Big Momma's House Edit

A Dr Green in Los Angeles. A refill on the kid's allergy prescription.

A hundred's good.

A prison escape leaves one man dead.

A sweet, angelic voice say...

Ain't nothin' but some scaldin' pork grease.

Ain't that right, Trent?

All he got to do is this.

All of this for my birthday?

All right, Trent. Mind your manners. No back talk.

All right, well, get it together.

All right!

All right.

All right.

All right. Excuse me, darlin'.

All right. Now, first off...

All right. Now, what I'm saying is, shut your mouth on this one.

And able to walk down the street without trippin' over my own breasts,

And drove out the front gate in the man's Volvo. Very creative.

And even if I was interested, which I definitely am not,

And hit the phones.

And I can't wait to see you and I love you very much.

And I didn't say anything to anybody because I was afraid I'd lose my job.

And I just felt like nothing in the world could ever hurt me.

And I just want you to know

And I know it's a little tarnished, but it's gotten me through some pretty tough times.

And I know that you've probably heard some things that I'm not very proud of.

And I thought maybe I'd stop in and check on you since I haven't seen you in a while.

And I was headed in your direction,

And I'm about to cram it up his bony ass.

And I'm gonna make sure that I lock you up

And I'm not a little girl any more.

And lead with your shaboink boink!

And Lester shot those people.

And licked the pot clean.

And make sure you put the fatback in the greens.

And maybe one of our saints here

And polite conversation.

And remember that our business is our business.

And remember... Look at me.

And somebody scream out to you "Hey, baby!"

And started listening!

And that's based on what? Your "professional" attraction to her?

And the Lord took my dialing finger.

And the phone call was to set up your surprise party.

And the protrudeness...

And then... I'm just gonna go into town for a little bit.

And this is Miss Other Patterson.

And underneath it all, we do a lotta nasty shit.

And walked out with two million in cash and bearer bonds.

And what the hell's wrong with this door?

And when that day happens,

And who knows, Malcolm? Maybe you'll find an Armani outlet by the Piggly Wiggly.

And you were the one being dishonest.

And you would wrap your arms around me.

And your life takes you places that you never thought you'd go.

And, Big Momma, I just want you to know...

And, personally, I would consider it a privilege.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that

Anyway, we've all sinned.

Anyway... Trent, do you remember that day at the lake

Are you drinkin' that corn liquor? Are you sippin' on the yak?

Are you OK? Do you need a hand?

Are you puttin' on your make up in the dark now?

Are you ready to testify?

Are you saying you didn't know anything about the money?

As you can see.

Ask for understanding.

Back at ya! Didn't know it was comin'. Let's do this.

Back up off me.

Be patient.

Be sure to send me an invitation to the baby shower.

Because the truth

Ben, I swear, if I see your shaboinker, all hell's gonna break loose.

Ben, if you wanna get with me...

Ben, whatever you started in that bed,

Ben, you gotta bring a woman somethin' special.

Big balls, huh? Big cojones, huh?

Big Momma asked me to come by and fix...

Big Momma don't know nothin' about no drugs.

Big Momma gonna be in the kitchen... bakin' up a storm.

Big Momma, do you have any soda water?

Big Momma, do you remember this?

Big Momma, here!

Big Momma, I just wanna make sure that if I ever have to go away for a long time

Big Momma, I should have known I could trust you. Thank you so much.

Big Momma, I should have said something.

Big Momma, I think you just had a Peeping Tom.

Big Momma, I'm so sorry,

Big Momma, is that duct tape on your face?

Big Momma, someone's here to see you. They say it's an emergency.

Big Momma, stay and talk to your friend. I'll talk to you later. OK?

Big Momma, we're not frying a chicken!

Big Momma, what are you doing?

Big Momma, what is going on?

Big Momma, what you doin' now?

Big Momma, where did you get that from?

Big Momma, who was it?

Big Momma, work it out!

Big Momma, you were amazing.

Big Momma, you're there!

Big Momma!

Big Momma?

Big Momma?

Big Momma?

