Wish Dragon Edit

A future that my dad worked really hard for.

A giant chariot made of steel and glass!

A giant metal bird?

A giant pile of gold!

A girl? That's why you're acting crazy?

A lonely boy waits after school. Me.

A wish! Why didn't you just say so?

Actually, I no longer rep products that use animal testing.

Actually, Li Na, there's something I need to tell you.

Again.

Again.

Ah, a young man of means, I see. Reminds me of myself.

Ah, look at him, all grown up and working hard.

Ah, the spoils of war on display?

Ah, there it is! Down there.

Ah, well, where are my manners? Sit, sit, sit!

Ah, yeah, I can see you're busy.

Ah, you must be the conquering type. I see that killer instinct in your eyes.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! My friend needs me.

Ah! Whoa!

Ah...

Aiya.

Aiya. She's late again.

All day?

All I ever wanted was my dad.

All I wanted was you.

All of them.

All right, Din. Here we go.

All right, here we go. Stand back and it shall be so!

All right, scales. Oh! Roller skates!

All these masters,

All these years,

All they talk about is their own business, how much money they make.

All this time worried you were drugged out in some internet cafe. It was a girl.

Allow me to get you a closer look, sir.

Am I sure? You've been telling me to make this wish since we met.

Am I... am I dead?

An army of terracotta warriors! Why are you wasting a wish on some girl?

And all 234.

And awaited a great procession to welcome me.

And besides, we haven't had guests in, well, a couple hours!

And finally return back to heaven,

And frankly you're not doing a good job.

And he's the one who took you to the Pearl Tower.

And I have chosen you! For you are pure of heart.

And I know my first wish.

And I still haven't ridden in one of those metal birds,

And I think I was able to make some really important... connections.

And I was the best human ever!

And I'm trying my best, trying to make everyone proud,

And I'm trying my best, trying to make everyone proud,

And it pains me to inform you, not really, I can't make people fall in love with you.

And leave this wretched world.

And let nothing stand in my way.

And more monuments than any lord who had come before me.

And more of this!

And Mrs. Chu would sell those roasted yams.

And my son, I sent off to win treasure.

And no air conditioning. No air conditioning in heaven!

And no amount of gold can ever buy that.

And now her father, Mr. Wang, come to the stage.

And now, everyone will bow to me.

And now, I've left you with nothing.

And shown us that you understand the meaning of life.

And the car.

And the personal assistant who has to do everything I ask for the next 24 hours.

And then she drove away and I never saw her again.

And to be honest,

And what's the family business?

And wish for the same thing as every other master,

And with scales, some grass, some clouds.

And yet,

And you are the last one.

And you waste it on a friend?

And you, sir, are my master!

And your stupid parade in the sky.

And, well,

Anyways, where are we going?

Apology accepted.

Are worth more than anything I ever possessed.

Are you gonna cry? Are we gonna see tears now?

Are you joking?

Are you okay?

Are you sure?

Are you telling me a teenage boy out fought two full grown men?

Are you...

As I laid on my deathbed,

As you wish, sir.

Back?

Back? To serve another ten masters?

Be honest.

Because the ghost of Clucky will always haunt you!

Because the minute Li Na finds out who you are, this will all fall apart.

Before they're free to enter the spirit world.

Believe me.

Besides, there are no shrimp chips there,

Blow your trumpet all you want. It won't make any difference at all!

Bon appetit!

But as a punishment.

But did you order the...

But first, there's something I need to show you.

But how about somewhere else?

But I fixed our kite.

But I have to go.

But it's been nice. Kind of like you were back.

But only under one condition.

But that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Of course she'll care.

But the boy did leave something behind.

But the truth is, I think we might be happier if...

But the whole time it feels like something is missing.

But there was none.

But you're older now.

But, Dad, don't you ever miss those days?

But, you know, giant and glowing, and super glamorous.

But, you've been waiting 1,000 years just to get through those gates.

But... no matter how hard I try, I just feel like...

But... why did you lie?

Bye, Din.

Call an ambulance! You're gonna be okay.

Calling Mr. Wang!

Can I help you?

Car.

Careful what you don't wish for.

Carefully, just like this.

Certain expectations I have to meet.

Come along, Li Na.

Come here.

Come in.

Come on. This way.

Complete? I haven't finished. I haven't finished my tenth master.

Cool.

Couple of rules. I can't time travel, I can't kill,

Crap, ten o'clock? My mom's getting off work.

Crap!

Dad, are you okay?

Dad!

Dad?

