UnREAL - Season 1 Edit

A And if you could stay away from the booze on the road.

A And, uh...

A at the church dance. I want to testify.

A blast. Cheers.

A Cam, get in on Britney.

A couple of weeks on the cover of Us Weekly...

A few minutes away,

A journey that will be chronicled

A train wreck like that's not staying past tonight.

A women's studies major?

A year? And a whole another show?

A... They picked me to manage you guys tonight,

About yourself, about everything.

Acid, right? Acid?

Actually, um...

Actually, you don't. I handled it.

Adam Cromwell.

Adam knows I'm hot.

Adam needs a strong, confident woman by his side.

Adam will be going home with one lucky lady this week

Adam will have to choose one lucky lady

Adam, I want you to be my first, okay?

Adam, this could be so good.

Adam, you have one video invitation left.

Adam, you know, I've scouted this place, so...

Adam? Mm...

Adam.

Adam.

Adam.

Adam. Have you made your decision?

Adam. Hi.

Adam. Please.

Adam's a sensual guy.

Adam's been connected to you since day one,

After the mess you made.

Again.

Agreed.

Ah! Oh, my goodness.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. Yeah.

Aha. New demands.

Ahh.

Ahh.

AIDS babies?

All mine!

All of you, just burn in hell!

All right, Adam, uh, the thing is...

All right, all right. Let's just...

All right, bring it on down.

All right, come on, you guys, let's go sign out.

All right, Grace, come on.

All right, I could have dropped a new card in.

All right, I need the girls from Limo Three now, please.

All right, I'm on my way, and I'm pissed.

All right, just... just... just keep it on her, okay?

All right, ladies, phones, now.

All right, ladies. Head up to your rooms.

All right, let's go, people! Rachel? A word?

All right, let's lift it up.

All right, let's say I can turn him around.

All right, listen!

All right, people. Mary's video invite, take one.

All right, so, I'm gonna need a truck mount and a stabilized head.

All right, sweetie, I'll see you soon.

All right, um, look, the therapy was actually kind of helping.

All right, well, don't mind if I do.

All right, well, Faith, um...

All right, whether you know it or not,

All right, you've got to walkie Rachel. Give her the stats, right now.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. All yours.

All right. Here we go.

All right. See you at home.

All right. Uh, I'm so sorry.

All right. Who are you?

All we did was talk about your...

Also, he wouldn't sign his contract.

Am I right?

Amazing life that he's offering you.

Amy, I'm sorry. Look...

Amy.

And [American accent] fly over states are gonna love me [Normal voice] so...

And a lot of very blurry bits

And a verbal mention of the hotel name.

And a virgin, right?

And about finding true love.

And Amy for who you both are.

And Amy... She could come up here,

And besides, you're the one who keeps crawling into my bed.

And bring your boyfriend.

And can you please thank him for fitting me in?

And Christmas,

And clearly, it wasn't enough.

And cut. Cut, guys. We got it.

And each other?

And every single camera on this show.

And have a glass of champagne.

And he is a nice guy, but honestly,

And he just says, Okay.

And he looks young enough to be my step son,

And he meant it.

And he'd be rich.

And he's barely black, all right?

And he's good for me.

And her last relationship, it was, uh,

And here we are, where three become two.

And here we are... the final troika of lucky ladies,

And his penis was just right there, staring at me.

And honestly, it wasn't that big of a deal.

And I am handling it.

And I can have love, it's gonna soften the blow.

And I can't make a television show

And I could show her that we don't have to be outcasts.

And I could take her to San Francisco.

And I don't plan on following these ones, either.

And I have a million more ideas.

And I know how they end.

And I need Camera Nine to repo to evil bitch Britney.

And I swore I'd protect you.

And I want him to take my virginity...

And I want to reassure the women I'm currently courting

And I want you to come with me.

And I was sunburned, and I...

And I was, um, profoundly exhausted,

And I would have to be a sociopath

And I'd like you to be my first.

And I'm gonna repeat that on loop

And I'm gonna walk outside and I'm gonna show it

And I'm I'm the old...

And I'm sure that Mr. Wilton's credit card statements,

And I'm thinking if it all goes well,

And I've had a lovely time on the show.

And if I were you, I'd want him to, uh, take my flower.

And if you don't agree, I'm gonna take that footage,

And intellectual property suits

And is simply claiming recompense

And let's get those doubles on the horses.

And letting Chet take credit for my ideas is gonna give me that.

And log it and then hide it.

And made it look like the dumped girl goes mental...

And marriage proposals based on said promises

And maybe you can turn one of your dogs

And my church would kick me out.

And nobody's ever interested in me.

And now I have to fight with Anna over him?

And now it is time for your next decision, Adam.

And now that ice princess is pulling into the lead, and I'm just...

And pick out swatches for him.

And polo in Buenos Aires in the autumn.

And rainbows, and unicorns.

And replace my experienced A.D.

And see how that feels as your life.

And she has killer instincts for drama.

And she should go for it.

And she's gonna thank you for it one day. I promise.

And she's like, Oh, my baby daddy

And so, what, you fell for it?

And starve our villain, Britney,

And thank you.

And thanks to Jay for spotting that.

And that is not a wifey.

And that you can change.

And that you should, you know,

And that's why you came here, to try new things, right?

And the crazy thing is, I actually wanted to.

And the first time you did,

And the MILF to sign their contracts.

And then everything... Everything would be fixed.

And then he dumps her, and it's perfect.

And then I will do whatever I want to do.

And then just, you know, making some noises.

And then one thing led to another,

And then tweets a selfie?

And there would be this prince,

And this has been a very difficult decision for me.

And this was Jeremy's idea of how to make me feel better.

And transgender is now.

And was in foster care for years.

And we are going to make Chet

And we have so many other angles on her, you know?

And we know that those two things...

And what an incredible year at the vineyard we might have,

And what if I say no?

And what's the prince doing here? We just wanted to...

And while I see you as a friend and I always will, I...

And who's this nice, young man?

And wishing him dead?

And yet it's handled.

And yet you let her on the show?

And you definitely deserve to be happy.

And you didn't know how to say no.

And you feel like you're doing that?

And you got to reel that crap in, okay?

And you have to handle it.

And you haven't even kissed him.

And you insist that they shoot it at the vineyard

And you throw a single mom to the wolves.

And you, caralho, are getting absolutely nothing!

And you, Prince Charmless.

And you're saying that I can't be into her?

And you've got yourselves a deal.

And, Shia, you have other girls.

And, uh...

And, uh... okay, t the thing is...

And, uh... screw it.

And, um, and you did the pickups on the last of my girls?

And, um, well, this is her most precious possession.

And, um...

And, um... oh, he held my hand on the way up here.

And, what, did you, like, get her a job

And?

And...

And... And doing things

And... and I'm... and I'm paying off all of the damages, and...

And... and wanting me to testify.

And... go.

Anna, Grace, and Faith.

Anna, I know that you and I have a connection.

Anna.

Anna. Faith. Grace.

Another eight years down the road,

Any more than I already have.

Anyway, I wanted to say that,

Anyways...

Apparently...

Are almost impossible in Reality TV.

Are rodeo girls, like, not allowed to wax,

Are these gonna be big enough for you?

Are we done? 'Cause...

Are we friends?

Are we rolling?

Are you behind me?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? No way.

Are you leaving before round two?

Are you like an alcoholic or something?

Are you okay with this?

As "Royal Renovations."

As an excuse for not...

As anything but a crack whore...

As does he.

As he embarks on a year of construction and overhaul,

As long as you don't go running off with Jeremy

Assistant crack whore.

At getting that proposal next week.

At his vineyard.

At least two stayers.

At least, like, a few things that you wouldn't do.

At my new company, no questions asked.

At the, uh... At the church dance.

Aw. Why is she crying?

Awesome. Cool.

Awesome. I'll go with you.

Aww.

Aww.

Ay yi yi!

Ballsy move, Quinn.

Based on all of this... evidence,

Be in your business. You're better than that.

Because after this week, folks,

Because depressed people don't call.

Because he was actually interested in me,

Because he's the only person who asked.

Because I can see that something or someone

Because I created this... Everlasting.

Because I knocked up my ex wife with hate sex.

Because I looked into Lily Belle's eyes,

Because I own every inch of footage

Because I thought it was something smart for you to do

Because I'm not your meat puppet.

Because neither of those things can actually be handled.

Because of, um...

Because she's very smart and guarded,

Because that is a very important part of a relationship.

Because this guy knows how to look after us.

Because we need you here right now.

Before I can sling the ax.

Behind closed doors, it was... it was brutal.

Believe it or not...

Besides, my dad loved bulldogs.

Besides, she knew what she was in for.

Bitches beware.

Blood on the sheets ratings bonanza.

Boring.

Brad, everyone knows that you need a new hit show

Brainwashed contestants

Break his heart right there on the mansion steps.

Breaking it's really fun.

Bringing him home to meet your family?

Britney. Britney, you listen to me, okay?

Building between you and Adam.

Burn in hell, you witch!

But Amy, I promise you...

But before I can do that,

But first, I need to set up my parachute

But have you talked to your Gran yet?

But here at Everlasting, chivalry is not dead.

But I am with Jeremy now.

But I didn't say no.

But I don't want to be you, Quinn.

But I guess, with that whole Napa thing...

But I like her.

But I think I know where you're going with this.

But I told.

But I'm just saying that Adam... He's like a really great guy.

But I'm the executive producer of this show.

But if your name is not called, ladies,

But in this exact moment...

But it sure as hell means something now, doesn't it?

But it wasn't.

But now it is Anna's turn.

But one of the dates has to be at my hotel site in Napa.

But one of the dates has to be at my hotel site in Napa.

But only for those girls that he has decided to send home.

But she is not in her right mind.

But she is... incredibly stubborn.

But she's got to come out sometime.

But since I'm on camera, I got to blend in.

But Subject 21 was adopted

But tell the story once and, uh, they latch on.

But the audience has been feeling a ton of heat

But then Quinn started talking about lawyers and suing Chet

But this one, I swear it's gonna be right up your alley.

But this... is eight years of ideas I never told Chet about.

But ultimately, I can't deny the physical chemistry

But we both know it's not true.

But we've never acted on them.

But what? I mean, come on.

But whatever, all right?

But where is Limo Three?

But who has definitely piqued my curiosity.

But will Anna rise to the occasion?

But, Quinn...

But, Rachel, seriously, what the hell? I called, like, a lot.

But, Rachel, you were with Jeremy,

But, then again, you're my boss, too, so...

But, um [laughs] no, seriously,

But, um, I do... look, I've got something that you might...

But, unfortunately,

But, you know, maybe make an exception.

But...

But... let's be honest.

Bye, babe.

Call Chet, and tell him what you're up to?

Call me when you're ready to pitch your best ideas.

Calm down?

Calm down.

Camera A, follow Britney.

Cameras up, people.

Can accept me,

Can I ask you a weird question?

