Knock Knock Edit

A game? A game?

A husband, a father of two,

About what?

Actually, I'm feeling much better.

Actually, um...

Actually, we're flight attendants.

Actually, would you mind if we just used your computer for a sec?

Actually... Karen should have told you,

After the mess they made at the gallery.

Ah, genius.

Ahhh!

All it needs is you.

All our contacts are on our phones.

All right, I'm coming in,

All right, Monkey.

All the way from one percent land,

All you have to do is answer the question, Evan.

An architect and an artist.

An insane collection.

And filthy.

And I pretended to be asleep.

And I was trying to navigate, but there was repair trucks.

And I'm not planning on taking a shower.

And it'll be here in...

And now we have to play a game with someone else.

And pasta.

And she's so hot.

And that's just for one of us.

And that's why Evan's out.

And the star of Family Feud, Richard Dawson!

And then we're gonna go see Monkey, okay?

And while we were having sex

And you just fucking fucked me!

And you never get to see your family again?

And you snuck into my room?

And you won't believe this, but if you put it in rice

And you wouldn't do the same?

And your business ruined

And...

Are you ashamed of us? Or are you fucking her, too?

Are you here, monster?

Are you hungry now?

Are you okay? Oh, fuck!

Are you ready!

Are you religious?

Argh!

Arghh!

Arghh!

Ashley's online.

Assuming they got the color right this time.

At 1:30 in the morning.

Attaboy, Evan. Fuck her!

Baby, I get it. Don't stress.

Because I know that's the only way he'll never cheat on me.

Because I wanted you all to myself.

Because then this'll help.

Bel, Bel, untie me, please?

Bel, Genesis! Call an ambulance, for fuck's sake!

Bel, I'll do whatever you want.

Bel, please help him!

Bel, stop!

Bel!

Bel!

Bel! Stop, please!

Bel?

Bel?

Bel.

Belly! Belly! Catch! Catch!

Bitch, you're barking up the wrong fucking tree.

Bless you.

But could we maybe throw our clothes in your dryer just for, like, 10 minutes?

But could you please tell us where the Gregorys live?

But first,

But if Daddy doesn't work this weekend, we'll have to live in a box.

But now he's okay.

But really, I can't. Please, get dressed.

But she's having a big gallery show in LA.

But that storm blew branches out all over town.

But the lifeline is a phone call.

But this is really... This is upsetting!

But when you took off my clothes,

But you know what? It's your life.

But you made me feel 15 again. Thanks, Evan.

But you were keeping secrets from us, Evan.

But you'd look so hot with short hair.

But, uh, I love the sound of vinyl.

By that name.

Bye, Daddy.

Bye, Evan! Muah! We'll miss you!

Bye, Evan.

Bye, guys.

Bye, Monkey.

Bye, Monkey.

Bye!

Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!

Call 911!

Call 911!

Call an ambulance, I promise I won't say anything!

Call me when you get there.

Can a cock answer an iPhone?

Can you give us a ride?

Can you put it on?

Castration?

Cause you're gonna go deaf in about 10 seconds from now.

Cheating "Evan tually" gets you killed.

Chilean, actually.

Close the door. Close the door.

Come in.

Come on in.

Come on, any guy that ripped

Come on, Belly. Looks like Evan lost his sense of humor.

Come on, Evan.

Come on, just one day.

Come on, where is it, Daddy?

Come on.

Come on. Playtime's over.

Come on...

Come to think of it, Evan doesn't even have any fucking nieces.

Cool car, Evan.

Cool.

Correct answer is death.

Correct!

Dad, are you sure you can't come to the beach with us?

Dad, why can't we take Monkey to the beach with us?

Daddies.

Daddy had a party.

Daddy, don't forget to send all your party pix on Instagram.

Daddy!

Daddy?

Daddy?

Damn right it didn't, Evan!

Death?

Death?

Did I say something funny?

Did you forget what you did to me all those years?

Did you pack your gun?

Digging a grave is fucking tiring.

Disappear or you're fucking dead.

Discover.

DJ'ing is like mixing a drink.

Do not move!

Do what you have to do.

Do you believe in destiny, Evan?

Do you guys want to live in a box?

Do you know what this is?

Do you really love them, Evan?

Do you want to check my ID?

Do you, baby?

Doggy style, Belly!

Doggy style, Belly!

Don't be mad, Evan.

Don't do this. Please?

Don't fucking move!

Don't let me get cold.

Don't let your breakky get cold.

Don't move, Evan. You might get dirt in your eyes.

Don't smoke all our weed.

Don't worry about anything,

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it. I'll call an Uber.

Don't you want to come in and meet my mom?

Don't you want to fuck your little girl again?

Don't you, Evan?

