A Night at the Roxbury (1998) Edit

A business man must have knowledge of computers. Come on.

Actually, I had an idea for a club.

All guys are nervous and kind of hope she eats a can of botulism?

All men are nervous the night before their wedding.

All right. Hey, where are you going?

All right. Let's talk to this little lady called Night.

All right... Listen, Bennie, see you later. See you, guys.

Also, I took Craig clubbing.

Am I what you expected?

And George Washington is a little lonely. Wants to join his buddies.

And it really improved your relationship with him.

And look who else we've got. Roosevelt, Roosevelt and Jefferson.

And sometimes you get a busy signal. That's why you got a redial button.

And Steve was, like, Emilio! Oh, God, if you were only there.

And the Butabis, who came in all the way from Yayman.

And this guy on the phone turns around and tips his hat like this.

And to the other two old people, What's up?

And who do you think that guy was?

And you got a date to meet her at The Municipal State Court. Up top.

And you look good also.

And you...

Anna Nicole? Put something on. You're making us sick.

Anna Nicole? Put something on. You're making us sick.

Are you all right? Sure?

Are you from out of town...?

Are you serious? Oh, you're hilarious.

Are your delicate fingers injured?

As if he gives a flying rat's ass.

At this moment, I want to make a toast to Steve and Emily,

Back off, Chicklett. My brother and I, we live life in the fast lane.

Before you talk to a man like Mr. Zadir, you have to have a plan of attack.

Behave yourselves. Look who's gracing us with their presence.

Big surprise. You don't know how to work the clubs, talk to the ladies.

Boys, wait. I don't like you leaving without a phone.

Business. Human Relationships in Management.

But first I understand the bride and groom have each prepared something.

But I didn't do it. I'm driving. Don't do that.

But it's like Emily turned out to be this whole different other person.

But no more. It's time we step up into that sweet ass world.

But rebellious, scrappy, dreamer...

But then who would approve all the money you spend?

Butabis? I've been looking all over for you. Come here!

Cambi makes a good point. But tonight we have some fun.

Cambi makes a good point. But tonight we have some fun.

Cambi, do you like blueberries or strawberries?

Cambi, it's your boyfriend. Look, I need to see you.

Cambi's number.

Cambi's number.

Can we not talk about my brother for a second?

Care about this? You want the real thing?

Checking your label. Just as I thought. Made in heaven.

Come here, you pet detective bastard.

Come next week. I'm gonna take care of you. All right, man.

Come on, relax. Think puppies and candy canes, all right?

Coming to take me away. The sight of you stopped my heart.

Covers the development of...

Dad was cool about the wedding after his chat with Grieco.

Dad, I didn't have a bachelor party. That's a major part of a wedding.

Dad? Is there any way we can cancel this whole thing?

Dear Steve. They say if you set something free and it comes back

Dearly beloved. We're gathered here today to join...

Diabetic. I could see us doing that again.

Did we already start? Oh.

Did you have a good time last night?

Did you say something? I can't hear things from that low to the ground.

Disco dicks.

Do you promise to love Emily for as long as you both shall live?

Do you promise to love Steven for as long as you both shall live?

Do you want me to be less horny?

Do you want your kid blessed or not?

Doesn't that blow your mind?

Don't do that with your head. That's so dumb!

Dooey just called from Pismo Beach. He says he didn't grab your ass.

Dooey, did you just grab my ass?

Dooey, my main man. I love this man. Meet the Butabi brothers.

Dooey, we have to stop and get some fluffy whip for the party.

Doug is like a fax machine.

Doug, are you there? It's Steve.

Doug, if I'm not mistaken, this place has got it going on!

Doug!

Doug? Sorry I missed you. I guess I'm getting married

Doug. You've gotten past the opening lines.

Emilio...!

Emily, Steve's discipline is lacking as is his appreciation for you.

Emily? I see you've picked the right son.

Emily... Sorry. I'm not ready yet.

Excellent year. Devo had a huge hit.

Excuse me, Bill Nye, the science guy.

Finally. An hour and a half late. Steve, go dust the roses.

Fine. My pleasure.

First, we combine the stores, okay? Then we can add the furniture.

Flying rat's ass... That would be wild to see.

Four months of work for nothing.

From now on, the only club we're going to is the Roxbury.

From where I'm standing, that's a physical impossibility.

George Washington and George Washington?

Get off... Watch it!

