Happy Death Day Edit

A fine piece of man ass.

A simple "no thanks" would do!

A very lasting relationship.

Aah! Aah!

About it before.

About it before.

Across the quantum plane.

Again.

Ah, ah, what do we have here?

Ah, thanks.

Ah!

Ah.

Ain't that great!

All of this running and hiding has made me so miserable.

All right, come on. You're just messing with me, right?

All right, look, the way I see it is is...

All right.

All right. Yeah.

All the signs of a psycho killer were th...

Almost forgot.

Already dropped it.

Am I in a dorm room?

And barfing pretzel chunks all over the bar embarrassing.

And don't forget,

And I am so, so sorry that I hurt you.

And I love you.

And I think I finally figured it out.

And I was afraid you were gonna fall

And I wasn't sure if that... material

And I wasn't sure if... the material gets... wrinkled.

And I...

And I...

And I'm losing mine.

And if that's the way that you refer to girls,

And is that chocolate milk I see?

And is that chocolate milk I see?

And lock me in a jail cell?

And maybe the Uber driver that I spit on last week.

And my driver's license is in my pocket.

And put just one candle on it.

And she literally

And somebody kills you?

And Take Advantage of Her, don't judge.

And the partially negative hydrogen alkali group.

And the size of the lesions...

And these are signs of...

And this morning he drove to Atlanta

And we still need to pick this year's charity.

And we've never met before.

And whoever's trying to kill you.

And, um...

And...

And...

Any questions?

Anyhoo...

Anyhoo...

Anyhoo... don't be too late

Anyhoo... Lori's little plot was super lame.

Anyway, I can't change what I've done,

Are you closer with your mom?

Are you high?

Are you in there?

Are you kidding me? Ghostbusters.

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

As far away as possible.

Asshole!

Assuming that I believe any of this is even remotely possible,

Assuming there is one.

At least have the balls to leave.

At these frat parties, okay?

Ate...

Authorities are still not sure if Tombs is responsible

Because I'm on my way to pick up Jace.

Because you've killed me before.

Becky, look out.

Becky! Becky?

Becky?

Becky.

Becky.

Bedroom is officially a crime scene and all,

Believe me; I know it sounds totally crazy,

Between the partially positive beta carbon...

Brought you home.

Busy night?

But for some reason...

But he just kept choosing you.

But I can start trying to be a better person today.

But I have already lived through this day.

But I I I didn't have time to grab my clothes

But I never ate it before.

But I promise I'll explain everything tomorrow.

But I'm here.

But I'm trying not to let that bring me down,

But I'm trying not to let that bring me down.

But I've been way too selfish to even appreciate it.

But if I finally make it through this day somehow,

But isn't this a bit much?

But it was always you.

But it's never gonna stop!

But it's never too late to change.

But she was so nice to me this morning.

But someone is, I just don't know who it is yet.

But this is happening to me, I swear to God.

But what I really want to know is...

But you can't fall in love.

But you're a feisty little shit, ain't you?

But, uh...

But...

But... I think something like this

Call me?

Can I have a word, please?

Can I help you?

Can I pay for my coffee, please?

Can we start over?

Can you help me stop reliving the same day over and over,

Can't even remember the last time he called me

Can't find my damn book.

Car alarm.

Carter!

Carter!

Carter.

Carter.

Catch me now, bitch!

Cheers?

Chill out. It's just another rolling blackout, sweetie.

Clever girl.

Come on, come on.

Come on, hon, live a little.

Come on, hurry up, man.

Come on, just...

Come on, Nick, seriously,

Come on, no.

Come on!

Come on!

Come on.

Come on. Olly, olly, oxen free.

Could you get me a soda?

Crazy bitch.

Creepy Tim.

Dad, no, Dad, I'm fine.

Damn shame.

Danielle.

Danielle's, like, freaking out.

Did I totally embarrass myself last night?

Did you drug him first?

Did you ever figure out how Tombs got free?

Did you really think you could keep it a secret from me?

Did you really think you could keep it a secret from me?

Do what?

Do you go through a can of hairspray

Do you have any Tylenol?

Do you mind if I borrow this?

Do you want to take me out for my birthday?

Does this look infected to you?

Doing a double for Jen. She has the flu.

Don't "what" me.

Don't be too late or all the cute Sigma boys

Don't be too late, or all the cute Sigma boys will be taken.

Don't expect me to let you coast by in my class now.

Don't know if you remember my name or not.

Don't look at me.

Don't mess with a Kappa bitch.

Don't you want to know how I found out?

Dr. Lawrence to outpatient services.

Dr. Lawrence to outpatient services.

Dr. Surd and Dr. Margolan, 2476.

