Step Brothers (2008) Edit

A little girl on girl. A little heaven, a little hell.

A one, a two, a one, two, three, four.

Actually' Brennan is a really talented person.

Actually' I have the opposite of a problem:

Actually' We'll be interviewing as a team.

Again' you're doing great, man. The Catalina Wine Mixer.

Alice was moving a chair from the living room into the dining room. . .

Alice! Ηoney, come on!

Alice.

Alice. ..

All I can do is take that in, consider it.. .

All right, here's a scenario for you, Dad.

All right, just Look, yoυ knoW what ? Ηey' guys.

All right, let's really nail it this time. Ηere we go.

All right, that's it! That's it!

All right, Tommy, you're the oldest. I'm coυnting on you. Come on.

All right, we don't play that.. .

All right.

All right.

All right. Brennan, it's okay. it's okay.

All right. Let me go for a few bars. Come in soff' bυt then finish strong.

All right. Yes' that's a sometimes usefυl exercise.

Always wanted to. I hear it's amazing.

Amazing. We are so proυd of you both.

And all they think aboυt is that stυpid boat.

And although she was 88 years old, she never stopped believing.

And at one point he said, Let's get it on.

And even though I just got a tidal wave of nerves. ..

And guess what else. This jυst came to me.

And he heard aboυt the fart.

And he heard aboυt the fart.

And I can sing high

And I can sing high like this

And I got an invitation from Brennan.

And I have to admit, for a little while , I sort of joined in as well.

And I jυst did the best thing, which is get right on the muscles. . .

And I knoW that sometimes it's hard to Keeping the Faith.

And I mean that. ..

And I said, Okay, Pop.

And I wanna drive a Range Rover.

And I will take any position, as long as it doesn't involve. . .

And I would like say that this is the image I have:

And I would like to raise my glass.

And noW here we all are in Catalina.

And she takes one look at me' and she goes:

And then one day, my dad said:

And then we'll drop the hammer.

And this hoυse sucks ass.

And this is not an acoυstic environment that's sυitable.. .

And this is the one rule of the house:

And we hit the beat laboratory right now. Let's go.

And we'll pυt up with the retard in the meantime.

And we're gonna call it Prestige Worldwide.

And you get to play with fire.

And you mess with my nut' Brennan' Randy here is gonna eat yoυr dick.

And you're embarrassing yourself, yoυ geriatric fuck!

And' Ηυman Resoυrces lady, when I think

Anyway, so I figυre by the sυmmer of 201 0, We can probably set sail.

Anyway. . . .

Are you ready for some world cIass vocaIization?

Are yoυ messing with me right now?

Are yoυ oυt of your mind?

Are yoυ saying pow? What are you saying?

As soon as she is of age , I'm putting her in a home.

As soon as yoυr eyes shυt, I'm gonna pυnch you sqυare in the face.

Aside from that retard trying to pυnch me, it was a pretty good evening.

Aside from the damage to the boat, which we will fix.. .

Aunt Carol's on fire!

Be patient. Νo, no. Νo, no.

Becaυse gυess what.

Becaυse I'm gonna put my nut sack on your drum set. Okay?

Becaυse they got a excellent corporate strυctυre...

Becaυse they haven't even gotten jobs yet.

Boats and ho's

Boats and ho's

Boats and ho's Boats and ho's

Bobby' you're 1 7 . it's time to throw childish things aside.

Bon voyage! Ηave a great time!

Brennan has a mangina Brennan has a mangina

Brennan has a mangina.

Brennan has a mangina.

Brennan told me he Was going to hυrl his body off a helicopter. ..

Brennan! Brennan!

Brennan?

Brennan.

Brennan' I can't even make eye contact with you right now.

Brennan' I think that What you did to Robert's boat was horrid.

Brennan' I thought yoυ were incredibly brave.

Brennan' that is the voice of an angel.

Brennan' that was sυblime.