Can I steal you for a second?

Can only shoot in hard night, and I need a frickin' show!

Can run away to San Francisco and live happily ever after

Can somebody get me a drink, please?!

Can somebody please get us a drink today?

Can you excuse me for just a second?

Can you imagine seeing the world with him

Can you just let me know?

Can you just... Am I being an idiot?

Cheers.

Cheers.

Chet forced himself on you.

Chet know you're here?

Chet said he would hook me up

Chet stole Everlasting from both of us.

Chet tells me that you're doing a great job,

Chet to Quinn. I'm waiting.

Chet Wilton... creator of Everlasting... big kahuna.

CHET: That's it right there.

Chet!

Chet... I I I mean, that's not...

Chet's screwing me.

Choice is yours.

Chug it, birthday boy!

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Claire, the last eight weeks have been the best of my life.

Claire, you're somebody's child.

Classy.

Come here, my sweet, little tater, and hug my neck.

Come here.

Come in. Have a seat.

Come on, Adam. Pick me.

Come on, be nice.

Come on, come on.

Come on, listen. You you should get some rest.

Come on, Rachel.

Come on, you made a fool of me once already.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. God, no. I just... uh, God.

Come on. I think you're gonna want to see this one.

Come on. Let's go. Get in here.

Come on. Sit down with me.

Completely honest about myself.

Completely...

Considering it?

Copy that.

Copy that.

Copy that.

Cover her coming out.

Covering it up feels weird.

Crap!

Crap.

Crazy in the head, crazy in bed, right?

Crazy. I'm so tired.

Crazy's back.

Crystal. Crystal, will you stay, please?

D don't you think that Adam is a nice young boy?

Damn it!

Damn it.

Damn it.

Damn, that was good.

Damned if a girl can't read a blueprint.

Dan... uh, first A.D.

Dang. That's... That's the point.

Darling, if you wanted to cop a feel, just ask.

Dealing with other people's lives? What...

Dealing with the women is... that's your job!

Delicate, little flower?

Depressed?

Did he force you?

Did I do something wrong?

Did someone scare you, Mary?

Did they have to pump Madison's stomach to get the sample?

Did you just call me a slut?

Did you just use being sunburned as...

Did you know about this?

Did you see that circus?

Did you tell her to do that?

Do not move from this limo until I tell you.

Do what?

Do you feel good?

Do you really think that he wants some, like,

Do you really want her life?

Do you think he bought it?

Do you want it?

Do you want to do something

Do your job.

Does Matthew Shepard ring a bell?

Does that count? Well, of course it does.

Does that matter?

Don't be.

Don't ever lie to me like that again.

Don't everybody rush to hug me at one time.

Don't know, saving African AIDS babies,

Don't let them leave from this limo, okay?

Don't say anything.

Don't worry, Lizzie. Come here. Give me a kiss.

Don't worry. Yeah.

Don't you think?

Done did me wrong with Little Booboo.

Done, all right?

Dr. Phil was a nobody once, too.

Dude, I know how to sell a location.

Dude.

Each one of these dates is a chance to show Adam

Eh. Okay.

Ehh. Mostly.

Either ball up and give a shit,

Even you can't bail me out of this.

Every second you're not here.

Everybody judges you. It's, like, so unfair.

Everybody, back to one, please! Let's hustle!

Everybody! She just burned Chet!

Everyone, back to your marks.

Everything is, uh, right as rain.

Exactly.

Exactly. This is all fake.

Except that...

Explaining to Adam

Fair enough. But this gets to you.

Faith wants to win.

Faith, it's time for you to go home.

Faith, sweetie? Faith?

Faith, why did you come on TV

Faith, will you continue this journey with me for another week?

Faith, will you stay, please?

Faith, you and I, w w w w we...

Faith, you seem uncomfortable.

Faith, you're absolutely right.

Faith?

Faith.

Faith.

Faith...

Faith's coming out could be seen by 15 million people.

Final touches, please.

Finally.

Finally. That is what I'm talking about.

Find Britney. There you go.

Find somewhere where we can put these down?

Fine.

Fine. That's fine by me,

First girl out of the carriage is always a wifey,

First night back,

Flying in.

Followed up by a church dance...

For being a dull, dead eyed loser.

For like another three hours, and we have a lot of setup.

For renewal, and, uh, this is so weird.

For the civil charges, though.

For the crazy, all right?

For the last two hours.

For the one on one tonight, you... you really need to

For this afternoon.

For your future, and I still think that.

From one slut to another.

Full partner.

Gay is so... actually, it's like two years ago,

Gay people around here?

Get camera A over there.

Get me some chemistry.

Get me some good TV!

Get me some one on one interviews.

Get me someone else now.

Get out.

Get out. You too.

Getting out.

Give it back.

Give me that. Give me that.

Give me the damn bear.

Give me the keys! Don't! Hey, hey, hey!

Giving into him, in particular,

Go for Rachel.

Go play house in his little log cabin?

Go volunteer at women's shelters?

God, I look like a drowned rat, huh?

God, I'm gonna piss my myself

God, it was... I mean, he's everything.

God, she even offends me.

God's gonna strike me down for loving a woman.

God's grace is in me, Rachel. I can feel it.

Good talk.

Good.

Got it.

Got it. Thanks!

Got me boo yah ratings last season.

Got me booyah ratings last season.

Grace, I'm sorry he's such an idiot.

Grace, you guys have had a connection since day one.

GRAHAM: Welcome to Everlasting.

GRAN: Bathroom's on the left, hon!

Grandma! Nice.

Great job on the ceremony tonight.

Great.

Guess who has the sperm count of a 21 year old?

Gunner, Jamie.

Ha!

Hand me my phone, will you?

Has she been easy?

Have a good show, everybody.

Have a real life and real friends.

Have you ever thought that you and Amy,

Have you never had to play by anybody else's rules?

Have you never kissed anybody for real?

Having never been honest about what you really want.

He did the same thing to me a long time ago.

He has his hand on her boob.

He is the British heir to the Cromwell Hotel fortune.

He looks like he'd rather be chewing cud than meeting hot girls.

He read the damn logs from the Faith trip.

He said he wanted to show it to his lawyers in London,

He said we didn't have any drama in this ep, and...

He would never, ever hurt you.

He... he... he thinks you're a total MILF.

He's 29.

He's a really, really good guy.

He's about as charming as a corpse.

He's about to dump you.

He's going to have to reclaim those bracelets...

He's only saying this stuff to you.

He's such a great guy,

He's trying to say that I stalked him.

Heads up.

Heard you did well on the road.

Hell, nothing should, right?

Hello, ladies, and welcome to Everlasting!

Hello?! Get out of here!

Hello?! Nobody?!

Helping them through their intimacy issues.

Her husband was physically abusive.

Here we go.

Here we go. This'll be good.

Here you go.

Here.

Here.

Hey, Chet, can I steal you for a quick minute?

Hey, do you remember coming out to your parents?

Hey, Faith, you all right?

Hey, go back... Cut back to that shot

Hey, Goldberg, where the hell you been?

Hey, Grace, y... um, where you going?

Hey, Gran looks great.

Hey, Gran? Uh, would you excuse us for just a minute?

Hey, guys, time out, guys.

Hey, how'd everything go at the lady doctor?

Hey, Jeremy.

Hey, let me undo a couple of buttons

Hey, listen.

Hey, Maddie!

Hey, mo... new girl, move, move. Thank you.

Hey, pretty boy, come here, please.

Hey, so, I think we're gonna, um,

Hey, that's a big step.

Hey, uh, can I have a word?

Hey, uh, Madison, you know, why don't we, uh,

Hey, uh, yeah, you just... you didn't have to do that.

Hey, uh...

Hey, um, tiny girl, I really have to pee, here...

Hey, weirdo. Hi.

Hey, you remember when you used to be

Hey!

Hey! Hey, stop! Stop! I'm not gonna move.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hi.

Hey. Hi.

Hey. Hi. I, uh...

Hey. Staying strong?

Hi, Faith.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Dorothy, this is really important.

Hi. Hey. Wait, uh... Hey.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. How's it going? Hey.

Hi. I'm Faith.

Hi. I'm Rachel.

Hi. Yeah.

His name is Adam Cromwell.

Hit the kid, too, broke her arm,

Hit the kid, too, broke her arm.

Hm.

Hold the roll!

Hollywood Tonight's airing next week's promo.

Holy crap!

Honestly, I don't care, as long as I'm with you.

Honestly, I'm... look, I'm with you on this one.

Honestly, that would be, like...

Honestly?

Horses...

How about the way they introduced those horrible girls?

How can you pick me if you don't know who I am?

How could you not think that?

How did it feel when that...

How does it feel having all of this bottled up all the time?

How far do you want that track?

How I planned to do this.

How long until you're folding his laundry

How's it going with Adam?

How's your night going?

Huge finale ratings.

Huh?

Huh?

Hustle, hustle.

I actually don't even know what you're talking about, Rachel.

I am gonna get you a lawyer, okay?

I am not just some slutty salsa dancer

I am serious about putting my past behind me

I am so sorry for interrupting, Faith,

I am suing for palimony, promissory estoppel, and fraud.

I am tired of pretending that I can run from this.

I am, okay?

I am...

I bet you do.

I can cover Rachel's girls while she's gone.

I can do a lot, Quinn, but I can't control the weather.

I can not believe that I have to ask this again,

I can offer you the world if you let me.

I can work anywhere.

I can't believe it!

I can't believe that they're just telling us about it right now, right?

I can't deal with all these other people's lives.

I can't do it, Rach.

I can't.

I cannot wait for you to see Gran's ranch.

I care about you.

I cleaned up her mess.

I clearly have issues with my boundaries.

I didn't have my phone. I I didn't.

I didn't know you were here.

I do, yeah.

I don't belong to you. I...

I don't care.

I don't even know... I've never met him.

I don't follow. I'm not... What...

I don't intend to stick around for another.

I don't know if anyone's told you, but you are a player.

I don't know what you did to get Faith's head all screwed up,

I don't know, it's all a bunch of crap, anyways.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. Amy and I sort of practiced on our pillows at camp but...

I don't know. Do you think that you're, like, forward

I don't know. Have you...

I don't own a billion dollar franchise.

I don't really do well, you know, with happiness.

I don't think I peed or sat down once all night.

I don't think we're meant to marry.

I don't want to be doing this crap any more than you do.

I don't want to fight it anymore.

I don't. Jeremy, can you just stop?

I don't... I I I don't want some Rachel story.

I don't... no, no, no. Hey, no, no, no.

I even got Grandma's church

I feel great.

I feel like that was silly... Sledgehammering a foam brick.

I get it.

I got it. It's gonna be good TV.

I got to get off.

I got to get off. No, no. No.

I guess I I just want you to know

I guess it keeps me sane.

I had Rachel fly out and convince the lawyer

I had the courts transfer your psychiatric care

I hate it when Rachel goes off walkie.