Get out, 'cos I hate you.

Get the camera. He's gonna hit his peak.

Give me a call or page me.

Go find your brother and load the trucks. Idiot... Useless!

Good one. Okay.

Good.

Gosh, Emily, school? I'll have to read, and homework...

Great. Let's work.

Great. They're starting with the neck injuries. I'm screwed.

He can't hear you.

He felt it because he's an actor.

Here's another one. Venture Management.

Here's one. Business Computer Systems. That's a good one.

Hey, are you from out of town? You have a local number?

Hey, Dooey, tell your mom I had a nice time last night.

Hey, what's up? You want some of this? How about a little of that?

Hey!

Hey... Steve getting married. You're the man!

Hi, Doug. Your nightclub's so cool. Can my model friends come in?

Hi. Can I help you?

Hi. How are you paying for these? Cash, check or charge?

Hottie cop likes you. Think she pulls over just anybody? Make a move.

Hottie police officer?

Hotties wanna shake it. Come on.

How do I get through to this individual?

How old are these? How embarrassing.

How's the hair? Successful club owner good?

I am a professional trainer. I also hope to market my own protein bar.

I broke the window again.

I broke the window again.

I can go for that.

I can't believe we actually had sex with these asswads!

I can't believe we got in. Sure it wasn't a mistake?

I can't taste it. I'm so scared right now. I don't know what to do.

I could see myself in your pants.

I don't know how to respond to that.

I don't want to!

I drag me down.

I feel like a selfish pig, going on about myself. What about you?

I give up, you nasty card swiper.

I go to college. Translation: Drunken orgies with occasional Cliff notes.

I got some great office supplies for our new nightclub business.

I had a great idea for the store...

I had a great time. I think we've reached a point

I have to go. Leave me a message.

I have to nurse my emotional wounds.

I have to say hello to Jim Carrey.

I have to take a rain check on this convo.

I heard about your brother.

I just...

I know a beach where you don't have to wear a bathing suit.

I know you've had you heart set on this, but the truth is, I'm a rebel.

I know your tricks, Dooey.

I like your bathing suit. You have really good muscle definition.

I missed this car. I look good in it.

I missed you. You said when I got back, we could get together.

I owe you big time for inviting me.

I see your Roxbury balloon and I hate to burst it,

I think of you more as a dog person. Maybe a Pomeranian. Lhasa Apso.

I think we're moving way too fast. You're talking like we're married.

I think you should make a toast. All the men are making toasts.

I thought there was supposed to be a buzzer or a whistle or something.

I told you to wear white. Grandma, get off the phone.

I totally approve.

I understand very well. You're going to a new, hot club tonight, right?

I understand. It's just that you're barking up the wrong tree.

I used to see you outside my father's store

I walk down the aisle. I stand next to you.

I wanna know what kind of pancakes to order you in the morning.

I was really looking forward to meeting you in court on June 6th.

I was there. I was, like, Emilio! And Doug was going cra...

I would like to thank my parents, who came in all the way from Maine.

I'd like to schedule a meeting. Can you do... 12:30?

I'd like to show you some of our business plans for after the merger.

I'd really appreciate it if you didn't talk to me right now.

I'll see when you come home, begging for food and shelter. Morons!

I'll see you.

I'm glad we had this talk.

I'm gonna go back in and...

I'm in our room still across from the pool.

I'm sorry. I said a lot of bad things before.

I'm sorry. It's just...

I've been thinking... You're my brother.

I've got to tell you, Steve, tonight, I can taste it.

Idiot boy, go cover the cash register.

Idiot boy, go cover the cash register.

If anyone has reason to believe that this man or woman

If I may congest, the pool is taking up the prime dancing real estate.

If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

If they're with Zadir, they've got to be worth something.

If you put glass over the pool, it would be like dancing on water.

Ikea!

Is it better than last year's?

Is this how you load trucks? Disgusting. Get out of here.

Is this your first time?

It seems to me, you're a bit harder on Doug than you are on Steve.

It sounds good, but I just got out of this very serious relationship.

It's a health shake. It helps me hit my physical peak.

It's already been good, now that you've served and protected me.

It's been great spending quality time, but we're meeting Mr. Zadir.

It's gonna be so much fun to see things appear and disappear.

It's hard to pitch in a nightclub. The music is way too loud in here.

It's just that I don't...

It's really sexy and I have a really good taste in what's sexy.