Don't!

Drinks are on the house and they pay you for it.

English, English. You guys sound too sexy.

Enjoy yourself. I'm out.

Enjoy!

Especially when you're only there for 24 hours.

Evan, can you hold me?

Evan, I have something to confess.

Evan, I'm so sorry I'm late,

Evan, this should be easy for you.

Evan!

Evan!

Evan!

Evan! Stop!

Evan?

Evan?

Evan?

Evan?

Evan.

Evan. Look at us.

Even calling your family and telling them everything you did to us?

Everywhere.

Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me where Evan is?

Excuse me.

FaceTime. Karen!

FaceTime. Karen.

Father's Day party that me and your dad are gonna have tonight.

Fifteen gets you 20, right?

Fifteen to 20 years?

First you find the right ingredients,

For a moment, I thought you were the one who'd say no.

For tonight's contestant,

Four.

Fourteen years, nope.

Fuck her like it was last night.

Fuck her.

Fuck me like you fuck Mommy!

Fuck me like you fuck Mommy!

Fuck me like you fuck your little daughter!

Fuck me, Daddy!

Fuck me, Daddy!

Fuck me, Daddy!

Fuck me, Daddy!

Fuck me! Fuck me!

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Fuck!

Fucker!

Fucking bitches!

Fucking douche bag.

Fucking whores!

Genesis, please don't point that at me.

Genesis, please, this is crazy, untie me!

Genesis, please, this isn't the answer!

Genesis! Please, this isn't his fault! Please call an ambulance, help him!

Get a haircut, Dad!

Get back inside.

Get dressed!

Get dressed.

Get dressed. Now.

Get out!

Get that sheet, cover him up.

Get the fuck away from me!

Get the fuck off me! Leave me alone!

Get up! And get dressed!

Girls?

Give it to him!

Go ahead, talk.

Go get the chainsaw, man!

Go home, Monkey.

Go!

Go!

Go.

God damn it! Fuck!

God, God!

God! God!

God! I can't hear! I can't hear!

Good night.

Good.

Gracias, Louis.

Gracias.

Great. Great. Great.

Guys, I have your clothes, they're pretty much dry.

Guys, the car's outside.

Guys!

Had you gotten to this before us

Hang on, I'll get you an iPad and some towels.

Happily. Okay?

Happy Father's Day, Daddy!

Happy Father's Day!

Have you ever had two girls do this to you before?

Haven't you ever made a mistake?

He can make anything disappear.

He doesn't want your massage.

He kicks, I shoot.

He knows that.

He won't.

He's back at the beach.

He's gone. Get the fuck up.

He's my Daddy.

He's not only an architect but also a DJ,

He's so hairy.

Hello, Ms. Bel.

Hello!

Hello?

Hello. It's me, Louis!

Help me!

Help me! Help me!

Help!

Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help! Help!

Help! Help! Help!

Help! Please help me! Somebody help me!

Help! Please somebody, help!

Hence, starfish.

Here we come.

Here.

Here.

Hey, baby.

Hey, baby.

Hey, Evan?

Hey, guys, hot off the presses.

Hey, it's our little secret.

Hey, Louis!

Hey, you're alive.

Hi, this is Karen Alvarado,

Hi! Hello.

Hi! It's perfect.

Hold still.

Honey, it's perfect.

Honey. I'm sorry for what I'm gonna tell you.

Hope you don't mind.

How about covered in her lipstick?

How can you judge anyone?

How can you keep this here with kids?

How did you know that would mix?

How do you know about that?

How far away from school

How is that even possible?

How long have you and your wife been together?

How many family men have survived this game?

How much!

How the fuck do you know that!

How's the house?

Hugs!

Huh?

Huh? You like what you see?

Humans are the only species that practice monogamy.

I actually studied art history.

I am, I am.

I can drive out there.

I can try and fix it.

I can't do this. I'm married.

I cannot keep everybody happy all the time.

I cannot wait to see her exhibition.

I caught him doing crunches in the mirror.

I could go deaf!

I couldn't pretend any longer.

I did see Evan in here earlier,

I didn't think you had it in you.

I do air boxing.

I don't appreciate your tone of voice.

I don't know any of these.

I don't know, she's not my friend.

I don't know.

I don't need her therapy anymore, it's healing.

I don't own a gun, I don't shoot people.

I don't own a gun.

I don't think he can talk.

I don't think people just meet randomly.

I don't think we'd be having this conversation.

I don't want him to kick me.

I forgot how strong Vanessa's weed was.

I freaked out when I turned 18.

I got it all under control. You have a good weekend at the beach.

I got it.

I got you a car, I brought you your clothes,

I have a lot of work to do this weekend.

I have evidence.

