The Road to El Dorado Edit

A boat? [ Tulio ] Yeah.

A long piece of iron with a hooky thing at the end. Yeah?

A map of the wonders of the new world.

A meager celebration.

A one, two, three.

A sacrifice, as it is prophesied.

A temple of gold where you can pluck gold from the very walls.

A week? Hmm. Um...

Absolutely not. I've revised the whole thing. Okay, because...

Adios. [ Whinnies ]

After all, I'm sure you know...

After all, it worked so well last time. [ Gibberish ] Wait!

Ah, that's it.

Ah, then perhaps I could prepare a glorious feast for you tonight.

Ah! [ Sniffing ]

Ah.

Ah.

Aha! Got it. [ Chuckles ]

Ahh! Hmm.

Ahhh! Whew!

All in favor of getting back in the boat, say "aye."

All right, peewee. You're on! Not with those!

All right! Cuba!

All right! Temple.

All right. All right. Wait!

All right. Cards on the table.

All right. We lie low.

All you have to do is find a pry bar.

All you have to do is smile, act godly and follow my lead.

Altivo, I'm coming! Miguel!

Altivo! Huh? Miguel!

Altivo.

Am I? Whoo.

An adventure. [ Sobbing ]

And I am Tulio. [ Murmuring Continues ]

And I know what you are not!

And I've got mine.

And if it's any consolation, Tulio, [ Sniffles ]

And no one will even remember us.

And now it's my turn!

And now, you will, of course, wish to have the losing team...

And our plan, uh, calls for a boat, 'cause we're gonna ascend...

And power... and...

And so dawns the Age of the Jaguar.

And that, um... the pointy, tall, um...

And then enslaved on the sugar plantations...

And then we go back to Spain. And buy Spain!

And then we row back to Spain like there's no manana!

And then we're gonna go vertical, uh, as we get further out to sea.

And they call us Miguel and Tulio!

And this city will be cleansed.

And we we we should really, you know... Get... on...

And we'll both get what we want!

And what have we done to show our gratitude?

And what? Taken all the real big rocks?

And you are not gods!

And you don't want that!

And, of course, we'll make them fear us by...

Any... regrets?

Apparently, "El Dorado" is native for... [ Muttering ]

Approaching the city... is an army of strangers. [ Weapons Firing ]

Are you nuts? We'd be butchered alive!

Arrest him! He tricked these sailors and took their money!

As the prophesies foretold,

As you ordered, my lord. [ Man ] Get back in!

At least I'm not dating mine.

Audios, muchacho! [ Chuckles ]

Aye! Aye! Go! [ Nickers ]

Back to Spain, yeah? Yeah.

Badda bing, budda boom, you know what I mean.

Because gods don't bleed.

Because the high priest is nuts! He wants...

Before we strike you with a lightning bolt. Mmm. Mmmm!

Besides dying? Yeah.

Besides, we're supposed to be gods.

Beware the wrath of the gods! Begone! [ Clicking Sound ]

Big plans in the other world, huh?

Blackguard! Heathen!

Blood issue right away.

Blood! Blood! Oh, right.

Both is good.

Both. Both. [ Together ] Both.

Buenos Dias!

But all of the sacred writings say that you will devour the wicked and the unrighteous.

But I do hope they'll challenge you enough to make the game... interesting.

But I I couldn't.

But in your perfection, you cannot know how imperfect humans are.

But not with that. Ha! I prefer to fight fairly. Aha!

But you don't want to go, so let's...

But your plan was to run off and be all "Oh, look at me. Look at me. I'm a god."

But, my lord, anyone who disobeys your orders...

But, sire, they are being led by Tzekel Kan.

But, Tulio, this place is amazing! I mean, I wonder what's...

But, Tulio, we're the gods.

But, uh, some urgent business has come up...

But... But for the gods, uh, three days.

But... we don't have a map. We don't have a plan.

Call me, Chel, your new partner. Uh,

Can't do it.

Certainly acceptable. Yes, lovely. It'll do.

Chel is off limits, hmm? Bravo! Chel is off limits!

Chel, we're not on the horse! [ Chel Laughing ]

Chief Tanni! Chief Tanni!

Chief Tanni! Chief Tanni!

Chief, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but all in all, it is a complete do over.