It's true. It's just that Doug is so rebellious. I can't control him.

Jesus, man.

Just because you and your brother are having problems,

Just give me a call if you wanna go out. Or just call me anyway.

Just shut up. You had me at hello.

Later much!

Let me explain something.

Let me see.

Let's go. We're ready, let's go.

Let's have a pre meeting to brainstorm before our meeting.

Let's set up a meeting.

Let's shake it.

Like some other girls would steal us away...

Like, if things get too heavy, I step in like a spotter.

Like, we see a picture of this lady,

Little ones. You write smaller than me. Mugs with our names on them.

Little Post Its, you little idiot.

Look, Steve...

Look. A hundred thousand dollar sound system, and nobody's dancing.

Love Emily.

Machines are Doug's thing. I'm more of a people person.

Maybe even a couple of times a week.

Maybe they wouldn't go awry if I had someone next to me with a brain!

Maybe we should go to college, not put gel in our hair and wear jeans!

Maybe we should just go back to work.

Meeting!

Meeting!

Most Americans don't wear revealing bathing suits. Very European of you.

Mr. Butabi, as an actor and observer of human nature, I can tell you

Mr. Butabi, where's the other cash register?

Mr. Butabi. Is Steve asking Emily to marry him again?

Mr. Grieco... You see right through me.

My dad already paid the caterer.

Nice bulbs, Emily. And I don't mean that metaphorically.

No more clubs. Yes! Your life is retail.

No, I mean before that, you sly, little credit vixen.

No, listen to me. You can't get your kid confirmed for less than $150.

No, you take control. I'm barely hanging on here.

No, you're right. One day you're hot, the next day you're not.

No.

No.

No... Yes! Oh, man.

Not only will we not clean out the stockroom, we're out of here!

Not that it hasn't happened before. It was okay.

Nothing. That's all. Nothing.

Now do us a favor. Never talk to us again!

Now I remember. You can't come in.

Now I'm back, so we can get together.

Now, Emily.

Now, I can bench press 305 pound, and my body fat is less than 2%.

Of course you were. You yelled the Breakfast Clubber's name.

Oh, I'm done.

Oh, man. It was perfect that time.

Oh, man. You're funny. Hey, Steve? You're a funny girl.

Oh, my God, this is the most amazing place I've ever been.

Oh, okay.

Oh, right. Oh!

Oh, Steve. You just made me so happy.

Okay, I just want to say, What's up, Grandma, Grandpa?

Okay.

Okay. But we should look into infomercials.

Okay. Continue.

Okay. Dearly beloved, we're gathered here again today...

Or we could just drive around and make out. I love making out.

People waiting outside are bummed, 'cos they're trying to get in.

Perfect. Rites of Passage.

Please obey all posted speed limits. Have a good night.

Plus I rented a lot of videos. I didn't do much else.

Plus we met these girls, Dad.

Plus, I've always loved you.

Post It notes to annotate important documents.

Pull over. Let's check it out.

Really doing what? Dancing the Macarena with Donald Trump?

Really? A cat? Interesting.

Recliners and sofa beds...

Remember? A boy in the jungle with only a spear to hunt the lion.

Repeat after me: We can get into the Roxbury.

Richard Grieco.

Richie, good to see you. Get over here.

Roxbury...!

See this man? He's my co pilot on this magic carpet ride.

See you next week.

See you.

She approved. Approved.

She could hang out with a deer and accidentally be shot by a hunter.

She is so into you.

She starts to smell them. She thought they were real plants!

Shut up, Craig. I'm walking down the aisle, you dick!

Smoking, you crazy son of a bitch.

So anyways, I'm standing there, waiting to use the pay phone...

So could we delay a couple of hours so that we could go to a strip club?

So I'm waiting to use the pay phone, and this guy tips his hat like this.

So you do travel to places other than Japan.

So, anyway. You guys wanna make out or what?

So, do you guys wanna go some place we can be alone?

So, is Johnny Depp meeting you here?

So, maybe when we get in?

So, you're back from school, working for your dad at the lamp store?

Something has come up. Excuse me.

Something small, warm, fuzzy...

Steve is thrilled that this family's coming together.

Steve, at the store in a half hour. Bring your dancing monkey brother.

Steve!

Steve? I was just thinking. Dad would be really proud of us right now.

Steve? In the store in a half hour. Wear something nice. Emily's back.

Steve? You're an ass, Doug. You want to go to the beach later?

