Night School Edit

A 178. That's like college, right?

A hero returns.

A hustler, a liar.

A little fun fact about me, I actually went here.

A lot of money in tips

A maverick.

A school.

A squared plus b squared equals c squared.

A squared plus b squared equals c squared.

A tuck in?

A what? Dental hygienist.

About 10 times.

Actually, I would like to observe for a minute, if that's okay.

Ah! You go, girl. That's my baby.

Ah...

Ain't no "H" in my name.

Ain't no bullshit in me.

Ain't that where you met your bottom bitch at?

AirDrop it to you.

All I'm sayin', fam... Forget it.

All right, all right.

All right, come here. You know what?

All right, everybody. This is a big day.

All right, guys, listen.

All right, I stashed the body.

All right, let's go ahead and do some introductions.

All right, let's make a toast.

All right, Marvin. Hit me. Thank you.

All right, Mila, how we lookin'?

All right, Piedmont High, make room for the night school crew!

All right, then.

All right, y'all.

All right, y'all. We got the party up in here tonight!

All right, you do the hard work, you get rewarded for it.

All right! Are you listening to me?

All right! Hey, everybody, I'm Mackenzie.

All right! Now, listen to me!

All right! What are we gonna do?

All right? I go to take a bite of my cheesecake,

All right? Say it with me.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Agree to disagree.

All right. When she pull up,

All we gotta do is hypotenuse it.

All we gotta do is use the Pythagorean theorem.

All yours, Teddy.

Also,

Also, that baseball coach slash principal guy, he's on his way.

Amen!

Amen! Yeah.

Amen! Yes, sir! Welcome, Brother Teddy.

And a teacher that actually believed in me,

And all the Lyft driving I've been doing,

And also I wanna have sex on a regular basis.

And as for the rest of you?

And begin.

And big surprise...

And check and see what his balls do.

And do not tell Lisa about this until it's a done deal.

And do that other stuff.

And don't act like you don't wanna be able to finally say that I'm dumb.

And even then it was, like, offering to give the cop my panties

And God willing, he'll wake up in a couple of hours.

And he doesn't know how to make a diorama.

And he looks strangely like Bruno Mars.

And he put 'em in the cheesecake to get out of paying.

And here you are.

And I admit,

And I am well within my rights

And I apologize.

And I blamed you.

And I can avoid juvie if I get my GED.

And I can't work her.

And I did not want that element in here.

And I don't know about you guys, but that's a win for me.

And I don't like spicy food, but this one...

And I dropped out of high school when I was pregnant with my first child.

And I had all the farmer markets smashed. No! No!

And I hate that I am teaching a room full of cheaters!

And I have a flash of news for you, guy. I manscape down here.

And I just got these pants, fam.

And I promise you, I'm done.

And I realized it wasn't just a movie.

And I take the bus.

And I'll tell you what to do after that because I'm in charge.

And I'm gonna need your support.

And I'm just not all that crazy about him.

And I'm not afraid to use it.

And I'm not your house cleaner.

And I'mma be rolling in the dough.

And if I don't get this second chance, then it's over for me.

And if you keep up with all the stuff that we've been doing,

And if you know Jay, that ain't gonna work.

And it turned out great for both of us.

And it wasn't until I met my amazing night school classmates,

And it's to make a diorama.

And judging by what you just said to me,

And just got replaced by a robot.

And maybe you could put your touch on this place, change the design?

And my rib, my Cleopatra, my queen, my bottom bitch,

And my son, we call him Little Mac, he has decided to drop out of school.

And now my windshield was...

And now, a pop quiz

And she live all the way in Arkansas.

And she pulled a 1500 on the practice test.

And stand on the side of a highway and hawk no goddamn chicken.

And that was the thrill of a lifetime, okay?

And that's different.

And the only thing that's really holding up this transition

And the other night, when I got my revenge,

And then Teddy,

And then we would jump onto the elementary school roof.

And then,

And these are the pubes of an African American guy.

And this isn't a ring.

And this world is stressing me out.

And to be honest with you,

And to my dad...