Dad? Dad!

Dad.

Dan, you're such a funny guy.

Dan! You know what?

Dan?

Delicious.

Demand another table, claiming it's far superior.

Did somebody order dumpling soup?

Did you just steal my money?

Did you know Din puts flowers on Clucky's grave every year?

Did you know that shrimp chips

Did you order the dumpling soup?

Din,

Din, Din!

Din, I brought you some...

Din, I...

Din, I'll grant your wish.

Din, I'm going to ask you a question.

Din, I'm working late tonight.

Din, up now!

Din, what trouble have you started now?

Din, why are you asking silly questions? Eat.

Din, why is there a pile of broken teacups in the...

Din!

Din!

Din!

Din! Din?

Din! Hello? Where are the teacups?

Din? Be careful.

Din.

Din.

Din.

Din.

Din.

Din...

Din...

Din...

Do you remember when we lived in that old shikumen?

Do you understand?

Do you wish for a suit of armor made of solid gold?

Do you wish for the strength of 1,000 men? Boom!

Doesn't hold a candle to the real thing, though.

Doing my best.

Don't actually have any shrimp in the ingredients?

Don't be embarrassed. When I first saw that, I almost fell over.

Don't close. Please, don't close.

Don't come out if you're going to disrespect me.

Don't ignore me when I'm talking, peasant.

Don't let the boy get it!

Don't lie to me! Staying out late! Skipping school!

Don't worry. We got this.

Don't you know who I am?

Done and done. Now, onto that final wish.

Dragon thingy?

Drinking alcohol?

Easy. Just wish for your very own personal army!

Eat metal, dirt bag!

Eat. Food for your brain.

Enter the girl, Li Na, throwing dumplings and defending my honor. Then we...

Even if it takes all day.

Every time I try to make casual conversation,

Every Wish Dragon must serve 10 masters

Everything is going to plan!

Everything that matters.

Everything would end.

Exactly.

Excellent work, peasant boy.

Excellent.

Excellent. I see where this is going.

Excuse me, I... I didn't see you there, young man.

Eyes ahead, Na Na.

Finally, I'm saved.

Fine, 24 hours.

Fine!

Fine!

Fine!

Fine.

Fine. Do exactly what I say.

Fine. How about a temporary version, just for today?

Fine. If you're not gonna send me back, I'll go myself!

Fly, little Clucky!

Follow me.

For heaven's sake, have you even looked at the teapot?

For I am LongZhu!

For nothing.

For the finest carriage in all the land?

For the first time, it feels like I have a little wisdom to offer.

Foreclosure? Please, sir. I'm begging you.

Forgive our incompetence, sir.

Friends forever, day by...

Friends forever...

From our old neighborhood?

From the streets of Shaolin, kung fu like you've never seen it before.

Funny?

Gangsters. Probably out to kidnap us for a ransom.

Get away from me, you ghost chicken.

Get where?

Getting a personal carriage.

Gimme that.

Gimme! Gimme! Mine! Mine!

Give me that teapot right now.

Give me the gold, and I can have some of that good life.

Go to school. Stop planning things.

Go to your room.

Good afternoon. I'd like to inquire about a customer.

Good enough to get into the birthday party of the famous Li Na Wang?

Good evening, gentlemen.

Good evening, Li Na.

Good evening, sir.

Good evening, sorry to keep you waiting.

Good job.

Good news, Long.

Good one, Dan.

Good quality leather, excellent suit, Rolex.

Good.

Good.

Got it. Game face.

Grandma! It's Din!

Great master.

Great Wall of China!

Great, dear. What would you say about being the new face of Shin Makeup?

Great. Dreams crushed. We're done here, right?

Greetings, great master!

Greetings, great master.

Ha!

Hand over the teapot, kid.

Happy birthday, it's your best friend Din! No, that's too strong.

Have I made myself clear?

Have we met before?

He came home a hero.

He's going to fail you.

He's so cute. He even cries a little.

He's working hard, just like we are.

Heck, I'm sure everyone will want to be my friend then.

Hello, Mother. Sure is hot out tonight, isn't it?

Hello?

Hello? Hello? Ah, there we go.

Hello...

Her fridge is bigger than this apartment.

Here you are.

Here, I brought you something special.

Here, take this.

Here, you got a little something on your face.

Here, you look like you could use a good, home cooked meal.

Here.

Here.

Here.

Here.

Here.

Here's the assignment.

Hey Mom, if you could wish for anything, what would it be?

Hey, boss! I got the teapot!

