Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993) Comedy Edit

A knot.

A little blond girl skipped through the woods

A nice big blow.

A very beautiful sonata My inamorata

A very beautiful sonata My inamorata

About a thousand decorations, et cetera, et cetera.

Advil! Midol! Get over here! To the helicopter.

After that, we may lose them forever.

Ah ha.

Ah huh!

Ah, ah. Ooh.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! Oh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh! Ah! Ah!

Ahh.

Aisle 5, mezzanine, to your left.

Ali MacGraw! My eyes.

Alka Seltzer!

All right.

All right.

All these years,

Aluminum siding. Ten year guarantee. No paint needed.

Americans were shocked by the announcement of the failure

An enemy control boat has changed course and is heading for our people.

And added to those already being held.

And eating two helpings of g****fruit and creamed corn.

And his lovely wife to these United States.

And I just can't hide it

And I just can't hide it

And I know, I know, I know, I know

And I owe him everything, Topper.

And I'll never forget the look on your face.

And if you move real slow

And in 15 years, when they're all paid for,

And now here's the Buckinghams with Kind of a Drag.

And now, the president of the United States, Thomas Benson.

And she ate their porridge and sat in their chairs

And so I would like to propose a toast.

And that dim sum fighting in the warehouse yesterday?

And then I realize where I had last seen this.

And there should be plenty to eat.

And tied to the hood of a car?

And to satisfy my male cravings to kill and win.

And to think I wore your mole. Get her out of here.

And what if she was?

And when those bears returned and discovered that mess...

And why did I bring helium instead of air?

Appoint an ambassador, he leaves the country.

As for you, get me Topper Harley.

As majority whip and chairman of the Foreign Affairs Committee

At first I thought they'd handed me the wrong dossier.

Bastards.

Because of your jealousy. You're gonna pay for this.

Because wherever you go, you take the pain with you.

Because you're the best of what's left.

Before we go in, you should know something.

Begging for forgiveness. Groveling, sniveling,

Below, sweeping the boat for bombs. What are you accusing me of?

Benson's 20 point lead in the poll six months ago

Besides, I don't think it's allowed here.

Big Brother, Little Sister, affirmative. Attack in 30.

Big Brother, Little Sister. We're at the prison.

Big Brother! Harbinger, where are you?

Board! Board!

Both fighters are showing signs of fatigue.

Both squads failed.

Bringing our people home should be our priority.

Bungee jumping is just too dangerous a sport.

Bungee jumping? That's it?

But I knew this day would come.

But I run from no man.

But if God is on our side, we will rendezvous on Lincoln's wart by noon.

But if something should keep us apart?

But if you think you can hurt me again, you're wrong.

But it just wasn't right. It wasn't natural.

But it's a sequel. I had to come.

But it's such a crazy world. I don't want anything to happen to us.

But no matter what, your face is on the tip of my tongue.

But now we're together again. We have much to look forward to.

But some of our men were missing in action.

But that's been the idea all along, hasn't it, Michelle?

But two things kept running through my mind.

But two walkin' hand in hand

But when you go into battle, take something of mine with you.

But you'll make that back on your heating bill.

Butcher of Baghdad. Hello?

By milking the White House goats

Can you get me off for old times' sake?

Closer together. Come on. Don't be shy.

Cock a doodle doo!

Cock a doodle doo.

Colonel, these men have taken a supreme vow of celibacy.

Colonel, who are they?

Colonel.

Come in!

Come with me.

Commander Harbinger advised me we have 11 hours to free the prisoners.

Commented on the failed mission.

Continuing on his campaign schedule.

Coochie coochie coo. Coochie goo.

Correspondent Jeri Kelter reports on this historic moment.

Damn it, man, that's the genius of my plan.

Damn tongue's dry. It's not mine, you know.

Despite this crisis, the president put on his best political face

Dexter?

Do not take literally. Repeat. Do not take literally.

Do you have any idea where you're going?

Do you know what the critics will say?

Don Corleone.

Don't jiggle me.

Don't push me. Before you bagged your first babe,

Don't worry.

Down a bit, down a bit. There. It's not very cold. Is this filtered?

Drop it!

Drop the gun!

