Somm Edit

A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LEVEL OF PERSON NOW WANTING TO BE A SOMM.

A DRIED VIOLET VERSUS A ROTTEN VIOLET

A LOT OF TIMES, THEY'LL LEAVE THEIR SPIT BUCKETS OUT,

A YOUNG NEBBIOLO WILL HAVE THAT VIOLET AND RASPBERRY FLAVOR,

ABOUT AS CLOSE AS THREE PEOPLE COULD BE RIGHT NOW.

ABOUT KNOWING ABOUT BEVERAGE AND WINE,

ACID IS, UH, MEDIUM PLUS.

ACID'S MEDIUM PLUS.

ACID'S MEDIUM.

ACIDITY ON THE WINE IS... [ smacking lips ]... MEDIUM.

ACTUALLY TAUGHT ME THAT. WILLY SHARROT.

ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, YOU GET A SAUVIGNON BLANC

AFTER TALKING TO THEM.

AGAIN, WE'LL CALL THAT MEDIUM.

AGE RANGE IS ONE TO THREE YEARS.

ALCOHOL'S MEDIUM.

ALL RIGHT, BUDDY, WELL, LISTEN, UH,

ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN, YOU'VE GOT TWO WEEKS LEFT.

ALL RIGHT, WINE NUMBER ONE IS A MEDIUM STRAW

ALL RIGHT, YEAH, I NEED ABOUT TWO MINUTES TO GET SET UP HERE.

ALL RIGHT, YOU LAY YOUR BALLS ON THE TABLE.

ALL THAT. ALL THAT.

ALL THE WORK THAT I'VE DONE, WHAT I'VE LEARNED,

ALONG WITH MY GOOD BUDDY IAN CAUBLE.

AN IMPORTANT DESCRIPTOR IN WINE

AN OLD NEBBIOLO IS GONNA HAVE A DRIED VIOLET FLAVOR.

AND A FRESH NEW RUBBER HOSE, I GET.

AND A LITTLE BIT OF SYNTHETIC RUBBER,

AND AFTER A WHILE, IT JUST GETS TO YOU,

AND ALL THE PANDEMONIUM THAT GOES ON AROUND IT,

AND ALL THESE THINGS ARE OPENED UP TO YOUR MIND

AND ALL THIS "I THINK" AND ALL, IS JUST WASTING TIME, ALL RIGHT?

AND AN INTERESTING LANGUAGE, AND...

AND ANSWERING EVERY SINGLE QUESTION RIGHT.

AND CATALOGUE IT IN MY BRAIN,

AND DRAMATIC IMPROVEMENT.

AND FALLING APART RIGHT NOW,

AND FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW, THAT'S A GOOD BET,

AND FOUR M.S.'s LOOKING ACROSS A TABLE FROM YOU,

AND FRED'S LIKE, "MR. BJORNHOLM, POUR ME SOME!"

AND GOING OVER THE FLAVOR PROFILES.

AND HE GOES, "MR. BJORNHOLM, BRING THE 1990 JAMET COTE ROTIE.

AND HE PROBABLY THINKS THAT AS HE'S DRIVING AWAY,

AND HE'S HOLDING A GLASS OF WINE AT A THANKSGIVING DINNER,

AND HE'S LIKE, "MR. BJORNHOLM..."

AND HERE HE IS TODAY WITH HIS MASTER DIPLOMA. CONGRATULATIONS, DUSTIN.

AND HOW IT REFERS TO THE WORLD OF WINE.

AND I APOLOGIZE, I'M CURRENTLY OUT OF THE 1998.

AND I CALLED SIX LEFT BANK THIRD GROWTH BORDEAUX 2000,

AND I CAME HOME ABOUT 12:30 OR 1:00, AND, UH...

AND I CAN JUST MAKE 'EM UP, AND IT STILL SOUNDS GOOD.

AND I CHANGED IT TO BRUNELLO, '95.

AND I COULD HAVE FLIP FLOPPED ALL OF THOSE,

AND I END UP CLEANING 'EM.

AND I GO TO BED IF I CAN, BUT SOMETIMES I'LL BE LIKE,

AND I HAVE TO CLEAN IT OUT,

AND I KEEP THINKING ABOUT, IF I DON'T GET THROUGH, YOU KNOW,

AND I NEED YOUR BEST EFFORT.

AND I SHOULD KNOW THE LAWS ABOUT IT,

AND I SHOULD KNOW WHERE THAT REGION IS

AND I SUSPECT THAT TODAY WILL BE NO DIFFERENT.

AND I THINK THAT'S MY POINT.

AND I THINK YOU EVEN SAID THIS, BUT IT'S LIKE DRIED RED FRUIT.

AND I THINK YOU HAVE THE GREATEST POTENTIAL AND A GREAT FUTURE.

AND I WANT MY LIFE TO START, AND MY MARRIAGE TO BE COOL.

AND I WAS A ROAD PLAYER, RIGHT?

AND I WAS LIKE, "I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' STITCHES,"

AND I WENT, "FRED PLAYS THIS GUY IS A GOD, RIGHT?"

AND I'M A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THAT.

AND I'M KIND OF LUMPED INTO THAT EQUATION,

AND I'M SITTING THERE WITH THIS STYROFOAM CUP

AND I'M SURE THAT AS THE WEEK GOES ON,

AND I'M SURE THAT THESE GUYS WILL PROBABLY FIGURE THAT OUT WHEN THEY PASS AS WELL.

AND I'VE JUST HIT A POINT OF, LIKE, NOT WANTING TO TAKE ANY MORE.

AND I'VE NEVER DONE IT AGAIN.

AND I'VE THOUGHT A LOT ABOUT THAT,

AND IF I JUST CONTINUE THIS GOING AND, I THINK, USE MY GUT,

AND IN TWO SECONDS, I WENT, "THIS GUY IS A MAN,"

AND IT COVERS JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING.

AND IT GOES IN TWO DIRECTIONS, RIGHT?

AND IT SMELLS A LITTLE BIT LIKE A FRESHLY OPENED TENNIS BALL,

AND IT WAS PLANNED THAT WAY

AND IT'S AN AMAZING THING TO SHOW IT TO PEOPLE.

AND IT'S DONE. AND ALSO, SHE TOOK A LOOK AT MY FINGER

AND IT'S FUN.

AND IT'S VERY DIFFICULT.

AND IT'S WORTH IT IN THE END.

AND IT'S, LIKE, ALL I WANT, IS TO PASS THIS, SO BAD.

AND JUST KNOCKIN' 'EM BACK.

AND JUST SIT THERE AND DO THEORY ALL DAY.

AND LET IT SETTLE OVERNIGHT.

AND LET'S GO AHEAD AND DO IT.

AND LOOKING AT YOU IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT.

AND MAKE SURE IT'S GOOD TO GO.

AND MANAGES TO SHOW UP ON GAME DAY AND PERFORM.

AND MOST OF EUROPE,

AND NOT ONLY JUST TO TASTE WINE,

AND NOW, THE WORST PART IS, I DON'T THINK IT'S POSSIBLE WE BOTH PASSED,

AND OBVIOUSLY, IN THEIR WORLD,

AND REALIZE WHERE THOSE DOMINOES ARE GONNA GO. FRED CAN DO A THOUSAND.

AND SHE WAS LIKE, "UH, YOU NEEDED STITCHES."

AND SLEEP LESS TO PREPARE FOR THIS EXAM.

AND SO, WE'RE GOING HALIBUT FISHING

AND SO, YOU SIT DOWN, AND EVERYTHING'S SUPER FORMAL,

AND SOME OTHER PEOPLE, TALKIN' TO THEM.

AND SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO PUT ALL THE JUICE INTO A TANK

AND STAY HOME AND STUDY, YOU KNOW?

AND TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND SAY WHAT YOU THINK THE WINE IS.

AND TALKING ABOUT THE NUANCES OF THE WINE.

AND TELLING ME THAT BRIAN AND DUSTIN PASSED, BUT IAN DIDN'T.

AND THAT PERSON WILL HAVE TO...

AND THAT YOU MUST GO IN AND FIGHT,

AND THAT YOU'RE NOT AFRAID.

AND THAT'S CALLED VITIS VINIFERA.

AND THAT'S HOW I KIND OF, UM, NOW MEMORIZE INFORMATION

AND THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO DO.

AND THE BASE OF THE ROOTS, USUALLY PROTECTING FROM FROST.

AND THE HOURS AND HOURS OF STUDYING

AND THE M.S. IS TALKING TO YOU, AND THEY'RE

AND THE NERVOUSNESS THAT HE'S STARTING TO FEEL NOW,

AND THE ONLY WAY WE CAN EXPLAIN THAT TO THE GUESTS

AND THE REASON WHY IT'D BE BAD IS BECAUSE

AND THE STORY OF THE WINE,

AND THE THOUGHT OF THAT IS JUST SO AMAZING

AND THE WINES WERE CORRECTLY POURED.

AND THEN AGING, AND THEN THE FRUIT IN THE VINEYARD.

AND THEN BASICALLY LOOK AT A NUMBER,

AND THEN GO OVER AND TASTE SIX WINES,

AND THEN I WAS LIKE... JUST GOTTA ROLL WITH IT.

AND THEN JUST APPRECIATE WHAT'S THERE.

AND THEN THERE'S THE TASTING.

AND THEN TRACE IT,

AND THEN, I'LL PROBABLY DO A LOT, LIKE, TEN HOURS TOMORROW.

AND THEN, IN THE DARK AGES,

AND THEN, IT'S EVEN HARDER.

AND THEN, OF COURSE, ME.

AND THEN, THE INFORMATION UNFOLDS IN MY BRAIN,

AND THEN, THEY'RE LIKE, "YOU HAVE 25 MINUTES.

AND THEN, UM, SOME OF THE WOOD INDICATORS,

AND THEN, WE WENT FISHING, AND I BROUGHT UP ALL THIS WINE

AND THERE'S ACTUAL SPIT WINE THAT'S, LIKE, A PINK SHADE,

AND THEY ARE SO BRILLIANT, AND THEN, AT THE SAME TIME,

AND THEY HELP PEOPLE MAKE GOOD BETS.

AND THEY KNOW DARN WELL THAT YOU'RE, YOU KNOW,

AND THEY OFTEN USE OUR DISHWARE

AND THEY'RE JUST LIKE, "THANK GOD."

AND THEY'RE JUST, LIKE, STUDYING TOGETHER.

AND THOSE ARE CHARACTERS IN WINE YOU SMELL.

AND THOSE STORIES WE TELL THE GUESTS BY FLAVOR,

AND TIME AND EMOTIONAL YOU KNOW, HEARTBREAK

AND TO STAY ON TOP OF TASTING.

AND TO THIS DAY,

AND TONIGHT, I AM GOING TO HIT ONE DOSE OF AFRIN

AND TRYING TO, YOU KNOW, MAKE SURE I KNOW MY FLASH CARDS,

AND WE ALL HAVE THESE SMELLS THAT COME UP,

AND WE BOTH GET ENOUGH POINTS TO GET THROUGH.

AND WE CAN'T BRING GLASS ON THE BOAT AND, YOU KNOW,

AND WE CAN'T UNTIL THIS IS OVER.

AND WE SPEND PRETTY MUCH ALL OF OUR WAKING TIME TOGETHER.

AND WE USUALLY KIND OF REMOVE OURSELVES

AND WE WENT TO THIS LITTLE UPSCALE POOLROOM IN ASPEN.

AND WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED, DID.

AND WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW, AND GET THE WINE RIGHT.

AND WHEN I WOKE UP, THE STEROID WILL HAVE KICKED IN

AND WHEN THOSE OTHER TWO GET THROUGH, HE'S HAPPY FOR THEM,

AND WHETHER IT BE HONEY, WHETHER IT BE TAR OR SPICE.

AND YES, YES, IT'S GOT BIG, LONG WORDS,

AND YOU BEAT YOURSELF UP BECAUSE SOMEONE CALLED THIS, OR SOMEONE CALLED THAT.

AND YOU CAN TELL THAT THERE'S KIND OF LIKE

AND YOU DO THAT BY SETTING INCREDIBLY HARD LEVELS

AND YOU DON'T HAVE A SPECIFIC REFERENCE TO WHERE THAT AREA IS,

AND YOU DON'T REALLY STOP AND EXPERIENCE AND BREATHE,

AND YOU FINALLY YOU FINALLY BROUGHT IT TO

AND YOU GET TO KNOW THEM AS PEOPLE AND ALL THAT,

AND YOU HAVE A WHOLE, YOU KNOW,

AND YOU KNOW THE VINTAGE, THE G**** VARIETY, THE COUNTRY,

AND YOU MIGHT BE FAMILIAR WITH THIS.

AND YOU NEED TO BE IN AN ENVIRONMENT

AND YOU NEED TO DESCRIBE THE WINE ACCURATELY.

AND YOU REALLY DON'T EVEN WANT TO TALK TO THEM.

AND YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE,

AND YOU SMELL IT, AND YOU LIVE LIFE THROUGH YOUR SENSES

AND YOU WALK IN THIS ROOM, AND THE FIRST THING

AND YOU'RE ALMOST NOT EVEN IN YOUR OWN BODY BECAUSE IT'S SO SURREAL.

AND YOU'RE SEEING TWO WINES, CAB FRANC AND SYRAH.

AND YOU'RE STANDING IN THE PLATE,

AND YOU'VE GOT SERVICE.

AND, LIKE, A... SERIOUSLY.

AND, LIKE, I SAW A BOTTLE OF OLD RIOJA. I'M LIKE, "OH, NO!"

AND, LIKE, JUST NOT THINKING ABOUT WINE FOR A LITTLE BIT.

AND, LIKE, YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE IT JUST DOESN'T STOP.

AND, MASTER, IT IS AN HONOR, AN HONORTO WORK WITH YOU.

AND, UH, I WENT, "THIS GUY DOES EVERYTHING!"

AND, UH, I'M SORRY TO TELL YOU THAT, UH, WE DIDN'T PICK ANYTHING UP.

AND, UH, THAT THOUGHT IS ALWAYS THERE, YOU KNOW?

AND, UH, THE REDS I PICKED ARE PRETTY STRAIGHTFORWARD

AND, UH, THEY SAY SOMETHING TO THE EFFECT OF,

AND, UH, UNTUCK IT, TASTE THE WINE,

AND, YOU KNOW,

AND... AND IF YOU CREATE THESE GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATIONS,

AND... IF ALL OF US DON'T GET THROUGH,

AND... WHAT SHOULD WE SAY? DAD. HERE'S TO DAD.

AND... WHEN THE OTHER TWO GET THROUGH,

APPEARS TO BE SOME OAK ON THIS WINE,

ARE LIKE, UH,

ARE TO THE POINT WHERE YOU REALLY GET IT.

