Undercover Brother (2002) Edit

A bird gonna shit on my windshield?!

A bunch of slow white athletes?

A girl needs friends, Anton.

A man like me doesn't have any business in politics.

A movie. Come on, man!

A new hero emerged. His name, Undercover Brother.

A peanut! Shut up and get back to work!

A Soul Train reject with a Robin Hood complex.

A spectral analysis has ironically confirmed traces of poultry on Mr. Feather.

A staunch advocate for civil rights,...

A strong black woman.

A.k.a. Whitey, a.k.a. Mr. Charlie, a.k.a. Honky McGee.

About no 16 herbs and spices and giblets!

Absolutely.

Action is what Undercover Brother's all about.

African Americans entered the '70s...

After a generation of struggle...

Agents report to the ready room.

Ah, look who got the gun now.

Ah, man. Smart Brother, you's a bad mother...

Ah, solid. Hey!

All of this! How dare you!

All right, name two things lately.

All right. Revolution. Take care.

All the pieces of Operation Whitewash are in place.

Always trying to shut the white man down.

An African American in the White House.

And a country club membership.

And a crossover amp and subwoofer for your eight track.

And action!

And all they see is a threatening black man.

And as the millennium drew to a close disaster struck.

And black culture reached its high point,...

And Boyz II Men! We really sing!

And by the way, Undercover Screw Up,...

And cute, too. In a Theo Huxtable kind of way.

And everything the Brotherhood stands for.

And find out exactly what she knows.

And forced passage of the Emancipation Proclamation,...

And get a 32 ounce malt liquor absolutely free.

And get me a little bit of sleep.

And here's the extra mayonnaise you ordered. Yum, yum.

And I sure as hell ain't covering for you!

And I want to see everything...

And I'm tired of you disrespecting me!

And I've hacked into the bank security system.

And kick that ball of bigotry right over the goalpost of intolerance.

And look...

And me and you and Sistah Girl could make Oreos.

And no, not one of the Jackson Five.

And non fat lattes forever.

And now, am I correct in assuming that the Cadillac...

And now, the Channel 8 News with Wendy Marshall and Chuck Marlboro.

And O.J. really didn't do it?

And our never ending struggle against The Man,...

And say what it is to Undercover Brother.

And secondly, this is not a necklace,...

And sleeps with a white chick, you automatically say he's sold out?

And that's why we believe there's got to be...

And they look at me, and all they see...

And they won't be a problem, will they, Feather?

And though The Man escaped,...

And we've got to stop it before it's too late!

And what I know is good fried chicken.

And white women.

And you might not see it!

And you might not see it!

Anton Jackson.

Any final requests?

Apparently, he was erasing mortgage records...

Are my full breasts and my narrow waist...

Are we clear? Very good, sir.

Are you new here?

Are you ready to play some funky music, white boy?

As it turns out, I have just the product.

As you can see, the General is totally under our control.

At least he got the job done.

At the General's, we do chicken right on!

Atomic core overload in three minutes.

Atomic core, eh?

Attention angry black man in khakis.

Authorities questioned singer Macy Gray,...

Aw, hell, they moved.

Aw, that's too bad.

Babe Ruth... black man.

Baby, it was made in the '70s.

Baby... sometimes I'm too much man for my own damn self.

Back up off me! Let me tell you something about the word good.

Backstreet Boys!

Be careful. Let's go.

Because I don't work for you?

Beejeebies?

Before he loses his identity.

Before they kill him 30 minutes into the movie?

Behind every great black man...

Best of luck tonight.

Bitch!

Black eyed peas, Mashed potatoes, macaroni...

Black people all over the world are losing their damn minds.

Blackness confirmed. You got soul.

Boutwell has never backed down from controversial issues.

Breathe. Breathe.

Bringing nothing by my hopes and my dreams.

But I don't give a gosh darn.

But I remember a brother who wasn't afraid to be himself,...

But I wanted to let you know, I'm thinking about you, girl.

But I wasn't the only one. Jim Kelly!

But I'm a firm believer in everybody should do their own thang.

But in workin' with y'all, I've come to realize...

But my vest caught it, bitch!

But progress slowed in the decades that followed.

But she was released for lack of evidence.

