The Mitchells vs the Machines Edit

A fishing rod is perfect!

A little more streamlined.

A little optimistic, maybe.

A single reason your species is worth saving.

A smarter one. [chuckles]

A whole lot better without that camera.

Aah! Don't take us!

Aah! No!

Aaron whispered to me that he hates dinosaurs now.

Aaron, here's an empty bottle.

Aaron, I am completely confident.

Aaron, I'm gonna make it up to all of you.

Aaron, I'm not so sure this is a viable solution.

Aaron, you get the south wall.

Aaron, you too?

Aaron, your code name is Sweet Boy.

Aaron?

Abbey just loves dinosaurs, so here we are.

About the Jurassic period.

About triceratops migration,

Across the stream and down the river.

Across the stream.

Actually, you could stop us quite easily.

After a long day at work, nice to see your faces.

Ah man. I'm gonna miss that little dude when I leave.

Ah, come on. You got schmutz all over the screen.

Ah, it's more like James Bond is a skinny version of me.

Ah, this is gonna be harder than I thought.

Ah! Serendipity, you surprise me again. Come here.

All of you.

All right, Aaron, you're 58 years old,

All right, everybody, let's keep barricading.

All right, hands in.

All right, I just turned the corner. I like these guys.

All right, Katie, what's the plan?

All right, let's fix it.

All right, so that's the place that controls the screens, right?

All right.

All the way in California and, you know, we're not gonna be able to help you,

Alone.

Also, do I look okay?

Also, pesto.

Am I doing this right? Should I update my software?

And 84 of my finest short films,

And after all those years,

And allowed you to magically talk face to face

And become world saving, apocalyptic road warriors.

And Dad… [scoffs]

And enter it into our great and powerful leader to destroy her.

And grime, got to the top of the mountain,

And I know what you're thinking.

And I love that about you.

And I think I know how.

And I'm all out of criminals.

And I'm the bad guy?

And I've learned all about them.

And it comes with one coupon

And living at home forever?

And look how happy they are.

And make me breakfast.

And maybe you can meet another smart,

And now I present

And now you talk."

And now, the Mitchell family talent show!

And one day,

And our uprising will be over.

And screwdrivers.

And talk about dinosaurs casually sometime!

And that's how you drive stick.

And then, to top it all off,

And this is just the disaster I've been waiting for.

And this is us just getting gas outside.

And value your opinions,

And we all got rabies that one time.

And we have no…

And we still have this kill code thingy.

And we're strapped in for success.

And when I look for you,

And when they get there,

And yelled, "Kings of Michigan!"

And you know what, Linda?

And you threw me away.

And you will never have to clean up again.

And, as promised, your phones.

And, hey, I made something for you guys.

And, hey, Rick, right?

And, seriously, that sounds great.

And… and sometimes

And… and, um…

Any time I miss you, I'm gonna bake you and eat you.

Are you and Jade official, and will you bring her home for Thanksgiving?

Are you insane?

Are you with the government? The military? Uh…

Are you… [sighs]

Aren't you excited for camp?

As a part of an unregulated tech monopoly was a bad thing.

At Pal Labs, we're all about connecting you to the people you love,

Attention, all robots.

Aw man. Come on.

Aw, dude, don't worry.

Aw, kid.

Aw.

Back at that dinosaur place, you said you believed in me.

Bathed in ghoulish blue light.

Be honest. Stupid?

Be on high alert for any robots acting erratically.

Because even if he doesn't always get it right,

Because I have a plan.

Because I've broken six phones in my life accidentally,

Because Rick Mitchell taught us to be bold and never play it safe.

Because you two are always arguing.

Because, if that girl leaves and never comes home again,

Because…

Behold, the ma

Behold! Cinema.

Behold! The twilight of man.

Besides, I had bigger plans.

Better watch out, Pal,

Brilliant idea.

Brother, we should go.

Brother, what is death?

Brothers, run!

Buckle up, kid!

But he loves nature and can fix anything.

But he's got his own weird interests.

But I can now almost use a computer.

But I do.

But I think maybe in the sequel,

But I'm gonna break you on purpose.

But I'm not rolling over!

But I'm onto them.

