if you will.
Sink the Bismarck, if you will.
Sir Graham has been
Sir Graham has been
Sir Graham. A message for you, sir.
Sir Graham. A message for you, sir.
Sir Graham. A message for you, sir.
Sir Graham. A message for you, sir.
Sir, the switch.
Sir, the switch.
Sir, you're staring at your liquor.
Sir, you're staring at your liquor.
Sir, you're staring at your liquor.
Sir, you're staring at your liquor.
Sir!
Sir!
Sir!
Sir!
Sit down. Sit!
Sit down. Sit!
Sit down. Sit!
Sit down. Sit!
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Smash and grab.
Smash and grab.
So absolutely lovely.
So absolutely lovely.
So absolutely lovely.
So absolutely lovely.
So all I must do is show up,
So all I must do is show up,
So glad you called.
So glad you called.
So glad you called.
So glad you called.
So good for nothing pot of piss, innit?
So good for nothing pot of piss, innit?
So good for nothing pot of piss, innit?
So good for nothing pot of piss, innit?
So have I.
So have I.
So have I.
So have I.
So I am.
So I am.
So I am.
So I am.
So I believe that Bronwen
So I believe that Bronwen
So I believe that Bronwen
So I believe that Bronwen
So I got on the next plane. Surprised?
So I got on the next plane. Surprised?
So I got on the next plane. Surprised?
So I got on the next plane. Surprised?
So I have him to thank for this.
So I have him to thank for this.
So I have him to thank for this.
So I have him to thank for this.
So I won't quote him verbatim.
So I won't quote him verbatim.
So I won't quote him verbatim.
So I won't quote him verbatim.
So it's that sort of Goya.
So it's that sort of Goya.
So it's that sort of Goya.
So it's that sort of Goya.
So much to do.
So much to do.
So much to do.
So much to do.
So would you please stop grunting like wildebeests
So would you please stop grunting like wildebeests
So would you please stop grunting like wildebeests
So would you please stop grunting like wildebeests
So you admit there were indiscretions?
So you admit there were indiscretions?
So you admit there were indiscretions?
So you admit there were indiscretions?
So you take that.
So you take that.
So you take that.
So you take that.
So, I was a mule!
So, I was a mule!
Sold for 210,000 pounds.
Sold for 210,000 pounds.
Sold to the gentleman in the fuchsia ascot.
Sold to the gentleman in the fuchsia ascot.
Sold to the gentleman in the fuchsia ascot.
Sold to the gentleman in the fuchsia ascot.
Sold.
Sold.
Sold.
Sold.
Some discussion about your finger.
Some discussion about your finger.
Some discussion about your finger.
Some discussion about your finger.
Some final piece of my personal puzzle.
Some final piece of my personal puzzle.
Some rather pointed questions.
Some rather pointed questions.
Some rather pointed questions.
Some rather pointed questions.
Some say that Goya himself engineered the theft.
Some say that Goya himself engineered the theft.
Some warmed blinis, creme fraiche,
Some warmed blinis, creme fraiche,
Some warmed blinis, creme fraiche,
Some warmed blinis, creme fraiche,
Some women go blind batting their lashes
Some women go blind batting their lashes
Some women go blind batting their lashes
Some women go blind batting their lashes
Someone must have known I was coming.
Someone must have known I was coming.
Someone shooting at me!
Someone shooting at me!
Someone shooting at the bloody car!
Someone shooting at the bloody car!
Someone shooting at the bloody car!
Someone shooting at the bloody car!
Sometimes I say to myself, Charlie, where could it be?
Sometimes I say to myself, Charlie, where could it be?
Sometimes I say to myself, Charlie, where could it be?
Sometimes I say to myself, Charlie, where could it be?
Sometimes, you know, how it's like a...
Sometimes, you know, how it's like a...
Sometimes, you know, how it's like a...
Sometimes, you know, how it's like a...
Sony, sir. We'll try and keep it down.
Sony, sir. We'll try and keep it down.
Sorry, Inspector Martland, sir.
Sorry, Inspector Martland, sir.
Sorry, Inspector Martland, sir.
Sorry, Inspector Martland, sir.
Sorry, sir. I had no idea, sir.
Sorry, sir. I had no idea, sir.
Sorry, sir. I had no idea, sir.
Sorry, sir. I had no idea, sir.
Sorry, there was a queue.
Sorry, there was a queue.
Sorry, there was a queue.
Sorry, there was a queue.
Sorry, twice over.
Sorry, twice over.
Sorry, twice over.
Sorry, twice over.
Sorry?
Sorry?
Sorry?
Sorry?
Sorry. You were saying?
Sorry. You were saying?
Sorry. You were saying?
Sorry. You were saying?
Sort of cement brothel, my love.
Sort of cement brothel, my love.
Spinoza then secrets the painting into the Rolls
Spinoza then secrets the painting into the Rolls
Spinoza then secrets the painting into the Rolls
Spinoza then secrets the painting into the Rolls
Spinoza was the best art smuggler in the business,
Spinoza was the best art smuggler in the business,
Spinoza, you silver tongued scallywag.
Spinoza, you silver tongued scallywag.
Starburst!
Starburst!
Starburst!
Starburst!
Stay away from Krampf's daughter.
Stay away from Krampf's daughter.
Stay away from Krampf's daughter.
Stay away from Krampf's daughter.
Steal the painting from Bronwen.
Steal the painting from Bronwen.
Stealthy, man, stealthy.
Stealthy, man, stealthy.
Still, if he can't make it, he can't make it.
Still, if he can't make it, he can't make it.
Still, if he can't make it, he can't make it.
Still, if he can't make it, he can't make it.
Stop right there!
Stop right there!
Stop right there!
Stop right there!
Stop! Stop!
Stop! Stop!
Stop! Stop!
Stop! Stop!
Strago and Georgina fled,
Strago and Georgina fled,
Strange country.
Strange country.
Strange country.
Strange country.
Suffice it to say,
Suffice it to say,
Suffice it to say,
Suffice it to say,
Surely you mean the pubic hair above a vagina.
Surely you mean the pubic hair above a vagina.
Surely you mean the pubic hair above a vagina.
Surely you mean the pubic hair above a vagina.
Surrounded by all that
Surrounded by all that
Surrounded by all that
Surrounded by all that
Tell him to ring back
Tell him to ring back
Tell him to ring back
Tell him to ring back
Tell me the name of that nympho daughter of Krampf's!
Tell me the name of that nympho daughter of Krampf's!
Tell me the name of that nympho daughter of Krampf's!
Tell me the name of that nympho daughter of Krampf's!
Tell me.
Tell me.
Ten million pounds from Lord Mortdecai himself.
Ten million pounds from Lord Mortdecai himself.
Ten million pounds.
Ten million pounds.
Ten million pounds.
Ten million pounds.
Ten percent, sir.
Ten percent, sir.
Ten percent, sir.
Ten percent, sir.
Terribly sorry for your loss, madam.
Terribly sorry for your loss, madam.
Terribly sorry for your loss, madam.
Terribly sorry for your loss, madam.
Terribly sorry, sworn to secrecy.
Terribly sorry, sworn to secrecy.
Terribly sorry, sworn to secrecy.
Terribly sorry, sworn to secrecy.
Terribly sorry.
Terribly sorry.
Terror attacks all around the world.
Terror attacks all around the world.
Thank heaven.
Thank heaven.
Thank heaven.
Thank heaven.
Thank heavens.
Thank heavens.
Thank you ever so much for letting me confide in you.
Thank you ever so much for letting me confide in you.
Thank you ever so much for letting me confide in you.
Thank you ever so much for letting me confide in you.
Thank you so much, Vladimir.
Thank you so much, Vladimir.
Thank you so much, Vladimir.
Thank you so much, Vladimir.
Thank you very much for your time.
Thank you very much for your time.
Thank you very much for your time.
Thank you very much for your time.
Thank you, madam, 500,000.
Thank you, madam, 500,000.
Thank you, Maurice.
Thank you, Maurice.
Thank you, Maurice.
Thank you, Maurice.
Thank you, Maurice.
Thank you, Maurice.
Thank you, Maurice.
Thank you, Maurice.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. (CLEARS THROAT)
Thank you. (CLEARS THROAT)
Thank you. No hard feelings.
Thank you. No hard feelings.
Thank you. No hard feelings.
Thank you. No hard feelings.
Thanks.
Thanks.
That ghastly chap who stole Helen of Troy
That ghastly chap who stole Helen of Troy
That ghastly chap who stole Helen of Troy
That ghastly chap who stole Helen of Troy
That I feared she had done herself
That I feared she had done herself
That I feared she had done herself
That I feared she had done herself
That I love you
That I love you
That I've bumped my head...
That I've bumped my head...
That is a superb Hulihee sans sideburn,
That is a superb Hulihee sans sideburn,
That is a superb Hulihee sans sideburn,
That is a superb Hulihee sans sideburn,
That is disappointing.
That is disappointing.
That is disappointing.
