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King Ralph King Ralph is a comedy film that was released in 1991, directed by David S. Ward. The movie follows the

King Ralph

King Ralph is a comedy film that was released in 1991, directed by David S. Ward. The movie follows the storyline of an American lounge singer named Ralph Jones, played by John Goodman, who suddenly becomes the King of England after a tragic accident wipes out the entire royal family.

The cast of King Ralph includes notable actors and actresses who brought their talent and humor to this hilarious comedy. John Goodman, known for his versatile acting skills, portrays the lovable, yet unconventional, King Ralph. His charismatic presence and comedic timing make him the perfect fit for this role.

In the film, King Ralph's advisors, Lord Percival Graves (played by Peter O'Toole) and Duncan Phipps (played by John Hurt), do their best to transform him into a suitable monarch. However, King Ralph's unrefined manners and crude behavior clash with the traditionalism and sophistication of the British aristocracy.

One of the standout performances in the movie comes from Camille Coduri, who plays King Ralph's love interest, Miranda Green. Coduri's chemistry with John Goodman adds a charming romantic subplot to the storyline, accentuating the human side of the King and showcasing his growth throughout the film.

King Ralph's humorous situations and fish-out-of-water experiences create plenty of laughs and memorable moments. From Ralph's attempts to impress the Queen Mother, played by British comedy legend, Joanna Lumley, to his unorthodox methods of handling the press, every scene is filled with comedic gold.

The film's soundtrack also contributes to the overall charm of King Ralph, capturing the essence of the story and enhancing the viewing experience. With a mix of catchy tunes and emotional ballads, the music complements the film's themes of love, self-discovery, and accepting oneself despite societal expectations.

If you're a fan of King Ralph and want to relive its magic, you can play and download sounds from the film here. Immerse yourself in the joyful soundtrack and reminisce about the hilarious moments that made this movie a cult classic.

King Ralph remains an enduring comedy that reminds us all of the power of individuality and the strength of the human spirit. John Goodman's portrayal of the unconventional king will forever be etched in our memories, and the witty script, brilliant performances, and unforgettable soundtrack continue to entertain audiences to this day.

So, sit back, relax, and indulge in the world of King Ralph. Laugh along with the lovable King as he navigates his way through royal affairs and wins the hearts of his subjects. With its talented cast, timeless humor, and catchy tunes, this film is sure to put a smile on your face and brighten your day.

A contract that could create thousands of jobs in the Northeast.
A contract that could create thousands of jobs in the Northeast.
A fleet of cars, a yacht, a full staff of servants.
A fleet of cars, a yacht, a full staff of servants.
A healthy annual income and a house in the country befitting your status.
A healthy annual income and a house in the country befitting your status.
A king's life is not always his own!
A king's life is not always his own!
A leader of men.
A leader of men.
A little rusty.
A little rusty.
A Miss Miranda Greene to see you.
A Miss Miranda Greene to see you.
A vile piece of slander! I demand to know the source of these accusations!
A vile piece of slander! I demand to know the source of these accusations!
A woman of such distinction as to far exceed your standards.
A woman of such distinction as to far exceed your standards.
About... anything.
About... anything.
After all, he does have royal blood, no matter how badly diluted.
After all, he does have royal blood, no matter how badly diluted.
After all, I am the king, right?
After all, I am the king, right?
After me, you're still the only Wyndham left...
After me, you're still the only Wyndham left...
After we first met at the club...
After we first met at the club...
Agh!
Agh!
Ah, there you two are!
Ah, there you two are!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
All is not lost, Your Majesty.
All is not lost, Your Majesty.
All of the engines will be built right here in England.
All of the engines will be built right here in England.
All right then, Phipps.
All right then, Phipps.
All right, all right, one or two.
All right, all right, one or two.
ALL: God save the king!
ALL: God save the king!
Allow me to introduce our sovereign lord, Ralph Jones...
Allow me to introduce our sovereign lord, Ralph Jones...
Allow me to introduce the Prime Minister, Mr Geoffrey Hale.
Allow me to introduce the Prime Minister, Mr Geoffrey Hale.
Almost, yes.
Almost, yes.
Although there's relief in most quarters that a new sovereign has been found...
Although there's relief in most quarters that a new sovereign has been found...
Am I glad to see you! People are lookin' at me.
Am I glad to see you! People are lookin' at me.
An embodiment of our history, our culture, our morality, our pride of achievement.
An embodiment of our history, our culture, our morality, our pride of achievement.
And a better, more qualified man than any nation could hope for.
And a better, more qualified man than any nation could hope for.
And a primer on etiquette. What's this?
And a primer on etiquette. What's this?
And before long, the House of Stuart will be restored to its rightful place.
And before long, the House of Stuart will be restored to its rightful place.
And called to say I couldn't see you any more? It was too dangerous.
And called to say I couldn't see you any more? It was too dangerous.
And compromise you in some way.
And compromise you in some way.
And feel free to change the decor.
And feel free to change the decor.
And he's in there!
And he's in there!
And Her Royal Highness, Princess Anna.
And Her Royal Highness, Princess Anna.
And here's one from the great Don Ho, the godfather of Hawaiian soul.
And here's one from the great Don Ho, the godfather of Hawaiian soul.
And I'm having this house equipped with its own recording studio.
And I'm having this house equipped with its own recording studio.
And is at this very moment on his way to see you.
And is at this very moment on his way to see you.
And Miss Greene, fetching as she may be, does not qualify.
And Miss Greene, fetching as she may be, does not qualify.
And now a young lady making her professional debut...
And now a young lady making her professional debut...
And one last thing. There's been some discussion...
And one last thing. There's been some discussion...
And please try to keep in mind that Jones will need a certain period of adjustment.
And please try to keep in mind that Jones will need a certain period of adjustment.
And several cheques made out to the photographer, signed by Lord Graves...
And several cheques made out to the photographer, signed by Lord Graves...
And so to him I pledge my allegiance.
And so to him I pledge my allegiance.
And staring dawn the bust lines of female dignitaries.
And staring dawn the bust lines of female dignitaries.
And suffer the degradation of our most sacred traditions...
And suffer the degradation of our most sacred traditions...
And the ball season will soon be upon us. You will need dance lessons.
And the ball season will soon be upon us. You will need dance lessons.
And the Chancellor of the Exchequer has suggested...
And the Chancellor of the Exchequer has suggested...
And the Commonwealth, for which we... no.
And the Commonwealth, for which we... no.
And the Commonwealth.
And the Commonwealth.
And Their Royal Majesties, King Gustav and Queen Katherine of Finland...
And Their Royal Majesties, King Gustav and Queen Katherine of Finland...
And there is your dressing room.
And there is your dressing room.
And there's still the matter of your investiture.
And there's still the matter of your investiture.
And you made quite an impression on him.
And you made quite an impression on him.
And you too, Dunc, and Tommie.
And you too, Dunc, and Tommie.
And you, Gordon, will be private secretary to the king.
And you, Gordon, will be private secretary to the king.
And you've acted honourably.
And you've acted honourably.
And, in a deal worked out with Prime Minister Hale...
And, in a deal worked out with Prime Minister Hale...
Anna isn't into it, is she?
Anna isn't into it, is she?
Anything we've left out?
Anything we've left out?
Anything, Your Majesty.
Anything, Your Majesty.
Anyway, I wanna thank you for everything you did for me.
Anyway, I wanna thank you for everything you did for me.
Are expected to maintain certain standards...
Are expected to maintain certain standards...
Are you shittin' me?
Are you shittin' me?
Are you suggesting that we have no king at all?
Are you suggesting that we have no king at all?
Are you trying to tell me in your uniquely American way that you are lonely?
Are you trying to tell me in your uniquely American way that you are lonely?
Are you willing to bet their future on it for a woman you've known a few weeks?
Are you willing to bet their future on it for a woman you've known a few weeks?
Aren't you...?
Aren't you...?
As a reminder of the eminence of your office.
As a reminder of the eminence of your office.
As an Englishman, I want all of us to have the kind of king we deserve.
As an Englishman, I want all of us to have the kind of king we deserve.
As happy as I am about all this, it doesn't make up for my shortcomings as a king.
As happy as I am about all this, it doesn't make up for my shortcomings as a king.
As I live and breathe! You're him, aren't you?
As I live and breathe! You're him, aren't you?
As king, you are expected to marry a woman of noble birth...
As king, you are expected to marry a woman of noble birth...
As you all know, I have made some terrible mistakes lately...
As you all know, I have made some terrible mistakes lately...
As you have in your other endeavours.
As you have in your other endeavours.
As you were dancing...
As you were dancing...
As you were dancing...
As you were dancing...
At any rate, Constance had a son, your father.
At any rate, Constance had a son, your father.
At first, Your Majesty, just try to block it.
At first, Your Majesty, just try to block it.
At least back in the States I could screw up my life as I saw fit.
At least back in the States I could screw up my life as I saw fit.
At present, the competition seems to be what you call a 'toss up'.
At present, the competition seems to be what you call a 'toss up'.
Back straight.
Back straight.
Bangers and mash and the ever popular spotted dick.
Bangers and mash and the ever popular spotted dick.
Beautifully stated.
Beautifully stated.
Because I don't have a lot of experience.
Because I don't have a lot of experience.
Better to declare his line at an end than subject England to this embarrassment.
Better to declare his line at an end than subject England to this embarrassment.
Beyond that, we shouldn't rush into anything.
Beyond that, we shouldn't rush into anything.
Bowler?
Bowler?
Bowler...
Bowler...
Business and political leaders have condemned...
Business and political leaders have condemned...
But a surviving heir to the throne must be found.
But a surviving heir to the throne must be found.
But at least the party stinks. I gotta do something to liven things up.
But at least the party stinks. I gotta do something to liven things up.
But before I go, there are some things I wanna set straight.
But before I go, there are some things I wanna set straight.
But do you really wanna marry me?
But do you really wanna marry me?
But Finland recently discovered large oil deposits in their area of the Baltic Sea.
But Finland recently discovered large oil deposits in their area of the Baltic Sea.
But further insulted King Gustav and Princess Anna of Finland...
But further insulted King Gustav and Princess Anna of Finland...
But I am the king, even if I shouldn't be. I don't wanna be the last of the line...
But I am the king, even if I shouldn't be. I don't wanna be the last of the line...
But I console myself with the fact that you have nice buttocks.
But I console myself with the fact that you have nice buttocks.
But I console myself with the fact that you have nice buttocks.
But I console myself with the fact that you have nice buttocks.
But I had nothin' else goin' and I didn't get shot.
But I had nothin' else goin' and I didn't get shot.
But I have almost all the Rolling Stones albums.
But I have almost all the Rolling Stones albums.
But I have news that might bring you cheer.
But I have news that might bring you cheer.
But I have some things to say and I wanna say them first hand.
But I have some things to say and I wanna say them first hand.
But I wish we could still see each other.
But I wish we could still see each other.
But I'm afraid my best will never be good enough.
But I'm afraid my best will never be good enough.
But I'm quite pleased with the economic progress my country has made.
But I'm quite pleased with the economic progress my country has made.
But I've come to feel like I'm English, too.
But I've come to feel like I'm English, too.
But if you insist, it's imperative that you only see her here at the palace.
But if you insist, it's imperative that you only see her here at the palace.
But over the last few months, something has changed.
But over the last few months, something has changed.
But relaxed.
But relaxed.
But she is what they call in America a fox.
But she is what they call in America a fox.
But there is a matter of some pressing national interest.
But there is a matter of some pressing national interest.
But to end your friendship with Miss Greene.
But to end your friendship with Miss Greene.
But when my dad lost his job, I started sending money home.
But when my dad lost his job, I started sending money home.
But you can't refuse the throne. It's a sacred trust.
But you can't refuse the throne. It's a sacred trust.
But you can't refuse the throne. It's a sacred trust.
But you can't refuse the throne. It's a sacred trust.
But you must not shrink from your duty.
But you must not shrink from your duty.
But, erm...
But, erm...
By a man working for Lord Percival Graves.
By a man working for Lord Percival Graves.
By an American commoner as a serious threat to the status of the monarchy.
By an American commoner as a serious threat to the status of the monarchy.
By parading with his "mystery woman", a former stripper named Miranda Greene.
