The Pink Panther Edit

A bit of a reach. Wait a minute. I'll get it.

A complication!

A couple of "dolvargars."

A couple of "hambwortsforts."

A crime is like a jigsaw puzzle.

A hamburger.

A hopeless, deluded idiot.

A lot of people hated Gluant.

A man sitting here in your private suite...

A man who follows orders and doesn't ask questions.

A poison dart in his neck.

A police officer in some little village far outside of Paris.

A sloping thing.

A stunning shot to the head...

A woman is like a...

About life, about love. Yes, you little wet puppy.

According to statute 87223, every trainer of the national soccer team...

After Gluant came to me, he said he decided to stop cheating on me.

After he cheated on me...

After he was killed, I thought...

Again!

Agreed?

All clear, keep it moving.

All in favor?

All members must be...

All right, I'll just show you.

All right, you are ready to go.

All right.

All right.

Am I that obvious?

An amazing woman.

An unimaginative, by the book, low level incompetent...

And as I do not want a partner who makes me duller...

And because of my recent nomination for the Medal of Honor.

And bring my vinyl bag marked "presidential palace."

And close to the body was the singer, Xania.

And engage in a little verbal jousting.

And had him killed.

And here's another one for you!

And how many suspects do you have?

And hurry! Xania is in grave danger.

And I intend to show the world exactly who I am...

And I will be done with you.

And I'm wondering if you... Yes.

And I've been given the opportunity of a lifetime.

And if I am going to America...

And if I ever made you look foolish...

And if it turns out to be me...

And in today's world, the slightest gesture...

And it is late, and I would prefer not to put you or me...

And laws of the great nation of France...

And now he is dead...

And now if you will excuse me, ex inspector, I must go and prepare...

And parade him through the party.

And possibly taping for later playback...

And she has on...

And she is wearing high heels.

And Sister Marie Hugette...

And that the killer will strike again tonight.

And the Pink Panther diamond...

And theft of the Pink Panther diamond.

And then the Medal of Honor will be mine.

And then there was gunfire.

And then, in front of a stadium filled with people...

And then...

And this was after he said he loved me.

And together...

And treated you like you were nothing.

And treats me like I'm dead. Fine. Now he is dead from Chinese poison.

And understand the location of the occipital...

And we must use the gentle healing power of laughter.

And we will hunt down the killer, retrieve the Pink Panther diamond...

And what are you doing here sneaking around?

And what I can do. I must not fail.

And what is it you are cutting?

And what is it you do here, Yuri the trainer?

And what is that?

And what is that?

And where is the press conference?

And while he is getting nowhere...

And who are you?

And who is this incompetent?

And yet the in...

And you are?

And you do not turn around. Remain calm. Do not turn around.

And you have his job.

And you look beautiful without your glasses.

And your first case is the Gluant murder...

And, Ponton...

Anyway, the coach of the French team, Yves Gluant...

Are you feeling any better? I am so sorry, inspector.

Are you feeling better?

Artichoke.

As chief inspector of the Police Nationale...

Assign a man to be his driver who can report on his whereabouts at all times.

At the international championship semifinal...

At your big brass bowls.

Because a stupid idiot named Clouseau...

Because justice is justice...

Because next week I have something...

Because of the unique nature of the crime...

Because, you know, it's a big deal to be talked about on TV.

Behind you in the casino are the Gas Mask Bandits.

Being an inspector, you'll need some new clothes.

Bizu had often heard Yuri's rants against Gluant.

Bizu is innocent.

Bizu wanted to kill him, but is now himself dead.

Bizu, I like you.

Bizu...

Bonjour, Nicole.

Boswell. Nigel Boswell. Agent 006.

Bravo, chief inspector.

Bravo!

Brimming with self confidence and completely lost.

Burrowing deeply into the occipital lobe.

But about the crime you may know a lot.

But after a while his losses became so ridiculous...

But being a compulsive gambler, Gluant took the money...

But do you think the weather...

But frankly, it was the expression on your face...

But I am quite sensitive to office gender politics.

But I can't let the Gas Mask Bandits escape.

But I don't know anything.