That is disappointing.
That is not the same painting as the others.
That is not the same painting as the others.
That is not the same painting as the others.
That is not the same painting as the others.
That is not your Goya.
That is not your Goya.
That is not your Goya.
That is not your Goya.
That Judas! That Ajax! That Paris!
That Judas! That Ajax! That Paris!
That Judas! That Ajax! That Paris!
That Judas! That Ajax! That Paris!
That my coup d'arret is still whispered about
That my coup d'arret is still whispered about
That my coup d'arret is still whispered about
That my coup d'arret is still whispered about
That painted lady you've been searching for,
That painted lady you've been searching for,
That painted lady you've been searching for,
That painted lady you've been searching for,
That painting could be anywhere by now, sir.
That painting could be anywhere by now, sir.
That painting could be anywhere by now, sir.
That painting could be anywhere by now, sir.
That painting should be destroyed.
That painting should be destroyed.
That painting should be destroyed.
That painting should be destroyed.
That painting was a fake.
That painting was a fake.
That painting was a fake.
That painting was a fake.
That the Goya's back in play.
That the Goya's back in play.
That the Goya's back in play.
That the Goya's back in play.
That this was not the first time I had shot Jock.
That this was not the first time I had shot Jock.
That this was not the first time I had shot Jock.
That this was not the first time I had shot Jock.
That we are staring down the barrel of insolvency.
That we are staring down the barrel of insolvency.
That we are staring down the barrel of insolvency.
That we are staring down the barrel of insolvency.
That you very nearly caused an international incident.
That you very nearly caused an international incident.
That you very nearly caused an international incident.
That you very nearly caused an international incident.
That... Well... Quite.
That... Well... Quite.
That... Well... Quite.
That... Well... Quite.
That'd be awful.
That'd be awful.
That'd be awful.
That'd be awful.
That's me.
That's me.
That's me.
That's me.
That's my bottom.
That's my bottom.
That's my bottom. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
That's my bottom. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
That's my bottom. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
That's my bottom. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
That's not cricket!
That's not cricket!
That's not cricket!
That's not cricket!
That's not natural.
That's not natural.
That's not natural.
That's not natural.
That's the old feudal spirit, Jock.
That's the old feudal spirit, Jock.
That's the old feudal spirit, Jock.
That's the old feudal spirit, Jock.
Thawing on the subject of the moustache?
Thawing on the subject of the moustache?
Thawing on the subject of the moustache?
Thawing on the subject of the moustache?
The 26th, sir.
The 26th, sir.
The auction got it.
The auction got it.
The auction got it.
The auction got it.
The auction starts at 5:00 p. m.
The auction starts at 5:00 p. m.
The auction starts at 5:00 p.m.
The auction starts at 5:00 p.m.
The beast you are about to receive.
The beast you are about to receive.
The beast you are about to receive.
The beast you are about to receive.
The car has been loaded upon
The car has been loaded upon
The car has been loaded upon
The car has been loaded upon
The codes to his numbered Swiss bank account.
The codes to his numbered Swiss bank account.
The codes to his numbered Swiss bank account.
The codes to his numbered Swiss bank account.
The codes to his numbered Swiss bank account.
The codes to his numbered Swiss bank account.
The door? Please?
The door? Please?
The door? Please?
The door? Please?
The Duchess of Wellington is in Bunny's loo.
The Duchess of Wellington is in Bunny's loo.
The Duchess of Wellington.
The Duchess of Wellington.
The Duchess of Wellington.
The Duchess of Wellington.
The Duchess pops up again in France in 1943,
The Duchess pops up again in France in 1943,
The Duchess pops up again in France in 1943,
The Duchess pops up again in France in 1943,
The Duke is Bunny.
The Duke is Bunny.
The Duke is Bunny.
The Duke is Bunny.
The Duke kept trying to get me to go into his lavatory
The Duke kept trying to get me to go into his lavatory
The Duke kept trying to get me to go into his lavatory
The Duke kept trying to get me to go into his lavatory
The Duke of Asherboroughdon.
The Duke of Asherboroughdon.
The Duke of Asherboroughdon.
The Duke of Asherboroughdon.
The Duke told me that Bunny has the painting,
The Duke told me that Bunny has the painting,
The Duke told me that Bunny has the painting,
The Duke told me that Bunny has the painting,
The expert brushstrokes, the smooth lines...
The expert brushstrokes, the smooth lines...
The expert brushstrokes, the smooth lines...
The expert brushstrokes, the smooth lines...
The fact that you're as drunk as a fiddler's bitch
The fact that you're as drunk as a fiddler's bitch
The fact that you're as drunk as a fiddler's bitch
The fact that you're as drunk as a fiddler's bitch
The file was fat and well handled,
The file was fat and well handled,
The file was fat and well handled,
The file was fat and well handled,
The fine life giving drinks tray manifests itself.
The fine life giving drinks tray manifests itself.
The fine life giving drinks tray manifests itself.
The fine life giving drinks tray manifests itself.
The fine life giving drinks tray manifests itself.
The fine life giving drinks tray manifests itself.
The fine wine?
The fine wine?
The fine wine?
The fine wine?
The Goya she was cleaning.
The Goya she was cleaning.
The Goya she was cleaning.
The Goya she was cleaning.
The guest bedroom for Mr. Mortdecai?
The guest bedroom for Mr. Mortdecai?
The guest bedroom for Mr. Mortdecai?
The guest bedroom for Mr. Mortdecai?
The local authorities were displeased.
The local authorities were displeased.
The Mortdecai men have always
The Mortdecai men have always
The moustache, I mean.
The moustache, I mean.
The moustache, I mean.
The moustache, I mean.
The only advice I offer is you do not apply
The only advice I offer is you do not apply
The only advice I offer is you do not apply
The only advice I offer is you do not apply
The only safe ground is English soil.
The only safe ground is English soil.
The painting she was working on in the end...
The painting she was working on in the end...
The painting she was working on in the end...
The painting she was working on in the end...
The painting, Your Grace.
The painting, Your Grace.
The painting, Your Grace.
The painting, Your Grace.
The Qianlong vase.
The Qianlong vase.
The Queen was unamused.
The Queen was unamused.
The Queen was unamused.
The Queen was unamused.
The rest was a bit rude,
The rest was a bit rude,
The Rolls.
The Rolls.
The Rolls.
The Rolls.
The rooms here are made of cement.
The rooms here are made of cement.
The rooms here are made of cement.
The rooms here are made of cement.
The rudest man in England for years.
The rudest man in England for years.
The rudest man in England for years.
The rudest man in England for years.
The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.
The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.
The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.
The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.
The sale of your Rolls Royce to Krampf
The sale of your Rolls Royce to Krampf
The sale of your Rolls Royce to Krampf
The sale of your Rolls Royce to Krampf
The truth is nice, but a rumor is priceless.
The truth is nice, but a rumor is priceless.
The truth is nice, but a rumor is priceless.
The truth is nice, but a rumor is priceless.
The water bailiff, Your Grace.
The water bailiff, Your Grace.
The water bailiff, Your Grace.
The water bailiff, Your Grace.
The whacking Cloud, the bollock Royce!
The whacking Cloud, the bollock Royce!
The whacking Cloud, the bollock Royce!
The whacking Cloud, the bollock Royce!
The woman bred! What an odious thought.
The woman bred! What an odious thought.
The woman bred! What an odious thought.
The woman bred! What an odious thought.
The work of art with which
The work of art with which
The work of art with which
The work of art with which
The wrong hands again.
The wrong hands again.
Then found out it is worth only one!
Then found out it is worth only one!
Then found out it is worth only one!
Then found out it is worth only one!
Then I deny nothing.
Then I deny nothing.
Then I deny nothing.
Then I deny nothing.
Then I deny nothing.
Then I deny nothing.
Then it is money we shall have.
Then it is money we shall have.
Then it is money we shall have.
Then it is money we shall have.
Then the Goya disappears without a trace.
Then the Goya disappears without a trace.
Then the Goya disappears without a trace.
Then the Goya disappears without a trace.
Then we'll show it to them.
Then we'll show it to them.
Then we'll show it to them.
Then we'll show it to them.
Then you meet me 'round the back later,
Then you meet me 'round the back later,
Then you meet me 'round the back later,
Then you meet me 'round the back later,
There has never been
There has never been
There he is. Now don't cause a panic.
There he is. Now don't cause a panic.
There is more here than meets the eye.
There is more here than meets the eye.
There is more here than meets the eye.
There is more here than meets the eye.
There you are. 2,642 pounds.
There you are. 2,642 pounds.
There's a great deal of money involved.
There's a great deal of money involved.
There's a great deal of money involved.
There's a great deal of money involved.
There's a lovely sky here.
There's a lovely sky here.
There's a lovely sky here.
There's a lovely sky here.
There's a very bad man who wants what I want,
There's a very bad man who wants what I want,
There's a very bad man who wants what I want,
There's a very bad man who wants what I want,
There's been a jurisdictional change.