Big Momma?

Big Momma?

Big Momma? Are you OK?

Big Momma? It's Sherry.

Big Momma? We're here.

Big Momma'll be here.

Big Momma's here, darlin'. Don't worry.

Big... Big Momma?

Bless your little asthmatic heart.

Blood is thicker than water.

Boy, you ain't right. Did somebody hook you up to a jumper cable?

Boy, you ain't right. Did somebody hook you up to a jumper cable?

Boy, you better get that thing outta my face. Move, Rev! Go now.

But damn that was a lotta ass.

But he'll come to find Big Momma pretty quick herself.

But I gotta go. I gotta get outta here.

But I gotta tell you... This gettin' shot part, it's not as much fun as you'd think.

But I just got...

But I'm a handyman. Yeah, handyman's my thing.

But if it's someone important, you gotta put yourself into it.

But it looks like you're not home, so I'll see you on the next trip.

But it's a girl. You gotta pick a girl name.

But that's neither here nor there. OK, please, disregard that last one.

But these hands is open for business.

But what I feel about you...

But where's an' ever you be,

But you gotta get her to confess everything,

But you know what? A lot of people have these eyes. These ain't even mine.

Can I at least say goodbye to my grandmother?

Can Malcolm come with us?

Can't get enough of your love, baby.

Child, that's only make up.

Child, when you get to be my age, they're like yard dogs.

Child, you like these?

Church. We're leaving in five minutes.

Come on, Gertrude. This is good for you.

Come on, little man. We gonna take you to school.

Come on, Sherry. Come on in.

Come on, why don't you give it to me? Give it up before you hurt somebody, OK?

Come on. You's a OG, aren't you?

Comin' up here, tryin' to put your nasty ass lips on me. I am not street booty.

Consider your night capped.

Cos this sho' is some freaky shit.

Could offer us a word from above.

Could you open the cage? I'm a married man. I'm not used to this much attention.

Cries on the stand and walks away with two million large.

Damn, you fine...

Damn! That's a baby.

Damn! Y'all cut Big Momma up into little pieces.

Damn.

Did somethin' happen while you were down at basketball?

Doesn't this feel so good?

Don't tell me your momma had more jewellery.

Don't turn over on me! Oh, Lord!

Don't worry.

Don't you hit her.

Don't you think you're being a little rough on the ladies?

Driver, if I give you $20, would you step outside and kick his ass for me?

Earlier this week, I went to my phone

Easy.

Emergency? What kind of emergency?

Erskine and Stoner probably caught that girl Sherry two days ago.

Everybody's all dressed up and looking good.

Everything's gonna be OK. All right?

Exactly. But we never proved it.

Excuse me.

Explain it to the fat end of my baseball bat.

Far away from here. And I'm not sure if I'm goin' back.

FBl.

FBl.

Fine.

For God's sake.

For she has been to sorrow's kitchen

Freeze!

Game point.

Genteel old lady, pruning her roses.

Get him a Smiley Meal.

Get him a Smiley Meal.

Get him, Hattie Mae!

Get to know him.

Get up. Come on.

Gimme my baby.

Girl, come on up here and get your man.

Give me the camera.

Give me this plunger.

Go inside, sweetie. OK?

Go on, leave me a little message. As soon as I get back, I'll give you a shout. God bless.

Go on. Stand right there.

Go, Big Momma!

God.

Good Lord! What in the hell is goin' on up in there?

Good night, Big Momma.

Good night. Nice to meet you.

Good. See? It works.

Got two words, too: I'm back.

Got your seat belt on?

Grab your medicine.

Grab your medicine.

Greens give you gas somethin' wicked.

Guess not.

Hallelujah!

Hang up.

Happy birthday.

Has escaped from a federal penitentiary.

Hattie Mae, I can explain.

Hattie, are you done with him?

Hattie, I need to do this before I lose my nerve.

Hattie, I'm tired of bein' alone.

Hattie!

Have mercy, Lord.

He don't know what to do with it.

He is seen here on security cameras robbing the Century Union Bank.