And unfortunately, we don't offer night school here.

And wait for you to make a new shank?

And we already know the value of two sides of the triangle.

And we can pop bottles all night

And what was really going on with you at the board, anyways?

And what's your name?

And when I get my GED, I'm gonna pursue my dreams

And who is she?

And you gonna take that test! Guys, guys, guys!

And you have to get a temp job.

And you know that. I don't know why I was so nervous.

And you take that test,

And you thought you didn't do good, but look at me now!

And, by the way, I think Denise has incredible titties.

And, wait for it, "no GED required."

Any pastor that's putting a thong on his balls ain't right with God.

Any time.

Any way I can get you to respectfully shut that baby up?

Anybody out there?

Anything is possible!

Are we done here, Stewart?

Are we just gonna gloss over the fact that we just watched a prison fight?

Are y'all in the Sunken Place?

Are you having a seizure?

Are you okay? I feel faint.

Are you on crack? It's Skype.

Are you ready? Good luck, guys.

Are you sure?

Aren't these beautiful? He did these just for us.

Aren't you a little old to be a pop star now?

Aren't you a little young to die?

Around 8:00 p.m.

As a loudmouth hustler with a boatload of learning disabilities.

As opposed to when we went to high school,

As we cross this stage,

Ashamed that I couldn't take a test.

Ashamed that I didn't learn like my classmates.

Ashamed that I let my family and my friends down.

Ask Stewart.

At the scene of the crime.

Attention, intruders. This is Principal Patowsky.

Babe, you seen my white out?

Baby, it's me.

Baby, that's amazing.

Baby, you can have whatever you like

Baby? Hmm?

Barbecue Nation. Barbecue Safari.

Basically, it's like dyslexia, but with math.

Basically, what you wanna do,

Beautiful and inspiring words. Thank you, Mikayla.

Because I don't know if you noticed the cerulean kind of undertone

Because I missed a few on purpose.

Because I wouldn't do that.

Because I'm getting a whole different vibe.

Because it's written sloppy.

Because it's your house, right?

Because that's what confuses you.

Because they found some Molly in my locker

Been talking about your kids and everything all day!

Before it's too late and we have to live in Randy's parents' laundry room.

Before you went and stole the test.

Being a little paranoid, aren't we, Stew? Am I?

Big Mac, man, I'm sorry about that. That hot chicken,

Big Mac.

Bitch.

Bobby got skills.

Bobby likes to hit piñatas!

Bobby, you supposed to be a hardened criminal, man.

Bobby. You a criminal.

Booty look good, don't it?

Boy, I was just playin' when I said that earlier.

Boy, I'm sorry. I'm just messin' with you.

Boy!

Brother Isaac, I'm a black man.

Brother Teddy, I have been waiting on the Lord

Brother Teddy.

Brother, I'm just tryin' to make a honest livin'.

Brother. Especially a black woman.

Busted!

But all that stuff was said out of love

But as magical as these moments that we've been having may be...

But as your unofficial financial adviser,

But hanging out with you guys scared the shit out of me.

But he said it out of love.

But here's the deal, Teddy. If you're trying to kiss my ass,

But I ain't feelin' this Mr. Miyagi shit. Okay?

But I can also tell that your wife isn't on the same page.

But I don't lie.

But I have work to do.

But I know you can. Mmm.

But I know you're actually covering up

But I like the way you nailed down the calculations on the pot odds.

But I love being a mom.

But I made it to the other side.

But I would love,

But I'mma take it again though.

But I'mma take it again!

But if you let me explain... No.

But my kale game, my kale game... No!

But my point is this, all those years ago

But now I'm going to become a dental hygienist.

But one that comes with a crushing loneliness.

But really, you're just looking at one thing.

But there are no decent sales jobs for an employee of the month at Barbecue City.

But they get the flavor in deep. Jaylen, Jaylen!

But they wouldn't have if I hadn't had put it on their lap.

But understand that I am okay.

But when you get to class,

But y'all gonna end up in stupid student debt.

But y'all should've thought about that

But you are not dumb!

But you can't go there.

But you don't divide it. You add it.