I have in Sonoma with those massage therapists.

I haven't been home in like four years.

I honestly don't know.

I hope you're not angry at me anymore, Daddy.

I hung up as soon as it hit voice mail. I knew you'd pussy out.

I just have a funny story for them.

I just woke up.

I know I can take the both of you.

I know two ghetto ass hos when I see 'em!

I know whenever I get married,

I know,

I let you in,

I like building up the anticipation.

I love Karen. I love her so much, how is she?

I love my children. I love my wife.

I love the lifeline part. Let's see.

I love these colors.

I love this album. You have good taste.

I love this color! Red's my favorite!

I love this one.

I love you so much.

I love you, Daddy.

I love you. I can't help it.

I made a mistake.

I made you some tea.

I mean, "tonight" for the super secret party.

I mean, are you... Are you in school or something?

I mean, his English was worse than mine.

I mean, man in the middle.

I mean, we're animals. We're more animals than animals.

I mean, who'd want to fuck that?

I mean...

I must say

I once got offered a tour when I was a DJ.

I only did that to Mommy

I promise we'll finish this as soon as I get back.

I remember I fucked this model once,

I said knock knock.

I see you've met Monkey.

I sure as hell don't bend the rules for my own convenience.

I swear, I swear I was sitting there for 15 minutes

I think it is 20.

I think it should be bigger.

I think it's a little late for an ambulance, Evan.

I think that if we are here, together,

I think they did.

I thought you guys left.

I thought you were, like, 28 or 30 at the most.

I told Vivian tomorrow at 2:00.

I told you he'd believe it.

I told you that he was going the wrong way.

I trusted you both, how could you fuck my wife?

I understand men.

I wanna play hide and seek.

I want cake for breakfast.

I want to go to Paris, Evan.

I want to see it.

I was 29 and she was 20.

I was a good guy, I'm a good father!

I wasn't flirting, I was being a gentleman.

I went to SVA.

I will. I love you.

I won't. I promise.

I would love nothing more, sport.

I would.

I wouldn't waste my last few hours crying about it.

I... I don't even know my own number, can you believe it?

I'd like to report a break in.

I'd offer you a hand, but all I can lift is this coffee.

I'd take somebody that's older and more experienced over an Abercrombie model any day.

I'll be outside!

I'll do whatever you want. I'll do whatever you want.

I'll drive you wherever you want.

I'll fucking kill you, you fucking fuck bitch cunt!

I'll fucking kill you! You fucking bitches!

I'll get your clothes.

I'll give you a relaxation massage,

I'll go deaf! I'll go deaf!

I'll go get Genesis.

I'll go get you some.

I'll tell them.

I'll, uh...

I'm 43.

I'm a good father!

I'm a good father.

I'm a good person.

I'm an architect.

I'm Bel, by the way.

I'm Bernadette. I'm Uncle Evan's niece.

I'm calling the cops right now.

I'm calling the fucking police.

I'm crazy about you.

I'm flattered.

I'm from Oakland, ho!

I'm glad we knocked on your door.

I'm gonna tell the driver that you're coming out.

I'm having a way better time here

I'm here to heal,

I'm jealous.

I'm just an architect, but, uh,

I'm no expert, I was only there for a semester, but,

I'm not cutting it.

I'm not having a party,

I'm not like you, Evan.

I'm not looking, so excuse me.

I'm not so sure.

I'm not used to girls just being so open about that.

I'm so fucking stupid!

I'm so sorry, it was warmer here.

I'm sorry, Daddy.

I'm sorry.

I'm sure monster can wait till Monday.

I'm sure you'll get a lot of likes though.

I'm working very hard.

I've loved you ever since Mommy brought you home.

If I can get out of that conference

If I ever see your fucking lying face again.

If I were you,

If our bodies are capable of doing it,

If you don't log out someone could do terrible things with it.

If you promise to behave, I'll take out the gag.

If you really love me,

Ignore that asshole.

In fact, you know what?

In the beginning.

Introducing the Levy family!

Is going against your own nature.

Is it a Father's Day present for Daddy?

Is it prison where you get ****d every day

Is more into his own ass than yours.

Is nothing compared to what I'm going to do to you

Is that all you do?

Is that real?

Is that your final answer?

Is their daddy, huh?

Is this the last one?

It even knocked two traffic lights out.

It had nothing to do with them.

It is the only way.

It just shows up at my fucking door!

It kinda dries it out.

It looks like he's trying to communicate.

It was a little bit hairy for a while,

It was awesome.

It was free pizza! Free fucking pizza!

It was just a game, Evan.

It was Kantner, not Canter.

It'll help circulate.

It's a little bit magenta, but it's almost perfect.

It's almost dry though.

