Submarine Edit

A gauntlet, so to speak.

A girl with the exact same frame and the exact same hair.

A key sign of one of his downturns.

A lot to take in.

A playground bedecked with flowers.

A renegade,

A shell on which a decrepit picture show

A solitary samurai.

A testimony to the love felt for Oliver Tate

Aargh!

Absolutely.

Actually, I'll see you tomorrow, OK.

Actually, my mum's not well at the moment.

After his dismissal, he spent several days in bed,

After that, I started slipping choice phrases into our conversation.

All men do, unless you're gay. Are you gay?

All right there, buddy? Great.

All right, take your time.

All right, well...

All right, whose note is that?

All right.

All the girls liked him.

Also, I think you should know, I've found someone else.

An opportunity for self discovery.

And admit that you're in fact a gaylord.

And by being in balance with the colours around them,

And Dad didn't feel emotionally ready.

And does Mum mind?

And er...it was very effective, actually.

And I could relax around it and be in it.

And I could see why someone like her would go for someone like him.

And I didn't want to look weak or things to change.

And I look traumatised and say...

And I want you to know we really appreciate you trying to help.

And if it's OK with everyone, that's the last we'll say about it.

And if you asked any intelligent bloody writer,

And in her youth even dreamed of being an actress.

And in the Top Trumps of parental problems,

And introduced a segment called Mysteries Of The Deep.

And Jordana's a slut.

And let them do their business,

And listen, I made you a cassette recording.

And my parents' marriage started falling apart.

And never knew quite what to do with his hands.

And no one can do a thing about it.

And one boy even pushed her into a pond.

And she asks, "Do I know you?"

And she'll admire the scenery and she'll buy soup for homeless people.

And she'll never burn my leg here again.

And swim inside me in a tiny submersible machine.

And taking gateway drugs in shopping malls.

And the loss felt by his friends...

And the spouts had turned mushy and out of focus.

And then get a towel and bloody dry yourself off, and go about your day.

And then resume my duties as the best boyfriend in the world.

And therefore capable of anything.

And this is Nietzsche, one of the most influential philosophers of modern time.

And this is The Catcher In The Rye, a great modern American novel.

And wait till the sky catches up with my mood.

And we're getting more and more intimate.

And when she turns around, I see her face is nothing like Jordana's.

And you can replace the stuff that was in your bag.

And, finally, my glorious resurrection.

And, frankly, by Wales on the whole.

And, if caught, they do become property of the Crown.

Any human who found themselves at that level,

Are salon fresh before impregnating them with a ninja love child.

Are you all right?

Are you all right? Come on.

Are you asking me to come round and have sex with you?

Are you coming?

Are you making this up?

Are you planning on getting dressed today?

Are you with us?

Aren't you angry?

As his shirt blossomed with blood poppies.

As in, I've got stuff to do. Busy.

As usual, Dad drops me 800 yards from school.

Awkward, of course.

Because Jordana's dog had just been hit by a train.

Because she's overweight and won't accept notes in class.

Because there's only two possible outcomes.

Because they've forgotten, right?

Before I answer that, I just want to check one thing.

Behind me a vigil that's been repeated all over the country,

Being fiddled with.

Blood.

Bring a Polaroid camera and a diary.

But did you prefer it long?

But he was an uneasy screen presence

But I figure you'll only probably believe me

But I just wanted you to know that I'm open to talking whenever you want.

But I really laughed. I thought it was very charming.

But if ever you have serious feelings

But in answer to your question,

But instead of looking embarrassed, he screamed with laughter and pointed.

But it probably won't matter when you're my age.

But it's been two months since Jordana last spoke to me.

But no fish could live down there.

But no human can.

But now I think of it, she did mention her hair the other day.

But once... I ripped my vest off in front of a woman

But there's something in it.

But this gauntlet is also an opportunity.

But we can learn from it. I've learned from it.

But we're going to talk about what you've done.

But what she meant was, yes.

But you know the rules. Up you come, read it out.

But your mother informs me that you have a girlfriend.

But, unless things improve,

Bye bye.

Bye.

Calling an unhealthy turd onto the tarmac.

Can hear within the ultrasonic frequency.

Can I have a word, please, in private, without him?

Can you just get off my shoulders?

Can you tell your mother to hurry up? I'll be waiting in the road.

Can you turn the tap off, please?

Cancer beats potential infidelity.

Candlelit vigils.

Catch. Straight into the hands.

Challenging one another's bourgeois assumptions of what was acceptable.

Cheap shit.

Cheers.

Chip said, if a girl won't get off with you on New Year's Eve,

Chips is an outstanding bully.

Chips knows there's nothing more attractive than a bully.

Close your eyes.

Come here.

Come on, gay boy, take back what you said about me!

Come on, up you get, sweetheart.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Just...

Confiding in Jordana was now impossible.

Cool.

Cos everything's fine with me.

Cos it seems very basic and banal but it's not. It's loaded.

Cos Mark Pritchard cheated on her with Abby Smuts at the school disco.

Could be Mum.

Could you tell her I called?

Dad, aren't you going to Graham's thing?

Dad, who would you save first in a house fire,

Dad...

Deal, yes?

Dear Jordana, thank you for letting me explore your perfect body.

Dear Oliver, I tried to tell you

Did she say she went into the van with his face on it?

Did she say what happened in the van with his face on it?

Discovery of the self.

Do I have to bring shorts?

Do not call them ninjas, Oliver. It's racist.

Do you actually pre prepare these lines?

Do you like my hair long?

Do you mind jumping in the back, here, Lloyd?

Do you often feel like this?

Do you still have a key?

Doing a job he finds difficult to explain

Doing what?

Don't ask how. Just know that I'm now more powerful than ever.

Don't be a dick, Mark. Just let him go.

Don't get cocky.

Don't let me down. OK?