Strong legs, tight stomach, positive mental attitude...

Sure this is your card? It's not processing. I have to call it in.

Teachers saying: Would you share that with the rest of the class?

Thanks. Glad you moved back into the room.

Thanks... Great.

That could take till... Saturday.

That doesn't feel good at all...

That I have two capable sons. Not one with his head up his ass!

That means no stop signs, no pulling over to take pictures.

That voice sounds so familiar.

That was all right.

That was in my nose.

That's a sweet show, too.

That's not what my friend told me. His name is Abraham.

That's perfect. Your dad got us tickets for David Copperfield this Saturday.

That's some good ass grabbing going on there.

That's the problem. Poor schmucks look just the same as rich schmucks.

That's why everything has gone wrong. You're holding me back.

That's why I'm not gonna sugar coat it. I'm worried about your triceps.

That's why we love you and hate you.

That's why we love you and hate you.

The caterer has been paid. Your grandparents came.

The club is closed, folks. Sorry.

The ladies await, my friend. Cell.

The Mighty Duck, man. I swear to God. I was, like, Emilio!

The movie on this flight will be... I can't think of any more.

The outside is the inside and the inside is the outside.

The plans about you and I opening up only the coolest club a la the Roxbury.

The Sandersons are here to see your mother's new chin. Get dressed.

The store? You're supposed to be thinking about... Hey, what's up?

These are good boys. Did you grab my ass?

These are perfectly normal feelings.

These are real. They'll be dead in a week.

They last forever. They're silk. They'll always be in bloom.

They'll always be in your room, not suddenly move to the guest house.

They'll never die, never change. Never say you're not good looking.

This is the coatroom. The club's in there.

This is the Roxbury. We have a list.

This Italian food tastes so good. It's, like, Mexican.

This racing car is illegal. All I need is a police report.

This van is our spear. That Roxbury is our lion.

Time to play a little softball.

Trump

Turn that music off!

Unlike my pussywhipped brother

Vivica, you know what I heard when I first met you?

Want my power bar? How about an energy bar?

Way to go! You got her badge number.

We can get into the Roxbury.

We don't need you. We made huge ass contacts last night.

We got scared somebody stole you away from us.

We gotta make a stop at the Roxbury. I just don't want a lawsuit.

We had a long talk about that the other night.

We have a meeting.

We have to get a meeting. Steve...?

We used to work for him, but we quit today. Actually, we're unemployed.

We'll make it without you. You'll see.

We're brothers, and when we're together...

We're gonna treat all wannabes just as well as any legendary TV star.

We're in serious relationships right now, and our ladies can trust us.

We've made important business contacts.

What about the stockroom?

What are you doing? You have to cut up my plants and make toys of them?

What are you idiots doing? I pay you to take money and push a button.

What if the outside of the club looked like the inside?

What is he up to now?

What other young man does that remind you of?

What?

What? No, I don't mean that.

What's going on...?

What's up, partner? How are you doing tonight?

What's up? Two, three, four...

What's up...?

When I tell you to do something, I mean it. Never come in half naked.

Where are you from? Any brothers or sisters? Any family?

Where's Mom? And who's this gorgeous young hottie in the kitchen?

Who are your friends?

Who decorates like this? Steve, come on.

Who wants to dance? I call this one the sprinkler.

Why are you forgetting our plans?

Why don't you come over here?

Why go out for burgers, when you got steak at home?

Why? He uses his brain, unlike you. You're a loser! New policy.

With couches and music and all that. But then on the inside...

With this ring...

Without a cover page, people don't know where it's coming from.

Yeah, that way we don't look like idiots at our meeting.

Yes, ottomans. We're gonna be bigger than Ikea... Home Depot.

Yes. Isn't it yours?

You are a beautiful man. Know what we're gonna do when we get our club?

You are ugly, pathetic losers.

You aren't going all the way down. I'm not seeing full extension.

You can take away our phones and our keys, but not our dreams.

You can't blame me. Today was just a series of random events gone awry.

You complete me.

You don't drag me down.

You ever heard of this one? You're not on the list. Get in line.

You have to hand it to Steve. That Emily is the perfect woman.

You have to put in our number and then hit the pound sign.

You just shouldn't cheat yourselves. Sorry to come down on you like this.

You know something? If they have enough children,

You know what I always thought would make a cool Twilight Zone?

You know what I paid for this wedding?