It's Aunt Karen's stuff, we wouldn't go near it.

It's because

It's been awhile.

It's called "To Catch a Predator."

It's cheating. We still have 90 minutes.

It's dangerous.

It's fine. It's fine.

It's gonna be such a shame to see your wife divorce you!

It's here.

It's in our DNA.

It's just sex.

It's just sex. We're all adults here.

It's just...

It's Karen on FaceTime!

It's like being a fake rock star.

It's like destiny that we were meant to meet.

It's like this.

It's looking for a driver.

It's more like "momma."

It's not exactly MOMA...

It's really a hobby now, I haven't had a real gig in years.

It's supposed to be bubble wrapped and packed up and ready to go.

It's time for Monkey to go to bed.

It's time for the Family Feud!

It's Vivian!

It's your relationship, Evan.

Jackpot!

Jake got stung by a jellyfish. He was crying.

Jake. Lisa.

Jesus, Evan, we're not fucking whores!

Jim and I are going to drive up for the opening

Just a little bit. Just to clean it up.

Just be careful. It's old.

Just like your daddy.

Just one second, sir, please.

Just relax and enjoy it.

Just tell me. How much do you want?

Karen Alvarado. That's such a pretty name.

Keep going.

Kids, we said after breakfast.

Knock knock!

Last night had nothing to do with my family.

Last weekend we were in New Zealand for 24 hours.

Let their kids play here if you're a convicted pedophile?

Let's change, I feel gross.

Let's face it, Evan. You're a monster.

Let's finish this.

Let's get out of here.

Let's go!

Let's go!

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's talk later. You seem a little distracted.

Let's welcome our lovely, beautiful and charming,

Like me?

Like, being with one person your whole life,

Look at all this shit.

Look at his face.

Look closely. So you'll remember us.

Look what I found.

Look, I'm a DJ like Evan!

Look.

Look. Kids, say hello to your dad.

Looking for this?

Looks like everyone's gone for the long weekend.

Looks like it's just me and you, kid.

Louis!

Louis!

Louis!

Louis! Be careful!

Louis! Shh!

Make yourselves at home.

Maybe Ashley's on Facebook chat?

Maybe he did.

Maybe if I get done early, I can,

Me neither. Unless I designed it.

Miss you.

Mmm hmm.

Mmm mmm. No, I'll take care of it. Don't worry.

Mom, can Louis come to the beach with us?

Monkey in the middle! Monkey in the middle!

Monkey needs to stay here and keep your dad company

Monkey, good boy.

Monkey, that's mine.

Monkey?

Monkey?

Monster been waiting three weeks.

Monster can smell you!

Monster doesn't want to start a fight.

Monster made kids disappear.

Monster retarded.

Monster sad.

Monster surprised?

Monster very happy.

Monster wanna finish what we started.

Monster will be quiet!

More than anything in the world.

Morning, Louis.

Most of what you see is hers.

Mr. Evan Webber!

Mr. Webber, how are you, sir?

Mr. Webber!

Mr. Webber?

Ms. Bel, would you please get our contestant ready?

Ms. Bel!

Muah! I love it.

My favorite.

My husband is gonna want to be with other girls.

My kid dropped mine in the tub,

My kids speak it perfectly.

My phone got wet and she left hers at her house.

My scar! My scar! My scar!

My surgery!

My wife loves her, Fran Valenzuela.

Never come near my family again.

Never.

Nice house.

No matter how much they love their families.

No matter who they are.

No one's fucking home! We tried every house!

No really. It's fine.

No, Genesis, give him that!

No, help! Help!

No, I didn't. It was all their idea.

No, I don't know anyone around here

No, I mean... Yes.

No, I'm okay.

No, it's fine. Don't worry.

No, it's fine. We celebrated this morning.

No, let's go to Tokyo.

No, Louis needs to stay here and do some work.

No, no. It's exactly what I think!

No, no. It's fine.

No, we can do it. We don't mind.

No!

No!

No!

No!

No! Help me!

No! No!

No! No! Gotta be pretty for your funeral.

No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! Stop!

No! Please!

No.

No. No, no, no.

No. No, this is Mommy's catalog.

No. That's not what I meant.

Nobody fucking move!

None.

None.

Not around here, you won't.

Not everyone would just let two total strangers into their house these days.

Not FaceTime.

Not like when I was in my 20s, but, uh...

Not like you guys, but, uh, Tri State area.

Not really.

Nothing's off limit, sexually.

Now we have to punish you.

Now you seem old.

Now, fuck me, Daddy!

Now! Back to our million dollar question.

Obviously, you're with Uncle Evan.

Of course. It's, uh, down the hall on the right.

Oh, Daddy!

Oh, Evan? Can I use your bathroom?