By parading with his "mystery woman", a former stripper named Miranda Greene.
By rubbing elbows with the royal houses of Europe.
By rubbing elbows with the royal houses of Europe.
By the Treason Act of 1702...
By the Treason Act of 1702...
By the way, the Y's on a triple word score. I'm starting to catch up here.
By the way, the Y's on a triple word score. I'm starting to catch up here.
By this witless ivory tinkler from across the sea?
By this witless ivory tinkler from across the sea?
By what right can you order my arrest?
By what right can you order my arrest?
Bye. Ralph.
Bye. Ralph.
Call the Prime Minister. I wanna address Parliament.
Call the Prime Minister. I wanna address Parliament.
Certainly not. Simply choose a king from the House of Stuart...
Certainly not. Simply choose a king from the House of Stuart...
Certainly. Perhaps an assortment of fine chocolates?
Certainly. Perhaps an assortment of fine chocolates?
Charlie, Charlie, James again... William III.
Charlie, Charlie, James again... William III.
Coat was crampin' my style.
Coat was crampin' my style.
Come back here, you little strumpet!
Come back here, you little strumpet!
Come in.
Come in.
Come on in. I'll sign a picture for ya.
Come on in. I'll sign a picture for ya.
Come on, I haven't had a day off since I've been here.
Come on, I haven't had a day off since I've been here.
Come, Anna. You haven't danced with your father.
Come, Anna. You haven't danced with your father.
Coming here is the best thing I've done so far.
Coming here is the best thing I've done so far.
Coming, Father.
Coming, Father.
Congratulations, my dear. The king has broken out of the palace...
Congratulations, my dear. The king has broken out of the palace...
Congratulations, Your Majesty.
Congratulations, Your Majesty.
Cos I wouldn't sing 'The Impossible Dream'?
Cos I wouldn't sing 'The Impossible Dream'?
Could I have the burgers, please?
Could I have the burgers, please?
Could I just have some ice cream?
Could I just have some ice cream?
Could you move a little closer together? That's lovely.
Could you move a little closer together? That's lovely.
Damn. I knew I was gettin' hosed over here.
Damn. I knew I was gettin' hosed over here.
Date night. Where does the king eat in this town? I'm in the mood for sushi.
Date night. Where does the king eat in this town? I'm in the mood for sushi.
Dick?
Dick?
Did I get one?
Did I get one?
Different circumstances?
Different circumstances?
Do come in.
Do come in.
Do you ever do any fencing?
Do you ever do any fencing?
Do you feel that being the king of a major nation is tougher than you thought?
Do you feel that being the king of a major nation is tougher than you thought?
Does that mean she's ugly?
Does that mean she's ugly?
Don't hesitate to display that wonderful American flamboyance...
Don't hesitate to display that wonderful American flamboyance...
Don't lose patience, Your Majesty. We are working on the problem.
Don't lose patience, Your Majesty. We are working on the problem.
Don't say that.
Don't say that.
Don't swing your arms.
Don't swing your arms.
Don't worry, Your Majesty. You'll be fine.
Don't worry, Your Majesty. You'll be fine.
Don't worry. It'll all come back to you.
Don't worry. It'll all come back to you.
Don't worry. We'll find you an exemplary consort.
Don't worry. We'll find you an exemplary consort.
Don't you be touchin' him now, lad.
Don't you be touchin' him now, lad.
Don't you think we should develop some special feelings for each other first?
Don't you think we should develop some special feelings for each other first?
Doubts remain as to whether the American born king...
Doubts remain as to whether the American born king...
DRIVER: I've got the king's special permission.
DRIVER: I've got the king's special permission.
Dunc says you've been here 25 years. You must be a hell of a typist by now.
Dunc says you've been here 25 years. You must be a hell of a typist by now.
Edward four, five, Rich the bad, then Richard III...
Edward four, five, Rich the bad, then Richard III...
Edward VIII and that Wallis broad? That was 50 years ago. This is the '90s.
Edward VIII and that Wallis broad? That was 50 years ago. This is the '90s.
England.
England.
English law prohibits monarchs from solving problems.
English law prohibits monarchs from solving problems.
English people don't generally like their monarch to look like a sofa.
English people don't generally like their monarch to look like a sofa.
Er...
Er...
Even what? Killin' me? You know, Ced, I can't take too many more surprises.
Even what? Killin' me? You know, Ced, I can't take too many more surprises.
Ever since I've been here, I've had people sayin'...
Ever since I've been here, I've had people sayin'...
Everything's taken care of. The king has his own castle, five castles, in fact...
Everything's taken care of. The king has his own castle, five castles, in fact...
Everywhere.
Everywhere.
Excuse me, Sir Cedric. His Majesty is here.
Excuse me, Sir Cedric. His Majesty is here.
Excuse me, Your Majesty. The beaters are approaching.
Excuse me, Your Majesty. The beaters are approaching.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me. I didn't get much sleep last night.
Excuse me. I didn't get much sleep last night.
Exhibit all of our virtues and none of our shortcomings.
Exhibit all of our virtues and none of our shortcomings.
Extraordinary fellow. Could I have a word, Willingham?
Extraordinary fellow. Could I have a word, Willingham?
Far from it. We're organising a ball in her honour to follow the banquet...
Far from it. We're organising a ball in her honour to follow the banquet...
Fess up.
Fess up.
Fine.
Fine.
First sign of difficulty? You've been destroying my fantasy for weeks.
First sign of difficulty? You've been destroying my fantasy for weeks.
For that reason, I have decided to give up my throne.
For that reason, I have decided to give up my throne.
For that reason, tomorrow I'm turning over the throne to Cedric Charles Willingham...
For that reason, tomorrow I'm turning over the throne to Cedric Charles Willingham...
For the sake of an American usurper that you don't even know?
For the sake of an American usurper that you don't even know?
For which you are so justly celebrated.
For which you are so justly celebrated.
Forbidding interference with the proper succession of a monarch, enacted by...
Forbidding interference with the proper succession of a monarch, enacted by...
Forget it.
Forget it.
Fortunately, it's only a flesh wound.
Fortunately, it's only a flesh wound.
Fox hunting? You like fox hunting?
Fox hunting? You like fox hunting?
France. Daddy played in the Gold Cup there this summer.
France. Daddy played in the Gold Cup there this summer.
Future bride?
Future bride?
Gas mileage is fine, but keep in mind the first question any car buyer asks:
Gas mileage is fine, but keep in mind the first question any car buyer asks:
Get out.
Get out.
Gimme a quintet, brother!
Gimme a quintet, brother!
Give him enough time to become hopelessly infatuated with her.
Give him enough time to become hopelessly infatuated with her.
God save the king.
God save the king.
Good afternoon, Prime Minister.
Good afternoon, Prime Minister.
Good enough. Let's go over the changes.
Good enough. Let's go over the changes.
Good evening, Your Majesty.
Good evening, Your Majesty.
Good evening, Your Majesty. Lord Percival Graves.
Good evening, Your Majesty. Lord Percival Graves.
Good evening.
Good evening.
Good God, the future of a nation's at stake.
Good God, the future of a nation's at stake.
Good luck, gentlemen.
Good luck, gentlemen.
Good luck, Your Majesty.
Good luck, Your Majesty.
Good morning, Your Majesty. I'm afraid I have some distressing news.
Good morning, Your Majesty. I'm afraid I have some distressing news.
Good! That's a load off my mind.
Good! That's a load off my mind.
Good. Less chance for scandal.
Good. Less chance for scandal.
Goodbye, Miranda.
Goodbye, Miranda.
Goodbye, Your Majesty.
Goodbye, Your Majesty.
Got any Milk Duds?
Got any Milk Duds?
Graves did it deliberately.
Graves did it deliberately.
Grip with the knees.
Grip with the knees.
Gustav, let the king eat. His guests are waiting.
Gustav, let the king eat. His guests are waiting.
Had a small dalliance with your grandmother, Constance...
Had a small dalliance with your grandmother, Constance...
Have a seat.
Have a seat.
Have you ever been to England before?
Have you ever been to England before?
He also instructed me to give you this.
He also instructed me to give you this.
He begged to be let off.
He begged to be let off.
He insisted that he was undeserving of such an exalted position.
He insisted that he was undeserving of such an exalted position.
He is making a mockery of centuries of tradition.
He is making a mockery of centuries of tradition.
He offered me money to help my family...
He offered me money to help my family...
He simply won't do. He's common, ignorant and extremely ill mannered.
He simply won't do. He's common, ignorant and extremely ill mannered.
He was king during that little temper tantrum you call the Revolutionary War.
He was king during that little temper tantrum you call the Revolutionary War.
He's American. He's impervious to adjustment.
He's American. He's impervious to adjustment.
Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.
Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.
Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.
Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.
Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.
Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.
Head up.
Head up.
Hear, hear!
Hear, hear!
Hear, hear!
Hear, hear!
Hear, hear!
Hear, hear!
Hear, hear!
Hear, hear!
Heels down! Heels down!
Heels down! Heels down!
Hello, Miranda? It's me, Ralph.
Hello, Miranda? It's me, Ralph.
Hello, newsdesk?
Hello, newsdesk?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello.
Hello.
Hello. My name is Duncan Phipps and this is Inspector McGuire.
Hello. My name is Duncan Phipps and this is Inspector McGuire.
Here they come, Your Majesty.
Here they come, Your Majesty.
Here we have roast beef and Yorkshire pudding...
Here we have roast beef and Yorkshire pudding...
Here you go. Help me out here.
Here you go. Help me out here.
Here's your money. All of it.
Here's your money. All of it.
Hey, don't forget the crown. Practise wearing it to get used to the weight.
Hey, don't forget the crown. Practise wearing it to get used to the weight.
Hey, Ed, what are you doin' down here?
Hey, Ed, what are you doin' down here?
Hey, Flamingo. Hi. Really unique show. Striptease without the nudity.
Hey, Flamingo. Hi. Really unique show. Striptease without the nudity.
Hey, homes! What's happenin'?
Hey, homes! What's happenin'?
Hey, Jones, get over here. I'm not finished talkin' to you.
Hey, Jones, get over here. I'm not finished talkin' to you.
Hey, Mitzi. Your show went a little better than mine.
Hey, Mitzi. Your show went a little better than mine.
Hi ya!
Hi ya!
Hi. Is Miranda here?
Hi. Is Miranda here?
His Britannic Majesty, King Ralph I...
His Britannic Majesty, King Ralph I...
His great grandfather had an unfortunate evening with a parlour maid.
His great grandfather had an unfortunate evening with a parlour maid.
His Majesty, Ralph I, by the grace of God...
His Majesty, Ralph I, by the grace of God...
His mother is currently serving a two year prison term...
His mother is currently serving a two year prison term...
His name is Jones. Ralph Jones.
His name is Jones. Ralph Jones.
Hiya, Ced.
Hiya, Ced.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Hope you're not too upset about this 'mystery woman' thing.
Hope you're not too upset about this 'mystery woman' thing.
Hoping that his family would return to the throne.
Hoping that his family would return to the throne.
How am I doin'?
How am I doin'?
How do you do, Geoff?
How do you do, Geoff?
How do you do, Your Majesty?
How do you do, Your Majesty?
How embarrassing! Why did I ever think I could do this?
How embarrassing! Why did I ever think I could do this?
How long do you need me? I've never held a job for more than six months.
How long do you need me? I've never held a job for more than six months.
How you doin'?
How you doin'?
However, we have one more ace to play.
However, we have one more ace to play.
I ain't him. I can't...
I ain't him. I can't...
I also know that I'm too set in my ways to ever be that man.
I also know that I'm too set in my ways to ever be that man.
I am glad you find her so. Best wishes in your fox hunting, Your Majesty.
I am glad you find her so. Best wishes in your fox hunting, Your Majesty.
I am happy to be able to announce...
I am happy to be able to announce...
I am Princess Anna, the king's future bride.
I am Princess Anna, the king's future bride.
I am sorry, Your Majesty, both for my deception and my cowardice.
I am sorry, Your Majesty, both for my deception and my cowardice.
I am told you are something of a sportsman. My particular passion is polo.
I am told you are something of a sportsman. My particular passion is polo.
I asked Gordon to get us some music, something we can dance to.