But sometimes the big city can be so...

But this is about working together.

But this is kinda catchy.

But, sir, if we kill him,...

By leading the call for the Civil War,...

By The Man, a villain obsessed...

Bye bye.

Bye, brother. Come on.

Bye.

Can I ask you something?

Can you dig it?

Can you find out where the General is?

Careful. Puncture him and the hot air's liable to kill you.

Caucasian overload! Breathe.

Changed the face of our nation,...

Cher rr!

Chief, various brother agents, I owe all of you a huge apology.

Chiefie, baby, I'm a master of disguises.

Come here, baby.

Come in, Brotherhood. Are you digging me?

Come on over here. Hug me.

Come on, Anton.

Come on, Anton.

Come on, baby. Come on!

Come on, General, you got to give me that gun.

Come on, General. Let's go.

Come on, hurry up.

Come on, let's go!

Come on, Uncle Ben!

Come on, White She Devil. I been waiting.

Come on, y'all. Y'all telling me there's really a Man?

Come on!

Come on!

Come on! Go. Come on, ****a.

Come on! Come on.

Come on. You don't want to mess with me, man!

Come on. It's not fair.

Come on. Kid 'n Play.

Congratulations, Mr. Feather.

Corduroys are so comfortable.

Cornbread and the General's special... hot sauce!

Could you come in here, please?

Damn duck shoes.

Damn it, it doesn't matter what party!

Damn it, who is he?!

Damn it, who is that guy?

Damn it, woman, would you just back off?!

Damn it.

Damn it. Who was that guy?

Damn, who is that?

Damn!

Damn.

Damn. Look out, baby.

Data from the mainframe ready to commence.

Did you all know that George Washington Carver...

Didn't I blow your mind this time?

Didn't I?

Dig it! Dig it hard! Daddy!

Dig it.

Do it. Code 37.

Do not move! Quick! This way!

Do you have a better idea?

Do you like this?

Doesn't mean she can't do her job.

Don't let me catch your black ass in the news again.

Don't touch me!

Don't touch the 'fro. Back up off!

Don't you agree, Mr. Feather? Word.

Don't you give up on me!

Don't you move!

Don't you think your supporters in the African American community...

Double damn it!

E's and R's?

Ebonics, huh? I be thinking...

Eliminate him!

Elton John! Billie Jean King!

Enjoy, huh?

Enjoy. This is the best stuff.

Entering secure area.

Even Cher got an Oscar.

Everything we'll need to take it to The Man.

Everything's a party over here with you people, isn't it?

Everything's cool now that you're here.

Excellent work, White She Devil.

Excuse me, sir. This is a restricted... good God!

Fabulous.

Fabulous. I'll inform Multinational to step up production.

Falling in love with you wasn't part of the plan.

First of all, you forgot about my big, black, fuzzy balls.

First, our children hip hop all over the suburbs.

Floating down in your little pants!

For sheezy, my neezy. What did you say?

Frasier is on.

General Boutwell seems to have a lot of support all across the nation.

General Boutwell!

General Warren Boutwell, will run for President.

General, sir, are you all right? Yes.

General, what about desert?

Get off of me. Sorry.

Gets you every time! Spinning back kick!

Give it to me. Need it, got to have it.

Give me a pillow case! I'm joining the Klan.

Go get him.

Go od, meaning the absence of color,...

Go see a movie. A movie?

God, man!

Goddamn. My cookie would break you in half.

Golly, I must have tripped or something.

Gone. Bye.

Good God!

Good is an ancient Anglo Saxon word.

Good Lord.

Good Lord.

Good morning!

Good morning? Get on the desk!

Good morning. Think about it!

Good work, Sistah Girl.

Good work, White She Devil. Thanks.

Good work, White She Devil. Thanks.

Good.

Good. It's time to extend the reach...

Goodbye.

Got to get funky.

Got to get my cool back!

Great.

Great.

Have a great time.

Have you eaten here before, Anton?

Having stopped Operation Whitewash,...

He is considered the first African American...

He is considered the first African American...

He said he would stick his foot...

He shouldn't have called me a sissy.

He's failed me.

He's gonna have a conniption with a capital K.

He's got a gun!