Oh, fuck!

Oh, fuck.

Oh, great school.

Oh, hi, nice to meet you.

Oh, I almost forgot. Yes, your phone.

Oh, I don't mind.

Oh, I'll take them.

Oh, I've never been.

Oh, let's hope.

Oh, like you lied to your wife?

Oh, look at that beautiful looking cake!

Oh, monster confused!

Oh, monster happy.

Oh, my fucking God!

Oh, my fucking God! Jesus!

Oh, my God,

Oh, my God, you are all alone on Father's Day.

Oh, my God, you're like a MythBuster.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Thank you.

Oh, my God. That's so cool!

Oh, my...

Oh, no!

Oh, sorry.

Oh, thanks, but...

Oh, that's what happens when you try to impress girls in the bat cage.

Oh, then that's really good

Oh, there's Evan. There he is!

Oh, twosomes, threesomes. It doesn't matter!

Oh, you can't hide from monster!

Oh, you guys...

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Okay,

Okay, gracias, I'll have it all packed up for you.

Okay, I'll do it bigger next time.

Okay, let's give him a lifeline.

Okay, man in the middle!

Okay, say goodbye to Daddy.

Okay, then don't let me interrupt you.

Okay! Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Please.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Knock knock.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Sorry, me neither.

On my kids?

One, two, three!

Or death?

Or should I say monster!

Or two miles?

Our first category...

Out.

Over a single night of perversion!

Ow!

Please buckle your seatbelt, sir.

Please don't do this!

Please don't tell Karen.

Please leave a message or send a text. Ciao.

Please stop!

Please, Genesis!

Please, just once more.

Please, let me go!

Please, please, please take it out! Take it out!

Please, somebody help me!

Please!

Please! Bel. Please.

Please! Please!

Please?

Please.

Please.

Please.

Please. Here's your clothes.

Please. Please, don't do this.

Please. Please.

Poor Evan, we'll keep you company!

Poor little guy.

Possibly three.

Post something really personal for all your friends to see.

Psst! In here.

Ready or not? Here we come!

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really? Oh.

Red's my favorite.

Remember that night when we were all alone

Right now!

Right.

Ronnie is gonna have a field day with this one.

Run! Run! Monster's coming!

Say goodbye to Monkey.

Schoolyards.

Send our love to Karen and the kids!

Sex with boundaries isn't really sex.

Sex?

She doesn't have one, she's too young.

She doesn't have to do anything in bed,

She doesn't love you the way I do.

She is so talented.

She just lies there like a fucking starfish.

She sees a hot girl and chases after her.

She started composing when she was 13.

She was, uh, she was born in Barcelona.

She's at the beach with my kids.

She's beautiful. You're a lucky guy.

She's really talented.

She's the real deal.

Shh!

Shh.

Shit!

Shit!

Shit! Shit! Shit!

Shut the fuck up, both of you right now!

Shut the fuck up!

So Evan, did we hurt your shoulder?

So he doesn't stay all alone during the weekend.

So how could you be a flight attendant if you're only 15?

So I can drive you there.

So I don't have to think about it, you know?

So obviously I believe that things happen by your own design.

So where'd you come in from?

So why didn't you think of them when you were inside us?

So you haven't been with anyone else in all those years?

So, are you guys... What do you guys do?

So, home stretch.

So, I want to get comfortable with having threesomes now,

So? Have they ever seen a cheating dick before?

So...

Sorry, I didn't mean it like that.

Sorry, I was just being honest.

Sorry, we're shooting a music video.

Sorry. So sorry.

Sorry. We had to try one.

Statutory ****, Evan.

Still, it's extremely fragile and I don't trust those movers

Stop apologizing, it's okay.

Stop it!

Stop! Bel!

Stop! Stop!

Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! My ears! My ears!

Sure, sure. Um...

Sure.

Sure.

Take your bags to your rooms. Then go use the bathroom.

Tell that to your shoulder.

Ten seconds.

Thank you so much, Evan.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks to our sponsor Louis for that little lovely break.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

That doesn't change how much I love them!

That guy barely spoke English.

That guy's a magician.

That long?

That's a statement.

That's about the extent of my Spanish anyway.

That's correct.

That's helping.

That's irresponsible parenting.

That's my daughter's. You take that off!

That's not you.

The cab must've misunderstood us.

The car can wait. Come on.

The cement still hasn't dried, but it should be fine by tomorrow night.

The chance to punish a pedophile.

The game hasn't started yet.

The Gregorys?

The jury will.

The rain.

The taxi just dropped us here.

Then at that stupid party we were supposed to go to.

Then we were meant to. Right?

Then you find the blend.

There we go. You look pretty.

There you have it.