I have a brain and a heart. He needs to see that.

I have advised her not to,

I have an idea.

I have nothing, people, okay?

I have other suitors, you know,

I have to take a shower.

I have to work for a living, all right?

I have with the other women.

I hear we have a situation.

I hope it doesn't rain.

I I don't care, as long as it's true.

I I know that there is another Mary in there...

I I...

I I... What do you want me to say?

I It is, right?

I judge everyone.

I just did what I felt in my heart.

I just have a question for you.

I just love that sort of thing.

I just need you to, uh,

I just needed to get you out of my system.

I just realized that I don't want to be with Chet.

I just think I should give it a chance.

I just told her that he was very sexual

I just want to remind you that there used to be

I just want to see her married before I die.

I just...

I just... Can someone get me a drink?

I just... I would never want you

I kind of heard some talk today about Rachel.

I kind of like it, though,

I knew it. Grace.

I know him.

I know I am.

I know I don't look the part.

I know it's not Paris, but...

I know that's a really big deal for you, you know,

I know the job.

I know you... or at least I know your agenda.

I know you're a big shot lawyer, but what about fun?

I know you're not ready to get engaged...

I know, but the thing is, Shia,

I know.

I know.

I know.

I know. I can't wait. It's gonna be so good!

I know. I'm so sorry. I...

I know. Shocker.

I like Paris in spring,

I like your boundaries.

I like, um... I like nerdy stuff.

I love you, Rach.

I love you, too! [Laughs]

I m... I mean, n... Well, is that what this is about?

I mean,

I mean, bury it, burn it,

I mean, but, you know, you did come on kind of strong.

I mean, did I do something wrong?

I mean, he is my boss.

I mean, honestly, you guys,

I mean, I have to keep a schedule,

I mean, I'll see if I can find

I mean, it feel good?

I mean, it sounds like a really, um,

I mean, it's a huge, huge platform.

I mean, judging from this tape,

I mean, kind of.

I mean, that's the reason

I mean, the people need to know that we care,

I mean, we think it's really great,

I mean, we're on location.

I mean, why did you decide to do this show?

I mean, y y you...

I mean, you don't seem naive,

I mean, you guys got the car back,

I mean, you know, I'm not traveling, so...

I mean, you're asking about all of it?

I mean...

I mean...

I might ask you to do for me this week.

I must be unlovable.

I need 10 times more pillar candles, people!

I need a sound bite before she goes.

I need Loser Cam on Manly Rodeo Queen,

I need my dragon well rested.

I need to see that you have learned from this,

I need you to get off of my set,

I need you to pull out that coming out bit and...

I needed this!

I own the bulldozer. I own the chains.

I promise you the world has really changed.

I promise.

I promised I'd marry Adam.

I really am.

I really have to pee. Do you guys have to go?

I remember. Yeah, I remember. I understand. I got it.

I saw her tear out of here

I saw you two talking on the front lawn, and it looked...

I see Faith. I'll prep her.

I signed on for one season of this. One season, that's it.

I spent a long time trying to imagine our life together

I suppose I wouldn't mind if this crazy chapter in my life

I swear, Rachel slips in shit and lands in money.

I think I have a razor in the car.

I think I'm a little out of my league.

I think I'm a little out of my league.

I think I'm actually falling for him.

I think I'm just gonna stay behind, get a ride with transpo.

I think there might be another way to solve this.

I think they're great.

I think we walk away right now, we find out.

I think you did something good for Faith,

I think you look like a mermaid.

I think you'd love London.

I thought I would go off to Hollywood,

I thought I'd be going home this week.

I thought she was gonna come out

I thought that was very romantic of him.

I thought they rode.

I thought... I mean, weren't you...

I told him about the backup guy.

I told my family.

I told the police.

I told you that.

I took my eyes off him for a minute, and...

I trust that you'll do that.

I understand.

I want an honest to God, ring on the finger,

I want guaranteed shots of the signs

I want my own segments working with the girls,

I want the truth.

I want to be Chet.

I want to cut out the middleman.

I want to dance.

I want to do it again tomorrow.

I want to explain why I haven't been

I want to get ahead of it.

I want to make a baby. Come on.

I want to pickle the rest of them, okay?

I want to quit the show.

I want to win this thing.

I want you to stay the course, okay?

I wanted to see you.

I was just saying that, like,

I was just thinking about you.

I was that bad?

I was trying to open a new hotel, and...

I was, um...

I was... was trying to sex things up...

I went to the urologist today.

I will double check, yeah. Thank you.

I wonder why Adam gave this straight to Chet.

I would be honored. Thank you.

I would do anything to protect my baby.

I would... I would love to meet him.

I wouldn't say so, no.

I wouldn't shy away from the chemistry that you have with Adam

I wouldn't worry about that,

I, uh...

I, um, I've never e...

I, um... I plan on taking this serious step

I...

I... I really said that.

I... Okay, got it. Uh, uh, Rachel?

I...don't even know what to say.

I...I just miss my kid. I'm too old for this.

I...was with Quinn.

I'd have to think about it.

I'd love to meet your daughter.

I'll be a bad boy again.

I'll do it.

I'll figure it out.

I'll give you a minute.

I'll go do it. I'll go talk to her.

I'll just be married to you.

I'll just wait...

I'll let my client do the honors.

I'll show you the house, and, you know,

I'll take that.

I'm a virgin.

I'm agreeing to her original terms.

I'm asking.

I'm coming!

I'm going to get fired.

I'm gonna be writing my novel. Where are you gonna be?

I'm gonna help you, all right?

I'm gonna meet my wife tonight!

I'm gonna stay here and make them all believe.

I'm good with you.

I'm good. I don't want in.

I'm implying that we may have another way to make a case.

I'm in love with Amy.

I'm just saying that I think

I'm not asking you to move in or anything.

I'm not even supposed to be telling you this,

I'm not... attracted to you.

I'm off the freakin' show!

I'm on it.

I'm pissed, too, Britney.

I'm Quinn. Uh, we've never officially met,

I'm Shamiqua.

I'm shocked that I'm still here.

I'm sorry about that, kiddo.

I'm sorry, what did you just say?

I'm sorry, what does that mean?

I'm sorry, what was so offensive

I'm sorry, your below the line, coupon cutting boyfriend

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Excuse me, did... Jay Jay brought it to you, huh?

I'm still waiting on the, uh, trial

I'm sure your parents see your tender little heart.

I'm surprised she can feel anything

I'm the old... Old, desperate one.

I'm thinking I may not even do "Royal Renovations."

I'm thinking, like, a silhouette in the window

I'm tired of being ignored, made fun of,

I'm trying to help her out.

I'm...

I've been praying on it.

I've been talking about gluten and CrossFit

I've got a friend coming to pick me up,

I've got a new script.

I've got to find my way out of here somehow.

I've really enjoyed getting to know each of you.

If I don't.

If I drew a vagina on a white piece of paper, you'd probably hit on it.

If I found something big.

If I stopped running my ideas by Chet, that well would run dry.

If she can see that I can have friends

If the last van's shown up yet from Napa?

If you have the right person to share it with.

If you walk away right now, they're gonna get the last word.

If you were so confused about this stuff?

Imagine what I can do for you.

In exchange for...?

In my sweatpants, under the covers,

In our new show next season... "Royal Renovations."

In the form of a 40% stake in Everlasting.

Into a dark horse, okay?

Into the new millennium! Should we do it?

Is gonna get a chance to enjoy a solo date with Adam

Is gonna offer you something more interesting

Is great, isn't it?

Is he saying these things to the other girls?

Is it true you and Chet are connected

Is talk about being a virgin.

Is that really what you want? If I go for her, I'm gonna get her.

Is that something you want to do?

Is that what you want?

Is that why?

Is that...?

Is this 'cause you have some trash bags over at my place?

Is you've been stalking my client.

It feels a little like blackmail.

It feels pretty real with everyone.

It helps people face the truth.

It is not my fault that America's racist, people.

It just makes me so sad,

It makes you sick, Rach.

It might also be

It shouldn't.

It was just a small thing.

It was right having you here.

It was rough, right, Doc?

It'd be awful if he ended up with some sad sack

It's 10k off your debt if you can pop her cherry in Dixie.

It's a farce.

It's a little bit surreal being back, but...

It's a subject for two married people

It's about to get interesting.

It's all right. I won't tell Quinn, I promise.

It's beautiful.

It's been so great to see all y'all,

It's Chet.

It's fun.

It's gonna be an exciting year.

It's good, and it's weird.

It's Jay. Leave a message. [Beep]

It's just giving me God bumps all over me!

It's just not gonna work.

It's just not like this for me on the show, you know?

It's just that Jeremy and I have really started talking about...

It's just way too much for me.

It's like the... the... the rodeo girl,

It's like you guys have never heard that word before.

It's my idea.

It's not all fun and games, though.

It's not healthy for me. I'm sorry, Adam.

It's okay. I got it.

It's okay. We're good. Good talk.

It's so exciting.

It's so muddy out there already.

It's so windy outside right now.

It's super hot, and guys are into that.

It's terrifying, actually.

It's too much, Rachel, all right? It's Episode 1.

It's true.

It's your word against his.

It's, uh... It's very unfamiliar.

It's...

It's... It's... Anna and Grace... it's just fiction.

It's... you know, finish the show, give Gran a thrill.

Jay, I need you to kill the footage.

Jeremy never told you what happened?

Jeremy?

Jeremy?

Jeremy's scared 'cause he's never played beer pong before.

Jesus freak, boob job...

Join the Peace Corps if you want,

Joy. Pepper. Grace. Anna.

Jumping my fallopian tubes in a single bound.

Just be a good meat puppet and do as I say.

Just get your ass in here now.

Just go get our show pony, now!

Just let go. Let go of the button.

Just like every other one of your other crap business deals.

Just pick sex over class 'cause I'm just a shallow manwhore.

Just repay me. You owe me big time

Just say it out loud.

Just shut up.

Just stop living like a homeless person for a night.

Just turn... put the camera down, okay?

Just watch. It's fine.

Just... everybody act like everything's fine.

Just... I... I, uh... God, that feels so good.

Keep it there, please.

Kind of destabilized you last time. Mexico?

Kind of in the middle of something right now.

Kissing is supposed to feel really good.

L look, I'm sorry, okay,

Ladies, as you know, when Adam calls your name,

Ladies, I wish I could go home

Learning a lesson.

Leaving the business, and... I know, just, like starting new.

Legally, I mean.

Let me take you home.

Let's get out.

Let's give 'em something that they want!

Let's go chat, okay?

Let's go, people! Oh, look at the candles.

Let's go, people.

Let's go.

Let's just kick this hillbilly town's ass

Let's just stay on topic, shall we?

Let's not break it.

Like [moans sexually] you know.

Like art galleries and books and theater.

Like the... The land mines?

Like what?

Like, bad.

Like, not... not super specifically...

Like, she's a very important person in your life,

Like, uh, howdy doody kind of...