I asked Gordon to get us some music, something we can dance to.
I beg your pardon?
I beg your pardon?
I believe it's pheasant, Your Majesty.
I believe it's pheasant, Your Majesty.
I came to London to study design.
I came to London to study design.
I can only try to make up for it in some way.
I can only try to make up for it in some way.
I can't go out, I eat alone, I live in a museum, I sleep in an auditorium...
I can't go out, I eat alone, I live in a museum, I sleep in an auditorium...
I can't really think of any notable Ralphs.
I can't really think of any notable Ralphs.
I can't see myself making it here without you, Miranda.
I can't see myself making it here without you, Miranda.
I couldn't have made it without you.
I couldn't have made it without you.
I didn't bring this out to defend myself, but I embarrassed England unintentionally.
I didn't bring this out to defend myself, but I embarrassed England unintentionally.
I didn't feel worthy and I have no children to continue the line.
I didn't feel worthy and I have no children to continue the line.
I didn't say I'd marry her. I just wanna take her out.
I didn't say I'd marry her. I just wanna take her out.
I didn't think about the consequences.
I didn't think about the consequences.
I do not comprehend, Your Majesty.
I do not comprehend, Your Majesty.
I don't expect you to, or to believe that I've missed you.
I don't expect you to, or to believe that I've missed you.
I don't get around much lately, but I used to go out almost every weekend.
I don't get around much lately, but I used to go out almost every weekend.
I don't know if you're aware of it...
I don't know if you're aware of it...
I don't know what to think any more. I've been in over my head all along.
I don't know what to think any more. I've been in over my head all along.
I don't know, Ced. I should stay out of the royalty business.
I don't know, Ced. I should stay out of the royalty business.
I don't know. How about a bowling alley?
I don't know. How about a bowling alley?
I don't know. You're not the kind of girl I'm used to.
I don't know. You're not the kind of girl I'm used to.
I don't see anybody that doesn't work for me. I'm gettin' palace fever.
I don't see anybody that doesn't work for me. I'm gettin' palace fever.
I don't think you understand quite how much I'm offering. Close the door.
I don't think you understand quite how much I'm offering. Close the door.
I don't want to keep you, Your Majesty...
I don't want to keep you, Your Majesty...
I doubt it.
I doubt it.
I drowned the memory of your behaviour at dinner...
I drowned the memory of your behaviour at dinner...
I got everything in the world and nothin' I need. No friends, no freedom, no fun.
I got everything in the world and nothin' I need. No friends, no freedom, no fun.
I got him. I got him good. I'm sorry. Really, I'm terribly sorry.
I got him. I got him good. I'm sorry. Really, I'm terribly sorry.
I gotta get outta here.
I gotta get outta here.
I guess we should just be glad for the time we had, that kind of thing.
I guess we should just be glad for the time we had, that kind of thing.
I had a chance to make a mark for our side of the family and I screwed it up.
I had a chance to make a mark for our side of the family and I screwed it up.
I have a few travel commitments that have to be worked around.
I have a few travel commitments that have to be worked around.
I have done my best to learn the ways of royalty...
I have done my best to learn the ways of royalty...
I have no doubt that they will be the toast of the continent.
I have no doubt that they will be the toast of the continent.
I have no excuse for my actions.
I have no excuse for my actions.
I have something you might be interested in.
I have something you might be interested in.
I haven't got time to be the King of England. I gotta get a job.
I haven't got time to be the King of England. I gotta get a job.
I haven't got time to be the King of England. I gotta get a job.
I haven't got time to be the King of England. I gotta get a job.
I hope you aren't enamoured of her.
I hope you aren't enamoured of her.
I hope you're not countin' on me to solve problems...
I hope you're not countin' on me to solve problems...
I just wanna get dressed. Excuse me, please.
I just wanna get dressed. Excuse me, please.
I just wanna say that when I first came here, I hardly knew where England was.
I just wanna say that when I first came here, I hardly knew where England was.
I kept tellin' myself 'Everything'll work out fine once they know you like I do...
I kept tellin' myself 'Everything'll work out fine once they know you like I do...
I know I can't undo what's been done.
I know I can't undo what's been done.
I know I shouldn't have come, but I wanted to see you.
I know I shouldn't have come, but I wanted to see you.
I know it's difficult, but there are times when you must put aside personal desires.
I know it's difficult, but there are times when you must put aside personal desires.
I know no such man!
I know no such man!
I know that you will acquit yourself as famously with the Finnish royals...
I know that you will acquit yourself as famously with the Finnish royals...
I know, at a time like this, it's difficult to apply oneself to any task.
I know, at a time like this, it's difficult to apply oneself to any task.
I may put a band together, get back to playing rock and roll.
I may put a band together, get back to playing rock and roll.
I mean, I really wish I could. You just have to trust me. It's not a good idea.
I mean, I really wish I could. You just have to trust me. It's not a good idea.
I need hardly remind you that this is not the preferred entertainment of royalty.
I need hardly remind you that this is not the preferred entertainment of royalty.
I need to talk to you about this.
I need to talk to you about this.
I now realise how important a king can be to his people if he's the right man.
I now realise how important a king can be to his people if he's the right man.
I only tried exotic dancing because I needed some extra money.
I only tried exotic dancing because I needed some extra money.
I probably oughta be pissed...
I probably oughta be pissed...
I proclaim you Ralph Hampton Gainsworth Jones...
I proclaim you Ralph Hampton Gainsworth Jones...
I rather enjoyed that.
I rather enjoyed that.
I remain your humble servant.
I remain your humble servant.
I say it is time to reclaim our heritage.
I say it is time to reclaim our heritage.
I say it is time to reclaim our national pride.
I say it is time to reclaim our national pride.
I say it is time to reclaim our throne!
I say it is time to reclaim our throne!
I say no!
I say no!
I see. Excuse me, I think I should be going.
I see. Excuse me, I think I should be going.
I shall try to follow your example.
I shall try to follow your example.
I should go.
I should go.
I suppose so.
I suppose so.
I think it's time you made a stand somewhere for something.
I think it's time you made a stand somewhere for something.
I think not.
I think not.
I think so.
I think so.
I think we'll survive. What's in this for you?
I think we'll survive. What's in this for you?
I thought we'd get together tomorrow, have a drink...
I thought we'd get together tomorrow, have a drink...
I understand you've met our new king.
I understand you've met our new king.
I was determined to help you do the job so well...
I was determined to help you do the job so well...
I was stupid. I was offered an easy way out of my problems and I took it.
I was stupid. I was offered an easy way out of my problems and I took it.
I was thinking of something you said to me once.
I was thinking of something you said to me once.
I wasn't born to this crap. You can't expect me to accept these restrictions.
I wasn't born to this crap. You can't expect me to accept these restrictions.
I went to night school for a bit.
I went to night school for a bit.
I will, sir.
I will, sir.
I wish I could believe that.
I wish I could believe that.
I wish we could meet again, somewhere else, in different circumstances.
I wish we could meet again, somewhere else, in different circumstances.
I would have married Gunnar Jann back in Penike.
I would have married Gunnar Jann back in Penike.
I wouldn't be afraid to show them who you really are.
I wouldn't be afraid to show them who you really are.
I... don't know anything...
I... don't know anything...
I'd be better off doing things my way. When I try to do things right I screw up.
I'd be better off doing things my way. When I try to do things right I screw up.
I'd like to play somethin' for ya, maybe pick up the tempo, get things rollin'.
I'd like to play somethin' for ya, maybe pick up the tempo, get things rollin'.
I'll always consider myself an American...
I'll always consider myself an American...
I'll see what I can find out, Your Majesty.
I'll see what I can find out, Your Majesty.
I'll teach you a poem to help you remember the order of the kings.
I'll teach you a poem to help you remember the order of the kings.
I'm afraid it is, Your Majesty.
I'm afraid it is, Your Majesty.
I'm afraid it's a god's burden to bear. Unfortunately, it must be borne by a man.
I'm afraid it's a god's burden to bear. Unfortunately, it must be borne by a man.
I'm afraid we won't be able to get by on pretzels and beer this time.
I'm afraid we won't be able to get by on pretzels and beer this time.
I'm asking you to think of something larger than yourself.
I'm asking you to think of something larger than yourself.
I'm curious about what kind of things you like.
I'm curious about what kind of things you like.
I'm just a sales girl from South London.
I'm just a sales girl from South London.
I'm just glad that I got out now before any real damage was done.
I'm just glad that I got out now before any real damage was done.
I'm Lord Percival Graves. Do you have a moment? It is a matter of some urgency.
I'm Lord Percival Graves. Do you have a moment? It is a matter of some urgency.
I'm more of a night owl, but what the hell? As long as we're all up.
I'm more of a night owl, but what the hell? As long as we're all up.
I'm not jokin'. They just hired me. I could get you your job back.
I'm not jokin'. They just hired me. I could get you your job back.
I'm not that type of secretary.
I'm not that type of secretary.
I'm prepared to make it well worth your while.
I'm prepared to make it well worth your while.
I'm sorry about all the stuff in the papers, all the things they've said...
I'm sorry about all the stuff in the papers, all the things they've said...
I'm sorry it took such a long time, Your Majesty, but I found you some music.
I'm sorry it took such a long time, Your Majesty, but I found you some music.
I'm sorry. What's this got to do with me?
I'm sorry. What's this got to do with me?
I'm sure that you are aware that members of the royal family...
I'm sure that you are aware that members of the royal family...
I've already strung the cables, sir.
I've already strung the cables, sir.
I've always liked my standards down where they are.
I've always liked my standards down where they are.
I've been talking to Dunc about something he said a while back.
I've been talking to Dunc about something he said a while back.
I've had it with you, Jones. We're not payin' you to watch television.
I've had it with you, Jones. We're not payin' you to watch television.
I've heard they can be a problem. What are we hunting, Ced?
I've heard they can be a problem. What are we hunting, Ced?
I've never done anything my whole life and look where I am. There.
I've never done anything my whole life and look where I am. There.
I've never done anything of importance. I usually bail out long before that.
I've never done anything of importance. I usually bail out long before that.
I've never had anybody bring me something. I wanna try it out.
I've never had anybody bring me something. I wanna try it out.
If anything we will have to increase public appearances in light of your popularity.
If anything we will have to increase public appearances in light of your popularity.
If he gets anything better than a seven here, we're screwed.
If he gets anything better than a seven here, we're screwed.
If I can prove to you by tomorrow night I'm the King of England, go out with me.
If I can prove to you by tomorrow night I'm the King of England, go out with me.
If I ever get to be one, I'll take it up.
If I ever get to be one, I'll take it up.
If I wanted to marry for love...
If I wanted to marry for love...
If I would... see you...
If I would... see you...
If not now, then when?
If not now, then when?
If things become too staid, too formal for you...
If things become too staid, too formal for you...
If things go well between you and the princess at the ball, it will be forgotten.
If things go well between you and the princess at the ball, it will be forgotten.
If you did not see Miss Greene at all.
If you did not see Miss Greene at all.
Imagine yourself to be the master of your domain.
Imagine yourself to be the master of your domain.
In addition, Zambezi wants to buy ÂŁ200 million worth of English heavy equipment...
In addition, Zambezi wants to buy ÂŁ200 million worth of English heavy equipment...
In baseball the ball comes to you on the fly. In cricket it usually hits the ground.
In baseball the ball comes to you on the fly. In cricket it usually hits the ground.
In other words...
In other words...
In short, our ideal of civilisation. You must, under harsh public scrutiny...
In short, our ideal of civilisation. You must, under harsh public scrutiny...
In the wake of last night's disastrous royal ball...
In the wake of last night's disastrous royal ball...
In the white drawing room.
In the white drawing room.
Is cut from the proper cloth.
Is cut from the proper cloth.
Is everybody havin' a good time?
Is everybody havin' a good time?
Is now being characterised as "a breath of fresh air".
Is now being characterised as "a breath of fresh air".
It came out there was another guy in line for the throne besides me. Is that true?
It came out there was another guy in line for the throne besides me. Is that true?
It contains the Star of India, the second largest diamond in the world.
It contains the Star of India, the second largest diamond in the world.
It could never have worked out.
It could never have worked out.
It doesn't count for much class down here, but it's nice of you to say so.