AROMA'S COMING OUT OF, LIKE, THIS LIME CANDY, LIME ZEST.

AS WELL AS ALL THREE OF THE WHITE WINES,

AS WELL AS MOST OTHER MASTERS WOULD PROBABLY AGREE WITH ME

AS WELL AS SHAVE AND CLEAN UP. DON'T YOU LOVE HIM?

AS YOU TASTE, YOU KNOW? IT'S SUCH A COOL THING.

AS YOU'LL SEE IN THIS PROFESSION.

AT 8:00 IN THE MORNING.

AT COMPETITIONS AND EXAMS. WE LOVE THE GUY.

AT EIGHT AND TEN YEARS OLD,

AT THE END OF THE DAY, I'M OKAY.

AT THIS POINT, I NEED TO

AT THIS POINT, YOU KNOW, BEING SO CLOSE TO THE EXAM,

AUSSIE RIESLING FOR TWO.

AUTOMATICALLY YOU THINK,

BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD. COULDN'T GET 'EM OUT NOW.

BASICALLY FOUR MINUTES, TEN SECONDS PER WINE

BASICALLY, IT'S JUST A COMBINATION OF YEAST,

BECAUSE BECAUSE I'M MAKING YOU WAIT,

BECAUSE AT THAT POINT IN TIME,

BECAUSE HE COULDN'T PLAY AT ALL! HA HA!

BECAUSE HE HAD THOSE INTANGIBLES, YOU KNOW?

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW LYRICS VERY WELL,

BECAUSE I PICKED, UH, AROMATIC WHITES

BECAUSE I THINK THAT NUMBER WINE NUMBER TWO HAS SOME DEFINITIVE OAK INDICATORS

BECAUSE IT ALLOWS ME THE CHANCE TO REBUILD.

BECAUSE IT'S ALL HOOKED UP.

BECAUSE THERE'S, ALL OF A SUDDEN,

BECAUSE WE STILL HAVE EACH OTHER,

BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR PALATE ALIVE.

BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW HARD THEY WORKED.

BECAUSE YOU WERE IMMENSELY CLOSE, UM,

BECAUSE, FIRST OF ALL, IT'S AN INTOXICANT.

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, THE MIND'S WEIRD,

BECOMES A SHELL OF THEMSELVES FOR... MONTHS ON END,

BEFORE HE LEFT FOR THE EXAM,

BEFORE I GO TO BED, I'M GONNA STAY AN EXTRA THREE HOURS UP,

BEFORE YOU CAN STUDY A SPECIFIC REGION OF THE WORLD,

BEING 85% NOSE.

BEING IN THE ROOM WHEN SOMEONE HASN'T PASSED

BELIEVE ME, WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY

BEST NEW SOMMELIER IN AMERICA,

BETWEEN FRANCE AND GERMANY.

BOTTLE HELD HIGH.

BOUTAGE IS, UH, TAKING THE DIRT AND COVERING THE STUMP

BRIAN BRIAN McCLINTIC?!

BRILLIANT, BUT THEY'RE NOT M.S.'s.

BRUISED PEACH. HONEYSUCKLE, CHAMOMILE, LAVENDER,

BRUTAL. ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL.

BURN THE NOTE CARDS, DUDE. WE'RE HAVING A BONFIRE.

BUT ABOVE ALL, ESPECIALLY NOW, AS YOU GET CLOSER,

BUT ALL OF THE ALL OF THE CHEMICAL COMPOUNDS

BUT ALSO TO IDENTIFY WINE WITHOUT KNOWING THE LABEL,

BUT HAS ACID, TOO, AND A LOT OF HERBACIOUSNESS.

BUT HE'S PRETTY MUCH CLAPPING BY HIMSELF

BUT I DID SMELL THE WINES,

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT CAME FROM,

BUT I HAVE TO GO WITH MY GUT HERE.

BUT I REALLY THINK THAT THAT'S A KEY THING,

BUT I THINK YOU WOULD HAVE AGREED,

BUT I THINK, MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE,

BUT I WAS SO SCARED, I DRANK WINE LIKE IT WAS WATER,

BUT I'M A MARRIED MAN, YOU KNOW. I WANT TO BE A HUSBAND.

BUT I'VE FELT THAT BEFORE. I'VE FELT THAT MOMENT

BUT IF ONE OF US PASSES, IT'S STILL ALL GOOD,

BUT IT IS ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS IN MY LIFE

BUT IT'S LIKE THE DEATH ROW WALK.

BUT IT'S, LIKE, THE THIRD TIME I'VE HEARD IT NOW.

BUT OTHER THAN THAT, I REALLY DON'T HAVE MUCH TO

BUT SHE WAS LIKE, "HONESTLY, YOU DON'T NEED THAT.

BUT SOMEHOW, HE PUTS HIMSELF THROUGH HELL,

BUT THAT'S ESSENTIALLY THE BARE BONES

BUT THE WINES ARE THERE TO BE GOTTEN,

BUT THE WORST CASE SCENARIO IS...

BUT THEN IT'S POSSIBLE THAT, NINE DAYS FROM NOW,

BUT THERE ARE SOME REALLY GREAT TRICKS TO IT

BUT THERE'S A REASON WHY I PUT 'EM SIDE BY SIDE.

BUT TO UNDERSTAND WHO THEY ARE.

BUT VERY FEW PEOPLE CAN YOU BET ON IN TASTING.

BUT YOU'VE BEEN TASTING WELL, I HEAR.

BUT, UH, IT, UH, IT DOES. IT DOES.

BUT, YEAH, I NEEDED STITCHES.

BUT, YOU KNOW, EXAM DAY'S EXAM DAY.

BUT... IT'S WHEN I GOT THE PHONE CALL FROM MY SISTER,

BUYING A NEW BOTTLE OF WINE IS ALWAYS A WAGER.

CALL IT A BRUNELLO DI MONTALCINO, 2004...

CAN OF GREEN BEANS, MAN. IT WAS GRUÜNER.

CAN'T WAIT TILL FRIDAY COMES, AND... THEN I CAN JUST...

CAUBLE, IT'S ME.

Cauble: I THINK IT'S AN INTERESTING

CHALKY LIMESTONE MINERALITY.

CHARACTER IS COMING OUT OF G****FRUIT PITH,

CHARDONNAY FROM BURGUNDY.

CHILLING WINE IS A VERY TOUGH THING TO DO,

CINNAMON, NUTMEG, CARDAMOM, BAKING SPICES.

CLARE VALLEY RIESLING, YOU ACTUALLY PUT YOUR NOSE IN THERE,

CLOS VIOGNIER, FROM SONOMA COUNTY,

CO OO OLD.

COAST TO COAST, WHICH IS ESSENTIALLY JUST A ROOM

COLD VINTAGE, HIGH QUALITY PRODUCER.

COLD, COLD, COLD. COLD. COLD.

COME BACK AND REGROUP AND GET READY FOR THE NEXT STAGE.

COME ON AND GRAB A GLASS, BABE.

COMES BACK TENFOLD."

COMING UP TO THIS,

COMPLEXITY, BALANCE, FINISH. THERE WAS THE GRID, RIGHT? THAT'S THE TASTING GRID.

COMPLEXITY'S MEDIUM PLUS.

CONCENTRATION IS MEDIUM.

CONGRATULATIONS, BROTHER.

CONSISTENT DEGREE AND REFLECTIONS IN THE EDGE,

CONVERSION. I WANT YOU TO CONVERT THIS WINE.

COULD YOU PASS ME THAT BOTTLE, OF HERMITAGE?

DADDY'S A YOUNG KID AGAIN!

DAPPER, ITALIAN CUT SUIT,

DECAYING SOIL, DECAYING DRIED RED ROSE PETALS.

DESCRIBE 'EM WELL, DO 'EM IN TIME, YOU KNOW YOUR FORMAT,

DID ALL RIGHT HERE.

DID I? THAT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD.

DID IT SMELL LIKE CHARDONNAY?

DID IT TASTE LIKE CHARDONNAY?

DID YOU? I NEVER CALL CHINON!

DLYNN, YOU'RE GONNA START AT NUMBER THREE, IN THE BACK WITH FRED.

DLYNN'S AN ACTOR, AND HE HAS A BEAUTIFUL FORM, MAN.

DO THE THINGS THAT'LL HELP YOU RELAX.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY BRILLIANT PEOPLE THERE ARE

DOES IT LOOK LIKE BURGUNDY? DOES IT TASTE LIKE BURGUNDY?

DOESN'T APPEAR TO BE ANY NEW OAK ON THE WINE.

DRY WINE. MEDIUM PLUS BODY.

DUDE, I DON'T WANT TO TAKE THIS THING AGAIN.

DUDE, I HAD A FUCKIN' CRAZY I HAD CRAZY DREAMS.

DUDE, THIS IS JUST GONNA GO TO THE NEXT PERSON.

DUDE, WINE THREE WAS SUPER PEACHY, AND IT WAS BITTER AS FUCK.

DUDE, YOU LOOK LIKE MICHAEL DOUGLAS IN FALLING DOWN.

DUE TO THE MEDIUM ACID AND THE HIGH ALCOHOL.

DUSTIN AND I MOVED IN TOGETHER.

DUSTIN HASN'T. HE'S RIGHT AFTER ME.

DUSTIN'S DREAMIN' ABOUT TAKIN' HIS THEORY EXAM

DUSTY'S IN A FUNNY PLACE RIGHT NOW.

EAT RIGHT. SLEEP RIGHT.

EAT, SLEEP, PRAY, WORK, DRINK.

EIGHT, TEN HOURS A DAY EVERY DAY

ESPECIALLY SOME OF THOSE OTHER ONES, YOU KNOW,

ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU CALLED ALSATIAN RIESLING FOR THE FIRST ONE.

EVEN MORE FUN AFTER TWO.

EVEN THE LANGUAGE ALONE KLOSTERNEUBURGER MOSTWAAGE

EVEN TODAY, I GO. I SMELL EVERYTHING.

EVER TO HAVE HAPPENED, YOU KNOW?

EVERY WEEK, HAS TO GO TO THE FARMERS' MARKET.

FANTASTIC. NOT SURE WHERE TO GO WITH THIS.

FINAL CONCLUSION, THIS IS CHARDONNAY, FROM FRANCE.

FINAL CONCLUSION, THIS WINE IS FROM THE UNITED STATES.

FIRST THING THAT'S COMING OUT HERE IS SOME PEACHY APRICOT NOTES.

FIT INTO A HOT PINK VIN VARIATION.

FIVE AND SIX, YOU CALLED ITALIAN BOTH?

FIVE, SIX, SEVEN TIMES.

FIX IT, LEARN IT, DO IT, GO.

FLASH CARDS EVERYWHERE.

FOR A LITTLE WHILE, BUT, UH, HE'S BACK IN CALIFORNIA,

FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD, CRAPPIN' BRICKS.

FOR MY BUSINESS,

FOR OUR ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP.

FOR PEOPLE TO... NOT ONLY TO PREPARE THEMSELVES FOR IT,

FOR THAT QUICK 25 MINUTES.

FOR THE LAST SIX WEEKS, THE BEST I'VE EVER TASTED IN MY LIFE,

FOR THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF YEARS.

FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO RETAIN KNOWLEDGE AND AND DO THIS.

FORMERLY OF THE LITTLE NELL HOTEL IN ASPEN, COLORADO.

FOUR WINES THAT IT CAME DOWN TO TWO THINGS ON,

FRED DAME IS SUPPOSED TO INSTILL THE FEAR OF GOD IN PEOPLE.

FRED DAME IS... HE'S LARGER THAN LIFE.

FRED DAME'S GOT A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY.

FROM A HIGH QUALITY PRODUCER.

FROM A TEMPERATE CLIMATE.

FROM NEW ZEALAND, AND IT DOES SMELL A LITTLE LIKE CAT PEE.

FROM ONE OF THE GREATEST PRODUCERS.

FROM RHONE VALLEY, NORTHERN RHONE.

FROM SOME PROFESSIONAL SITE AND LAY IT OVER THE TOP,

FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD.

FRUIT, EARTH, WOOD. NON FRUIT, NON EARTH, NON WOOD.

FUCK! I CALLED CHINON.

GENTLEMEN, I BELIEVE THIS MAY DO IT FOR YOU.

GERMANY SEEMS TO BE HARD FOR PEOPLE,

GET RID OF IT. NOW, NUMBER FIVE.

GET SOME CHAMOMILE ON IT WANT TO CONFIRM THE SALINITY.

GET THE WINE RIGHT.

GO WATCH A MOVIE, GO HAVE A MASSAGE.

GOING BACK TO THEM AFTERWARDS, YOU KNOW,

GOING THROUGH MY FLASH CARDS, AT A STOP LIGHT.

GOING THROUGH THE WHOLE PROCESS, THERE WERE A NUMBER OF TIMES

GOOD. THE NAME OF THE BACTERIA...?

GREAT JOB. I MEAN, YOU'RE IN THE ZONE, RIGHT?

HANDS DOWN, THE MOST DIFFICULT THING I'VE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE.

HAVE A GOOD DAY AT WORK. CALL YOU WHEN I GET THERE.

HAVE A RELAXED NIGHT, AND HAVE A COUPLE OF DRINKS.

HAVE THE TIMER OUT, AND BE DOING LIKE VERY FORMAL TASTINGS,

HAVING TO FACE HIS FRIENDS, HIS GIRLFRIEND.

HAY, PISTACHIO, TEA.

HE CAN BE REALLY SCARY.

HE IS HE IS SUCH A PERSONALITY.

HE JUST WANTS TO GET AWAY FROM CAUBLE,

HE PROBABLY DREADED COMING HOME,

HE REALLY, REALLY WANTED TO GET THROUGH.

HE SAID, "LET'S GO PLAY SOME POOL. I'M REALLY GOOD AT IT."

HE STARTED IN WINE PRETTY MUCH RIGHT WHEN WE MET,

HE STILL, TO SOME DEGREE, INTIMIDATES ME.

HE WAS ENGAGING, HE WAS PERSONABLE, HE'S SMART.

HE WAS NEVER GONNA MAKE IT AS A PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE,

HE WENT FROM REALLY KNOWING NOTHING ABOUT WINE,

HE, UH, HE SLEEPS IN VERY LATE.

HE'S A LOT MORE FUN AFTER A GLASS OF WINE.

HE'S A, YOU KNOW, LIKE A MAN'S MAN, ATHLETIC.

HE'S ALL BY HIMSELF.

HE'S HANGING OUT WITH BIG GUYS

HE'S MORE OF A NIGHT GUY,

HE'S NOT DOING HIMSELF ANY FAVORS RIGHT NOW.

HE'S ON A STRANGE SLEEPING SCHEDULE.