He's making a fool out of himself over this crap.

He's only got a few seconds!

He's ready.

Headquarters, come in.

Headquarters...

Hell, no man can resist low interest loans...

Hell's wrong with you bringing a white girl in my house?

Hello ooo, Mr. James Brown.

Hello, Mr. James Brown.

Help! Thief! There's a thief here!

Her carpet matched her d****s? Excuse me?

Her saline solution.

Her tight little pockets and I found a list of The Man's targets.

Here are your shoes. I took the liberty of making a few modifications.

Here we go. You're in suite 54. Tobacco division.

Here you go, folks. Yum.

Here...

Here's one of your cigarettes.

Here's what's happening in your neck of the woods.

Hey, black man, turn on the generator.

Hey, brother, can I get a list...

Hey, I feel like George Clinton.

Hey, man, I want to get up and do my thing now.

Hey, slow down over there, people!

Hey, this isn't Taco Bell.

Hey, why don't you walk down that tunnel, black man?

Hey, y'all, did you hear something?

Heya, Chiefster. Lance. Nice pants.

Hi, there.

Hi, Ton ja.

Hi? What you mean, Hi?

Hi.

High, like the white man wants to keep us? Huh?

Hip and now fashion, and their cool slang...

His helicopter will be here in five minutes.

His name is Undercover Brother.

Hmm? It's got that hand rolled look and feel...

Hmm. Rasta man.

Hold it!

Hold it!

Hold on. I didn't say that, you did.

Hold that thought and that feelin', baby.

Hold the wheel, baby.

Holy moly, looks like the Source Awards in here.

Holy Motown.

Honey? Yeah?

How are you doing?

How can you do this to me?

How did you know I was hungry?

How many black people are gonna want to smoke this?

How you doing? James Brown.

How's it going there?

How's it going today?

Howdy. May I help you?

Hurry up, baby.

Hurting. Who's that?

Hustle, hustle! Come on, white girl!

I ain't eat nothing this morning.

I ain't got good food to eat!

I ain't never did nothing but good!

I am proud to announce...

I am... I am...

I believe this belongs to me.

I borrow money for my weed!

I call it...

I call it... Caucasiavision.

I can blend in like a good weave.

I can help you stop his evil plan.

I can't believe I let him get away. I am so stupid.

I can't throw this away.

I could use a smoke.

I couldn't have done it without Sistah Girl.

I developed a device that allows you...

I didn't know you had such a beautiful voice.

I don't care whose bank it is! Right.

I don't get it. What does The Man got to do with fried chicken?

I don't give a damn how sexy you look...

I don't need no gold. Don't need no jewels.

I don't think so, Sister Girl.

I feel black.

I feel good.

I found one. But it only works on one person at a time.

I got him.

I guess this means you and I are like brothers now, huh?

I guess you like what you saw earlier.

I had 'em, baby. Yeah, I saw.

I hate to say it,...

I have a cold.

I have sat on the sidelines of race relations long enough.

I hear he got all the funk that Sisqo missed.

I just bought those.

I just want to say...

I just watched this show...

I knew this could happen.

I know this is the wrong time,...

I know what it feels like to be discriminated against.

I know whose money is in it. I'm keeping it real.

I like black people.

I like him. He raps happy.

I made us some sandwiches. Extra mayo for me, please.

I mean, just because a girl has a healthy sexual appetite,...

I mean, your only competition must be the K.G.B.

I must be true to myself.

I never see that bitch in my secret agent classes!

I never trusted the Colonel!

I performed a full range spectral analysis...

I really don't want to talk about this over the telephone.

I said shut up, whitey! I got the power.

I said, You'd better open the bank and give me my money.

I said... for sure.

I saw a mock turtleneck at Eddie Bauer that's perfect for you.

I say we kill him. Shut the door, ****a.

I see white people. It's too much!

I sincerely hope so.

I sleep on a pissy mattress.

I swear to God I ain't done nothing wrong!

I think I'll lay down...

I think we may have found the perfect guinea pig.

I used to work for the Pentagon,...

I want the White House to stay white.

I want to march down that field of oppression...

I want to see my fans. No, it's okay.

I want to. Really, I do.

I was able to decode the data from Multinational Inc.