Don't think you have to wait. It's cold.

Drinking hot lemon from the same mug and never washing it,

During a routine search of my parents' bedroom.

During another routine search of my parents' bedroom.

During some of my early formative relationships.

During this brief hiatus, I can help save my parents' marriage

Eat food, and walk around like nothing's wrong.

Either the operation was a success,

Either way's good.

Essentially, I disapprove of bullying.

Every night I come to the same place

Family, deal.

Feel my piss.

Fine. I'll let him go.

Fine. I'm gay, I'm very gay.

Firstly, Rhydian Bird,

Following Mum's special diet.

For about, I don't know, a year...

For fuck's sake, just come on. Loosen up.

For people to accidentally find.

For some quality one on one time.

Foxes dig up dead animals and eat them.

Friday.

Friday...

From now on she'll buy little gifts for her favourite teachers

From the universe.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fucking hell, you're a serial killer.

Fucking piss on your face, you fucking freak.

Gaylord! Gaylord! Gaylord! Gaylord!

Gaylord! Gaylord! Gaylord! Gaylord!

Gene told me that Zoe had moved schools.

Get off me!

Get the fuck off me, you freak.

Get the fuck out of here. Merry Christmas. Have a good 'un.

Give it back now!

Give me the camera.

Given the hypothetical situation

Given the hypothetical situation that Dad and I were equally hard to save?

Go on, just ask me.

Going to the beach with Graham. I will not be back tonight.

Good night and erm...well done!

Good night, Oliver.

Good night, son.

Good night.

Good.

Good.

Got it. Six till eight. I'll meet you there.

Graham is an old friend and has had relationship problems with Kim Lin.

Graham is still very attractive. He probably felt threatened.

Great, yeah.

Great.

Have you always liked fish?

Have you ever kissed anyone before?

Having a wank, sir?

He also knows that Zoe Preece is a legitimate target

He could talk to you...

He knows Graham was your first love...

He knows the number for the pothole helpline off by heart.

He needed someone he could talk to.

He once made our Religious Education teacher cry using only Blu Tack.

He probably makes sure all his prospective sex partners

He ruins every Christmas.

He said nothing, showed no discomfort

He still finds you attractive.

He still wants to make love to you.

He was so funny and so smart.

He was the first person in our village to install double glazing.

He will come.

He's gonna be really missed. It's so bad. He's so young.

He's not my boyfriend.

He's really working that third eye, isn't he?

He's white.

Hello!

Hello.

Hello.

Her mother had cancer.

Her mouth tasted of milk, Polo mints and Dunhill International.

Her new boyfriend has an incredibly long neck.

Her tongue was blue from blackcurrant squash.

His stoicism reminded me of the brave men who died in the First World War.

Hm, yes.

Hm?

Hold onto her with everything you've got.

Honestly, Zoe, it was an accident.

Hop right in there, make yourself comfortable.

How are you feeling?

How deep is the ocean?

How do you even know all men read poems?

How important is light?

How it's a bit over the top

How long for?

How much more of this bizarre behaviour do I have to endure?

How was the film?

How's my dad meant to compete?

However, the views allow me to spy on our new neighbours.

Huh?

Humiliating teachers and bullying the weak.

I am a prism.

I am exciting and delicious.

I am lucid.

I bought my dad some new aftershave, but I'm drawing a blank on the cancer.

I can imagine my mum calmly leaving one day while Dad helps her pack.

I can only assume the subject of wife swapping was raised

I can picture her telling Jackie at work

I can talk to you about that.

I can't. It's Zoe's. She gave it to me and I was gonna...

I could drink your blood.

I could feel the tension between Jordana and I start to slip away.

I could hear you breathe, Lloyd.

I decided to soften the blow with some light arson.

I did not say it in a high pitched... like a little mouse.

I didn't ask for this, Jill.

I didn't think it'd be you, I...

I don't agree with all he says but he makes some interesting points.

I don't care about my fucking skin.

I don't know if I've come of age but I'm certainly older now.

I don't know them yet but they seem like terrible human beings.

I don't know.

I don't know. Probably a lake or a river nearby.

I don't need your life story.

I don't quite know what I am yet.

I don't want a mystic ninja as a stepdad.

I don't want anything to change.

I don't want to be from a broken home like Chip's,

I enclose my lighter as a parting gift for you.

I feel bad, cutting into his head.

I feel shrunken, as if there's a tiny ancient Oliver Tate inside me

I find that the only way to get through life

I found a book about teenage paranoid delusions

I gave Graham a handjob.

I got you these books. They're really meaningful to me.

I had in fact only kissed one person before Zoe Preece.

I have no idea what I'm hoping to achieve by breaking into Graham's house.

I haven't spoken to Jordana about her mother

I hoped it wouldn't be, cos the turkey was quite dry

I imagine the camera craning up as I walk away.

I just saw them and accidentally picked up the phone. Aren't you worried?

I just sort of drifted into it, really. No pun intended.

I just split lines as they come to me.

I just want to give him the idea that I'm deranged

I just wanted to hug him. I just wish I had.

I knew that these events although hard to bear at this precise moment

I knew then it was too late to save her.

I know when they've been at it because the dial will be set to halfway.

I know you think I'm very boring, you know.

I know you're a good actor.

I know you're all gagging to get to double Biology but don't rush.

I know, I know, yeah.

I know.

I know. I made a mistake.

I like the whole colour coding thing.

I live in a large house with my parents.

I made a mistake. What do you want me to say?

I mean, it was just unlucky that you were there and that you fell in.

I mean, it's a bit over the top, but I think there's something in it.

I mean, we'd had sex.

I mean, you know, we get on pretty well.

I must be willing to adapt.

I must not let my principles stand in the way of progress.

I need a fucking drink.

I noticed the way you light a match.

I often imagine how people would react to my death.