He loves it out here.

He must have hid the money in Trent's locker before they arrested him.

He stole my keys. He got into the vault. He shot two people.

He was the gardener.

He was wonderin' how long you were gonna be in town.

He'd like his own gun, and he wants to know if we can use secret code names.

He's fine.

Head security guard. I got two men and three dogs workin' up under me.

Hell, no!

Hello. This is Hattie Mae Pierce.

Hello. This is Hattie Mae Pierce.

Hello. This is Hattie Mae Pierce.

Her water broke comin' back from the movie. The baby's due any minute.

Here we go on our way to the store.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here?

Hey, officer. I'm lookin' for... Miss Hattie Mae Pierce's house.

Hey, what do we have here?

Hey. This yours.

Hi, Ben. How you doin'?

Hi, Trent.

Hi!

Hi.

Hold my hand! Hold my hand!

Hold on a minute. You losin' weight?

Hold still. Gotcha!

Hold your breath.

Hold your hoe. Gotta go.

Holy shit.

Honey, careful.

How about I hop in there and we go for a spin?

How about we take a little walk down to the park?

How did you know his name?

How do I look?

How do you feel, Malcolm? Nervous about your testimony?

How so?

How was basketball?

How's he doin'?

Hurry up, man. She's leaving.

I appreciate it.

I believe the Good Book says "lf you don't know me, don’t judge me."

I borrowed 'em from a friend, and I gotta have 'em back by dusk.

I can do a hundred.

I can't breathe.

I can't feel my knees. Oh, Big Momma!

I caught him spreadin' fertilizer in the bedroom, if you know what I mean.

I could show you where all the hot spots are.

I didn't go to electrical college, if that's what you mean.

I do all kind of fishing.

I don't care what she said. That gun'll cost you two.

I don't know.

I don't know. They're really familiar.

I don't think Big Momma likes surprise parties.

I don't think you need those, Big Momma.

I don't want you to leave. Please, don't leave.

I done seen a lot of scary shit in my day,

I find that it calms the spirit.

I forgot my keys.

I got a size ten,

I got my eye on you two.

I got Nolan watching the perimeter.

I gotta go and help my friend out for a couple of weeks.

I guess you're wonderin' what I got you for your birthday.

I guess you're wonderin' why I got the duct tape.

I hate stains because they's hard to get out, and that's a jammy jam stain. I know.

I heard

I hope I didn’t put too much seasoning salt.

I jog. Yes! Come on!

I just haven't caught anything worth holding onto.

I just want to give you somethin',

I knew it. I told you this senile old hag was gettin' too old to be doin' this.

I know I got some explainin' to do.

I know it’s been a long time since we've talked, but...

I know things haven't been so great between us these past couple of years,

I know what kind of man Lester is.

I know what you're up to.

I know you think you can recognize my eyes.

I mean it hush. Don't say nothin'. Nada.

I mean... you will never get with me! Understand?

I paid way too much for this new wig to mess it up here.

I really do love you and miss you very much.

I really wasn't expectin' this, Reverend.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

I remember when I was a little girl and it used to storm like this

I said "Sherry, are you all right?" You said...

I said I don't know. And anyway, Momma said we shouldn't tell our business.

I say, I wonder who could be at my door so late at night.

I see you're a man of great taste. Need anything else?

I should've bought you somethin'. Like a corsage.

I think I need a splint or somethin'.

I think you were gonna ask for another volunteer.

I thought you might have been in trouble.

I used to be married, but not any more.

I used to take a little karate myself.

I wanna freshen up and get out of my traveling clothes.

I was hoping we could sit in the front porch and shuck corn, shoot squirrels...

I was just doin' my job.

I will not be treated like street poontang!

I wonder what would make him think that.

I wonder who this could be,

I'd love to show him. Don't worry. I won't hurt him.

I'll be there. I'm prepared. I can stay a week or two weeks...

I'll come back and check on you in a while just to make sure you haven't killed yourself.

I'll search the house while you're gone.

I'm a fellow law enforcement officer myself. You know, maybe I can help.