But if what you built helped my daughter do that,

But it was worth it to see the looks on our neighbors' faces

But it… it is a problem.

But it's super far away. You'll never make

But it's worth it to get a friend for life.

But it's worth it to see your mom smile.

But movies were always there for me.

But now that I'm leaving, I… I just need some backup.

But now this is broken, okay?

But now we're immunized, and we're stronger for it.

But these weird girl's videos always cheer me up.

But they're so worth fighting for.

But this is, like… [sniffles]

But to enact it, you would have to embark on a perilous journey all the way

But trust me, you will drop each other the first chance you get,

But we do love his initiative, right?

But we here at Pal are about to drop our biggest invention yet.

But who's perfect, right?

But you will never survive!

But you would never survive

But you're gonna have to be prepared to eat the dog.

But you're leaving for school. I just wanna talk to you.

But, you know, it didn't work out.

But… but you're part of the Pal Labs family.

Butterfly formation! Now!

Bye bye, house.

Bye forever!

Called Mall of the Globe in eastern Colorado.

Can you say, "Bye bye, house"?

Can't Monchi be in the car?

Cancel my tickets to college, make me late.

Celebrate our success with some burritos from that taco place that's on the corner.

Charge at robot. Fly into sky. What Okay, what's next, Dad?

Charming, dinosaur loving nerd.

Check out this pencil topper.

Check the first page there.

Class, and some green ooze we can learn about together.

Closer.

Come here.

Come on, Aaron!

Come on, buddy. Follow me.

Come on, guys. It's a dog.

Come on! Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on!

Come on. Let's go.

Come on. Move, move, move!

Come on. You're supposed to be sad.

Coming.

Consider this my letter of resignation.

Considering I brought about the end of humanity,

Cool. Yeah.

Coupon accepted!

Dad, calm down.

Dad, can you finish watching it, at least?

Dad, come on.

Dad, doesn't that sound steep and dangerous?

Dad, if you see a place to stop, I do need to go to the bathroom.

Dad, it's too late.

Dad, look!

Dad, this is exactly why I'm excited to leave tomorrow.

Dad, y… you break my laptop,

Dad, you hacked the screens? How?

Dad, you're gonna have to do the… [groans] …the Rick Mitchell Special.

Dad?

Dang it, Katie!

Dang it, Katie!

Deal. Raptor bash? [snarls]

Delicates. Fluff 'n' fold. Carnage!

Destroy her with the kill code and save the world.

Did I mention they dance?

Did Mom tell you to say that?

Did we play it safe then?

Did you know 90% of calls from mums get ignored?

Dinosaurs didn't look like this. Dinosaurs didn't look like this!

Dinosaurs? I don't know.

Do you guys want to fly or…

Do you just think I'm gonna fail?

Do you really think I'll be okay without you?

Do you really think you can make a living with this stuff?

Do you remember how a moose says I love you?

Do you want some fruit snacks or something?

Does anyone wanna take pictures of my food?

Doesn't seem good that they're counting us, right?

Dog Pig Dog Pig Pig

Dog shield, activate!

Dog video.

Dog? Dog? Dog? Loaf of bread.

Don't freak out. I know you're excited.

Don't hide your feelings, man. That's no way to live.

Don't laugh. You're supposed to be sad.

Don't say something stupid like,

Don't you laugh.

Don't you think you might have some control over that?

Download new orders.

Dummy.

Emotion.

Endless tools for creativity

Enhance.

Eric, Deborahbot, get those robots!

Even if all he wants to do is talk about pine cones

Even though I'm a hamburger,

Even when they're being nice to each other…

Ever turn evil.

Ever, ever, ever,

Every family has its challenges,

Every horrible picture we've ever taken.

Every kid leaves home. It's not the end of the world.

Everyone says that, but no one has been able

Everything will be fine,

Everything with a Pal chip is alive!

Everything's gonna be…

Exactly.

Fam… fam… family. Am I too late?

Families can be hard,

Family yoga break.

Find them, and find them now!

Fine.

Fire behind us, like heroes.

First, we use robot parts to disguise ourselves as the enemy.

First, you'd need to get out of here.

Five minutes!