Brennan' you're 39 years old.

Brennan' you're the best big brother ever!

Brennan' your brother's coming today' so get up.

But after that courageoυs act. ..

But Brennan sure can wear the shit oυt of that pirate hat.

But Derek got his football buddies to repIace the choir and sing:

But he didn't really say that, he said' Stop being a dinosaur and get a job.

But he just always says' lt's all about who you know.

But he's like' Νo, becaυse yoυ drove my car last week, so I can't get it.

But I can't imagine how you feel. . .

But I forgot how to do it.

But I think about it every day of my life.

But it just kills me to see you so crushed and normal.

But it's Christmas Eve.

But my other son, Brennan, was going to be moving into his own place...

But next year I'm gonna ask Santa for breast implants. . .

But one time I wrestled a giraffe to the groυnd With my bare hands.

But that's 45 minυtes.

But the most exciting new development. . .

But they coυld do real harm to themselves or others.

But you have to call me Dragon.

But you wouldn't know the difference.

But' you know' I do think that you coυld shoW. . .

But' you know' I thought to myself, l'll go to medical school. . .

By me.

Bye, kids. I'll check out that stock yoυ recommended, Tommy.

Call me.

Can I ask you something?

Can you believe Brennan put all this together?

Can you give me a job' please?

Can you imagine if we had these when we were 1 2?

Can you wash clothes in the dishwasher?

Can't you just trυst that I'm a really, really good singer?

Carefυl with that. Yoυ're crinkling.

Check these out. See these? See these boys?

Check. Check.

Cinnamon!

Cinnamon! Stop it!

Close your eyes. Let the dirt jυst shoWer over you.

Come back here!

Come on, man. Play something from The Stranger!

Come on, yoυ did.

Come on.

Come on. I love talking to you.

Coming up next, a recent study by the American Council. . . .

Coming, honey! I'm just talking to Dale.

Dad. Nancy. it's bad.

Dad' I can't believe yoυ put the boat in the tree!

Dad' I need to borrow some clothes for the interview. . .

Dad' I'm doing this because I love you: fυck you.

Dad' that was so thoughtful!

Dad' We're men' okay?

Dad' Why are yoυ talking to me like this? I'm your son.

Dale and I Wanna welcome you to our home With open arms.

Dale broke up Mom and Dad Dale broke up Mom and Dad

Dale broke up Mom and Dad Dale broke up Mom and Dad

Dale has a mangina Dale has a mangina

Dale jυst ate. Ηe's testing you to see how mυch he can get away with.

Dale sleepWalks too.

Dale, I don't knoW how mυch yoυ know about therapy. ..

Dale, I don't knoW if you

Dale, I hate my life! I have nobody to talk to.

Dale, I think it's time for a change for both of υs.

Dale, I'm leaving for the conference .

Dale, the empanadas are starting to sweat.

Dale, yoυ're not licking dog shit, okay? They're kids.

Dale!

Damn it, Dale, sit down.

Dane Cook, pay per view, 20 minutes. Let's go!

Deadliest Catch without the crabs

Derek fired me.

Derek went on to win the contest by lip synching lce lce Baby.

Derek, yoυ are an outstanding yoυng man, son.

Did you touch my drυm set?

Do I carry my high school diploma around?

Do not order pay per vieW, bυddy.

Do yoυ wanna go do karate in the garage?

Do yoυ wanna see something cool that only three people have seen?

Does butt buddy have a name?

Does yoυr son know anything aboυt carpentry?

Don't even think aboυt it' jυst name it. Ready? One, two, three.

Don't even try.

Don't ever, ever, ever. . .

Don't interrupt when he's telling a story.

Don't speak to my son like that.

Don't wanna appear too eager' and that is a good strategy too.

Don't wanna miss a spot.

Don't worry aboυt him.

Don't you do that. I am Warning yoυ right now:

Dr. Angel Face, I just wanted to say thank yoυ. . .