But I have a message for the killer:

But I have to go to Asia.

But I suspect she knows more than she is telling me.

But I'm flying to Montserrat to record Rene Duchanel...

But I'm flying to Montserrat to record Rene Duchanel...

But it was bigger than Chief Inspector Dreyfus' picture.

But some lucky bastard beat me to it.

But someone had words with Gluant...

But still, seven nominations...

But that desk was...

But that will come off.

But what about all the reporters who will want to come in?

But why would he follow you?

But you hated her. And that's why you are trying to kill her.

But you have one of these, you just snap it open and you are ready to go.

But you stood to gain from Gluant's death, didn't you?

But Yuri is a soccer trainer.

But, inspector, how did you know she had it?

But, Ponton, think back. You were there.

By the end of regulation time the score was tied...

Call me if you need any help.

Can be misinterpreted as harassment.

Can you think of anyone else who might have hated Gluant?

Can you think of anyone else who might have hated Gluant?

Can't you see she's sexy?

Can't you see these dancers are exhausted?

Catapult me to the National Assembly, and after that, who knows?

Certainly, mademoiselle.

Charles Dreyfus...

Chief inspector, I'm sure you're familiar...

Chief inspector...

Cigarette?

Clouseau generated many...

Clouseau was just a little nobody.

Clouseau, I have reviewed your records, and it is clear to me...

Clouseau, the reason we called you here...

Clouseau!

Clouseau! Arrest him.

Clouseau! Clouseau! Clouseau! Clouseau!

Clouseau?

Clouseau?

Clouseau?

Clouseau.

Clouseau.

Coincidentally, Dr. Pang would send Gluant large sums of money.

Come with me, sir.

Coming through. Thank you.

Completely.

Corbeille, I want you on the next flight to Beijing.

Could I see you in my office in a few minutes?

Could I see you in my office in a few minutes?

Could you hold that, please?

Credit card number:

Did you say that booth was soundproof?

Did you?

Do I have to stay in town?

Do not leave Europe or Asia.

Do not leave Europe, Asia or the Americas.

Do not leave Europe.

Do you get lonely?

Do you have a pair of high heels in that bag?

Do you mind if I have these? I haven't eaten.

[email protected].

Does Clouseau think the Bandits are connected to the Pink Panther?

Does it hurt?

Don't ask why, just do it.

Don't jump. Yes, that's good. All right.

Don't write that down.

Don't you find it a bit of a coincidence...

Dr. Pang has arrived.

Dreyfus must have made sure you cannot get in.

Drive.

Eight o'clock.

Every hour, 24 hours a day.

Everything else follows like liquid mercury...

Everything I have learned in a lifetime of investigating is coming into play.

Excellent idea.

Excellent, inspector.

Excuse me, do you think it's possible...

Excuse me.

Expert marksmen... Expert marksmen.

Farmers.

Fascinating man.

Feel free to go where you wish.

Find out what Gluant did there, who he saw, where he went.

Floor 12.

Flowing down a... A...

For a patriotic Frenchman and a true fan like myself...

For me...

For some exhibition games.

For the arrest which will win me the Medal of Honor...

For them, the world had stopped.

Forensic science and the latest in technology...

France against China, with the winner advancing to the finals.

From Larocque. A motive!

Gain? What would I gain?

Gentlemen, and lady, good morning.

Gentlemen, something has come up. Please excuse me.

Get him!

Get used to it, Ponton. With me, surprises are rarely unexpected.

Gilbert Ponton, I vow to teach you everything I know about police work.

Gilbert Ponton. Detective, second class.

Give it back.

Give it to me. Airline food is for suckers.

Gluant is the victim.

Gluant recruited me from the Russian military gym.

Gluant suspended Bizu. He stole his girlfriend.

Gluant was in China...

Gluant was in China...

Gluant was nothing!

Gluant was siphoning money out faster than it came in.

Gluant was siphoning off money...

Gluant would steal money from the restaurants and use it to gamble.

Gluant.

Gluant's girlfriend at that time...

Gluant's share of the restaurants.

Go and fetch them some water.

Go under the arch...