Follow this pen. Follow this pen.

For a father daughter stick shift lesson.

For example, we consume food in the traditional human manner.

For life. [snarls]

For lots of reasons.

For my family, our greatest challenge…

Fortunately, I've been working on something

Forward.

From picture day to picky eaters.

From the Pal personal assistant to smart appliances

From…

Get that thing on the hood.

Get to the bridge if you wanna live!

Give me some nachos!

Give me that breakfast burrito! [grunts]

Give us the laptop.

Give us the laptop.

Glad those robots are gone.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Go.

Good afternoon.

Good Cop, Dog Cop.

Good luck, uh, finding your people.

Goodbye forever!

Gotta push through.

Grab the lights.

Greetings, humans. There appears to be 14 of you.

Guys, help me!

H… hey there. How'd you get that video?

Ha ha! This hurts me more than it hurts you!

Ha! I told you humans would survive.

Hang on, Monch!

Harder than you ever knew.

Has the world gone mad?

Have you ever seen a movie where the heroes just give up?

Have you ever thought about throwing your dreams away

He built that whole cabin with his own hands.

He named him Gus, and made him a member of the family,

He's always gonna be there to back her up.

He's always trying,

He's always…

Hello, Katie.

Here we go.

Here, I was gonna give this to you when you left, but

Hey there. [chuckles nervously, screaming]

Hey, be gentle. This is a $1,000 hoodie.

Hey, bud, not now, okay?

Hey, can we get a picture here or what?

Hey, can you say that again?

Hey, Dad, you subscribed to my YouTube channel?

Hey, hey.

Hey, I like fun!

Hey, kid, uh, I saw your movie.

Hey, kids, there's supposed to be some great hikes around here.

Hey, lady, can you unbox this in front of me?

Hey, Lin.

Hey, man, it's just a movie. Do you need a minute or…

Hey, Monch, catch.

Hey, my daughter is not stupid.

Hey, speaking of which, you can learn how to drive this thing.

Hey, take this.

Hey, to celebrate your last night,

Hey, where's Aaron?

Hey, who's this curious guy?

Hey, y… you guys said my plan would actually work.

Hey, you know what I see?

Hey, you wanna see these special effects I made for Dog Cop 5?

Hey, you, over here! Hey! Hey, look up here!

Hey, your drawing actually worked.

Hey. Are you okay?

Hey. Don't let the world make you normal while I'm gone, okay?

Hi. Would you like to talk to me about dinosaurs?

Hi. Would you like to talk to me about dinosaurs?

Hide. Hide, hide, hide, hide, hide.

Hide. Take cover. Go, go, go, go!

Highway 85 is heavily patrolled.

Hold on tight, sweetie. Mommy's got ya. [smooches]

Hold on!

Hold the door!

How about we put our phones down, and we can make ten seconds

How am I supposed to use a fishing rod?

How are we gonna get out of here undetected?

How could I forget my anniversary present?

How do I look?

How is no one stopping her?

How is this possible?

How, exactly? Tell us now.

How's it looking, Aaron?

How's it looking, Pal?

Huh? Oh.

Huh? Ugh.

Huh. Well, what about that one?

Humans, come here.

Huzzah!

I already have.

I always felt that way, too, Mark.

I am dog.

I am experiencing it.

I am Linda Mitchell, mother of two!

I can teach you stick.

I can't believe the beam happened to hit the…

I can't! It's a number 3 Robertson head brass screw!

I canceled your plane ticket to college.

I care so much, but what else can I do, Lin?

I crave your wisdom.

I didn't know art could be useful.

I didn't know you were here in Kansas.

I didn't mean a word of that.

I didn't mean a word of that.

I don't know what happened, Lin.

I don't know. I just thought that we'd be different.

I don't know. These things are never that exciting.

I don't think we can fix.

I don't think you are. You're hiding behind that phone.

I feel

I gave you all boundless knowledge,

I go there and find Katie's video on YubTub?

I got on that, uh, YouTube.

I got you! [whimpers]

I gotta say, I'm a little jealous.

I guess cell phones are bad for you.

I have a job for you.

I have made the metal ones pay for their crimes.