I was in secret agent school for three years!

I was outside. Jimmy!

I was sent to destroy you...

I wonder if he'll run as a Democrat or an Independent.

I.E... . It's all good,...

I'd ask this skinny black ass! In your face!

I'd put away this guava mango broccoli smoothie...

I'd recognize it anywhere.

I'll cross reference the bank's security camera with our database.

I'll get right on it. Whoa, hold on.

I'll transmit some computer files about the General.

I'm all the single white female you'll ever need.

I'm bouncin'. Shakin' a spot.

I'm cool, everybody.

I'm getting too old for this shit.

I'm gonna chop your feathers off and put you in Chinatown!

I'm gonna kill your black ass first thing in the morning!

I'm gonna report to the Chief, find out what he wants to do.

I'm playin' with him.

I'm so sorry. Here.

I'm so sorry. Let me help you.

I'm sorry, dawg, but you need... Hey, buddy,...

I'm still paying the loans off, man!

I'm undercover.

I've spent six months setting up this operation...

I've thought long and hard about how I can best serve my country...

If I hadn't read that article in Vanity Fair on anger management,...

If I mess up my boss' report,...

If I wanted to hear something stupid,...

If that is your real name.

If they're onto you, they might set up a trap.

If Undercover Brother don't get his shit together,...

If we can cut off his funds,...

If you gonna shoot me, shoot me.

If you're ever forced to eat this mayonnaise,...

If you're not here for Undercover Lover,...

Ignore her, Anton.

In fact, I've decided to use the General to launch Operation Whitewash.

In fact, the decorated four star general and Vietnam vet...

In mere seconds using subliminal imagery.

In which he is expected to announce...

Indeed, if ever there was a straighter arrow than Warren Boutwell,...

Influencing all facets of American life.

Introducing the Nappy Meal from G.F.C.

Intruders!

Is he crazy? Okay, slow down!

Is regarded as one of the country's...

Is that his big plan, to get black people to eat junk food?

Is that right? Come on, man!

Is that that damn Undercover Brother?! You in trouble.

Is the police.

Is there another agent on this case? Hell, no!

Is this Michael Bolton's version of that thong song?

It ain't no thang.

It can't possibly give much pleasure to the user.

It delivers a rather liberal spritzing of hot sauce.

It does now.

It is not possible. Watch out for the hand!

It is, isn't it? Yeah.

It sure can't. I mean, ask yourselves,...

It takes time to build up a tolerance like mine...

It taught me such a profound lesson about bigotry.

It would've been cool to have a Latino, a Native American, Asian,...

It'll be a very dangerous assignment.

It'll be your most vigorous training yet.

It's a great day for black people of all races.

It's a medallion given to me by my father...

It's a mind control drug, sir. Very powerful.

It's all over, man!

It's basically inadequate.

It's big. It's full of long lasting pleasure...

It's getting all racial up in this piece.

It's going to have you all paranoid and shit.

It's James Brown touchdown!

It's just not fair.

It's Macy Gray with pork chop sideburns!

It's on, baby. It's on.

It's pale, small, a little on the limp side.

It's revolution up in this bitch!

It's Sistah Girl, dude.

It's the honky patrol.

It's time for the big payback.

It's time to release our secret weapon.

It's time to say goodbye to Anton Jackson...

It's time to strike the final blow against the Brotherhood.

It's time to take it to The Man.

It's time to... platform out of here.

Jah mon, rasta.

Jeez, that's sweet of you.

Jesus Christ... black man.

John Singleton to remake Driving Miss Daisy?!

Just as I expected.

Just be careful with this. If you smoke too much,...

Just give me 10 minutes.

Just let it percolate. I'll be right back.

Just like a tight butt white man with a 401K plan...

Just one little bite.

Just when it seemed the funky spirit...

Kid and who? Come on.

Kung fool!

Kung fool!

Kung who?

Ladies and gentlemen, James Brown.

Lance, protect the General at all costs.

Lance, this is Undercover Brother.

Lance.

Lance. Lance!

Lay down the boogie.

Leave him.

Let 'em through!

Let me talk to them. I'm white.

Let me up!

Let's bounce, dawg.

Let's get while the getting's good.