HE'S THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN BE THAT WAY AND STILL PULL IT OUT.

HE'S THINKING ABOUT LINING UP A FLIGHT OF WINES

HERE'S TO DAD.

HEY! GRAB YOUR LUNCH SACK, DUSTIN WILSON!

HIGH ENERGY. I MEAN...

HIGH GEAR! HIGH GEAR!

HIGH INTENSITY AROMAS.

HIGH INTENSITY OF AROMAS.

HOLD THE DIPLOMA UP, BRO.

HOW ABOUT THE RULES FOR MOELLEUX?

HOW ARE YOU GONNA KNOW WHAT'S IN THE WINE?

HOW COULD SOMEONE POSSIBLY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT IT?

HOW DO I PUT THIS? WE, UH... IAN, DUSTIN, AND I

HOW IT'S STORED, WHY CERTAIN YEARS WERE GOOD,

HOW MANY HOURS DO YOU PLAN TO STUDY BETWEEN NOW AND TOMORROW?

HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE ACTUALLY SMELLED

HOW NERVOUS ARE MY WINES?

HOW OFTEN DO YOU SMELL SOMETHING?

HOW OFTEN DO YOU STOP AND LOOK AT SOMETHING?

HOW TO SERVE IT,

HOWEVER, I... THAT IS... THAT BEING SAID,

I ALWAYS HAVE A SMILE ON MY FACE. GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO.

I BASICALLY WAS A BASEBALL PLAYER

I BET 100 BUCKS I LIKE THIS BOTTLE OF WINE.

I BET MY 50 BUCKS, MY TEN BUCKS, MY 100 BUCKS

I BORROWED A SUIT FOR THE MASTER'S EXAM.

I CALLED BRUNELL BAROLO, BRUNELLO.

I CALLED FIVE BAROLO RISERVA FROM 2000,

I CALLED ITALIAN, ITALIAN.

I CAN SEE A MAP AND SEE THE REGION,

I CAN UNDERSTAND IT, BUT YOU DISH IT OUT A LOT, BROTHER.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS SO SURREAL.

I CAN'T EXPRESS MYSELF ANY MORE CLEARLY.

I CAN'T GO BACK NOW JUST 'CAUSE

I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW HAPPY I AM RIGHT NOW.

I CAN'T.

I CONSIDER MUSCADET NEUTRAL.

I COULD HAVE HIT ALL OF 'EM.

I COULD NEVER IMAGINE KEEPING A FRIEND IF I...

I COULDN'T SLEEP TILL 5:00.

I CRIED WHEN MY CHILDREN WERE BORN.

I CRIED WHEN MY PARENTS DIED.

I DIDN'T PICK UP ON THE PYRAZINE.

I DIDN'T POUR THE WINE, SO...

I DO HAVE THE 1997 LITTORAI, 1997 VIN GRIS.

I DO THE MASTERS EVERY THREE YEARS BECAUSE I HAVE TO.

I DON'T FEEL LIKE WE'VE WASTED ANY TIME SINCE WE'VE MOVED HERE.

I DON'T GIVE A SQUAT WHAT COMES TO YOUR MIND.

I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT WORKS,

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I CAN COMPARE IT TO,

I DON'T KNOW. JUST 'CAUSE YOU HAD THAT SMILE ON YOUR FACE.

I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER USE IT, 'CAUSE I THINK IT'S RIDICULOUS.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO, UH, THINK THAT YOU HAVEN'T IMPROVED.

I DRANK IT LIKE A GLASS OF WATER. GLUG GLUG GLUG.

I DREAM ABOUT BEING ON A BEACH

I DREAM ABOUT, LIKE, YOU KNOW, DRINKING A BEER,

I DRINK COFFEE ALL THE TIME AND STAY UP LATE AND STUDY.

I FEEL 100% READY.

I FIRST CALLED IT BAROLO,

I GOT INTO WINE BECAUSE I WAS WORKING IN A RESTAURANT

I HAD A DREAM THAT I WAS WALKING BY THE TASTING ROOM,

I HAD A MARATHON DAY LAST NIGHT AT DUSTIN AND SABATO'S HOUSE...

I HAVE BEEN, YOU KNOW, TASTING INCREDIBLY WELL

I HAVE SOME VINTAGE FOOTAGE OF WHEN HE WAS A LITTLE KNUCKLEHEAD

I HAVE TO BE HIM, I WILL BE HIM.

I HAVE TO BURN ALL MY FLASH CARDS, 'CAUSE I PASSED!

I HOPE BOTH OF US PASS, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE WE...

I I WANT TO PASS THIS AND BE DONE WITH IT,

I JUST DIDN'T BELIEVE IT.

I JUST GO STRAIGHT INTO THE BARREL.

I JUST HAVE TO LET IT LET IT HAPPEN, REALLY.

I JUST HUNG UP WITH MY DOC, DR. CALLEY.

I JUST KEPT ON GOING THROUGH REGIONS IN MY HEAD.

I JUST WANT YOU TO GET 'EM RIGHT.

I KNEW THAT HE WAS GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE RISING STARS,

I KNOW I WAS NERVOUS, UM, BEFORE HE... LIKE,

I KNOW THAT I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE A FAIR TEST THIS YEAR.

I KNOW THAT IAN THOUGHT THAT THE WINES WERE SWITCHED UP,

I KNOW! EVERY SCENE, RIGHT?

I LAID MY BALLS OUT, AND SAID COTE ROTIE '08.

I LAUGH AND I GO, "GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!"

I MAY HAVE GOOFED THAT ONE, DUDE. WINE FIVE?

I MEAN, AND YOU KNOW, I WAS WISCONSIN JUNIOR STATE CHAMPION,

I MEAN, IT'S RETARDED. LET'S SEE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE CALLED.

I MEAN, PRONOUNCING THESE WORDS.

I MEAN, YOU HAVE THIS PLANT

I NEED TO CHILL, 'CAUSE I'M WAY TOO WORKED UP.

I NEVER WOULD HAVE WORKED THAT HARD.

I PLAYED I'M I'M FAIRLY PROFICIENT IN POCKET BILLIARDS,

I PUT A CUE IN HIS HAND,

I SAID, "WELL, FRED, YOU KNOW, COME ON,

I SEE HIM AT HIS EXAM IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS,

I SEE THESE YOUNG KIDS NOW,

I SELL A LOT OF IT. I'M TASTING THIS, AND... SO YOU GUYS POURED THESE?

I SMELL ALL THE DISHES I EAT,

I SMELL THE HERBS, I SMELL THE PLANTS,

I TELL EVERYONE, "LISTEN, EVERYTHING THAT YOU'VE MISSED

I THINK EITHER MY HEART WILL SINK OR MY HEART WILL BE HAPPY

I THINK HE FEELS LIKE

I THINK I CALLED THE RIGHT WINES, WINE ONE AND TWO, SO...

I THINK I'VE GOT SOMEWHERE

I THINK IAN GRAVITATED TOWARDS WINE

I THINK IT'S JUST, AFTER THE LAST 25 MINUTES OF,

I THINK PART OF IT MIGHT BE

I THINK SLEEP'S VERY IMPORTANT.

I THINK THAT MOST OTHER CANDIDATES

I THINK THAT OPENING MORE BOTTLES SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA

I THINK THAT'S ONE THING THAT WINE HAS ENABLED ME TO DO,

I THINK THE BEST CASE SCENARIO IS OBVIOUS.

I THINK THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN IAN'S LIFE IS WINE.

I THINK THIS CAN ONLY BE ONE THING.

I THINK THIS IS SOUTHERN RHONE WITH A LOT OF SYRAH.

I THINK THIS IS SOUTHERN RHONE.

I THINK WE'LL BRING THIS TO AMERICA.

I THINK, UH... WILL YOU SMELL THIS WINE?

I THOUGHT IT WAS CLASSIC BAROLO ON WINE FIVE, AND THE TANNIN

I THOUGHT THAT THE CHEF HAD IT FIGURED OUT.

I TOLD MYSELF, I CAN BE HIM,

I UNDERSTAND THAT. IT JUST GETS TO A POINT SOMETIMES...

I WANNA DO IT FOR MY WIFE... MORE THAN ANYTHING.

I WANT IT TO BE DONE.

I WANT TO CHANGE THAT.

I WANT TO KNOW RIGHT NOW.

I WANT TO MAKE SURE MY NOSE IS IS A, A OKAY.

I WANT TO SAY HE WILL PASS, BUT... JUST NERVOUS.

I WANT TO SAY.

I WANTED TO BE A PARTICULAR PERSON

I WANTED, LIKE, JUST ONE STEROID THAT I COULD SLEEP ON OVERNIGHT,

I WAS AFRAID OF FRED.

I WAS AT WORK. I STILL REMEMBER, IT WAS ON A FRIDAY.

I WAS GONNA HOPE YOU WERE LIKE,

I WAS IMPRESSED.

I WAS JUST SITTING IN THE BREAK ROOM, CRYING, THE WHOLE ENTIRE AFTERNOON.

I WAS KIND OF KEEPING MY FINGERS CROSSED FOR A CONFIDENCE BOOSTER.

I WAS SCARED OF FRED DAME.

I WAS SLEEPING RIGHT NOW. I ASSUMED YOU HAD A KEY.

I WAS THE FIRST ONE TO GO IN, HUH?

I WAS WATCHING MYSELF IN THE CHAIR, WITH DAME.

I WASN'T ENTRENCHED IN THIS WORLD

I WILL TAKE CARE OF THE COCKTAILS FOR YOU.

I WONDER IF I CAN. LIKE, I JUST DOUBT I CAN.

I WOULD FOCUS A LITTLE BIT ON MY NON FRUIT AROMAS,

I'LL CALL THE VISCOSITY MEDIUM PLUS.

I'LL GO AHEAD AND START TIMING YOU.

I'LL PROBABLY DO SIX HOURS OF CARDS TONIGHT. JUST REVIEW.

I'LL TALK TO YOU A LITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT,

I'M ABOUT TO CALL DUSTIN WILSON ON SKYPE IN ABOUT 20 MINUTES,

I'M ACTUALLY REALLY NERVOUS.

I'M ALL GOOD WITH IT.

I'M FEELING MORE RELAXED THAN I WAS LAST WEEK.

I'M GLAD THAT I'M KIND OF WORKED UP

I'M GOING TO DALLAS.

I'M GONNA CALL '04, UH... '04 VACQUEYRAS.

I'M GONNA GO BACK THAT WINE. WHEW. WINE NUMBER FIVE...

I'M GONNA SAY OLD WORLD, FRANCE.

I'M JUST TOO IRRITATED RIGHT NOW.

I'M JUST... REALLY, REALLY SHAKING RIGHT NOW.

I'M LITERALLY SHAKING RIGHT NOW.

I'M NERVOUS, BUT THINK HOW NERVOUS MY WINES ARE RIGHT NOW,

I'M NOT EVEN IN ON THAT, BECAUSE YOU'LL GET PISSED AT ME.

I'M READY TO TO, UH... FOR THIS WEEK TO HAPPEN.

I'M SHAKING RIGHT NOW.

I'M SURE A LOT OF THAT WAS PREDICATED ON THE ANXIETY

I'M TASTING THIS RIGHT NOW, AND I TASTE BERINGER.

I'M TRYING TO REMEMBER WHAT HE SAID. SOME CLINK.

I'VE ALREADY GOT THE HAIRCUT.

I'VE DONE IT FOR OVER 25 YEARS.

I'VE EVER HAD TO DO, EVERY YEAR, OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

I'VE GOT INTO THIS RELATIVELY RECENTLY,

I'VE GOT ONE OF THE GREATEST WINE CELLARS IN AMERICA.

I'VE HAD A LONG DAY, AND I'M GONNA DO THE WINE OR WHAT?

I'VE HEARD LEGENDS ABOUT HIS TASTING ABILITIES.

I'VE HEARD THE STORY THAT HE WENT TO HIS M.S. EXAM.

I'VE NEVER WORKED HARDER AT ANYTHING, YOU KNOW,

I'VE PROBABLY FAILED MORE PEOPLE

I'VE SEEN HIM YELL AT PEOPLE DURING THEIR TASTINGS.

I'VE SEEN IT TIME AND TIME AGAIN,

IAN AND I HAVE STUDIED FOR THE ADVANCED TOGETHER,

IAN IS ABOUT AS TALENTED OF AN INDIVIDUAL

IAN IS HARD TO BE AROUND RIGHT NOW.

IAN, HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN A LITTLE BIT,

IAN, I HAVE TO IMAGINE, FOR HIM,

IAN, WHAT'S A FRESH CUT GARDEN HOSE?

IAN'S BIG AT TRACING MAPS.

IAN'S DAY IS DEFINITELY DIFFERENT.

IAN'S DEFINITELY THE MOST SERIOUS ONE,

IAN'S FRESH TENNIS BALL IS A NEW ONE,

ICE ON THE GROUND. WOW.

IF DUSTIN AND I DID THAT TO OURSELVES,

IF HE DOESN'T PUT ENOUGH PRESSURE ON HIMSELF, THEN HE'S NOT DOING IT RIGHT.

IF I COULD HIGH FIVE THE CAMERA, I WOULD HIGH FIVE THE CAMERA.

IF I DIDN'T HAVE CHILDREN, I NEVER WOULD HAVE PASSED THE MASTER'S.

IF I TOOK IT NOW.

IF IAN FACES THOSE DEMONS, HE WILL BE SUCCESSFUL.

IF NOT THE OLDEST STILL EXISTING WHITE WINES IN THE WORLD.

IF TWO OF US PASS, AND ONE OF US DOESN'T.

IF YOU DON'T FACE THOSE THINGS,

IF YOU DON'T KNOW IT, GET OUT,

IF YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, AND NOT VERY MANY OF THEM DID,

IF YOU REALLY WANT IT, YOU KNOW?

IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BECOME AN M.S., YOU CAN'T DO IT ALONE.

IF YOU THINK ABOUT WINE, IT'S ABOUT WHERE MEN WENT.

IF YOU'RE A BETTING MAN,

IF YOU'RE REALLY SERIOUS,

IF YOU'VE EVER BOTHERED TO READ THE BIBLE,

IF YOU'VE NEVER SMELLED A DRIED VIOLET,

IF... AND THEN FAMILY,

IMMEDIATELY, MY MIND GOES TO A SPECIFIC AREA OF THE WORLD,

IN 1984, AN AMERICAN PASSED ALL THREE PARTS ON HIS FIRST TRY.

IN A LOT OF WINES?

IN CONCLUSION, THIS WINE IS FROM THE NEW WORLD,

IN DIFFERENT WAYS WITH DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

IN ITS CONCLUSION, THIS IS AN OLD WORLD WINE...