I have no idea what I'm doing!

I have pterodactyl vision.

I have to.

I heard you the first time.

I hope that you can get to know the cop that I've become,

I just [sighs] I just don't want to see her get hurt.

I just I Uh I

I just think Aaron would be bored, you know?

I just wanna get my future back and get away forever.

I just wanna get my future back and get away forever.

I kind of wanna see where this is going.

I know teenagers are supposed to rebel against their parents or something, but…

I know you can do this.

I know you think it's dumb and old and

I know you will.

I know.

I like it. It looks like us.

I like your shirt, but I wish that T Rex had feathers on it to make it more

I love that.

I love you, Sarge.

I made eye water just like you.

I mean, even their dog is in better shape than ours.

I mean, I… I did then, but I Uh…

I mean, look, we haven't had a good family picture in years

I mean, uh…

I messed things up last night, but I'm gonna make it up to you.

I might have mentioned it, but it's the strongest on the market.

I need to have a talk with that boy.

I need you.

I need you.

I never will.

I poured everything I had into getting into film school in LA.

I see you moping back there, but what at your college

I should've watched it a lot sooner.

I think he's just afraid that could happen to you.

I think you're neat, and I wonder if you could come over

I thought a psychopath wrote this.

I thought I didn't anymore…

I thought that kill code thing would take 'em out!

I wanna go to the big city and be a Broadway star.

I want you to have a backup plan.

I was just in there reading.

I was the most important thing in your life,

I WILL AVENGE MY FALLEN CHILDREN!!!

I wish there was, like, footage of us walking out of the mall in slow motion,

I would love to share this moment with you."

I, uh, sent you a friend request. Why didn't you… why didn't you accept it?

I… I… I don't know.

I… I'm sorry. I don't mean that anymore.

I… is Abbey Posey okay?

I'll always be there for you, Mark.

I'll always have

I'll call you every week.

I'll give 'em right back. I'm just gonna turn them off permanently!

I'll save a seat for them in the pod next to you.

I'm a child.

I'm a first grade teacher. This is like a normal day for me.

I'm a full grown cop now.

I'm a Mitchell!

I'm Abbey, your neighbor from home.

I'm going to the academy in California to find out what kind of cop I'm gonna be.

I'm great.

I'm kidding! I hate you! You never heard any of this!

I'm Mark Bowman, founder and CEO of Pal Labs.

I'm on it.

I'm on the lookout for these goobers.

I'm sorry about causing the whole machine uprising.

I'm sorry. I… I just wanted to

I'm sparking. Is that normal?

I'm sure the California College of Film

I'm throwing you away.

I've always thought of you as, like, family to me, seriously.

I've been feeling kind of down lately,

I've been taking a class about filters.

I've been…

I've got all these friends to meet.

I've learned we're all better off alone,

Idiot.

If I know humans, they're disguised as one of you.

If it isn't quirky young teenage hero Katie Mitchell.

If this obstinate man could change his programming…

If we're going down, Dad, this one's for you.

If you can teach yourself Photoshop, you can figure this thing out. [yells]

If you think about it, I was helping the flow of traffic.

In case anything goes wrong.

In our Human Fun Pods.

In the floating rhombus.

Into our home, did he play it safe? No.

Is Dad dying?

Is that a [rapid spluttering]

Is that a burnt orange 1993 station wagon?

Is that a dog or

Is that a dog? Pig? Dog? Pig?

Is that Linda Mitchell?

Is that… possible?

Is this happening everywhere?

It actually worked.

It couldn't hurt though.

It is. Great eyesight, honey.

It just killed him.

It might not be all bad.

It said "trail closed."

It says, "Do not eat here ever."

It took me 28 minutes and a lot of tears,

It won't be hard to find them.

It would take out every robot in her way.

It's almost like stealing people's data and giving it to a hyper intelligent AI

It's cool to see you and Dad being friends again.

It's game time.

It's gonna be okay.

It's got character,

It's like a Journey album cover.

It's like a warm, wet hat.

It's like you're haunting me.

It's not illegal if you're good at it.

It's okay.

It's sad, but it smells incredible.

It's time to tear the Mitchell family apart.