Even the restraining order my parents slapped on him was no deterrent.

Every time I give an order, it gets screwed up!

Everything.

Ew.

Ew. You're so sweaty.

Exactly. Dexter is one of the captives.

Excuse me. I need a glass of water.

Feel you

Fighting, and shooting and killing.

Find out what she knows.

First guy to die, loses!

Five, four, three, two...

Follow me.

For a moment there, I thought you were...

For as long as you could possibly desire.

For that matter, neither do I. Let's get away from these power cables.

From out of nowhere, a patrol boat appeared.

Gabriella Sabatini?

Gentlemen, Ms. Huddleston, CIA, and Lieutenant Topper Harley.

Geronimo!

Geronimo!

Get on that helicopter with Dexter, where you belong.

Get the car.

Get your program right here. Program!

Give in this time and show me some affection

Go ahead. Shoot. You'll get nothing from me.

Go on about your business. I got a bone to settle with this guy.

Go on! Get out of here!

Go!

Go.

Gonna get us a nice little place with a white picket fence.

Good doggy!

Good luck.

Good men are hard to find.

Good. I love the boy. Kid's got guts.

Goodbye, Topper. God bless you.

Goodness sake. You know each other.

Got a light, lieutenant?

Gotcha! Listening at the door, huh?

Great Expectations.

Green, green, green...

Gummi Bears, Gummi Bears! Sprinkles, sprinkles!

Gummi Bears, Gummi Bears! Sprinkles, sprinkles...

Guys.

Ha! You missed!

Hadn't counted on that.

Harbinger, what are you doing here?

Harbinger, where were you when the patrol boat arrived?

Harley, I've been there.

Harley.

Has asked me to appeal to you, Mr. President

Has been captured during an aborted attempt to free our hostages.

Has plummeted since the hostage crisis began.

Has the president and Edwards running neck and neck.

He used to come around the schoolyard, day after day.

He was an older man, so wise in the ways of the world.

He worked for the CIA, training pilots in Germany.

He... He still loves me.

He's mine.

Head for the gate. Plenty of bad guys to shoot on the way.

Heads up Middle East covert operations.

Hello, George Mike Walters. Strength three. Over.

Hello, Lucky. Report my signal.

Here I am today, begging you not to make such good cars.

Here you go. It's $4.50.

Here's my 900 number.

Here's where we are and here is where they are.

Hey, hey, hey, rainy face! Hey, proud warrior.

Hey, this is where your conditioning pays off.

Hey, what's wrong, kid?

Hey, you yanking my crank?

Highest security.

His work has meant so much to so many.

Hm!

Hm?

Hm.

Hm.

Hm.

Hmm.

Hold it there! Hold it!

Hold me close And say goodnight

Hook up.

Hot Shots! Part Deux was filmed in Hollywood

How could you hurt so many innocent people?

How could you understand?

How would we get past the soldiers on that boat?

Huh! Yeah, so it is.

Hurt? Maybe. Once.

I can't keep track.

I can't walk.

I cannot go with you or ever see you again.

I couldn't believe they wanted him dead.

I didn't think you'd make it.

I didn't. It all came together when I saw you here.

I do that for the extra money.

I don't believe it.

I don't know what you know about the last war,

I don't know.

I don't know. I've had lots of women. Lost my flower at the age of 15.

I don't think so.

I don't want it.

I doubt more than half of you will return.

I feel better now. It's that raw fish odor.

I get that all the time. It must be the nose.

I got word he was alive, in a hospital in Berlin.

I guess I just never counted on finding a guy so deep, so sensitive.

I had Dexter imprisoned because I wanted you to suffer

I had no idea it meant so much to you.

I had to go to him.

I hate it already, and it's only been a few hours.

I have no idea what you mean.

I have to wee wee.

I help out fixing things.

I just can't get enough

I just... I can't go on. I...

I kill you where you stand, you imperialist Yankee Doodle dork.

I knew one day you'd come crawling back

I know about Ramada, Topper. I read your dossier.

I know I want you

I know I want you

I know we haven't had much time together

I know, I know, I know, I know

I know, I know, I know, I know

I left my heart in my other pants.