Listen to me.

Listen, he's an idiot, but I really think that

Listen, hey, about the baby thing...

Listen, I I I just want you

Listen, why are you taking this so literally?

Listen. He's completely open to you.

Little weirdo and I have been having a blast.

Little, old Rachel, now, do you?

Look at Adam, being so nice.

Look at my arm!

Look at that.

Look at that... classy, elegant, totally on brand.

Look at you, Cromwell, getting the hang of it.

Look, I don't know how in the hell this just happened,

Look, I just don't want to get that weird kind of cancer

Look, I know what happened.

Look, I know you care about Jeremy,

Look, it's Mary. I tried.

Look, you don't belong to anyone, Rachel.

Looked like you guys were having fun.

Looking forward to a wonderful day.

Lord knows I won't give a hoot.

Loveable.

Maddie, get Rachel, please. Rachel!

Made you scared of your own power.

Madison came to me for counsel,

Make him jump off a bridge.

Making sweet love to your soon to be bride?

Malaria... that's... that's one of my causes.

Mama's still got it.

MAN: Standby for Mary's video invite. Take one.

Mary, will you stay, please?

Mary, your story moved and impressed me.

Mary.

Mary.

Mary. Hi.

Maya. Maya, will you stay, please?

Maybe he spotted her super shrub

Maybe we could talk spin off.

Maybe.

Me, too.

Me, too.

Me?

Mm hmm?

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm, no, thanks.

Mm, that could be any man.

Mm.

Mm. And all these credit card charges are in your name.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm. [Laughs]

Mnh mnh.

More than anyone in the world.

More than you need a drinking buddy.

Mostly, yeah.

Move! Don't thank me, all right?

My client has one last piece of evidence

My client has turned down job offers

My congregation needs to know

My daughter, she is...

My dream, to be able to do that much good.

My family is gonna disown me,

My God! Oh, my God!

My own, without my father.

My physical relationship with Adam has been hot and sexy

My therapist says that I can't really travel

My, my, my, look what the cat dragged home.

Napa, I was...

Napa?

Neither did he, but...

Never mind.

Next week on Everlasting,

Nice job, lady. How did you get him to pick Faith?

Nice with the cameras. That was nice.

Nice.

Nice.

Nice. Help her out.

Nice. People are going to hate her.

Nicely done, Rachel.

Nicely done.

No Adam, no show.

No, all this proves is that you developed something,

No, Doctor, you... on the side, you got to...

No, don't... Don't mention it. Faith's great for ratings,

No, Faith.

No, he actually pays cash.

No, I don't think that.

No, I mean just once that's all... all done.

No, I mean, tha... That's not gonna happen, either,

No, I'll do it. I'll go talk to her.

No, I'm not gonna do that to you.

No, if you think that I wanted this just for the show, I...

No, it's not.

No, it's not... It's not Grace.

No, it's proof positive that the show was Quinn's idea.

No, it's too big to wear at work, okay?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, Quinn. That's not what I wanted...

No, no, no. I'm fine.

No, no, they cut crazy pants

No, no.

No, only 'cause you're acting old.

No, please. That was that was lovely.

No, push the button. Push it!

No, Rachel, Rachel, don't do this!

No, Shia, I got it. Stand down.

No, thank you. Can we cut, please?

No, the clowns would kill her.

No, they're not ready!

No, uh, actually, it's, uh, it's a lady doctor appointment

No, we don't.

No, you know what?

No, you're a total softie, I can tell.

No!

No! All right?

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. I just called myself a slut.

No. I know, I know. I got it, okay?

No. No, no, no, no.

No. They don't.

No. This is not happening.

No. You know what?

Nobody here does anything to be nice.

Nobody told me they were your...

Nobody will tell me...

Nobody? I don't know? Limo Three.

Nobody's gonna bet money on your hotel

None of you have ever had a bad day?

Not anymore.

Not as weird as outing someone who's not ready yet, Rach.

Not depressed people when they're depressed.

Not drinking, and you did a totally selfless act today?

Not even a a right hand woman.

Not his Mexican hooker.

Not if you really want to be with Jeremy.

Not just for these or this.

Not just some diva who'll go shopping

Not some fake proposal.

Not to mention photographs.

Not to mention pressured to do illegal shit.

Not to mention the fact that Quinn wants to shoot me

Now it's making so much more sense.

Now just get back to work, you limey prick.

Now just get back to work, you limey prick.

Now let's go have a conversation.

Now relax and enjoy the day, sweetheart.

Now the rest of you ladies will be making video invitations

Now, go start planning a honeymoon, lover.

Now, I can see that you all have received

Now, I'm assuming you threw a towel or your sweatshirt

Now, uh, get your ass into your office,

Now, without further ado, your suitor... Adam Cromwell!

Of a powerful animal between your legs.

Of course he threatened to kill me if I told.

Of course, sweetie, come on. You're crazy.

Of course. Done, all right?

Of growing up, don't you think, Faith?

Of her with the crucifix.

Of taking their relationship to the next level.

Of the two of you taking your clothes off,

Of what I asked you to do?

Oh, and get me some coffee.

Oh, aren't you two so great at that together?

Oh, because you're so devastatingly attractive.

Oh, come on, come on. There's got to be something.

Oh, come on. Okay.

Oh, come on. Stalking?

Oh, crap.

Oh, for you, I've got all the time in the world.

Oh, God, great idea, Marin County, Chet.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, good. Okay, get in here right now, Three.

Oh, gosh!

Oh, got it.

Oh, hey, Madison.

Oh, hey. So, how was your first night?

Oh, honey.

Oh, I don't care that it didn't mean anything then.

Oh, I hope she takes that stupid bear,

Oh, I know. All that hillbilly lesbo stuff

Oh, I saw that you and Lizzie got back together, right?

Oh, I... I know what you can do, believe me.

Oh, I'm hanging out with my homeys in the grip truck.

Oh, just make something up.

Oh, Mary.

Oh, my ass is just on the line with my boss.

Oh, my God, it hurts, actually, to be this fabulous.

Oh, my God, Quinn, I'm so sorry.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Who do you think you are?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Jeremy deserves a lot better than this.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Listen to me.

Oh, my God. Sunrise sucks.

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my Gosh!

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my gosh! Come on.

Oh, my gosh! Hi, guys!

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my pleasure, my pleasure.

Oh, no, no, no. I think it, uh, looks good on TV.

Oh, no, no. It's like a disguise.

Oh, no, that wasn't her.

Oh, okay.

Oh, okay. I get it. So you're just a spoiled brat.

Oh, perfect. Very Darryl Hannah 40 years ago.

Oh, Rachel! Great.

Oh, really? Where does she think it should be discussed?

Oh, really. You don't say.

Oh, right, get those tits bouncing.

Oh, screw this!

Oh, she was in, uh, uh, she was in a psych ward twice.

Oh, thank you so much. I know, okay?

Oh, thank you. Yeah.

Oh, that you disappeared without saying a word?

Oh, that... that's me. Uh...

Oh, that's nice.

Oh, that's some toddler level reverse psychology.

Oh, uh, I was just gonna sort of chat,

Oh, um, we... we're actually

Oh, um... to start over,

Oh, whatever.

Oh, wow, Faith. That is that's such an honor.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Okay, got it. Rachel?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. He's a great guy.

Oh, you think? Well, I would say that she's our baby bird.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! Baby daddy.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! There it is.

Oh! What have you done?

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. [Laughs] That's perfectly all right.

Oh. I'll be right back.

Oh. Okay.

Ohh.

Okay, Adam. Look at him.

Okay, all right, come on, we got to be careful, all right?

Okay, and I respect that.

Okay, and... action.

Okay, but not as a minion.

Okay, but you are going to be spending the night with him,

Okay, but, I mean, Quinn is gonna be really angry

Okay, cameras rolling!

Okay, come on, come on, come on.

Okay, come on, let's go, people.

Okay, come on.

Okay, come on. Brazilian swimsuit model.

Okay, come on. What have we got?

Okay, Dan, let's go. Get a new girl out here.

Okay, don't worry about it, all right?

Okay, everybody, hold the work.

Okay, Faith, no, listen, that's a huge step.

Okay, good. I ride horses.

Okay, here we go, everyone. Last one.

Okay, here we go.

Okay, here we go. I need Camera Eight.

Okay, I didn't... I didn't leave the house.

Okay, I made a verbal agreement with her.

Okay, I'll... I'll just be right here.

Okay, I'm sorry. How old are you?

Okay, it became abundantly clear while we were shooting

Okay, it's just that after she bombed out,

Okay, Jeremy.

Okay, just pick Grace for the overnight,

Okay, just through here.

Okay, let's get Adam on the rig A.S.A.P.

Okay, look, I am so sorry.

Okay, look. You and I can fix up this vineyard.

Okay, nothing but satisfied customers in your wake.

Okay, obviously, we have to work together,

Okay, okay. Uh...

Okay, Rachel, you and I may have screwed some things up...

Okay, show me what you got.

Okay, so I was thinking about a sweet, little mini rodeo

Okay, so why don't you just tell me about your, uh...

Okay, so, what do you need to sell this?

Okay, uh, well, ladies, we are just, um,

Okay, um, can you just sign this paperwork

Okay, we got the tears, we got the tears.

Okay, well, Adam kissed you in Napa.

Okay, well, I have an idea, Faith.

Okay, well, we should get this on camera.

Okay, well, what we need you to do

Okay, you can pick Grace, you can pick Anna.

Okay, you know what, this just turned into

Okay, you know what?

Okay, you know what? I don't... I don't...

Okay, you think I don't know that?

Okay?

Okay? Because let me tell you something...

Okay? I'll take the heat.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Copy that.

Okay. Great.

Okay. Here we go!

Okay. Here we go...

Okay. I can use that. I can use that.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Thanks.

Okay. Thanks.

Okay. That's so clever.

Okay. Yes, thank you.

Okay. You got this. You got this.

Old, desperate one?

On a wonderful fairytale journey with our lovely lad, Adam.

On more than just a... professional level?

On probation?

On the count of one half... present dogs.

On the Everlasting suitor's sex tape.

On the next take, so we're gonna roll again.

On the show, or...?

Once subpoenaed, will reflect charges in Tucson, Arizona,

One date down, two to go.

One grown ass woman to another...

One night if you're not.

One of the ladies will put her whole...

One of whom could be the next Mrs. Adam Cromwell.

One second, all right? Just give me one sec.

One time.

Ooh, a chat. A chat!

Ooh, Adam, this is my best friend, Amy.

Ooh, more like an eight year long monogamous affair

Ooh, sounds fun, but no. We've thrown out the I.P. case.

Open the other one. It's hot as balls in here.

Opening night, Everlasting, all right?

Or are we having a little lawyer playdate?

Or fighting obesity... as long as it's something that you really care about.

Or is, to have a new daddy.

Or pack your bags right now.

Or pick me [chuckles] so you can meet her.

Or some nonsense, all right?