IN SOME RESPECTS, I FEEL KIND OF LIKE A BLACK SHEEP,

IN TERMS OF DIFFICULTY.

IN THE BOTTOM OF THE NINTH, WITH TWO OUTS,

IN THE ENTIRE COURT.

IN THE LEFT NOSTRIL,

IN THE WORLD OF WINE.

IN THERE THAT, UH, IS VERY, VERY STRONG,

IN THIS RADICALLY BIZARRE ENVIRONMENT,

INTERESTING PASSION THAT WE'VE ALL DEVELOPED, YOU KNOW?

INTO IT THAT YOU HAVE TO BE,

IS "POOL TOY," YOU KNOW?

IS BEING ABLE TO DESCRIBE THE EARTH.

IS BY KNOWING THE WINE OURSELVES.

IS IT GONNA BE A FINISHER FOR 'EM?

IS IT INCREASES YOUR PERCEPTION.

IS THAT FROM THE SAME VINEYARD? NO WAY.

IS THAT IAN? YEP.

IS THAT OLIVE, OR IS THAT GREEN BELL PEPPER?

IS THE BET GONNA PAY OFF?

IS THE PERSON WHO HAD A TEACHER

IS THE REASON I DON'T DO THIS ANYMORE.

IS THEY WANT TO FIND THE OTHER PEOPLE THAT WERE TASTING

IS TRYING TO STEER CLEAR OF IAN

IS YOU GET UPSET AND THEN, IMMEDIATELY, YOU'RE OVER IT.

IS YOU STOP AND YOU TAKE IT AND YOU LOOK AT IT,

IT IT'S ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO PASS, BUT WITHOUT PEOPLE,

IT ALL COMES DOWN TO TASTING.

IT DOES NOT TASTE LIKE BURGUNDY.

IT DOES SMELL LIKE CHARDONNAY.

IT DOES TASTE LIKE CHARDONNAY.

IT DOESN'T REALLY MAKE ANY SENSE.

IT HAS BEEN VALUABLE BEYOND WORDS FOR ME,

IT IS CLEAN, YOUTHFUL, UH, AGAIN,

IT IS UNOAKED.

IT IS WHAT IT IS NOW.

IT JUST HAPPENS BY ATTRITION.

IT PUSHES ONE ANOTHER FORWARD.

IT REMAINS THE GREATEST "GLASS" OF WINE I'VE EVER HAD.

IT SOUNDS SO RIDICULOUS, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,

IT TENDS TO BE PART OF THE SACRAMENT.

IT USUALLY HAPPENED IN SPORTS, WHEN THE GAME'S ON THE LINE.

IT WAS A RESTAURANT THAT SERVED A LOT OF WINE.

IT WAS CRAZY.

IT WAS EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE, YOU KNOW?

IT WAS FLOWERY.

IT WAS GREAT, ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

IT WAS LIKE SOMEBODY TOLD ME THAT I HAD BROWN HAIR.

IT WAS TRANSLUCENT, IT WAS LIFTED.

IT WAS WOOLY, IT WAS FUNKY, IT WAS WONDERFUL, IT WAS NASTY,

IT WASN'T ALBARIÑO IF IT WAS PALE LIKE THAT,

IT WASN'T RHONE.

IT WILL BE DRAWN OUT BY THIS EXAM.

IT WILL JUST BE THE MOST GLORIOUS THING

IT'LL BE COMPLETELY DONE,

IT'LL BE OVER,

IT'LL PROBABLY JUST GET WORSE.

IT'S IT'S FULL OF CONFIDENCE AND DOUBT

IT'S IT'S INCOMPREHENSIBLE.

IT'S IT'S SO PERSONAL,

IT'S ...THE, UH, THE WORST CASE SCENARIO THAT'S NOT SO OBVIOUS.

IT'S 1:20 IN THE AFTERNOON RIGHT NOW,

IT'S 11:00. THOSE GUYS HAVE ALREADY TASTED, IAN AND BRIAN.

IT'S A BLANK ONE.

IT'S A COMPREHENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF WINE LAWS, WINE REGIONS.

IT'S A LOVELY TASTING. HEY, WHAT DO YOU DO? I'M HAPPY.

IT'S A TEST OF DEDICATION.

IT'S A THREE DAY TEST THAT CAN ONLY BE TAKEN ONCE A YEAR,

IT'S A TIMED TASTING.

IT'S ABOUT GEOLOGY, GEOGRAPHY,

IT'S ABOUT HISTORY, RIVERS.

IT'S ALL GOOD,

IT'S ALL GOOD, YOU KNOW, I'LL LEARN MORE,

IT'S ALMOST A WAY OF TRAVELING THROUGH THE WORLD.

IT'S ALMOST SURREAL, TELL YOU THE TRUTH.

IT'S BEEN SPREAD BY HUMANS SINCE THE NEOLITHIC PERIOD,

IT'S BEEN WRITTEN ABOUT SINCE THE THIRD MILLENNIUM B.C.

IT'S CHENIN, DUDE. IT'S SAUVENIEÈRE. THE WINE SPOKE.

IT'S DRIED RED FRUIT. YOU KEEP GOING BACK TO WINE NUMBER ONE.

IT'S FANTASTIC STUFF."

IT'S FERMENTED G**** JUICE. I MEAN, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

IT'S FROM BURGUNDY.

IT'S FUNNY. THEY'RE LIKE

IT'S GONNA BE REALLY INTERESTING TO SEE WHAT IAN CALLED,

IT'S GONNA BE THIS FEELING OF HELPLESSNESS,

IT'S GOT BLACK PEPPER AND SMOKY MEAT.

IT'S HARD!

IT'S IN FIVE LANGUAGES:

IT'S JUST COMBINATIONS.

IT'S JUST LIKE WE GO THROUGH LIFE

IT'S JUST PURE OBSESSION. THERE'S NO OTHER WAY AROUND IT.

IT'S JUST TO MOTIVATE EACH OTHER.

IT'S KIND OF NECESSARY IN THIS ENVIRONMENT.

IT'S KIND OF WEIRD, BUT...

IT'S LIKE A SIDEWALK ON A HOT DAY, AFTER THERE'S WATER ON IT.

IT'S LIKE A STORM COMES THROUGH HERE.

IT'S LIKE GAME DAY. YOU KNOW,

IT'S LIKE GOING TO THE RACETRACK AND YOU GET THE TOUT SHEET.

IT'S LIKE NOTHING ELSE MATTERS, OTHER THAN THIS LIQUID.

IT'S LIKE THE BRAND NEW PLASTIC

IT'S LIKE, I KNOW I DON'T.

IT'S LIKE, THIS IS WHY YOU TRAIN, IS FOR THIS DAY.

IT'S LIKE... I FEEL, LIKE, ABANDONED.

IT'S MEDIUM MINUS ACID.

IT'S NICE TO KIND OF ESCAPE THAT CHAOS,

IT'S NOT JUST HISTORY.

IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'RE CONSUMING, YOU KNOW, PELLEGRINO ALL NIGHT.

IT'S NOT UNCOMMON THAT THESE GUYS ARE SPENDING

IT'S POSSIBLE THAT IT'LL NEVER STOP,

IT'S POSSIBLE THIS IS A VERY RIPE, MODERN BURGUNDY AS WELL,

IT'S PRETTY AMAZING, THE AMOUNT OF INFORMATION YOU HAVE TO KNOW.

IT'S SHOWING BRUISED AROMAS: BRUISED APPLE, BRUISED PEAR,

IT'S SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO JUST KEEP ON DOING,

IT'S THE HIGHEST ACHIEVEMENT YOU CAN MAKE

IT'S THE ONLY WAY HE KNOWS HOW TO BE FOR THIS STUFF.

IT'S THE WAY IT'S GROWN, IT'S THE WAY IT'S MADE,

IT'S THE WINES THAT COULD POSSIBLY COME UP ON THE EXAM

IT'S TIME, SO... THAT'D BE A PRETTY COOL GIFT TO GIVE HER.

IT'S WEIRD, DROP DROPPING HIM OFF AT THE AIRPORT, AND...

IT'S YOUR SPOUSE.

IT'S, LIKE, "FIRST OF ALL, I DON'T KNOW YOUR GRANDMOTHER.

JESUS, DUDE. I WAS HOPING YOU WERE GONNA CALL THE SAME WINES.

JUST A COUPLE OF LITTLE TWISTS TODAY, SEE IF HE'S ON HIS GAME.

JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO GO THROUGH.

JUST GIVING EACH OTHER A HARD TIME.

JUST GOTTA LET IT FLOW, LET THINGS HAPPEN.

JUST OPEN THE DOOR, DUDE.

JUST SITTING THERE IN A GLASS RIGHT NOW,

JUST, YOU KNOW, MAYBE A LITTLE BIT OFF.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, AND JUST KEEP, UH,

KIND OF LEMON YELLOW WITH GOLDEN GREEN REFLECTIONS

KIND OF THE SAME THING WE HAD

LET ME GIVE YOU THE RESULTS.

LET'S GO DO SERVICE.

LET'S HAVE SOME. THAT'S AS COLD AS IT'S GONNA GET, RIGHT?

LIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE IN MY INDUSTRY ARE.

LIKE HE WENT TO THE DARK SIDE WITH SABATO,

LIKE JUST OPENED RUBBER HOSE.

LIKE RAJ PARR AND WHATNOT, RIGHT?

LIKE THE PHILISTINE OF THE COURT.

LIKE, A FRESHLY OPENED CAN OF TENNIS BALLS,

LIKE, CONSTANTLY FUCKIN' WITH ME,

LIKE, CRUSHED HILLSIDE.

LIKE, HE LIKES TO SIT YOU DOWN,

LIKE, HE'S MY MAN WIFE, AND I FEEL ABANDONED,

LIKE, YOU KNOW, "CAN CAN WE BE DONE WITH THIS?"

LIVING AND BREATHING THIS STUFF.

Liz: I SAY THAT ALL THE TIME NEW WATER HOSE.

LOTS OF PEOPLE THAT ARE LOOKING UP TO YOU

MAN, I HAVE GOT TO MAKE SURE THERE'S NO DRYNESS.

Man: WE'RE ALL SO BUSY WITH OUR LIVES,

MANDARIN. TANGERINE PEEL. HAWTHORNE. ACACIA.

MAYBE A LITTLE BIT OF PERFUME OR LIPSTICK OR SOMETHING.

MAYBE A LITTLE LANOLIN, WET WOOL,

MAYBE WE SHOULD SPELL IT OUT AND HOLD IT UP. "COLD."

McClintic: THE ANCIENT GREEKS BROUGHT IT TO ITALY.

McClintic: WHEN THE SPANISH DISCOVERED THE NEW WORLD,

MEDIUM CONCENTRATION OF COLOR.

MEDIUM CONCENTRATION.

MEDIUM PLUS ACID.

MEDIUM PLUS COMPLEXITY. INITIAL CONCLUSION

MEDIUM PLUS INTENSITY AROMAS.

MODERATE PLUS POWER ON THE NOSE.

MORE THAN ANYTHING.

MOVING INTO A WATERY MENISCUS.

MR. CAUBLE.

MY BACK'S GONNA BE AGAINST THE WALL, SO THIS IS A GOOD THING.

MY DEGREE WAS IN GEOGRAPHY.

MY HEART WAS GOING FREAKING CRAZY, WALKING INTO THAT ROOM.

MY HUSBAND'S A BULL IN A CHINA SHOP.

MY RIGHT ONE'S CLEAR, MY LEFT ONE'S CLOSED.

MY WIFE BASICALLY TOLD ME,

NAME A WINERY FROM UKRAINE.

NEITHER DOES ANYBODY ELSE.

NEW WORLD, OLD WORLD,

NEW WORLD. NORTH AMERICA. CALIFORNIA.

NO EVIDENCE OF GAS, FLOCCULANTS, OR SEDIMENT.

NO ONE IN OUR FAMILY WAS INTO DESCRIBING WINE,

NO QUESTION, IT'S THE HARDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE, PERIOD.

NO SIGNS OF NEW OAK ON THE WINE.

NO, BUT IF YOU START YOU'VE NEVER DONE THAT?

NO, DUDE, I'VE BEEN FREAKING, LIKE, JUST TOTALLY GOING NUTS HERE.

NO, I JUST DON'T NEED THE WHOLE PEANUT GALLERY.

NO, NO. NOW, THAT THAT IS ABSOLUTELY THE WRONG ATTITUDE.

NO, THE MINUTE YOU CALLED CHARDONNAY, I KNEW YOU WERE DOOMED,

NO, WAIT A MINUTE I THINK IT WAS ALBARIÑO."

NO. I I DON'T GIVE UP.

NO. IT'S DEFINITELY NOT AUSSIE RIESLING.

NOBODY EVER SAYS, "THEY MUST BE A NATURAL SAMURAI SWORD MAKER."

NOSE IS CLEAN, UH, YOUTHFUL.

NOSE IS CLEAN, YOUTHFUL. MEDIUM PLUS INTENSITY OF AROMAS.

NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD.

NOT A PERFECT FLIGHT TODAY. I WOULDN'T HAVE PASSED MY M.S.

NOT BURIED IN A WINE BOOK OR BURIED IN NOTE CARDS

NOT THE BRAND OF THE WINE, NOT THE LABEL OF THE WINE.

NOT UNLESS WE SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE,

NOW IT GROWS IN CHILE, ARGENTINA, MEXICO, CALIFORNIA.

NOW THESE GUYS NOW, THERE'S FEAR.

NOW, WHEN I GET A QUESTION,

NOWRN74 IN SAN FRANCISCO.

OF BEING ABLE TO VERY REGULARLY IDENTIFY, YOU KNOW, THE WINE,

OF BOTH SOCIETIES.

OF ONE OF THE GREATEST WINES,

OF WHAT I'M GONNA LOOK LIKE MAÑANAFOR THE TEST.

OF, UH, MEDIUM CONCENTRATION.

OH, "DAD." WE CALL HIM DAD.

OH, IT'S SPREAD BY THE GLASSY WINGED SHARPSHOOTER.

OH, MAN, THERE WAS, LIKE, OCTOPUS, YOU KNOW,

OH, MY GOD, SO... OKAY!

OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD!

OH, MY GOD. OKAY. BYE. [ laughter ] BYE.

OH, MY GOD. THANK GOD.

OH, MY GOD. THEY'RE DISGUSTING.

OH, REALLY?

OH, SORRY. P R O C T O R. PROCTOR. PROCTOR, LAST NAME.

OH, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS ONE.

OH, WELL, WHERE DID THEY GET THE LEMON PEELS?

OH, WOW! HE DID IT!

OH! LOOK WHAT HAPPENED! LOOK WHAT HAPPENED!

OH. UH, THAT'S TWO.

OKAY, THEY HIT YOU. YEAH, YEAH.