It doesn't count for much class down here, but it's nice of you to say so.
It is my glorious duty to inform you...
It is my glorious duty to inform you...
It just wasn't meant to be.
It just wasn't meant to be.
It wasn't like that. After that night, I gave Graves his money back.
It wasn't like that. After that night, I gave Graves his money back.
It would be a charming bonus, but I hardly think it's necessary.
It would be a charming bonus, but I hardly think it's necessary.
It would be best to say 'How do you do?' rather than 'How you doin'?'
It would be best to say 'How do you do?' rather than 'How you doin'?'
It's a great pleasure...
It's a great pleasure...
It's a pleasure to have you as our guest.
It's a pleasure to have you as our guest.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
It's an unmitigated catastrophe, Prime Minister.
It's an unmitigated catastrophe, Prime Minister.
It's beyond all comprehension, Your Majesty.
It's beyond all comprehension, Your Majesty.
It's easier to whisper advice from cover than risk its merit at the point of attack.
It's easier to whisper advice from cover than risk its merit at the point of attack.
It's I who should be thanking you.
It's I who should be thanking you.
It's not enough simply to be the king. You must look and act like one.
It's not enough simply to be the king. You must look and act like one.
It's only a matter of time before the house is repossessed.
It's only a matter of time before the house is repossessed.
It's our pleasure to have you as our guest.
It's our pleasure to have you as our guest.
It's outta here!
It's outta here!
It's the end of everything that we hold dear.
It's the end of everything that we hold dear.
It's the king!
It's the king!
It's unusual for a king to address Parliament...
It's unusual for a king to address Parliament...
It's up to you whether you embrace this situation as a challenge to your abilities...
It's up to you whether you embrace this situation as a challenge to your abilities...
It's usually kept in the Tower of London, but we placed it near your bed...
It's usually kept in the Tower of London, but we placed it near your bed...
Japanese are dangerous here?
Japanese are dangerous here?
Jeez, this is a tough country.
Jeez, this is a tough country.
Just a dab here and there.
Just a dab here and there.
Just a few quick questions to probe your knowledge of English history.
Just a few quick questions to probe your knowledge of English history.
Just a little, when I was a kid. A couple of watches here and there.
Just a little, when I was a kid. A couple of watches here and there.
Just an explanation.
Just an explanation.
Just barely.
Just barely.
Just spectacularly bad luck. It could have happened to almost anyone.
Just spectacularly bad luck. It could have happened to almost anyone.
Keep those knees tight in. Sit back.
Keep those knees tight in. Sit back.
King Edward fell in love with a commoner and had to abdicate his throne.
King Edward fell in love with a commoner and had to abdicate his throne.
King of Great Britain, Northern Ireland and all her other realms and territories...
King of Great Britain, Northern Ireland and all her other realms and territories...
King of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland...
King of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland...
King of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland...
King of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland...
King Ralph not only shocked his guests with his rock and roll gyrations...
King Ralph not only shocked his guests with his rock and roll gyrations...
King Ralph seems to have passed his first diplomatic test with high marks.
King Ralph seems to have passed his first diplomatic test with high marks.
King Ralph the Chickenhearted.
King Ralph the Chickenhearted.
Knight of the British Empire.
Knight of the British Empire.
Ladies and gentleman, I'd like to welcome you all to the ball again.
Ladies and gentleman, I'd like to welcome you all to the ball again.
Let's try and get one in. We'll need both banks to fill light.
Let's try and get one in. We'll need both banks to fill light.
Like what? You're beautiful, you're smart, you're honest.
Like what? You're beautiful, you're smart, you're honest.
Listen, I've been meaning to ask you. Do they tell you who you can date over there?
Listen, I've been meaning to ask you. Do they tell you who you can date over there?
Little snapshot of you together in public.
Little snapshot of you together in public.
Long live Cedric I, by the grace of God...
Long live Cedric I, by the grace of God...
Look, even if I believed ya, which I don't...
Look, even if I believed ya, which I don't...
Look, I know our deal was just for one date, but do you think we could extend it?
Look, I know our deal was just for one date, but do you think we could extend it?
Looks like I did.
Looks like I did.
Looks like that's all she wrote. Wanna go again?
Looks like that's all she wrote. Wanna go again?
Lord Graves.
Lord Graves.
Majesty.
Majesty.
Make sure that he gets what he needs. Good luck.
Make sure that he gets what he needs. Good luck.
Make sure that Miss Greene gets one just like it.
Make sure that Miss Greene gets one just like it.
Mary, Lizzie, James the vain, Charlie, Charlie, James again...
Mary, Lizzie, James the vain, Charlie, Charlie, James again...
Maybe I should give this a little more thought.
Maybe I should give this a little more thought.
Maybe I should have myself beheaded.
Maybe I should have myself beheaded.
Maybe just one quick one.
Maybe just one quick one.
Maybe put your arm around him and give him a little kiss.
Maybe put your arm around him and give him a little kiss.
Me? I was a lousy king.
Me? I was a lousy king.
Milk?
Milk?
MIRANDA: Two, three, four, side...
MIRANDA: Two, three, four, side...
Miss Flamingo Mirage!
Miss Flamingo Mirage!
Miss Greene, Your Majesty.
Miss Greene, Your Majesty.
Miss Greene's presence last night did not go unnoticed.
Miss Greene's presence last night did not go unnoticed.
Most things go in one ear, out the other... no offence... but this stuck with me.
Most things go in one ear, out the other... no offence... but this stuck with me.
Moving along now, let's welcome that saucy Southern Belle...
Moving along now, let's welcome that saucy Southern Belle...
Mulambon is anxious to legitimise himself...
Mulambon is anxious to legitimise himself...
My duty is to instruct you in the arts of sovereignty, to make you a king.
My duty is to instruct you in the arts of sovereignty, to make you a king.
My enquiries tell me that their savings have dried up. Debts are mounting.
My enquiries tell me that their savings have dried up. Debts are mounting.
My Lord?
My Lord?
My Lords and members of the House of Commons.
My Lords and members of the House of Commons.
My Lords, members of the House of Commons...
My Lords, members of the House of Commons...
My name's Miranda. And the show was terrible.
My name's Miranda. And the show was terrible.
Narrowed the gap to 164 points.
Narrowed the gap to 164 points.
Never mind him. He is not worth it.
Never mind him. He is not worth it.
Never, in recent times, has a monarch so shamed and embarrassed his country.
Never, in recent times, has a monarch so shamed and embarrassed his country.
Nevertheless, what you do is not as important as what you are.
Nevertheless, what you do is not as important as what you are.
No problem. How do you do? (YAWNS)
No problem. How do you do? (YAWNS)
No, he's here for your protection.
No, he's here for your protection.
No, I'm afraid I can't.
No, I'm afraid I can't.
No, let's wait a bit longer.
No, let's wait a bit longer.
No, nothing like that. I simply want you to spend time with him.
No, nothing like that. I simply want you to spend time with him.
No, wait, Miranda. I can explain this. Sorta.
No, wait, Miranda. I can explain this. Sorta.
No! England.
No! England.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No... I suppose not.
No... I suppose not.
Not any more. You quit, just as you quit the bear scouts.
Not any more. You quit, just as you quit the bear scouts.
Not in England. Not for royalty.
Not in England. Not for royalty.
Now I don't know if I'll ever get back to it.
Now I don't know if I'll ever get back to it.
Now that we've gotten to know each other...
Now that we've gotten to know each other...
Now that you've handled the Zambezi reception so famously...
Now that you've handled the Zambezi reception so famously...
Now the Zambezi thing's over with, I got a couple weeks of vacation coming, right?
Now the Zambezi thing's over with, I got a couple weeks of vacation coming, right?
Now this is what I call a room.
Now this is what I call a room.
Now you want me to quit on Miranda and any chance at a normal life.
Now you want me to quit on Miranda and any chance at a normal life.
Now, after three. One, two...
Now, after three. One, two...
Now, I have a little errand for you, Gordon.
Now, I have a little errand for you, Gordon.
Now, if everything proceeds as it should...
Now, if everything proceeds as it should...
Now, if the King of England were to become involved with someone like you...
Now, if the King of England were to become involved with someone like you...
Now, since he and your grandmother are both dead...
Now, since he and your grandmother are both dead...
Now, surely, you're not prepared to sacrifice their future...
Now, surely, you're not prepared to sacrifice their future...
Now, this is exceptional.
Now, this is exceptional.
Nowadays you can't be too careful. You never know who they've been with.
Nowadays you can't be too careful. You never know who they've been with.
Of course not. I am the king.
Of course not. I am the king.
Of course, once I had a steady girl, that put an end to it.
Of course, once I had a steady girl, that put an end to it.
Of course. It's been a rather disturbing day.
Of course. It's been a rather disturbing day.
Oh, blast!
Oh, blast!
Oh, here's dessert.
Oh, here's dessert.
Oh, I don't know. Certainly the fine arts.
Oh, I don't know. Certainly the fine arts.
Oh, look! See the swan?
Oh, look! See the swan?
Oh, really?
Oh, really?
Oh, this is extremely nice. Better than I'm used to.
Oh, this is extremely nice. Better than I'm used to.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yes, she loves it. Most royals do.
Oh, yes, she loves it. Most royals do.
OK, but I still think they kicked our ass.
OK, but I still think they kicked our ass.
OK, I'll give it a shot.
OK, I'll give it a shot.
On the contrary.
On the contrary.
Once they find out what a great gal you were.' And you were settin' me up!
Once they find out what a great gal you were.' And you were settin' me up!
One Gastro Death Dealer with onions, jalapeños and Tabasco.
One Gastro Death Dealer with onions, jalapeños and Tabasco.
One lump or two?
One lump or two?
One of our companies is bidding for the contract...
One of our companies is bidding for the contract...
One on English history, one on the lives of the monarchs...
One on English history, one on the lives of the monarchs...
One other thing. At your coronation four months hence...
One other thing. At your coronation four months hence...
One word of advice, if I may.
One word of advice, if I may.
One word of advice, Your Majesty. When you meet the Prime Minister...
One word of advice, Your Majesty. When you meet the Prime Minister...
One, two, three Eds, Richard two, Henry four, five, six, then who?
One, two, three Eds, Richard two, Henry four, five, six, then who?
Ooh, I'm sorry. Are you all right?
Ooh, I'm sorry. Are you all right?
Or simply to chalk it up as another failure, a monument to your own passivity.
Or simply to chalk it up as another failure, a monument to your own passivity.
Or you'll never make it around for the hip reveal.
Or you'll never make it around for the hip reveal.
Our headliner, Miss Fanny Oakley. Thank you, Fanny!
Our headliner, Miss Fanny Oakley. Thank you, Fanny!
Our representatives can get together to work out a schedule for our courtship.
Our representatives can get together to work out a schedule for our courtship.
Parliament wants me to resign. Hale agrees.
Parliament wants me to resign. Hale agrees.
Parliament?!
Parliament?!
Parliament.
Parliament.
Particularly given your less than perfect breeding.
Particularly given your less than perfect breeding.
Particularly with regard to the company they keep.
Particularly with regard to the company they keep.
Perhaps you can 'find out' why the note is written in your handwriting.
Perhaps you can 'find out' why the note is written in your handwriting.
PHIPPS: Well, you see, a king is a king for life.
PHIPPS: Well, you see, a king is a king for life.
PHIPPS: When in public, a royal personage must refrain...
PHIPPS: When in public, a royal personage must refrain...
Phippsy, you old hound! I didn't know you went for this sort of thing. Meet Miranda.
Phippsy, you old hound! I didn't know you went for this sort of thing. Meet Miranda.
Pitch a few up, bowler. Nice and slow.
Pitch a few up, bowler. Nice and slow.
Please be seated.
Please be seated.
Please remember to look straight into the lens and keep your eyes wide and bright.
Please remember to look straight into the lens and keep your eyes wide and bright.
Please wait, King Gustav. I'm sure His Majesty regrets...
Please wait, King Gustav. I'm sure His Majesty regrets...
Plus you are a relative.
Plus you are a relative.
POLICEMAN: Go through.
POLICEMAN: Go through.
Princess Anna is the best of the acceptable candidates.
Princess Anna is the best of the acceptable candidates.
Princess Anna, one of the most socially desirable women in the world.