Chief, you cannot fight them!

Citizens, did I not predict that the gods would come to us?

Cleansed? Yes.

Come on, baby. Papa needs that crappy map.

Come on, before he licks you to death.

Come on, Tulio. We'll follow that trail! What trail?

Come on! Get on!

Come on. We've got a wave to catch.

Come. Let me show you to your temple.

Congratulations. You're very good. No. That was good.

Cortes!

Crush them into the dust. [ Chuckles ]

Dazzle 'em with some smoke and mirrors and then get the hell back to Spain.

Deal?

Deal. Mmm. [ Plate Clattering ]

Deal. Not yet. Let's just see how this works out.

Demands...

Did any of the supplies make it?

Dinner is served. Hello.

Divinity! One moment. [ Chuckles ]

Do you know why the gods demand blood?

Do you wish to have your victims bound to an altar, or would you prefer them free range?

Don't worry about it. To err is human, to forgive... Hmm.

Duck!

Eh! [ Crunch ]

El Dorado, the city of gold. [ Sighs ]

Enjoy. [ Crowd Chanting ] Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Enough! You do not question... the gods!

Even if I have to do it myself.

Even those mountains. You said so yourself:

Everything is... fine.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me?

Excuse me. We're you going to say "worse"?

Excuse us, won't you? Let's go.

Excuse us. Okay. We're outta here.

Family matters... and it's just a bit... Yeah, family.

Fantastic! Where is it? How far?

Fool! Such mediocrity.

For Pete's sake, Miguel, he's a ruthless warhorse, not a poodle.

For Spain, for glory, for gold! [ Crowd Clamoring ]

For the next... thousand years.

For the rest of your miserable lives.

For three days?

For three days. Don't even breathe. All right?

Forget the sacrifices. Miguel.

Get back into the boat and row back to Spain.

Get off the boat, Miguel, or you'll never see the city again.

Give me that! This ca What?

Go ahead. I'll cover for you.

God willing, you will be flogged some more...

Gods. Oh. This is gonna to be tougher than I thought. Tulio, relax!

Gods... command.

Good morning, my lords!

Got that. And? Tulio! Well, here's the "goat," and here's the "bate."

Great! Good. Okay.

Great. Sensational. And that that's your plan, is it?

Guard, arrest him! You dare to impugn my honor?

Guys, it's here! It's right here with me!

Ha!

Happy new year. [ Chuckles ]

Have no need for you anymore!

Have you lost your mind? Help is coming!

He can't understand "pry bar." [ Clattering Continues ]

He gave me loaded dice! [ Crowd Murmurs ]

He survived! Warriors, prepare yourselves for battle!

He was the one who was cheating!

He's a dumb horse. There's no way...

He's back! Oh, no.

He's loose! What am I gonna do?

Heep ha! Heep ha! Heep ha! Heep ha!

Hello? Whoa!

Here. [ Whimpers ]

Here's an order: Take the day off. Huh?

Here's the gate. Here's the boat. Okay.

Hey, Altivo! Ah ta ta, not for you!

Hey, Altivo.

Hey, but I tell you what, I'm feeling generous, so you can have my share!

Hey, Chel, um, what are they doing?

Hey, guys, come on!

Hey, Miguel! I could use a little help!

Hey, not bad for my first commandment, huh? [ Laughs ]

Hey, over here, you big Tzekel Kan cat creep!

Hey, to err is human.

Hey, what happened to Miguel? I don't know.

Hey, where is everybody?

Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey. Hey.

Hey.

Hijack one of those longboats,

Hijack one of those longboats... Uh, great.

Hmm?

Hmm? [ Dice Clattering ]

Hmm? Hmm? I like it here. Miguel?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. [ Chuckling ] Not with the face. No, no, no, no, no.

Hmm. [ Firing Continues ]

Hmm. Hmm.

Hmm. This is not what I expected.

Hmm. To build a boat large and glorious enough...

Ho o ly ship!

Hold on!

Hold the line steady! They're almost in place!

How about... we forget the plan? Hmm?

How dare you! Hey, it was his stupid plan!

How do I look?

How long does this go on anyway?

How would you have us punish her? Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

How'd you get those? Where was she keeping them?