Hey, Dad.

Hey, Din, what do you think about a little race?

Hey, Din.

Hey, do you remember that promise we made?

Hey, I got an idea. Why don't we listen to the tiny orchestra while we wait?

Hey, Li Na. Happy birthday.

Hey, little buddy. You're so cute. You have family? Are you hungry?

Hey, little fella! I'll name you Teddy.

Hey, look at that! It's Mrs. Chu!

Hey, Mom. Here's the groceries you wanted.

Hey, Mom. So, uh, surprise!

Hey, stop rushing me.

Hey, that doesn't belong to you.

Hey!

Hi, Dad.

Hi, good evening.

Hi, it's so great to see you again.

Hi, Mrs. Chu. It's Li Na Wang.

Hi.

Hmm. Good. Now hurry up. You're gonna be late.

Hold on, I can fix this.

Hold on, is that...

Hop on.

Hot!

How are we gonna do this? What am I gonna say?

How are you?

How did you get in there?

How do they fit in this metal box?

How do you like them apples, huh?

How does it feel to be 19, dear?

How have I been here for an hour? I gotta go!

How'd it go? Um...

However you do it.

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh? Oh, no!

Huh? Oh!

Huh? Oh!

Huh? Oh.

I am a god.

I am a god.

I am a magical Wish Dragon,

I am not crying. I am mourning.

I am your mother! I know when something is wrong.

I appreciate you trying to make this place interesting,

I arrived at the gates to the spirit world

I awaited the parade of loyal subjects and loving family.

I believe you've misunder...

I can allow you to speak with a loved one

I can hear you.

I can see my whole life laid out ahead of me,

I can't afford a personal carriage, which is why we were taking the bus.

I can't believe you didn't explain what a toilet is.

I can't make people fall in love. Why would I make someone your friend?

I cannot intervene. You're not my master until you have sole possession.

I command you to throw this kid off.

I demand you open this gate!

I demand you open this!

I did not know that.

I didn't get your name.

I didn't sign up for this. If you made your last wish, we... Oh, no.

I didn't wish for... Hey, that's not fair.

I don't care about that.

I don't have time. I'm not here to be your friend...

I don't know the meaning of life. But the things you care about,

I don't know what else to do.

I don't know why I'm letting it get to me.

I don't meet those expectations.

I don't need gold.

I don't normally move this fast, but...

I don't understand. That worked on all 17 of my wives.

I got you a present. You still like kites?

I gotta earn extra cash for this thing I'm working on.

I guess it didn't work.

I had a million friends when I was human. Oh, no.

I had a really wonderful time tonight,

I had all the wealth and land and power, and everyone loved me for it.

I had to send my assistant to half the jewelers in Shanghai.

I hate this place.

I have a family and a respons...

I have been failing.

I have something more important to wish for.

I have to go, Din.

I haven't explained everything. Down, please.

I heard one traffic jam lasted three weeks.

I just came to apologize.

I just need to reconnect with Li Na. She won't care if I'm poor.

I just want to say,

I just wish I could keep our promise.

I just wish...

I just... don't know what else to do.

I knew it. You've been skipping school and lying to your mother.

I know what you did.

I know what you were trying to do.

I know what you're gonna say.

I know what you're trying. Not gonna work.

I know, there was a parade and everything, but... you had one more wish.

I know.

I learned from a young age that gold is power.

I mean, Dumpling House. I mean, restaurants in general.

I must look totally crazy.

I need that teapot.

I never needed any of that.

I promise, I can pay you back, sir.

I regret nothing. You were delicious.

I remember this alley.

I said, "If you don't like garlic, eat something else!"

I should've listened to my mother.

I spent 1,000 years in that teapot. I can spend hours in your traffic.

I summon you!

I take it back.

I think so too.

I thought maybe he could make time.

I told you this wouldn't end well.

I tried to save it, but the business is bankrupt.

I want my friend back.

I want to talk about your future.

I want you to focus on your future.

I wanted you to have everything.

I was born into royalty.

I was imprisoned and sent down to Earth

I was just doing a little side job.

I was just trying to...

I was worried that if you found out it was, well, just me,

I wasn't planning to. I just...

I wish for enough puppies to open a pet store.

I wish I had longer legs.

I wish I knew how to fight.

I wish...

I would have her executed for mocking royalty.

I wouldn't expect your tiny, reptilian brain to understand

I, uh, had a really big lunch.

I, uh...

I...

I...

I...

I...

I...

I... I don't know what happened.

I... I'm just trying to be...