Princess Anna, one of the most socially desirable women in the world.
Pull!
Pull!
Quickly. The strengths?
Quickly. The strengths?
Quite an eventful first day, Your Majesty. I'll leave you to rest now.
Quite an eventful first day, Your Majesty. I'll leave you to rest now.
Ralph Jones. Is he everything we might have hoped?
Ralph Jones. Is he everything we might have hoped?
Ralph Kramden.
Ralph Kramden.
Ralph Macchio. Ralph Lauren.
Ralph Macchio. Ralph Lauren.
Ralph, there's something I have to tell you.
Ralph, there's something I have to tell you.
RALPH: No problem. My schedule's pretty open.
RALPH: No problem. My schedule's pretty open.
RALPH: Shit. Can you believe that?
RALPH: Shit. Can you believe that?
RALPH: Welcome, Your Majesty, on behalf of the people of the United Kingdom.
RALPH: Welcome, Your Majesty, on behalf of the people of the United Kingdom.
Really? I might be in the market myself soon. The Rolls doesn't have much poop.
Really? I might be in the market myself soon. The Rolls doesn't have much poop.
Remember a ring she wore?
Remember a ring she wore?
Removing Jones would be a drastic measure for us to take at this juncture.
Removing Jones would be a drastic measure for us to take at this juncture.
Resulting in the emergence of several new states.
Resulting in the emergence of several new states.
Right, I'm gonna give you guys one more chance. Fetch!
Right, I'm gonna give you guys one more chance. Fetch!
Right.
Right.
Royal salute! Present... arms!
Royal salute! Present... arms!
Sausages.
Sausages.
Scarcely a minute is unaccounted for.
Scarcely a minute is unaccounted for.
Scotland Yard found the negatives in his house this morning.
Scotland Yard found the negatives in his house this morning.
Shall we dance?
Shall we dance?
Shall we sit?
Shall we sit?
Shame!
Shame!
She wants to have sex on a bed of nails on national TV...
She wants to have sex on a bed of nails on national TV...
She's already seen him twice this week.
She's already seen him twice this week.
Shoulder... arms!
Shoulder... arms!
Shut up, Dysentery. Where's your sense of national flippin' pride?
Shut up, Dysentery. Where's your sense of national flippin' pride?
Since I became king, one member of this house has worked to discredit me...
Since I became king, one member of this house has worked to discredit me...
Since this is the biggest audience I've ever had...
Since this is the biggest audience I've ever had...
Since when do we give a toss about this kind of bullshit?
Since when do we give a toss about this kind of bullshit?
Sir Cedric, the king's gone! He just walked out.
Sir Cedric, the king's gone! He just walked out.
Sir Guy Cracknell...
Sir Guy Cracknell...
Sir Ralph Jones.
Sir Ralph Jones.
Smashing show, by the way. Smashing.
Smashing show, by the way. Smashing.
So far, there are no royal luaus planned.
So far, there are no royal luaus planned.
So I should hope, Albert. First time we've had the whole family here for six years.
So I should hope, Albert. First time we've had the whole family here for six years.
So I swore Phipps to silence and decided to stay on as your private secretary.
So I swore Phipps to silence and decided to stay on as your private secretary.
So long, Dunc.
So long, Dunc.
So long, Tommie.
So long, Tommie.
So long, Your Majesty.
So long, Your Majesty.
So that you two can get to know each other better.
So that you two can get to know each other better.
So the better shot to learn initially is the forward defensive shot.
So the better shot to learn initially is the forward defensive shot.
So until he commits some grievous error, we will simply have to live with him.
So until he commits some grievous error, we will simply have to live with him.
So we've decided to invite King Mulambon of Zambezi to visit England on the 23rd.
So we've decided to invite King Mulambon of Zambezi to visit England on the 23rd.
So, Your Majesty, we would be grateful if you would host a reception for... him...
So, Your Majesty, we would be grateful if you would host a reception for... him...
So...
So...
So... where do we start?
So... where do we start?
Someone like me?
Someone like me?
Sorry, Ced.
Sorry, Ced.
Sorry, Grandpa.
Sorry, Grandpa.
Sorry, they don't feed the chickens enough over here.
Sorry, they don't feed the chickens enough over here.
Sounds like sour g****s to me, Ced. After all, we did kick your ass.
Sounds like sour g****s to me, Ced. After all, we did kick your ass.
Spotted dick?!
Spotted dick?!
Stay, boy. Stay.
Stay, boy. Stay.
Still on Vegas time, plus I haven't had a day job for four years.
Still on Vegas time, plus I haven't had a day job for four years.
Straight from Las Vegas, Nevada...
Straight from Las Vegas, Nevada...
Such a tragedy, the demise of the steel industry!
Such a tragedy, the demise of the steel industry!
Sugar?
Sugar?
Sure you will. Something'll break for ya.
Sure you will. Something'll break for ya.
Sure, I understand.
Sure, I understand.
Sure, she'd brag about it all the time. She said she got it from some prince...
Sure, she'd brag about it all the time. She said she got it from some prince...
Take this job and shove it down somebody else's throat, cos I quit! I'm outta here!
Take this job and shove it down somebody else's throat, cos I quit! I'm outta here!
Tea?
Tea?
Thank you, Ced.
Thank you, Ced.
Thank you, Your Majesty, for your tolerance.
Thank you, Your Majesty, for your tolerance.
Thank you, Your Majesty. We are honoured by your invitation.
Thank you, Your Majesty. We are honoured by your invitation.
Thank you, Your Majesty. You won't regret it.
Thank you, Your Majesty. You won't regret it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thanks a lot, guys.
Thanks a lot, guys.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Thanks. I'll try to keep that in mind.
Thanks. I'll try to keep that in mind.
Thanks. You've been a wonderful audience.
Thanks. You've been a wonderful audience.
That 'just in case' would never arise.
That 'just in case' would never arise.
That isn't a proper thing to joke about.
That isn't a proper thing to joke about.
That shirt is not yours.
That shirt is not yours.
That was a lovely dinner. I can't believe I'm eating in the throne room.
That was a lovely dinner. I can't believe I'm eating in the throne room.
That would be your line, Lord Graves, making you next in line for the throne.
That would be your line, Lord Graves, making you next in line for the throne.
That you are the new... King of England.
That you are the new... King of England.
That you never have to worry about money for the rest of your life.
That you never have to worry about money for the rest of your life.
That Zambezi will begin production of Africa's first car by the end of the year...
That Zambezi will begin production of Africa's first car by the end of the year...
That's an upholstery fabric, Your Majesty.
That's an upholstery fabric, Your Majesty.
That's George III. You may remember him.
That's George III. You may remember him.
That's it, Your Majesty. Grip the bat. Swing it vertically, not horizontally.
That's it, Your Majesty. Grip the bat. Swing it vertically, not horizontally.
That's out of the question. We haven't arranged security.
That's out of the question. We haven't arranged security.
That's pretty much my feeling.
That's pretty much my feeling.
That's right. String 'im up. Wanker!
That's right. String 'im up. Wanker!
That's the Duke of Warren, your unfortunate grandfather.
That's the Duke of Warren, your unfortunate grandfather.
The bowler is trying to hit your stump. If he does, you are out.
The bowler is trying to hit your stump. If he does, you are out.
The Finnish government has awarded its equipment contract to a Japanese firm.
The Finnish government has awarded its equipment contract to a Japanese firm.
The girls at work said it was probably some East End tart...
The girls at work said it was probably some East End tart...
The House of Wyndham can ill afford another such disaster.
The House of Wyndham can ill afford another such disaster.
The King of Finland is due here in two weeks on a state visit.
The King of Finland is due here in two weeks on a state visit.
The king said he couldn't remember when he'd had so much fun.
The king said he couldn't remember when he'd had so much fun.
The king will be with his daughter...
The king will be with his daughter...
The king's life thus far has been relatively free of achievement:
The king's life thus far has been relatively free of achievement:
The king's personal style, which had raised some eyebrows in official circles...
The king's personal style, which had raised some eyebrows in official circles...
The loss is entirely yours, or rather theirs.
The loss is entirely yours, or rather theirs.
The man's an orangutan. God help us with the King of Zambezi.
The man's an orangutan. God help us with the King of Zambezi.
The nation, the Commonwealth, and I dare say the known world await your findings.
The nation, the Commonwealth, and I dare say the known world await your findings.
The new uniforms are ready and I brought some books to read.
The new uniforms are ready and I brought some books to read.
The one who embarrassed the country and had to crawl out the back door.
The one who embarrassed the country and had to crawl out the back door.
The only thing I was ever sure of was you.
The only thing I was ever sure of was you.
The opera, the ballet, the symphony.
The opera, the ballet, the symphony.
The peak goes to the front, Your Majesty.
The peak goes to the front, Your Majesty.
The Prime Minister for you, sir.
The Prime Minister for you, sir.
The Prime Minister spoke to King Mulambon.
The Prime Minister spoke to King Mulambon.
The rain has stopped, Your Majesty. We should be able to continue with the portrait.
The rain has stopped, Your Majesty. We should be able to continue with the portrait.
The so called scandalous photographs you've heard about...
The so called scandalous photographs you've heard about...
The spotted dick is a dessert.
The spotted dick is a dessert.
The throne of England is not a job to be discarded when it's your bowling night!
The throne of England is not a job to be discarded when it's your bowling night!
Then Henrys twice and Ed the Lad.
Then Henrys twice and Ed the Lad.
Then we'll get her a G string and some pasties...
Then we'll get her a G string and some pasties...
Then why wasn't he chosen over me?
Then why wasn't he chosen over me?
There are things about me you might not like.
There are things about me you might not like.
There it is, Your Majesty. Your new home.
There it is, Your Majesty. Your new home.
There wasn't enough to live on and go to school.
There wasn't enough to live on and go to school.
There will be a photographer following you.
There will be a photographer following you.
There you go, chief.
There you go, chief.
There's considerable unrest in Africa...
There's considerable unrest in Africa...
There's no guarantee I'll be attracted to her.
There's no guarantee I'll be attracted to her.
There's no problem that can't be ignored if we put our minds to it.
There's no problem that can't be ignored if we put our minds to it.
There's only one other like it... the Duke of Warren's.
There's only one other like it... the Duke of Warren's.
There's something he wishes to talk to you about.
There's something he wishes to talk to you about.
There's still gotta be a way to get this date in. I'm serious, Ced.
There's still gotta be a way to get this date in. I'm serious, Ced.
These are traditional English dishes, some of which you will be served tonight.
These are traditional English dishes, some of which you will be served tonight.
They already sacked me. Know anybody who'd wanna buy a tearaway dress?
They already sacked me. Know anybody who'd wanna buy a tearaway dress?
They must be subordinated to the good of the monarchy.
They must be subordinated to the good of the monarchy.
They're over.
They're over.
Think! You've been made King of England. Where's the first place you would go?
Think! You've been made King of England. Where's the first place you would go?
Third Duke of Warren.
Third Duke of Warren.
This ball will be the first step toward the royal wedding of the century.
This ball will be the first step toward the royal wedding of the century.
This is a sweet Little Richard Penniman tune.
This is a sweet Little Richard Penniman tune.
This is an outrage!
This is an outrage!
This is going too far. You can't tell me who to marry.
This is going too far. You can't tell me who to marry.
This is kinda where my notes run out. I guess I'll have to wing it from here.
This is kinda where my notes run out. I guess I'll have to wing it from here.
This is more than a job.
This is more than a job.
This is my invitation to the Finnish ball.
This is my invitation to the Finnish ball.
This is ridiculous. Nobody believes me. Maybe we should get some cards printed.
This is ridiculous. Nobody believes me. Maybe we should get some cards printed.
This is the picture gallery. Many of the people in the paintings are your relatives.
This is the picture gallery. Many of the people in the paintings are your relatives.
This is Your Majesty's bedroom.
This is Your Majesty's bedroom.
This means opening three manufacturing and assembly plants in the Northeast.
This means opening three manufacturing and assembly plants in the Northeast.
This song and dance man from the colonies...
This song and dance man from the colonies...
This'll only take a minute. I'm new here. I don't know many people.
This'll only take a minute. I'm new here. I don't know many people.
Three colleges and an assortment of jobs too numerous to mention!