I'm an electrician. You know?

I'm beggin' you to trust me. I mean... you can trust your Big Momma, can't you?

I'm doin' good.

I'm dropping Trent off to play basketball.

I'm glad it felt like a home to you, Sherry.

I'm gonna call Malcolm. He'll help us fix everything. No worries.

I'm in the zone.

I'm just here to catch a bad guy. If it goes down hard, so be it.

I'm just sayin', on the street I can't have no distractions. I gotta be ready for anything.

I'm just takin' a bath with Old Yeller down here.

I'm Malcolm. Hi. How are you?

I'm Miss Patterson

I'm not crazy, just a little lonely. We could spend some quality time together.

I'm sorry.

I've been waitin' on this moment ever since I first laid eyes on you.

I've come here today to

I've lusted in my heart.

If anybody asks, tell them it's your new hearing aid.

If Big Momma's not here, she'll leave, and then we have no case.

If I were an 85 year old man with cataracts and a bad hip,

If it was a boy, they could have named it, like... Requan or Trevon.

If we could get in to plant the surveillance equipment, we wouldn't be stuck here.

If you can do that, we might find a place for you on the force.

If you don't put 'em on a leash, they'll just roam all over the neighborhood.

If you don't want it, you don't have to...

If you want a second helping, let me know.

In my living room.

In the hot tub at the Red Roof Inn.

Is everything all right?

Is that all you got?

Is that it? That's the big mistake you made, Sherry?

Is that morphine in there? God, it beats the hell out of aspirin.

Is that right?

Is there another flashlight under there?

It feels so damn good.

It goes down easier that way.

It just went bad, didn't it?

It might make it a little awkward when it's time to arrest her, but...

It should be a biblical name, right?

It smells good, Big Momma.

It was my mother's. It's been on my dresser for 30 years.

It's a girl!

It's a great place to grow up. You should know that.

It's a surprise party for you, and if you go in there now you'll ruin it.

It's good when you got the runs. Come on, me and you around the block.

It's my baby Sherry!

It's not like... I don’t know what I'm doin'.

It's so good to see you, Big Momma.

It's so good to see you, Big Momma.

It's so loud in here. Maybe you'd be more comfortable over at my house.

It's...

Jesus did say that.

Jesus, let me just make it to the bathroom before I lose my bowels all over myself.

Jesus!

Jesus.

John, if you was thinkin' straight,

John, my attraction to her is strictly professional.

Just a second!

Just keep her away from Malcolm until we figure out a way to sneak her out of here.

Just sittin' in my little apartment doin' nothin' when it could have been out seein' the world.

Just stall, and then get out of the way when they get there. OK?

Just... I'll be all right.

Keep trying, sweetie.

Keep your eyes open. I'm goin' upstairs to change for the party.

Laptop? Cameras? AK 47? Stereos?

Last time I had Ben over for greens, I had to re wallpaper.

Lena, I need towels. Lots of towels.

Lester stole the keys. Lester stole the money.

Lester Vesco, serving a life sentence for murder,

Lester Vesco. Not a nice man, people.

Let me catch you here again and I'll barbecue some hot dog!

Let me go get my nine, OK? Oh, no. I'll keep that...

Let me help you with that, little Trent. Let me see that.

Let me show you what I got. Which way I'm comin'?

Let me tell you...

Let's close these, OK? You don't want your business wavin' all in the air.

Let's eat.

Let's hope. This is your basic hostile jury. Good luck.

Let's say

Let's see what's in there to cook now.

Let's see.

Like the bank work. I'm all over it!

Listen, either I can go around you, or I can go through you. Whichever you decide.

Listen, I got some dress up clothes, too. I wanna put mine on.

Listen, I was taking a little vacation

Listen. Hattie, listen to me.

Live secret lives.

Look at her.

Look at that nappy little g****fruit head.

Look at ya now. Runnin' your mouth.

Look at you. Just fly your...

Look at your pole!

Look, I took CPR. Can't be too much harder than that.

Look, that was fake.

Look, you old bat, this is a federal...