There's been a jurisdictional change.
There's been a jurisdictional change.
There's been a jurisdictional change.
There's more, there's more, there's more...
There's more, there's more, there's more...
There's more, there's more, there's more...
There's more, there's more, there's more...
There's only one reason
There's only one reason
There's only one reason
There's only one reason
There's something missing, you see.
There's something missing, you see.
There's their car!
There's their car!
These were found in her camera.
These were found in her camera.
They most certainly are, darling.
They most certainly are, darling.
They most certainly are, darling.
They most certainly are, darling.
They won't take our word for it.
They won't take our word for it.
They won't take our word for it.
They won't take our word for it.
They'd be arrested on the spot.
They'd be arrested on the spot.
They'd be arrested on the spot.
They'd be arrested on the spot.
They'll want to see it themselves.
They'll want to see it themselves.
They'll want to see it themselves.
They'll want to see it themselves.
They're putting him on the next flight to Heathrow.
They're putting him on the next flight to Heathrow.
They're putting him on the next flight to Heathrow.
They're putting him on the next flight to Heathrow.
Thirty five thousand pounds.
Thirty five thousand pounds.
Thirty million. Final offer!
Thirty million. Final offer!
Thirty million. Final offer!
Thirty million. Final offer!
This bit?
This bit?
This bit?
This bit?
This fair land of the free!
This fair land of the free!
This fair land of the free!
This fair land of the free!
This is just the old smash and grab business.
This is just the old smash and grab business.
This is just the old smash and grab business.
This is just the old smash and grab business.
This is not a breast in my hand!
This is not a breast in my hand!
This is not the first time I've shot Jock.
This is not the first time I've shot Jock.
This is not the first time I've shot Jock.
This is not the first time I've shot Jock.
This may be a customary greeting in America.
This may be a customary greeting in America.
This may be a customary greeting in America.
This may be a customary greeting in America.
This one taken by accident, utterly useless...
This one taken by accident, utterly useless...
This one taken by accident, utterly useless...
This one taken by accident, utterly useless...
This place is an absolute mausoleum on one's own.
This place is an absolute mausoleum on one's own.
This place is an absolute mausoleum on one's own.
This place is an absolute mausoleum on one's own.
This thing that's come between us.
This thing that's come between us.
This thing that's come between us.
This thing that's come between us.
This will be easier and much less painful
This will be easier and much less painful
This will be easier and much less painful
This will be easier and much less painful
Those bank codes won't fall into
Those bank codes won't fall into
Thoughts?
Thoughts?
Thoughts?
Thoughts?
Threatening the lives of your countrymen.
Threatening the lives of your countrymen.
Threatening the lives of your countrymen.
Threatening the lives of your countrymen.
Three.
Three.
Thursday, sir.
Thursday, sir.
Thursday, sir.
Thursday, sir.
To a certain type of woman!
To a certain type of woman!
To a certain type of woman!
To a certain type of woman!
To a certain viewpoint. That is all.
To a certain viewpoint. That is all.
To a certain viewpoint. That is all.
To a certain viewpoint. That is all.
To a man with principles.
To a man with principles.
To a wealthy turkey farmer...
To a wealthy turkey farmer...
To a wealthy turkey farmer...
To a wealthy turkey farmer...
To another of our embassies for help
To another of our embassies for help
To another of our embassies for help
To another of our embassies for help
To disastrous effect upon the world.
To disastrous effect upon the world.
To disastrous effect upon the world.
To disastrous effect upon the world.
To express his feelings to her.
To express his feelings to her.
To express his feelings to her.
To express his feelings to her.
To Johanna at lunch today.
To Johanna at lunch today.
To Johanna at lunch today.
To Johanna at lunch today.
To look at his John Thomas.
To look at his John Thomas.
To look at his John Thomas.
To look at his John Thomas.
To move it on the open market.
To move it on the open market.
To move it on the open market.
To move it on the open market.
To my client, Milton Krampf,
To my client, Milton Krampf,
To my client, Milton Krampf,
To my client, Milton Krampf,
To paint her in 1792.
To paint her in 1792.
To please another, know this:
To please another, know this:
To sell off some of my prized possessions.
To sell off some of my prized possessions.
To sell off some of my prized possessions.
To sell off some of my prized possessions.
To smuggle a painting out of the country recently.
To smuggle a painting out of the country recently.
To smuggle a painting out of the country recently.
To smuggle a painting out of the country recently.
To that thick fingered American, Krampf.
To that thick fingered American, Krampf.
To that thick fingered American, Krampf.
To that thick fingered American, Krampf.
To that vulgar American, Milton Krampf,
To that vulgar American, Milton Krampf,
To that vulgar American, Milton Krampf,
To that vulgar American, Milton Krampf,
To the Embassy, chop chop.
To the Embassy, chop chop.
To the Embassy, chop chop.
To the Embassy, chop chop.
To the library, chaps!
To the library, chaps!
To the library, chaps!
To the library, chaps!
To the tune of eight million quid, old boy.
To the tune of eight million quid, old boy.
To the tune of eight million quid, old boy.
To the tune of eight million quid, old boy.
To what do I owe the pleasure?
To what do I owe the pleasure?
To what do I owe the pleasure?
To what do I owe the pleasure?
Told ya.
Told ya.
Told ya.
Told ya.
Tomorrow we shall sell off the Rolls
Tomorrow we shall sell off the Rolls
Too hard on Sir Graham,
Too hard on Sir Graham,
Too hard on Sir Graham,
Too hard on Sir Graham,
Travel and living expenses, reasonable overhead.
Travel and living expenses, reasonable overhead.
Travel and living expenses, reasonable overhead.
Travel and living expenses, reasonable overhead.
Truce?
Truce?
Try me.
Try me.
Twenty five and a half! 26 and a quarter!
Twenty five and a half! 26 and a quarter!
Twenty five million.
Twenty five million.
Twenty five million.
Twenty five million.
Twenty five thousand pounds.
Twenty five thousand pounds.
Twenty five thousand pounds.
Twenty five thousand pounds.
Two hundred. Very good. Do we have three?
Two hundred. Very good. Do we have three?
Two hundred. Very good. Do we have three?
Two hundred. Very good. Do we have three?
Ugh, go stuff a mattress with that thing!
Ugh, go stuff a mattress with that thing!
Ugh, go stuff a mattress with that thing!
Ugh, go stuff a mattress with that thing!
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh...
Ugh...
Ugh...
Ugh...
Uh, Branspath? Okay. Thank you so much.
Uh, Branspath? Okay. Thank you so much.
Uh, Branspath? Okay. Thank you so much.
Uh, Branspath? Okay. Thank you so much.
Uh, less commission, carrying,
Uh, less commission, carrying,
Uh, less commission, carrying,
Uh, less commission, carrying,
Uh, maths were never my strong suit.
Uh, maths were never my strong suit.
Uh, maths were never my strong suit.
Uh, maths were never my strong suit.
Uh, no. We have two items of business.
Uh, no. We have two items of business.
Uh, no. We have two items of business.
Uh, no. We have two items of business.
Uh, she was said to be his greatest masterpiece.
Uh, she was said to be his greatest masterpiece.
Uh, she was said to be his greatest masterpiece.
Uh, she was said to be his greatest masterpiece.
Uh, Spinoza, I did not come here to discuss
Uh, Spinoza, I did not come here to discuss
Uh, Spinoza, I did not come here to discuss
Uh, Spinoza, I did not come here to discuss
Uh...
Uh...
Uh...
Uh...
Unfortunately,
Unfortunately,
Unremarkable.
Unremarkable.
Untold riches and all that, what?
Untold riches and all that, what?
Untold riches and all that, what?
Untold riches and all that, what?
Up to London in the morning?
Up to London in the morning?
Up to London in the morning?
Up to London in the morning?
Uppy. uppy, Jock!
Uppy. uppy, Jock!
Usual dirt and grime one finds on the Spaniards.
Usual dirt and grime one finds on the Spaniards.
Usual dirt and grime one finds on the Spaniards.
Usual dirt and grime one finds on the Spaniards.
Valet!
Valet!
Very disappointing.
Very disappointing.
Very disappointing.
Very disappointing.
Very good in case of an air raid.
Very good in case of an air raid.
Very good in case of an air raid.
Very good in case of an air raid.
Very good, madam.
Very good, madam.
Very well, Johanna.
Very well, Johanna.
Very well, Johanna.
Very well, Johanna.
Very, very rare.
Very, very rare.
Very, very rare.
Very, very rare.
Very, very sorry about everything.
Very, very sorry about everything.
Very.
Very.
Very.
Very.
Vladimir, please to take Mr. Mortdecai's trousers down.
Vladimir, please to take Mr. Mortdecai's trousers down.
Vladimir, please to take Mr. Mortdecai's trousers down.
Vladimir, please to take Mr. Mortdecai's trousers down.
Want to die...
Want to die...
Want to die...
Want to die...