You know what? Dad was right. You are a loser.

You know, in case of emergency. Have fun.

You know, Steve likes you very much.

You know, when she's sleeping she makes that nose whistle sound,

You like that? Does that feel good? 'Cause I can swipe it all night.

You look like good boys. Come to my VIP table.

You never support us or care about what's important to us, right?

You notice we forgot to ask her something. That's weird.

You only know how to ask me how to do everything!

You press the little white nozzle and you suck on it. It's fun.

You see this wall? After they get married, we'll combine stores

You think it would be okay to wear this to your brother's wedding?

You think you're the first losers I've had to get rid of on a Monday?

You wanna hang out or do what we did last night?

You want me to get you into the Roxbury? Great. Follow me.

You want to make a toast?

You want your kid blessed, you call me.

You're always telling us to do something with our lives.

You're even more beautiful than you sound.

You're like this sweet girl from next door type.

You're like this thing tied to my leg, this dragging thing on a chain.

You're the best man. Not the wedding bouncer. You just back me up.

Your brother's wedding, man. What are you gonna wear?

Yours say Doug. Did you call Mr. Zadir?

Zadir was drunk last night. He doesn't even remember you.

1980. Good year.

1980. Good year.

10 4. Boundary set. Thank you.

A lead weight? Yes, thank you. But not anymore!

Actually, I always screw it up... Don't bother. He'll never understand.

All right. Take it easy. She said yes.

All the customers are depressed. It's just that I miss Doug.

Amazing. It all comes from within.

And end tables and... Chairs.

and have the first plant lamp shop. Steve and Emily will run it.

and I'm just wondering if you wanted to be my best man.

And I'm really good at it. Sounds good.

And Joanie Loves Chachi started. Chachi gives a fuck about Joanie.

And people love to do that. Let's not talk business now.

And that alien was Robin Williams. I'll be right back.

And the boys from last night? I haven't located them yet.

and then we went on some dates and you let me have sex with you.

And we're proficient club hoppers. We usually go to the Mudd Club.

And who do you think that guy was? Emilio Estevez!

and you want to ram her toothbrush up her nostril into her skull.

And your dad. What?

Are we being blown off? Actually, you're being kicked out.

Are you all right? Yeah, fine.

Are you all right? Yeah, let me see.

Are you doing it right? You have to hit the pound sign.

Are you...? Doug?

Boy, has this place gone downhill. No one over six figures. Let's go.

But how are you gonna get there? What are you doing?

but I don't think our names are on that list.

but to this lady, are we just a picture of us? Ever think of that?

But we've never been inside. Watch what you're saying.

Can the rest of us use the mirror? Appreciate it.

Can we call you sometime? Want some of this?

Can you please leave Steve alone? He likes the girl... Yes, you do!

Charge. Okay.

Consider me your ex brother. I don't care.

Could you pass me a towel, please? Good. How are you?

Credit vixen? My God, I can't believe this.

Dad's gonna be pissed. I'll just tell him you did it.

Despite Mom's sciatica. Terrific, sir.

Did Mom get lipstick on me? It looks like you were making out.

Do you want to? No. Should I?

Do you want...? Stop talking to me.

Does the bouncer know about this? He's about to find out.

Don't worry about it. We're workaholics.

Dooey... Yeah. Up top. Main man.

Doug and Steve Butabi. You're brothers?

Doug is hilarious. Check this out.

Doug, Mr. Zadir! Security.

Emilio Estevez. The Mighty Duck. I was there!

Emily Sanderson Butabi. Whoever.

Everyone's got an attitude here. Gentlemen! Looking large.

Excuse me. See you later. We'll go wait in line.

Feel it right here. Squeeze. Hey, Steve.

Fluffy whip. But not putting it on stuff.

Go ahead, Father. What are you doing?

Go clean the stockroom. You know what?

Go right in. I guess we should go in then.

Go to the Roxbury again. We couldn't get in.

God, that was a sweet show. I have a fantasy.

Guess where we went tonight. The One Stop Market on Ventura?

Have your boarding passes ready. You'll have to check your bag.

He's in the guest house. It's a mansion. There's no cable.

Hello? What's up?

Hello. Hey.

Hey, good man. How's it going? Good. You still can't come in.

Hey, hotlegs. What's going on? We'll clean it up later. Don't worry.

Hey, Steve? Yeah, Doug?