OKAY, TODAY'S TASTING IS FOR BRIAN McCLINTIC.

OKAY? SO LET'S GO TO WINE NUMBER THREE.

OKAY. IT'S COLD NOW.

OKAY. LET'S DO IT.

ON THE NOSE, THIS WINE IS CLEAN, NO OBVIOUS FLAWS.

ON THE NOSE, WINE IS CLEAN, NO OBVIOUS FLAWS.

ONE OF MY FAVORITE DESCRIPTORS IS, UM, UH, "GRANNY PURSE."

ONE OF OUR FAVORITES FOR RIESLING

ONE PATH TAKES YOU TO CHINON,

ONE PATH TAKES YOU TO THE NORTHERN RHONE, ALL RIGHT?

ONE THING ABOUT THE SOMM THAT'S IMPORTANT,

ONLY TO PROBABLY, 95% CHANCE, GET DEFEATED.

OOH, I CALLED, UH, GRAND CRU ALSATIAN RIESLING ON IT.

OR BURIED IN WINE GLASSES.

OR CANTABRIA... [ lists Spanish regions ], OR WHEREVER IT MIGHT BE.

OR ELSE HE'S GONNA, YOU KNOW, BREAK ME DOWN AND, UH...

OR FIND ANOTHER GROUP TO LATCH ONTO, BECAUSE THIS TEST IS...

OR PEOPLE THAT ARE JUST PLAIN NASTY,

OR RIOJA, WHAT THE SUBREGIONS ARE,

OR ROOM.

OR SOME HIGHLY COMPETITIVE NATURE

OR THEY SAY, "WOW, I WANT TO DO THAT."

OR UNCOOPERATIVE CLIENTS,

OR WHAT I'D RATHER CALL DEDUCTIVE TASTING, IT'S LEARNED.

OR YOU DONE, OR HOW DO YOU FEEL?

OR YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S CLOSET.

OR, LIKE, JUST TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT IS.

OTHER THAN HE WANTED TO BE IN THIS INDUSTRY,

OUR FEARLESS FATHER IS OVER THERE ASLEEP.

OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN CONGRUENT

OUT OF THOSE FIVE, WHAT SOUNDS LIKE THE MOST FUN?

OVER 40 YEARS, THERE'S ONLY BEEN, LIKE, 170 IN THE WORLD.

OVER THE NEXT 36 HOURS AND SAY,

PALATE?

PASS OR FAIL, THEY WILL NEVER TELL YOU WHAT THE WINES WERE.

PASSING THIS EXAM.

PASSPORT? GOT IT. IT'S IN MY BACK POCKET.

PEOPLE ALWAYS TALK ABOUT THE HYPE OF TASTING

PEOPLE HAVE A DIFFICULTY WITH ITALY, FOR SOME REASON.

PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DEDICATING THEIR LIFE

PEOPLE THAT MEET HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME ARE LIKE,

PEOPLE WILL EITHER GO, "WOW, THAT'S IMPRESSIVE,"

PICTURE WITH DMITRI AND I.

PINOT GRIGIO'S NEUTRAL, CHABLIS.

PLAYED WITH THEM LIKE THEY PLAY WITH EACH OTHER.

POINTED TOE SHOES,

PORTUGUESE, SPANISH, ITALIAN, GERMAN, FRENCH, HUNGARIAN.

POSSIBLE COUNTRIES ARE AUSTRALIA.

POSSIBLE G**** VARIETALS INCLUDE CHARDONNAY, MARSANNE ROUSSANNE.

POSSIBLE G**** VARIETALS INCLUDE...

POSSIBLE G****S ARE RIESLING.

POSSIBLE VARIETALS, POSSIBLE AGE RANGE,

PRETTY BLOODY, GUTTY KIND OF FISHING.

PROBABLY SOMEONE PASSED.

PROFESSIONAL BEHAVIOR

PUT A SMILE ON THAT FACE AND GO OUT THERE, HUH?

REALLY THIS CRUSHED SLATE AND CRUSHED CHALKY NOTE.

REALLY, IF ANYTHING,

RIGHT HERE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

RIGHT NOW, I'M AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

RIGHT? IS THAT TOBACCO, OR IS THAT SMOKED MEAT?

SAGE, TRUFFLE, WET FOREST FLOOR,

SAINT CYR.

SAUVIGNON BLANC IS SO GETTABLE,

SAUVIGNON BLANC, PEOPLE... SMELLS LIKE CAT PEE AND IT DOES.

SAY, "WHAT IS IT?"

SAY, AT THE RACETRACK, SAYS,

SECOND OF ALL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL HER CLOSET SMELLS LIKE."

SEE WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE CALLED.

SERIOUSLY. YOU CAN'T YOU HAVE TO HAVE MOMENTUM, DUDE.

SHARE A TURBULENT HISTORY AS A BUFFER

SHE SHE DESERVES TO HAVE ME

SHOW THOSE PEARLY WHITES. LEAST SHE MADE YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH,

SIMULTANEOUSLY IN ANOTHER ROOM.

SIX MONTHS LATER,

SIX WINES, 25 MINUTES.

SLEEP'S INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT

SLIGHT BOTRYTIS, LIMESTONE, WET WOOL.

SLOWLY BUT SURELY,

SMELL IS A REALLY FUNNY THING.

SO AS A RESULT, IT WAS A TOTAL FAILURE.

SO FIGURE OUT WHAT'S IMPORTANT IN THE WINE,

SO HE DOES HIS STUDYING AT LATE NIGHT.

SO HE ENDED UP EVALUATING WINE.

SO I BROUGHT UP THESE REALLY FANCY WINES,

SO I HAVE TO DELIVER.

SO I HAVE VERY LITTLE SEASONING, VERY LITTLE EXPERIENCE.

SO I'M JUST GONNA CLEAN IT WITH A NETI POT IN THE MORNING,

SO I'M PLEASED TO TELL YOU, SIR,

SO I'VE FOUND THAT, UM, TRACING MAPS HAS BEEN A HUGE HELP.

SO IF I SAID, "NAME THREE BACTERIAL DISEASES,"

SO IT GOES INTO THAT VALVE,

SO IT'S AN AMAZING ART

SO JUST, YOU KNOW, MAYBE FOR THE NEXT WEEK OR SO,

SO NOW I HAVE A GLASS OF WINE, I'M LIKE, IS THIS IT? AM I DONE?

SO NOW WHAT? WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

SO SHE CAN CHECK ON MY LEFT NOSTRIL, MAN,

SO THAT HELPS THE PEOPLE WITH THEIR WAGER

SO THAT WHEN YOU GET TO A WINE GLASS AND YOU SMELL IT,

SO THAT WHOLE AFTERNOON,

SO THERE'S THIS DIPLOMA CALLED THE MASTER SOMMELIER DIPLOMA.

SO WE CAN KIND OF RELAX BEFOREHAND,

SO WHEN YOU GET TO THE FIRST ONE,

SO WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT?

SO YOU CAN EVALUATE THE WINE BETTER.

SO YOU TORTURE YOURSELF,

SO YOU'RE YOU WERE YOU'RE THERE.

SO, AS IT GOES ON,

SO, DRIED, UH SO DRIED RED FRUIT, UM, POMEGRANATE, SO...

SO, IAN, WHAT I WOULD SAY IS,

SO, UH, AND...

SO, UH, WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.

SO, UH, YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF LIKE THREE SECONDS,

SO, WE'LL GO THROUGH THIS TASTING, AND REMEMBER, UM,

SO, WE'LL HAVE THAT CONVERSATION.

SO, WHERE DO YOU GO? DO YOU GO SAINT CYR?

SO, YOU KNOW, MENTRIDA OR WHEREVER IT MIGHT BE,

SO, YOU WALK WITH THEM,

SO... BEARD IS GOIN' BYE BYE.

SO... EVERY MOMENT OF MY LIFE HAS BEEN, YOU KNOW,

SO... KEEP THAT HEAD UP. WE STILL HAVE WORK TO DO.

SOME ARE MORE LIKE WET ROCKS OR SLATE.

SOME ARE ORGANIC, AND TASTE LIKE COMPOST OR GARDEN SOIL.

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST OLD SOULS.

SOME SERIOUS INTENSITY, DUDE.

SOME VANILLA, SOME CLOVE, CINNAMON, BAKING SPICES.

SOME WINES AREN'T EARTHY AT ALL.

SOMETIMES I'M LIKE, "WOW, THIS IS SUCH A COOL WORLD

SOMETIMES YOU GET SO TIRED THAT YOU FORGET TO WRITE THE ANSWER ON IT.

SOMMELIERS ARE PROFESSIONALS THAT ARE SUPPOSEDLY EXPERTS

SOMMS NOW HAVE BECOME THE NEW ROCK STARS OF OUR INDUSTRY,

SORRY, BUDDY, TO SAY THIS

SOUTH AFRICA, CANADA, AND SO ON.

SPREAD IT TO THEIR EMPIRES:

STANDING IN THE LINE AT THE GROCERY STORE,

START LICKING ROCKS. NO, CUT THAT!

STEERING CLEAR OF HIM AT THE EXAM,

STOP. STOP THE TIME. WHEN YOU GO IN AND YOU TAKE THAT TEST,

STRUCTURE.

SUDDENLY THE PHONE STARTS RINGING FOR OPPORTUNITIES

SUGAR, ACID, TANNINS. HOW'S THE ALCOHOL BODY?

TAKES ME TO ONE PLACE: NORTHERN RHONE.

TASTES LIKE IT HAS NO ALCOHOL.

TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE DOING WRONG, WHY YOU'RE DOING IT.

TEND TO FIND THEIR WAY INTO THE SOMM PROFESSION.

THAN ANY OTHER HUMAN BEING ON THE PLANET,

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU. EVEN THOUGH I'M THE YOUNGEST.

THAT THAT DECAYING ANIMAL SKIN.

THAT YOU HAVE NO CHANCE. DON'T EVEN BOTHER GOING. SAVE THE MONEY.

THAT CAUSES PIERCE'S DISEASE.

THAT FRED IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST INTIMIDATING PEOPLE

THAT I CUT THE TIP OFF OF, BASICALLY,

THAT I GET TO BE A PART OF AND SEE,"

THAT I SAW IN A RESTAURANT:

THAT IF I TAKE A LEFT TURN,

THAT IS A BALLSY CALL, DUDE. '04 VACQUEYRAS? WHY?

THAT KIND OF SUCKS FOR A SOMM,

THAT MAKE ANYTHING SMELL LIKE IT SMELLS,

THAT ONE PERSON IS ALL ALONE, COMPLETELY ALONE.

THAT PERSON WILL HAVE TO, LIKE, HIKE EVEREST BY THEMSELF,

THAT THE FACT THAT NO ONE IN THIS ROOM CALLED SAUVIGNON BLANC SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME.

THAT THEY WILL PASS THIS EXAM AND NOT HAVE TO STUDY ANYMORE.

THAT WAS CHINON, MAN.

THAT WAS FRED DAME.

THAT WAS TOURAINE CHINON '09 CABERNET FRANC. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

THAT WAS, I THINK, A LITTLE BIT AGGRESSIVE,

THAT WE USE TO MAKE WINE,

THAT YOU DON'T COMPLETELY FEEL, YOU KNOW, CONFIDENT WITH.

THAT YOU'LL BE WEARING THE RED BADGE... FROM THEN ON.

THAT YOU'RE BLOWING UP FOR YOUR CHILD TO GO PLAY WITH IN THE POOL.

THAT YOU'RE GONNA DEDICATE SO MUCH ENERGY AND PASSION

THAT YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

THAT'S 200 YARDS AWAY,

THAT'S A BETTER ANSWER. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT OTHER KIND OF ANSWER.

THAT'S A NEW ONE. GOOD. I LIKE THAT.

THAT'S CALIFORNIA CHARDONNAY. THIS IS HERMITAGE.

THAT'S KIND OF LIKE THE GUNFIGHTER COAT. I KIND OF LIKE THAT.

THAT'S KIND OF OUR CODE. THAT'S THE WAY WE DESCRIBE CAT PEE.

THAT'S LIKE A A RUNNER WITHOUT ANY LEGS.

THAT'S THE WORST PART ABOUT IT.

THAT'S THE WORST PART.

THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT YOU,

THAT'S WHAT KEY LIME SMELLS LIKE."

THAT'S WHAT THEY'VE MADE IT VERY CLEAR.

THAT'S WHAT YOU SEE, YOU KNOW?

THAT'S WHY THE COURT OF MASTER SOMMELIERS EXISTS.

THE ACID IS MEDIUM MINUS.

THE ALSATIAN CULTURE REFLECTS CUMULATIVE ELEMENTS

THE BEST KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THE BEST WINEMAKING.

THE BEST WAY TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR GUESTS, BY LOOKING GOOD.

THE BOTTLE I'M SHOWING YOU IS JOHANNESBURG RIESLING FROM 1735,

THE COMPETITIVE NATURE, THEY ALL FEED OFF OF IT.

THE DAY BEFORE THE TASTING EXAM.

THE DUTCH, THE FRENCH, AND THE BRITISH

THE EASTERN UNITED STATES, AUSTRALIA, NEW ZEALAND,

THE ENTIRE WORLD OF WINE, SPIRITS, SAKE, BEER, CIGARS,

THE EXAM IS THREE PARTS.

THE EXTRA 16 POUNDS OF WINE, AND...

THE FEELING IF I DO PASS THIS EXAM.

THE FIRST EXAM WAS HELD IN THE U.K. IN 1969.

THE FIRST THING THAT HAPPENS WHEN EVERYBODY GETS OUT OF THE TASTING

THE FLASH CARDS YOU HAVEN'T REMEMBERED.

THE GOOD NEWS IS IF EVERYBODY'S ALL OVER THE PLACE,

THE G**** IS CHARDONNAY, UM, FROM THE 2008 VINTAGE,

THE HAPPIEST PERSON WHEN YOU PASS IS NOT YOU,

THE HIGHEST LEVEL IS CALLED THE MASTER EXAM.

THE HISTORY OF WINE IS FASCINATING.

THE IMPORTANT THING TO DO IS TO TORTURE YOURSELF

THE LEGEND OF HIM "DAMING" THE EXAM.

THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, SO TO SPEAK,

THE MASTERS HAVE PRETTY MUCH ALREADY ACCEPTED ME AS FAMILY,

THE METAMORPHOSIS BEGINS.

THE NAMES OF THE G****S, THERE'S 3,000 IN ITALY ALONE.

THE NEW MASTER SOMMELIER, WE HAVE MR. DUSTIN WILSON.

THE NEXT RED, UM, WAS, UH, TANNIC. WHAT'D YOU CALL ?