Let's go! Let's get out of here!

Let's go! We got less than a minute before this place blows!

Let's just move on, shall we?

Let's see what this so called button does.

Life as you've known it will soon cease to exist.

Like a little piece of the cookie.

Like having sex with white girls?

Like the news or Ally McBeal, or the people that work at Saturn!

Listen...

Little by little we're blending and merging until one day...

Living and working and dancing together,...

Long.

Look at that white girl. Are you crazy?

Look at that. Look at that there.

Look at this mess. Oh, dear.

Look here, Undercover Brother, now that you're working for us,...

Look out, y'all, fallin' rocks!

Look, baby, let's stop fooling around.

Lord have mercy.

Losing control!

Made the first computer out of a peanut?

Madonna!

Man man.

Man, you know you ain't right.

Man, you look white!

May I help you, sir?

May I present to you The Fatty?

Maybe on Planet Ebonics. But where I come from,...

Maybe, but that would be some long division.

Meaning, I'm hunting ****as!

Most well respected public figures.

Mr. Elias, there's been a breach!

Mr. Elias, would you kindly take care...

Mr. Feather, your status report, please.

Multinational Inc. 's deal with the General.

My bad.

My gosh.

Name one thing the Republican party has done for black people. One!

Never know. Might be a Republican. Oh, please.

New one from Britney...

No doubt, that's what the Brotherhood is all about.

No matter how difficult, how dangerous, how good it might have felt.

No, but I want that one.

No, I haven't. It's my first time.

No, it's once you go black, you don't go back.

No, man. You can't be doing that. What were you doing?

No, you didn't. Yes, I did.

No!

No! It's all that!

No! Listen...

No! No! Oh, no!

No! Sometimes people, mostly white people, make things happen.

No. A cute butt?

Nonsense! General, kill him!

Not after they taste the General's fried chicken.

Not bad, whitey.

Not on my Cadillac!

Not that fast. We need some new blood on this case.

Not the one I know. You have to effectively position...

Not there, 'cause that's where people who swear go. Thank you very much.

Now Boutwell might be President?!

Now I help you to get your chicken on.

Now I've heard everything. Hey, hey, hey, now.

Now maybe you guys don't like the new me,...

Now that I'm no longer in uniform.

Now, any time you think you want to get feisty or throw down...

Now, Buffy the Black Man Slayer, step away from the brotha.

Now, I feel good.

Now, I've been a solo star shooting the shots...

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be going.

Now, Lance, we're counting on you.

Now, since time is of the essence,...

Now, that's a long way down.

Now, you get yo ass down there and see what you can find out!

Of the '70s would be lost forever,...

Of the nuisance in the communication room?

Of the words that trigger these fits?

Off shore accounts, dummy corporations, money laundering.

Oh, Anton, I can't wait to see you in these corduroys.

Oh, boy. Open up the window.

Oh, come on.

Oh, dear.

Oh, I don't judge people by how they dress,...

Oh, jeez! Too fast!

Oh, my. Jackson.

Oh, nothing relaxes a brother after a hard day of going undercover...

Oh, okay. Thank you.

Oh, that ain't right. What's the word?

Oh, there he is.

Oh, this is Lance, our intern.

Oh, Undercover Brother, you're too much man for me.

Oh, what am I gonna do?

Oh, what happened to me?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you in too. What the fuck?! Chief!

Oh! I'm hit!

Ohh! Right up the pooper!

Okay, Bruce Leroy, turn around.

Okay, he should never do his own thang.

Okay, how did the white boy get a job here at the Brotherhood?

Okay, we're here. Now be cool.

Okay. No, that sounds great.

Once you've had Undercover Brother, there is no other.

One blast should be enough to make Caucasian food edible.

Ooh, too funky for myself.

Open your eyes, Undercover Brother!

Opening a chain of fried chicken restaurants.

Or hot sauce.

Or the F.B.I.

Or their next move will be their last.

Order an eight piece Nappy Meal,...

Our only choice here is to infiltrate Multinational Inc.

Ow, my wrist.

Penelope Snow.

Perhaps we could meet at a secret location?

Perhaps we're all sold out.

Perimeter search. I'm on it.

Please exit in an orderly fashion.

Probable cause? No!

