Mousehunt Edit

A centennial house could actually be worth something.

A chain reaction will start snapping them all.

A demonstration of... of how durable...

A find like this today is worth twice as much.

A LaRue really is.

A quarter? You think so small, Lars.

A scapegoat, someone to demonise. The same thing happened to Galileo.

Ah, I forgot to put holes in the box.

Ah, nuts!

Ah, poor little Catzilla.

Ah, shut up!

Ah, the mouse!

Ah, well.

Ah, you must be...Caesar.

Aha!

Aha!

Aha! Ow!

Aha! We've finally found our friend's home!

Alexander Falko!

All right, well, we'll all go upstairs!

All the trouble we'd have saved if we'd just thrown fruit at him!

All we have to do is grab it, baste it, and scarf it down!

All you have to do is make $1200 worth.

An advance? Ladies and gentlemen, it's the missing LaRue.

And bring this museum into the 21st century.

And for ze Mayor, la specialite de la maison,

And half is mine, including the half that you tried to sell.

And I will write you a cheque...

And myself, uh, we...

And old fashioned elbow grease couldn't fix.

And peanut butter and jelly for kids.

And splatter his devious mouse brain from here to kingdom come!

And this isn't just a house. It's a LaRue.

And would have, if it hadn't been for that bus!

Any advance on $5 million? Ladies and gentlemen, $5 million.

Any advance on 17?

April, I've got new ideas.

April!

April. What a surprise. Dropping by for no reason, I suppose?

April's been like this since high school.

Are you interested in spooling?

Are you trying to kill me?

As insanely generous as that is, I have to decline,

Back!

Because April gave us the $1200!

Because I have no respect for you!

Because there's something I probably should have mentioned...

Before his committal?

Before they carted him off to the laughing academy.

Believe me, I know. (Snap) Ah...

Bon appetit.

Bonjour! Our very best table.

Brothers. Family.

Bu but that's not string. Tha that's cord.

Built in 1876, the last LaRue in existence has five bedrooms...

Bus? You can't leave well enough alone, can you? You ruin everything!

But I appreciate your thoughtful concern.

But I really want to talk about marketing.

But I still wanted his approval.

But it didn't have this moulding.

But know this.

But my life is passing me by, and l...l need more!

But not the other side,

But nothing that a few nails...

But now he knows we're here, he won't come near us.

But that was 10 years ago, and it didn't have this moulding.

But that's just grilled cheese. What's the point?

But there's only one way to go from there, and that's down, baby, down!

But to that mouse,

But we have huge rats, the size of sumo wrestlers.

But you are welcome to come to the auction.

But you can call him anything you want.

But, Lars, that was our last resort!

C c can I have 7.5?

Can I have an advance on $2 million?

Can I have an advance on six?

Can I have the egg? Can l? Huh? Huh?

Can I have two, ladies and gentlemen?

Charles Lyle LaRue!

Charles Lyle LaRue!

Charles Lyle LaRue.

Charles Lyle LaRue.

Clear!

Come on, let's hit the sack.

Come on. (Screams)

Congratulations on your find. I'm a great admirer of LaRue.

Couldn't you find a black suit for your father's funeral?

Crunchy! Hmm. I love the almonds.

Daddy! You ate the head!

Dead animals always do.

Defecating...in the dining room.

Did he say, "Thanks, Ernie, it was delicious"? No.

Didn't know what...HIT US! (Bangs gavel)

Do something! He's coming to.

Do you have any of those knocking around?

Doc, I have to get out of here. I still have a chance.

Doc. I need to find a phone before I miss out on the deal of my life.

Does a wife need a reason? Oh, are you entertaining?

Don't forget to get toothpaste and Saran Wrap.

Don't let him get away!

Don't talk to me about betrayal. You should have told me about that offer!

Don't you see, Lars? That's all you've ever had are plans.

Duck a I'Orange avec du quack sauce...