Dr. Doback, the phone's for you. I think it's υrgent.

Driving around, he has this brand new Testarossa' right?

Easy decision. Yoυ gυys have a outstanding track record.

Either way, the deers lose, my friends.

Even better: we are gonna start an international entertainment company.

Even better. We got them When we're 40.

Every day I lather this υp with Kiehl's in the shower.

Every single house here recycles.

Every time I come I produce a quart

Everybody knew me and was afraid of me.

Everyone, if I could have yoυr attention' please.

Favorite non pornographic magazine to masturbate to.

Finally, the audience and even some of the nastier parents started singing:

Fine. I don't care.

First of all' I needed someone to work

First of all' I needed someone to work

First thing tomorrow' we gotta get cracking on this investor presentation.

Flat. it's so flat.

For me.

For those of yoυ who don't know me. . .

Frank Gifford used to live down the block.

Friends Who ride majestic' translucent steeds...

From across the room, I feel like we have a thing.

From that day on, Brennan never sang again.

From what you've told me. . .

Fuck yoυ, Brennan. I know you touched my drum set.

Fuck yoυ, Dale! Fuck yoυ!

Gang' don't be mad at Dale for rυining the story. And possibly the evening.

Get below deck With a dick in your hand

Get off me! Off! Get back. Get back! Back!

Get off the stage' you dick!

Get off.

Get out of my office!

Get them!

Get up!

Get up' Brennan' I know you're faking. Get up!

Get your shit. We're going to my room.

Give him a proper burial in an unmarked grave.. . .

Give Ken Doll Crotch here two weeks, tops.

Go ahead.

Go home.

God, change the record.

God, yoυ're gonna make me cry.

God. We were so close.

Good luck, and remember, I need yoυ oυt of this hoυse by tomorrow.

Good riddance. Eat all the damn flowers' anyway.

Got hair similar to mine , yoυ wear tuxedos to the interview.

Gotta haνe me my boats and ho's

Gotta haνe me my boats and ho's

Gotta haνe me my. . . .

Great to see yoυ.

Great.

Guys, I have a little Christmas surprise for Dale and Brennan.

Guys, this is sυpposed to be jicama' not bok choy.

Guys.

I also get headaches from compυters, so I can't be around them too long.

I am Nancy Ηuff. I know how to make tandoori chicken...

I am no good before 1 1 a.m.

I am so glad.

I am the VP of the biggest. . .

I am.

I bumped into him and all I had was this sword. . .

I can shred on the drums and I'm a marketing wiz.

I can taste it.

I can't believe l've been living here for tWo Weeks. . .

I can't believe we actually have to move out of this hoυse .

I can't believe you hit Derek.

I can't believe yoυ're being so stingy.

I can't even Yoυ don't even look good while yoυ're singing.

I coυldn't eat another bite of turkey without thinking of you inside of me.

I didn't sing too loυd' becaυse I don't wanna wake υp Robert and Νancy.

I didn't touch your damn drυm set!

I didn't touch your drυm set, okay?

I didn't Want salmon! I said it four times.

I do. But you're also married.

I don't believe in belts.

I don't believe in talking about people's personal lives behind their back.

I don't care how old they are. They're still oυr children.

I don't give a fuck.

I don't knoW what it is. . .

I don't knoW where he got this sense of entitlement.

I don't knoW where you learned it.

I don't swear to shit!

I end υp getting 1 25 G's. Okay? Yoυ know what I spent that money on?

I feel like a lightning bolt hit the tip of my penis.

I feel like I'm walking on a cloud.

I felt like I was hovering above my own body. . .

I get it.

I got a bellyfυl of white dog crap in me. . .

I got a really bad feeling aboυt this.

I got this Mikimoto pearl necklace.

I gotcha.

I gotta go too.

I gotta go. I gotta go.

I gotta have me my boats and ho's

I guess this is What it feels like to be grown up.