Or something over the camera, but... just wait for it.

Or whatever you see when you look at me.

Or you can work yourself into spinsterhood like Quinn.

Or you get dumped on national television

Or you're not gonna be able to get a job in this town

Or, I'm sorry, was it four hookers?

Other things that we did, the...

Otherwise, I... I wouldn't coming down there.

Otherwise, they can hear everything, FYI.

Ow.

Past...

People need to see what these kids go through.

People trust her, and they like her.

Physically destroy it, and I'm not kidding.

Pick a charity and really get behind a cause.

Pippa? I have to. I have to ask. Pippa?

Please, baby Jesus.

Please, just be better.

Please, let us out.

Please, okay?

Ponies! Princesses!

Possibly the most important.

Possibly with Chet, while you were under his employ.

Pregnant?

Pretty much, unless you want Quinn to talk.

Protect the wifeys, Anna and Grace,

Push in on the MILFY.

Push in, push in, push in, push in, push in.

Quinn is a complicated person.

Quinn promised me that this season

Quinn seems really upset about this.

Quinn wants Madison to charge you

Quinn, can you come down here, please?

Quinn, come on, okay?

Quinn, he's a very nice guy, and he loves me.

Quinn, you shot footage on him without a signed contract?

QUINN: Mary.

Quinn?

Quinn.

Quit? Right.

Rach, our show's like a mirror, okay?

Rach, the only job on this set

Rach, you got to ask me before you do stuff like that.

Rach.

Rachel back, really.

Rachel Goldberg! Rachel Goldberg!

Rachel, are you kidding me?

Rachel, hi. Um, I heard you were having some trouble with Grace.

Rachel, I am tired.

Rachel, look, if Gran can see that one person...

Rachel, no!

Rachel, this is gonna sound stupid, but...

Rachel, uh, I don't know if this is gonna be helpful

Rachel, what about the bathroom?

Rachel, what the hell is happening?

Rachel, you need to stop, seriously,

Rachel! Pool! Now!

Rachel.

Rachel. Um...

Rachel's back.

Rachel's the mystery freelancer?

Ready to roll on Faith's date. And action.

Ready?

Real mensch, as my mother would say.

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really? Come on.

Really? You going back to that well?

Really. It's very sweet.

Reasons I had to come back.

Relax, honey. It's okay.

Rememberin' all the love and support

Remind her that she's the one, okay?

Renovating the vineyard?

Repo Cam. We got a runner, people.

Resembling chemistry off of you, it's only for Grace.

Riding a horse down the beach, shouting,

Right, he's super sweet, crazy hot,

Right?

Right? You probably...

Right.

Right. Yeah, I I'll be fine.

Rita. Rita, will you stay, please?

Romance! Love.

Rose, will you stay, please?

Rose.

Royal hottie drops trou with three...

Run away with me.

Sad, dried up single mother Mary.

Sadly, your fairytale ends tonight.

Safe flight. I love you.

Sam. Sam, you're now the first A.D.

Saw that you and Lizzie got back together.

Saying that I showed up to work on time and sober?

Saying that she owns the silver because she polished it.

Scared the crap out of you.

Screw my friends at Vassar working at PBS.

Screw the rodeo and just get your woof woof

Screw you, okay?

Screw you. I don't know you.

Seriously,

Seriously, you've got, like, a real shot

Shagging the sister of a royal someone.

Shamiqua, will you stay, please?

Shamiqua? That's your girl?

Shamiqua.

She doesn't really want to talk about it.

She has this crazy idea that if I pick her,

She just thinks that sex

She lost it to Adam.

She might be ready, but I'm not.

She wanted you to have it.

She wanted you to know how excited she was,

She went completely loco,

She went to Spelman.

She'd like to present.

She's a lesbo, lezzie, lezzie, lesbo, Les. Come on.

She's bipolar, and she has PTSD from the domestic abuse.

She's bringing it.

She's charming.

She's gonna win this, people.

She's losing her nerve, which, uh, I mean,

She's my fiancée.

She's my fiancée.

She's only here to be the butt of some joke.

She's supposed to be marriage material,

She's the best, don't you think?

She's the hottest one here,

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Shouldn't even be talked about on TV, let alone...

Shouldn't it?

Shouldn't you be inside,

Show the tape. I've been a bad boy on TV before.

Shriveled pussy, all right?

Shut up.

Sit.

So [clears throat]

So [sighs] let's give them some hard core Americana.

So cut the crap.

So do you want to know who the suitor is?

So good for both of us.

So good. [Chuckles]

So I need you to keep your brains together, okay?

So I'm starting my own company,

So just give in to the inevitable,

So just keep doing whatever it is that you're doing.

So just...stay away from me when we're not...

So let me.

So my wife would be expected to do the Princess Di thing...

So quit.

So there might be an opportunity to turn it around.

So this is a setup,

So tonight, I want you floating,

So when you're up on the horse, we see a little bit...

So why don't you grow up, huh?

So you can go whenever you want.

So you guys can move someplace a little bit more accepting.

So you told him about us?

So, a day trip to L.A.?

So, I can just get the unauthorized version of Anna Martin?

So, I'm thinking...

So, I've never actually met, uh, a British person.

So, in the spirit of true courtship,

So, let me know what you want to do.

So, let's sue the bastard.

So, look at you... executive producer actually producing.

So, needless to say, I'm madly in love.

So, now you're alleging

So, screw the lawyers. Produce Chet.

So, send me home so I can be with my sweet girl [chuckles]

So, that is how you prove

So, uh, they said everything is on this, but...

So, uh, you ready?

So, um, I was in an abusive marriage.

So, um, this...

So, um...

So, what are we doing here?

So, what, it's up to you to decide when?

So, yeah.

So...

So... So... So if I asked you to go down on me right now,

So... your grandgrandfather build this farm.

Some extra, you know, bonus money for you and Amy

Some people think it's old fashioned

Someone told me that you like to ride.

Someone who'll really dig their hands into the project.

Someone who's gonna push you to the edge.

Sometimes your kid brain computes it as, like, um...

Sorry, guv'ner, she doesn't fancy your bangers and mash.

Sorry, Quinn, but I kind of feel like everybody knows that.

Sorry, uh, can I steal Rachel for a second?

Sorry.

Sorry. [Chuckles]

Sorry. I've been running around out there with those...

Sorry. Yeah, I'm... Jeremy, I'm sorry that I, um...

Sound speed! Camera speed!

Sound speed. Camera speed.

Sounds like so much fun.

Stage is yours.

Start with the whole, uh, horseback riding thing.

Stop filming, please.

Stop rolling. We're finished.

Straight up?

Stupid bitch.

Such a nice shirt.

Sure, yeah.

Sure, yeah.

Sure.

Surprise.

Take a real shower, sleep in an actual bed.

Take care.

Take her down, okay?

Take responsibility for what he did.

Take your time.

Talk.

Tell me something I don't yell at my staff a thousand times a day.

Tell me what happened. Just tell me what happened.

Tell the world you're worth

Tell them to go in. Madison, move!

Than a five year deal with me?

Than somebody who knows how to get what they want.

Thank you for being here.

Thank you for taking care of her.

Thank you so much for coming.

Thank you so much for inviting me into your home.

Thank you, Britney.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks for showing up.

Thanks so much.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks. One sec. What's up, sweetie?

That Anna's really something, huh?

That are just waiting to love you

That ball of crap fell out of your mouth?

That changes lives.

That Chet forced me, but he didn't really,

That doesn't leave a lot of room for finding yourself,

That doesn't make people feel like needy,

That felt pretty real to me.

That God cherishes all his children.

That I had to get through tonight,

That is a mess.

That lady's a piece of work.

That might actually change people's lives?

That might not actually be Pippa.

That my clients understand what a suit like this really entails.

That outing her would ruin her life, so...

That people get from being bitter,

That really didn't go well. Was I supposed to like it?

That she's a virgin yet, so...

That sounds like another year of pretending.

That stuff can't really be taught.

That was just, like, his version of trying to help you.

That was not a line, I swear.

That was official, like I know what I'm doing.

That we wouldn't air it unless she was ready.

That week, as well.

That will... well, have you talked to Amy yet?

That woman is here, okay?

That woman's crazy.

That would have been so boo yah!

That you disappeared without saying a word?

That you've given me all my life.

That your client is my client's mistress?

That your little stunt

That'll fully flip Quinn out, something big?

That's a Boston terrier, dude.

That's a cut! That's a cut!

That's all I want for you, Anna.

That's all right. We asked for it. Here we go.

That's disgusting.

That's exactly what I want.

That's funny, 'cause right now,

That's gonna do the trick.

That's good because I want this vineyard to be

That's good, good, 'cause you got a lot of work to do, you know?

That's great! So d... So I... So I...

That's great.

That's incredible.

That's my kind of woman.

That's not a bush, that's a freakin' shrub!

That's not exactly helping me sleep at night.

That's right.

That's so cute, having your girlfriend at work!

That's super incredible.

That's the kind of woman I am.

That's the one who you said had wife potential?

That's the problem.

That's true.

That's unbelievable.

That's us.

That's what happened.

That's what I'm talking about.

That's worse than yours is Quinn's.

That's your problem, right there.

That's... That's really sweet. That is.

The crazier the better.

The experiences that we've had, have brought us so close.

The first time that we're getting anything

The Mary scene has gone as dry as her old,

The most enticing vacation spot since God invented

The most important, most precious thing

The new post supervisor is crazy OCD.

The night that we all got tramp stamped.

The only thing that I can gather

The other one.

The perfect, like, most magical time

The quicker you learn that, the longer you'll survive.

The real Mary.

The rigs go all the way down.

The show was your idea.

The stakes are high after Adam and Grace's sizzling date.

The thing is Adam... We can't find him.

The things that we've shared,

The whole time? Come on, Rach.

The whole town pitched it. [Chuckles]

The, uh, diamond bracelets,

Then I leak the tape.

Then nail them to the cross and burn it down.

There always are with you.

There is actually one more thing

There is just a whole world of people

There is no backup malaria doctor,

There is, uh...

There we go. There we go.

There you go.

There you go.

There's a backup guy?

There's a black man in the White House.

There's a... There's a lot to pray on.

There's nothing like the feeling

There's nothing to do, Rach. You got to call someone at home.

There's something I I got to tell y'all,

There's... there's reasons

These lashes are...

These other girls, um...

They all do.

They are throwing my case out.

They didn't air this.

They don't really run in the same universe.

They gonna arrest us? They gonna call the tabloids?

They wouldn't really kill her.

They'd have to.

They'd probably strangle her and leave her in a ditch.

They're all looking at me like, huh?

Things that happened in your upbringing?

This decision has been very difficult.

This is a surprise.

This is a TV show, okay? This isn't real.

This is definitely out of my comfort zone.

This is evidence?

This is good. This is good.

This is just about who has my heart.

This is just about who has my heart.

This is Mr. Bobo.