But you hate school so why are we even having this conversation?

But you would have to go to night school

But you're a hustler.

But, babe,

But, then, what did I just say?

Bye, babe.

Bye, boo. Hey!

Bye!

Call me.

Can I get a tour of the office?

Can I help you, sir?

Can you do that?

Can you just jump?

Carnitas? You like carnitas? There you go, girl.

Carrie said in order to use the Pythagorean theorem,

Carrie, can we just take down the 'tude?

Carrie, if you're not gonna help me,

Carrie, please.

Carrie, please.

Carrie, right? Oh...

Carrie, the thing with me is, I prefer to use the world as my classroom.

Carrie, those are very strong accusations.

Carrie! What's the square root of 81?

Carrie... At the party.

Carry on, Carrie.

Cat's out the bag! Get out! You're embarrassing us!

Charm the principal a little bit.

Chef Clemont also said that there will be no check.

Chef Clemont invited my entire team to dinner tonight.

Chef Clemont...

Chicken suit or not,

Chop him up?

Christian Chicken!

Class dismissed.

Cold feet?

Cold feet?

Come and get your chicken if you ready to start winning.

Come here!

Come here.

Come on up.

Come on, Carrie. Don't play right now. Just tell me the score.

Come on, Carrie. Look, look.

Come on, come on. Mac!

Come on, focus!

Come on, I'm dying!

Come on, man! Go ahead with that.

Come on, Mila!

Come on, Teddy, you got this.

Come on, Teddy.

Come on, Teddy.

Come on, Teddy. Come on.

Come on, Teddy. Focus!

Come on, we're clearing those neural pathways.

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on. God, I can't wait to sleep.

Come on. Man.

Come on. Touch my big, black bat.

Come over here! Come over here!

Concentrate. Get rid of that mind chatter.

Concentrate. Teddy, concentrate.

Congratulations.

Cool!

Cool.

Crack it open like a walnut. Thank you. No, thank you.

Crack that nut like a walnut. Thank you. No, thank you.

Crack that nut open! Thank you. No, thank you.

Cut me a break, man! I've had enough!

Dad, I know you ain't never mean it

Damn it!

Damn! It's the PTA meeting.

Denise got hair on her titties.

Descriptive, my ass. That's racist.

Did you bring me some dried shamrocks, leprechaun?

Did you hypotenuse it?

Did you orchestrate this whole thing?

Difference is I didn't have a teacher like you

Do I look like a sheep to you, Marv?

Do I make myself clear?

Do me a favor. Yeah?

Do the congregation know he a freak like that?

Do what men do with women's asses. Oh, man!

Do you have something in your teeth?

Do you hear me, Mac? You're gonna hide this body.

Do you need help?

Do you smell gas?

Do yourself a favor

Does anybody else wanna try to take a crack at this?

Does that complete your order?

Don't be such a dick!

Don't come back to the apartment tonight.

Don't do this, Teddy.

Don't even look at him. Stewart's an asshole.

Don't let the doorknob hit you where the good Lord split you.

Don't shit me.

Don't take this the wrong way

Don't talk to me like that.

Don't you let me down!

Don't you run from me!

Don't! He's so little!

Done.

Dressed in street clothes,

Drive home safe. Oh, hey!

Drive your car.

Dude, I've been looking for a job everywhere, man.

Dude, Lisa's the best thing that ever happened to me.

Dudes that have a real job.

Dumbass.

During the day, I teach way too many classes

Dyscalculia? I don't even know how to pronounce that.

Dyscalculia. However you say it.

Earlier, you said, unlike these folks, you're not a night school type of person.

Enjoy it!

Enjoy your tacos. That smile can light up a room, can't it?

Enough, Bobby!

Enough, Bobby.

Enough! Finish him! Step on his head!

Enough. Looking at 18 things at one time,

Especially them short stay rooms.

Even if he didn't tell her, so what? Okay, here's the thing...

Even though he's super academic, he wears pink blazers sometimes.

Ever since you proposed, you haven't been yourself.

Every day, every night,

Every last one of you cheated.