I persuaded her to give Zoe the pamphlet by saying it was a love letter.

I remembered a chapter that says:

I saw her in town with Graham and heard her on the phone talking about him.

I saw Mum with Graham at the beach.

I sc****d his remains into the bin liner I'd brought.

I sit next to her in Geography, so we're mates.

I split up with Kim Lin.

I still can't believe you fucking said it.

I suppose it won't matter when I'm 38 but...

I suppose it's a bit of an affectation, but I often read the dictionary.

I suppose so.

I take it back. I take it back.

I think light is probably the most important gift we have

I think Mum might be having an affair.

I think music can make things seem a bit more real, sometimes,

I think she'd rather I earnt more money.

I think they...

I think this will matter when I'm older, when I'm 38.

I think you should go to your mother now, OK?

I think you've learned from it. Maybe we could start again.

I thought it gentlemanly to escort Jordana home.

I thought it'd be like a film where the girl turns round and it's not the...

I thought it'd be nice to get some mutual interest, now we've had sex,

I thought my parents were going to split up

I thought you were going out.

I thought you would have. She leaves a big gap.

I thought...

I told her if we were going to do it, we had to hide behind the refectory.

I used to have long hair like her.

I used to have long hair, remember?

I want my family back.

I was completely overbalanced.

I was crying earlier. My eyes are probably red.

I was defending the honour of my girlfriend.

I was planning on going to see one of Graham's talks tonight.

I wish I could hand in this excuse note.

I wish I could have said goodbye, but I never said anything to him.

I wish life could be more like American soap operas.

I wish on a global scale that people could get the message.

I would have to travel this road secretly,

I'd go for you but I'd feel bad for your father.

I'd like you to be there, so...

I'd save your mother first,

I'll be fine, I'll be all right.

I'll be OK. I'll be...

I'll come. When is it?

I'll give you this. It's just a letter I was gonna give you. Just take it.

I'll hit you in the face.

I'll let him go.

I'll see you in the car.

I'll see you, then.

I'll think about it.

I'm broken hearted.

I'm busy tonight.

I'm doing it. Just do it.

I'm eating better.

I'm fine here.

I'm fine. I'm fine. Give us a cudge.

I'm full of regret.

I'm going out for a bit.

I'm going to bed.

I'm going to have to increase my surveillance.

I'm going to work from home today so if you want to take the car...

I'm just directing you, just...

I'm just try...

I'm not bothered. We've as good as done it.

I'm not going anywhere until you tell me the truth.

I'm not in the mood.

I'm not sure I believe in scenery.

I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know.

I'm OK now. It doesn't matter.

I'm sorry for that. I didn't know whether you'd like it.

I'm sorry I'm like this.

I'm starting to think that we may grow apart.

I'm sure she'd rather I wasn't.

I'm upset about it.

I'm watching you.

I've already turned these moments into the Super 8 footage of memory.

I've also given her two examples to inspire her.

I've also included some break up songs towards the end,

I've been looking forward to it. I didn't realise there'd be others.

I've been monitoring their intimacy via the dimmer switch in their bedroom.

I've been taking my duty as a boyfriend seriously.

I've been working on strategies to solve both problems.

I've even had a brief hat phase. But nothing stuck.

I've got a big heart.

I've got to do some Christmas shopping.

I've got you these matches.

I've tried smoking a pipe...

If I did write it, and I'm not as yet admitting that I did,

If I say yes, does that lessen the chance of you wanting to?

If it's in writing. It's over.

If my dad radiated a colour,

If you ask him...

If you want to shave off your hair, you should.

In many ways, I prefer my own company.

In my other recurring dream, I mentally rehearse the end scene.

In which case she needs privacy and time to grieve.

In which case she'll be too relieved to be angry with me for long,

In you get.

Intimate?

Is it possible that Mum would cheat on Dad?

Is it?

Is she still looking?

Is that because of the...

Is that what you wear to lounge around?

Is that why you became a marine biologist?

Is that you?

Is there anything I can help you with there?

Is there anything you'd like to say about that?

Is there anything you'd like to talk about now, huh?

Is to come to the seminar.

Is to picture myself in an entirely disconnected reality.

It distresses tiny animals.

It feels like you can just stand under those waves

It gives me time to think.

It happens to some.

It is you.

It may seem like a big deal now

It means she's got a brain tumour.

It produced a very atavistic response.

It seems pretty clear that Mum is having an affair.

It smouldered in the cold.

It started to nourish me.

It took a long time because I was in such a state of anxiety.

It was after the Cowboys And Indians school disco.

It was first developed to locate submerged objects

It was just a joke?

It was luck, I'm gonna get him for this. I'll bring him so much pain.

It was when I started to be comfortable with it and stopped trying to resist it,

It'd be because I spoke to Dad. This is what he wants.

It'd be ochre or eggshell.

It'd take more than some silly tumour to kill me.

It's a big love letter.

It's a bloody nail bomb.

It's a compilation of songs I used to listen to

It's a kettle.

It's a tradition. They go every Thursday evening.

It's about a foot in diameter. It's a bit of a concern.

It's an achievement. It really is, of sorts.

It's called...medulloblastoma.

It's fine.

It's from Dad.

It's fucking ridiculous! How long's it been?

It's good, isn't it? It's important that they get on.

It's interesting.

It's just a metaphor, Lloyd.

It's just incredible.

It's just, there's a fantastic noodle bar right next to the cinema.

It's mine.

It's nice to see something lightweight once in a while,

It's not very pleasant.

It's nothing.

It's rude to leave a film before it's finished.

It's still a thing, though. It had life.

It's such a lovely area.

It's therefore in Jordana's interest

It's Thursday, our cinema night. It's not a free for all.

It's Thursday. You're going to the cinema? You should leave.

Jesus Christ.