There's Evan cutie!

There's Evan!

There's Evan!

There's something we have to learn from each other.

These two cute little girls can put you behind bars

They don't deserve a father like you.

They made me.

They should be in like, MOMA.

They're crazy!

They're crazy!

They're dangerous!

They're so pretty.

Thick, long hair.

Thirty seconds. Only inside the house.

This could be our home.

This could be our little secret.

This is amazing.

This is beyond embarrassing.

This is fucking serious!

This is fucking sick!

This is gonna be your little fucking head, you fucking cheater!

This is her third album.

This is just like art class.

This is like a Gaudi building, but small.

This is like...

This is literally saving our lives.

This is really upsetting, okay?

This is so retarded.

This is the third house we've tried.

This is what happens when you break the rules of the game, Evan.

This is what you did to your family.

This is you, Evan.

This one on the right.

This shit's dangerous, Evan.

This...

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tick tock.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Time to say goodbye! Please! Please!

Too late, the kids are awake.

Trust me, it's the only reliable way.

Twenty minutes away.

Twenty years behind bars.

Uh yeah, why?

Uh, I'm in a really good groove now,

Uh, okay.

Um,

Um, but, uh...

Um, I know this is gonna sound weird,

Um, thank you so, so much.

Underwear models are the kind of guys you fuck when you're 14.

Unlike that fucking starfish we work with. Ugh.

Untie him, Belly.

Untie him.

Untie me, please.

Untie me.

Untie me.

Untie me.

Until yesterday.

Victims of your sleazy, disgusting, perverted behavior.

Wait, how old are you?

Wanna go for a little ride?

Watch this, Evan.

Watch this!

We can find a cab outside. It's no problem.

We can forget this ever happened.

We can smell you, Evan.

We can't say that, Belly, it's racist.

We did things you and Mommy never did.

We didn't want to tell you, someone broke in

We don't sleep.

We don't want to impose.

We don't want to mess up your house.

We don't want to ruin your night.

We got you good.

We have a very special one,

We have chicken...

We have some extra robes. I'll, uh, go get them.

We may be encountering some turbulence.

We missed you.

We really don't want to go to a party soaking wet.

We saw that in a movie, Evan.

We want to make breakky for you every morning.

We want you to be comfy, Evan.

We were freezing.

We were gonna spend Father's Day there, but, uh, work happened.

We were inspired from last night. Remember?

We were just playing monkey in the middle.

We were trying to warm up.

We'll be back after a message from our sponsors.

We'll be back after this commercial break.

We'll just get the address and be out of your hair.

We'll leave.

We're in here.

We're lucky we even got one.

We're not animals.

We're so sorry to bother you, sir,

We've been walking around for, like, 20 minutes.

Welcome to America's favorite game show,

Well, ask it, for fuck's sake!

Well, everything's online now, so...

Well, hopefully one day you'll find both.

Well, I do.

Well, I got married when I was 30.

Well, I have pretty eclectic taste.

Well, I have to confess, it's not usually this exciting around here

Well, I'm sorry. I'm afraid I can't help you.

Well, if we don't find you by sunrise,

Well, if you guys want you can come in and use my phone.

Well, it used to be my job.

Well, it's fun when you're in college.

Well, it's okay. I have no complaints.

Well, looks like it's time for our first commercial break.

Well, Monkey...

Well, now she'll fucking find you!

Well, this isn't awkward at all.

Well, when you love someone...

Well, you don't look that dangerous.

Well, you guys picked an awesome location.

Well, you lied to me, I tried to help you!

What a clever way to hide this from the kids, Evan!

What about you? How's your project?

What am I supposed to do?

What are you doing!

What are you hiding here, huh?

What do you think we are, hookers?

What do you want?

What do you want?

What I did to Karen's statue

What I tell my wife is none of your goddamn...

What in the fuck are you doing!

What is the proper punishment for a pedophile?

What the fuck are you doing?

What the fuck are you talking about?

What the fuck did y'all do?

What the fuck fuck fuck, this is fucking insane!

What the fuck is so funny!

What the fuck is that?

What the fuck is this shit!

What the fuck!

What the fuck! What?

What the hell are you doing?

What was I supposed to do?

What was that?

What would the other parents do?

What would you like for your entree, sir?

What would your client say? Your neighbors?

What would your wife say if we told her everything we did last night?

What?

What?

What?

What? Like a record salesman?

What? Now, you're gonna kill me!

What're you gonna do when you find me?

What's going on, little guys?

What's our next category, Ms. Bel?

What's that?

What's the address?

What's the point of this?

What's the proper punishment for a pedophile?

What's wrong, Daddy?

Whatever!

When I'm with a guy, I want him to have the time of his life.