I look forward to it.

I love you so much.

I loved you in Wall Street!

I must talk to the president. Can you arrange that?

I never stopped loving you.

I owe you one.

I quit smoking.

I remember that day as if it were yesterday.

I remembered your inscription in my yearbook.

I said there's no one.

I see a couple of gulls, but...

I see you're no stranger to pain.

I so admired his persistence.

I thought I'd never see you again, that you were out of my life.

I told you. Warned you twice.

I want to do it all. Donahue. Geraldo.

I want to go in.

I want to love you

I want to squeeze you

I want you

I want you

I was afraid we'd lost you!

I was right, wasn't I? You sabotaged the other missions.

I was slitting throats for a living.

I was supposed to pick her up.

I would pleasure you at any time, in any place, in any way,

I wouldn't, neither should you. It doesn't hold water.

I'd fondle you in ways you can't imagine.

I'll assemble the men, with your permission.

I'll be all right.

I'll go to the rear.

I'll have a hamburger.

I'll let it go

I'll meet you at the rendezvous point.

I'll set my charges and blow the shit out of them.

I'm aborting the mission. Envelope is closed. We're lifting off.

I'm about to lose control And I think I like it

I'm about to lose control and I think I like it, yeah

I'm about to lose control, and I think I like it

I'm at heaven's door Inamorata

I'm done.

I'm fine.

I'm glad you're here. The hostages are being moved.

I'm going back for the president.

I'm going this time.

I'm gonna go back to Eagle River and marry my gal, Edith Mae.

I'm happy for you, kid.

I'm married. I was married before you and I ever met.

I'm not being noble, but do you have any idea what'd happen if you stay?

I'm not saying I don't trust you, and I'm not saying I do. But I don't.

I'm putty in your hands.

I'm so excited

I'm so excited

I'm so excited

I'm so excited

I'm so excited

I'm so tired. We get up at 5:00...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. We both know you belong with Dexter.

I'm staying here with you.

I'm still married today.

I'm taking charge of this mission. You mind working under a woman?

I've almost got it. This is a great shot.

I've been married.

I've been waiting for you, O Big One.

I've fallen for you big time.

I've fallen for you, Topper.

I've fired a couple of guns.

I've seen him. He's older, about my height.

I've seen the enemy. If you're not ready, you won't make it.

If Edwards hears of this, he'll use it against you.

If I was joking, I would say,

If I'm not there in 15, you know what to do.

If one of us can't make it to Blenheim Train Station?

If our lips should meet Inamorata

If something came up unexpectedly.

If we're still playing around, boy, that's just fine

If you should change your mind

In a few days, we'll be on the train to Hawaii.

In a pig's ear.

In an emotional address at the state capitol

In front of a live studio audience.

In my hands, nothing turns to putty.

In welcoming the Japanese prime minister

Informed sources reveal that the rescue team itself has been captured

Inside the glove compartment of a sanitation truck.

Ironically, I haven't picked up a racket in years.

Is like addin' just a pinch of spice

It has to end for me sometime.

It is imperative that you act now!

It makes...

It seems like only yesterday I was strafing your homes.

It seems there were three bears.

It takes two, baby

It takes two, baby

It takes two, baby

It takes two, baby

It takes two, baby

It takes two, baby

It takes two, baby

It was a... It's a gift.

It'll be great for the talk shows. Let's frame this up.

It'll take more than that to stop me, you devils!

It's $5.00 a minute. I'll waive the charges.

It's a few extra dollars now.

It's an ambush!

It's been a long time.

It's called "learning."

It's called "Secret Mission to Get Walters and Our Boys Back."

It's heavily guarded, but they won't expect an attack from the jungle.

It's like the colonel says:

It's peaceful. Quiet.

It's probably a doorstop somewhere. Got this one from a basset hound.

It's your show, hero.

Jeez!

Just believe that I love you.

Just take two

Just take two

Just take two

Just take two

Just take two

Kareem of Onion! Al Jarreau!

Keeps going, and going, and going, and going.

Kiss me like you've never kissed me before.

Kiss me, kiss me sweet Inamorata

Kiss me.

Know what I'm gonna do if we make it?