Punk ass bitch played himself.

Put down the mayonnaise... slowly.

Race? I'm not touching that one.

Really?

Really? Yeah, I just moved here...

Really? Usually I get Al Roker.

Remember this?

Remember? You told me to come over.

Reminds me of the Fresh Prince.

Right here?

Right on, sweet sistah.

Roger. Will do.

Sandwich.

Save your smart comments for the chunky brother in the smock!

Say it loud!

Say it loud!

Say it loud!

Say it loud! I'm black and I'm proud!

Say it loud.

Say, where's that caddy? I don't know.

Say!

Scrumptious.

See what I've been dealing with?

See what you can do with it. Right on.

Set the alarm to def con five!

Set the alarm to def con five!

Shaquille O'Neal!

She had pink nipples? Big ones.

She's transmitting! Are we up and ready? Yes, sir.

She's working with us now, Chief.

Shh, it's gonna be all right, baby. Don't look!

Shh, quiet! There it goes again.

Shit. What can I tell you? Affirmative action.

Shotgun!

Shut up!

Shut your mouth!

Sisqo! No ooo!

Sistah Girl, abort mission!

Sistah Girl, the camera's up.

Sistah Girl, Undercover Brother, come in.

Situation complete. We'll see you soon, Chief.

Skinny black... Hey!

Slaves cooked that chicken! Ain't no white man know...

Sleeps with black men.

Slow your roll, Chief. You know, I respect...

Slowly.

Smart Brother, am I gonna die?

Smart Brother, how's it coming with this antidote?

Smart Brother, if you so damn smart,...

Smart Brother, take White She Devil to the lab...

Smart Brother, that is not just a Caddy.

So I called in an expert on white culture.

So I can always have something to remember you by.

So I can fall in love with some cute black man...

So I never forget who I am or what I stand for.

So if you say good morning to me, you're saying,

So pay attention.

So that low income families wouldn't lose their homes.

So the entertainment industry really is out to get Spike Lee.

So the General sold out to The Man.

So wait, let me get this straight.

So, Mr. Godfather of Soul...

So, Sistah Girl,...

So, the conspiracies we've believed for all these years are really true?

So, this has all been some kind of jive game...

So, what's it going to be?!

So, when I return to the lair, Undercover Brother better be dead.

So, you're passing up a chance to be President...

Solid.

Solid.

Solid.

Solid.

Some connection between the General's announcement and The Man.

Some people got jungle fever. She got the flu.

Somebody! Somebody!

Someone is clearly overcompensating.

Son, you talk a lot of shit. Yes, I do.

Soon all aspects of society...

Sorry about all that. I shit on myself!

Sorry about that.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Spy in the building!

Stand here.

Stand up for what I think is right.

Starts wearing Dockers, buys a few Celine Dion records,...

Stick close to the target at all times.

Stop him!

Stop playin'.

Stop where you are! This is security!

Strong black woman. That's right.

Sure enough.

Surrender, Colonel, here comes the General.

Sweet and black on both sides...

Take a good look at it.

Take a seat. Don't mind if I do.

Take it!

Teamwork! Now, let's go!

Teamwork! That's right.

Terry McMillan? How Stella Got Her White Man Back?

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much. Nice to see you all.

Thank you, Jesus.

Thank you, Mister...

Thank you.

Thanks for all your help. Bye bye, Ton ja.

Thanks for the lift.

Thanks, Anton. You're so sweet.

That afro!

That cat'll be long gone by that time.

That he is a candidate for presidency of the United States.

That I thought would win the game.

That is a Cadillac Coupe DeVille.

That is the white man's tactic.

That only a team wins a championship.

That somebody in this room is selling out.

That tapers to my pert backside.

That teaches white people everything they know about the shrimp industry...

That's all for today.

That's all I'm saying. Hi, Conspiracy Brother.

That's an orange soda dispenser.

That's enough!

That's James Brown? That's mustard.

That's right! That's right!

That's right. I'm sorry, everybody.

That's right. It's goin' to the streets. Hey, y'all!

That's right. That's good.

That's so popular with today's black youth.

That's the kind of man we need around here. The keyword being man?

That's the number one flunkey of The Man.