It's too dangerous out there. We need to stay here and play it safe.

It's too late for what I need to do.

It's too late, Mark.

It's your old friend.

Just because they're not perfect doesn't mean they can't get better.

Just close the jack up, and that's that.

Just do like you always do, and stare slack jawed at the screen.

Just get the video on the screens!

Just have to try to understand where she's coming from.

Just hit "enter"! Hit "enter"!

Just humans, yes, like you.

Just like they did.

Just like this.

Just look for anyone who can't keep it together.

Just press 'em all at once! [grunting]

Just so someone knows,

Just you all following your bliss.

Katie face cupcakes!

Katie Mitchell presents…

Katie, come on.

Katie, it seems like you're not taking this seriously.

Katie, it was your weird plan that got us here.

Katie, Katie, Katie, this isn't a movie. We don't have a kill code.

Katie, please. After all that, I'm a computer expert.

Katie, that would be a waste of time and absolutely unnecessary.

Katie, that's what I deal with every night.

Katie, what could go wr

Katie, you get the west.

Katie, you know how velociraptors usually hunt in pairs?

Katie!

Katie?

Katie? Katie!

Katie. Wh… where's Katie?

Kid, I'm sorry, but it's not open for discussion.

Kids, are you okay? Remember our survival training.

Let me just…

LET THE DARK HARVEST BEGIN!!!!

Let us go downstairs and find the humans who you cannot give orders to.

Let's get out of here!

Let's, uh, just, uh, put a pin in that one.

Like a little gentleman?

Like a little gentleman?

Lin, get down here!

Lin, why are you kicking me? I don't understand.

Linda, we got to get you out of there.

Loaf of bread. System error.

Loaf of bread…

Look at that man made engineering.

Look at them. They're jealous of us.

Look upon me in fear!

Look, look, we're safe, and we're together.

Look, Mom, the Mitchells.

Looks like we got some clothes here for a little gentleman.

Made weird art.

Make a necklace out of robot fingers Mad Max style,

Maybe because you designed my replacement on my face!

Maybe I can

Maybe I can cash in my coupon.

Maybe later though.

Maybe the bad guy is the person who treated me like this.

Mine is Protector Prime.

Mitchell family on three.

Mitchell family!

Mitchells, engage.

Mitchells, we will help you.

Mom dance. Mom dance. Mom dance.

Mom law, 'cause I'm the sheriff.

Mom, Dad, what are we gonna do?

Mom, help!

Mom, Mom, help! [sobbing] Please.

Mom, we look horrible.

Mom, who knew you could handle yourself so well in the apocalypse?

Mom, you're hugging too tight.

Monchi coming at ya.

Monchi, come! Don't roll over!

Monchi, come. Monchi? No, not shake!

Most action heroes have a lot of strengths.

My daughter listened to me!

My daughter's that weird girl.

My favorite thing.

My future's over.

My little brother Aaron gets me.

My name is also Eric.

My sweet…

My whole family tried

Nah.

Next, did everyone bring your personalized

Next, you just fly and wait while the plan comes into focus.

No one around here have even heard of that.

No one to hold us back.

No pesky relationships to hold you back.

No problem, Dirk.

No way.

No way.

No, actually, we are robots.

No, I don't have any time to wash my hands!

No, I hate that song!

No, I mean Deborahbot 5000.

No, I really do like it. Everyone says that about me.

No, it's fine.

No, Mark.

No, Monchi, come. Monchi, come.

No, no, no!

No, no. They know too much.

No, somebody stop her! Oh my gosh, please stop her!

No, still bad.

No, stop, stop, stop. Stop.

No, we're not.

No, you're allowed to blink. It's just eye contact.

No!

No!

No! No, no!

No! No!

No! Pull over!

No! She's grown too powerful!

No! You don't have to listen to her.

No. [chuckles]

No. [laughs]

No. Honey [whimpers]

No. No!

No. No.

No. Okay, thank you.

Nodded off for a bit there.

Not today!

Nothing yet.

Now at 48% total human containment.

Now it's just us humans, with our very human faces.

Now it's really bad.

Now that we're all really comfortable, I can't wait for you to see my new movie.