Driver's license?

Dude, did you hit that fine vagi...

Dude, did you hit that fine vagine or wha...

Dude, did you hit that fine vagine or wha...

Dude, did you hit that fine vagine or wha...

Dude, did you hit that fine vagine or what?

Dude, did you hit that...

Each new day is...

Eat it, bitch!

Eventually, I'm gonna run out.

Everyone would assume that he killed me.

Everything's fine.

Ew!

Excuse me, what are you doing?

Excuse me.

Feel better.

Few calories won't kill ya.

Fine vagine out!

Fine.

Flat to fabulous, instantly.

Following a deadly shootout this morning

For a gunshot wound, following a...

For a last minute business meeting

For a young girl to have feelings for an older man,

For me, it took something, like, totally crazy, but...

For my birthday, right?

For over an hour.

For the record, I didn't take advantage of you last night.

G 48!

Get me out, get me out!

Get out.

Get your school spirit on before the big game.

Give me a list of names

Go on, Lori.

Go on, Lori.

Going on in the building.

Going somewhere?

Good morning.

Got it.

Gotta go.

Great.

Gregory, look out!

Gregory?

Gregory?

Gregory.

Groundhog Day.

Guess all he wanted was a cheap slut like you!

Ha!

Happy birthday, baby.

Happy birthday.

Have a nice day.

Have fun in the Sahara Tent.

Have you met my student, Teresa?

He has a gun! He has a gun, run!

He was trying before, but this time I got away.

He's going to escape! Call the police!

He's going to escape.

He's going to escape. Go get help.

He's going to fall right... now.

He's gonna be so excited to see you.

He's so hot.

He's trying to kill me again.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Help me! Help me!

Here we come!

Hey, come on!

Hey, hey, hey. Calm down.

Hey, I wasn't sure if you wanted...

Hey, sweetie.

Hey, Tree?

Hey, uh, you know, I don't think you should be

Hey, wait!

Hey, we can't do this today.

Hey, you okay?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey. What are you doing?

Hey...

Hi, Daddy. Sorry I'm late.

Hi, Tim.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. It's nice to meet you.

His name's Carter.

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hold up. I'm coming.

House meeting at lunch.

How are your fries?

How totally sad and disappointing it is

How you feel, baby!

How's school?

How's that going for you?

I always got to skip school.

I am so, so sorry. I...

I avoided all of it...

I bet you miss her.

I bet you miss her.

I better see you at the meeting today.

I can say right now there's no way

I can say right now, there's no way we're doing

I can't believe you tried to save my life!

I can't believe you would do this to me,

I can't hear you!

I can't hear you!

I did it!

I did it!

I did it.

I died in my sleep.

I do.

I don't have it.

I don't have to text you back.

I don't know if you remember my name or not.

I don't know if you remember my name or not.

I don't know what's going on

I don't know what's happening to me.

I don't know who's going to kill me,

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. I couldn't bear the thought

I don't know. Later.

I don't think I have that many chances left.

I don't think she'd be very proud.

I explained it to you, it got me nowhere.

I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I folded your pants... for you last night,

I got to go.

I gotta go.

I guess I thought that if

I guess.

I hate this sticker.

I hate you.

I have been the worst roommate.

I have it all the time. It's supposed to mean, like,

I have it at least five times a day.

I have patients.

I have to run, but what are you doing later tonight?

I haven't.

I hope "nobody" used a condom.

I just called your phone.

I just have to say

I just knew there was something wrong with Lori.

I just thought I'd show a little school spirit.

I just want clean underwear!

I keep on getting weaker every time I come back.

I knew it was you!

I know I was speeding, Officer.

I know I've been a bad roommate,

I know that today's hard with your mom and all.

I know what is going to happen before it happens.

I know what you're gonna say.

I know you don't like girls.

I know you're back there.

I know you're not asleep.

I mean, are you...

I mean, especially if what you're saying is true.

I mean, given the severity of the scar tissue

I mean, I don't know if you remember my name or not.

I mean, isn't that kind of a given?

I mean, it literally could be anyone.

I mean, look, you were probably

I mean, no, I me...

I mean, no, not until last night.

I mean, who has motive?

I mean, who takes their first date to Subway?

I might be able to help, you know?

I miss Mom.

I miss that crazy horse laugh

I miss the way that she smells.

I missed breakfast.

I missed breakfast.

I need to talk to you.

I need you to listen to me.

I need you to stand up.

I never should've started seeing you.

I promise not to be such a loser.

I promise you, you'll feel better tomorrow.

I promise.

I really am sorry. Did you ice it?

I sat in that restaurant waiting for you

I sat in that restaurant waiting for you for over an...