I'll call you later.

I'll fix that later.

I'll give you all the gold you want.

I'll have a shoot scheduled ASAP.

I'll have him sign the contract.

I'll have two to go.

I'll tell you.

I'm a loved one. I can't hear you. You're very far away.

I'm afraid that's not going to happen.

I'm Din.

I'm done asking nicely.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

I'm fine. Thank you for asking.

I'm going to fix everything.

I'm gonna go get sta...

I'm happy for you, kiddo. Your future is all set.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm Li Na.

I'm more focused than I've ever been in my entire life.

I'm ready for my third wish.

I'm sorry for being so rude. I don't think I got your name earlier.

I'm sorry I can't give you a better life.

I'm sorry, do I...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Do I know you?

I'm sorry. I must look totally crazy.

I'm sure he'll be here any second.

I'm terribly sorry, young man, but I need that teapot.

I'm the one who did that whole kung fu thing.

I'm thinking about starting one of those...

I'm your master now.

I'm...

I've been around for 1,000 years. I know how humans work. Not you.

I've been bowing to others my entire life.

I've been thinking about my future.

I've never seen so many arms and legs.

If only I had a magical dragon that could fly.

If we could have the birthday girl and her father come to the dance floor...

If you could wish for anything.

If you're not gonna let me ride you, we catch the bus.

If you're not gonna say something helpful, don't say anything.

Ignore her and she's yours.

Important.

Impossible.

In that same old shikumen?

In your honor.

Including yours. Use it.

Incoming!

Inflatable bras, the future of fashion. I want you to be a part.

Instead, the gods transformed me into a Wish Dragon.

Introducing the great master!

Is that a...

It contains everything you need.

It shall be so!

It shall be so.

It was 1,000 punches a minute. Kicks everywhere.

It was the only way.

It's been a long time and...

It's great, Dad. Put it up in the front window.

It's just not the same without hot sauce.

It's just...

It's late and, uh, we should have dinner.

It's like, I can see my whole life laid out ahead of me,

It's not a little man. It's television.

It's okay, Long. I get emotional too just talking about it.

It's okay, Mom.

It's okay. I'll be your first and only friend. Come here.

It's only a matter of time before we find him.

It's real.

It's so nice to meet someone from a respectable family

It's there?

It's time for the entertainment portion.

It's true.

It's your wish, Din.

It's...

Just as much as last year.

Just don't tell Li Na about any of this.

Just grant it, and you can go back to your spirit world

Just grant the wish, Long.

Just in time. Your father will be here any second.

Just look at him with his mindless grin.

Just tell her the truth.

Just tell me the truth. Whatever it is, I can help.

Just visiting an old friend.

Just...

Just... just one night out of the whole year,

Keep my five star rating.

Kick him!

Kid, be realistic.

Kind of...

Know what? I don't want to know.

Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention here.

Ladies and gentlemen, time for a treat.

Last delivery.

Leftovers.

Let go, Din.

Let it go!

Let me guess.

Let me recommend the all time favorite.

Let me stop you. Did I tell you just how respectable my family is?

Let me think, a golden chamber pot, a palace made entirely of jade,

Let's have arrangements made. Forgive my manners.

Let's make a promise to be best friends forever.

Li Na, everything's going to be all right. I'm gonna go talk with Din.

Li Na, I really do want to say I'm sorry.

Li Na, listen to me.

Li Na, this table simply won't do. Allow me to show you another one.

Li Na, we've been over this already.

Li Na! There you are.

Li Na?

Li Na? What are you doing here?

Like one of those guys with the fancy suit,

Like...

Listen carefully.

Listen to me. I am out of time. I need...

Literally anything else.

Little Din with a college degree. Can you believe it?

Long,

Long, I summon you.

Long, I'm not gonna waste a wish on traffic!

Long, I'm supposed to be from a respectable family.

Long, Long, I can't see you!

Long, make some smoke. Lights.

Long, no!

Long, this is bus. Come on.

Long, we gotta go! Hurry! Let's go!

Long, we have a special bond that runs deeper than money or status.

Long, what are you doing?

Long, what are you doing? You're supposed to be in the spirit world.

Long, you look good as a human. Now, walking can be tricky, but...

Long!

Long!

Long!

Long!

Long?

Long?

Long?

Look at me. How did I become a piñata?

Look what I found!

Look who decided to show up.

Look who's here! You're late.

Look, Din, you're gonna have to use...

Look, I know what you're thinking.

Look, Li Na.

Look. Rich people never pay attention to anyone else.