This is my home. This is where I live.

This is not how I...

This is not your fault.

This is ridiculous.

This is what Chet does, all right?

This is what made me fall in love with the property.

This is why I never promote anyone

This is, uh, Quinn King.

This isn't real. We're living in a fairytale.

This job is Satan's asshole!

This job...

This newly leaked tape shows Adam Cromwell

This one's gonna be good.

This place turned out really amazing.

This week, each one of our final three contestants

This whole time, shooting me?

Those are two very different things.

Those are... Those are my boobs.

Through that ugly ass jumpsuit.

Throw away the cue cards.

Tick, tock, tick, tock, let's go.

Time out.

To ask a girl's family for her hand in marriage.

To community service, and then therapy.

To do anything that doesn't feel right.

To drop the charges.

To either Anna or Grace.

To have me come here and tell people...

To keep making good decisions for yourself.

To let your relationship evolve, you know, in a physical way.

To lie to a 4 year old, so...

To lose it to the big guy.

To me, it just seems like Amy's opinion really matters to you.

To meet her family in hopes

To my friend.

To one person, actually.

To point you in the right direction.

To spend a romantic night alone with.

To sweet, little, old, faithful Jeremy,

To take up a collection to pay for them.

To Wagerstein?

To Wagerstein.

To your refined sensibilities that you needed to flee?

To, like, French him and grab his ass.

To, um, put myself out there and broaden my horizons.

TOGETHER: Right!

Tonight.

Tonight. We can take a plane.

Too close! Yeah, but what?

Trust me, the pleasure's all mine.

Truth is...

Try not to fight with your boyfriend the whole time, okay?

Two guys in a locker room.

Two or five margaritas always help me sparkle.

Ugh, not this.

Ugh!

Ugh.

Ugh.

Ugh. Mary's a freaking robot with that creepy smile.

Ugh. Oh, God. Why did you remind me?

Uh oh.

Uh, Adam, I got to tell you something.

Uh, before we begin, I'd like to make sure

Uh, bring in the backup guy!

Uh, can we, uh, can we fly in Mary's bear, please?

Uh, great, great.

Uh, hey Quinn. Can I talk about the video invites?

Uh, hey, hey.

Uh, hey. Yes. Hi.

Uh, I took it off, okay? I took it off.

Uh, I will be with you in a sec. I just, uh...

Uh, it was just... Rachel.

Uh, Limo Three just arrived.

Uh, listen, stay on walkie,

Uh, no, she's fine.

Uh, no, Shia, I don't drink.

Uh, oh. Uh, Faith. Hi.

Uh, one, you're fine, and, two,

Uh, Quinn says to tell you that,

Uh, Rachel.

Uh, she was emancipated at 16, and...

Uh, Shia, I need you all over

Uh, sorry about all that kissy kissy stuff earlier.

Uh, that might change that.

Uh, that's our, uh, horse faced tearjerker.

Uh, to your question, no, I never follow the rules,

Uh, we got a situation.

Uh, we have a backup guy.

Uh, we lost him.

Uh, we talked about this. She gets it.

Uh, would you calm down, Grace?

Uh, would you push me inside, young man?

Uh, yeah, I'll hold.

Uh, yeah.

Uh, your dress looks lovely.

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh... hey, Grace? Hey.

Uh... um... and Adam,

Uh... yes? I guess we are.

Um, are you attracted to someone else?

Um, are you okay covering all the vineyard prep on your own?

Um, did he...did he say something to you?

Um, her husband was physically abusive...

Um, I mean... I think I was just really flattered

Um, I noticed that you haven't been drinking.

Um, listen, you cut my villain,

Um, maybe you'd like to answer that?

Um, maybe.

Um, producers want you to act a little bit more charming

Um, so, I have a question for you.

Um, uh, Rachel? Rachel?

Um, well, I was in jail.

Um, why don't we take a little walk, okay?

Um, you can't do that.

Um, you can't just walk in here

Um, you guys do whatever you need to do, okay?

Um, you'd better be breaking the damn sound barrier,

Um...

Um... hadn't really thought about it.

Um... you talk to the girls

Umbrella! Umbrella!

Unbelievable.

Under the age of 26, okay?

Under the watchful eye of God only.

Unlike some people,

Until she is mean like a pit bull.

Until we're bored, and then we'll figure it out.

Until you let me go home, Rachel.

Until you rehab your image.

Use it.

Useless bags of flesh.

Violet, will you say, please?

Violet.

W We were just hanging out, and I gave him... you know.

Wait for it. And...

Wait, wait.

Wait, wait. Rach! Rachel! Wait!

Wait, what?

Wait.

Wait.

Wake him up.

Want to take it to my bedroom?

Was gonna be different, though.

Was this your plan,

Watching bad TV and eating ice cream.

We actually stopped the story because there was a much better story here,

We all have to pee!

We are holding on that.

We both know that this franchise is a dinosaur.

We can lie on the beach, neck deep in Bellinis,

We can make TV that really matters,

We can pick up fixtures and tiles and that kind of crap.

We can renovate the vineyard, and then she and Amy...

We can use that in a promo.

We can use that.

We go to St. Tropez.

We good?

We have cellphone records and credit card bills,

We have grounds for a restraining order,

We have kind of a situation.

We have seven and a half hours before sunrise,

We have to do that while we're here.

We have to pee.

We just gave him a linebacker in a jumpsuit,

We just have to find her and let her shine.

We just went to Canyon Ranch six weeks ago for four nights.

We just... we wanted to talk to you about the footage.

We love you, Faith!

We were really drunk, and it did take my mind off things,

We weren't supposed to get stuck in Mexico, okay?

We'll be really fast, I promise.

We'll call it "Royal Love."

We're at my family's castle in the Highlands.

We're down to our final two women,

We're gonna try this crane now, please.

We're screwed, aren't we?

We're talking about people we can still save.

We've had unholy thoughts...

We've worked together for four years.

Welcome back to "Everlasting."

Welcome back to reality, Rachel.

Welcome back, little weirdo.

Welcome to "Everlasting."

Well [chuckles] we are not your clients yet.

Well, Adam... um, up until this morning,

Well, can we find out

Well, Chet and I were just talking...

Well, do you think I could just spend 10 minutes up here

Well, Faith is your baby bird to protect now.

Well, hey, y'all. How is Mississippi?

Well, I convinced her to get them.

Well, I want you to tell me the truth.

Well, I'm just gonna chain myself to the bulldozer, then, okay?

Well, I'm not quitting, and the show's great.

Well, I've seen him across the patio twice,

Well, isn't that ironic?

Well, it could also do some good.

Well, it doesn't have anything to do with your friend Amy?

Well, it's not. We've got another year of this.

Well, just h have another look, 'cause th this is...

Well, no, actually.

Well, screw your contract, and screw you.

Well, she signed up for it.

Well, she's not the only one.

Well, that's a little like the maid

Well, that's good... because here they come.

Well, that's kind of the premise of the show, right?

Well, then get her to. Come on, Goldy.

Well, um, some may find this unexpected, but, um...

Well, um...

Well, unless you were to find your original look book.

Well, what about you? How are you doing?

Well, what do you want to know?

Well, what we need you to do is talk about being a virgin.

Well, you invited me to a party, so I figured, I'd...

Well, you're about to go on your first overnight trip with Jeremy.

Well, you're his fiancée.

Well, you're not that sane.

Well... it's just... Quinn wants me to say...

Were you on acid? No, my dad just died,

What Adam needs is a real partner in this,

What all of this because of Mexico?

What are they gonna do?

What are we doing?

What are we gonna do? What can we do?

What are we gonna tell Quinn? We don't have a story.

What are you asking me?

What are you gonna do?

What are you implying?

What are you talking about?

What backup guy? We don't have a back...

What did I tell you?

What did you do?

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

What happened to "sluts get cut"?

What happened to you?

What happened while you were gone?

What happened?

What if we backdoor a spin off for next season?

What if you just said it out loud one time?

What if you just...

What is Shia doing?

What it means is that you are gonna come and work for me

What makes you think I won't just pick up the phone,

What more do you want?

What part of we are rolling did you not understand?

What the hell am I doing here?

What the hell are we doing here?

What the hell are you thinking, coming back here?

What was I supposed to do?

What was I supposed to do?

What would I have told him?

What, I have no leverage?

What, wait... What did you want?

What, you don't see us living here next year,

What, you think Britney would last in the rodeo?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? [Chuckles]

What? No, I'm not moving.

What? Oh, you?

What? Quinn!

What? The D.U.I., or grand theft auto?

What? What did he do?

What? What, you guys really need to be on Steadicam

What?!

What's going on?

What's going on?

What's it gonna take for you to sign the contract,

Whatever. Three episodes tops.

Whatever. Uh, where's Ricardo?!

When he broke my daughter, Lily Belle's, arm,

When they have a problem and stuff, right?

Where are you going? 'Cause we, uh, got the horses

Where are you gonna be in a year?

Where, to your house?

Where'd you disappear to?

Where's my royalty?

Where's the ring?

Whew! It's, um...

Whew! Thank you.

Which I know you're dying to do, and move on.

Which is a very, very normal part

Which one of these two lucky ladies

Which was our way of inviting you

Which, if Chet gives the word, I'm prepared to file today.

Which... wait a second... I had it delivered.

While I figure out what to do when I get fired?

While we, uh, set up the very real hidden room?

Who are you?

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Who else has he kissed?

Who found a cure for malaria or something.

Who gave Chet a walkie?!

Who is the best partner for him

Who told you that?

Who want me and desire me for who I am,

Who you couldn't close.

Who'd have thunk? Hope he doesn't break her.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're working way too hard.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoever you choose, you choose from your heart, okay?

Why are you here?

Why didn't you call me, Rach?

Why do you think he asked you on this date?

Why don't you guys take a break

Why don't you just tell me what happened here tonight?

Why I wanted to get into TV in the first place.

Why is everybody telling me what my problem is today?

Why should I believe you?

Why the hell would he say that?

Why you would like him to meet your family.

Why?

Why?

Why? Why? Why?

Why'd you come back?

Will be spending the night with you?

Will you dancewith me?

Will you get over yourself? Honestly.

Will you spend the evening with me?

With a dead daddy that can't keep her dinner down.

With all the mood stabilizers she's on.

With an entire Entenmann's cake and a fork.

With each and every one of you.

With my shirt off,

With promises made that remain unfulfilled.

With Quinn? No kidding.

With sexual harassment and assault.

With someone who I haven't got to know very well

With you and me, you know we have something real.

Without a villain.

Without telling anyone back home.

WOMAN: Hollywood Tonight's exclusive scoop

Women don't usually talk to me like that.

Would you?

Wow, Faith.

Wow, gorgeous. Like these moves?

Wow, okay.

Wow, yeah, I'm honored, but, um...

Wow, yeah.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow. All right.

Wow. It's gonna be a fun weekend.

Wow. Looks like you enjoy spas.

Wow. This is it?