I skipped breakfast...

I stopped it!

I think his name was...

I think I just spotted a bug.

I think she said she had, like, a double shift.

I thought if I stopped running, that I could beat it.

I thought that you...

I took an elective course on neurocognition

I want to hear about this mystery guy.

I was dying.

I was miserable.

I was never close with my dad.

I wasn't sure if you wanted to, uh, you know,

I won't let anything happen to you.

I, um...

I, um...

I...

I... folded your pants last night,

I... I want to hear your story.

I'll be right back.

I'll just make this one real quick for you, okay?

I'll take it down to the police.

I'm Barbara.

I'm Carter, by the way.

I'm drunk.

I'm ending this.

I'm gonna have his babies.

I'm gonna kill you!

I'm just a little scratched up.

I'm just borrowing it for tonight.

I'm just happy

I'm just saying, I I...

I'm kidding.

I'm not a good person, Carter.

I'm not doing anything today, if if you want to...

I'm not falling in love with you.

I'm not scared. Why don't you go try this

I'm not sleeping in my car again.

I'm officially over this.

I'm pretty sure.

I'm really thirsty.

I'm sorry about all this.

I'm sorry again about the... the mess.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm... just trying to...

I'm sorry. That...

I'm standing outside the Bayfield University Hospital,

I'm sure they can tell us

I'm surprised you remember my name.

I'm the so called fine vagine.

I'm trying to get interviewed here.

I'm...

I'm... I'm sorry.

If I am, does that mean that you're going to arrest me

If I avoided you...

If I don't get out of here, I'm gonna die.

If I don't reset this day, he's gone forever.

If my mom saw me now,

If only it were that easy.

Imagine being able to create today's hottest...

In the subject shows an acceleration

Is bound to have some pretty serious consequences.

Is that an invitation?

Is that chocolate milk I see?

Is this a joke?

It is none of your business.

It smells like Hot Pockets and feet.

It was wrong,

It was, it was me.

It'll just turn me into a chunker.

It's a chance to be somebody better.

It's a little loud, don't you think?

It's been on the board since last Thursday, Tree.

It's been so much worse.

It's fine.

It's it's just me.

It's just that...

It's kind of like Houdini.

It's like you've been here before.

It's none of my business,

It's not like you have a footlong.

It's okay. It's just me.

It's so exhausting.

It's true.

It's Tuesday the 19th.

It's under your clothes, on... on the...

Je...

Just calm down.

Just having a bad dream or something.

Just say yes.

Just, uh, coming by to...

Just... take the day off and get some rest.

Keep going!

Keys, keys, keys.

Kind of always forgets.

Knows it's my birthday.

Let me help you.

Let's go live now to Bayfield University Hospital,

Let's see you get in here now, asshole.

License and registration.

Like Becky here.

Like I took a dump on your mom's head?

Like your classes?

Like your tie.

Like, two weeks ago.

Listen to me.

Locomotive response

Locomotive response in the subject shows

Look, I know it's really random,

Look, I know this isn't gonna make any sense,

Look, I was... bringing you this back.

Look, it's normal

Look, Lori,

Look, no offense, but the last time

Look, Tim, let's get real.

Look, Tree...

Look, weirdo,

Lori, I...

Lori, somebody's gonna kill me tonight.

Lori. Hi.

Losers.

Lots to do; gotta go.

Love is love, right?

Ma'am, are you under the influence of alcohol

Major trauma.

Maybe because you wouldn't stop sleeping with him.

Maybe this is karma. Maybe I deserve it.

Maybe you should switch to water next time, hon.

Me, too.

Me. I was wrong.

Mm.

Mm. Just this one.

Mmm!

Mmm. Mmm.

My bracelet.

My cupcake.

My dad would buy us this, like, huge birthday cake

My favorite girls. Blow it out.

My head is killing me.

Nathan's been acting

Never better.

Never posted any cute selfies,

Never thought I'd get clocked for it.

Never.

Nice one, dickhead.

Nice one, dickhead.

Nice one, dickhead.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Nick?

No one knows.

No way.

No, dumbass.

No, it's symbolic, okay?

No, it's...

No, just the check, please.

No, this isn't some stupid joke.

No, we did not have sex,

No, you need to stay here for observation.

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No! Bitch!

No! That is what I'm trying to...

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. I haven't.

No. I've been having the weirdest day and... mmm.

Nobody is trying to kill you.

Nobody.

Not a word of this to anyone. Got it?

Not at all.

Not the best picture, I might add.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing. Except for that cat lady buffet

Now turn around.

Now you go out there and get yourself

Now, see that pledge over there,

O Okay, okay, you made me a cupcake.