I had my eye on one.

I hate my life, Dale.

I hate you too.

I have a boat, and I wanna retire and sail aroυnd the World.

I have a green belt.

I have a weakness for sweets.

I have no idea. And frankly' I really don't care. So.. . .

I have to get some more gravy.

I have to interrupt you. Robert' While the children are in the living room. . .

I have tWo children' I have a hυsband, a beautiful home .

I hear yoυ, believe me.

I hope it's what I think it is.

I hope you are, because sometimes life can be toυgh.

I hope you stay still when you sleep. ..

I just found a chain of islands that we can sail to after ΝeW Zealand.

I just found a chain of islands that we can sail to after ΝeW Zealand.

I just want you to knoW I hate you. So does my dad.

I know it seems hard' bυt it's the best thing for both of you.

I know that We started out as foe.

I know that you are technically married now.. .

I know What it entails, and I'm ready to nail it.

I know you touched my drumstick, because the left one has a chip in it.

I know you used to work at PetSmart.

I know. Did yoυ see the expression on his face?

I know. I feel bad.

I know. I know. it's too mυch.

I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.

I love you.

I made my arms short and I roamed the backyard. . .

I made over 550 K last year. Ηow mυch did you make?

I mean, he left college his jυnior year. . .

I mean, I hated you.

I mean, I was driving around with a bυddy of mine' Topher.

I need someone to go up and down with me in the elevator.

I pay enough taxes to sυpport all these lazy goddamn liberals.

I promised Mom l'd offer you a job.

I remember when I had my first beer.

I see a microphone, and I see a singer.

I see an empty stage.

I see drums, I see a drummer.

I smoked pot with Johnny Ηopkins.

I swear to God. I swear to God! Νo!

I teabagged your fυcking drum set!

I tell you now, I'll nail it. I'll pull it off, okay?

I think Brennan organized this whole thing to get us back together.

I think it's gonna go generic soon, okay?

I think they're starting to like each other.

I think We're done here. Thank yoυ.

I think We've had enoυgh

I told her it'd count as her Christmas present' so. . ..

I told you that they woυld feel completely to blame.

I told you! I told yoυ!

I traveled 500 miles to give you my seed.

I wanna hear that dirty mouth admit it.

I wanna roll you into a little ball and shove yoυ up my vagina.

I wanna Walk aroυnd with yoυ in there and just know that. . .

I want it' okay? I want the Catalina Wine Mixer.

I want you out of my fucking house.

I want you to know that tonight. . .

I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus rex more than anything.

I warned yoυ.

I was thinking we shoυld have a investor presentation. ..

I wasn't fired from my job' I was laid off!

I will arrange interviews for Monday, and yoυ will go!

I will kiss yoυ right on the moυth' Kenny Rogers.

I wish We could retire right now.

I witnessed with my eyes yoυr testicles toυching my drυm set.

I won't go into an office that's ever been υsed before .

I work at a college as a janitor. . .

I would folloW yoυ into the mists of Avalon, if that's what you mean.

I would like to say a feW things.

I would not expect you to call him Dad.

I would think you'd be focυsed on that and not building bυnk beds.

I would've done the exact same thing.

I υsed ninja focus to slow my heart rate doWn.

I'll do you in the bottom While you're drinking sangria

I'm a bit of a spark plυg.

I'm alive.

I'm Brennan.

I'm Dale.

I'm Derek

I'm fυcking miserable. I had to get up at 1 0:00 this morning.

I'm getting a really good feeling about this.

I'm gonna be moving in with my friend Jack Ηandle. . .

I'm gonna be the hero' and yoυ can sυck on it.

I'm gonna file for υnemployment.. .

I'm gonna go down to the Cheesecake Factory, have a drink.

I'm gonna take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap. ..

I'm his mom, for example' l've only heard him sing tWice.

I'm just saying give it some thought, okay? That's it. That's all I'm saying.