Huh? [ Sputtering ]

Huh? Huh? [ Whinnying ]

Huh? I am Miguel. [ Murmuring ]

I am Chief Tannabok. What names may we call you?

I don't know. [ Grunts ]

I don't like this. Tulio, we've got to do something.

I fought your sister. That's a compliment.

I have been around boats, believe me,

I I'll tell you what. Uh, I'll let you come back to Spain with us,

I just thought that, after all, since El Dorado is the city of gold...

I know what you are,

I know. You don't think I'm gonna let you have all the fun, do you?

I never... had enough... gold.

I realize it's a bit uneven, [ Warriors ] Heep ha!

I said one more roll!

I thought she just said she wanted in?

I want you to want... what you want. Mm hmm?

I will cut you to ribbons,

I will give you the honor of a quick and painless death.

I will. It will be loquacious to a fault! Ha! Take that!

I wonder how long it would take Tzekel Kan to do it.

I wouldn't be playing with loaded dice.

I wouldn't set foot in that jungle for a million pesetas!

I... Ooh, low blow.

I... What... We...

I'll begin the necessary preparations immediately.

I'll bet we can make that. [ Men Shouting ]

I'm fine. Good.

I'm getting something. Yeah.

I'm going with you. [ Laughs ]

I'm not coming on!

I'm okay!

I'm on the verge of... Stop! [ Echoing ]

I'm sorry about that girl in Barcelona.

I'm still okay!

I'm trying! I'm trying! I can't think with all these distractions!

I'm warning you, don't push your luck with this guy.

I'm... not really sure I trust you.

I've got a plan.

I've never heard of such a thing.

If you had just listened to me! [ Grunts ]

If you wish to stay,

In a rowboat. You got it!

In the dead of night, you and I grab some provisions,

In the dead of night, you and I grab some provisions, Mm hm.

Is everything okay? [ Cheering Continues ]

Is keep playing the o against the other.

It better be there, for your sake.

It coul be possible. And it is!

It is! It's... It's... It's... It's... It's...

It needs more... body. [ Grunts ]

It really is... the map to El Dorado! [ Panting ]

It seems I've been giving a lot of orders, haven't I?

It worked. [ Chuckling ] It worked.

It would be my privilege to point them out.

It's beautiful, isn't it? Yeah!

It's not called the Age of the Jaguar for nothing.

It's time to take the future into my own hands,

J Just Just Just... [ Groans ]

Ju Ju Just for a second imagine that you have one.

Just hang on! I'm right here, old boy!

Just turn the boat!

Kind of in a horizontal pattern at first. [ Chuckles ]

Ladies and gentlemen, we've decided it's a draw.

Let your sword do the talking.

Let's follow that trail!

Let's go. [ Sighs ]

Let's not make it personal, okay?

Like he says, the stars...

Like snakes they are. Spineless and slippery. [ Hissing ]

Like you don't wanna go to Spain.

Like you wanted, and, um, yeah, I can see my way clear to throwing you,

Listen carefully. [ Gasps ]

Listen, all we have to do...

Listen, if we can ever return the favor...

Listen, Mr. High and Mighty, we'd both be sailing out of here with a mountain of gold...

Look on the positive side. At least things can't get...

Look, sweetheart, we're in the middle of a con here,

Look, Tzekel Kan, Uh, Miguel?

Loop the rope under the horse! Yes!

Lord Miguel has decided to live among us!

Me too. Okay.

Mighty and powerful gods. Gods.

Miguel, how are we gonna keep this up for three days? [ Yawns ]

Miguel, if I believed in fate,

Miguel, the little voice... [ Stammers ]

Miguel, we can't stay here. [ Chuckling ]

Miguel, you know that little voice people have...

Miguel, you're talking to a horse! [ Hooves Clattering ]

Miguel! Hello!

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. Go on.

Mm mm mmm! Maybe they should call this place "Chel Dorado."

Mmm, I'm not really asking you to trust me.

Mmm, ten percent?

Mmm.

Mmm. ♪ Friends never say good bye

Mmm. Ah!

Mmm. As the...

Mmm. Wait a minute. New plan.

Mostly me. Especially me.

Move! Move!

Must be punished, as you ordered.

My crew was as carefully chosen as the disciples of Christ. [ Cracks Knuckles ]

My lord, I am not a thief.