Three colleges and an assortment of jobs too numerous to mention!
Three.
Three.
Through here is your study...
Through here is your study...
Through those doors is your dining room, and across the way, the bath.
Through those doors is your dining room, and across the way, the bath.
Time for some of that American flamboyance.
Time for some of that American flamboyance.
To accept responsibility for once...
To accept responsibility for once...
To be the King of England is a responsibility like no other on Earth.
To be the King of England is a responsibility like no other on Earth.
To befriend him, nurture his burgeoning affection...
To befriend him, nurture his burgeoning affection...
To have you as our guest.
To have you as our guest.
To help in the mining of their vast national resources.
To help in the mining of their vast national resources.
To refuse to receive her now would be disastrous for England.
To refuse to receive her now would be disastrous for England.
To supply all the platforms and drilling equipment...
To supply all the platforms and drilling equipment...
To try to be the kind of king you could be proud of.
To try to be the kind of king you could be proud of.
Today's 'breath of fresh air' can quickly become tomorrow's 'ill wind'.
Today's 'breath of fresh air' can quickly become tomorrow's 'ill wind'.
Tommie, this is Ralph. I need a favour.
Tommie, this is Ralph. I need a favour.
Too bad it's only gonna last the rest of your life!
Too bad it's only gonna last the rest of your life!
Too often, my personal instincts conflict with my royal obligations.
Too often, my personal instincts conflict with my royal obligations.
Try to remember you're an Englishman now.
Try to remember you're an Englishman now.
Trying to get her picture in the papers.
Trying to get her picture in the papers.
Two double Whoppers with fries and two giant Cokes.
Two double Whoppers with fries and two giant Cokes.
Two double Whoppers, two fries, two giants!
Two double Whoppers, two fries, two giants!
Two for me. A little bonus there.
Two for me. A little bonus there.
Two, three, four, forward...
Two, three, four, forward...
Two, three, four, side...
Two, three, four, side...
Uh, look, my 'duties' are mostly for show, right?
Uh, look, my 'duties' are mostly for show, right?
Unfortunately, it doesn't prohibit you from creating them.
Unfortunately, it doesn't prohibit you from creating them.
Unfortunately, we're getting spirited competition from the Japanese.
Unfortunately, we're getting spirited competition from the Japanese.
Unfortunately, you can redecorate your private quarters as you see fit.
Unfortunately, you can redecorate your private quarters as you see fit.
Until such time as a simple photograph can be taken.
Until such time as a simple photograph can be taken.
Vacate your room by noon or we'll throw your stuff out.
Vacate your room by noon or we'll throw your stuff out.
Very good.
Very good.
Very nice.
Very nice.
Very well... Your Maj.
Very well... Your Maj.
Wait a minute. I thought all I was supposed to do was dress up and wave.
Wait a minute. I thought all I was supposed to do was dress up and wave.
Waltz, foxtrot, even eightsome reel.
Waltz, foxtrot, even eightsome reel.
Was his claim as strong as mine?
Was his claim as strong as mine?
Was this the ring?
Was this the ring?
We are hoping to be the first in Africa to market an automobile.
We are hoping to be the first in Africa to market an automobile.
We are on the brink of a national crisis.
We are on the brink of a national crisis.
We could tip off the press next time. Have some photographers outside.
We could tip off the press next time. Have some photographers outside.
We did have a good time, didn't we? Please don't think badly of me.
We did have a good time, didn't we? Please don't think badly of me.
We didn't want to alarm you. There's nothing to fear if precautions are taken.
We didn't want to alarm you. There's nothing to fear if precautions are taken.
We feel that you're ready to help us with a matter of even greater national import.
We feel that you're ready to help us with a matter of even greater national import.
We got the park, we got the lake, we got the moon, we got the stars.
We got the park, we got the lake, we got the moon, we got the stars.
We gotta be able to work somethin' out. Anything's possible.
We gotta be able to work somethin' out. Anything's possible.
We have nothing in common, she sounds like a tuba...
We have nothing in common, she sounds like a tuba...
We have the confession of a royal page, Gordon Halliwell, who worked with you.
We have the confession of a royal page, Gordon Halliwell, who worked with you.
We hope you had a pleasant trip.
We hope you had a pleasant trip.
We should stay with the present uniform.
We should stay with the present uniform.
We were a little nervous when we first decided to take a chance on you...
We were a little nervous when we first decided to take a chance on you...
We'll begin with the walk.
We'll begin with the walk.
We're royals. We marry for the... position.
We're royals. We marry for the... position.
We've been settin' a torrid pace in there. I hope the rest of our life isn't as wild.
We've been settin' a torrid pace in there. I hope the rest of our life isn't as wild.
Wedding? You mean her and me?
Wedding? You mean her and me?
Welcome to Windsor Castle, Your Majesty. The Prime Minister will be here shortly.
Welcome to Windsor Castle, Your Majesty. The Prime Minister will be here shortly.
Welcome, Your Majesty, on behalf of the people of the United Kingdom...
Welcome, Your Majesty, on behalf of the people of the United Kingdom...
Welcome, Your Majesty, on behalf of the people of the United Kingdom...
Welcome, Your Majesty, on behalf of the people of the United Kingdom...
Welcome, Your Majesty, on behalf of the people...
Welcome, Your Majesty, on behalf of the people...
Welcome. On behalf of the people of the United Kingdom...
Welcome. On behalf of the people of the United Kingdom...
Well, as you may have read, I love music.
Well, as you may have read, I love music.
Well, he has his strengths and his weaknesses.
Well, he has his strengths and his weaknesses.
Well, I admit I slept with a few, but I'm not like that any more.
Well, I admit I slept with a few, but I'm not like that any more.
Well, I can't help it! I'm gonna miss the geezer, all right?
Well, I can't help it! I'm gonna miss the geezer, all right?
Well, I got news for ya. My life is my own and I can't take this shit any more.
Well, I got news for ya. My life is my own and I can't take this shit any more.
Well, I guess just the seven of us.
Well, I guess just the seven of us.
Well, I guess that about does it. I know you'll do a hell of a job.
Well, I guess that about does it. I know you'll do a hell of a job.
Well, I must admit, you'll require a bit more work than I'd hoped.
Well, I must admit, you'll require a bit more work than I'd hoped.
Well, I think he did pretty well, considering. It could have been worse.
Well, I think he did pretty well, considering. It could have been worse.
Well, it's a strange world we live in, isn't it, sir?
Well, it's a strange world we live in, isn't it, sir?
Well, Jones, you really fell upstairs this time.
Well, Jones, you really fell upstairs this time.
Well, kidnapping you for ransom. In some cases, even...
Well, kidnapping you for ransom. In some cases, even...
Well, sure...
Well, sure...
Well, the first thing we're gonna have to do is buy all new globes.
Well, the first thing we're gonna have to do is buy all new globes.
Well, then, you're practically a native.
Well, then, you're practically a native.
Well... yes.
Well... yes.
Were taken and given to the King of Finland...
Were taken and given to the King of Finland...
What about them?
What about them?
What about your family?
What about your family?
What am I?
What am I?
What an unexpected surprise.
What an unexpected surprise.
What did I do now? Couple cheques bounce?
What did I do now? Couple cheques bounce?
What did they give you for the night in the park? Triple word score?
What did they give you for the night in the park? Triple word score?
What do you say that we take a little breather?
What do you say that we take a little breather?
What do you say we start over again?
What do you say we start over again?
What else do we need?
What else do we need?
What exactly is it that a king does all day?
What exactly is it that a king does all day?
What of the thousands of workers who will benefit?
What of the thousands of workers who will benefit?
What, are you crazy? What would I be doin' in here?
What, are you crazy? What would I be doin' in here?
What?
What?
What? That's everything.
What? That's everything.
What? What is it, this 'commoner' thing?
What? What is it, this 'commoner' thing?
What?! I can't do that. I don't even wanna do that.
What?! I can't do that. I don't even wanna do that.
What's on the agenda today?
What's on the agenda today?
When he calls, meet him wherever he chooses.
When he calls, meet him wherever he chooses.
When she failed to give him a son, Henry VIII had Anne Boleyn...?
When she failed to give him a son, Henry VIII had Anne Boleyn...?
Where was this when Phipps was goin' on about the castles?
Where was this when Phipps was goin' on about the castles?
Which have shamed England and cost its workers some badly needed jobs.
Which have shamed England and cost its workers some badly needed jobs.
Who are you callin' 'Ralph'? It's 'Your Majesty'!
Who are you callin' 'Ralph'? It's 'Your Majesty'!
Who reigned in glory before the Wyndhams. Make theirs a royal line again.
Who reigned in glory before the Wyndhams. Make theirs a royal line again.
Who was a waitress at the hotel where he was staying.
Who was a waitress at the hotel where he was staying.
Who, you'll be glad to know, is also a Wyndham...
Who, you'll be glad to know, is also a Wyndham...
Whoa!
Whoa!
Why do you think I kept you away from the photographers...
Why do you think I kept you away from the photographers...
Why? So you'd pick up a few pointers, just in case?
Why? So you'd pick up a few pointers, just in case?
With a vision of you bending me over the Queen Anne desk...
With a vision of you bending me over the Queen Anne desk...
With His Majesty's compliments.
With His Majesty's compliments.
With respect, your Majesty, it would be best for both of you...
With respect, your Majesty, it would be best for both of you...
With that in mind, I placed a call last night to King Mulambon of Zambezi.
With that in mind, I placed a call last night to King Mulambon of Zambezi.
With your lustrous charm...
With your lustrous charm...
Without beating retreat at the first sign of difficulty.
Without beating retreat at the first sign of difficulty.
Would this be to your liking, Your Majesty?
Would this be to your liking, Your Majesty?
Would you care for some spotted...
Would you care for some spotted...
Wouldn't that be uncomfortable, with all those pens?
Wouldn't that be uncomfortable, with all those pens?
Yeah, God knows what could happen!
Yeah, God knows what could happen!
Yeah, Gordon. Could you bring me something?
Yeah, Gordon. Could you bring me something?
Yeah, they're puttin' the pressure on me over here, too.
Yeah, they're puttin' the pressure on me over here, too.
Yeah, well, Willingham wanted it to be intimate.
Yeah, well, Willingham wanted it to be intimate.
Yeah, you are, aren't you? You're the new king!
Yeah, you are, aren't you? You're the new king!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes, Gordon, I'd like something.
Yes, Gordon, I'd like something.
Yes, he could have exposed himself, I suppose.
Yes, he could have exposed himself, I suppose.
Yes, I believe it would.
Yes, I believe it would.
Yes, it did. Now, I'm the king, right?
Yes, it did. Now, I'm the king, right?
Yes, it has, but that's not why I wanted to see you.
Yes, it has, but that's not why I wanted to see you.
Yes, it is difficult sometimes, with all the ceremonial duties and official obligations.
Yes, it is difficult sometimes, with all the ceremonial duties and official obligations.
Yes, sir. Brewer Street, Soho.
Yes, sir. Brewer Street, Soho.
Yes, thank you. Goodbye.
Yes, thank you. Goodbye.
Yes, well, of these new states...
Yes, well, of these new states...
Yes, yes, they do make a lovely couple.
Yes, yes, they do make a lovely couple.
Yes, you and her.
Yes, you and her.
Yes, Your Majesty, I couldn't.
Yes, Your Majesty, I couldn't.
Yes, Your Majesty.
Yes, Your Majesty.
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes?
Yes?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes. Or best of all...
Yes. Or best of all...
You are a good and decent man...
You are a good and decent man...
You are in a unique position to be of service to your country.
You are in a unique position to be of service to your country.
You are sworn to give me whatever information I might need, aren't you?
You are sworn to give me whatever information I might need, aren't you?
You are the only surviving royal heir in your line.
You are the only surviving royal heir in your line.
You are unsophisticated, ignorant and totally lacking in social grace.
You are unsophisticated, ignorant and totally lacking in social grace.
You are unsophisticated, ignorant and totally lacking in social grace.
You are unsophisticated, ignorant and totally lacking in social grace.
You can spell, you wear clothes to work. You just have more class, I guess.
You can spell, you wear clothes to work. You just have more class, I guess.
You can't bluff me. I know what you're after.
You can't bluff me. I know what you're after.