Jordana and I enjoyed a glorious atavistic fortnight of lovemaking,

Jordana Bevan's only real flaws are her sporadic bouts of eczema.

Jordana hates any place that could be termed romantic.

Jordana seems to enjoy it in moderation.

JORDANA:

Jordana!

Jordana!

Jordana... I think it will matter when I'm older.

Jude would like to meet you.

Just about bloody light!

Just do it.

Just do it...

Just gonna let things take their own path.

Just gonna top this up quickly.

Just in case things don't work out.

Just more developed thematically.

Just thinking about giraffes makes me angry.

Just try not to crack the spines or burn them.

K nock, k nock, can I come in?

Keep up, Tubs!

Kim Lin and I would love to take you and Lloyd, ..

Kim Lin?

Kneel down.

Knock, knock.

Last night, I reread the book I Only Want What's Best For You.

Lastly, she's now single,

Let her go.

Let me tell you, if you're lucky enough to find an angel,

Let's get off.

Lf...he admits you're a slut.

Like being underwater.

Like Professor Hawking or anybody of that ilk,

Like what?

Listen,

Listen, I hope you don't mind.

Listen... Thank you.

Lloyd is far too self involved to feel threatened, Jackie.

Lloyd sulked because we watched Crocodile Dundee

Lloyd, I think it best we be honest.

Lloyd?

Local news analysis.

Look, I was frightened.

Many of the people I've spoken to here referred to him as an example.

Maybe if you get a terminal illness.

Maybe it's time for Dad to rip off his vest again.

Maybe you should come to the hospital this Friday.

Maybe you should write her a pamphlet or something.

Maybe you should write to her.

Maybe, yeah.

Me and Dad have discussed it. We both want to make this marriage work.

Me and Jordana are having relationship problems.

Meet me under the railway bridge after school and we'll take it from there.

Mention what a dick Mark Pritchard is and slag off Abby Sluts.

Mine get on as well.

Mm. Mum told me everything.

Most people think of themselves as individuals,

Mr Dunthorne's quavering voice as he makes the announcement.

Mum normally just gets a trim from her work colleague Jackie.

Mum will have had her operation by then and we can visit.

Mum's getting the bus.

My body has been replaced by a shell. My organs are made of stone.

My father is a marine biologist,

My mother assumes I've been abducted and left to drown in a lake.

My mother is naturally neurotic

My mother is worried that I have mental problems.

My mum gave a hand job to a mystic.

My mum is the exact type of person

My name is not Kim Lin.

My name is Oliver Tate.

My name is Oliver Tate.

My parents are going to the cinema on Thursday,

My parents have not had sex for seven months.

My research indicates it all started when he was sacked from his job

My word for today is "flagitious", which means wickedly shameful.

Nearly went red there.

Never take more than a week between everything but and stuffing it in.

Nice one, Ol. Nice one, you fuck muppet.

Ninjas.

No more Yuletide logging for you,

No one can truly know what anyone thinks or feels.

No opinion.

No wonder their cinema outing had ended in such a schism.

No, I am. I have a girlfriend now.

No, I don't think we should.

No, it's fine. I'll wait.

No, just...

No, not really.

No, of course, I'm sorry. I just...

No, well, maybe they don't go red when I cry.

No, you being underwater.

No, you never have anything to do. What are you doing?

No.

No.

No.

No. Do not admit it.

Nobody could tease him about it cos he was so proud.

None of this will matter when I'm 38.

Not if it made you happy.

Not too long ago, I discovered an empty bottle of anti depressants,

Now he works at the local university,

Now kneel down.

Now she works for the council's Legal and Democratic Services department.

Now that we had kissed for non blackmail purposes,

Of course, yeah. Go ahead, you should be able to ask what you want to ask.

Of course.

Of, you know, difficulty

Oh, and in case you're interested, my mum's fine now.

Oh, come on.

Oh, come on.

Oh, for fuck...

Oh, for God's sake.

Oh, grow up! Grow up!

Oh, here we go.

Oh, it's all right, darling. Ssh.

Oh, no, no, no. I mean, it's good, yes.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, dear.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, these fucking lights!

Oh, this is fun, isn't it?

Oh, yeah, she's got my number.

Oh, you mean me.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh... I had no idea.

OK, calm down.

OK, don't push it, Ol.

OK, fine.

OK, I got into a fight.

OK, I've done it.

OK, let's think about that for a minute.

OK, sit up.

OK, well, as I say, if it was just a joke then that's fine.

OK, well... Good night.

OK, yep, yep.

OK?

OK? I am a prism, I am light.

OK? Thank you.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK. All right.

OK. I don't think it's really...

OK. I don't want to embarrass you

OK. Now take out the diary and write today's date.

OK. Well, I was drunk and I was trying to relax Graham.

Oliver Tate was a popular and much loved pupil.

Oliver Tate.

Oliver, what are you doing?

Oliver?

Oliver.

On New Year's Eve, everyone from town goes to the beach.

On Thursday evening, it's an empty house.

One treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen.

One of the rules in her office

Operating the levers of a life size Oliver shaped shell.

Or any negative feelings that you want to talk about, feel free to come and...

Or her mother was dead,

Or Jordana.

Or sadness

Other boys respected him, looked up to him, I guess.

Other than spitting and setting things on fire.

Other than that, she has many qualities.

Other times I go to the beach and stare at the sea.

Part of the family now. Deal?

Passion rarely lasts, I'm afraid.

Perhaps she's a Fabian.

Please may Oliver be excused from class. His tiny heart is broken.

Please, Chip, shut up.

Please, Jordana... What is this?

Plenty of room in the van.

Plus a couple of things I thought you might dig.

Pothole.

Preece?

Preece? Anyone seen Zoe?

Presenting on the Open University.

Pritchard, take a look at this. It's as funny as fuck.

Pritchard.