Hi, Mr. Barntabi. It's Butabi, but that's okay.

Hi, Steve. Hey, Doug. Whatever.

Hi. Who, me? Him?

Honey, do it in your room. Oh, Mom, you're so funny.

How are you doing? Oh, fuck off.

How long have we been friends? All seven years of high school.

How? We can't even get in. We're letting them not let us in.

How's my hair? Roxbury good? You know it.

I got a muscle triplicator bar. Supplements aside...

I mean, your sister. Good one!

I need an approval. Card number?

I own that place also. It's a really good location, though.

I settle interwedding skirmishes. No, no...

I thought we wanted to be Grieco. Professionally, it's this guy.

I thought we wanted to be Grieco. Professionally, it's this guy.

I want you to do me a favor. Whatever you say, T.J. Hooker.

I was sent out looking for more. You, sir, are a party animal.

I was wondering... What are you doing?

I'll try to stay beautiful. I know our lives together will be great.

I'm at the Skybar. We'll be right there.

I'm clear. You know what?

I'm sorry. Register's closed. Sorry.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? What?

Is that an ATM? That's where we drop off videos.

Is that an outside nightclub? That's your idea.

Is that...? It's the king of 21 Jump Street.

Is this a Visa or a Mastercard? Move your thumb.

Is this your first time? What?

It's a big step for both of us. Consider last night a favor.

It's a club with a jungle theme. You're a jungle theme.

It's my boss's card. I'll take care of that.

It's this pressure to get in. You must take control of yourself.

It's weird to be in here. But they stole your idea.

It's your wedding. Wait till after the ceremony.

Just pace yourself. What's up? Two, three, four.

Just pace yourself. What's up? Two, three, four.

Let's do some business. All right.

Let's do that, Steve! Sorry.

Let's do that, Steve! Sorry.

Let's go over this one more time. I know my duties as best man.

Let's mingle. Right.

Man! Works every time.

Maybe we'll hang out later? No chance.

Maybe you can clean the toilets. You're living on Fantasy Island.

Mr. Butabi, can you approve this? That looks fine and all that.

Mr. Butabi, I can't... Keep going. You want to get paid?

Mr. Zadir owns the place. Doug Butabi.

Mr. Zadir owns the place. Doug Butabi.

Mr. Zadir! How do you like our club?

My good hombre. Remember us? Doug and Steve Butabi.

Myself as a kid. So who are you really fighting with?

Nice. I was focused the whole time.

No, sir. I did not grab your ass. It's okay if you did.

No, that wouldn't be good. Look, here's what we do.

No. Yes. You're so funny and cute and tall.

No... Yes... This is the worst day of my life.

Not the card, sweetness, me. Shut up and swipe it.

Not you. Don't worry about it.

Nozzled you, my friend. Totally got me.

Of who? We'll kick his ass. No.

Oh, I love this song. I'm getting kind of sick of it.

Oh, Kamehl, you kill me. No, you kill me, Mr. Sanderson.

Oh, man. Great glutes. I don't care.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God. Did you just? 'Cos I just...

Oh, yes, chairs. Ottomans.

Only in a Limo. We nailed him.

Operator 238, please. Authorization. Card number?

Operator 238, please. Hello, Doug.

Or eat, then do what we did? Sounds good.

Our club? I cut you in. It was your idea.

Pets, what about pets? I got a cat.

Plus with my milky white skin... This is a major family crisis.

Put some cherries on that. Nice call.

Put some clothes on and come down. Isn't on our things to do list.

Raging party last night. Is that what my mother told you?

Richard Grieco. You know Steve? I just don't want to be sued.

See you, Richard Grieco. See you, Grieco's lady.

Seriously, it sounds better. Steve?

She can really keep you on track. Shut up...! Idiot.

Shit. The car. What about me?

should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Shut up. What?

So when are we gonna go out? I know a place with spinach wraps.

So, do you guys wanna dance? No.

Sorry about your van. No way. Richard Grieco!

Sorry, we're a bit busy tonight. Steve? I'll be right back.

Sounds good. Know what's wrong with this place?

Steve and Doug Butabi. Step right in.

Steve, stop! Nice poem, though. Sorry, Dad.

Steve, you're a jerkoff. I'm glad you shared that with me.

Steve! Whatever, Emily.

Steve...? Don't look.

Steven, repeat after me. After me.

Still friends? You know it.

Sweet ass dwelling, Mr. Zadir. It's a place to hang my hat.