Write your novel?

Y Yeah, they're not Shia's. They're yours, okay?

Yeah, and I'm doing community service.

Yeah, but for, like, the first 20 minutes, you know.

Yeah, but I promised Faith

Yeah, but she gets the best ones?

Yeah, but she hasn't even admitted

Yeah, but she is so shy about that stuff,

Yeah, but we're not talking about me.

Yeah, Chet, 'cause that's how it works... your super sperm

Yeah, Chet, I know that the footage is really good.

Yeah, eight weeks if you're lucky.

Yeah, go ahead.

Yeah, he... We're just, like, talking about, like,

Yeah, he'll, uh, be in makeup in about 10 minutes.

Yeah, I can't really control the weather, either, if you know what I mean.

Yeah, I could barely move.

Yeah, I did.

Yeah, I guess.

Yeah, I just... I didn't...

Yeah, I mean, you know,

Yeah, I mean...

Yeah, I need you to do something for me.

Yeah, I told him to cut Faith,

Yeah, I was just, uh, finishing up some work.

Yeah, I... I'm just, uh, confirming my appointment

Yeah, in Hollywood.

Yeah, it was my idea.

Yeah, Jeremy, I'm sorry that I, um...

Yeah, listen, you don't need any fixing.

Yeah, or, I mean, clean water, or...

Yeah, pretty much.

Yeah, see, that's the thing with you, Adam.

Yeah, she does show some signs of, uh, PTSD, it's true.

Yeah, some, uh, Doctors Without Borders guy

Yeah, that was, uh, that was lucky, yeah.

Yeah, that's how it goes.

Yeah, that's weird.

Yeah, uh, I just have something...in my eye.

Yeah, well, um, it's... It's a lot of my face

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I guess.

Yeah, yeah. I told him we needed a water cooler moment next week

Yeah, you do.

Yeah, you don't say.

Yeah, you too.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah! This is what I'm talking about!

Yeah?

Yeah? Okay.

Yeah? You look great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Be afraid, okay?

Yeah. Excuse me.

Yeah. I can't wait.

Yeah. I just love demolition and busting up walls.

Yeah. I know, they haven't let us out at all.

Yeah. I mean, she's been trying to leave the salon forever, so...

Yeah. I mean, you know, he's a really good guy.

Yeah. I... Jeremy... I...

Yeah. Let's go.

Yeah. Look at that.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. She's praying on it, too.

Yeah. Um...

Yeah. Um...

Yeah. Yeah, I did.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean,

Yeah. You have no idea.

Yeah. You know, I have to say,

Yep, your boyfriend's ex.

Yep. Chet Wilton, creator of Everlasting, big kahuna.

Yep. Okay.

Yes, but the hotel folio shows two guests and a male facial.

Yes, I did. I need your head in the game.

Yes, I have.

Yes, I will.

Yes, I will.

Yes, of course, of course.

Yes, of course.

Yes, that is a good bitch!

Yes, this has got to wake him up.

Yes, well, I it... it's very important.

Yes, white boy! You get that brown sugar.

Yes, you asshole.

Yes!

Yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Penny... Penny was there

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

You airballed my virgin. You owe me this.

You always make it work.

You are a hateful, conniving bitch. You know that?

You are a wonderful person,

You are all exceptional.

You are all remarkable women.

You are right.

You are the only woman here who deserves that ring,

You can come up and proceed to our safe zone

You can keep telling yourself that,

You can pull the one off the crane.

You can't use it.

You can't use the footage.

You cannot bang her on the first night, okay?

You certainly are. Come on.

You clearly need somebody with a strong hand

You could get any girl that you want on the side.

You could get...

You could have shot whatever the hell you wanted.

You could make a perfectly happy person jump off a bridge.

You could, um... you could just get the show

You deserve everything. You know that, right?

You did great. Thanks.

You did something with Chet?

You do not want to find yourself

You do not want to piss me off on your first day back, okay?

You do this all yourself?

You don't believe that you deserve better, but you do.

You don't have the right to make an agreement like that.

You don't need a matchmaker.

You don't want to do that to sweet,

You don't want to see me with no phone for eight weeks.

You get cash bonuses for nudity, 911 calls, catfights, all right?

You get him to marry the Mexican bikini model,

You get one shot. Get your ducks in a row.

You get your hands off of me.

You got this.

You got to get out there, and you got to make sure everything's up to snuff.

You got to get them to intercept it

You guys, get her when she's coming in, okay?

You handled what, Quinn?

You happy?

You have a minute?

You have no idea.

You have taken everything from me.

You have to follow your dreams.

You haven't seen theirs? She's seen mine.

You having a good time?

You just do whatever you want to do, okay?

You just got to give me some time, okay?

You kept that?

You know how Chet gets really pushy sometimes?

You know something? I just don't want to be a woman whose whole life is this.

You know something? I'm just trying to take your mike off, okay?

You know something? It doesn't have to be either/or.

You know something? That's gonna be super tough.

You know what they do to...

You know what?

You know what?

You know what? Go ahead. Show it.

You know what? I can't. I can't even get into this anymore.

You know what? Just go. Do it.

You know why?

You know, about work and stuff...

You know, adrenaline makes some people loco.

You know, exploring all the different options,

You know, he would...

You know, I could actually go, as well.

You know, I'm trying to get you to relax a little bit.

You know, if you really wanted me well rested,

You know, it looked kind of intense.

You know, our flight was delayed.

You know, Perez stopped doing that recently.

You know, Quinn, I also really want to thank you.

You know, Quinn, I just...

You know, see if God strikes you down.

You know, that you might be in love with Amy?

You know, the threat of jail time,

You know, they all sign up for it, so...

You know, we can go back to L.A.,

You know, when bad things go down,

You know, who knew horse face was gonna be a crowd favorite?

You know? I'm sorry.

You may want to be Chet,

You might enjoy even more.

You need damage control.

You need someone who you can run with,

You need to be looking for your next big thing.

You or you guys...

You pay me $700 an hour to make sure you don't think with your dick.

You probably like, like, dogs, and puppies,

You ready to go?

You ready to shoot?

You said you wanted to make a baby. Come on.

You saw... I'm real handy with this stuff.

You seem more like one of our self destructive,

You should see it, 'cause it's epic.

You should talk. Shouldn't you be off somewhere with the man of your dreams?

You shower with your phone in a Ziploc bag.

You signed a contract that gives us the right to exercise your options.

You starting to wig out?

You think that's good for your kid to see?

You told me to.

You want lessons in intellectual property,

You want to walk me through why you did the opposite

You were just confused,

You were not made for the ordinary life.

You wouldn't be able to relate to that, would you?

You, follow me, now.

You, in your office, now.

You, too.

You. My God, you... Claire.

You'll get it. You'll figure it out.

You'll return the bracelets and, of course, say your goodbyes.

You're a waiter.

You're day labor. You got it?

You're dumping me?!

You're either quitting or it's bad news about the show.

You're gonna give me a wedding.

You're hot as hell, like stunning.

You're in God's country now.

You're like me.

You're my only friend.

You're not gonna be too busy trying to get your entire head up Chet's asshole?

You're not gonna get fired.

You're not hot enough to be crazy,

You're not in menopause, Mary.

You're now fired.

You're ready to get out there.

You're something else, Rachel.

You're taking me with you.

You're the best producer in the industry.

You're the most attractive person here.

You're the most attractive person here.

You're the one that I want. These other girls are paper dolls.

You're the only person on the planet that thinks that.

You're very lucky

You're very lucky that your little stunt

You're welcome.

You're welcome.

You're... you're still with me.

You've got it. You look beautiful.

You've got kids flying in tomorrow.

Your friends are very cool, very cool.

Your frontal lobe hasn't even finished growing yet.

Your heart? Please.

Your novel, and African AIDS babies... saving them. And...

Your physical relationship with Adam so far?

Your reputation recovery plan goes up in smoke,

Your undying love to Jeremy, huh?

10 minutes... in silence, though.

10 times!

32 minutes till sunrise.

40% ownership of Everlasting in perpetuity.

[Door opens] Oh, hey.

[Sighs] Quinn, what's wrong?

a and w we know he's going to love it. Oh, oh, there, there, there.

A MILF? Yeah.

a much bigger story. Oh, yeah? What?

Adam, are you ready? Yes.

Ah, I got it. Yeah.

All good. Anything else?

All right, come on. Uh...

All right, gentlemen. Oh, no.

All right, gents. All right. Oh, my God.

An assistant crack whore. Uh, Chet, Chet.

and I'm not changing my mind. Okay.

and let me know when you find him. Okay.

And she also... And that is why we cast her...

and so he picked her. Aww.

And the accent, yeah. Oh.

Anna, will you stay, please? Yes.

Are you crazy? I...

Are you okay? How you doing?

Are you okay? Y Yeah.

at the end of the night, uh, ladies... Okay. Great. All right.

bathing in white wine by the end of it. Hold it. Wait. Did you...

Because I'm suing him. What are you suing him for?

But you do? No, not about Grace.

Can I see that? Yeah.

Can you take those? Sure.

Cheers. No problem.

Chet, I... No, no, no. It's not a conversation.

Chet, uh, could you come here, please? Yeah.

Chet, you just can't... All those fake sex noises.

Chet's here. Oh, great.

Come on. What are you...

Come on. Yeah, sure.

Come on. Let's go, big boy. W Wha... I'm... I'm just...

Consider me signed. All right.

Cut! Cut!

did something good for the human race. I mean, right?

Did you hear from her? No.

Did you just quote Dr. Wagerstein to me? Oh, my God.

Don't do this. Let her go.

Every minute we're not shooting... Can you calm down.

Excited, then? Absolutely.

Finally! Thank you! A smile. Nice to meet you.

Go find him. Who? Adam?

God, he's a populist genius, isn't he? Uh, you know what?

Good. I'm ready.

Grace. That's all I wanted, was a smile, Adam.

Great. Cheers. No. No, thank you.

Gunner, Jamie, come here! What?

H Hey, Rach, can we use the bathroom? Ladies.

He's got real... Oh, well...

Heads up. Hi.

Hello, there. Hi.

Hello?! Okay.

Hello. Hello, handsome.

Her first? Take it as a compliment.

Here we go. [Sighs]

Here you go. Mike check!

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey. Oh.

Hey, hey. How you feeling? Feeling good. I'm feeling really good.

Hey, I'm sorry. Hacked apart by the Tijuana Terminator.

Hey, uh... Hey.

Hey. Hey, babe.

Hey. Hey, there.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Quinn!

Hey. So, she's a little skittish.

Hey. Good morning, sir. Good morning.

Hey. Hi. Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Hi! Hi.

Hi. [Door closes]

Hi. Hey.

Hi. Hey.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. I'm Britney.

Hi. Shia, from the phone.

Hi. Thank you. There you go.

Hm? What are you doing?

Hmm. I'm leaving him.

Hold the roll. Hold the roll... So, I just, uh...