Where do you think you're going, Evan?

Where should we put these?

Where we give the audience what they want!

Where you guys based out of?

Where?

Where's Bel?

Where's your wife?

Which way is MOMA?

Who did this to monster!

Who the fuck are you?

Who Wants to be a Pedophile!

Who's Louis?

Who's there?

Who's there?

Whoa, stop. Stop.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Whoa, you're not 43.

Whoopsie daisy!

Whore!

Why are these sculptures here?

Why did you do that to me!

Why did you do that to me!

Why did you do that to me?

Why did you hit me, Daddy?

Why didn't you let your girlfriend in?

Why, Evan?

Why! Why did you do that to me!

Why? 'Cause you fucked me?

Why? Why! Because I fucked you?

Will Evan have to pick up his kids?

Wish me happy birthday. I turn 22 next week.

Worst case scenario,

Wow, how was that jet lag?

Wow, those were some really long commercials.

Wow!

Wow! Chocolate with sprinkles!

Wow! She's so pretty.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow. We're like, far.

Wrong answer.

Wrong answer. Correct answer is

Yeah maybe your wife should stick to painting.

Yeah, ah, barely.

Yeah, but with the kids and my exhibition

Yeah, close your eyes, baby.

Yeah, helpless.

Yeah, I certainly am.

Yeah, I keep in shape.

Yeah, I mean, like, seriously,

Yeah, I mean, we've never seen one of these before.

Yeah, I went to Parsons.

Yeah, I'm sure he will.

Yeah, I'm sure she was a poor helpless 25 year old.

Yeah, like the beginning of time.

Yeah, Mommy.

Yeah, my feet are, like, dying.

Yeah, my wife loves Gaudi.

Yeah, so I'll just text you when it's at the gallery.

Yeah, there he goes! Stop!

Yeah, this is Monkey.

Yeah, we could get sick and die.

Yeah, we make the most of it.

Yeah, well, I think traveling is the best way to get life experience.

Yeah, why, Evan?

Yeah, you are.

Yeah, you know he loves the beach.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Excuse me.

Yeah. It's called art.

Yeah. Sure.

Yes, Belly, but it's gotta be hard.

Yes, Evan, fuck her!

Yes! Yes!

Yes?

Yes?

Yes.

Yes. Did you pack the bomb?

Yes. Have you packed the chainsaw?

Yes. Yes. Yes. I'll tell them.

Yes. You can.

You are hot.

You are such a lightweight.

You are the hottest.

You better hope the police get here before Karen does.

You came to my house! You came to me!

You can tuck me in like you always did.

You can't escape.

You can't have access to an iPad, Evan.

You can't hide from us.

You can't pick up your kids from prison.

You can't run away from us, Daddy.

You could be trying to reach a child.

You didn't pack the chainsaw?

You didn't really think we were gonna kill you, did you?

You don't listen to her, Daddy.

You don't wanna lose an ear.

You fucked me! You fucked me!

You fucking crazy bitch!

You fucking whores!

You fucking whores!

You guys are like the perfect couple.

You have any idea what you've done?

You have so many records.

You have Spanish music.

You have three minutes!

You have your phone?

You killed him!

You killed him!

You know how that can be.

You know what?

You know what's funny? They never say no.

You know you really should be more careful with Facebook.

You know, every girl's first love

You know, most firearm deaths are a family member of the gun owner.

You know, that sweet guy that saved two girls from the rain?

You know, you fly around the world first class,

You leave the house, I shoot.

You like how it fits me, Daddy?

You like this?

You like what you see?

You look 21, you lied to me!

You must have sex, like, all day.

You must work out, like, every day.

You pervert.

You really make the most of it.

You spied on me?

You sucked my cock, you both fucking sucked my cock!

You sure? I feel like such an idiot.

You take that off.

You tell us to get dressed.

You took a fucking bubble bath!

You two live together?

You wanna go door to door telling your neighbors

You want something to eat, Bel?

You wanted it! You wanted it! You came on to me!

You were my favorite.

You'll just fuck anything, you'll just fuck anything!

You're a child molester?

You're a good little girl!

You're a life saver, Evan.

You're all the same.

You're both crazy fucking bitches!

You're calling from 458...

You're gonna fucking kill me!

You're gonna kill me?

You're gonna kill me? Why?

You're leaving. Now.

You're like Major Lazer!

You're murderers.

You're not gonna get out and say bye?

You're not hiding something, are you, Evan?

You're really into music.

You're right, this could get awkward.

You're sick.

You're the fucking whore!

You're to be executed at dawn.

You're welcome...

You've been a very bad boy, Evan!

You've proved your point.

Your family are victims.

Your wife killed him with her shitty sculpture.

Your wife's an amazing artist.