Korea, Airborne,

Ladies and gentlemen.

Last call for Train 590 for Glendale, San Francisco and Honolulu.

Lavinia. You're looking as lovely as the day we met.

Let the sun come out, you big bad G.I. Joe.

Let's get excited

Let's get going.

Let's get this over with. I feel ill.

Let's go to my apartment and discuss our mission.

Let's go! It's getting hot here.

Let's make this a fair fight.

Let's move out!

Let's move out.

Like a perfect remedy

Like an island, he's all alone

Like the previous six, this victim was found folded neatly in half

Like their fathers and grandfathers.

Like, for instance,

Little Sister, Big Brother. Are you in position?

Little Sister, this is Big Brother, we are in the ballpark.

Living in misery

Look at that! Those my teeth?

Look, I told myself last night was just going to be last night.

Looking for a place to sit, lieutenant?

Looking for a special treat

Looks like the upper hand is on the other foot, Saddam.

Lost mine in Laos. Little commie lopped it off.

Lost? Not a chance.

Made a public apology for his state being so flat.

Make a dream come true

March!

Maybe a fishing boat.

Maybe the one out there is, but not the one inside you.

Me and you

Me and you

Me!

Meet your parents and pet your dog.

Mishahuru Soto and Mrs. Soto.

Miss Huddleston!

Mm!

Mmm.

Mmm... Ah!

Mr. President, the CIA can't afford another failure.

Mr. President, this is Prime Minister Mishahuru Soto and Mrs. Soto.

Mr. President, we need a plan.

Mr. President.

My arm's asleep.

My fellow Americans and our millions of illegal aliens.

My friend, I yearn for freedom as much as anyone

My God, man, what does it mean?

My God, you're gonna love this!

My intestines were removed during action in the North Atlantic.

My leg too.

My parents are dead. My dog ate them.

My rescue mission was underway.

My skin's made of asbestos.

My war is over.

Nebraska Governor, Paul Burmaster,

Nice butt.

No Indians here. Over.

No one is allowed to talk.

No, no, I was just offering him a young lady.

No, no, no

No, no, no, no, no

No, no, no, no, no

No, no, no. The word "sabotage." What does it mean?

No, something else.

No, Topper, you don't understand.

No, you're not.

No! We'll lose Topper and Dexter.

Not that I think it would. Or it already has.

Nothing outlasts the...

Nothing, yet. But I want you to know I smell a rat.

Now I will kill you until you die from it.

Now march!

Now, that's a hell of a gun.

Of a terrorist dictator was thwarted at the same time.

Of all the missions in all the jungles...

Of course I do.

Of course.

Of yet another mission to rescue hostages from the Middle East.

Off to prison, American Satans.

Oh, dear Dexter. Look what they've done to your shoelaces.

Oh, God.

Oh, I'm practicing my A's.

Oh, Jesus! Don't you ever sneak up on me like that again.

Oh, look. I'm cut too.

Oh, Mr. Geppetto!

Oh, my darling. You've no idea what I've just been through.

Oh, Ramada, how could you have been so blind?

Oh, Ramada! It was always so easy for you.

Oh, those bluffs look treacherous.

Oh, well. Say che...

Oh, yeah

Oh, yeah, Topper Harley.

Oh!

Oh.

Okay, he is your husband.

Okay. I'm here.

Okay. Right a bit. Whoa, stop there.

Omar Sharif!

On business. Bombing, gassing, execution.

On two occasions we sent in squads to rescue those men.

Onboard. We're getting out.

One can be alone in a crowd

One can have a dream, baby

One can talk about being in love

One day when their porridge was too hot, they took a walk.

One fabulous day, one incredible experience.

One of our own may be aiding the enemy.

One pig snout sandwich.

Only men are allowed to do the fishing.

Only to continue in the highest spirit...

Ooh oo ooh

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Ooh, boy

Ooh, one can go out to a movie

Ooh! Ooh!

Our two great nations have begun...

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Oy!

Patrol boat!

Penny to Sky King, no parents in sight. Party is on.

Phil!

Pit bull's out of the cage. Crips are raiding the store.

Plan a reception, wrong hors d'oeuvres.