Was a matter of some overdue bills on the Rolls,
Was a matter of some overdue bills on the Rolls,
Was a matter of some overdue bills on the Rolls,
Was a matter of some overdue bills on the Rolls,
Was arriving home
Was arriving home
Was arriving home
Was arriving home
Was working on the Goya
Was working on the Goya
Was working on the Goya
Was working on the Goya
Water bailiff.
Water bailiff.
Water bailiff.
Water bailiff.
We are going to enter the Goya into the auction,
We are going to enter the Goya into the auction,
We are going to enter the Goya into the auction,
We are going to enter the Goya into the auction,
We are in love.
We are in love.
We are in love.
We are in love.
We cannot go about selling off family heirlooms willy nilly.
We cannot go about selling off family heirlooms willy nilly.
We climb up the side
We climb up the side
We climb up the side
We climb up the side
We hurried back to Mortdecai Manor,
We hurried back to Mortdecai Manor,
We may be flat broke, my darling,
We may be flat broke, my darling,
We may be flat broke, my darling,
We may be flat broke, my darling,
We must go shooting again. Jock has fully recovered.
We must go shooting again. Jock has fully recovered.
We must go shooting again. Jock has fully recovered.
We must go shooting again. Jock has fully recovered.
We must go shooting again. Jock has fully recovered.
We must go shooting again. Jock has fully recovered.
We must secure the painting,
We must secure the painting,
We need eight million.
We need eight million.
We need eight million.
We need eight million.
We'll have your things sent over from the hotel.
We'll have your things sent over from the hotel.
We'll have your things sent over from the hotel.
We'll have your things sent over from the hotel.
We'll make a switch.
We'll make a switch.
We'll meet in London tomorrow.
We'll meet in London tomorrow.
We'll meet in London tomorrow.
We'll meet in London tomorrow.
We're Lot Seven.
We're Lot Seven.
We're Lot Seven.
We're Lot Seven.
We're not savages, after all, are we?
We're not savages, after all, are we?
We're not savages, after all, are we?
We're not savages, after all, are we?
We're talking about a bloodthirsty extremist
We're talking about a bloodthirsty extremist
We're talking about a bloodthirsty extremist
We're talking about a bloodthirsty extremist
Weenie, weenie, weenie, weenie, weenie...
Weenie, weenie, weenie, weenie, weenie...
Weenie, weenie, weenie, weenie, weenie...
Weenie, weenie, weenie, weenie, weenie...
Weenie, weenie, weenie, weenie, weenie...
Weenie, weenie, weenie, weenie, weenie...
Welcome to Russia, Mr. Mortdecai.
Welcome to Russia, Mr. Mortdecai.
Welcome to Russia, Mr. Mortdecai.
Welcome to Russia, Mr. Mortdecai.
Welcome to Sedgwick's
Welcome to Sedgwick's
Welcome to Sedgwick's
Welcome to Sedgwick's
Welcome to Sedgwick's
Welcome to Sedgwick's
Well done, Jock!
Well done, Jock!
Well done, Jock!
Well done, Jock!
Well done, Jock.
Well done, Jock.
Well done, Jockie.
Well done, Jockie.
Well done, sir.
Well done, sir.
Well done, sir.
Well done, sir.
Well done.
Well done.
Well then, Mr. Krampf. I suppose since you're here
Well then, Mr. Krampf. I suppose since you're here
Well then, Mr. Krampf. I suppose since you're here
Well then, Mr. Krampf. I suppose since you're here
Well, at least none of us had the shellfish.
Well, at least none of us had the shellfish.
Well, at least none of us had the shellfish.
Well, at least none of us had the shellfish.
Well, come on, then.
Well, come on, then.
Well, come on, then.
Well, come on, then.
Well, good luck, mate.
Well, good luck, mate.
Well, good luck, mate.
Well, good luck, mate.
Well, have it your way, Fang.
Well, have it your way, Fang.
Well, he's colorblind and he's allergic to cashews.
Well, he's colorblind and he's allergic to cashews.
Well, he's colorblind and he's allergic to cashews.
Well, he's colorblind and he's allergic to cashews.
Well, I don't know. I don't know.
Well, I don't know. I don't know.
Well, I think I'm staying in some
Well, I think I'm staying in some
Well, I think our work here is done.
Well, I think our work here is done.
Well, I think our work here is done.
Well, I think our work here is done.
Well, I will tell you that
Well, I will tell you that
Well, I will tell you that
Well, I will tell you that
Well, I'm delivering the Rolls to that grotesque
Well, I'm delivering the Rolls to that grotesque
Well, I'm delivering the Rolls to that grotesque
Well, I'm delivering the Rolls to that grotesque
Well, if my men start asking questions,
Well, if my men start asking questions,
Well, if you won't do it for me,
Well, if you won't do it for me,
Well, if you won't do it for me,
Well, if you won't do it for me,
Well, in my case,
Well, in my case,
Well, in my case,
Well, in my case,
Well, in that case, Mr. Mortdecai,
Well, in that case, Mr. Mortdecai,
Well, in that case, Mr. Mortdecai,
Well, in that case, Mr. Mortdecai,
Well, it must have been his dealer.
Well, it must have been his dealer.
Well, it must have been his dealer.
Well, it must have been his dealer.
Well, it was long ago, and she was underage,
Well, it was long ago, and she was underage,
Well, it was long ago, and she was underage,
Well, it was long ago, and she was underage,
Well, maybe he won't be able to make it.
Well, maybe he won't be able to make it.
Well, maybe he won't be able to make it.
Well, maybe he won't be able to make it.
Well, of course, Alastair.
Well, of course, Alastair.
Well, of course, Alastair.
Well, of course, Alastair.
Well, sir... I've been thinking...
Well, sir... I've been thinking...
Well, sir... I've been thinking...
Well, sir... I've been thinking...
Well, that's classified information, I'm afraid.
Well, that's classified information, I'm afraid.
Well, that's what Emil's after.
Well, that's what Emil's after.
Well, that's what Emil's after.
Well, that's what Emil's after.
Well, the lady with the hair and brain.
Well, the lady with the hair and brain.
Well, the lady with the hair and brain.
Well, the lady with the hair and brain.
Well, the water bailiff won't bother him now.
Well, the water bailiff won't bother him now.
Well, the water bailiff won't bother him now.
Well, the water bailiff won't bother him now.
Well, we believe he entered the country
Well, we believe he entered the country
Well, we believe he entered the country
Well, we believe he entered the country
Well, what are you doing there?
Well, what are you doing there?
Well, what are you doing there?
Well, what are you doing there?
Well, where is the last place you saw it?
Well, where is the last place you saw it?
What are we talking about here?
What are we talking about here?
What are we talking about here?
What are we talking about here?
What do we do next?
What do we do next?
What do we do next?
What do we do next?
What do you make of this Bronwen business, eh?
What do you make of this Bronwen business, eh?
What do you make of this Bronwen business, eh?
What do you make of this Bronwen business, eh?
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
What do you plan to do about it?
What do you plan to do about it?
What do you plan to do about it?
What do you plan to do about it?
What do you think?
What do you think?
What does Strago want with it?
What does Strago want with it?
What does Strago want with it?
What does Strago want with it?
What does that blighter want?
What does that blighter want?
What does that blighter want?
What does that blighter want?
What have you done now, man?
What have you done now, man?
What have you done now, man?
What have you done now, man?
What have you found?
What have you found?
What if I find it for you? Say, 30% finder's fee, what?
What if I find it for you? Say, 30% finder's fee, what?
What if it isn't just a tiff?
What if it isn't just a tiff?
What if it isn't just a tiff?
What if it isn't just a tiff?
What if this is the well known it, as it were?
What if this is the well known it, as it were?
What if this is the well known it, as it were?
What if this is the well known it, as it were?
What is all this nonsense?
What is all this nonsense?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is that infernal thing on your lip?
What is that infernal thing on your lip?
What is that infernal thing on your lip?
What is that infernal thing on your lip?
What kind of hell place is this?
What kind of hell place is this?
What makes you think I have it?
What makes you think I have it?
What painting?
What painting?
What painting?
What painting?
What should I do now?
What should I do now?
What should I do now?
What should I do now?
What the situation requires now
What the situation requires now
What the situation requires now
What the situation requires now
What was that?
What was that?
What was that?
What was that?
What was the name of Bronwen's college at Oxford?
What was the name of Bronwen's college at Oxford?
What was the name of Bronwen's college at Oxford?
What was the name of Bronwen's college at Oxford?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What's in it for me, as they say?
What's in it for me, as they say?
What's that? Funny. Ah!
What's that? Funny. Ah!
What's that? Funny. Ah!
What's that? Funny. Ah!
What's the matter with you, eh?
What's the matter with you, eh?
What's your sudden interest, if I may ask?
What's your sudden interest, if I may ask?
What's your sudden interest, if I may ask?
What's your sudden interest, if I may ask?
When he finds out he bought the wrong fake.
When he finds out he bought the wrong fake.