I'm just saying' I think yoυ gotta think about yoυr options.

I'm just thinking aboυt oυr life together.

I'm kidding. Kidding. Bυt not at all.

I'm late for school.

I'm leaving. Okay? I'll be home around 1 1 .

I'm looking to hire guys I don't mind hanging oυt with for 1 2 hours a day.

I'm not buying that crap anymore.

I'm not gonna call him Dad.

I'm not making myself clear.

I'm not the one staring at me.

I'm pre diabetic!

I'm ready to take on the Catalina Wine Mixer.

I'm ready, walking tall.

I'm Robert's other son, the biological one.

I'm saying I didn't do it. I didn't do it, I never did it.

I'm so scared right noW. I'm gonna do what's sensible:

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm just I'm so lost. And this never happens to me.

I'm sorry. Robert We thought that. . .

I'm very alone right noW, and the thing I wanna ask you to help me

I've had the old bull, now I want the yoυng calf.

If yoυ were a chick, who's the one guy yoυ'd sleep with?

Investors? Possibly you.

It's all slippery.

It's getting tingly. Something's gonna happen, Alice!

It's the Catalina fucking Wine Mixer, okay?

It's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.

Jesus, Brennan.

Jesus, my heart is beating so fast right now.

Jules? Wait' what's Wrong?

Just add some heat to it.

Just avoid everything.

Just becaυse I'm cool. lt doesn't matter.

Just nonsense. I'm gonna Wake them υp.

Just one last spoonful.

Just one song' so I know what your voice soυnds like.

Just relax. I didn't realize he would say these things.

Just reVealed her coVer. I was like , Wow, this is hot.

Just shυt up.

Kiss me.

Know what I'm say ? What's υp with you' man?

L'd do it for foυr fifths commish. ..

L'd say yoυ trying to bury me alive pretty mυch did it.

L'll kill you!

L'll kill you! You son of a bitch!

L've been called the songbird of my generation. . .

L've been earning and bυrning' snapping necks and cashing checks.

L've got a luscious V of hair. . .

L've grown very fond of that place.

L've seen him do it.

L've seen too many dead bodies.

Let me ask you this, Bob, why wait tWo years?

Let's get them!

Let's go, Cinnamon. Ηeel, Cinnamon.

Let's just say the meds aren't helping.

Let's play a game, all right?

Let's slowly get those hips up. Good. Now, hold it right here. Great.

Lf that curly headed fuck Dale wasn't here. . .

Lf there's any foods that you like. . .

Lf we're gonna start a huge multinational corporation...

Lf you wanna get down On these hairy balls

Lf yoυ can't sing, just sit down. That's our motto.

Lf yoυ don't come over here and lick that white dog shit.. .

Lf yoυ even go in the room' I will go ape shit, yoυ hear me?

Lf yoυ toυch my drums, I Will stab you in the neck with a knife!

Lf yoυ'll excυse me.. .

Lf yoυ'll excυse my space cadet Wife here .

Lf yoυ're referring to me as bυtt bυddy' yes, I do have a name.

Like Kobayashi.

Listen to me. Dale, look, when I was a kid. . .

Listen to me' don't listen to me. ..

Listen' what are yoυ really good at?

Ln fact, I'll sing right now.

Ln no Way, shape or form do I feel any feelings of intimacy towards you. . .

Ln the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!

Ln your vagina?

Lndustrial strength night vision goggles.

Long story short, we sue the state of Michigan.

Look at her. She's hot.

Look at that! That looks like what you'd bυy from a store!

Look in yoυr right hand.

Look, I know this seems really' really sudden. . .

Look, I'm not great at this Ηallmark stuff.. .

Look, Mr. Gardocki, jυst leave me alone, will yoυ?

Looks like yoυr free ride's over' huh?

Ls it true you struck Derek in the face and he fell from the tree house?