THE ONLY OTHER TIME OUTSIDE OF THAT THAT I CRIED

THE ONLY THINGS THAT ARE COMING TO MIND.

THE OTHER THING THAT WILL TAKE TREMENDOUS FOCUS

THE OTHER WIVES THAT I KNOW DREAD THE NOTE CARDS,

THE PERSON THAT'S GONNA MAKE A GREAT SAMURAI SWORD

THE PRESSURE'S EVEN MORE SO, BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO STAY ON TOP.

THE PROMISED LAND THERE, RIGHT?

THE REALITY IS,

THE REGIONS, THE SUBREGIONS, THE DISTRICTS, THE VILLAGES.

THE ROMAN ARMY MARCHED ON WINE.

THE ROMANS BROUGHT IT TO FRANCE, GERMANY, SPAIN,

THE ROMANS DID ALL THE ORIGINAL PLANTINGS,

THE SERVICE PORTION OF THE EXAM,

THE SKILL OF BLIND TASTING

THE SPIT BUCKET IS THIS THING THAT I FIND

THE STUFF IS NOT IN THE WINE,

THE SUBREGION, JUST ON THE NOSE.

THE THEORY EXAM IS AN ORAL EXAMINATION

THE THOUGHT OF, LIKE, WHEN I SIT THERE AND THINK ABOUT,

THE TWO PEOPLE STILL HAVE EACH OTHER.

THE UNKEMPT MOUNTAIN MAN LOOK.

THE WHITES ARE KIND OF FUNNY TODAY,

THE WINE HAS A DARK RUBY CORE, CONSISTENT TO THE EDGE,

THE WINE HAS A LIGHT STRAW CORE,

THE WINE IS... CLEARLY... RIPE...

THE WORLD OF WINE IS ALWAYS GROWING.

THEIR THEIR JOB IS DONE.

THEN IT HOPS OVER HERE, THIS SIDE'S CLOGGED, THAT SIDE'S WORKING.

THEN WE HAVE... [ speaking German phrases ]

THEORY FELT GOOD, TASTING, I THINK I WAS ON THE BORDER.

THEORY PROBABLY TAKES THE MOST TIME,

THERE IS A THEORY EXAM.

THERE IS CINNAMON, NUTMEG, CLOVE, VANILLA, SOME BAKING SPICES.

THERE IS HOPE IN THEIR HEARTS RIGHT NOW,

THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OF GAS OR FLOCCULATION IN MY GLASS.

THERE WAS PETULANCE IN IT, AND I ENDED UP CALLING, UM...

THERE WERE TWO WINES I KNEW, AND THERE WERE

THERE'S A LITTLE BIT OF, UH, SELF DOUBT.

THERE'S A LOT OF NEW FRENCH OAK ON THIS WINE.

THERE'S A LOT OF SELF CONFIDENCE.

THERE'S A LOT OF SHOOTING THE HALIBUT IN THE BRAIN SO IT DIES...

THERE'S A LOT OF TRASH TALKING,

THERE'S A... KIND OF A FRESH...

THERE'S BASICALLY ONLY ONE SPECIES OF G**** VINE

THERE'S BLOOD AND GUTS EVERY "

THERE'S FEAR IN THEIR HEART OF FAILURE.

THERE'S FEAR OF, OF SOMEONE TELLING YOU

THERE'S NO EVIDENCE OF GAS OR FLOCCULATION.

THERE'S NO EVIDENCE OF GAS OR FLOCCULATION.

THERE'S NO WAY OF GETTIN' OUT OF THAT SHIT.

THERE'S ONLY GONNA BE ONE OUTCOME.

THERE'S THE DIPLOMA, I'VE GOT THIS, THAT.

THERE'S TWO WAYS TO APPROACH IT.

THERE'S WHITE FLORALS, ALMOST LIKE A FRESH CUT FLOWER

THEY ARE JUST EGOMANIACS WHO ARE SO SELF ABSORBED.

THEY BROUGHT VITIS VINIFERA.

THEY COME THROUGH YOUR HOUSE, AND THEY TASTE,

THEY DIDN'T DRINK WATER TOO DANGEROUS TO DRINK WATER, SO THEY DRANK WINE.

THEY DO IT UNTIL THEY ARE JUST, LIKE, EXHAUSTED.

THEY HAVE GREAT PACING, WITH A LOT OF GREAT DESCRIPTORS,

THEY KNOW THAT A LOT OF US GOT THAT EXAM LAST YEAR

THEY SPIT IT IN THE SPIT BUCKET, AND I COME HOME,

THEY TELL ME THEY'RE GONNA BE A MASTER,

THEY WANT TO BE EXPERTS IN A GIVEN FIELD.

THEY WANT TO BE THE BEST THEY CAN BE IN A GIVEN FIELD.

THEY'LL SPEND THE WHOLE EVENING

THEY'RE BORN TO BE FATHERS, YOU KNOW?

THEY'RE FAST BALLS, THEY'RE READY TO GO.

THEY'RE GIVING YOU THEY'RE LIKE, "SO, HOW YOU FEEL?"

THEY'RE LIKE GUYS IN A LOCKER ROOM, WITH WINE BOTTLES.

THEY'RE NOT GONNA GO BACK TO THAT COURT.

THIS FIVE DAYS IS GONNA BE HORRIBLE, I CAN TELL.

THIS IS A ROUSANNE MARSANNE BLEND FROM THE HILL OF HERMITAGE.

THIS IS A WINE THAT, FOR YOU, DIDN'T HAVE MUCH OAK ON IT.

THIS IS ALL A SHEET OF ICE. THAT'S FUN.

THIS IS AS FAR AS WE GO? I DON'T THINK SO.

THIS IS CRAZY. IT IS CRAZY.

THIS IS HOW YOU HANDLE STRESS BEFORE A BIG TEST,

THIS IS JUST IT'S JUST PURE DEDICATION.

THIS IS MY WINE ONE. I THINK THAT YOU HAD SWITCHED THEM.

THIS IS NOT PRACTICE ANYMORE, YOU KNOW?

THIS IS SO UNREAL.

THIS IS THE SECOND YEAR DUSTIN AND I HAVE TAKEN IT TOGETHER,

THIS IS WHAT WINE NUMBER TWO IS,

THIS IS WHAT WINE NUMBER... TWO IS.

THIS SIDE'S WORKING, THIS SIDE'S CLOGGED,

THIS SUCKS.

THIS WHOLE PROCESS, YOU KNOW,

THIS WINE HAS A MODERATE PLUS INTENSITY,

THIS WINE HAS A MODERATE PLUS INTENSITY.

THIS WINE IS A BRIGHT RED RUBY COLOR,

THIS WINE IS FROM CALIFORNIA.

THIS WINE IS FROM FRANCE, THIS WINE IS FROM THE RHONE VALLEY,

THIS WINE IS FROM SONOMA COUNTY.

THIS WINE IS FROM SOUTH AUSTRALIA,

THIS WINE IS FROM THE NEW WORLD, FROM A WARM CLIMATE,

THIS WINE IS FROM THE NORTHERN RHONE VALLEY.

THIS WINE IS FROM THE NORTHERN RHONE. THIS IS SAINT JOSEPH, 2008,

THIS WINE IS FROM THE RHONE VALLEY.

THIS WINE IS FROM THE RUSSIAN RIVER VALLEY.

THIS WINE IS MEDIUM CLEAR. THE WINE IS BRIGHT.

THIS WINE IS VERY YOUNG, VERY BRIGHT, VERY YOUTHFUL.

THIS WINE IS YOUTHFUL.

THIS WINE IS, UH, FROM CLARE VALLEY,

THIS WINE IS... STAR BRIGHT.

THOSE GREAT IDEAS YOU HAVE AT 2:00 IN THE MORNING.

THREE WHITES AND THREE REDS...

TIME TO CLEAN IT UP FROM, UH,

TO BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE WORLD,

TO BE AN OUTSTANDING SOMMELIER,

TO BE AT AT ABOUT 48 TO 53 DEGREES.

TO BE HONEST WITH YOU. UM...

TO BECOME SO OBSESSED WITH THE SUBJECT

TO BUY THAT BOTTLE OF WINE.

TO CRITICIZE YOU FOR, BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU DID A GREAT JOB.

TO GET BACK TO A NORMAL LIFE WOULD BE PHENOMENAL.

TO GET THROUGH COLLEGE.

TO IMPRESS THE GREAT FRED DAME, RIGHT?

TO MAKE SOMETHING AMAZING OUT OF IT, YOU KNOW?

TO PASS THIS EXAMINATION.

TO PASSING HIS ADVANCED IN A YEAR.

TO SEE HOW THESE CANDIDATES RESPONDED

TODAY IT'S POSSIBLE I BECOME A MASTER SOMMELIER.

TOMORROW NIGHT, MIDNIGHT, SEE YOU THEN.

TREMBLING AS I'M ABOUT TO DEVOUR 'EM.

TWO AROMATIC WHITES TO START, WHICH ARE ALWAYS DIFFICULT.

TWO THOUSAND AND... 2009 VINTAGE.

UH, 1855 CLASSIFICATION CABERNET SAUVIGNON.

UH, A LITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT IT LATER, ALL RIGHT?

UH, AGAIN, GOT A PALER YELLOW HERE WITH GLINTS OF GREEN.

UH, IT WAS A BIG DEAL FOR BOTH OF US.

UH, STARTING GOING THROUGH THE COURT.

UH, THIS WINE IS FROM AUSTRALIA,

UH, UH, LEMON SEEDS, LITTLE BIT OF LIME SKIN.

UH, VILLAGE IN ANJOU THAT CAN ADD ITS NAME TO ANJOU VILLAGES.

UH... BOUTAGE.

UH... I'LL CALL THIS 2006.

UM, ANXIETY AND NERVOUSNESS MANIFESTS ITSELF

UM, BUT, UH, TONIGHT, WE'RE GONNA LEAVE OUR CLOTHES ON.

UM, CAN BE CREATED BY FERMENTATION.

UM, I HAD AN OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE.

UM, IT'S BURGUNDY.

UM, MAYBE DO ONE OR TWO MORE TASTINGS AND RELAX.

UM, NO EVIDENCE OF GAS OR SEDIMENT.

UM, OR YOU CAN KIND OF JUST, YOU KNOW,

UM, TO TRAVEL, TO SPEAK, UM, TO TEACH.

UM...

UM...

UM... IT IT YOU HAD ONE PART COMING IN,

UM... UH... IT'S GOOD.

UM... YOU DID OKAY THIS TIME.

UNDER A TREMENDOUS PRESSURE FROM TWO VERY DIFFICULT CUSTOMERS.

UNDERRIPE MELON, MELON SKIN.

UPON MY FOURTH ATTEMPT AT THE M.S. EXAM,

USUALLY, PEOPLE WITH A SPORTS BACKGROUND

VERSUS A FRESH VIOLET?

VERY GLOSSY, VERY EXTRACTED, LOTS OF GLYCEROL.

VERY, VERY LIGHT STANDING IN THE TEARS.

VISCOSITY IS MEDIUM PLUS. NO GAS, NO SEDIMENT.

WAIT, WHAT IS THAT FROM?

WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, ONE MORE DOSE,

WAKING UP, HOW AM I GONNA PREPARE FOR THIS EXAM?

WANNA HAVE A COFFEE CHUGGING CONTEST?

WAS WHEN I PASSED THIS EXAM.

WAY TO GO, DAD!

WE ALL HAVE A FEAR OF BEING JUDGED.

WE ALL HAVE A FEAR OF FAILURE.

WE ALL OWE FRED, PERIOD.

WE ALWAYS THINK OF THIS WITH WINE:

WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A BONFIRE WITH ALL OF HIS NOTE CARDS.

WE ARE HERE, BROTHER.

WE CALL HIM SEÑOR SMOOTH.

WE CALL IAN DAD BECAUSE HE, UH, HE LOVES TO BE THE FATHER.

WE CELEBRATED, WE PARTIED.

WE HAD, LIKE, 13 OR 14 HOURS OF JUST STRAIGHT REVIEW. [ sighs ]

WE HAVE TEN DAYS LEFT.

WE SET UP A MOCK RESTAURANT ENVIRONMENT.

WE STILL HAVE THE CORE INTACT.

WE USE THE WORD "BLACK CURRANT BUD."

WE WANT COLD WINE.

WE WANT TO LIVE OUR LIVES AGAIN,

WE WANT TO SEE HIM CRUSH, BUT WE DON'T

WE WOULDN'T BE HERE IF IT WASN'T FOR HIM.

WE, UH, YOU KNOW, WE CAME CLOSE. WE GOT ONE MORE PIECE.

WE, UH... WE GOT THROUGH THAT THEORY PART,

WE... I DON'T KNOW.

WE'D BE, LIKE, CRYING IN THE FETAL POSITION.

WE'LL SEE IF MR. McCLINTIC HAS HIS, UH, HAS HIS WITS ABOUT HIM.

WE'LL START WHEN YOU'RE READY."

WE'LL TASTE THEM IN A MINUTE. I'M JUST VERY CONFUSED. I GO BACK TO THEM.

WE'RE AT THE CULMINATION OF THE BEST

WE'RE COMPLETELY DEPENDENT ON EACH OTHER,

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A TON OF TIME TO ACTUALLY GO ON A DATE.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A VERY SERIOUS CONVERSATION,

WE'RE OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN,

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT FERMENTED G**** JUICE, RIGHT?

WE'RE TRYING TO FOCUS FOR THE EXAM,

WE'RE YOUR CHILDREN. WE ALWAYS WILL BE.

WE'VE GOT KIND OF CANDIED CITRUS HERE.

WE'VE GOT TO GO TALK TO THE OTHER BOYS.

WELL, AT THE END OF THE DAY, IT'S TRUE.

WELL, I'M READY TO GET UP, QUIT BEING A

WELL, LET'S SHOW IAN SOME RESPECT.

WELL, RELAX. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

WELL, THERE'S SO MUCH HONOR IN TRYING.

WELL, THIS IS ONE OF THOSE INTERESTING MOMENTS IN A CAREER.

WELL, UH, YES, INDEED, UH...

WHAT ARE THE APPROVED QWPSR REGIONS OF ROMANIA? BULGARIA?

WHAT ARE THE THINGS THEY DID ALL DAY?

WHAT CAME OUT OF IT WERE THE MONKS,

WHAT ELSE DO YOU DO? YOU JUST CALL 'EM AND GO.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LEARN TO BLIND TASTE

WHAT I DO IS, I'LL TAKE A MAJOR MAP AREA

WHAT I TRIED TO INSPIRE IS THAT YOU ARE A WARRIOR,

WHAT I'VE LEARNED IS THAT YOU FINISH THAT UP,

WHAT KIND OF OPERATION YOU RUNNIN' HERE, SON? COLD!