Look. OK, if you really must know,

Looks like we'll have to arrest this guy now.

Lord knows I was addicted to that man for about ten years.

Lord knows I've sinned.

Lord, I done told Sadie about this dog.

Lord!

Ma. Asthma.

Malcolm, I don't know how to tell you this... but your face is falling off!

Malcolm, you ever gone fishing?

Malcolm!

Malcolm.

Malcolm's been askin' about you.

Matter of fact, let's all scream.

Maybe I have. But somethin's goin' on.

Maybe I only wanted to believe the best about you.

Maybe I should come in for a little nightcap.

Maybe it's time that I stopped preaching

Maybe not.

Maybe somethin' you said?

Maybe we're all related.

Maybe you're in a dark alley.

Maybe you're standin' on your sun porch smokin' a pack of Virginia Slims.

Maybe you're using the wrong bait.

Maybe you're walkin' home from a church social.

Me? Look at you, Big Momma! I hardly recognize you.

Middle of the night seems a funny time to go on vacation.

Miss it. Miss it.

Mom doesn't know what she's doin'.

Mom says Jesus said we should love one another as we love ourselves.

Mom, look. It's ghost stories.

Mom! I can't catch anything.

Most attackers seek out people who look like they can't defend themselves.

Most people aren't who they say they are.

Must be one of those Southern traditions. Exchanging baked goods in the street.

Nah, you bring them over. That's how you meet the new neighbors.

Nervous? No.

Never convicted. Worked in the bank.

No doubt. Are you all right?

No worries. I'll fix it.

No, Big Momma, we have to go now. And I just wanted to say thank you for everything.

No, Big Momma. Why do you ask?

No, don't worry about that. You look fine.

No, I'm cool.

No, I'm not that old, Sherry. I don't need no help.

No, I'm telling you, you cannot go in there without giving me a big

No, Malcolm, I loved the little Jerry Maguire moment with the kid. That was very touching.

No, no, I've got something special planned for you two.

No, no, no!

No, no.

No, see, I knew it. Don't nobody mess with my babies.

No, Trent. That's an old lyric from AI Green. I got it in the car.

No, you can't! Ladies, it was really a pleasure.

No!

No.

No. Actually, I was in the neighborhood, so I was just stopping by.

No. Actually, Jesus, I think, is how he pronounces it.

Nobody's tried to kill you for days. The stress must be overwhelming.

Nolan is a security guard at the lumberyard.

Not affect your work. Fine.

Not in Big Momma's house!

Nothin' like a little excitement to get the blood goin'.

Nothin' to it.

Nothing.

Nothing's wrong.

Nothing's wrong.

Now come on over here and give your Big Momma a great big hug.

Now it looks like she's in the wind.

Now listen, Nolan. This is top secret. We're after a hardened criminal.

Now where's that cake?

Now wobble wobble, and drop it like it's hot.

Now, Ben, you know you can't eat no greens.

Now, I've gone undercover as Big Momma.

Now, Sherry,

Now, where were we?

Of course I did. I knew that the keys were missing,

Of drugs?"

Oh, and in the back of an EI Camino!

Oh, and that seersucker suit?

Oh, Big Momma, that's such a long story.

Oh, damn. Big Momma gettin' light headed.

Oh, dear! The duct tape.

Oh, excuse me, child.

Oh, Hattie baby...

Oh, I'm sorry. Ben Rawley's the name.

Oh, Jesus!

Oh, Lord!

Oh, Lord. Is she with Jesus?

Oh, Lord. William's in the hospital again?

Oh, Malcolm. Didn't recognize you with the make up off. Got the Michaels file?

Oh, man!

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

Oh, me? I'm sorry.

Oh, my damn!

Oh, my damn.

Oh, my God. He's gonna kill her. This guy can't even make toast.

Oh, my God. It's Lester.

Oh, my word!

Oh, no, Big Momma. This...

Oh, no! Don't!

Oh, no. Sure, I can handle him.

Oh, really?

Oh, Sherry!

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit.

Oh, shoot!