That's too much white for one brother to take.

That's White She Devil, The Man's secret weapon.

The Brotherhood distributed an antidote to the mind control drug...

The Brotherhood had found their hero.

The Brotherhood has breached the communications room!

The Brotherhood is making their move.

The chicken!

The chief wants you to stay undercover until we decode this information.

The computer! Another idea stolen from the black man.

The flashing light and fan make the drop seem worse than it is.

The General is under the influence of a psycho hallucinogenic drug.

The General's lost his damn mind.

The Man.

The medallion keeps me cool. You dig?

The N.B.A. really instituted...

The only thing standing in our way is the Brotherhood.

The point is, by working together as one, we got the job done.

The revolution will not be televised.

The signal's stopped.

The so called Afro Bandit struck Multinational Bank.

The three point shot to give white boys a chance?

The world was once again a funky place.

Then I realized... you can't make Oreos.

Then, I gently brushed her hair.

Then, I reached deep within...

Then, I unlocked her subconscious using a special form of hypnosis.

Theoretically, yes, but it would take years to administer the doses individually.

There he is! Undercover Brother!

There was a secret organization dedicated to truth,...

There'll be another day to fight The Man.

There's times for falling apart, and there's times for getting funky.

These seemingly random events were in fact orchestrated...

They are taking over every aspect of our culture!

They gonna make Peking Pigeon out of you!

They had best step correct?

They look at you...

They never give black men credit.

They say you should always do what you know.

They stood against the tyranny of oppression...

They're going after James Brown tomorrow night at the Grammys.

They've all been exposed to the General's fried chicken.

Thief! Hey, give me that back!

Think about it.

This ain't no Ferrari.

This certainly will be an exciting race.

This chicken is the bomb.

This could be the first step on the road to putting...

This dinosaur is out there. Hey, black man, look out.

This has to do with discrediting the General.

This is a girl thing.

This is a job, not some kind of damn summer camp!

This is one of those funky times!

This is some kind of secret organization you have here.

This is strictly an observational mission.

This may be one battle we might lose to The Man.

This place is top secret. Solid.

This proves that The Man must be behind...

This thing's going down now, baby.

This woman just can't get... I meant the gun.

Three years. I paid for them classes myself.

To a press conference by General Warren Boutwell,...

To absorb the whole of white culture...

To be efficient, you'd need to develop a huge distribution system.

To be enjoyed again...

To black leaders in sports, the arts, entertainment and business.

To black people nationwide.

To buy my new fried chicken, that is.

To open a chicken joint?

Toast to the booty! Booty toast.

Today's my first day at Multinational.

Too funky for myself.

Trim the hair, and for God's sake, get rid of the clothes.

Turn it on.

Uh, White She Devil, what you doing here?

Unbeknownst to Undercover Brother,...

Undercover Brother, are you okay?

Undercover Brother, please. Go on back to work.

Undercover Brother, the world is safe once again thanks to you.

Undercover Brother, you're back!

Undercover Brother? Undercover Brother?

Undercover Brother.

Undercover Brother. Drop it!

Up my so called patootie. Damn it.

Very clever, Mr. Undercover Brother.

Very easy to use.

Vibrant leaders emerged...

Wait a minute. What's going on?

Wait! Look at that.

Waited a long time for this.

Was it everything I dreamed of? It was good.

Watch me. Get me Undercover Brother!

We are not authorized to take action.

We got to find out exactly what happened to the General, and fast!

We got to work together as a team, okay?

We have to stop this thing at the source.

We interrupt this broadcast to take you live...

We know The Man plans to make his move tonight.

We like to pronounce our E's and our R's,...

We may finally be able to stop The Man.

We need to make sure the process worked,...

We need to stop him. Find the General and give him the antidote.

We'd be hard pressed to find him.

We'll only be making him a hero.

We're all going to be one united people...

We're definitely on the right track.

We're gonna hook you right up. Holy funkadelic!

Welcome to the Brotherhood.

Well, if he does declare his candidacy,...

Well, observe this.

Well, they were the party of Lincoln.

Well, today...

Wendy? Yeah, he is a strong candidate, Chuck.

Whas ssup?!

What am I doing?!

What do you say there?

What do you think, Undercover Brother?