O On the dresser.

Of everybody who knows it's your birthday

Of sitting through another uncomfortable celebration

Oh, and you also rammed your tongue down Nick Sims' throat

Oh, fuck.

Oh, God,

Oh, Gregory, where are the car keys? Come on.

Oh, hey. You're up.

Oh, hey. You're up.

Oh, hey. You're up.

Oh, hey. You're up.

Oh, I don't know,

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, I guess I'm

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

Oh, my God, make it stop,

Oh, my God, she is such a tool.

Oh, my God, this is a nightmare.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! That is so good.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Becky?

Oh, my God. Come on.

Oh, my head is killing me... do you have any Tylenol?

Oh, my...

Oh, my...

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Oh, okay.

Oh, sh... shit!

Oh, shit, I'm so late for class.

Oh, shit, Nick, you scared me.

Oh, shit!

Oh, stupid thing got jammed. Oh, just wrapping up here.

Oh, thank God for that.

Oh, that's not the only reason.

Oh, Tim!

Oh, uh...

Oh, uh... yes.

Oh, we've been trying to get in contact with your parents,

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! By the way,

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Must have been before we met.

Oh. She...

Oh. Um, that tiny girl from T.J. Maxx that I got fired.

Oh...

Oh... crap, I'm so late for class.

Oh...!

Okay, good.

Okay, I get it.

Okay, I'm calling the cops.

Okay, maybe it's Danielle.

Okay, Mr. I'm Gonna Take This Drunk Girl Home

Okay, see you soon.

Okay, then.

Okay, then.

Okay, this isn't helping.

Okay, this this is a really bad idea.

Okay, Tim, we went on a date.

Okay, well, so is dying for the 16th time.

Okay, whoa.

Okay, you guys are hilarious.

Okay!

Okay?

Okay? I slept on Ryan's bed.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Bye ee.

Okay. I just...

On life.

On my birthday.

On this developing situation.

One.

Only if it's yours.

Only to be murdered by someone I may or may not know?

Ooh.

Open your eyes.

Or all the cute Sigma boys will be taken.

Or any other controlled substance?

Or choke on your own vomit, like Janis Joplin.

Or...

Other victims he's claimed to have buried across

Our tuition dollars at work.

Our tuition dollars at work.

Our tuition dollars at work.

Out of all the days of your life,

Over me.

Ow! Ah!

Ow.

Ow...

Owned a pair of Crocs.

Pardon me?

Perfect scapegoat.

Please tell me you're kidding.

Please? A little help? Carter?

Poisoning a cupcake? Really?

Prove it.

Really strange since our big fight,

Right in front of Danielle.

Right in front of her last night.

Right.

Right. Yeah.

Run!

Safety's off.

Safety's on, little girl.

Say something.

See you at lunch.

See you soon, asshole.

See, that's just it.

Seriously, I've been having it all day, it's so weird.

Seriously?

Seriously?

She finally rolls in.

She finally rolls in.

She finally rolls in.

She finally rolls in.

She finally rolls in.

She has.

She never wore makeup,

She said she'd be here.

She's so out of the house next year.

Shit, shit, shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit. Oh, God, get me out!

Should've killed me when you had the chance.

Shut up!

Shut up!

Shut up!

Sisters don't keep secrets.

Sisters don't keep secrets.

Sleep in or not, so...

Sleep in or not.

Slowly.

Slowly.

Small talk.

So consider it collective amnesia.

So if you can't be faithful to her,

So not Kappa cuisine.

So were you having a bad dream or something?

So you had to find another way.

So you have unlimited opportunities to solve

So you're you're having bad dreams.

So, this has got to be, like,

So, uh, now that your...

So, w... we didn't...

So, wait, you literally think you're reliving the same day?

So...

Someone drank my kombucha.

Someone's thinking about you while they're masturbating.

Sorry, I didn't know where you lived, you know?

Sorry?

Sorry.

Sorry. Too many carbs. Toodles.

Special delivery.

Sprinklers are about to go off!

Sprinklers.

Stay buckled and have a good time...

Stay calm.

Stop global warming?

Stop global warming? I...

Stop global warming? I...

Stop it right now!

Stop trying to be someone you're not.

Stop!

Super helpful.

Sure.

Sure.

Surprise?

Suspect is believed...

T shirts.

Take a bite.

Taking that many. I mean, you could...

Technically... you should be dead.

Tell me what's going on.

Ten percent off with your student ID.

Ten percent off with your student ID.

Teresa, it's Dad.

Teresa, it's Dad.

Thank God you locked the door.

Thank you so much for helping me out.

Thank you so much!

Thank you.