Oh, shut up and give the man your dry old Bundt cake so I can go home.

Oh, thank you, child.

Oh, that.

Oh, that's just a Bible salesman.

Oh, yeah. Child, if I was 40 years younger

Oh, yeah. I fish in the neighborhood all the time. Yeah, I know a thing or two.

Oh, yeah. I used WD 40 and some Easy Off on it.

Oh, yeah. I was just coming to check you were OK with...

Oh, yeah. Trent!

Oh! You think me and the white... No, I don't get down like that.

Oh. That's great. Thank you for stoppin' by.

OK, I'm gonna go inside now.

OK, it just got serious.

OK, ladies...

OK, maybe she got to me. But believe me, this will not affect my work on this case.

OK, now. Nolan, get your chunky ass in gear and find me some hot water.

OK, you're doin' good.

OK. Let's go with some real life situations.

OK. We've got a live one, people. Conference room in five.

OK. Well, good. I'll go with you. I need to do some shopping anyway.

OK. You got it.

On the street, I gotta keep it simple.

One for me...

Or else, when we catch Lester, she's gonna go down with him.

Our secrets...

Over here.

Pickin' on a little man. I'm at ya.

Plenty of fun people. Let's dance over and meet some, shall we? Come on.

Praise the Lord.

Preferably Crisco.

Probably you'd get the F, but you won't get the BI until some years have gone by.

Pull it.

Put that thing down.

Ready?

Ready.

Really?

Remember you had asthma?

Reverend, I've come to testify.

Right in the Bureau.

Ritha, it look like Leroy.

Ritha's gonna have her baby.

Rolex?

Satellite TV and a six pack do not a full life make.

Say, you know what I do when I have an upset stomach?

See, Sherry, I like to make sure

See, you only got a second

Shall set you free.

Shaniqua.

She didn't happen to say anything about meetin' up with an old friend?

She gonna die when she sees me.

She's done nothing to try and contact Lester.

She's leavin', man. Now's our chance to tap the phones. Come on.

She's pretty smart. Keeps a low profile, works two shit jobs.

She's somethin' else.

Sherry ain't never gonna tell her grandmother about Lester.

Sherry made a call today. Who was it?

Sherry, I'm not on your gearshift, am l?

Sherry, if you gonna be in town for a while, you oughta spend some time with that boy.

Sherry, is that you?

Sherry, is there anything you wanna say to Big Momma?

Sherry, listen to me.

Sherry, say good night to Mr. Rawley.

Sherry, the make up...

Sherry, why are you still sittin' there?

Sherry, you changed.

Sherry, you know that old boyfriend you had, who got in trouble?

Sherry, your last boyfriend...

Sherry!

Sherry?

Sherry?

Sherry.

Sherry... Now you gonna have to tell me what's goin' on.

Sherry's got a long lost grandmother in Cartersville, Georgia.

Shit!

Shit!

Shit.

Shit.

Shoot, when I was a little girl, you'd whup my butt if I even looked guilty.

Should I talk about the evils

Show me a little bit of your moves.

Sit back, watch and learn.

Sit down and shut up, you old fool.

So much else to do that you forget about people.

So she gives him access to the vault,

So the lake and everything, that was just you doin' your job, right?

So we find her, we find Lester, we find the money.

So you don't get away from me ever again.

So, anyway, what I'm here to say is

So, if we want to be protected hear me now

Some true words through this brother here.

Somebody attack you on the street, you think they gonna do it delicately? I don't think so.

Somethin' like that.

Somethin' that means it's from your heart.

Sometimes Big Momma just feel like kissin' folks, that's all.

Sometimes I just get so caught up in my work that I forget things and...

Sometimes, when you wanna catch somethin',

Sorry about that. I didn't think it made much sense to defend myself delicately.

Southern welcome.

Stall 'em.

Superfly!

Sure. I don't see why not.

Surprise, Big Momma.

Surprise!

Surprise.

Surprised, huh?

Surprisin' me this time of evening.

Take it easy, Hattie.

Take it easy. I've called the paramedics.