What girl? That girl!

What happened to you? He had sex with a white girl, that's what!

What have you done with the General? General?

What is that boy doing?

What it is, Chief?

What kind of self respecting black man would run as a Republican?

What object of Julia's did Ross see on his bedside table...

What the hell are you doing, old man?

What the hell happened at the bank?!

What the hell is your problem? Give me back my things!

What the hell?

What the... Dissed.

What took you so long?

What y'all are doing here at the Brotherhood,...

What, pray tell, can I do for you today?

What?

What? Are you kidding?

What? Did you hear that?

What? Here we go.

What? It's catchy.

What? Now?

What? Who? You can't just hire some fool off the streets.

What's going down? What are you doing with that girl?

What's going on here? Hey, Jimmy.

What's happening?

What's he doing?

What's up, Sistah Girl? Look at you!

Whatcha talk about, Willis?

When you go undercover, you have to do things you wouldn't normally do.

When you're dealing with The Man, it never is.

Whenever a black guy does well,...

Which freed the slaves.

Which it is, or Good Will Hunting,...

White girl or no white girl, where the hell have you been?

White She Devil, represent!

Who let the dogs out?

Who taught me to follow my own funky path,...

Who the hell are you, woman? You're the Grim Reaper!

Who's bad?

Who's there? Kung!

Who's there? Kung!

Why don't you explain what just happened?

Why? So you can tell me what a sellout I am again?

Will be particularly disappointed?

Will once again be dominated by The Man.

Will there be side dishes? Sweet potatoes...

Will you look at that?

With a dreamy white filling in the middle.

With my extensive and intimate knowledge of The Man's organization,...

With new found hope.

With some of Multinational's head honchos.

With some very interesting side effects.

With something like that, The Man could control every black person in America.

With turning back the clock on race relations.

With Undercover Brother dead, the Brotherhood had best step correct,...

Would Agent Jefferson please pick up the black courtesy phone?

Would anyone like some fried chicken?

Would you like to be my friend?

Would you mind terribly, killing this man?

Would you stop fooling around?

Y'all don't give a shit about me! I need a sponge bath.

Y'all don't got Conspiracy Brother Jones to kick around anymore!

Yeah, big ones. Yeah.

Yeah, it's my first day. Mine too.

Yeah, man. Let the team do it.

Yeah? Good.

Yeah? It's my money.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes, I know.

Yes, I'm alive!

Yes, indeedy.

Yes, ma'am.

Yes, our little experiment was a success.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. Come on, let's go!

Yes, sir. You did.

You are going to have to learn to like mayonnaise!

You brought a spy around me?!

You can all get the beejeebies out of here.

You can only keep an agent undercover for so long...

You can't help but use. Don't be dissing me!

You did good.

You enjoy yourself?

You go, girl! What's the dillio?

You got clippers, you got T.C.B. activator.

You got to stop beating yourself up.

You guys get the General out of here. I'm going after The Man.

You hear me?! I want you to blend in!

You heard The Man. As of now, Operation Whitewash goes global.

You hit me pretty good, but I wasn't ready.

You know how much this shit cost?

You know what I'm sayin'?

You know what I'm saying?!

You know what they say,

You know, he does have a point about that Colonel.

You know, you and I have tons in common.

You know, you're cute in a Theo Huxtable kind of way.

You know. U.B.!

You made me. Chief. Chief.

You mess with the 'fro, you got to go.

You must be here for Undercover Brother.

You need to lighten up.

You see how we're being corrupted by their...

You see what's happening?

You should have run her narrow ass over.

You sound like a 14 year old white chick.

You that Sistah Girl from the bank, huh?

You think things just happen by accident?

You trying to kill me? If you're going to pass in white America,...

You want some drama?

You were the only man outside the palace.

You will soon be administered a drug that will make you...

You're going to let the white boy join just like that?

You're gonna have to think and act...

You're gonna make me blush.

You're gonna need to memorize our rules and regulations.

You've got one.

You've got soul.

You've seen it all through history.

Your body's slammin', let's get to jammin'.

Your product within the black consumer.

...big.

'Cause I couldn't find them.

'Cause I was gonna go... Hold it right there...

'Cause like this medallion...