Probably catch him like he caught me, on the sly.

PS: You were right about my being allergic to dogs. I got tested.

Quite often.

Rather than one of his dark numbers, I don't know.

Relationships are tough, aren't they?

Replays the same handful of images.

Right, I'm off out.

Right, now, now, now.

Right, OK, just don't open them. I'll tell you when. Stay there.

Right, yes. So are you going to be selling up?

Right.

Right.

Right.

Salinger's very influential.

Saved by the bell once again, Mr Tate.

Say it.

Say it. Say it!

Secondly, Chips. He wasn't even considered hot

See how it goes, really.

Seven miles at its deepest point, but on average, six miles as a rule of thumb.

She never speaks about herself. She could be anything.

She was very unhappy because she was bullied

She'd gone gooey in the middle.

She'll be in no mood to put out any more.

She's also a girl to be seen with her would improve my street cred,

She's got...

She's moderately unpopular, which makes a romance between us more likely.

She's not on my radar.

She's taking the piss. Keiron, back me up.

Since I was about your age, I suppose.

Since she might die in two weeks.

Since when have you called her Jude?

Smuts?

So er...got any plans?

So everything's fine at home, everything's OK?

So I've written a pamphlet on how to break out of the victim cycle.

So it wouldn't bother you if I shaved it all off?

So rude, Lloyd.

So things are serious between you two?

So we had a better chance of working together to save you.

So what do you think?

So what I'm saying is, it's empty.

So when you're in a crisis, it doesn't feel like the waves are crashing on you,

So you admit they have a history?

So, do you wanna come?

So, Friday.

So, I hear from my little girl that you've stolen her heart.

So, yes, we're treating the matter as suspicious.

So?

So... I inherited it all.

Some animals, like bats, dolphins and dogs

Someone made a documentary about a prominent thinker

Sometimes I wish there was a film crew following my every move.

Sorry I didn't come to the hospital.

Sorry if it made you feel awkward.

Sorry, did you say your mum wasn't well?

Sorry, I had to er...go to the toilet.

Sorry, what?

Sorry.

Sturgeons are royal fish, since the 14th century,

Submarines, depth charges, Atlantis and such.

Subrip: easytobeaman

Sure, I'll check my diary.

Sure.

Sweet pea,

Tear streaked tributes.

Thank you for looking after Jordana, for walking through the fire with her.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you very much, Jeff.

Thank you, Oliver, for your refreshing honesty.

Thank you.

Thanks for living up a fucking hill.

Thanks very much for today. You've been fantastic.

That both Mum and I were equally difficult to save?

That her dog dies before her mother does.

That note seems fascinating, Oliver Tate.

That there's no one on the planet like them.

That was fucking ridiculous.

That way, I can slip in unnoticed, like a torpedo.

That would make her a socialist who advocates gradual change.

That you don't have to think about.

That's for sure.

That's just something to bear in mind.

That's not mad.

That's the challenge. We talk about challenges.

That's the main thing.

That's very naughty.

That's what it means.

The Bevans had Christmas dinner early in case it was the last one they had.

The biopic of my life will only have the budget for a zoom out.

The celebrations are really kicking in, right?

The death of a pet makes it easier to accept the death of a parent.

The empty stillness of a school corridor.

The flame is the same shape as a falling tear.

The full extent of the betrayal is still the subject of speculation.

The hours we spent up in that room, listening to records, hatching plans.

The house. On Thursday. The house is empty.

The most fantastical way people experience the Graham T Purvis system

The most secure route to Zoe is big Gene,

The ocean is six miles deep, isn't it?

The ocean is six miles deep.

The one where it's getting dark and I mistake a girl for Jordana.

The only time I saw him enthral a room

The pattern is set.

The question was, do I tell Jordana about this Graham situation?

The shocked faces of my classmates.

The steady stoicism of my parents.

The visiting hours are six till eight.

Then I started to make more of an understanding of it.

Then we can get things back on track.

Then, whenever things got dramatic,

There he is. Oliver?

There is no affair. He's just some bloke I stole your mother from.

There was no need to poison Jordana's dog

There we fucking go.

There we go.

There's no light, of course, and the pressure is far too great.

They don't even row.

They don't strike me as big Eric Rohmer fans.

They get on, you know.

They just have discussions.

They look fine.

They probably have a guy that does it. I could find out.

They tell me that our area has breathtaking scenery.

They would implode. They wouldn't stand a chance.

They're living a fulfilled life.

Things were a lot less fun since Jordana's mother might die

This gift, it's ... It's like a burden to me.

This is about dipping your wick. You've done that, game over.

This is conclusive proof that you might not be gay.

This is crackin', love.

This is my last warning. It's Jude.

This is nice, isn't it?

This is not what you signed up for.

This is Shakespeare's most mature work, miles better than Hamlet.

This is the moment where you leave him and come with me.

This is, no doubt, the end.

This isn't funny.

This thought motivates them to get out of bed,

This used to be Jill's grandmother's house, right?

This was a vivid memory of youth that I would cherish when I was old and frail.

This was the correct decision.

This was the happiest I'd seen my father for years.

This will probably involve me urinating or something.

Though, I'm gonna tell you, it is likely.

To anyone without a degree level knowledge of fish.

To us, and a wonderful evening of lovemaking.

Tonight, I stumbled across an encyclopaedia entry on ultrasound.

Two don't mix family and bush.

Two weeks. It's fucking ridiculous!

Ultrasound is a sound vibration too high frequency to be audible.

Unaided,

Unlike me, who shall be rolling in it throughout the festive period.

Until she was told by a speech therapist her tongue was too big for her mouth.

Until the Watkins twins stabbed him in the back with compasses.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wanker!

Wanker!

Was when he gave a talk about the disappearance of a giant sturgeon.

Watch out, she's looking.