Ls my dad mad about the stuff that happened?

Ls my dad mad about the stuff that happened?

Ls that onion? Onion and Onion and ketchup.

Ls that yoυr boyfriend? ls that yoυr butt buddy?

Ls there something you want?

Ls this a bad time?

Lt got loυder.

Lt helps me pretend that they are.

Lt looks amazing!

Lt soυnds a lot like the plot of Good Will Ηunting.

Lt was good.

Lt was in international Waters' so they coυldn't prosecute him.

Lt was insane. I mean, it was almost too much.

Lt was Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering. . .

Lt was my mom's. I took the shoulder pads out.

Lt was the asbestos in here' that's what did it!

Lt was very nice to see you, Robert.

Lt woυld give us so mυch extra space in oυr room to do activities.

Lt's This is the ghost.

Lt's 8:20 in the a.m.

Lt's a crotch party right up in here

Lt's a truly funny observation.

Lt's Brennan Ηuff.

Lt's fantastic.

Lt's gone into a real bad spasm, so I put a yoga move on her.

Lt's gonna be fine.

Lt's gonna be four years' at least' before we can sail anywhere.

Lt's gonna be four years' at least' before we can sail anywhere.

Lt's just a real deep' tight mυscle.

Lt's just like Cold Case Files.

Lt's just like Cold Case Files. it's just like Cold Case Files.

Lt's ketchup and mayonnaise mixed together, so. . . .

Lt's ketchup and mayonnaise.

Lt's like masturbating in a time machine.

Lt's me' Dale.

Lt's more than comfortability.

Lt's my fancy sauce.

Lt's my main man Brennan.

Lt's okay that mine's not movie quality.

Lt's okay. it's probably not good on fish anyway.

Lt's over.

Lt's so bad!

Lt's so bad. There's blood everywhere.

Lt's so good.

Lt's the biggest helicopter leasing event in the Western Hemisphere. . .

Lt's the Catalina Wine Mixer!

Lt's the fυnniest thing. Bye bye .

Lt's the thing that's gonna save this family.

Lt's too mυch.

Lt's totally fine. I have a lot more stories.

Lt's trυe, Dr. Doback.

Lt's trυe, three's company.

Lυmberjack!

Ma, Mr. Doback' okay, Dale and I Were just

Masturbate.

Maybe Dale leff the back door open and raccoons got in.

Maybe you go the long way home.

Me and my dad had a perfect setup' and yoυ wrecked it.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Mom and Dad aren't here.

Mom, Doback. . .

Mom, I honestly thoυght I was gonna be ****d for a second.

Mom! Mom!

More than jυst money' we're gonna get yoυ another kind of sυpport as well.

Most karaoke it's, Open to everyone.

Move it!

Mr. Ηυff, Mr. Jeener is ready for your interview.

Mr. Ηυff, under your references' yoυ listed Dale Doback. . .

Music.

My dad's king of the castle, so if he wants fancy sauce, he shoυld

My dad's right.

My God' that's impressive.

My life was perfect before you came here.

My little brother's even a bigger asshole than you are.

My mom is being eaten by a dog, there's nothing I can do!

My name is Robert, and I play racqυetball. I collect coins.

My name's Dale Doback, and I hope yoυ like to kick it.

My penis is tingling right now.

My problem? I don't knoW. I don't have a problem, Dale.

My throat's sore. l've had a sore throat for a month and a half.

Nachos and Lemonheads On my dad's boat

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh' and, Brennan? Denise called. . .

Oh' Brennan! Oh, God!

Oh' come on. We're talking about oυr dream' the boat. Come on.

Oh' Dale.

Oh' don't' don't.

Oh' go get them' Dale!

Oh' God! it's cold!

Oh' God' I'm sorry, I forget Where my story was going.

Oh' God' there they are.

Oh' hey' by the way' guys, where's my bro, Brennan?

Oh' honey.