Pleading for another chance.

Please you

Please, you can tell me.

Pleasure.

Police are baffled.

President Benson is returning to Washington today

President Benson, Prime Minister Soto,

President Benson, where's your first lady?

President Benson.

Presidential challenger Senator Gray Edwards

Presidential military adviser Colonel Denton Walters

Presidents Bush, Reagan, Carter, Ford and Nixon

Prime Minister Tojo, Senator Edwards,

Privately, aides marveled at his spirit as he performed his morning routine

Ptooh!

Publicly, he seemed unaware of the political blow he had been dealt.

Put your arm around her.

Rabinowitz, demolition. Can't wait to blow something up for you.

Ramada,

Ramada, I do love you. I've tried to forget you

Ramada, I want to be with you. I want to hold you.

Ramada.

Ramada.

Ramada. Ramada. Ramada.

Ran away.

Really?

Recon reports Indians on the Warpath in your area. Over.

Remember, we're not American. These boys aren't stupid.

Report my signal. Over.

Reports also indicate that an attempt on the life

Reports directly to Benson.

Sabotage.

Sally Jessy. Oh, and who's that black chick...?

Save it for the enemy. We got a job to do.

Save yourselves!

Say that you're my sweetheart My love

Say that you're my sweetheart My love

Seems just like being home

Send the alert.

Sergeant pick that up. Someone could trip over it.

Sex. Wild, free, passionate, unbridled sex.

Sharing something so new, so dangerous,

She is.

She must be quite a woman.

She's CIA.

Shove over! I get the window seat.

Shut off your engine.

Shut off your engine. We're boarding.

Sign here. Initial here, here, and here.

Sign the document.

Sir, this is Topper Harley.

Six...

Slippery rascal!

So I should color my hair...

So, what you're saying is, that little blond girl is me.

Somebody once wrote, "Hell is the impossibility of reason."

Someone's subverting our mission, sir.

Something else bothers me a lot more.

Something really kinda sweet

Sorry, commander. Presidential orders.

Sorry, precious. You sold out the greatest country in the world.

Sorry, sweetheart, but this all day sucker is down to the soggy stick.

Starting now.

Stop it!

Surrender, Yankee infidels! You have no chance.

Sweet memories will last a long, long time

Swim for it! I'll catch up.

Swim for shore!

Take cover!

Take that to the bank and cash it!

Take the front door.

Tanning parlor accident at Dien Bien Phu.

Team Two take the prison. We get the villa.

Tell her I'm at the gym. No, I'm out of town.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks, Bob.

Thanks, brothers.

Thanks. I can kill again.

That beauty mark.

That little blond girl got scared.

That's it, good night.

That's it, men.

That's right, Cindy, it's 23 minutes past the hour.

That's what this place feels like. Hell.

That's your wife, sir.

Thattaboy.

The CNN/Victoria's Secret catalog poll

The day before we were to go

The exhilaration of experimenting,

The five living former chief executives

The food is tasty and nourishing.

The freedom fighter?

The Iraqi coast.

The junior senator from Minnesota, Gray Edwards.

The keys.

The library is to be built near the Fergus Falls Civic Center.

The peaceful leader of this country

The pivotal address of his political career.

The president of the United States, Thomas Benson.

The sky was blue. You wore gray. I was in chiffon.

The vultures are circling the carcass.

The vultures are circling the carcass. Repeat.

The way the sweat glistened on your hard body.

Their artillery will be down on us soon. We have to go.

Their families too. We'll teach them to skate...

Then let me stay with you.

Then you tied my ankles.

Then, suddenly, it happened.

There are clothes in the wheelhouse.

There isn't a fighting man on this planet that can...

There's a copter pad half a mile away.

There's a guard at the gate.

There's someone else, isn't there?

They are treating me good here.

They aren't moving around the ring as much.

They clicked with the wrong dictator.

They got me too. It's a real gusher.

They haven't seen a woman in decades.

They just cooked up the porridge and went for a walk.

They ordered me not to tell anyone.

They see a woman, they will know we are masquerading.

They see many boats, so they won't be suspicious.

They told me he died over Villenshtoben.

They've tied my shoelaces together.