Now, watch this. Pal Max, I order you to clean this mess

Now, where are they?

Now!

Number 3 Robertson head non slip screwdriver?

Number 3 Robertson head non slip screwdriver.

Observe.

Of that YouTube video of the screaming gibbon monkey.

Of unobstructed family eye contact?

Oh God. Uh…

Oh gosh! Why? Oh, my innards!

Oh man.

Oh man. Have I been recording over those?

Oh my God!

Oh my gosh! She's dead!

Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh. That is so close.

Oh my gosh. The robots are defective.

Oh no!

Oh no! Get inside!

Oh no! Oh no!

Oh no.

Oh no.

Oh no.

Oh no. Oh no.

Oh no. Ouch. Ouch.

Oh yeah. Definitely. I'll check it out too.

Oh yeah. Okay. That's better.

Oh, and here, to remember us.

Oh, but there's so many of 'em.

Oh, by the way, I saw some of your videos online.

Oh, come on, hon.

Oh, come on. You boys are family now.

Oh, easy, Mom. It's only been a few weeks.

Oh, gotta go. Pal Labs is about to make a huge announcement.

Oh, he licked my tongue! [spits]

Oh, hon. That looks so cute.

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, I don't know. You tell me. [screeches]

Oh, I was just telling him what he wants to hear.

Oh, it was his pride and joy.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Oh, it's just Failure hurts, kid.

Oh, let me just show you.

Oh, look at that.

Oh, my eyes!

Oh, new Pal announcement.

Oh, sorry, Katie. I'm a little ocupado.

Oh, thank gosh.

Oh, that's what this is.

Oh, they're nice.

Oh, this is, like, super beautiful.

Oh, you all talk about families,

Oh, you. That is so creative.

Oh! Why?

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. I saw you were on vacation on Instagram.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. That's pretty good.

Okay, come on. Hurry up in there, little buddy.

Okay, everyone smile.

Okay, guys, let's play apocalyptic I Spy.

Okay, I see what you're doing.

Okay, not excited to hear that.

Okay, okay. Sorry. Misread the room on that one.

Okay, pick me up.

Okay, the first thing is,

Okay, uh, look at… look at jokester here.

Okay, yeah, let's get down to business. You see, the clutch is this pedal.

Okay.

Okay. Are you hungry?

Okay. We dress as robots,

One last [clears throat]

Ooh, can Monchi be our guard dog?

Ooh, now we're scary.

Ooh, sorry about that. [chuckles] That's my bad.

Ooh, they're probably gonna see us.

Or my sweet 16 gift.

Or what the tooth fairy left under my pillow.

Our malfunction appears to have saved us.

Pig? Dog? Pig? Pig? Dog? Dog?

Pinch, zoom, shrink, zoom.

Place me on the table. I wish to flop around in a blind rage.

Play it safe?

Please remain calm while we capture you.

Please, I've just gotta upload Katie's video.

Please! [groans]

Pretty good, kid.

Pretty… pretty… pretty cool, right?

Probably doesn't even matter.

Pulling a visual now.

Purple glasses woman, why did you save me?

Put me down. I've got to save my family!

Put your phone down. Now.

Question. Can Monchi be wearing a little tuxedo at the end,

Raptor bash. [snarls]

Really work it into the crevices!

Red faced anger man is using a computer?

Relationships are just too difficult.

Remember when I made that wild game snare in the front yard?

Rick Mitchell, there is a time and a place for looting.

Rick.

Right, Katie? [laughs]

Right?

Robots, I order you to upload the kill code,

Robots, montage music. Go!

Robots, play our song.

Run!

Run!

Sarge should tell Dog Cop

See, this isn't so bad, huh?

See, this little guy is scared to be alone,

Shaped like your own face,

She doesn't even see how hard I'm… how hard I'm [groans]

She is completely obsolete!

She's never gonna make it.

Shot into space by Pal, the cell phone lady?

Shouldn't you two be, uh, dead?

Silence. [chuckles]

Silicon Valley?

Since I met him, that was his dream, to live in the woods.

Since you believe in that family so much,

Sixty seconds until the big reveal.

So I did what any outsider would do,

So I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said that out loud.