Everybody knows that the customer's always right.

Everybody, come on.

Everyone sees right through you. Okay, how about we...

Everyone, take a seat.

Excellent! Good!

Excuse me for asking, but are you doing a black voice?

Excuse me, Carrie. I had actually got those tacos for you to eat.

Excuse me!

Excuse me!

Excuse me?

Excuse me?

Excuse me?

Excuse me? Hey! Nah, girl, you know he ain't got no gold.

Excuse me? You kind of loud.

Excuse me. This dance is for students only.

Explain to me what this stuff is.

Feel like it's a cloud of racism around me.

Feels weird, man!

Fiancée.

Final demonstration.

Find the value of "c."

Fire took me out of that thing.

Fired.

First identified by the 3.5 percenters, but that's another conversation.

First things first, let's get rid of this line.

Focus, Teddy! Focus!

Focus!

Focus!

Focus! Focus!

Focus! Let's go! Let's go!

Focus! Oh, God!

Focus.

Focus. You better get it right!

Fool, I'm gay.

For any of you who may have struggled to get it right the first time,

For learning disabilities.

For me and you.

For me, I first got woke when I seen Terminator.

For our first session of the semester. We start at 7:00.

For real. Like, what?

For STDs? That's not an issue.

For the fact that you're really just not that smart.

For us.

For way too little money.

For years, I've been pretending to be somebody else.

Forget I'm here.

Friends, friends, what is happening? What is happening?

From the burger joint, Mickey D's?

From working at He Man Movers for 30 years.

Fudge!

Game face, Lonnie.

GED!

Genius level.

Get across that roof, Mac.

Get back here!

Get buck! Get buck!

Get buck! Get buck! Get buck!

Get him!

Get it!

Get me out of here! Hey!

Get off the truck.

Get out of my face.

Get out of my...

Get out the car.

Get out the way, dude!

Get out the way, dude! Come on, man. I'll show you leaving.

Get out!

Get out!

Get what I want, which is my GED. Sounds pretty easy to me, Marv.

Get your arm out my face.

Get your ass up out of here. What? Say it again.

Girl, yeah, that's a little burnt leprechaun

Give it a rat tat tap! Good night!

Give me 30 seconds, okay? 30 seconds. Go.

Give me it back!

Give me that. No, I didn't think that.

Give me the answer! Say it!

Give me the Behind the Music about the chair.

Give me the damn answer. Tell me!

Glad y'all enjoyed the show.

Glory be!

Go ahead. Say hi.

Go get a job at the post office then!

Go in the kitchen, man.

Go mom it. Let's go. I'll try. I'll try.

Go on and have a good day now.

Go on.

Go out there before she does something with her butt.

Go over there and handle that situation at the drive through.

Go study!

Go to the library then.

Go, man! Hey! Who you honking at?

Go, T!

Go, Theresa!

Go!

God damn it.

God damn it. Like, literally, damn it.

God damn it. Lisa.

God don't see everything. Just let me know.

God is good.

God, I'm having the worst night!

God, that guy is a douchebag.

God!

God! What is your problem, man? What?

Goddamn!

Goddamn. What's your deal?

Goin' from cappin' bottles to hypotenuses and all that,

Going on two years.

Good luck, everybody.

Good morning, ladies.

Good to see you, bro. What's up, Ted?

Good to see you, lady.

Good to see you. Yes. Thank you.

Good. I've been in an accident.

Got it. Go! Go!

Grass fed beef, you don't know nothin' about no free range chicken.

Great! Superb!

Guys. Guys.

Has anybody here ever seen Stewart with his shirt off?

Have a good one.

He ain't told her shit.

He deserved that.

He didn't take it. I'm bad at it.

He don't know the answer!

He here, but he not.

He is quite frankly a terrible student

He is welcome to take my class if he wants.

He said it. Don't make him say it again.

He said you was bad. I didn't know you was that bad.

He sucks.

He took the money and ran off to Florida.

He was tough on me. He said some things.

He was wrongfully accused.

He what? He was turned on.

He's gettin' up! He's gettin' up!