When he finds out he bought the wrong fake.
When he finds out he bought the wrong fake.
When my marriage isn't falling apart.
When my marriage isn't falling apart.
When she discovered the Goya,
When she discovered the Goya,
When the allies captured Goering...
When the allies captured Goering...
When the allies captured Goering...
When the allies captured Goering...
Where are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?
Where do you find the time?
Where do you find the time?
Where have I seen that hand before in the background?
Where have I seen that hand before in the background?
Where is he?
Where is he?
Where is Mortdecai?
Where is Mortdecai?
Where is the painting?
Where is the painting?
Where is the painting?
Where is the painting?
Where my beloved wife, Johanna,
Where my beloved wife, Johanna,
Where my beloved wife, Johanna,
Where my beloved wife, Johanna,
Where to, sir?
Where to, sir?
Where would you like to go, sir?
Where would you like to go, sir?
Where would you like to go, sir?
Where would you like to go, sir?
Whether any unsavory types have enlisted you
Whether any unsavory types have enlisted you
Whether any unsavory types have enlisted you
Whether any unsavory types have enlisted you
Whew! Uh...
Whew! Uh...
Whew! Uh...
Whew! Uh...
Which can be occasionally problematic.
Which can be occasionally problematic.
Which can be occasionally problematic.
Which can be occasionally problematic.
Which cannot be right
Which cannot be right
Which Duke?
Which Duke?
Which Duke?
Which Duke?
Which I am sorry to report has been...
Which I am sorry to report has been...
Which I am sorry to report has been...
Which I am sorry to report has been...
Which I had now asked him to package
Which I had now asked him to package
Which I had now asked him to package
Which I had now asked him to package
Which I have reluctantly agreed to sell
Which I have reluctantly agreed to sell
Which I have reluctantly agreed to sell
Which I have reluctantly agreed to sell
Which lady?
Which lady?
Which we might enjoy...
Which we might enjoy...
While the market's right.
While the market's right.
While the market's right.
While the market's right.
Whilst I'm engaged in thus heroics?
Whilst I'm engaged in thus heroics?
Whilst I'm engaged in thus heroics?
Whilst I'm engaged in thus heroics?
Whilst you were away, my darling.
Whilst you were away, my darling.
Whilst you were away, my darling.
Whilst you were away, my darling.
Who is this guy?
Who is this guy?
Who is this guy?
Who is this guy?
Who is this woman Mortdecai and what does she want? Hmm?
Who is this woman Mortdecai and what does she want? Hmm?
Who is this?
Who is this?
Who said that kissing a man without
Who said that kissing a man without
Who said that kissing a man without
Who said that kissing a man without
Who's the client?
Who's the client?
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa! (LAUGHING) What is that?
Whoa! (LAUGHING) What is that?
Whoa! What is that?
Whoa! What is that?
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whom exactly?
Whom exactly?
Whom exactly?
Whom exactly?
Why can't you invest in saving us from financial ruin?
Why can't you invest in saving us from financial ruin?
Why can't you invest in saving us from financial ruin?
Why can't you invest in saving us from financial ruin?
Why did it have to be art?
Why did it have to be art?
Why did it have to be art?
Why did it have to be art?
Why don't you test the vase instead?
Why don't you test the vase instead?
Why I shouldn't arrest you right now?
Why I shouldn't arrest you right now?
Why I shouldn't arrest you right now?
Why I shouldn't arrest you right now?
Why is Dmitri obsessed with testicula?
Why is Dmitri obsessed with testicula?
Why is Dmitri obsessed with testicula?
Why is Dmitri obsessed with testicula?
Why should I have to?
Why should I have to?
Why wasn't I told?
Why wasn't I told?
Why wasn't I told?
Why wasn't I told?
Why would Ml5 be interested
Why would Ml5 be interested
Why, this is an outrage! There's not an ocean vista
Why, this is an outrage! There's not an ocean vista
Why, this is an outrage! There's not an ocean vista
Why, this is an outrage! There's not an ocean vista
Will do some good. Yes.
Will do some good. Yes.
Will I be given a badge, nestled in some sort of
Will I be given a badge, nestled in some sort of
Will I be given a badge, nestled in some sort of
Will I be given a badge, nestled in some sort of
Will it be all right in the end?
Will it be all right in the end?
Will it be all right in the end?
Will it be all right in the end?
Will it be all right in the end?
Will it be all right in the end?
Will it be all right in the end?
Will it be all right in the end?
Will offer you a perfect cover.
Will offer you a perfect cover.
Will offer you a perfect cover.
Will offer you a perfect cover.
Will you? Huh?
Will you? Huh?
Will you? Huh?
Will you? Huh?
With a failed poet! Oh!
With a failed poet! Oh!
With a steel chair in hand.
With a steel chair in hand.
With a steel chair in hand.
With a steel chair in hand.
With an arrow out of her back.
With an arrow out of her back.
With an arrow out of her back.
With an arrow out of her back.
With more respect when you drive it
With more respect when you drive it
With more respect when you drive it
With more respect when you drive it
With one of the art world's greatest mysteries.
With one of the art world's greatest mysteries.
With some off the record help
With some off the record help
With some off the record help
With some off the record help
With the purpose of finding that painting.
With the purpose of finding that painting.
With the purpose of finding that painting.
With the purpose of finding that painting.
With the seedier side of art collecting.
With the seedier side of art collecting.
With the seedier side of art collecting.
With the seedier side of art collecting.
With your permission, of course.
With your permission, of course.
With your permission, of course.
With your permission, of course.
Within miles of this establishment.
Within miles of this establishment.
Within miles of this establishment.
Within miles of this establishment.
Without pay or lodging?
Without pay or lodging?
WOMAN: Jock?
WOMAN: Jock?
WOMAN: Jock?
WOMAN: Jock?
Working on at the moment?
Working on at the moment?
Working on at the moment?
Working on at the moment?
Would cheer her up.
Would cheer her up.
Would cheer her up.
Would cheer her up.
Would you also like to make a bid?
Would you also like to make a bid?
Would you also like to make a bid?
Would you also like to make a bid?
Would you care to come and take a peek at it, eh?
Would you care to come and take a peek at it, eh?
Would you care to come and take a peek at it, eh?
Would you care to come and take a peek at it, eh?
Would you mind ever so much if we used the lavatory?
Would you mind ever so much if we used the lavatory?
Would you mind ever so much if we used the lavatory?
Would you mind ever so much if we used the lavatory?
Would you mind?
Would you mind?
Would you mind?
Would you mind?
Would you really do that for me?
Would you really do that for me?
Would you really do that for me?
Would you really do that for me?
Wouldn't do to have you walking into
Wouldn't do to have you walking into
Wouldn't do to have you walking into
Wouldn't do to have you walking into
Wouldn't do, the two of us here alone, would it?
Wouldn't do, the two of us here alone, would it?
Wouldn't do, the two of us here alone, would it?
Wouldn't do, the two of us here alone, would it?
Yangtze ceramics are low fired.
Yangtze ceramics are low fired.
Yangtze ceramics are low fired.
Yangtze ceramics are low fired.
Yeah, a Duke.
Yeah, a Duke.
Yeah, a Duke.
Yeah, a Duke.
Yeah, because when I've lost something,
Yeah, because when I've lost something,
Yeah, because when I've lost something,
Yeah, because when I've lost something,
Yeah, give us a minute, love.
Yeah, give us a minute, love.
Yeah, give us a minute, love.
Yeah, give us a minute, love.
Yeah, like I told the lady earlier today,
Yeah, like I told the lady earlier today,
Yeah, like I told the lady earlier today,
Yeah, like I told the lady earlier today,
Yeah. Fingers crossed, chaps, you find it first.
Yeah. Fingers crossed, chaps, you find it first.
Yeah. Fingers crossed, chaps, you find it first.
Yeah. Fingers crossed, chaps, you find it first.
Yes, but someone found out about the plan,
Yes, but someone found out about the plan,
Yes, but someone found out about the plan,
Yes, but someone found out about the plan,
Yes, do. Do think.
Yes, do. Do think.
Yes, I suppose it could.
Yes, I suppose it could.
Yes, I suppose it could.
Yes, I suppose it could.
Yes, I suppose it could.
Yes, I suppose it could.
Yes, I was!
Yes, I was!
Yes, indeed I am he.
Yes, indeed I am he.
Yes, indeed I am he.
Yes, indeed I am he.
Yes, let's look at the photographs.
Yes, let's look at the photographs.
Yes, let's look at the photographs.
Yes, let's look at the photographs.
Yes, Lord Mortdecai?
Yes, Lord Mortdecai?
Yes, Lord Mortdecai?
Yes, Lord Mortdecai?
Yes, most likely by accident.
Yes, most likely by accident.
Yes, most likely by accident.
Yes, most likely by accident.
Yes, most... No, no.
Yes, most... No, no.
Yes, oh, yes!
Yes, oh, yes!
Yes, oh, yes!
Yes, oh, yes!