Your wife's clothes are gonna need dry cleaning.

Your wife's not gonna see you like this.

Yup, that was... You're sick of that.

24, 23, 22...

26, 25...

28, 27...

30, 29...

45 minutes.

100 yards?

458 Canter.

500 yards?

911, what's your emergency?

Ah...

Are you guys tired? Yeah!

Evan?

Go ahead.

Go!

Go! Go!

Guys!

I don't understand girls like that.

I was a DJ.

It was the gayest thing ever.

London.

Monster happy.

Right, kids? Right.

Rome.

She's my friend from Spain. Oh.

Shit.

Sorry, Belly.

Sorry.

Stop it! Stop it!

Stop! Bel!

Thank you. No, no, no...

What happened? Evan!

What the fuck are you doing?

Yeah, Daddy's little girl!

Yeah, fuck her good!

Yeah, you can.

You think so? Yeah, then we can get the pool.

...by two girls! Evan!

A real one. It's okay.

Air boxing? Yeah, like, you know?

Are you sure? Yeah.

Bel! What?

Bel... Why?

Bullshit. Thirty seconds. Go! Go!

Bye, Louis. Super secret party?

Bye, Monkey. Night night, Monkey.

Bye. Bye, Daddy.

Bye. Ciao.

Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!

Call 911! No, no, no, Evan!

Call 911! I've been kidnapped... Evan, Evan...

Cheating Evan. Cheating Evan who?

Come here. The car's outside.

Come on, Evan. Join us. Yeah, join the party.

Continue... I just fucking love the way it's long.

Dallas. Oh? I used to live in Austin.

Evan? Oh, Evan?

Everybody packed? Yeah.

Excuse me, sir. Yes.

for the rest of your life! Get out of my house!

Fuck me, Daddy! Yeah!

Fuck me! Attaboy, Evan.

Genesis. Genesis.

Get out of my house! Be careful,

Gracias. De nada.

Happy Father's Day! Happy Father's Day!

He was chasing them. Yeah.

He's here to pick up... The art work outside.

He's okay now. Where is he?

Hello? Could I use your phone, please?

Hey, wait. Wait.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. I'm... She's Macarena.

How are the kids? Not so good.

Huh? No.

I don't believe it. You don't have to.

I gotta stop these crazy ass bitches. Louis, forget it!

I know this is so random. It's fine.

I love you. Bel...

I love you. I love you, too.

I love you. I love you.

I love you. Love you, too.

I love you. No!

I'm Louis. Hi.

I'm sorry. Fucking shoulder.

I've been dying to meet her. Answer it.

It could be my kids! Hi Evan, welcome back.

It's nothing. Get out of my way!

It's upsetting! It's not what you think.

Keep going. You and your gorgeous,

Let's get to know her. No! No!

Look. Take those off,

Louis... See you, kids.

Morning, Daddy. Evan! Evan!

Mr. Webber, I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you.

Next question. Genesis.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

Night night. Sweet dreams.

No fucking way. I can't believe you're 43.

No rules. None.

No! No! Three!

No. No. Not really.

Oh, come on. You're not having a party.

Oh, it's okay. I'm sorry, baby.

Oh, no! Yeah.

Oh, okay. Oh, my God, I'm sorry.

Oh, would I? Yeah.

Oh! Bye!

Okay, okay. Cake! Cake! Cake!

One! No!

Open it! Open it! Open it! Open it! Open it! Open it!

Please, I miss your hugs. Bel. Listen to me.

Ready, Evan? No!

Scream all you fucking want! Help me!

She made all these? Yeah.

So sweet. I'll trade you.

Somebody touch this? We didn't touch it.

Starfish? This girl we work with...

Super secret party. Okay.

Surprise! Surprise!

Thank you. Mom helped us.

Thank you. Thank you, that's nice.

Thank you. Yay.

That would be awesome. Rice?

That's unfair. Knock knock.

This is your wife? Yup.

Two. Do it!

Vivian, please. I... Don't.

We made you breakky. I'm not hungry.

What are you doing? Much better.

What the fuck was that? Nothing.

What's going on, Louis? What's shakin'?

What's magenta? This color.

What's the address? His name's Evan.

Why would Evan do this? She said it wasn't us.

Yeah. It must be worth a fortune.

Yeah. Yes.

Yes. Excuse me.

Yes. Have you packed the cannon?

You broke the rule. Evan, why did you do that?

You like it? I love it.

You like it? I love it.

You must be Louis. Yes.

You're different from the others. Yeah.

...God!

'cause it's not supposed to be like this.

"I love the sound of vinyl. I'm Evan."

"No one will know. Come on, fuck us!"

"We're flight attendants. Come on, fuck us!