My lord, these people will not respect you if they do not fear you.

My lord, you are perfect.

My lord.

My lord. [ Chuckles ]

My lords,

My lords, Chief Tannabok's warriors are the finest ballplayers in the city.

My lords, does this please you?

My lords, how long will you be staying in El Dorado?

My lords, may the people of El Dorado offer you our tribute.

My lords, why now do you choose to visit us? [ Scoffs ]

My lords. My lords.

My map against your cash.

My only wish is to serve the gods.

My regret, besides dying, is...

Nice going.

No o o o o!

No, ah, ah, ah, ah. Promise?

No, I worry exactly the right amount.

No, no, no, not with the face. Stop.

No, no. This is it. [ Stammering ]

No, you the god. Fine. No, you de god.

No! Don't even move!

No! Don't think so.

No! No! Big trouble. [ Gasps ]

No! No! No! [ Whimpering, Panting ]

No.

No.

No. No, no. W We want tribute.

No. No. No? You're sure?

No. Wait. Wait.

Not again.

Not bad for a day's work, eh? Not bad at all.

Not now, not ever! [ Crowd Cheering ]

Not today.

Now everyone will know the truth of your divinity.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to gloat over my gold. [ Giggling ]

Now, put Chel in the mix. What is the voice saying?

Now, put these on.

O mighty lords!

Of adventure? You've got your reasons,

Of course we do! Visit your wrath upon this nonbeliever!

Of course. I should probably consult with Lord Miguel.

Off limits. Mm. Mm. [ Both ] Mmmm.

Oh, Altivo. Oh, thank you, old boy.

Oh, and of course you know all about Xibalba.

Oh, Chief, um, forget about the rope.

Oh, good. Thanks. ♪ [ Tulio Singing, Indistinct ]

Oh, like you don't want me to want to go to Spain.

Oh, Miguel is right. You worry too much.

Oh, my God! ♪ It's tough to be a god

Oh, my God! He's gone! Miguel's gone!

Oh, my...

Oh, no, I can't. I have to go back with Tulio.

Oh, no, no! [ Sobbing ]

Oh, no, you don't.

Oh, no! It's all right. Please.

Oh, no. Don't worry about me, boys.

Oh, now I'm the thief? Yes.

Oh, perhaps if you were not burdened with so much tribute,

Oh, shut up.

Oh, Tzekel Kan!

Oh, uh... Well, you...

Oh, we expected you to be staying with us...

Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, down, down, down, down. ♪ [ Humming ]

Oh, you better give them that money back, or I'll...

Oh, yum, yum, yum.

Oh! Oh! Oh! [ Giggles ]

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Ooh. [ Moans ]

Ohh! [ Chuckles ]

Ohh! [ Chuckling ]

Ohhh, great!

Okay, Chief, on my signal!

Okay, here's the gate. Here's the boat. Uh huh. And?

Okay, Miguel, we gotta move fast.

Okay, what's your idea, smart guy?

Okay! Here's the plan.

Okay. So, uh, who are you?

On impact, everybody jump!

On the count of three, pull back on the rope.

On the one hand, gold!

On the other hand, painful, agonizing failure!

On three, we jump out and head for the dock. Good. Good. Excellent.

Only me. Forget Miguel.

Ooh hoo hoo.

Ooh, yeah.

Ooh.

Ooh. My, my, my, my, my.

Or piece by piece?

Or we shall have to unleash our awesome and terrible power!

Our greatest adventure is over before it began,

Partner.

Partner.

Perhaps it is possible I misread... the heavens.

Perhaps Lord Tulio will enlighten me.

Pet him, and... I'll... Yeah.

Play ball! [ Crowd Cheering ]

Ready! Hit the pillars!

Really?

Release her, don't ya think? [ Villagers Gasp ]

Right here! Here. Where? Behind the rock?

Right. Uh, excuse me.

Run!

Sacrifice!

Sacrificed to your glory. [ Crowd Gasping ]

Save it for the high priest, honey. You're gonna need it.

See, the gods sent me a vision...

Seven! [ Groans ]

Seven! All right!

Shake on it.

She wants in so she can get out.

Shh, shh. Shh. Quiet, please.

Show me seven!