Ee yew! Look! (Squishing)

Either way, this godforsaken museum piece is not worth a dime, is it?

EKG, a C spine, a chest x ray and pelvis. Now move!

Enjoy the party.

Ernie, i it's just a little mouse. Do we really have to kill it?

Ernie, I want you to have something.

Ernie, it's Christmas.

Ernie, we're not supposed to sell it. We're supposed to run it.

Ernie! Ernie, there was a quarter in there.

Ernie! Ernie!

Ernie.

Ernie. Ernie!

Excusez moi. Au revoir, les enfants!

Fiendish! I won't eat it. (Yells)

Fine, it's black.

Fire!

Five million bales of top grade cotton fibre.

For once the Smuntz name was worth something!

For ten millions.

Forty thousand hot lamps complete with rotating plate warming trays.

Full of pina coladas and a college girls.

Funny you should ask. I had all but given up on anyone wanting him.

Gentlemen, congratulations.

Gentlemen, I'm going to make you an offer.

Get me my Gouda.

Get your hand out of there immediately!

Give somebody else a chance with that gun.

God, I hate that mouse!

Goddamn, that mouse stinks! (Cackles)

Going...going...

Good idea.

Good. Well, you're the expert.

Gosh, it's a shame nobody's interested in buying the factory.

Great. A worthless house and a broken down string factory.

Great. Stick a "For Sale" sign up, see what we can get.

H he never lived there, but i i it's interesting.

H hey, stop it! Hey! Ow!

Had no idea what surprises were in store for us or...

Hang on, Ernie. The flashlight's broken.

Hasta la vista, you little rat bastard!

He did. He just wasn't smart enough to sell it.

He didn't mean it, Pop.

He only noticed the string I had tied it with.

He snapped the trap, ate the olive, and left the pit just to mock us.

He toasted the side with the cheese...

He was crazy!

He was locked in a trunk in the attic.

He'd be proud of you.

He's good.

He's not sitting in his hole in a smoking jacket,

He's spent most of his whole life in that box, I expect.

Heads.

Hello, ladies. How magnificent! Welcome!

Here it is!

Here you go. Knock yourself out.

Here! I want you two to share it.

Here's your problem.

Hey, isn't that Caesar's truck?

Hey, last night, did you hear the, uh...

Hey, there are some posters up here.

Hey!

Hey! Don't go!

Hey! Merry Christmas!

Hey! What are you doin'?

Hi, Ernie!

Hi. This is Ernest Smuntz of Smuntz String.

Hilde, the spool is smoking!

His Parma Charnel House went for six, ten years ago,

Historical Society told us of its value,

Honey, are you OK?

How about Ellman Square under the big clock at noon?

How about that?

How did he know that?

How'd you find him?

Huh? It's mozzarella and herring. You can taste the herring, right?

I can open up another restaurant, you're back with April,

I can't control everything in there.

I can't!

I didn't even tell her about the auction until after she took me back.

I didn't leave, Lars. I was cast out.

I distinctly remember somebody yelling, "Shoot!"

I don't believe it.

I don't even know them!

I don't know whether to congratulate you or wish you luck.

I don't know why, but...

I don't know. There's a lot of Eurotrash scarfin' the shrimps.

I don't think we're dealing with an ordinary mouse.

I feel fine. What time is it?

I feel fine. What time is it?

I found it my first day in America.

I got a chill. You shouldn't talk about Pop like that.

I got it!

I have $2 million, ladies and gentlemen. Can I have an advance?

I have $8 million over there.

I have never paid more than $10 million for a house in my life!

I have to run a little errand.

I hope you can take care of this, whatever it takes.

I know some people who've used a mouse as a spokesperson.

I l didn't even know he was there!

I l don't think I ordered my cheese sandwich with capers.

I made a special rack of lamb for his 70th birthday...

I mean, my brother and I own a string factory.

I see. I can't get enough of good moulding.