You can't bluff me. I know what you're after.
You can't bluff me. I know what you're after.
You could strap me to the throne with strings of pearls.
You could strap me to the throne with strings of pearls.
You don't have to look it up. We're using the King's English. If I say it, it's a word.
You don't have to look it up. We're using the King's English. If I say it, it's a word.
You don't really know me.
You don't really know me.
You got a good thing goin' here. Don't blow it.
You got a good thing goin' here. Don't blow it.
You got the breeding, the know how, you've practically been king already.
You got the breeding, the know how, you've practically been king already.
You have his chin.
You have his chin.
You just couldn't face it.
You just couldn't face it.
You just gotta remember to take a crossover step before your spinback...
You just gotta remember to take a crossover step before your spinback...
You just want more money.
You just want more money.
You just want more money.
You just want more money.
You know, I kinda like that.
You know, I kinda like that.
You know, you look familiar.
You know, you look familiar.
You little backstabbin' bitch.
You little backstabbin' bitch.
You might be thinking what name you'd like to use as king.
You might be thinking what name you'd like to use as king.
You must accept some limitations on your personal freedom, and on your wardrobe.
You must accept some limitations on your personal freedom, and on your wardrobe.
You must become a symbol of all that is best about England.
You must become a symbol of all that is best about England.
You must have collected several tails.
You must have collected several tails.
You or your family.
You or your family.
You owe it to them and to yourself.
You owe it to them and to yourself.
You realise, don't you, that you're looking at the fall of the House of Wyndham?
You realise, don't you, that you're looking at the fall of the House of Wyndham?
You said you were nervous when you first decided on me or something like that.
You said you were nervous when you first decided on me or something like that.
You see, the late king's uncle, the Duke of Warren...
You see, the late king's uncle, the Duke of Warren...
You see... he's an American.
You see... he's an American.
You should practise wearing it to get used to the weight.
You should practise wearing it to get used to the weight.
You showed me how to be a king.
You showed me how to be a king.
You wanna go get a beer?
You wanna go get a beer?
You want me to marry one I don't know at all!
You want me to marry one I don't know at all!
You wanted to see me, Your Majesty?
You wanted to see me, Your Majesty?
You went for it? You let him bribe you?
You went for it? You let him bribe you?
You were England to me, Miranda.
You were England to me, Miranda.
You will be required to wear the imperial state crown.
You will be required to wear the imperial state crown.
You will, in keeping with tradition, be hosting a royal banquet for him.
You will, in keeping with tradition, be hosting a royal banquet for him.
You wouldn't have any official obligations...
You wouldn't have any official obligations...
You'd walk out on the English people?
You'd walk out on the English people?
You'll have to excuse him, Prime Minister. He is more of a night owl.
You'll have to excuse him, Prime Minister. He is more of a night owl.
You'll probably have to work on your dancing, though.
You'll probably have to work on your dancing, though.
You're good, Dunc. Real good.
You're good, Dunc. Real good.
You're right. Then there'd be more to give back.
You're right. Then there'd be more to give back.
You're the last of the Wyndhams. A queen must be found to perpetuate the line.
You're the last of the Wyndhams. A queen must be found to perpetuate the line.
Your evening cocoa, Your Majesty.
Your evening cocoa, Your Majesty.
Your family, your government and the people of England are counting on you.
Your family, your government and the people of England are counting on you.
Your father and brother have been out of work for almost a year, haven't they?
Your father and brother have been out of work for almost a year, haven't they?
Your Majesty may remember, in 1936...
Your Majesty may remember, in 1936...
Your Majesty, for the sake of the monarchy, this gives you little choice...
Your Majesty, for the sake of the monarchy, this gives you little choice...
Your Majesty, here's a burger on the house.
Your Majesty, here's a burger on the house.
Your Majesty, may I present His Royal Highness King Mulambon of Zambezi.
Your Majesty, may I present His Royal Highness King Mulambon of Zambezi.
Your Majesty, may I present the Prime Minister, Geoffrey Hale?
Your Majesty, may I present the Prime Minister, Geoffrey Hale?
Your Majesty, one of the guests asked me to give you this.
Your Majesty, one of the guests asked me to give you this.
Your Majesty, the Sovereign King Mulambon of Zambezi.
Your Majesty, the Sovereign King Mulambon of Zambezi.
Your Majesty, there are elements at large who might seek to do the king harm...
Your Majesty, there are elements at large who might seek to do the king harm...
Your Majesty.
Your Majesty.
Your Majesty.
Your Majesty.
Your Majesty.
Your Majesty.
Your Royal Highness.
Your Royal Highness.
Zambezi is the most important, owing to its recently discovered mineral wealth.
Zambezi is the most important, owing to its recently discovered mineral wealth.
72 per cent of the people see the ascendancy to the throne of England...
72 per cent of the people see the ascendancy to the throne of England...
...for their own personal ends. What kinda harm?
...for their own personal ends. What kinda harm?
...whose fingerprints were on the photos. So? I saw them at the ball.
...whose fingerprints were on the photos. So? I saw them at the ball.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) The son of an itinerant pool player...
(KNOCK AT DOOR) The son of an itinerant pool player...
A lot of girls have trouble first night. This is my only night.
A lot of girls have trouble first night. This is my only night.
Alan! Look, I'll make you a deal.
Alan! Look, I'll make you a deal.
All set up, sir. Thank you. We're ready now, everybody.
All set up, sir. Thank you. We're ready now, everybody.
And I love to travel. Oh, yeah? Me too.
And I love to travel. Oh, yeah? Me too.
And please, call me Ralph. Oh, I'm sorry. I could never do that.
And please, call me Ralph. Oh, I'm sorry. I could never do that.
And Princess Anna. Princess Anna.
And Princess Anna. Princess Anna.
Anna, we are going. I want to know who that girl was.
Anna, we are going. I want to know who that girl was.
Anything. Anything, Your Majesty?
Anything. Anything, Your Majesty?
Are you alone? Yeah. There's somethin' I wanna do.
Are you alone? Yeah. There's somethin' I wanna do.
As I figured. I pay you, right? You don't need money.
As I figured. I pay you, right? You don't need money.
Brady, I got that 20 for you tomorrow. Yeah, right!
Brady, I got that 20 for you tomorrow. Yeah, right!
But... Just do it.
But... Just do it.
Cub scouts. Little League, high school band...
Cub scouts. Little League, high school band...
Dick of what? These are the bangers.
Dick of what? These are the bangers.
Did I say that, Your Majesty? Yes, you did.
Did I say that, Your Majesty? Yes, you did.
Did you have a nice nap? I guess the jet lag caught up with me.
Did you have a nice nap? I guess the jet lag caught up with me.
discuss the mood of the country... Alan!
discuss the mood of the country... Alan!
Do you guys work here? Well, no.
Do you guys work here? Well, no.
Do you remember your grandmother? Connie? Yeah.
Do you remember your grandmother? Connie? Yeah.
Excuse me, Sir Cedric. Yes?
Excuse me, Sir Cedric. Yes?
Fire away, Geoff. As you may know...
Fire away, Geoff. As you may know...
Good evening, Your Majesty. Thanks.
Good evening, Your Majesty. Thanks.
Good. I got a few ideas. The velours industry is on stand by.
Good. I got a few ideas. The velours industry is on stand by.
Got any money? I haven't been paid. Sure.
Got any money? I haven't been paid. Sure.
Great to see you! Why are you here? What do you mean?
Great to see you! Why are you here? What do you mean?
Have we got a deal? Yes, all right, fine.
Have we got a deal? Yes, all right, fine.
Have you ever been to Hoover Dam? No, I missed that one.
Have you ever been to Hoover Dam? No, I missed that one.
Hear! Hear! Must we stand idly by...
Hear! Hear! Must we stand idly by...
Hello, Ralph. Miranda?
Hello, Ralph. Miranda?
Hey, Ced. Yes?
Hey, Ced. Yes?
Hi. Good day, Your Majesty.
Hi. Good day, Your Majesty.
How about one of the maids? Your Majesty...
How about one of the maids? Your Majesty...
How about some onion rings? Your Majesty, I've got your burger.
How about some onion rings? Your Majesty, I've got your burger.
How's it going, Your Majesty? Great.
How's it going, Your Majesty? Great.
I didn't know he already had photos. Yeah, right!
I didn't know he already had photos. Yeah, right!
I didn't know Zambezi even had a king. They didn't until recently.
I didn't know Zambezi even had a king. They didn't until recently.
I do believe we've found an heir. That's wonderful, Duncan. Who is it?
I do believe we've found an heir. That's wonderful, Duncan. Who is it?
I don't even know what our virtues are. You will learn soon enough.
I don't even know what our virtues are. You will learn soon enough.
I don't think we should see each other. What?
I don't think we should see each other. What?
I don't think... I don't want it back.
I don't think... I don't want it back.
I plan to claim victory with this throw. Be careful not to foot fault there.
I plan to claim victory with this throw. Be careful not to foot fault there.
I really did all right then, huh? Yes, but don't let it go to your head.
I really did all right then, huh? Yes, but don't let it go to your head.
I really need a night out, Gordon. There are easier ways.
I really need a night out, Gordon. There are easier ways.
I think I'm gonna need a new burger. Over here, Your Majesty.
I think I'm gonna need a new burger. Over here, Your Majesty.
I told you I was the wrong guy for this. You're wrong for everything, Ralph.
I told you I was the wrong guy for this. You're wrong for everything, Ralph.
I'm Cedric Willingham. Glad to meet ya, Ced.
I'm Cedric Willingham. Glad to meet ya, Ced.
I'm puttin' Mitzi in your slot. (MITZI GABBERS)
I'm puttin' Mitzi in your slot. (MITZI GABBERS)
I'm ready to go now, though. Good. There's much to cover.
I'm ready to go now, though. Good. There's much to cover.
I'm sorry. I can't do this. (MUSIC STOPS)
I'm sorry. I can't do this. (MUSIC STOPS)
I'm the new king here. The king of what? Burlesque?
I'm the new king here. The king of what? Burlesque?
Is this gun loaded, Ced? Yes.
Is this gun loaded, Ced? Yes.
Isn't being king worth something? Yes, that's why you must marry.
Isn't being king worth something? Yes, that's why you must marry.
It seems to be going well, Willingham. Yes.
It seems to be going well, Willingham. Yes.
It would never work out. Why not?
It would never work out. Why not?
It's a pleasure to meet Your Majesty. Think nothing of it. Call me Ralph.
It's a pleasure to meet Your Majesty. Think nothing of it. Call me Ralph.
Just turn in your tux, Jones. What?
Just turn in your tux, Jones. What?
Look into adoption? Beheaded.
Look into adoption? Beheaded.
Lord Graves came to see me. Graves?
Lord Graves came to see me. Graves?
May I present Queen Katherine. Queen Katherine.
May I present Queen Katherine. Queen Katherine.
Maybe something else'll come along. Will it?
Maybe something else'll come along. Will it?
McGuire's with him. We've got to find him before the press.
McGuire's with him. We've got to find him before the press.
Miranda Greene? Yes.
Miranda Greene? Yes.
Mrs Greene? Yes?
Mrs Greene? Yes?
No game like it for a gentleman. I've heard that.
No game like it for a gentleman. I've heard that.
Not on the line? Makes no difference.
Not on the line? Makes no difference.
Of course. And write this on the back.
Of course. And write this on the back.
Oh, look! It's the king! RALPH: No, you got the wrong guy.
Oh, look! It's the king! RALPH: No, you got the wrong guy.
Oh, yes, indeed. And as my assistant private secretary...
Oh, yes, indeed. And as my assistant private secretary...
One club or another. Really? That often?
One club or another. Really? That often?
RALPH: You haven't seen this, Gordon. Haven't seen what, Your Majesty?
RALPH: You haven't seen this, Gordon. Haven't seen what, Your Majesty?
Reclining buckets? Rear spoiler? No, but it'll get excellent gas mileage.
Reclining buckets? Rear spoiler? No, but it'll get excellent gas mileage.
She didn't like fox hunting? Well, of course not!
She didn't like fox hunting? Well, of course not!
Sherry? Please, yes.
Sherry? Please, yes.
So he was English? Yes.
So he was English? Yes.
Thank you for a lovely evening. Thank you.