Show us the truth of your divinity!

Smile while you can.

So the Age of the Jaguar can begin,

So the city can be cleansed, as you ordered.

So when you guys are ready to go back to...

So, how do we get on deck? Umm.

So, I'm sorry. So sorry.

So, uh, how's the... How's the escape plan coming?

So, what happened to Altivo? I don't know.

So... You... You, f... [ Man ] Behold!

Sorry. We were just looking. We're, uh...

Spinning webs of lies, like spiders!

Step aside.

Stop it! That's disgusting.

Stop that!

Stop!

Stop! There will be no sacrifices! [ Laughing ]

Take a look in the mirror, pal!

Take the tribute to the gods' temple!

Thank you.

That tells them to quit when they're ahead?

That trail that we blaze!

That's it, Altivo, find the pry bar.

That's it? I mean... But... [ Scoffs ]

That's partner in training. ♪ [ Humming ]

That's pretty much it. Well, I like it.

That's right! Do not question us,

That's your plan? But the gold!

The beginning of a new era, the dawning of a new age...

The game is over when the shadow touches this line.

The god's deserve a proper tribute! [ Crowd Gasping ]

The gods are speaking for themselves now!

The gods deserve a proper tribute. [ Chittering ]

The gods have changed their minds about Xibalba.

The gods have chosen!

The gods should not be playing ball like this!

The history of the Age of the Jaguar will be written in... Ink?

The horse is a surprise. [ Nickers ]

The horse!

The little voice... Remember the little voice?

The mast? The mast, yes, yes. The mast is good.

The proper rituals for blessing a tribute, the holiest days on the calendar...

The scoundrel! Tulio, you...

The spirit world. I'll take care of it.

The stars are not in position for this tribute!

The the the the long up and down thing...

The time of judgment is now!

The trail that we blaze!

The whistling rock! The stream!

Then how can we stop them?

Then you don't want to get caught, right?

There are dark magics here...

There is no El Dorado here. Onward, men.

There they are! [ Hooves Screeching ]

There they are. [ Men Shouting ]

There will be no sacrifices!

There's no scam! Why would you think there's a...

There's nothing here at all.

There's your plan and then... there's the gods' plan. Mm hmm.

These... these are the ones... problem. Oh. Thank you.

They are as untrustworthy as rats, stealing and cheating with no remorse.

They wish to bask in the reverence that has been shown them.

They're beyond disgusting!

They're not gonna make it. Altivo!

They're sending it to Xibalba, the spirit world.

They've been cleared from the streets, my lord,

This city and these people...

This city has been granted a great blessing.

This could be our destiny, our fate.

This is a real... Mmm.

This is fairly important stuff. I, um, should discuss the entire, uh,

This is not a proper tribute! [ Moaning ]

This time we use my dice. Ehh, got a problem with that?

This way.

This'll be a delightful way to bid the false gods... good bye.

Tie him up!

To bring them tribute from the temple to guide them here.

To commemorate your arrival, I propose a reverent ceremony at dawn.

To conquer the new world...

To its rightful place.

To load up on the gold and then get the hell out of here!

To the brig.

To Xibalba?

Today, we sail... [ Nickers ]

Tulio, did you ever imagine it would end like this?

Tulio, I just want you to know...

Tulio, we'll be living like kings!

Tulio!

Tulio!

Tulio! Hey, it worked!

Tulio! The hip! The hip!

Tulio! We've done it!

Tulio. Tulio. They actually think we're gods.

Tzekel Kan has made your commands clear, my lord.

Tzekel, you've lost me.

Uh huh. Well, then I suppose that means you'll want these back?

Uh, come on. Give me... Give me a boost.

Uh, guys, you're broke!

Uh, hello. Is this your rock?

Uh, how? [ Grunts ]

Uh, I want you to come to Spain with me and Miguel.

Uh, it's just that, uh... Tulio, tell him.

Uh, lucky god?

Uh, one moment, please.

Uh, Tulio!

Uh, well, thanks a lot! [ Bull Bellowing ]

Uh...

Uhh... Ohh...

Um, but, uh, is it really fit for the gods?

Um, my mistake.

Um, rope.

Um, Tulio, how are we gonna get all this back to Spain?

Um, we really hate to be ascending so soon,

Ummm...