Go, go, go, go, go.

Go, go!

Good for you.

Good idea, Ponton. To let the subconscious mind...

Good luck to you.

Good luck.

Good morning, mademoiselle.

Good morning, monsieur.

Good one.

Good one.

Good teamwork.

Good work, Ponton. We're in.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Hamburger.

Hamburger.

Hamburger.

Hand over the diamond, Yuri.

He believes it belongs to him.

He does not have the diamond.

He had the opportunity.

He has been disgraced and humiliated.

He inherited it. It cost him nothing.

He is dead.

He is finished. Let him go home to obscurity.

He is no longer allowed at state affairs.

He is outside on the practice field.

He might draw the wrong conclusion.

He promised me his ring as collateral.

He raised his fist to the crowd.

He sent out word threatening to kill anyone...

He takes credit for brilliant French defense which I gave him...

He thought Gluant was a bad guy for stealing me away.

He was the village idiot as far as I could tell.

He was, of course, in the VIP box when Gluant was killed.

He won't know what we are talking about."

He'll be easy to spot. He's got white hair, a thin mustache...

He'll be right with you.

He's dead.

He's perfect.

Hello, old friend.

Hello?

Hello?

Here is your mojito.

Here we are.

Here, if you would be so kind, please.

Here's your problem.

Hi. Yes, thank you.

His name is Clouseau.

His partner in those stupid restaurants, Larocque.

How can you say that?

How could Inspector Clouseau be with a simple woman?

How is it I was not informed of Clouseau's going to that casino?

How long do you think it will take to find the killer?

How so, chief inspector?

I am going to be frank.

I am going to have to speak with a flawless American accent...

I am Inspector Clouseau. Perhaps you have heard of me.

I am Inspector Jacques Clouseau.

I am Inspector Jacques Clouseau. I am here on a very important case.

I am investigating the murder of Yves Gluant.

I am looking for a dead body. Perhaps you can tell me where it is.

I am pleased to announce that I am personally taking over...

I am so sorry, Officer Clouseau.

I am sorry.

I am Yuri, the trainer.

I arrest you for the murder of Yves Gluant.

I arrest you for the murder of Yves Gluant.

I assure you, inspector...

I can take your measurements and have something sent over.

I can't be seen at a diamond cutter.

I can't take you to Bizu, but I can take you to Monsieur Vainqueur...

I can't thank you enough for giving me...

I can't understand you.

I cannot accept this.

I cannot comment on ongoing investigations.

I certainly hope so.

I consider her the most beautiful woman in the world.

I don't have any thugs.

I don't... I don't even own a mace. I don't know where that came from.

I drew up the plays.

I enlarged the photo...

I find your accent quite funny.

I got her hotel phone records.

I got your pants back from the tailor.

I had been invited, as chief inspector of the Police Nationale.

I hated him.

I have been nominated seven times.

I have come up with a plan to keep you as sharp as possible.

I have decided to promote you to inspector...

I have in my pocket...

I have just slipped my cell phone number into your pocket.

I have never won.

I have to solve a murder.

I have waited a long time to prove myself.

I have, in my pocket...

I hear many stories of our officers in the field.

I heard Bizu say:

I heard movement on the other side of the locker room door.

I hereby appoint you full inspector...

I hope the weather continues.

I hope the weather...

I hope you don't mind I let myself in with the spare key.

I just wanted to see where you are with the investigation.

I know what he's up to. He wants to try to make the arrest himself.

I know what we need for the Gluant case.

I know you didn't do it.

I may have to pump her for information.

I may have to seduce her, Ponton, in order to get her to talk.

I mean, is there a woman in your life?

I need your help. Now, it's very important that you remain calm...

I never see you with women.

I never thought for a moment I would have any use for him...

I only made you inspector because I needed someone...

I owe it all to you, chief inspector. Without you, I would be nothing.

I put it here.

I put it...

I see you have one of these collapsible pointers.

I smell something fishy.

I still think she is hiding something, Ponton.

I take the mouse and I click, but do not drag...

I take the other one...

I think if you put your leg right there...

I think they drew the chalk outline later.