He's gonna be a dental hygienist. Yes. Good for you, man!

He's in you. He's in you, ain't he?

He's jealous of your beauty.

He's lied four times.

He's saying "piñata."

Helium.

Hell yeah.

Hell, you get 400 points just for signing your name!

Hello, Cinnamon. Roxanne.

Hello, ladies. How was the shift?

Hello, Teddy.

Hello, Veronica. How was your shift?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Shit!

Help take it to the next level?

Help yourself to the goddamn study book.

Help!

Here, Carrie. Here. You check mine for me.

Here's the thing. All right?

Hey, all right!

Hey, anybody got anything? No.

Hey, babe.

Hey, babe.

Hey, baby. I miss you. Are you still at work?

Hey, Bobby, Bobby, shit just got real, man, what do we do?

Hey, brother, let me holler at you real quick.

Hey, can he really do that? Can he keep me from going here?

Hey, Carrie! Hey!

Hey, Carrie.

Hey, Dad! I did it, Dad!

Hey, guy. This is my demo.

Hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey! The results just came in.

Hey, hey, hey. Let's watch the language, please, Miss Carter.

Hey, lady. Dear Lord,

Hey, let me just say this, okay, while I got the platform.

Hey, man! I said don't do it.

Hey, Maya! Hey, Teddy.

Hey, now!

Hey, quick question, everybody.

Hey, so, give me a second. Hello?

Hey, Stew, you think you're taking the right approach here with these kids?

Hey, talk to me, man. How you doing?

Hey, Teddy!

Hey, Teddy! What's up, man?

Hey, what's up? I'm Mila.

Hey, y'all.

Hey, yo, what's up, bro? You hung up on me, man.

Hey, yo! Bobby, watch out, fam!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey.

Hey! My arm's kind of tingly.

Hey! Sellout!

Hey! Shit.

Hey! That's Teddy.

Hey! What you doing?

Hey! What's up, Stewart?

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hi.

Hey. No loitering in my hall.

Hi, gang. My name is Theresa,

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Give me some, man. Congrats.

Hide it. Chop, burn, bury?

Hide. Burn it?

His damn shoulder is in his mouth.

His fiancée is out of his league.

Hit the road, Jack.

Hmm?

Hold on a second. We got a code red. We got a code red.

Hold on, Mama.

Hold on. Marv, let me hit you back. Yo! Oh, shit!

Hold up! Stop, stop! What you doing?

Hollywood, how you doin'?

Holy shit! It worked!

Honestly, I have so many ideas.

Honesty.

Honey, I'm home!

Honey, you don't want to offend him. You're his guest, right?

Honk once if you love chicken!

Honk twice if you love the Lord.

Hot lava! Non stops.

How about you, ma'am? Yeah.

How about you, young lady? Oh.

How can I be out there stealing the test, Miss Carrie?

How do I look? Do I look smart? You look unbelievable.

How do you know my name?

How does your fiancée feel about you being in night school?

How many classes do we have left? That was weird, right?

How you feelin' today, Teddy?

How your fiancée don't know where you at? It's after dark.

Huh?

Huh?

Huh.

Hush. Baby, I said be quiet.

Hypotenuse it! Wait, what did I just say?

I actually have to work for four hours right now.

I ain't going there.

I ain't got time for this. Teddy, please, just listen.

I am an innovator.

I am here to teach if you're here to learn.

I am in a loveless marriage. Please.

I am not participating in this!

I am prepared. Mmm.

I am preparing them for the real world, Teddy.

I am so proud of you.

I am so proud of you. Yeah.

I am Teddy Walker.

I am the music teacher.

I am the principal of this high school. And I'm just dropping by to check on...

I am the principal of your child's school. I have to walk away now.

I am where I'm supposed to be. All right?

I am, babe, and it starts immediately.

I apologize if things have been a little crazy as of late.

I appreciate the whole "after school special" moment.

I appreciate you bringing this amazing, blazing, Satan chicken.

I appreciate your honesty.

I believe you planted these.

I bet that hurt your throat.

I blew it. I definitely blew that.