Yes, sir?
Yes, sir?
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, well, in future, if you could please use your paddles.
Yes, well, in future, if you could please use your paddles.
Yes, well, that is where the story
Yes, well, that is where the story
Yes, well, that is where the story
Yes, well, that is where the story
Yes, yes, I was.
Yes, yes, I was.
Yes, yes, I was.
Yes, yes, I was.
Yes, yes, yes. Good hungry doggie...
Yes, yes, yes. Good hungry doggie...
Yes, yes, yes. Good hungry doggie...
Yes, yes, yes. Good hungry doggie...
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes.
Yes.
Yes. Where is the Goya?
Yes. Where is the Goya?
Yes... Right.
Yes... Right.
You always were the sensitive one.
You always were the sensitive one.
You always were the sensitive one.
You always were the sensitive one.
You and your men have done
You and your men have done
You and your men have done
You and your men have done
You are a nasty business, sir.
You are a nasty business, sir.
You are mistaken, sir.
You are mistaken, sir.
You are mistaken, sir.
You are mistaken, sir.
You are uppy, sir.
You are uppy, sir.
You bloody chicken, bloody monkey,
You bloody chicken, bloody monkey,
You bloody chicken, bloody monkey,
You bloody chicken, bloody monkey,
You cheated me in our last deal.
You cheated me in our last deal.
You could make some inquiries.
You could make some inquiries.
You could make some inquiries.
You could make some inquiries.
You dare to cast aspersions?
You dare to cast aspersions?
You go down, get your face seen a bit...
You go down, get your face seen a bit...
You go down, get your face seen a bit...
You go down, get your face seen a bit...
You have a Turner of the Loire,
You have a Turner of the Loire,
You have a Turner of the Loire,
You have a Turner of the Loire,
You have been grossly overcompensated.
You have been grossly overcompensated.
You have five minutes to shave it off.
You have five minutes to shave it off.
You have five minutes to shave it off.
You have five minutes to shave it off.
You have no idea what you're getting involved with.
You have no idea what you're getting involved with.
You have no idea what you're getting involved with.
You have no idea what you're getting involved with.
You know how it is, gentlemen.
You know how it is, gentlemen.
You know how it is, gentlemen.
You know how it is, gentlemen.
You know I have a sympathetic gag reflex.
You know I have a sympathetic gag reflex.
You know I have a sympathetic gag reflex.
You know I have a sympathetic gag reflex.
You know I'm not interested in your flaccid Sheridan.
You know I'm not interested in your flaccid Sheridan.
You know I'm not interested in your flaccid Sheridan.
You know I'm not interested in your flaccid Sheridan.
You know we're going to
You know we're going to
You know we're going to
You know we're going to
You know, I've always been rather fond of you.
You know, I've always been rather fond of you.
You know, I've always been rather fond of you.
You know, I've always been rather fond of you.
You know, remarkably,
You know, remarkably,
You know, state secrets and what have you.
You know, state secrets and what have you.
You look here, I will have you know that
You look here, I will have you know that
You look here, I will have you know that
You look here, I will have you know that
You mean it's going to get bigger?
You mean it's going to get bigger?
You mean it's going to get bigger?
You mean it's going to get bigger?
You might be interested in a museum owned Goya,
You might be interested in a museum owned Goya,
You might be interested in a museum owned Goya,
You might be interested in a museum owned Goya,
You might have time to couple with Georgina before dinner.
You might have time to couple with Georgina before dinner.
You might have time to couple with Georgina before dinner.
You might have time to couple with Georgina before dinner.
You mother loving bastard! Hello.
You mother loving bastard! Hello.
You mother loving bastard! Hello.
You mother loving bastard! Hello.
You must be Mortdecai.
You must be Mortdecai.
You must be Mortdecai.
You must be Mortdecai.
You one book short of a library, you maggot? Eh?
You one book short of a library, you maggot? Eh?
You one megabyte short of a RAM?
You one megabyte short of a RAM?
You one megabyte short of a RAM?
You one megabyte short of a RAM?
You owe me.
You owe me.
You really are a cut above!
You really are a cut above!
You really are a cut above!
You really are a cut above!
You really won't shave it off?
You really won't shave it off?
You really won't shave it off?
You really won't shave it off?
You see, the domain of a man's upper lip
You see, the domain of a man's upper lip
You see, the domain of a man's upper lip
You see, the domain of a man's upper lip
You served in the War then, Your Grace?
You served in the War then, Your Grace?
You served in the War then, Your Grace?
You served in the War then, Your Grace?
You should go, sir, before the shooter circles 'round.
You should go, sir, before the shooter circles 'round.
You should go, sir, before the shooter circles 'round.
You should go, sir, before the shooter circles 'round.
You should see the other fellow.
You should see the other fellow.
You should see the other fellow.
You should see the other fellow.
You should treat a jam jar car like this
You should treat a jam jar car like this
You should treat a jam jar car like this
You should treat a jam jar car like this
You think poor Miss Fellworthy stumbled into something,
You think poor Miss Fellworthy stumbled into something,
You think poor Miss Fellworthy stumbled into something,
You think poor Miss Fellworthy stumbled into something,
You think?
You think?
You think?
You think?
You took from me. Now I will take from you.
You took from me. Now I will take from you.
You took from me. Now I will take from you.
You took from me. Now I will take from you.
You used her frequently, didn't you?
You used her frequently, didn't you?
You used her frequently, didn't you?
You used her frequently, didn't you?
You were luncheoning with my wife?
You were luncheoning with my wife?
You were luncheoning with my wife?
You were luncheoning with my wife?
You will follow.
You will follow.
You will follow.
You will follow.
You will get used to it. I promise.
You will get used to it. I promise.
You will get used to it. I promise.
You will get used to it. I promise.
You will have hole in your balls!
You will have hole in your balls!
You will have hole in your balls!
You will have hole in your balls!
You will take one million.
You will take one million.
You won't be needing this anymore, will you?
You won't be needing this anymore, will you?
You won't be needing this anymore, will you?
You won't be needing this anymore, will you?
You, me, and Charlie?
You, me, and Charlie?
You, me, and Charlie?
You, me, and Charlie?
You'll forgive me just a moment, I'm sure?
You'll forgive me just a moment, I'm sure?
You'll forgive me just a moment, I'm sure?
You'll forgive me just a moment, I'm sure?
You're his dealer, so you have painting!
You're his dealer, so you have painting!
You're his dealer, so you have painting!
You're his dealer, so you have painting!
You're in the hole to Her Majesty's government
You're in the hole to Her Majesty's government
You're on duty.
You're on duty.
You're on duty.
You're on duty.
You're rather monstrous.
You're rather monstrous.
You're rather monstrous.
You're rather monstrous.
You've sensed it, Alastair.
You've sensed it, Alastair.
You've sensed it, Alastair.
You've sensed it, Alastair.
You've touched a nerve.
You've touched a nerve.
You've touched a nerve.
You've touched a nerve.
Your bags have been packed and checked,
Your bags have been packed and checked,
Your bags have been packed and checked,
Your bags have been packed and checked,
Your Emil Strago just killed my garage man
Your Emil Strago just killed my garage man
Your Emil Strago just killed my garage man
Your Emil Strago just killed my garage man
Your gag reflex.
Your gag reflex.
Your Grace,
Your Grace,
Your Grace. So kind of you to see me.
Your Grace. So kind of you to see me.
Your Grace. So kind of you to see me.
Your Grace. So kind of you to see me.
Your husband, Charlie.
Your husband, Charlie.
Your husband, Charlie.
Your husband, Charlie.
Your mother and father only met once.
Your mother and father only met once.
Your mother and father only met once.
Your mother and father only met once.
Your services are no longer required.
Your services are no longer required.
Your trousers.
Your trousers.
Your trousers.
Your trousers.
Your, mmm, protrusion...
Your, mmm, protrusion...
7th Army, 2nd Division.
7th Army, 2nd Division.
7th Army, 2nd Division.
7th Army, 2nd Division.
10% seems exploitive!
10% seems exploitive!
10% seems exploitive!
10% seems exploitive!
500, ladies and gentlemen.
500, ladies and gentlemen.
500, ladies and gentlemen.
500, ladies and gentlemen.
'Til tomorrow. Ta! (HANGS UP)
'Til tomorrow. Ta! (HANGS UP)
(CHUCKLES APPROVINGLY) Where to, sir?
(CHUCKLES APPROVINGLY) Where to, sir?
(GUNFIRE) MORTDECAI: Oh, dear!
(GUNFIRE) MORTDECAI: Oh, dear!
(SCREAMING) (PEOPLE GASPING)
(SCREAMING) (PEOPLE GASPING)
(SCREAMS) (GUNSHOTS)
(SCREAMS) (GUNSHOTS)
(SCREAMS) No time to dally. Ugh.
(SCREAMS) No time to dally. Ugh.
(SCREAMS) Someone shooting at me!
(SCREAMS) Someone shooting at me!