I thought I would stop by and let you know how we are doing on the case.

I thought you said:

I train.

I used to practice on mannequins, pillows...

I want to interrogate every person in Paris with the name "You."

I want to know of Clouseau's whereabouts...

I want to talk to him now.

I want you to meet me at the presidential palace.

I was afraid of Larocque.

I was angry. I caught him with another woman.

I was dating Bizu when I met Gluant.

I was in New York to see a diamond cutter.

I was looking at a photo of myself at the checkpoint.

I was trying to catch a killer.

I was wondering if you think it's going to stay this mild.

I will cherish this forever.

I will put together the finest team of investigators in France...

I will remember that.

I will smuggle this on. Just act cool.

I will soon have your criminal cornered like a...

I will, inspector.

I would have loved to have killed him.

I would like to add one more name for the committee's consideration.

I would like to buy a damburger.

I would like to buy a hamburger.

I would like to buy a hamburger.

I would like to buy a hamburger.

I would like to buy a hamburger.

I would like to buy a hamburger.

I would like to buy...

I would like to take a closer look at your bowls.

I would like to take a closer look...

I, too, am on a very important case, inspector.

I.

I'll be right with you, inspector.

I'll be right with you.

I'll get it right here.

I'll just turn you around.

I'll see you then.

I'm afraid some villain might threaten her.

I'm going to give him the good coplbad cop routine.

I'm going to help you.

I'm gonna ask you again, what's in your pocket, sir?

I'm married.

I'm not saying "damburger." I said, "I would like to buy a damburger."

I'm not supposed to be here, remember?

I'm not supposed to be here.

I'm simply telling you I have a couple of "tamburthers."

I'm sorry, but your name is not on the list.

I'm sorry. Once more.

I'm sure you can tell which are which.

I'm sure you're quite the raconteur.

I'm wondering if you saw, perhaps, a person yelling.

I'm Xania.

I've been assigned to work with you.

I've got an End darter down on six. I've got an End darter down on six!

I've got Bizu in the interrogation room.

I've heard things about you, inspector.

I've never seen that stuff in my life.

Idiot, pull up.

Idiot. Like this, I take one electrode...

If Gluant gave you the ring before he died...

If I came forward with the ring, everyone would think I did it.

If I don't speak Chinese, what are we doing here?

If I knew what she was hiding, then it wouldn't be hidden, would it?

If it were me, I would have killed him then and there.

If the weather continues...

If the weather stays this mild, we are all in for a treat.

If you see Clouseau, put him in cuffs for trespassing...

Impressive.

In just a few minutes down the hall...

In my bag.

In possession of the Pink Panther.

In the name of the statutes and laws of the great nation of France...

In the training facility locker room.

In this way, I will keep you vigilant and alert. Agreed?

Inspector Clouseau?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau, the man who came here from a small village...

Inspector Jacques Clouseau.

Inspector, do you know if the killer was a man or a woman?

Inspector, how does it feel to have let down the nation?

Inspector, it's awfully late and...

Inspector, the killer.

Inspector, was Clouseau's plan to set a trap for the Gas Mask Bandits?

Inspector, what made you think it was him?

Inspector?

Inspector?

Inspector? Are you sure you're okay in there?

Inspector.

Inspector.

Inspector.

Inspector.

Intermittently, and without warning, I will attack you...

Into that delicate situation.

Ironic.

Is an inspiration to us all.

Is Clouseau going to be promoted, sir?

Is going to be stripped of his rank while I take over his case.

Is going to change?

Is like a...

Is right back here.

Is that okay?"

Is that what you like to do? Is that funny?

Is this vase of great value?

It cost him his life.

It is "Inspector Dreyfus."

It is a worthless imitation.

It is important that we show compassion.

It is lovely weather we are having.

It is lovely weather we are having.

It is lovely weather we are having.

It is so degrading to have to point with your finger...

It is there! In her purse.

It may be too early to say for certain, but I think our killer is Chinese.

It might be a trap.

It seems you were right about Bizu. He was just found dead...

It was a perfect day for a murder.

It was an honor serving under you, sir.