I came here to apologize.

I can do whatever I want, Teddy.

I can explain. It ain't what it look like.

I can give you a ride home for 10 bucks if you want.

I can jump, like, three feet!

I can just see you now, in the cutest outfit,

I can see it in your eyes, Morris.

I can smell cocoa butter and fried chicken at the same time.

I can work with this.

I can't believe I took off work for this shit.

I can't believe that I actually...

I can't believe we're gonna die over a GED practice test!

I can't even see. Where's my mirror?

I can't put on a chicken suit in 2018

I can't wait to be your porn star.

I can't work a brick wall.

I can't. I can't check it.

I cannot live a lifetime of driving around drunks in a Corolla.

I could probably hook you up.

I couldn't do math for shit when I was in school.

I couldn't get Bobby Flay to buy that beast.

I couldn't help but overhear your conversation.

I cut the crust off. Just how you like it.

I definitely didn't pass that one.

I did it, man! I did it!

I did it!

I did not get you fired.

I didn't do shit!

I didn't know if you had time for dinner or not

I didn't know you were so into chairs.

I didn't process none of that shit.

I didn't say anything about... You know what?

I didn't think about that. It is a business expense. Okay.

I didn't... Teddy.

I do.

I don't blame that girl for dumping you.

I don't care if he is your pastor!

I don't care if he's as dumb as a Minion.

I don't deserve it!

I don't even deal with politicians.

I don't get it.

I don't get paid by the head.

I don't got time to waste my time on the Pythagorean theorem.

I don't have nothin' to say to you!

I don't have to do housework anymore!

I don't know how to make the noise, but you know what I'm trying to say.

I don't know if I'm into this.

I don't know none of this shit. I need you.

I don't know shit.

I don't know the first thing about teaching biology.

I don't know this stuff.

I don't know what to say, man! Thank you!

I don't know what you put in me... It just hit me!

I don't know what you're into, man.

I don't know why. I have no idea why he's lookin' at me.

I don't know, fam. It might have worked.

I don't know, maybe you could stay with your night school friend.

I don't know, Mommy.

I don't know!

I don't know! Oh, God!

I don't know.

I don't know. He ain't got no friends.

I don't know. No!

I don't like cheaters.

I don't like him.

I don't like his attitude.

I don't like men that cheat.

I don't like women that cheat.

I don't mind that. I mean...

I don't need that. I haven't flirted since 1996,

I don't play by the...

I don't see no goddamn baby in there.

I don't think so.

I don't understand how that could be considered a lunch rush.

I don't wanna hear nothin' you got to say, man.

I don't wanna mess this one up, man.

I don't wanna study!

I don't work there yet.

I don't, man. The teacher is tough as hell.

I failed again.

I failed as a father.

I failed.

I failed.

I feel like this conversation's...

I figured.

I found this

I get it. That's the inside man, huh?

I get my GED, he gets his diploma.

I got a 117.

I got a touch of prostate cancer?

I got into education to make a difference in people's lives, not to ruin them.

I got it covered.

I got it right!

I got kicked out of my high school

I got learning herpes?

I got you.

I had a buck sixty coming to me, man! Okay. That's your fault!

I had grades. That's all I had.

I have a bat

I have it. I got it.

I have something to say to you, okay? What? What?

I haven't eaten breakfast. I don't know!

I heard a guy the other day say "I'm gonna crack that up like a walnut."

I just did this to get out of the house.

I just have one question before we do this.

I just know that with you by my side that anything is possible.

I just mean, I need you to show me the respect

I knew he would try this.

I knew it was a mistake. I knew it was a mistake.

I knew it! Now that you say it, it makes sense.

I knew it.

I know

I know I didn't get a perfect score.

I know it! I know it!

I know that much.

I know that that means that you're bullshitting.

I know this career change has been a lot.

I know what you did.

I know what you're doin', Teddy.

I know what's going on.

I know, Dad.

I know.

I laugh at how much we laughed.

I like women.

I live with my mom.

I look forward to seeing how you do on the midterm.

I love the weave!

I love you, too.

I love you, too.