Vertical ascension requires a lot more, uh, rope.

Very... [ Snort ]

Wait! [ Echoing ]

Wait! Ho... Would you... Hold it.

Wait! No, wait!

Wait. Get down! Ouch. Ow.

Walking the razor's edge.

We are partners. We are partners.

We are safe here. They'll never find the gate to the city.

We can't.

We don't want any sacrifices.

We find the city of gold. We take the gold,

We have a plan, remember?

We have a plan, remember? Get the gold. Go back to Spain.

We have to grab what we can carry and get out of here now! What? Why?

We have to think about this. We've come all this way,

We just became richer than the king of Spain. [ Laughing ]

We just have to keep this up long enough...

We just have to lie low.

We must avoid giving in to temptation.

We need a miracle. No, we need to cheat.

We should have kept our swords, I think. Y Yeah.

We were merely demonstrating the, um, traditional, uh, first avoidance maneuver.

We'll crash the boat into the pillars.

We're both in barrels. That's the extent of my knowledge.

We're finally at the "go back to Spain and live like kings" part.

We're gonna have to hit it broadside!

We're there. Oh, yeah. We found it. We found it? Oh!

We're tourists! Tourist.

We're... We're partners.

Well, as we say in the spirit world,

Well, don't blame me. I blame you.

Well, forget Tulio.

Well, give it to him before he wakes the whole ship! [ Bellowing ]

Well, good luck.

Well, I don't see anyone here who fits that description.

Well, if it's any consolation, Miguel,

Well, if that's the best you can do.

Well, is it ready yet?

Well, isn't king kind of a step down from god?

Well, it's not a pry bar.

Well, look at it. [ Stammering ] There's not nearly enough, uh,

Well, maybe I don't need you anymore.

Well, no, no, no, no, no...

Well, now you've got all the precious gold and Chel. So what do you need me for?

Well, that's what makes it interesting.

Well, then, I better go get some more rope, huh?

Well, then, why don't you just go back to Spain, and I'll stay here,

Well, uh, yes and no. [ Crunching Sound ]

Well, well, well,

Were you not supposed to put the ball into play?

Wh Wh What do you mean? Don't ask me that! You're the one with the plans.

What a glorious day for El Dorado.

What about the gold? Well... [ Sobbing ]

What are you doing? Stop that!

What brings you here? I I I I I humbly request an audience with you, my lord.

What have we here?

What hoop? That hoop.

What is it? Uh, well... Uh, you...

What is the object of this game, pray tell?

What would it be saying about Chel?

What? [ Gasps ] Three!

What? [ Jaguar Roaring ]

What? Wh Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What? You gave me loaded dice?

What's that? The map? It's all right here!

What's the matter with him? Oh, he wants his apple.

Where did you get this?

Wherever you came from,

Which would you prefer?

Who invented this game?

Who o o oa!

Who ordered the, uh, pickles? [ Sailor Laughing ]

Who's the god? You de god.

Whoa, she's trouble! Wait a minute! What?

Whoa! [ Groans ]

Whoa! Who o oa!

Why, the gods, [ Chuckles ] of course. [ Chuckles ]

Would take... about a week.

Wow! Let's have a look. [ Scoffs ]

Y... You're not a god?

Yeah, fine.

Yeah, uh, what's your angle? [ Laughs ] No angle.

Yeah, yeah, way beyond. Then we're in agreement.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, all right.

Yeah! That's the spirit!

Yeah. You too.

Yeow! Your horse bit me in the butt!

Yep, yep. Three days is just fine.

Yep. Big plans.

Yes, but they're getting suspicious.

Yes, find the pry bar. [ Whinnying ]

Yes, nice. But?

Yes! [ Laughs ]

Yes! And we are pretending to be gods.

Yes. Yes, it was. And, um,

You can never worry too much.

You could leave sooner.

You don't have one! Well, I'm sorry. I got carried away!

You don't think Cortes could've gotten here before us and...

You don't wanna stay here forever, do you?

You drank seawater, didn't you? Oh, come on!

You kept the map, but you couldn't grab a little more food?

You know, do a little god dance, chant some mystic mumbo jumbo,

You know, Lord Miguel,

You know, speaking of kings, the chief and high priest seem a bit, uh, tense.