WHAT TO EAT WITH EVERY DIFFERENT KIND OF WINE.

WHAT WE SET UP WAS AN ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE SITUATION

WHATEVER ISSUES YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE,

WHATEVER YOU HOLD INSIDE YOU THAT'S NOT GOOD,

WHEN I FIRST MET DLYNN,

WHEN I FIRST STARTED IN THIS PROGRAM, I DIDN'T EVEN OWN A SUIT.

WHEN THE GUYS GET TOGETHER,

WHEN THEY GET ANNOUNCED AS MASTERS.

WHEN WE HAD THE OLDER WHITE BURGUNDY BEFORE, RIGHT?

WHEN YOU CAN'T SMELL ANYTHING, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

WHEN YOU DIG INTO A SPECIFIC REGION OF THE WORLD,

WHEN YOU GET TO THAT POINT

WHEN YOU HIT THAT POINT AND YOU'RE LOOKING AT,

WHEN YOU LOOK GOOD,

WHEN YOU STUDY WINE, YOU STUDY HISTORY,

WHEN YOU WORK IN A RESTAURANT, IF YOU HAVE A TOUGH TABLE

WHEN YOU'RE PREPARING FOR THIS, AND I'LL BE HONEST, IT'S TOUGH,

WHERE A PANEL OF THE MASTERS BARRAGE YOU

WHERE HE BELONGS. CONGRATULATIONS.

WHERE I ASKED MYSELF WHETHER I WAS ACTUALLY WHY I WAS DOING IT.

WHERE IT'S ALMOST LIKE AN OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE.

WHERE THE OLDEST VINEYARDS STILL MAKE WINE TODAY.

WHERE THERE IS AN ORANGE RIM.

WHERE THERE'S WINE AROUND YOU ALL THE TIME.

WHERE THEY JUST HAVE TO BE IT'S LIKE ANOTHER JOB.

WHERE WAS I... WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT?

WHERE YOU'RE, LIKE, "OH, MY GOD, I KNOW THAT SMELL."

WHETHER THE WINE'S FROM A WARM CLIMATE OR A COOL CLIMATE,

WHEW.

WHICH FEELS LIKE YOU'RE WALKING, LIKE, FROM HANDS ACROSS AMERICA,

WHICH I'VE NEVER DONE IN MY LIFE TILL THAT POINT THEN,

WHICH IS GREAT, YOU KNOW? THIS IS AWESOME.

WHICH IS ONE OF THE OLDEST,

WHICH IS THE HIGHEST SCORER.

WHICH OF THESE IS LONGER: SPECIAL RESERVE OR EXTRA RESERVE?

WHITE FLOWERS, WHITE LILIES. NO EVIDENCE OF OAK.

WHITE WINE. THE WINE IS CLEAR.

WHO HAD A TEACHER WHO HAD A TEACHER.

WHO HAVE TAKEN THE EXAM AND ARE STILL NOT M.S.'s?

WHO MAKES GREAT SAMURAI SWORDS?

WHO SUPPLEMENTED COLLEGE WITH RESTAURANT JOBS.

WHY DO WE KEEP FINDING OURSELVES IN THIS POSITION,

WHY DO YOU CUT YOUR GARDEN HOSE IN THE FIRST PLACE?

WHY DON'T PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO DRIVE IN THIS, MAN?

WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME HOW TO TASTE, THEN? I MEAN, SHIT, FUCK.

WHY THAT'S BAD WHY THAT'S

WHY THAT'S GOOD AND WHY IT'S BAD THAT WE'RE DOING THIS IS, LIKE,

WINE EXPERIENCEMAGAZINE HAD JUST NAMED ME

WINE FIVE, I WAS TORN, DUDE.

WINE IS BONE DRY.

WINE IS DAY BRIGHT,

WINE IS DRY. FULL BODY.

WINE IS WELL BALANCED, UH, WITH A MEDIUM PLUS LENGTH,

WINE NUMBER FOUR IS A RED WINE.

WINE NUMBER ONE, I'M LIKE, IS THIS PINOT GRIGIO,

WINE NUMBER THREE IS A CLEAR, STAR BRIGHT WHITE WINE.

WINE NUMBER THREE IS MORE OF A MEDIUM GOLD,

WINE NUMBER TWO IS A CLEAR, STAR BRIGHT WHITE WINE

WINE NUMBER TWO IS A...

WINE NUMBER TWO IS SWEETER THAN WINE NUMBER ONE.

WINE ON ITS OWN IS NOT A COMPLICATED THING.

WINE ONE IS A WHITE WINE, CLEAR STAR BRIGHT.

WINE ONE IS A WHITE WINE. THE WINE IS CLEAR. THE WINE IS DAY BRIGHT.

WINE SIX HAD TANNIN THAT RIPPED MY FACE OFF.

WINE VISCOSITY IS...

WINE'S CLEAN, DEVELOPING...

WINE'S DRY. MEDIUM PLUS BODY.

WINES TODAY MUST HAVE STORIES,

WITH GREEN REFLECTIONS, MOVING INTO A WATERY MENISCUS.

WITH HIS TESTIMONIALS THROUGH THE TEST.

WITH REGARDS TO IAN, DUSTIN, AND MYSELF,

WITH SOME OF THE MOST OBSCURE QUESTIONS

WITH THIS DAY TO DAY ROUTINE,

WITH THOSE CANDIDATES THAT YOU'RE GONNA BE TRAINING FROM NOW ON, MASTER. OKAY?

WITH THOSE GUYS RIGHT NOW, I'LL TELL YOU THAT, THOUGH.

WITHIN THE SAME TEN MINUTES,

WITHOUT A THOUGHT OF A FLASH CARD.

WITHOUT ALL THOSE PEOPLE AROUND, SO WE DO OUR THING HERE,

Woman: DUSTIN REALIZED HE DIDN'T HAVE AN I.D.

Woman: HERE. NOW YOU CAN DEFINITIVELY...

Woman: I POURED THE REDS, BUT

WONDERFUL BLACK SERVIETTE D****D OVER HIS FOREARM,

WOW. WOW, THIS IS CRAZY.

WRAPPING AROUND MY LEG AND GRIPPING ONTO ME,

YEAH, I DID IT.

YEAH, I JUST I JUST IT'S JUST INTERESTING.

YEAH, I KIND OF DON'T WANT TO DO THE WINE NOW.

YEAH, IT'S NICE TO BE HERE.

YEAH, LIKE, YOU, LIKE, LICK ROCKS,

YEAH, THEY HOUND EACH OTHER PRETTY HARD,

YEAH, WILLY WILLY WILLY SHARROT

YEAH?

YEAH. THE SPIT BUCKET'S GROSS.

YES, INDEED.

YOU ALWAYS WANT TO HAVE A CHANCE TO BE BETTER THAN YOU ARE,

YOU AND ME? HMM? DIDN'T I JUST SEE YOU A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO?

YOU CALLED PYRAZINES. I WAS LOOKING FOR PYRAZINES.

YOU CAN BET ON THEORY YOU CAN BET ON SERVICE, TOO

YOU CAN CLICK DOWN FIVE DOMINOES,

YOU CAN EITHER, YOU KNOW, HAVE THE SPIT CUPS OUT,

YOU CAN PICTURE THIS KIND OF DUSTY OLD LEATHER SMELL,

YOU CAN THEN STORE INFORMATION THERE.

YOU COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE ABOUT WINE.

YOU DID AN AWESOME JOB ON THAT THEORY, AND, UM,

YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE A SOMM.

YOU DON'T EVEN REALLY REMEMBER ANYTHING.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO STUDY THOSE BOOKS, SO THAT'S A GOOD THING, RIGHT?

YOU DON'T HEAR THE CROWD, YOU DON'T HEAR ANYTHING.

YOU DON'T JUST THROW UP YOUR HANDS, PACK YOUR BAGS, AND LEAVE.

YOU FEEL A LOT BETTER ON THAT BET IF SOMEBODY,

YOU FIND THIS AMUSING? THIS IS IT.

YOU GO BACK TO THE DESK FOR A QUICK SECOND.

YOU GUYS ARE ALL MY BEST FRIENDS, AND YOU UNDERSTAND.

YOU GUYS PUMPED? "WHOA, TEAM," ANYBODY?

YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THE WINES ARE, EVEN WHEN YOU THINK YOU DO.

YOU HAVE THREE WHITES, THREE REDS

YOU HAVE TO YOU HAVE TO FIND A GREAT SUPPORT GROUP, A MENTOR,

YOU HAVE TO BE A MASTER SOMMELIER AT ALL TIMES.

YOU HAVE TO BE INCREDIBLE AN INCREDIBLE TASTER,

YOU HAVE TO DEMONSTRATE COOL, CALM, COLLECT,

YOU HAVE TO DO THE WINE AFTER YOU DID THAT WHOLE BIT, MAN,

YOU HAVE TO FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY YOU HAVE

YOU HAVE TO STAY ON TOP OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE,

YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THE GEOGRAPHY OF IT,

YOU HAVE YOUR PASSPORT?

YOU HAVE... WHAT DID I FORGET?

YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW IT'S GONNA PLAY OUT.

YOU JUST GOT TASTING TO BANG ON NOW.

YOU JUST WANT TO GET IN THERE AND GET IT OVER WITH,

YOU KNOW HOW ROCKS OR MINERALS ARE A COMMON SMELL

YOU KNOW THAT YOUR SENSES AND YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF THE WINE

YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE WINE,

YOU KNOW WHY I LIKE PEARL JAM?

YOU KNOW, BRIAN USED TO BE... HE WAS KIND OF A COLORADO BOY.

YOU KNOW, HE WAS THERE IN MY TOWN, IN ASPEN,

YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA CHOOSE NOT TO GO OUT,

YOU KNOW, IF YOU TRY TO REMEMBER SOMETHING,

YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE WHEN THEY DON'T WANT TO DRINK THE WINE,

YOU KNOW, IT'S...

YOU KNOW, LIKE, OUR CUPS, OR BACK INTO A WINE GLASS.

YOU KNOW, RACHEL'S BEEN WATCHING ME DO THIS

YOU KNOW, SHE DESERVES A HUSBAND.

YOU KNOW, TASTING, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO

YOU KNOW, USUALLY WE TAKE OUR CLOTHES OFF,

YOU KNOW, WE... GOT TO GO HOME TO OUR WIVES,

YOU KNOW, YOU'VE JUST YOU'VE GOT TO STAY IN IT

YOU KNOW? I DO HAVE A WIFE, I'VE BEEN TOLD.

YOU LIKE THE LITTLE TRAP I LAID FOR YOU? YOU SURE FELL FOR IT.

YOU LIKE...?

YOU MISS A LOT OF A LOT OF LIFE MOMENTS GO BY

YOU PASSED THEORY. WE GOT THAT OUT OF THE WAY.

YOU PUNISHED YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU WENT TO THE OLD WORLD.

YOU THINK I'M GONNA WEAR A WRINKLED TIE?

YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT'S IN THE GLASS,

YOU USUALLY SEE ARE YOUR WINES SITTIN' THERE,

YOU WAKE UP, AND WHAT IS YOUR FIRST THOUGHT?

YOU WOULD PROBABLY LIKE YOUR WHITE WINE OR ROSEÉ WINE

YOU WOULD SAY, "THREE BACTERIAL DISEASES ARE,

YOU'RE A MASTER SOMMELIER AT THIS POINT.

YOU'RE A VERY GOOD TASTER. ALL THE THINGS ARE THERE.

YOU'RE CONFIDENT, YOU FEEL GOOD.

YOU'RE DESCRIBING THE STRUCTURE, THE BODY, THE ALCOHOL,

YOU'RE DOING EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, ALL RIGHT?

YOU'RE DOING EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.

YOU'RE DRIVING DOWN THIS ROAD,

YOU'RE EACH GONNA DO TWO WINES.

YOU'RE FOLLOWING SOME OF THE MOST DEDICATED, OBSESSED PEOPLE.

YOU'RE GOING THROUGH THE GRID.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A VERY, VERY DIFFICULT TIME

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME KIND OF FEELINGS,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BE WORKING WITH TASTING.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BE WORKING WITH THOSE, UH,

YOU'RE JUST MANIC. IT'S CRAZY.

YOU'RE LEARNING ABOUT THE HISTORY OF THE CULTURE, THE FOOD.

YOU'RE LEARNING ABOUT THE PEOPLE,

YOU'RE NOT GOING BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD.

YOU'RE NOT IRONING YOUR TIE.

YOU'RE NOT JUST LEARNING ABOUT THE G****S OR THE VINES,

YOU'RE WORKING SO HARD, PEOPLE TELL YOU, YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT.

YOU'VE GOT ABOUT EIGHT MINUTES TO DO THESE TWO WINES,

YOU'VE GOT HOW MANY DAYS LEFT THERE, CHAMP?

YOU'VE GOT THAT THING. YEAH. YOU'RE NOT QUITE OVER IT NOW, BUT YOU'RE GONNA BE THERE.

YOU'VE IMPROVED DRAMATICALLY. THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT.

YOU'VE NEVER SMELLED THAT BEFORE?

YOU'VE SLEPT, LIKE, 15 HOURS.

YOUR COMMENT, "THE ONLY THING THAT COMES TO MIND..."

YOUR HEAD LOOKS LIKE IT'S IN GOOD SHAPE, NICE AND SHAVED.

YOUR HUSBAND OR BOYFRIEND DISAPPEARS,

YOUR LIFE GETS BETTER AND BETTER AND BETTER,

YOUR NOSE IS NOT BAD ENOUGH."

YOUR TASTING, YOU STILL NEED TO TAKE AGAIN, UNFORTUNATELY.

YOUR TASTINGS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN VERY FLUID.

2009, RIESLING, HIGH QUALITY PRODUCER.

'01. I CALLED '01 TOO.

'KAY. WE ALL WORK OUR BUTTS OFF, SERIOUSLY.

"SAM! FRODO!" "MR. FRODO!"

[ chuckling ] SO HE'S THERE TODAY,

[ chuckling ] VERY INTRIGUING. WHY DO YOU

[ laughing ] IAN IS, UH... SITTING IN FRONT OF SKYPE, WAITING FOR ME TO CALL HIM.

[ sighs ] HOW ARE YOU?

[ speaking German ] [ speaking German phrase ]

[ speaking German ] [ speaking German phrase ]

[ tapping glass ] DAD HAS THE FLOOR.

ALCOHOL IS HIGH. HIGH.

All: DAD! DEAR OLD DAD.

All: DAD! I'M GETTING EMOTIONAL.

AND THEN IT JUST GOES FREE RUN GRAVITY DOWN. YEAH, DOWN THERE.

AND THEY'RE READY FOR YOU. AM I GOING THROUGH THE GRID?