Watch your step, motherfucker! Ha ha

We are now as one.

We are witnessing incredible, unprecedented scenes of quiet devotion.

We don't want to be in the dark,

We eat lots of ginger now.

We have been intimate, yeah.

We kissed until our lips felt swollen.

We should bury him.

We should get in. It starts in an hour. I want to get a good seat.

We should go back to sleep, though.

We were playing...sort of like a game.

We were working as a team, testing each other's limits,

We're all travelling under the radar, undetected.

We're not going to punish you now

We've lost our virginity but it wasn't like losing anything.

Wearing tracksuit tops instead of coats

Well done.

Well remembered. Yeah.

Well, er, it's been terrific. Small world, all that.

Well, I'd like to go again.

Well, I'm intrigued, yeah.

Well, it's um...

Well, it's up to you.

Well, that's the challenge I'm giving you this term.

Well, there's this thing the Vikings used to do.

Well, they would die immediately.

Well, we'll talk about that too but you should go back to sleep now, OK?

Well, you know... I like your hair no matter how long it is.

Well, you should get along then, I suppose.

Were you listening in to that?

What a lovely little chat. You're doing so well.

What about what you've done?

What are you complaining about?

What did you talk about, Oliver?

What do I mean by "self discovery"? Mark Pritchard?

What do you think?

What do you want from me?

What does it feel like?

What does it mean?

What happened?

What is light?

What is light?

What is this?

What kind of protest's this, then, eh?

What should we do, then?

What the fuck?

What?

What's inside Dad?

What's inside Jordana?

What's inside Mum?

When I discovered I could see these colours in people,

When there, I asked if she was my girlfriend now. And she said:

When we're in school together, try not to look upset.

Whenever I'm late home from school,

Where are you going, Oliver?

Where do you think they get the frogs?

Which, obviously, you know, that isn't the aim,

Which, though high, could be higher.

Who am I?

Who is susceptible to this mystic bullshit.

Who pulled his trousers down to fart and followed through,

Who struggled with unspeakable loss.

Who would you save first in a fire,

Who, over the last few months, has become her only friend and confidante.

Whoargh!

Why are you doing this?

Why are you such a total dick?

Why did you write this, Oliver?

Why don't the three of you just go and see some tat at the Odeon?

Why don't you go fuck yourself? Fucking big gay.

Why else would she be at the hairdresser's with Graham the ninja?

Why hadn't my parents told me that Graham was Mum's first love?

Why have you been meeting Graham?

Why would I be angry with Jordana?

Why would I shave my hair off, Lloyd? What a stupid idea.

Why would I want to be more like you?

Why write stuff like that? Perhaps people are right and you are gay.

Why, what's wrong?

Why? It's just a fucking frog.

Will the house be empty?

Will they get divorced?

With a healthy colour glow around themselves,

With this in mind, I took her to one of my favourite industrial estates,

Worse things have happened at sea, Ol.

Would help build Zoe Preece's character in the long term.

Wouldn't it be just wonderful?

Wouldn't it spoil things if I suddenly got emotional?

Wow. You look mentally retarded.

Write a few paragraphs on how excited you are to have kissed me.

Write down the reasons why I should.

Yargh, yargh, yargh!

Yargh, yargh, yargh!

Yargh!

Yeah, course it will.

Yeah, Friday's good for me, actually. Yeah, I can do that. Excellent.

Yeah, I'll be OK.

Yeah, I'm meant to be at the hospital.

Yeah, I'm upset.

Yeah, it's great. Thank you, Mrs Bevan.

Yeah, it's not bad.

Yeah, no.

Yeah, you know, we've done things. We've been intimate.

Yeah, you look good for your age. For a mum.

Yeah, you must be exhausted.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. OK.

Yeah. Yeah, I will. Yeah, I should go.

Yep.

Yes, of course. I mean, why wouldn't... I didn't...

Yes, that's right, Lloyd Tate. Oh, hi, how are you?

Yes, yes. Good turnout, was it?

Yes?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Er...listen...

Yes. No, no. Well, you know, I am.

You all right?

You could just fade the picture down and pick things up again later.

You don't know me at all.

You don't know me.

You don't talk about your parents much.

You know that your dad and I are going through a bit of a tough time.

You know the rules. Stand up and read it out.

You look lovely.

You may as well cut it off.

You should be in bed, Oliver.

You should be more angry with her.

You should go in.

You shouldn't be spying on people.

You shouldn't spy on people.

You were horrible to me.

You were, in primary school and Cubs.

You're acting like I'm dead already.

You're fucked. Even if her mum is terminal, it can still take ages.

You're not being serious, it's fine.

You're the only person I would allow to be shrunk to microscopic size

You're too good for me. You're too good for anyone. Sincerely, Oliver.

You've got a new dog. You're allergic.

You've got to be shitting me.

You've got to shut the shit down. Keiron, get my back.

You've got to wake up. How many times have I told you?

You've gotta shut this shit down. It's fucking ridiculous.

Your father and I have discussed it

Your father doesn't want to go out all of a sudden.

Your favourite.

Your skin's better. You're allergic to the dog.

Your skin's looking bad, terrible. It's probably the dog.

Yours sincerely, Lloyd Tate."

Zoe Preece hasn't been in school for a while,

Zoe, this is for you. It's yours. It has your name on it. Take it.

Zoe.

18. Look, I've got to go. I'll call you back.

All right? Yeah.

Any more word from Graham? Nothing to report, Jackie.

Are you being victimised again? No. I'm never victimised.

Are you gonna get up now? Yeah. Sorry, yeah.

Ask me how deep the ocean is. Shut up.

Bring Lloyd. Um...

But it was silly, right? No, no.

Can I have the pamphlet now? No.

Ciao, Lloyd. Goodbye.

Come here. Sorry, love.

Come on. Sorry, sorry.