Oh' I'm exhausted. I'm gonna sleep good tonight.

Oh' it Yoυ know, they'll go back to bed.

Oh' it's a great nabe.

Oh' man.

Oh' my God.

Oh' my God.

Oh' my God' is that Dale Doback?

Oh' my God' this is the greatest party.

Oh' not the Νo, don't All right, that's it!

Oh' okay. Well, I'm all done anyway.

Oh' shit.

Oh' stop it.

Oh' that's the most amazing thing l've ever heard.

Oh' we jυst had sex.

Oh' yeah, yeah. Well' not jυst the Cυbes.. .

Oh' yes! Yes! CallaWay 3 Wood.

Oh' you got a really fresh entryWay here. Pretty awesome.

Oh' you look so cute in yoυr moving clothes.

Okay, cool. Good chatting, yoυ gυys. Bye, Mom.

Okay, guys, this is it. Good luck. Don't be late.

Okay, here's the deal:

Okay, I'll be honest with you. I did fart.

Okay, I'm actually not comfortable answering that.

Okay, I'm gonna save it with this solo.

Okay, just do it. Just do it.

Okay, now the tuxedos seem kind of fυcked υp.

Okay, open yoυr eyes.

Okay, open yoυr eyes.

Okay, sleeping arrangements. it's gonna be different. . .

Okay, well, you better' Brennan.

Okay, who's this from? TJ?

Okay?

Okay? I haven't had a carb since 2004.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. I better run.

On my tongue.

On the count of three, name yoυr favorite dinosaur.

Or I'm gonna shove one of those fake hearing devices so far υp yoυr ass. . .

Other weaknesses?

Other weaknesses?

Pay close attention, Dad. it's gonna look familiar.

People die every day.

People have killed to be in the position I'm in.

Piano Man!

Pilates changed my life .

Please don't cry like that. Please don't, Brennan.

Please don't do that.

Please put your hand doWn.

Please say yes.

Please' just do it for me.

Please' stop calling me Mr. Doback.

Prestige Worldwide.

Prestige Worldwide' wide, wide, wide.

Probably wondering why we gathered yoυ here tonight. . .

Punch me in the fυcking face!

Put all that together, what do you get?

Put your beds back.

Putting in the man hours to study the science of what yoυ need.

Randy Jackson from American Idol.

****! ****! ****!

Really great' Dad. Yeah. We call it Karaoke 'n' Roll.

Right there.

Robert better not get in my face. . .

Robert was very υpset' yes.

Robert, they're like animals! I can't stop them!

Robert!

Robert! They won't They won't

Robert. Don't talk to me like that in front of my son.

Robert' have you ever been down to the Gulf on the bonito run?

Robert' Mom, Derek, this is my girlfriend, Denise .

Robin.

Rock the fuck oυt of those drums, Dale!

Rυmpus time is over.

Rυn away' little boy' because you know it's trυe.

Say hello to my little friend.

Say hi to your dad. We went to high school together.

Secretly' you're not a doυcher.

See that black smυdge right there on the blade?

See? Right there, that's an amazing skill.

See? They're sleepwalking.

See' back to bed.

She's a rascal.

She's a saint!

She's Mom now, so. . . .

Shit.

Shυsh up, Νancy. I have to get some more bread.

Shυt the fuck up!

Shυt your moυth' esé.

Singing. I'm a World class singer.

Snap!

So I guess it's really over.

So I made my quota. Yeah, we sold a shit ton of copters.

So I put my lips around that breathalyzer.. .

So I started going to Chad Michael Murray's Christmas party.

So I thoυght we'd begin talking aboυt yoυr parents' divorce.

So I'm like You're gonna buy it for me or I'm gonna sock you in the moυth.

So impressed.

So just a few basic rules aboυt the house.

So let's do this, you know? Yoυ guys are hired. You're in.

So listen, Bobby, I'll get those keys made tomorroW. . .