You know, you really shouldn't miss it. I know.

You lied to me?

You lying heathen.

You made my life... rich. [ Sobbing Continues ]

You only need to say so.

You still have the map?

You want a nice apple? Come and get it.

You will be flogged. And when we put into Cuba to resupply,

You worry too much.

You... Horse... Think horse. Think, think, think.

You... made my life...

You're buying your own con!

You're on half rations. Orders from Cortes.

You're on!

You're right! What are we waiting for?

You've gotta knock the ball through the hoop.

Your devoted high priest and speaker for the gods.

Your dice are loaded!

Your public's waiting. ♪ [ Continues ]

"Ck ck." Are you serious? [ Whinnies ]

[ All Gasping ] [ Bellowing ]

[ All Gasping ] [ Chittering ]

[ All Gasping ] [ Gasps ]

[ All Gasping ] [ Snorting ]

[ Altivo Whinnying ] [ Chittering ]

[ Both ] Huh? [ All Grunting ]

[ Both ] Hyah! [ Whinnying ]

[ Both ] Yes! [ Horn Sounding ]

[ Both Gasp ] [ Altivo Whinnies ]

[ Both Shout ] [ Gasps ]

[ Cheering ] [ Groaning ]

[ Chief Laughing ] [ Chuckling, Panting ]

[ Crowd Chanting, Indistinct ] [ All ] Huh?

[ Crowd Cheering ] [ Grunts ]

[ Crowd Murmuring ] No. No.

[ Evil Chuckling ] [ Both ] All right!

[ Explosions ] [ Chattering ]

[ Gasps ] [ Chittering ]

[ Gasps ] [ Gasps ]

[ Gasps ] ♪ [ Strums ]

[ Giggling ] ♪ Friends never say

[ Groans ] [ Whinnies ]

[ Growls ] Altivo, get Chel out of here.

[ Grunting ] Bye.

[ Grunting, Gasps ] [ Whinnying ]

[ Grunts ] [ Both Grunt ]

[ Guard ] Move! Hey, stop that!

[ Guard ] There they are! Two pesetas says we can't.

[ Horn Sounds ] Excuse me?

[ Laughing ] [ Laughing ]

[ Laughing ] Depart, mortal,

[ Laughing ] Whoo hoo hoo!

[ Man ] A map! A map? A map!

[ Man ] Kill him! Not the face. Not the face.

[ Men Shouting ] [ Both Gasping ]

[ Metallic Clattering ] [ Both Gasping ]

[ Mutters ] And will you be devouring their essence whole...

[ Purrs ] No. No. Listen.

[ Roaring ] What?

[ Roaring Continues ] [ Both Gasp ] Jump!

[ Roars ] [ Both Yelling ]

[ Scoffs ] [ Cheering Continues ]

[ Screeching ] [ Drunken Whinnying ]

[ Stammering ] Stay! I gotta... I...

[ Tulio ] Half? Mm hmm.

[ Tulio ] It's an entire city of suckers. [ Miguel Laughing ]

[ Warriors Chanting ] [ Footsteps Rumbling ]

[ Whimpering ] Aha! I see you've captured this temple robbing thief.

[ Whinnying ] [ Shouts ]

[ Women Cheering ] Hmm.

[ Yelling ] [ Whimpers ]

[ Yells ] [ Gasps ]

♪ Or stuffed You have a point there. Very good thinking.

A little, but... Come on. Hey! Hey! Hey!

All right. Shoot. [ Clears Throat ]

And I will not tolerate stowaways. [ Gulps ]

And if we don't come up with some mega cosmic event... [ Rumbling ]

Are you all right? [ Panting ]

Cortes. My lord, what is it?

D'oh. D'oh. [ Murmuring ]

En garde! En garde, yourself.

Excuse us, for one moment, please. Tulio, look!

Fetch! [ Whinnying ] Huh?

Fine! Ouch. Okay!

Get out of the way! Huh?

Get out! [ Gasps ]

Heep... Haaa!

Hello? The high priest. Ow!

Hello. [ Both Gasping, Whimpering ]

Hey, Chel, what's going on? It's not gonna be good.

How about a hundred million? What?

How? Well, if you guys want the gold,

I know! [ Gasps ]