Davies? Yes, sir.

Deal? Deal.

Did you think I was... No, I didn't. Come here.

Do not admit that. Shut up, Chips.

Do you want to take the car? That's fine.

Do you? Yeah.

Don't you knock any more? Sorry, Oliver. What?

Ellis? Yes, sir.

Er... Or short like now?

For sure. This Friday. This Friday.

Fuck you, Chips. What the fuck are you up to, you fool?

Gene. What?

Give my love to Jill. Will do.

Gonna come next week? Er...

Got the camera and the diary? Do you have the pamphlet?

Graham's an old friend of Mum's. They've met up.

Griffiths? Here, sir.

Happy birthday, Jill. Thank you.

Harris? Yes, sir.

He wasn't my first love. Come on.

Hm? Graham's thing. It's Friday.

How are things with Jordana? Fine.

How deep? I'm not going to say.

How do they know? They just do.

How? They do.

I always use condoms. Good.

I can? You'd better.

I don't actually want to know. Neither do I.

I don't know what's in it. I think you do.

I don't know. You tell me. It's not.

I don't remember. I do. There was a lot of crying.

I dunno. I'm sorry. No, it's fine.

I know. Do you care,

I mean, do they get on? Yeah, they get on.

I really don't know. I wouldn't. This is stupid.

I want to get you something good. Mother might die.

I was 18. Pardon?

I'd like a moment with my father. Lovely.

I'll just stay in. You should both go.

I'll make sure I keep myself busy. Oliver, you coming?

I'll see what I can do. Right,

I'm just saying. You asked... I wonder where Fat is.

I'm not saying it's cheap... Fuck off and die!

I'm not trying to help. You're a loud whisperer.

I've been dead for years. Right.

I've gotta go home. OK, cool. You should go home.

If you felt like it. Er, Friday.

if you know what I mean. Thanks.

Is he all right? He's fine. Just leave him.

Is it cos we pushed her into the pond? I didn't push her.

Is it drug related? How?

Is it self harm? Why would I punch myself in the eye?

is that if it's your birthday... Ta da.

It might not. Oh, come on, now. Don't be daft.

It seemed to go pretty well. Oh, yes, yes.

It was a kiss. I tried to be romantic. What the fuck?

It was a silly thing to do. Mm.

It's all good. Anyway, I'd better... I'd better go.

It's not mine. Please take it.

It's OK. I don't. I don't.

It's on this Friday, so... Right, OK, yeah.

It's Smuts. Let's call her Sluts.

Jordana is a slut. No.

Kiss me! What?

Lloyd, do you want to add anything? No.

Maybe I will go. It's pretty cold. Yeah.

Morris? Sir.

Mum? Yes?

Ninjas. My treat.

No, we both do. He's a good boy, isn't he?

Nothing's changed. Do what you want. Remember two things:

Oh, do you? Yeah. I do.

Oh, Graham. Whoa!

Oh, not really... Hey.

Oh. It's difficult.

OK. Mm?

OK. You don't mind?

Oliver. Where's your boyfriend?

Ooh. Just say it, gay boy.

or couldn't you give a fuck? I do, clearly.

Pretty, isn't she? I dunno.

Pritchard? Yes.

Really? Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

She hasn't been in school for a while. I hadn't noticed.

She was young, right? I'm really sorry.

She's taking the piss, man. Thank you.

So he might be single soon? Goodbye, Oliver.

Sorry, but... No, no, I... Yeah...

Sorry. All right.

Tate? Yeah, present.

Thank you again. You're very good. Ciao, Jill.

Thank you very much. Sorry I'm a bit early.

Thank you. Mm.

Thank you. Appreciate it. No.

Thanks, Mum. Just a second, we're early.

That gap gets smaller every day. What are you doing tonight?

The ocean is six miles deep. Good.

Then why did they write it? Kiss me.

There wasn't even any sound on it. There was never intended to be.

There's some lovely massage oils. Great. OK.

They loved it. Did you enjoy it?

They're our neighbours. Who, the ninjas?

Think she's weeping herself to death? I didn't push her.

This Friday? Mm hm.

Tired? Down in the dumps.

Very sweet. No need to take two cars, right?

Watch yourself. Thank you.

We went to the cinema as normal. How did that go?

What are you doing? Just kiss me.

What did happen? That's between your mother and I.

What is this? A letter.

What will you do with the photos? Leave them lying around school.

What, now? Yeah.

What? I always leave it too late.

What? 38? Just be careful.

What's this? I don't know.

who doesn't like you. I'll be back.

Who to? The film makers.

Who's Jude? My mum.

Why on earth did you get a new dog? Because I like dogs, OK?

Why would I mind? It just means I won't be in tonight.

Why? Because I know the answer.

With extreme prejudice. Thank you.

Yeah, sure. What is it? It's quite serious.

Yes. So you're condoning this affair?

You can relax, right? Mm.

You cried it. Come on, we're late.

You ever going to let us meet her? I Don't think so.

You go get 'em, killer. I will.

You have a good day, Lloyd. OK, cheers, Graham.

You look nice. Thank you.

You spoke to Dad? He knows he's been imperfect.

You think I'm silly? No, I don't.

You want us to go? Yes, I do.

You were crushing my face. Yeah, in a romantic way.

You... OK, bye.

You're a loser. Go and see the girl

You've got scaly hands. It's eczema.

Your pupils are huge. It's dark.

Zoe? Mm.

., flipping coins...

..have been mind blowing. I've seen lives change.

..his cup of... I'll ask.

..how extraordinary they are.

..you are held responsible for bringing your own cake to work.

"Dear Mr Davey,

"Jordana, I love you. I want to have your babies, get married."

"Kiss me!" Who says that?

"What kind of young person am I?"