Lucky number eight!

Madame, your table.

Magnificent!

Make me rich.

Make sure it's what you really want.

May I take your order?

Maybe a run!

Maybe make a difference down here.

Maybe.

Mmm!

Mom, you can't.

Mr. Huang, cut it out.

Mr. Wang, come on down!

Mr. Wang?

Mr. Wang? What are you doing here?

Mr. Wang.

My dad insists on "only the best."

My dad's always late.

My daughters were married to the finest families,

My point is there's a simple solution to every problem in the world.

My real name isn't Dan.

My subjects were loyal...

Na Na!

Na Na! Well, what do you think? It's too much, isn't it? I'll get another.

Never been so insulted.

Nice legs.

No Dan or any of that.

No one will be selling anything if we don't find that teapot.

No one's going to get hurt, but I need those...

No way!

No way. I found it. Whoa!

No, bad Teddy! Bad boy!

No, Clucky! You're dead.

No, I can't! I have to go back.

No, it's freezing. You coming down with something?

No, Mom. I was just...

No, no, I said princeling.

No, no, no, I didn't mean that.

No, no, no, it's not like that, Long.

No, no, no!

No, no, you first got to multiply the top by the bottom.

No, no.

No, no. No trouble at all.

No, really, I...

No, we're not.

No, you're very much alive.

No!

No!

No! No! No! No!

No! Oh, my God. What happened to you?

No.

No.

No. What? I'm shocked. I'm stunned.

Nonsense. Nonsense. It's my pleasure.

Not a word.

Not as a reward,

Not fair.

Not gonna work, Din.

Not good enough?

Not good.

Not like I'm not gonna see you for another...

Not to worry. Here's one the peasant folk love.

Nothing, Mom.

Nothing.

Now that we got that out of the way, onto the important part.

Now, everyone, keep your eyes on the stage as I...

Now, follow me.

Now, get him, Dan. Kick him right in his stupid face!

Now, I've been stuck...

Now, now, stop distracting him!

Now, repeat after me. "I wish for..." You're not talking.

Now, when choosing a palace, it is very important that...

Now, will you be paying with cash or...

Of course.

Oh no!

Oh yeah, sure, I'll dance with you.

Oh, a peasant boy. Well, this'll be easy.

Oh, a peasant child.

Oh, boy.

Oh, can you breathe fire?

Oh, come on.

Oh, gosh. Um...

Oh, handsome?

Oh, hey, Ms. Din. Even if you ace the final...

Oh, I don't know if that's such a good idea.

Oh, I'm...

Oh, jeez, are you okay?

Oh, my God!

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. Just... studying.

Oh, really, Dan.

Oh, so just 'cause I said "wish," now I'm stuck with these kung fu powers?

Oh, uh, did I? Na Na, I'm sorry. You know, I...

Oh, uh.

Oh, uh...

Oh, Wei! Wei, Wei, Wei, Wei!

Oh, well, I've actually been feeling really confused lately...

Oh, wow. Oh! It's like a time machine up here.

Oh, yeah. Now, these are my kind of people.

Oh, you got in.

Oh! Ah!

Oh! That's right.

Oh! Uh, yes, it was.

Oh! Uh...

Oh.

Oh. I, uh, stayed late for study group, as usual.

Oh. Um.

Oh. Well, uh, I'll just... ...go around.

Okay,

Okay, but seriously, Mom,

Okay, Din, let go.

Okay, Din, tomorrow's the big day.

Okay, Din. You can do this.

Okay, hurry up with those dumplings. You, step aside.

Okay, I... I just...

Okay, in the teapot. Everything's normal.

Okay, it's her birthday. I'm planning something special.

Okay, just... calm down.

Okay, party time.

Okay, raise your paper.

Okay, thank you for your help!

Okay, uh, next up, 235 Gao Shue Street.

Okay, we're here.

Okay, what's the wish?

Okay, you got me. Where are the hidden cameras?

Okay, you see her?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Here.

Okay. Look, peasant boy.

On the other side of China!

One of the most beloved, respected lords in history! You know why?

One touch and you're done, kid.

One wish down, two to go. We could be done by lunch.

Only the owner of the teapot can see me.

Ooh, sparks.

Ooh!

Ooh!

Open the door.

Or anything else

Or the legs of a giraffe. Feels good up here, right?

Ow.

Parade?

Peasant food, no doubt.

People will treat me with respect.

Perfect!

Perfect.

Personal assistant.

Piles of gold.

Playing hard to get, I see.