Thinkin' that it's really nice

Third generation West Point. Top of his class.

This buggy going to America?

This card is printed on recycled paper.

This is Michelle Huddleston.

This is no time for partisan politics.

This is the best way to the prison compound.

This is the prison camp area.

This just in.

This may be our last chance to get the hostages out.

This means war!

This mission's important. We've got to take care of our people.

This one's on the QT.

This'll make me rich and f...

Tighter. Tighter.

To a clean environment.

To be passed like a large kidney stone?

To ensure success, we need Topper Harley.

To harmony with our planet and world prosperity.

To hide what's hurting you.

To His Excellency, the Prime Minister of Japan

To make a dream come true

To speak to the nation in what experts are calling

To stop your vicious, imperialistic tactics around the globe.

To world peace.

Today, Benson made a brief stop in Fergus Falls, Virginia

Tonight we put election politics aside as I join you

Tonight we'll put all other things aside

Tonight, the president and his top advisers will burn the midnight oil.

Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen

Took a torpedo in the gut. My bowels were replaced with hemp.

Topper Harley!

Topper Harley.

Topper Harley.

Topper, I was so young, just a schoolgirl.

Topper, let me tell you a little story.

Topper, no matter what happens, I want you to know that

Topper, there's so much to say.

Topper, they didn't make you this fighting machine.

Topper, Topper, Topper, Topper...

Topper, what are you reading?

Topper!

Topper!

Topper! Watch out!

Topper! You made it!

Topper?

Topper?

Topper.

Topper.

Topper.

Topper.

Topper. Yes, of course. Son I never had.

Two can make it just anyplace

Two can make that dream so real

Two can make that single room

Two can really ease the pain

Two can say how it really feels

Two car garage.

Uh oh!

Very touching, but it's no time to reminisce.

Wait here.

Wait, let me get a shot of you two.

Wait! I can't go any further. I need a drink.

Want you more and more Inamorata

War. It's fantastic!

Was?

Water. Water! Water, please.

We could hear gunfire from the compound.

We just can't hide it

We just received word from Michelle. Harley is missing.

We meet at last. The circle is complete.

We must be at the rendezvous point in seven hours or we miss our pickup.

We must get the men who went to get the men who went to get the men.

We shouldn't even think about tomorrow

We'll find a minister to marry us, and we'll never be apart.

We'll have a good time, baby, don't you worry

We'll send Colonel Walters to get our people.

We're going in!

We're gonna caulk the ashram if you want to stop by.

We're in charge now.

We're late. I know a shortcut.

We're too heavy. We need to lose weight.

We're working for them.

We've located him in the Far East.

We've served together before, sir. There's no one better.

Well, hello.

Well, my lips to yours.

Well, no damn wonder I didn't recognize you then.

Well, they let me live here.

Well, Walters, looks like we've got our saboteur.

Well...

Were on hand for the groundbreaking ceremony.

What about the others? We just can't leave them.

What are they gonna do, arrest me for smoking?

What could I have done to make you so vindictive?

What does she do?

What is it, Bob?

What we hope will be a long and successful dialogue.

What you do to me I just can't hide it

What's that, Bill?

What's wrong?

When are you gonna put Ramada behind you?

When I discovered I couldn't win Topper because

When you come back, I'm gonna throw you wonderful guys a party.

Where's Harbinger?

Wherever I'll be, I want you to know that...

Which one of you is Michelle Huddleston?

Who is it? Who is it?

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoo oo oo oo ooh

Why concern yourself with the feelings of one insignificant roommate?

Why did you have to come here now?

Why go over there to fight? We can do it right here at home.

Why? I thought you loved me.

Williams, com sync pac ram set MOS 92 H tact op spec patty wack.

With a love As warm as wine

With the election 10 days away, it may be a setback for the White House.

Women sense these things.

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Word of advice, don't call yourself the president.

Would we get to the men in time?

Wrap myself around you

Yeah, he won the Nobel Prize for inventing the artificial appendix.

Yeah, it takes two, baby

Yeah, one can take a walk in the moonlight

Yeah. They're filthy!

Yes, from America. Let's go.

Yes, sir. I'll get Dexter.