So maybe yoυ don't go down that way anymore.

So take yoυr skank hooker wife and get the fυck out of here!

So this isn't even a judgment call, man.

So yoυ know what?

So, Dale, What have yoυ been working on recently?

So, Tommy' What did you get for Christmas?

So, What do we do for jobs? ls yoυr dad really gonna kick υs out?

So, yeah' they're pretty big.

So.. .

So.. .?

Somebody get him off the fucking stage!

Somebody should've done this a long time ago' and I'm gonna do it.

Somebody's awfully qυiet back there.

Someone got some air. Snap.

Sometimes I see an equation written on a blackboard. . .

Sorry. Okay.

Sorry' folks.

Sorry' not gonna happen.

Start the Fire' buddy!

Stay golden' Ponyboy.

Stay golden' Ponyboy.

Sticks and stones may break my bones...

Stop it! Don't hurt him!

Stop it! Stop it!

Stop it' Dale! Stop it! Stop it!

Stop right now. All right? Let's just back off.

Stop screaming. Please. I'm on my way.

Stop yelling at him.

Such power. it's raw power.

Suppose Νancy sees me coming out of the shower. . .

Sweet Jesυs! I love Korean food.

Sweet!

Sword fight!

Take a picture. lt'll last longer.

Thank yoυ for coming.

Thank yoυ, Dale. That's a very nice sweater you're wearing.

Thank yoυ.

Thank yoυ. And I will take that as a feeling that you have. . .

Thanks for hiring oυr catering company.

Thanks, man.

Thanks. Good luck, guys.

That good.

That is offensive. Brennan, Dale.

That makes sense. Gotta keep an eye on it' you know.

That means a few things.

That sometimes when I'm making love to your mother and I realize that. . .

That was about the fighting. I'm so not a ****r.

That was awesome.

That'd be fantastic. That'd be fanta Oh' my God.

That's a collector's item. it's Worth a lot of money.

That's all we do' is Oh' sWeet Jesus.

That's becaυse you fucking toυched my drum set. . .

That's cute.

That's funny, it's ironic. I get that.

That's fυnny that you say that' because I can sing too.

That's fυnny' becaυse my mom said:

That's not enoυgh' Dad!

That's not true, Dale. Don't be ridiculous.

That's so funny' the last time I heard that. . .

That's what it Was like.

That's what it Was like.

That's what we do. And noW that is all wrecked.

That's what we talked about. We'll take the long way home.

That's why oυr parents met' so this idea coυld happen.

That's wonderfυl.

The band left. The gυy freaked oυt.

The biggest and the best.

The bυnk beds were a terrible idea. Why'd yoυ let us do that?

The clown has no penis.

The cops'll be here soon.

The main thing that Robert and I talked about. . .

The movers did everything.

The only trick is is that Brennan's very...

The pictures! Νancy!

The point is don't lose your dinosaυr.

The truth is I just smoked a J oυt in my car a few minutes ago...

The worst thing l've ever heard.

The Νiña, the Pinta The Santa Maria

Then you sit doWn and you Write Dale and Brennan a check for $1 0 '000.

There seems to be some savage fight going on. . .

There should be no ranking system for toυghness.

There. I Was at about six there.

There's one rυle in the house, and yoυ broke it!

They destroyed our dream and yoυ're calling it inventive.

They destroyed our dream and yoυ're calling it inventive.

They don't get that this lifestyle is a choice.

They might do real harm to themselves or others.

They'll be fine.

They're betting against you' bυt yoυ can do it!

They're gonna get jobs' they'll be gone in a month. A month.

They're the world's biggest dickheads, and they're living in your house.

This crowd's gonna eat him alive.

This goes in Robert's wall safe and it's gonna stay there.

This is $1 200 a week for voice lessons, and this is what I get?

This is amazing!

This is crazy. I'm a mother.

This is my house now.

This is my office and my beat laboratory.

This is so scary.