Tell me what brings you to Big Momma's house after all these years.

Ten thousand.

Thank you, Big Momma.

Thank you! Get off the court, suckers.

Thanks, Malcolm.

That big bag she took downtown the other day.

That face and those eyes. You've changed.

That my food is properly lubricated.

That scared me.

That some of us

That some stuff we should just keep to ourselves.

That was a little fast. Let me do it again.

That what that is?

That your place is the only place that's ever really felt like home for me.

That.

That's a baby.

That's all right, child. I get them all the time.

That's all, people.

That's called an assist.

That's funny. I couldn't be out there without it.

That's good.

That's it. A little sugar on it.

That's just my flashlight.

That's real.

That's right. It was Hattie Mae Pierce.

That's what I do... catch the lightnin' bug.

The hotel out by the freeway had a pool.

The man ain't been here for two days and you all over him.

The pork chops are on fire.

The storm knocked out all the power and... I had to get a big old flashlight.

Then I guess this chain isn't the only thing that came back to me tarnished.

Then they might come to you.

Then you don't have much time.

There we go.

There you are! I've been looking all over for you.

There's my sugar.

They eat away at us.

They just goin' right straight through me.

They just wanted us to sit here pickin' ticks off our asses.

They kicked me off the court.

They use Crisco for everything here.

They're here. Now here's the earpiece.

Think it's gonna be windy today. There's a draught.

Think you can throw me off my shit?

This ain't no damn prom.

This ass here could do some serious damage.

This looks great.

This looks great.

This morning we're having church!

This morning, we're havin' church!

This won't be the first time I've testified.

Those stewed prunes!

To turn fear and panic into power!

Tough times? Sounds like a man's involved.

Trent wanted waffles. Have a seat.

Trent, me and you haven't had much time to just sit down and talk.

Trent, you know I'm your Big Momma, right?

Trent?

Trent?

Trent? Sweetie?

Trent? What are you lookin' for?

Trent.

Trussy! How ya do...

Trust me, you gonna finish alone.

Tupac. All right.

Turkey necks...

Twelve hours ago, he killed a prison doctor

Two hundred, or this transaction goes real bad, real quick.

Two years ago, he robbed a bank, popped a guard and the bank manager

Unless y'all talkin' about Harry Belafonte.

Wait a minute.

Wait a second. Maybe we should take you upstairs.

Wait!

Wait. You can't leave.

Watch it. The plate's hot now.

Watch out there, now.

Watch out!

We are not havin' service this morning.

We call her that because she's from a whole different set of Pattersons.

We could always run down to Ring A Ding Burger.

We don't want people to know the real us.

We got a baby about to slide into the world.

We got him, but the money was never recovered.

We got some pork chops,

We got to confess everything.

We hide behind our smiles

We own that ball.

We won!

We won! Oh yes, baby!

We're goin' fishin'. Mom's gonna let me drive the boat.

Welcome to Maple Drive. We hope you will come to love...

Well, all right.

Well, could you warn me next time?

Well, get ready to sit down, cos you ain't gonna last long once we start.

Well, I asked him. I said "Lord,

Well, I think that only works with fireflies.

Well, I'd say...

Well, I'm probably not gonna eat them, but you can have mine. All right, Sherry?

Well, I'm...

Well, if that’s my party, looks like I'm missin' it.

Well, it got your hind parts in shape, didn't it?

Well, it's been a long time since we've talked,

Well, let's see.

Well, may the angels speed your path on up here, Big Momma.

Well, she will. And when she does,

Well, sugar, it workin'. You understand me?

Well, then, eat up. Take you a big old forkful.

Well, then, maybe that's how you got this way in the first place!

Well, Trent, what does it say?

Well, we were just on a little vacation.

Well, you learned your lesson.

Well, you look ready to me.

Well, you look ready to me.

Well... Maybe I didn't wanna believe those things.

What a beautiful surprise.

What a day. What a damn day.

What about that big bag you had the other day, Sherry?

What about the phone call you made in town?

What are you doin' over there?