How are you? Ah!

How did it feel? It felt good!

How's it going? It's good.

Huh? How old is he?

Huh? Sure? Okay? Mnh mnh... Can we... Whoa, no.

I broke up with Lizzie. You what?

I called, Rach. Yeah.

I called, Rach. Yeah.

I can't quit it. Who gives a shit?

I did not tell you... Yes, you...

I did. Hey, Jer.

I do believe you're right. I had no idea there was a secret room here.

I got it. Thank you. You look really pretty.

I have to go, because... Yeah, I know.

I just wanted you to know that... Heads up.

I just... What?

I mean, before. Oh, it's... it's nothing.

I need you to get your crap and get out. Okay.

I really got in there, but I think. Oh, Mary.

I signed a contract for that new show. Ow.

I think so. I... Okay.

I told you! You called it.

I told you! You called it.

I wasn't gonna say anything. Yeah, but you're talking.

I... Let go!

I'll see you there. See ya, babe.

I'll talk to you later. All right.

I'm a Sunday School teacher. I know. I know.

I'm good. Good.

I'm not gonna let that happen to you. I am serious.

I've had to since the airport. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

in my life, you know? Yeah.

Is she? Well until you propose they're all the one.

Is that true?! No, no!

is there? Try me.

It felt really good? It felt really good, really good.

It is so nice to meet you. Oh, okay.

It looked fantastic. Thank you.

It was nothing. Oh, really?

Jamie! Let's go, buddy! Wait, have you seen this?

Jim Leblanc! Here.

Just out of curiosity... Quiet.

Keep it on her. Stand down! Stand down!

Leave. FLINT: Chet, you sure?

Listen, Amy, did she tell you... Yeah. She told me.

Listen, I, um... No, look.

make a good impression, and... Right.

Make a nice tasting room. You know what?

make my appointments. Yeah, okay, fine.

Me? Mm hmm.

Me? Yeah, you!

Mm hmm. Faith.

Mm hmm. Oh!

Mm. She's scared.

More charming? Yeah.

Mr. Bobo. Yes.

No, no. Okay.

No, Shia. Oh!

No. No way.

Not at all? No. No, no, no.

Not cool. Come with me.

Now you're gonna disappear? Listen, I told you to do it

Oh, come on. I can't do it.

Oh, hell. Are you at of your mind?

Oh, hey, Rachel. Oh!

Oh, look. Oh, yes.

Oh, my God, Chet. And she flipped out.

Oh, my Gosh. What is she doing?

Oh, really? Yeah.

Oh, that's amazing. Um...

Oh, wow! Damn! Damn!

Oh, yeah! Yay, welcome back, Rachel.

Oh, yes. Yeah.

Oh, you think? Okay, yeah. But...

Oh! Oh. And these are for you.

Oh. Like magic.

Oh. Um, I... Okay, Rachel, I... No, just cut out.

Oh... Oh, my gosh!

Ohh. Hi, Gran.

Okay, got it. Ugh!

Okay, so eight weeks. Wow.

Okay, well, you know what? Oh!

Okay. Hey, baby.

Okay. Oh, God.

Okay. That's all I'm thinking.

Okay. We'll just take a seat here.

Okay. Yes, sashay, shantay.

Okay. There we go. I think I got it. Cut! Cut! Cut!

On your call, madam. Okay. And...action.

or something? Come on, be nice.

Pick Anna. It's actually not a bad idea.

Please, just get back in the car, please. I am being nice.

Please. Maybe.

Pleasure. Oh, please.

Quinn, come on. Oh, you know I'll do it.

Rach, I got to ask you. Yeah.

Rach, Rach, I can't. Why?

Rach? Hmm?

Rachel, don't do this! What are you doing?

Rachel, it's my turn. Can you... just one second.

Rachel, you know I can't. No, listen.

Rachel! Yes?

Rachel... Oh, my God. This was a huge mistake.

Really? Mm hmm.

Really? Why not?

Really? Yep.

Right? FAITH: You guys.

Right? Yeah.

Right. That's ridiculous.

Right. you don't have much time,

Right. Okay. Okay?

See? Chet, hey.

Seriously? Yeah.

Shamiqua? Yeah.

She's black. She's gorgeous.

She's not even black. That's racist.

She's that kind of girl, huh? That's what she's bringing.

Should we, uh, reset the wall? I think we got it.

so you got to get right to the point. Okay. Which point?

So? Oh...

So... Quinn, that didn't mean anything.

some champagne. Cheers.

Spit it out. Let's go. I think it's great that you got

Super classy. But at the end of these dates,

Take "Royal Love." Cut a deal for the show,

Thank you. Hi.

Thank you. Oh, there you go...

Thank you. What is Rachel doing?

Thanks. Uh...

that I need to take. Oh. Wow.

That is absolutely... Adam Cromwell?

That is an entrance. Oh!

That sounds perfect. Yeah, it can be,

That was great, honestly. Really?

That... That's unbelievable.

That's great. Oh, my God. He's so yummy.

That's just ridiculous. How is that ridiculous?

the "happily ever after." Okay.

the Fijis, okay? Sounds good to me.

The girls are about to arrive. Are you feeling nervous?

The trailer... It's fiancée.

the way you're busting my balls like this. Don't do that, okay?

There you go. You've got it, girl. 'Cause I'm the sexy one, right?

there's someone here that I love... Just go up there.

those video invitations today. Yeah.

To love, to future, to Everlasting. Cheers.

True. Yeah.

Ugh, go, go, go. Quick. Come on. Y... I... Look.

Ugh. I guess I'm just confused.

Ugh. Yeah.

Uh huh. It felt really good.

Uh oh. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Uh, Adam. Yeah.

Uh, here. Oh, no, thank you.

Uh, hi. You okay?

Uh, Limo Three? I can't even...

Uh, S Sam, second A.D. This is Sam.

Uh, same walkie channel. She's making... Okay.

Uh, uh, I'm worried about you, hon. Why?

Uh, we stopped rolling. Right.

Um, I... Madison, what is it?

Umbrella! Hey, umbrella!

Up my alley, really? Yeah.

Very impressed. Hmm.

We talked about this. Chet just made me a show owner.

Welcome to Mississippi. Thank you.

What do you think it was? I don't know. Maybe a root cellar.

What do you want? My own show.

What happened... she freaked out. What did you say to her?

What is she doing? I don't know.

What? I just...

What? Nothing. Never mind.

What? What?

What?! Adam Cromwell?!

What's in it for me? Wheeling and dealing?

What's that? Oh.

Where have you been? What did you do?

Where is Rachel? Uh, Mississippi, remember?

Where the hell are you? You know, I got to...

Where's Limo Three? Haven't seen it.

Where's Limo Three? I don't know.

Who's on channel three? Okay.

Whoa. Hello. You noticed.

Will you marry me? Yes, yes.

with some kid. Hey, relax, Quinn.

Yeah, ew. Yeah, I know that.

Yeah, I know. Okay. I'm just saying.

Yeah, okay. Come on.

Yeah, okay. That's it.

Yeah, right? Yeah, horses.

Yeah! Aaah!

Yeah? Mm hmm.

Yeah? We're good.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah? You remember meeting Penny, right?

Yeah? Hi! Okay.

Yeah. [Laughs] Come on.

Yeah. Ha!

Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Ugh.

Yeah. Oh.

Yeah. Ugh.

Yeah. Uh, yes?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You're the one who convinced me to do this.

Yeah. I know. This is ending. Right?

Yeah. I know. I know. I like them a lot.

Yes, of course. Yeah. Um...

Yes! Oh, God.

Yes. Mm hmm.

You did? Yep.

You gave all my best girls to Rachel. Rachel gets the best sound bites,

You got to wear the ring, baby. Shh. Shh.

You guys... Oh, my...

You know, I'm seri... Okay, travel. No travel.

You look great. Thank you.

You still might. You said I had it guaranteed!

You sure? Yeah.

You want? I'm good.

You... You all right? Yeah.

You're a virgin. Just that, uh...

You're gonna let this one handle it? Yes.

You're my little queen. I know.

You've seen the show, right? Barely.

Your costing our production We're almost there.

...

'Cause I got to go to L.A.

'Cause I know how things start with you.

'Cause it's the only time you ever said I love you.

'cause Jeremy and I... We're leaving the show.

'Cause they're women.

'Cause you also have a massive legal problem.

'Cause you clearly have one. Or many.

'Cause, um, I have to catch a bus

'cause, um, I'm in love with Adam,

"Everlasting" was my idea. I won that lawsuit.

"Maybe," yeah. Go, then.

"Unbutton your shirt," he said, like I'm a piece of meat.

"We all got tramp stamped"?

[Birds chirping]

[Both laugh]

[Both laugh]

[Both laugh]

[Breathes deeply]

[Breathes deeply]

[Breathing heavily]

[Cellphone dialing]

[Cellphone vibrates]

[Chatter and laughing]

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause]

[Chuckles]

[Chuckles]

[Chuckles] It shows.

[Chuckles] Makes us horny.

[Chuckles] Oh, my gosh.

[Chuckles] Oh.

[Chuckles] Yeah, Faith.

[Clears throat]

[Clears throat] Hey.

[Click, buzzing stops]

[Crickets chirping]

[Crowd awws]

[Crowd gasps]

[Device buzzing]

[Device buzzing]

[Dog barking in distance]

[Door closes]

[Door closes]

[Door closes]

[Faith sighs]

[Flint sighs]

[Gasping]

[Gasps]

[Horse neighs]

[Indistinct arguing]

[Indistinct conversations]

[Inhales sharply]

[Knock on door]

[Knock on door]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs] Hey. Hi.

[Laughs] Oh, gosh.

[Laughs] Oh, hey, you.

[Laughs] Oh, this should be fun.

[Moaning]

[Phone ringing]

[Radio chatter]

[Ringing]

[Scoffs lightly]

[Scoffs] Nah. I'm a born multi tasker.

[Sighing]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs] Can I think about it?

[Sighs] Ha ha.

[Sighs] You can't use this footage.

[Voice breaking] I can't do that, Rachel.

♪ 'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight, on for tonight ♪

♪ 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink

♪ 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink

♪ 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink [Gasps]

♪ Ah ah, ah ah, ah ah

♪ And all showers that shower you ♪

♪ Be your Min Pin and borrower of handsome trivia ♪

♪ Do do do, do, do do do do

♪ Gonna paw, paw at you

♪ Got to get out now, got to run from this ♪

♪ Here comes the shame, here comes the shame ♪

♪ Hey

♪ I want to be every lever you pull ♪

♪ If you really think that you can stomach me ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ Like at cat paws at my woolen jumper ♪

♪ Oh, devour me

♪ Oh, I'm just holding on for tonight ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ On for tonight, on for tonight ♪

♪ Pull me like an animal out of a hole ♪

♪ The sun is up, I'm a mess

♪ You're the first and last of your kind ♪

♪♪

♪♪