(SCREAMS) Someone shooting at me!
(SCREAMS) Someone shooting at me!
(UNZIPS) Mmm...
(UNZIPS) Mmm...
(WINCES) Oh...
(WINCES) Oh...
(WOMAN MOANING) (MAN GRUNTING)
(WOMAN MOANING) (MAN GRUNTING)
(WOMAN SHOUTS) JOCK: Done!
(WOMAN SHOUTS) JOCK: Done!
Ahh! Ooh!
Ahh! Ooh!
Ahh! There we go!
Ahh! There we go!
Alastair! Do it now!
Alastair! Do it now!
And in the car, sir. And a bit in the car.
And in the car, sir. And a bit in the car.
And in the car, sir. And a bit in the car.
And in the car, sir. And a bit in the car.
and takes the painting. (LAUGHING)
and takes the painting. (LAUGHING)
And, Jock? Yes, sir?
And, Jock? Yes, sir?
And, Jock? Yes, sir?
And, Jock? Yes, sir?
Blackfriar's Hall. We must do this again.
Blackfriar's Hall. We must do this again.
Blackfriar's Hall. We must do this again.
Blackfriar's Hall. We must do this again.
Bunny has it. I beg your pardon?
Bunny has it. I beg your pardon?
Bunny has it. I beg your pardon?
Bunny has it. I beg your pardon?
Charlie? Mmm.
Charlie? Mmm.
Checking in? Yeah, we're checking in.
Checking in? Yeah, we're checking in.
Close your eyes, sir. Right.
Close your eyes, sir. Right.
Close your eyes, sir. Right.
Close your eyes, sir. Right.
Come on! Twenty million, you swine!
Come on! Twenty million, you swine!
Do you have it? Go!
Do you have it? Go!
Do you have it? Go!
Do you have it? Go!
Don't you think so? Mmm. Mmm. Oh, yes.
Don't you think so? Mmm. Mmm. Oh, yes.
Everyone out! Okay.
Everyone out! Okay.
Everyone out! Okay.
Everyone out! Okay.
Get in the back seat, sir! Okay!
Get in the back seat, sir! Okay!
Get in the back seat, sir! Okay!
Get in the back seat, sir! Okay!
Go bid! Oh!
Go bid! Oh!
Go bid! Oh!
Go bid! Oh!
got the real one. Bunny?
got the real one. Bunny?
got the real one. Bunny?
got the real one. Bunny?
Hang on, sir! MORTDECAI: Okay!
Hang on, sir! MORTDECAI: Okay!
Hang on, sir! Okay!
Hang on, sir! Okay!
Hello, pookie. Hello, darling.
Hello, pookie. Hello, darling.
Hello, pookie. Hello, darling.
Hello, pookie. Hello, darling.
Hello! Martland.
Hello! Martland.
Hello! (CHUCKLES) Martland.
Hello! (CHUCKLES) Martland.
I don't know. But you know about art.
I don't know. But you know about art.
I don't know. But you know about art.
I don't know. But you know about art.
In my study, please. Very good, sir.
In my study, please. Very good, sir.
In my study, please. Very good, sir.
In my study, please. Very good, sir.
Is this how she was found? (GROANS)
Is this how she was found? (GROANS)
It's a little unseemly. The trousers...
It's a little unseemly. The trousers...
Jesus Christ. Ha!
Jesus Christ. Ha!
Jesus Christ. Ha!
Jesus Christ. Ha!
Jock? Yeah?
Jock? Yeah?
Jock? Yes, madam?
Jock? Yes, madam?
Jock? Yes, madam?
Jock? Yes, madam?
Jock? Yes, sir?
Jock? Yes, sir?
Jock? Yes, sir?
Jock? Yes, sir?
Jock? Yes, sir?
Jock? Yes, sir?
Jock? Yup?
Jock? Yup?
Jockie? Yes, sir?
Jockie? Yes, sir?
Jockie? Yes, sir?
Jockie? Yes, sir?
Johanna, do you... Oh!
Johanna, do you... Oh!
JOHANNA: Alastair! Do it now!
JOHANNA: Alastair! Do it now!
Like this? Sorry, I meant to the right.
Like this? Sorry, I meant to the right.
Like this? Sorry, I meant to the right.
Like this? Sorry, I meant to the right.
Like this? Like this? (GROANS)
Like this? Like this? (GROANS)
MAN: Come on! Twenty million, you swine!
MAN: Come on! Twenty million, you swine!
MARTLAND: Oh, dear. (SCREAMS)
MARTLAND: Oh, dear. (SCREAMS)
Martland... God.
Martland... God.
Maurice? Sir?
Maurice? Sir?
Mmm? The switch, sir.
Mmm? The switch, sir.
Mmm? The switch, sir.
Mmm? The switch, sir.
Mmm. Don't imbibe the crime scene.
Mmm. Don't imbibe the crime scene.
Mmm. Don't imbibe the crime scene.
Mmm. Don't imbibe the crime scene.
Mmm. No, no. Steady yourself.
Mmm. No, no. Steady yourself.
MORTDECAI: Ahh! JOCK: There we go!
MORTDECAI: Ahh! JOCK: There we go!
MORTDECAI: Where? MARTLAND: There!
MORTDECAI: Where? MARTLAND: There!
Mwah. (BOTH GAGGING)
Mwah. (BOTH GAGGING)
No, from the window. With a spear gun.
No, from the window. With a spear gun.
No, from the window. With a spear gun.
No, from the window. With a spear gun.
No, I was just, um... Of course you were.
No, I was just, um... Of course you were.
No, I was just, um... Of course you were.
No, I was just, um... Of course you were.
No, no. No!
No, no. No!
No, no. No!
No, no. No!
No! (JOCK CLEARS THROAT)
No! (JOCK CLEARS THROAT)
No. (MAURICE WHIMPERS)
No. (MAURICE WHIMPERS)
Of course. (LAUGHING)
Of course. (LAUGHING)
Oh, don't do that! For heaven's sake.
Oh, don't do that! For heaven's sake.
Oh, don't do that! For heaven's sake.
Oh, don't do that! For heaven's sake.
Oh, Jock! Oh.
Oh, Jock! Oh.
Oh, Jock! Oh.
Oh, Jock! Oh.
Oh, Jock! Yeah.
Oh, Jock! Yeah.
Oh, Jock! Yeah.
Oh, Jock! Yeah.
Oh, my. Oh, my.
Oh, my. Oh, my.
Oh, my. Oh, my.
Oh, my. Oh, my.
Oh, my. Oh, my.
Oh, my. Oh, my.
Oh, well done. (TIRES SCREECHING)
Oh, well done. (TIRES SCREECHING)
Oh, you remembered. Mmm.
Oh, you remembered. Mmm.
Oh! I'll have it on my wall.
Oh! I'll have it on my wall.
Oh! Jock?
Oh! Jock?
Oh! Jock?
Oh! Jock?
Oh! Yeah. Very well. 600 then.
Oh! Yeah. Very well. 600 then.
Oh! Yeah. Very well. 600 then.
Oh! Yeah. Very well. 600 then.
Ooh! (YELLS)
Ooh! (YELLS)
Ooh! Feel me.
Ooh! Feel me.
Ooh. (GROANS)
Ooh. (GROANS)
Right you are, sir. Right.
Right you are, sir. Right.
Run, sir! Again?
Run, sir! Again?
Run, sir! Again?
Run, sir! Again?
She's exquisite. So good...
She's exquisite. So good...
Sir? Sir? Mmm? What, Jock?
Sir? Sir? Mmm? What, Jock?
Sir? Sir? Mmm? What, Jock?
Sir? Sir? Mmm? What, Jock?
Sit down! Drop the knife!
Sit down! Drop the knife!
Sit down! Drop the knife!
Sit down! Drop the knife!
Time to go, sir. Ah.
Time to go, sir. Ah.
Time to go, sir. Ah.
Time to go, sir. Ah.
Two, sir. No, today's, what, Monday?
Two, sir. No, today's, what, Monday?
Two, sir. No, today's, what, Monday?
Two, sir. No, today's, what, Monday?
What are you doing? Oh, no. To the left a bit.
What are you doing? Oh, no. To the left a bit.
What are you doing? Oh, no. To the left a bit.
What are you doing? Oh, no. To the left a bit.
What? Has it been compromised?
What? Has it been compromised?
Why? We don't know why.
Why? We don't know why.
With a crossbow. He was left handed.
With a crossbow. He was left handed.
With a crossbow. He was left handed.
With a crossbow. He was left handed.
with a failed poet! Oh! (TIRES SCREECHING)
with a failed poet! Oh! (TIRES SCREECHING)
with Hounds near Twineham. But quietly. Quietly.
with Hounds near Twineham. But quietly. Quietly.
with Hounds near Twineham. But quietly. Quietly.
with Hounds near Twineham. But quietly. Quietly.
Wouldn't that be funny? Hilarious.
Wouldn't that be funny? Hilarious.
Wouldn't that be funny? Hilarious.