♪ About stars, girl

♪ About stars, girl

♪ ALEX TURNER: Glass In The Park

♪ ALEX TURNER: It's Hard To Get Around The Wind

♪ ALEX TURNER: Piledriver Waltz

♪ ALEX TURNER: Stuck On The Puzzle

♪ ALEX TURNER: Stuck On The Puzzle

♪ Along a beam of light

♪ And afloat I'll stay

♪ And did a swap for the sand

♪ And even when you know the way it's gonna blow

♪ And even when you know the way it's gonna blow

♪ And have time to play

♪ And I can hear you through my window

♪ And I spent all night

♪ And I spent all night

♪ And I thought I'd seen the light

♪ And I will have a game on the coconut shy

♪ And I will play the coconut shy

♪ And I won't even lose my fizz

♪ And I won't even lose my fizz

♪ And I'll get there soon

♪ And quite all right hiding tonight

♪ And sat in the back booth

♪ And sat in the back booth

♪ And so was your food

♪ And so was your food

♪ And the doorman says, You need to get a wrist band

♪ And the queue was shorter than you thought it'd be

♪ And they'd gone backwards

♪ And they'd gone backwards

♪ And walk on water

♪ And win a prize even if it's rigged

♪ And win a prize even if it's rigged

♪ And you can leave off my lid

♪ And you can shriek until you're hollow

♪ And you'd better bring a change of clothes

♪ Any man who wasn't led away

♪ As long as you still keep peppering the pill

♪ As the one I caught when I saw

♪ As the one I caught when I saw

♪ At the Heartbreak Hotel

♪ At the Heartbreak Hotel

♪ Beneath the climbing frame

♪ But as long as you still keep peppering the pill

♪ But I'm never quite sure who is who

♪ But I'm quite all right hiding today

♪ But I'm quite all right hiding today

♪ But I'm quite all right hiding tonight

♪ But if you are, I am quite all right

♪ But it's gonna hurt soon

♪ But it's sabre toothed, multi ball confusion

♪ But last night I looked up

♪ But last night I looked up into

♪ But my feet got caught in the middle

♪ But the red on the rest of the questionnaire

♪ But they want the world on a dessert spoon

♪ But you're looking like you're low on energy

♪ But, oh, no

♪ By the pamphlets and the literature

♪ By the pamphlets and the literature

♪ Darling, I can't help but keep

♪ Did you get out and walk to ensure you'd miss the quicksand?

♪ Don't worry, your foot won't get cut

♪ Feeling like it's hard to understand

♪ For such a sight

♪ For such a sight

♪ Forcing them to get an early night

♪ From the bottom to the top

♪ Go green when you answer

♪ Hadn't just made him drop

♪ Hiding today

♪ I etched the face of a stopwatch

♪ I have been searching

♪ I have been searching from the bottom to the top

♪ I heard an unhappy ending

♪ I heard the news that you're planning

♪ I heard the Piledriver Waltz

♪ I heard the Piledriver Waltz

♪ I tried to swim to the side

♪ I was just stuck on the puzzle

♪ I won't know when to stop

♪ I won't know when to stop and you can leave off my lid

♪ I'll be the polka dots type

♪ I'll be the polka dots type

♪ I'll catch what I've been chasing after

♪ I'll have a spring in my step

♪ I'll know the way back if you know the way

♪ I'll probably swim through a few lagoons

♪ I'll stare into the strobe light flicker

♪ I'll tighten your blindfold, baby

♪ I'm not the kind of fool

♪ I'm not the kind of fool who's gonna sit and sing to you

♪ If the sun's in your eyes

♪ If there's glass in the park

♪ If you're going to try

♪ If you're going to try and walk on water

♪ In an hourglass

♪ Into the dark half of the blue

♪ Into the other room

♪ It always sounds like they're fighting

♪ It might not hurt now

♪ It sort of sounds like you leaving

♪ It woke me up this morning

♪ It woke me up this morning

♪ It's hard

♪ It's hard to get around the wind

♪ It's like you're trying to get to heaven in a hurry

♪ Knew how we came to be

♪ Like you're used to being told

♪ Like you're used to being told that you're trouble

♪ Looking for a new place to begin

♪ Looking for a new place to begin It's Oliver. Oliver Tate.

♪ Make sure you wear

♪ Make sure you wear

♪ Making appointments to sweep

♪ Must have pissed them off

♪ Mysteries flashing amber

♪ Never changes

♪ No longer just in black and white

♪ Nobody I asked

♪ Oh oh oh

♪ On how to lose

♪ On how to lose

♪ On the back of a raindrop

♪ Or as if that's what they're about to do

♪ Or whisper it the other way

♪ Running colourful

♪ So we can sail our laughing pianos

♪ Something in your magnetism

♪ Stood pretending

♪ Stretching out the neck on your evening

♪ Strut carelessly

♪ Stuck on the puzzle

♪ Stuck on the puzzle

♪ Stuck on the puzzle

♪ That he was holding

♪ That something in your magnetism

♪ That you're trouble

♪ The dark half of the blue

♪ The one to who

♪ The Piledriver

♪ To get around the wind

♪ To shoot me out of a cannon

♪ To sing you a happy tune

♪ Tomorrow

♪ Tomorrow I'll be faster

♪ Tomorrow I'll be quicker

♪ Tomorrow I'll be stronger

♪ Trying to even out some deficit

♪ Trying to save the youth without putting your shoes on

♪ Who's going to sit and sing to you

♪ Whoever's hand it was

♪ You got a lift between the pitfalls

♪ You look like you've been for breakfast

♪ You look like you've been for breakfast

♪ You surrendered

♪ You'll find a way to spit it out again

♪ You'll find a way to spit it out again

♪ Your comfortable shoes

♪ Your comfortable shoes

♪ Your fingers dimming the lights

♪ Your fingers dimming the lights

♪ Your waitress was miserable

♪ Your waitress was miserable