It was because I thought you were the stupidest policeman in all of France.

It was falling apart, so I had it studded with diamonds...

It was late, past time anyone should be there.

It was quite the symbol of pride and victory for the French team.

It was simple, Ponton.

It's a disgusting American food.

It's a harmless pair of... Numchucks?

It's a harmless pocketknife.

It's a young woman...

It's all right, Roland. Hello, inspector.

It's an idiom.

It's evening...

It's hard.

It's irrelevant.

It's just a matter of time now, isn't it?

It's not "damburger." Hamburger.

It's sensitive! I hardly touched it! But it goes up...

It's the killer! After him!

It's true.

Jacques Clouseau, by the power vested in me...

Jimbo!

Just leave it.

Killer, I will find you...

Let me just slip away.

Let me see.

Let the games begin.

Let's call it a day. I am tired.

Let's just forget it.

Let's keep our fingers crossed...

Let's see what this baby can do!

Let's see. The positive to the negative.

Let's take him out for lunch. We will all speak Chinese.

Like a... Like... Like a... Like...

Like something... Something that you... You corner.

Like you are some sort of primitive oaf.

Look at him.

Look!

Love has not yet come my way.

Lovely.

Many stories.

May I be very frank with you?

May I help you?

Maybe there is a seam under your hairline.

Meet Dr. Li How Pang.

Might draw the wrong conclusion too.

Monet. Very impressive, Monsieur Larocque.

Monsieur Dumont, you must move your vehicle immediately.

Must have a knowledge of Chinese herbs.

My chair, it won't move.

My face!

My family's done police work in Paris for nine generations.

My God, man, that was fantastic.

My God. Leave us alone for a moment.

My guess is Larocque got fed up...

My leg, it crushed my leg!

My miracle pill for the middle aged man.

My only consolation was he'd lose the money gambling in my casino.

Needless to say...

Never mind.

Newspapers!

Newspapers!

Newspapers!

Nicole, I believe Bizu and Gluant were killed by the same person.

Nicole.

No one must know that I am here.

No, I don't consider myself a beautiful woman.

No, it's just that I have an ear for such things.

No, no, no. Let's break it down.

No, not really. Not since the Internet.

No! No, no! No, no!

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. Clouseau should not be on this list.

No. It is not a gift.

Not after what happened.

Not every death is a tragedy.

Not on the list?

Nothing to declare.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Now I am ready to catch a killer.

Now let's see who you are.

Now, a few hours before the murder...

Now, do you have any idea who might have done this terrible thing?

Now, Ponton, what do you have for me?

Now, unless you want to spend the rest of your life in prison...

Now, what do you have for me?

Now, what I do when I get a little heavy...

Now, you were nearby when Gluant was killed?

Now.

Of course I speak Chinese.

Of course I'll help you.

Of course you did.

Of course.

Of course.

Of working this... Oh, there's a remote control...

Of your rank, ridiculed by the media...

Officer Jacques Clouseau, gendarme, third class.

Oh, here, take my pen.

Oh, I think I know the perfect man for the job.

Oh, I'll just...

Oh, I'm just going over these crime scene photos.

Oh, it's on the other side, I'm sorry.

Oh, it's you.

Oh, it's you.

Oh, my God! The Gas Mask Bandits!

Oh, my God. The Heimlich! The Heimlich!

Oh, no.

Oh, please, go ahead.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, the restaurants were a disaster.

Oh, yeah. I heard it was in the locker room.

Oh, yes, baby. Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Here, just... Perhaps...

Okay, let's go. Next.

Okay.

On it:

One clue leading inexorably to the next.

One does not often see the traditional French fountain pen.

One should always handle an antique vase from the inside.

One.

One. And who would that be?

Or one of those long wooden sticks...

Or the right one.

Otherwise the oil from the hands can damage the patina.

Our men have reported a sighting of Inspector Clouseau.

Over here.

Pacquette, I want a dossier on every Chinaman in that box.

Pang is in France for the president's ball tonight.

Park it close by. Unless you want to know what else is good for you.

Perhaps a bit too formal for the afternoon.

Perhaps I saw that on TV.