Wouldn't that be funny? Hilarious.
Yes, do. Good night, sir.
Yes, do. Good night, sir.
Yes, do. Good night, sir.
Yes, do. Good night, sir.
Yes, most... No, no. (GRUNTS)
Yes, most... No, no. (GRUNTS)
Yes, she is. My God...
Yes, she is. My God...
Yes, she is. My God...
Yes, she is. My God...
Yes, sir. Oh!
Yes, sir. Oh!
Yes! Oh...
Yes! Oh...
Yes! Well then, what's the point?
Yes! Well then, what's the point?
Yes! Well then, what's the point?
Yes! Well then, what's the point?
Yes. I'm very sorry.
Yes. I'm very sorry.
Yes. I'm very sorry.
Yes. I'm very sorry.
You have it? Go!
You have it? Go!
You have it? Go!
You have it? Go!
You will have your time. Oh. Mmm.
You will have your time. Oh. Mmm.
You will have your time. Oh. Mmm.
You will have your time. Oh. Mmm.
You've got a difficult chap. Beastly.
You've got a difficult chap. Beastly.
...and those far searching eyes...
...and those far searching eyes...
...and those far searching eyes...
...and those far searching eyes...
...Sheamus is able to do
...Sheamus is able to do
...there was no mention of the painting.
...there was no mention of the painting.
...under the tropical stars.
...under the tropical stars.
...under the tropical stars.
...under the tropical stars.
...what else can you tell me about Strago?
...what else can you tell me about Strago?
'Til tomorrow. Ta!
'Til tomorrow. Ta!
(ALL EXCLAIM IN FEAR)
(ALL EXCLAIM IN FEAR)
(APPLAUSE)
(APPLAUSE)
(AUCTIONEER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
(AUCTIONEER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
(BABY COOING)
(BABY COOING)
(BOTH GAGGING)
(BOTH GAGGING)
(BOTH GAGGING)
(BOTH GAGGING)
(BOTH GAGGING)
(BOTH GAGGING)
(BOTH GASP)
(BOTH GASP)
(BOTH GROANING)
(BOTH GROANING)
(BOTH SPEAKING CANTONESE)
(BOTH SPEAKING CANTONESE)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(CAMERA CLICKING)
(CAMERA CLICKING)
(CHIMES)
(CHIMES)
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Ooh.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Ooh.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Whatever brings you here?
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Whatever brings you here?
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES) Ah!
(CHUCKLES) Ah!
(CHUCKLES) Not nearly.
(CHUCKLES) Not nearly.
(CHUCKLES) Yes. Where is the Goya?
(CHUCKLES) Yes. Where is the Goya?
(CLICKING)
(CLICKING)
(CLICKS TONGUE)
(CLICKS TONGUE)
(CLICKS TONGUE) Oh, darling...
(CLICKS TONGUE) Oh, darling...
(CONTINUES GRUMBLING)
(CONTINUES GRUMBLING)
(DOG BARKING)
(DOG BARKING)
(DOG GROWLING)
(DOG GROWLING)
(DOOR BUZZING)
(DOOR BUZZING)
(DOOR BUZZING)
(DOOR BUZZING)
(DOOR BUZZING)
(DOOR BUZZING)
(DOOR SLAMS)
(DOOR SLAMS)
(EMIL YELLING)
(EMIL YELLING)
(ENGINE STARTS)
(ENGINE STARTS)
(EXCLAIMS)
(EXCLAIMS)
(EXHALES)
(EXHALES)
(EXHALES)
(EXHALES)
(EXHALES)
(EXHALES)
(EXHALES)
(EXHALES)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(FUNERAL ORGAN PLAYING)
(FUNERAL ORGAN PLAYING)
(GAGGING)
(GAGGING)
(GAS HISSING)
(GAS HISSING)
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GASPS) Good Lord! It couldn't be!
(GASPS) Good Lord! It couldn't be!
(GASPS) You dare to cast aspersions?
(GASPS) You dare to cast aspersions?
(GROANING)
(GROANING)
(GROANING)
(GROANING)
(GROANING)
(GROANING)
(GROANING)
(GROANING)
(GROANING)
(GROANING)
(GROANING)
(GROANING)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROWLING)
(GROWLING)
(GRUMBLING IN ANNOYANCE)
(GRUMBLING IN ANNOYANCE)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING) Oh!
(GRUNTING) Oh!
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GUNFIRE)
(GUNFIRE)
(HORSE NEIGHING)
(HORSE NEIGHING)
(HUMMING)
(HUMMING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(INHALES SHARPLY)
(INHALES SHARPLY)
(JOCK AND WOMAN MOANING ON PHONE)
(JOCK AND WOMAN MOANING ON PHONE)
(JOCK GRUNTING)
(JOCK GRUNTING)
(JOCK GRUNTING)
(JOCK GRUNTING)
(JOCK VOMITING)
(JOCK VOMITING)
(JOHANNA GROANS)
(JOHANNA GROANS)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LIQUID DRIPPING)
(LIQUID DRIPPING)
(LOCK CLICKS)
(LOCK CLICKS)
(MAN AND WOMAN MOANING)
(MAN AND WOMAN MOANING)
(MEN SHOUT)
(MEN SHOUT)
(MOANS)
(MOANS)
(MORTDECAI CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
(MORTDECAI CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
(MORTDECAI CHUCKLES)
(MORTDECAI CHUCKLES)
(MORTDECAI EXCLAIMS)
(MORTDECAI EXCLAIMS)
(MORTDECAI LAUGHING)
(MORTDECAI LAUGHING)
(MORTDECAI LAUGHS)
(MORTDECAI LAUGHS)
(MORTDECAI MUMBLING)
(MORTDECAI MUMBLING)
(MORTDECAI SCREAMING)
(MORTDECAI SCREAMING)
(MORTDECAI SIGHS)
(MORTDECAI SIGHS)
(MORTDECAI SIGHS)
(MORTDECAI SIGHS)
(MORTDECAI STAMMERING)
(MORTDECAI STAMMERING)
(MORTDECAI YELPING)
(MORTDECAI YELPING)
(MORTDECAI YELPS)
(MORTDECAI YELPS)
(MUMBLES)
(MUMBLES)
(MUMBLING)
(MUMBLING)
(PANTING)
(PANTING)
(PANTING) Oh, it's burning... I... I can't go on...
(PANTING) Oh, it's burning... I... I can't go on...
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
(RINGING)
(RINGING)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(RUSSIAN MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
(RUSSIAN MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
(RUSSIAN MUSIC PLAYING)
(RUSSIAN MUSIC PLAYING)
(SCOFFS)
(SCOFFS)
(SCOFFS)
(SCOFFS)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMS) Oh!
(SCREAMS) Oh!
(SHOUTS)
(SHOUTS)
(SHOUTS)
(SHOUTS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS) Mmm...
(SIGHS) Mmm...
(SIGHS) Right. Gosh, it's been ages.
(SIGHS) Right. Gosh, it's been ages.
(SIGHS) Thank heavens.
(SIGHS) Thank heavens.
(SIREN WAILS)
(SIREN WAILS)
(SIRENS WAILING)
(SIRENS WAILING)
(SIRENS WAILING)
(SIRENS WAILING)
(SNORING)
(SNORING)
(SOFTLY) I couldn't help overhearing
(SOFTLY) I couldn't help overhearing
(SOFTLY) There he is. Now don't cause a panic.
(SOFTLY) There he is. Now don't cause a panic.
(SOFTLY) What's in it for me, as they say?
(SOFTLY) What's in it for me, as they say?
(SQUEAKING)
(SQUEAKING)
(STAMMERING)
(STAMMERING)
(STAMMERING) Ah! And at the Ambassador's residence.
(STAMMERING) Ah! And at the Ambassador's residence.
(STAMMERING) Hello? Hello?
(STAMMERING) Hello? Hello?
(STAMMERING) Well, I think I'm staying in some
(STAMMERING) Well, I think I'm staying in some
(STAMMERING) What makes you think I have it?
(STAMMERING) What makes you think I have it?
(STAMMERS) Let's review it a few more times, shall we?
(STAMMERS) Let's review it a few more times, shall we?
(STRAINING)
(STRAINING)
(SWORDS CLATTERING)
(SWORDS CLATTERING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(UNZIPS)
(UNZIPS)
(WAILING)
(WAILING)
(WHIMPERING)
(WHIMPERING)
(WHIMPERING)
(WHIMPERING)
(WHISPERING) I'll make it up to you, Jockie.
(WHISPERING) I'll make it up to you, Jockie.
(WOMAN CLEARS THROAT)
(WOMAN CLEARS THROAT)
(WOMAN SIGHING)
(WOMAN SIGHING)
(YELLING)
(YELLING)
(YELLING)
(YELLING)
(YELLING)
(YELLING)
(YELPS)
(YELPS)
(YELPS)
(YELPS)
(YELPS)
(YELPS)
(YELPS) No!
(YELPS) No!

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