AND WHAT DID YOU DECIDE? SMOKED MEAT.

ARE WE IN AGREEMENT THAT SIX IS AN OLDER WINE? YEAH.

ARE YOU DOING RELAXATION TECHNIQUES? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

ARE YOU STICKIN' WITH YOUR NORTHERN RHONE CALL, OR...? OF COURSE! I CAN'T CALL

CAN'T DO THAT. THAT HURT. [ chuckles ] HERE.

CANNED PEACHES. LITTLE BIT OF PEACH SLIGHTLY OXIDIZED WHITE PEACH.

CAUBLER'S TRYING TO TALK ME OUT OF IT. SHIT'S NORTHERN RHONE.

COME ON. NO, I'M OKAY.

CONGRATULATIONS. THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT.

DID YOU CALL ALBARIÑO? ALBARIÑO, YEAH.

DO YOU FEEL READY? I FEEL READY.

DO YOU WANT TO DO THE WINE? LET HIM ROCK THE WINE. LET IAN ROCK THE WINE.

DOES SHE WANNA STEP IT UP? YOU WANT THE WHOLE THING?

DOESN'T THAT SOUND GOOD? SOUNDS GOOD.

DON'T KNOW. YOU DON'T KNOW? YOU'RE NOT CONFIDENT?

DUDE, IT'S ALL GOOD. IT JUST GETS TO A POINT WHEN IT'S JUST IRRITATING.

FEEL GOOD. GLAD IT'S OVER?

FORTY YEARS! WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU,

GENTLEMEN, GOOD MORNING. GOOD MORNING.

GIVE YOU EVERYTHING I GOT. THAT'S WHAT I EXPECT.

GO WITH YOUR HEART, DUDE. I'M NOT GONNA CONTINUE.

GOOD NIGHT. ALL RIGHT, GOOD WORK. 'BYE.

GREEN PINEAPPLE. AND PALATE?

HAD A FEELING YOU WERE COMING FOR ME. WHY?

HE WAS MESSING WITH ME, AS USUAL. RIGHT.

HERE'S TO DAD. ONE, TWO, THREE.

HERE'S TO DAD. TO DAD.

HEY, BABY. HI.

HIGH. THIS IS VIOGNIER FROM FRANCE,

HOW DO WE LIKE IT, GENE? COLD!

I CALLED BAROLO. WHAT YEAR?

I CALLED FOUR AND FIVE BOTH ITALIAN, ACTUALLY. THAT WHAT YOU DID?

I CALLED RIOJA. DID YOU? I DIDN'T GET AMERICAN OAK.

I FEEL READY. YEAH.

I GOT G****FRUIT. I DIDN'T LOOK FOR IT. THEY HIT ME IN THE FACE.

I JUST WANT COLD WINE. NOW HE'S TRYING TO BRIBE US WITH FREE DRINKS!

I KNOW. HEY WE BRING IT ON EACH OTHER.

I THOUGHT IT WAS A FUN FLIGHT. IT'S DIABOLICAL.

I WANT YOU TO FUCKIN' GO FOR IT. OKAY, IT'S A RED WINE.

I WAS JUST REPEATING IT. WHY DON'T YOU FINISH IT UP?

I'LL BE NICE AND POLISHED UP FOR THE EXAM, THOUGH. EXCELLENT.

I'M ALL RIGHT, MAN. HOW YOU FEELIN'?

I'M CONFIDENT, BUT I DON'T KNOW. OKAY. FAIR ENOUGH.

IAN... IAN IS... IS TRACING MAPS AND...

IF YOU WANNA DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT. THE CHILDREN ARE ACTING UP.

IS IT NORTHERN? IT'S NORTHERN RHONE.

IS THIS CHENIN? I CALLED CHENIN ON WINE ONE.

IS THIS PO IS THIS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW? I DON'T KNOW. YOU TELL ME.

IT WAS SUPER LIMEY TO ME. I WANT TO GO PLAY FLAG FOOTBALL

IT'S A LITTLE SCRUFFLY TODAY. A LITTLE SCRUFFY TODAY?

IT'S EXACTLY THE WAY YOU NEED TO TASTE. FANTASTIC.

JUST DON'T MAKE IT HARDER THAN IT IS. THANK YOU.

LEMON CURD. REALLY RIPE LEMON, CANDIED LEMON.

LET'S LEAVE IT AT THAT FOR NOW. YOU CAN REVISIT IT OKAY, THAT'S NO PROBLEM.

MAYBE. LET ME TRY THAT. SEE, CO OO OLD. COLD.

MEDIUM MINUS. MEDIUM.

MEDIUM PLUS? DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE MY CALL?

MEDIUM PLUS. I'D CALL VISCOSITY HIGH ON THIS AS WELL.

NEBBIOLO. I CALLED NEBBIOLO.

NICE JOB. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME.

NO SIGNS OF OAK. LIGHT HINT OF OAK ON THE PALATE.

NO, IT'S ALL GOOD. NO, HE LIKES "DAD." HE KNOWS HE'S DAD.

NO, NO, NO. IF HE WANTS TO CONTINUE, HE CAN CALL IT. LET HIM ROCK THE WINE.

NO, THAT WOULD SUCK, WOULDN'T IT? THAT WOULD SUCK.

NO. WE GOT IT RIGHT. REALLY? COULD YOU SHOW ME ?

NOTE CARDS. FLASH CARDS.

OH, YOU READY FOR THIS? HELL YEAH, MAN. LET'S DO IT.

OHH! THANKS, JAY. YOU'RE WELCOME, BROTHER.

OKAY. LATER, BUDDY.

OKAY. I CALLED IT BAROLO. WINE SIX I CALLED BAROLO.

OTHERWISE IT'S ANOTHER YEAR. WANNA WAIT ANOTHER YEAR? NO.

PINK WINE. PINK WINE. WONDERFUL.

READY? YEP. WHEN YOU'RE READY, YOU'RE READY.

REALLY? WHAT'D YOU CALL IT?

REMEMBER, THIS IS THE MASTERS. RIGHT.

RIGHT? YEAH.

SIX, DID YOU REALLY SMELL AMERICAN OAK? NO. [ chuckles ]

SO, HOW ARE YOU THIS WEEK? I'M OKAY.

TAKE IT HOME. OKAY, THERE'S MEAT ON THIS WINE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. YOU'RE WELCOME.

THANKS. HERE'S YOUR TIE AND YOUR PIN, SIR.

THAT SUCKS,DUDE. DUDE, SHIT!

THAT WAS A CRUEL FLIGHT. IT WAS.

THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. YES, I'M READY.

THAT'S SO REFRESHING, ALL RIGHT, EXCELLENT.

THE NOSE OF THE WINE IS CLEAN... CLEAN, YOUTHFUL.

THERE'S A LOT OF MAKING FUN OF EACH OTHER. IT'S LIKE WINE GEEKS UNITE.

THIS IS CONDRIEU. I THINK THIS WINE IS FROM FRANCE.

THIS IS HELPFUL. YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY.

THIS IS WHAT THIS WINE IS. IT'S NEW WORLD, CHARD. YEP.

TO TO CELSIUS? COLD.

TO DAD? TO DAD.

TWO AND THREE. DID I FLIP FLOP 'EM?

VERY COLD. COLD.

VERY. HOW'D YOU THINK YOU DID THERE?

VISCOSITY IS... MEDIUM PLUS.

WE'LL DO IT AGAIN. WE'LL DO IT AGAIN.

WE'RE TOTALLY LOST NOW. WE'RE MORE CONFUSED THAN BEFORE.

WELL DONE. APPRECIATE IT.

WELL DONE. THANKS, MAN.

WELL, HAVE A SEAT. THANK YOU.

WELL, THIS WINE IS DRY. THE WINE IS DRY.

WHAT FLIGHT, SIR? UH, 305.

WHAT?! OH, MY GOD!

WHAT'D YOU CALL IT? ONE, I CALLED BEAUJOLAIS.

WHAT'D YOU CALL THAT? I CALLED IT RIOJA.

WHO IS IT? OGIER.

WINE ONE IS CLARE VALLEY RIESLING. GOOD.

WINE THREE. UH, WINE THREE, I CALLED ALBARIÑO.

Woman: EVERYBODY STRUGGLED WITH THIS. REALLY?

YEAH, I'M STRESSED OUT. HAVE YOU TALKED TO ANYONE?

YEAH, WATER HOSE. FRESH CUT WATER HOSE. I SAY THAT ALL THE TIME.

YEAH. DIDN'T WE HAVE A VERY HARD CONVERSATION?

YEAH. WELL, MAYBE NOT TODAY.

YEAH. YEAH? HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT?

YOU CAN'T FRESHLY CUT A GARDEN HOSE. JUST SAY SYNTHETIC RUBBER.

YOU KNOW HOW YOU SPELL COLD, SON? C O L D.

YOU KNOW WHAT CONVERSION IS? PARDON?

YOU READY? READY AS I'M GONNA BE.

YOU'VE GOT TEN DAYS. ALL RIGHT.

...WE CALLED COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS ON THREE WINES.

'CAUSE HE IS GOING TO WANT TO JUST POUND FLASH CARDS,

'CAUSE I THOUGHT YOU DID A GREAT JOB.

'CAUSE I'M ROOMIN' WITH CAUBLE.

'CAUSE ONE OF US CAN'T BE RIGHT,

'CAUSE SHE IS, UH...

'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY YOU CAN EXPLAIN TO A GUEST.

'CAUSE THE THIRD ONE IS A CHARDONNAY.

'CAUSE THERE'S ENOUGH STRESS

'CAUSE TWO OF US ARE HAPPY FOR THAT PERSON,

"AW, SAM."

"DAMING" IT MEANS THAT YOU JUST SMELL IT,

"HONEY, IF YOU DON'T PASS IT THIS TIME, WE NEED TO TALK."

"I WILL START THE CLOCK WHEN YOU TOUCH YOUR FIRST WINE.

"IS HE ALWAYS LIKE THIS?" IT'S LIKE, "YEAH, HE IS."

"IT'S BEEN AN HONOR," WHICH IT HAS.

"OH, BRIAN'S GONNA COME UP AND CALL THE SAME WINES! WE'RE GONNA FEEL GREAT!"

"OH, HE MUST BE A NATURAL WINE TASTER."

"OH, I KNOW THIS HORSE, I KNOW THAT JOCKEY. THEY'RE GONNA DO GOOD."

"OKAY, THAT'S WHAT JASMINE SMELLS LIKE.

"THIS IS SOMETHING THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE CAN'T DO,"

"WELL, BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN GRUÜNER.

"WELL, IT HAS A LEMON PEEL NOTE."

"WELL, THANK YOU FOR COMING HERE. HOW DO YOU FEEL?"

"YOU CAN'T REMEMBER THAT FLASH CARD."

[ all laughing ]

[ applause ]

[ breathes audibly ]

[ cheers and applause ]

[ deep breath ] CRUSHED APPLES... UNDERRIPE GREEN MANGO.

[ dramatic Australian accent ] THE REGIONS OF ALSACE LORRAINE

[ exhales heavily ] UH, FALLING APART HERE.

[ faux Australian accent ] HEY, MATE, STAY FOCUSED.

[ faux Australian accent ] HEY, MATE, YOU WANT ANOTHER WINE,

[ German accent ] WE START WITH THE... [ speaks German phrase ]

[ imitating hobbits ] "I LOVE YOU, SAM." "I LOVE YOU, FRODO."

[ imitating Pearl Jam lyrics ]

[ inhales deeply ]

[ inhales sharply ] ALCOHOL.

[ laughing ]

[ laughing ]

[ laughing ] OH, MY GOD!

[ laughing ] YEAH, I DID.

[ normal voice ] THIS IS FUN STUFF.

[ reciting quietly ]

[ reciting quietly ]

[ shouting and chattering ]

[ shouting and cheering ]

[ sighs ] UH, WHEN DUSTIN AND I PASSED,

[ speaking French ]

[ speaking German ]

[ speaking German ]

[ speaking German ]

[ speaking Italian ]

[ speaks German word ] DID I SAY THAT?

[ tearful, emotional laughter ]

[1] PIERCE'S DISEASE, [2] CROWN GALL, [3] BACTERIAL BLIGHT."

[EXHALES] FLAILING HERE. UM...

[INHALES SHARPLY] WHOO!

[LAUGHING] YOU MADE IT. ALL THAT HARD WORK.

♪ 'CAUSE I WANNA KNOW IT'S RIGHT ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I WANT YOU

♪ ALL THE ANSWERS YOU HAVE ♪

♪ ALL THE ANSWERS YOU HAVE ♪

♪ AND I'VE WATCHED YOU GROW ♪

♪ AND STUCK IN MY HEAD

♪ AND UNEARTH YOUR FATE

♪ BOTH WRONG, YET BOTH RIGHT ♪

♪ BOTH WRONG, YET BOTH RIGHT ♪

♪ BUT I'LL STAY HERE AND FIGHT ♪

♪ BUT NIGHT ALWAYS FALLS

♪ BUT YOUR DOUBT STILL SUSTAINS ♪

♪ DRINK WITH ME, TALK TO ME ♪

♪ FILL UP OUR CUPS

♪ I CONTEMPLATE MY REASONS ♪

♪ I HOPE THAT YOU KNOW

♪ I KICK MYSELF FOR BALKING ♪

♪ I MIGHT JUST BE DEMENTED

♪ I'M FINE ON THE FLOOR

♪ I'M FINE ON THE FLOOR ♪

♪ I'M NOT DONE BEING YOURS ♪

♪ LET'S WORK PAST THE PAST ♪

♪ LIVE IN WHITE WALLS

♪ OBSESSION IS THE REASON ♪

♪ PLEASE DRINK WITH ME NOW ♪

♪ SUN SHINES SOME DAYS

♪ TELL ME YOUR SCORES

♪ THAT I LAY AWAKE IN BED ♪

♪ THE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING ♪

♪ THE LAST THING AT NIGHT ♪

♪ THERE'S NO BLACK OR WHITE ♪

♪ THERE'S NO BLACK OR WHITE ♪

♪ UNLATCH THE GATE

♪ WE MUST TALK SOME MORE

♪ WE MUST TALK SOME MORE

♪ WHEN I SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT I WANT YOU ♪

♪ WILL BE QUESTIONED TONIGHT ♪

♪ WILL BE QUESTIONED TONIGHT ♪

♪ WITHOUT YOU I GET LONELY ♪

♪ YOU CAN SLEEP ON MY BED ♪

♪ YOU CAN SLEEP ON MY BED ♪

♪ YOU DREAM LIFE IN COUNTRYSIDE ♪

♪ YOU'RE PERFECTLY FLAWED

♪ YOUR POTENTIAL REMAINS

♪ YOUR VINTAGE IS RARE