Thank you for a lovely evening. Thank you.
Thank you. Excuse me, my Lord.
Thank you. Excuse me, my Lord.
Thanks, but I don't need the money. (LAUGHS)
Thanks, but I don't need the money. (LAUGHS)
The fries aren't ready. There'll be photographers everywhere.
The fries aren't ready. There'll be photographers everywhere.
The princess is lovely, isn't she? She doesn't say much...
The princess is lovely, isn't she? She doesn't say much...
The servants might see us. I would hope so.
The servants might see us. I would hope so.
The word 'decide' got me thinking. Did it, Your Majesty?
The word 'decide' got me thinking. Did it, Your Majesty?
Then what are you doing backstage? Well, it's OK.
Then what are you doing backstage? Well, it's OK.
Then, of course, we went to Ascot. Oh. What country is that in?
Then, of course, we went to Ascot. Oh. What country is that in?
There's gotta be some place we can go Well, maybe one.
There's gotta be some place we can go Well, maybe one.
There's no such word as 'yo'. Are you crazy? I use it all the time.
There's no such word as 'yo'. Are you crazy? I use it all the time.
There's something I have to tell you. Yeah, I was just gonna call you.
There's something I have to tell you. Yeah, I was just gonna call you.
These friends of yours? No.
These friends of yours? No.
This car gonna have fuel injection? Everything. Five speed transmission...
This car gonna have fuel injection? Everything. Five speed transmission...
To begin with. I don't believe this.
To begin with. I don't believe this.
To protect your birthright. What about matters of the heart?
To protect your birthright. What about matters of the heart?
We prefer Deauville. Deauville?
We prefer Deauville. Deauville?
We're not renewing you after this week. What?!
We're not renewing you after this week. What?!
What do you think I should do? I'm in no position to give advice.
What do you think I should do? I'm in no position to give advice.
What the hell did you do that for? We've got to go.
What the hell did you do that for? We've got to go.
What was that, a five? No, it was a three.
What was that, a five? No, it was a three.
What's this? What's what?
What's this? What's what?
What's wrong with 'Ralph'? It lacks a certain... majesty.
What's wrong with 'Ralph'? It lacks a certain... majesty.
Which room's mine? Um... all of them.
Which room's mine? Um... all of them.
Who are you? Ralph Jones. You know...
Who are you? Ralph Jones. You know...
Who is this girl? Miranda. Who are you?
Who is this girl? Miranda. Who are you?
Who said that? Have you seen today's Bugle?
Who said that? Have you seen today's Bugle?
Who's Alan? The bouncer.
Who's Alan? The bouncer.
Why are you guys in here? Hold on.
Why are you guys in here? Hold on.
Why didn't anyone stop him? We tried, sir, but he is the king.
Why didn't anyone stop him? We tried, sir, but he is the king.
Yeah? What does a sacred trust pay? You don't get a salary, as such.
Yeah? What does a sacred trust pay? You don't get a salary, as such.
You called, Your Majesty? Which one are you, again?
You called, Your Majesty? Which one are you, again?
You dance great. (DEEP VOICE) Oh, thank you. So do you.
You dance great. (DEEP VOICE) Oh, thank you. So do you.
you don't really have a Vegas accent. I wouldn't know. I've never been there.
you don't really have a Vegas accent. I wouldn't know. I've never been there.
You guys got a piano? No, but we've got a harpsichord.
You guys got a piano? No, but we've got a harpsichord.
You guys ready? We'll do the best we can, Your Majesty.
You guys ready? We'll do the best we can, Your Majesty.
You should get back to the palace now. I don't wanna get back to the palace.
You should get back to the palace now. I don't wanna get back to the palace.
You wanted to see me, Your Majesty? Yes, Ced. Come on in.
You wanted to see me, Your Majesty? Yes, Ced. Come on in.
You will get used to it. I got no family, no sex life.
You will get used to it. I got no family, no sex life.
You're asking me to sleep with him? Oh, no, no, no.
You're asking me to sleep with him? Oh, no, no, no.
You're good. Can I get a set of those? I'll send you one.
You're good. Can I get a set of those? I'll send you one.
You're not gonna do it, are you? I don't know.
You're not gonna do it, are you? I don't know.
You're serious about this. Yes!
You're serious about this. Yes!
Your Majesty? Yes?
Your Majesty? Yes?
Your Majesty. Got a second?
Your Majesty. Got a second?
Your Majesty. I got a little number I'd like to do.
Your Majesty. I got a little number I'd like to do.
Your Majesty. You don't have to worry about that.
Your Majesty. You don't have to worry about that.
...then the pressure on him to abdicate would be considerable.
...then the pressure on him to abdicate would be considerable.
'Edward' and 'George' have been popular this century.
'Edward' and 'George' have been popular this century.
'Stay away from her. She's the wrong class.' And I ignored 'em!
'Stay away from her. She's the wrong class.' And I ignored 'em!
'Will this get me laid?'
'Will this get me laid?'
“from chewing gum, using profanity...
“from chewing gum, using profanity...
“picking his nose, scratching his private parts...
“picking his nose, scratching his private parts...
(# "GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY" BY LITTLE RICHARD)
(# "GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY" BY LITTLE RICHARD)
(# AMERICAN DIXIE TUNE)
(# AMERICAN DIXIE TUNE)
(# BRASS BAND PLAYS)
(# BRASS BAND PLAYS)
(# SCALE WITH WRONG NOTE)
(# SCALE WITH WRONG NOTE)
(# SLOW WALTZ)
(# SLOW WALTZ)
(# STATELY PROCESSIONAL)
(# STATELY PROCESSIONAL)
(BELL RINGS)
(BELL RINGS)
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR OPENS)
(FANFARE)
(FANFARE)
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
(MITZI SCREAMS)
(MITZI SCREAMS)
(MURMURING AND BOOING)
(MURMURING AND BOOING)
(PHONE RINGS)
(PHONE RINGS)
(PHONE RINGS)
(PHONE RINGS)
(PHONE RINGS)
(PHONE RINGS)
(PIANO PLAYS)
(PIANO PLAYS)
(SNORES)
(SNORES)
(SNORING)
(SNORING)
(SQUEALING)
(SQUEALING)
(STRIPPING MUSIC)
(STRIPPING MUSIC)
(TWO KNOCKS)
(TWO KNOCKS)
(WHISTLES)
(WHISTLES)
(WHISTLING AND BOOING)
(WHISTLING AND BOOING)
(WHISTLING AND CHEERING)
(WHISTLING AND CHEERING)
# And no one can hurt you, no, no
# And no one can hurt you, no, no
# And the paradise we will share
# And the paradise we will share
# And when I hold you, you'll be my duchess
# And when I hold you, you'll be my duchess
# And you, you are my girl
# And you, you are my girl
# As I walk through this world
# As I walk through this world
# Be bop a lula
# Be bop a lula
# Can't hear your mama call
# Can't hear your mama call
# Can't hear your mama call
# Can't hear your mama call
# Can't hear your mama call
# Can't hear your mama call
# Can't hear your mama call
# Can't hear your mama call
# Come on, baby, hold me, darlin'
# Come on, baby, hold me, darlin'
# Come on, let me hold you, darlin'
# Come on, let me hold you, darlin'
# Cos I'm the Duke of Earl
# Cos I'm the Duke of Earl
# Cos I'm the Duke of Earl
# Cos I'm the Duke of Earl
# Duke of Earl
# Duke of Earl
# Duke of Earl, duke, duke
# Duke of Earl, duke, duke
# Duke of Earl, duke, duke
# Duke of Earl, duke, duke
# Duke of Earl, duke, duke
# Duke of Earl, duke, duke
# Duke of Earl, duke, duke
# Duke of Earl, duke, duke
# Duke of Earl, duke, duke
# Duke of Earl, duke, duke
# Duke of Earl, duke, duke...
# Duke of Earl, duke, duke...
# Duke, duke, duke
# Duke, duke, duke
# Duke, duke, duke
# Duke, duke, duke
# From the early, early mornin' to the early, early night
# From the early, early mornin' to the early, early night
# God save the king
# God save the king
# God save the king
# God save the king
# God save the king
# God save the king
# God save the king
# God save the king
# God save the king
# God save the king
# Goin' to the corner, gonna buy a diamond ring
# Goin' to the corner, gonna buy a diamond ring
# Goin' to the corner, gonna buy a diamond ring
# Goin' to the corner, gonna buy a diamond ring
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good golly, Miss Molly
# Good night!
# Good night!
# I don't mean maybe
# I don't mean maybe
# If they knew about Miss Molly, I'd have to watch my pa myself
# If they knew about Miss Molly, I'd have to watch my pa myself
# In the wine
# In the wine
# Know I'm gonna love you
# Know I'm gonna love you
# Know I'm gonna love you
# Know I'm gonna love you
# Make me happy
# Make me happy
# Make me warm all over
# Make me warm all over
# Mama, papa, told me: son, you'd better watch yourself
# Mama, papa, told me: son, you'd better watch yourself
# Miss Molly
# Miss Molly
# My Duchess of Earl
# My Duchess of Earl
# Nothing can stop the Duke of Earl
# Nothing can stop the Duke of Earl
# Oh, how they make me feel fine
# Oh, how they make me feel fine
# Oh, whoa
# Oh, whoa
# Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
# Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
# Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
# Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
# Rule Britannia
# Rule Britannia
# She's my baby
# She's my baby
# Sure like to ball
# Sure like to ball
# Sure like to ball
# Sure like to ball
# Sure like to ball
# Sure like to ball
# Sure like to ball
# Sure like to ball
# Sure like to ball
# Sure like to ball
# Sure like to ball
# Sure like to ball
# Till the end of time
# Till the end of time
# Tiny bubbles
# Tiny bubbles
# Tiny bubbles
# Tiny bubbles
# We'll walk through my dukedom
# We'll walk through my dukedom
# Well, be bop a lula
# Well, be bop a lula
# Well, from the early, early mornin' to the early, early night
# Well, from the early, early mornin' to the early, early night
# Well, good golly, Miss Molly
# Well, good golly, Miss Molly
# When I caught Miss Molly rockin' at the house of blue light
# When I caught Miss Molly rockin' at the house of blue light
# When she hugged me and kissed me, made me ting a ling a ling
# When she hugged me and kissed me, made me ting a ling a ling
# When you're rockin' and rollin'
# When you're rockin' and rollin'
# When you're rockin' and rollin'
# When you're rockin' and rollin'
# When you're rockin' and you're rollin'
# When you're rockin' and you're rollin'
# Whoa, whoa
# Whoa, whoa
# Whoa, you got me, Miss Molly, yeah
# Whoa, you got me, Miss Molly, yeah
# Whoa!
# Whoa!
# Why do you so like to throw a ball?
# Why do you so like to throw a ball?
# With the feelin' that I'm gonna love you
# With the feelin' that I'm gonna love you
# Yeah, good golly, Miss Molly
# Yeah, good golly, Miss Molly
# Yeah, good golly, Miss Molly
# Yeah, good golly, Miss Molly
# Yeah, good golly, Miss Molly
# Yeah, good golly, Miss Molly
# Yeah, she sure likes to ball
# Yeah, she sure likes to ball
# Yes, I
# Yes, I
# Yes, I
# Yes, I
# You can hear Miss Molly call my name, she's groanin' for her life
# You can hear Miss Molly call my name, she's groanin' for her life
# You can't hear your mama call
# You can't hear your mama call
# You can't hear your mama call
# You can't hear your mama call
# You can't hear your mama call
# You can't hear your mama call
# You can't hear your mama call
# You can't hear your mama call
# You like to ball
# You like to ball
# You sure like to ball
# You sure like to ball
# You sure like to ball
# You sure like to ball
# You sure like to ball
# You sure like to ball
# You're rockin' and a rollin'
# You're rockin' and a rollin'
# You're rockin' and a rollin'
# You're rockin' and a rollin'
# You're rockin' and a rollin'
# You're rockin' and a rollin'
# You're rockin' and a rollin'
# You're rockin' and a rollin'
# You're rockin' and a rollin'
# You're rockin' and a rollin'
ÂŁ15,000 to start. And if you're successful, enough to ensure...
ÂŁ15,000 to start. And if you're successful, enough to ensure...

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