Sweet ass sweet. Running a club is hard work.

Sweet suds, Mr. Zadir. But you know what makes a party?

Sweet suds, Mr. Zadir. But you know what makes a party?

Sweet! Sweet!

Tell him about the vampire idea. That's a dumb idea.

That place is rank. They let any asswad in the door.

that your son is not ready for this sort of commitment.

That's expensive. Gotta go.

That's just Weight Watchers... ATM. That's it.

that's no reason to refer to my intellect in a diminutive manner.

That's pretty Roosevelt of you. It's just what I believe in.

The card's fine. Bye, Doug. Bye, 238.

The owner. The man we want to be.

The place is kicking. Jumping like 21 Jump Street.

The Roxbury. Come out some time. I would.

There you are. We got scared.

These hotties are sweet. Sweet ass sweet.

They don't evaluate the clientele. I thought we just weren't cool enough.

They're right behind you. BMW... Vanilla, mostly.

Think about our future. You're Mount St. Helensing on me.

This is a completely new fee. Cool? Yeah.

Wait. Did you grab my ass? No.

Wait. That's that Zadir guy. Who are those guys with him?

Wanna dance? We're not in the club yet.

Was I too pushy? Did I speak well? You were totally articulate.

We can't get into that right now. Your names are not on the list.

We can't... We can. You know why?

We got a new lamp plant store. Plant lamp store. Much better.

We had a pretty sweet time, right? Sweet ass time.

We had a pretty sweet time, right? Sweet ass time.

We have something to do tonight. Yes. To get downstairs.

We only let people in on the list. We're on the list.

We saw you at the Roxbury. Right. So what do you want to do?

We will be. So no, but yes. If we ever get to see him again.

we won't have to hire salesmen.

we won't have to hire salesmen.

We're gonna go in. We're going in.

We're good looking? Very good looking. You especially.

We're on the list. Doug Butabi. Steve Butabi.

We're working our asses off. Our week's filling up quick.

What about that guy? Owns a restaurant. One.

What are you doing? That's an ambulance.

What did we do? We'll change. You can't change.

What the hell's he doing here? Make him stop.

What was the point of that? Sorry.

What? The fluffy whip was a big hit.

What's going on? Just some trespassers.

What's up? Did you know you were doing 50?

What's up? Feel good. All right.

What's up? I told you not to call anymore.

What's up? Just giving you an $80 ticket.

What's up? From out of town? Don't hit on the bridesmaid.

where I can call you Viv and leave out the ica.

Where's your car? Our dad got mad, took it away.

who after tomorrow will be Mr. and Mrs. Steven Butabi.

Who is it? Just a bunch of pound signs.

Who? Here, Dad.

who's too busy throwing his life away for Emily. Beep.

Why does it taste so sweet? 'Cos it's like candy.

Why is she wearing Mom's bathrobe? What do you think of my new chin?

With this ring, I thee wed. With this ring, I thee wed.

Yeah, right. Thanks, man.

Yeah, you. Very nice.

Yeah. Score. Very nice.

Yeah... for the most part. Even your brother isn't convinced.

Yemen. And that's not the only union.

Yes, sir. It has to be in a can.

Yes, there is. They have Cinemax. But there's no HBO. God!

Yes. Yes.

Yes. Man! That's quite a joke.

Yes... No! That is so funny.

You don't know him? What about his two friends?

You don't need boarding passes. Get away from us.

You don't work with Mr. Zadir? We just met him last night.

You got a number. We got a number.

You guys are a big waste of time. Como what?

You guys come here a lot? All the time.

You mean, like, nitrous oxide? No. What is that?

you should love it forever. Like one of your silk plants,

You should take a lesson from it. Grieco.

You stopped calling. Not because I didn't want to.

You wanna crunch it? Sure. Let's crunch.

You wanna go see a movie? Sure.

You want to dance? Yes.

You'll be very happy with these. How long do they last?

You're always thinking of me. The card's good. Bye, Doug.

You're an idiot. Oh yeah? You like it.

You're brothers? No.

You're brothers? No... Yes.

You're just way too much luggage. Shut up, Doug.

You're mad cowing on me. Relax. I'm nervous.

You're not here with anyone? Just my friend.

You're out of my will! I told you he was a jerk!

...it looks like the street. You know, cars and signs.

...to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony.

'Cos we're, like, sleeping when we have them.