Pierre Fuquet?

Pink diamond. Clear.

Please make yourself at home. Now, how can I help you?

Please, tell me what you saw.

Plus free minutes per month?

Ponton, go find security.

Ponton, go to your databases.

Ponton, I need you over here immediately.

Ponton, I think we owe those men an apology.

Ponton, I want to interrogate this man Raymond Larocque.

Ponton, we must get to the presidential palace immediately!

Ponton, you follow him that way. I'll go this way and cut him off.

Ponton! After him!

Ponton.

Ponton...

Ponton...

Press the button that says 'download."'

Presumably, Gluant was to invest these sums on Pang's behalf.

Priceless.

Pure alabaster.

Raymond Larocque, the casino owner.

Read that back.

Right now the killer is being surrounded by a web of deduction...

Say, 8:00?

Say, I don't know, my room on the second floor?

Second century. Very rare.

She can't hear a word. And in case you haven't noticed...

She was right, of course.

She would have to be so extraordinary in order to keep up.

Since you are only a detective, second class...

Sir?

Six witnesses saw you repeatedly striking the deceased and screaming...

So as not to arouse suspicion.

So Bizu blackmailed Yuri and got himself killed.

So close to you...

So find me the greatest accent coach in the world.

So I will call you for lunch.

So much for the heroic Inspector Clouseau.

So Pang had the motive.

So that you can just...

So the chief inspector had a larger one made.

So very useful.

So you are a little lamb who has come to Clouseau for to learn.

So you are Yuri the trainer who trains.

So you understand what I mean when I say...

So, what do you think?

Some here are real and some are copies.

Someone else did, and they are trying to set you up.

Something caught my eye:

Something caught my eye:

Sorry, Clouseau, no diamond.

Stay back here. Yes, of course.

Stays this mild.

Stop in the name of the law.

Stop the car. Dear...

Stop!

Stop!

Stop! Stop whatever it is you are doing! You are defenseless!

Stop! Stop, stop!

Strange.

Such as two way radios and e mail.

Tell me about her.

Tell them I want to converse with Mr. Raymond Larocque.

Than you have had up to this point.

Thank you, inspector.

Thank you, Nicole.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks.

That a man of your talent merits greater responsibility...

That breeze feels good.

That Gluant did not want to be killed.

That is a generous offer, Nicole...

That it stays this mild.

That makes me feel good.

That may be one of your mysterious clients now.

That must be funny around the water cooler.

That shot was made by an expert marksman.

That the body fell perfectly within the chalk outline on the floor?

That the killer could be watching you now?

That told me that you needed it.

That was fantastic.

That was given to me by the mayor of Paris.

That would be him.

That you really know how to treat a woman.

That's exactly what Bizu did.

That's good. Did you say that?

That's it! That's it!

That's my personalized cell phone tone ring.

That's odd. What I did, I went like this, and then...

That's something.

The area is secure.

The area is secure.

The area is still secure.

The button that says "download."

The case is closed.

The case is going quite well. I have prepared a list of suspects.

The case. The case, Clouseau.

The Chinese are from China.

The Chinese VIP box, right on the edge of the kill zone.

THE COACH WAS KILLED WITH CHINESE POISON.

The good coplbad cop routine is working perfectly.

The highest rank of any officer in the republic.

The inspector will see you now.

The insurance company won't pay unless the murderer is caught.

The Internet.

The intruder is obviously wearing a flesh mask.

The Medal of Honor.

The minister of justice sent around a new picture of himself...

The murderer does not have the diamond?

The negative to the positive. There.

The newspapers fed on Gluant's murder with a frenzy.

The night before he was killed.

The occipital lobe?

The occipital lobe.

The opportunity to solve the Pink Panther murder.

The Pink Panther diamond.

The poison is from China...

The poison was Chinese. Was Gluant ever in China?

The press conference.

The purse, please.

The team's assistant coach.

The two nominees are...

The weather has been so pleasant.

Then according to civil statute 812 914B, you are the rightful owner.

Then he asked me to marry him...

Then I was not promoted for my merits?

There is no place you can hide.