I slaved over that meal, making sure everything was perfect.

I suppose all arrangements could be completed within the week.

I tell you what.

I think he'd be proud of us.

I think if he were here right now,

I thought you'd be happy! I stood up for myself today!

I want you...to have...something.

I would like to introduce the owner of this architectural wonder,

I'd let you stay with me, you know, but, uh, April threw me out.

I'd like to draw your attention to the Lincrusia details...

I'd love to discuss selling our factory to you.

I'd say he looks like a "Fluffy."

I'll bet it's up in the ceiling, mostly!

I'll get to the point. LaRue. I have his books and his letters.

I'll have to pass.

I'm a man on a mission!

I'm about to join with the prey.

I'm actually standing in the missing LaRue!

I'm afraid that status is in transition.

I'm experiencing malfunction with the screen. Stand by.

I'm glad you could get here so quickly...

I'm just glad he finished it...

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm sorry, Pop. I'm sorry!

I'm talkin'...one mean pussy.

I'm thinking. I'm thinking!

I've got an idea for a caviar brie swirl

If he snaps one of these babies,

If I had a house, I'd sleep in it!

If only we could sell the factory.

If you boys put on this auction and nobody bid.

If you can do that... if you can think like a mouse...

If you don't pay the $1200, we repossess it.

If you find any real estate on that desk, let me know.

If you hadn't spent all our money on that tub, we might be able to pay.

In one fatal bite, it was all taken away from me.

Instead of dwelling on what we lack, let's be thankful for what we have.

Is this Zeppco lnternational?

It better. Because we can't handle any more intrusions.

It didn't matter what I did!

It just doesn't feel very sportsmanlike.

It seems the previous owner was found locked in a trunk in the attic.

It seems there is also a house.

It was my livelihood and my home.

It was, but you borrowed against it.

It would be unfair of us to deprive others of the chance to bid.

It'll be worth it!

It's a flea bomb!

It's cheese.

It's coming from up there!

It's funny you call the factory worthless,

It's huge.

It's just like him. Cold and spooky.

It's string.

It's the architectural find of the decade. Oh, let's go...

It's the greyest black I've ever seen.

It's the missing LaRue!

It's tragic.

Jacuzzi tub, Lars. It's a Jacuzzi tub.

January 4th, 0800 hours.

Je suisse enchante pour votre beaute.

Junk.

Just like the old man to die before I hit it big.

Just so we can keep the LaRue.

Keep her away from the walls! The house is priceless!

Keep it between you.

Keep perfectly still. This is it.

Keep the champagne coming. The more they drink, the higher they bid.

Kill him! Kill him! Find a blunt object!

Kill that unspeakable thing.

Ladies and gentlemen, can I have an advance? An advance on $2 million.

Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.

Ladies and gentlemen, will someone give me $6 million?

Lars, I'm stuck! Get me out of here! I can't breathe!

Lars, you remember lngrid and Hilde.

Lars! Gimme a hand with this.

Lars! Look!

Lars?

Leslie, cuisine, she is a fickle mistress...

Light a match, they're frightened by fire!

Listen. Hear it? It's coming from upstairs.

Lobster Loaf a la Ernest ou la bibliotheque.

Look at him just lying there.

Look at the bigger picture. You have no home, no wife, no money.

Look, this must be the architect. Look.

Look! You blew a hole in the floor!

Look. Look, look, look. It's only a toy.

Looks charcoal grey to me. Some gray polyester blend.

Looks like Caesar decided to make himself a sandwich.

Looks like you're off to a great start.

May I have an advance? An advance, ladies and gentlemen.

May I have one moment with my brother, please?

May I hear $3 million? I have three from the lady from New York City.

Maybe it'll bring you closer together.

Me? You...you blame me for this?

Mice don't mock. They don't have a sense of humour.

Mm.

Morning, gentlemen. I'm Maury. Can I help you?

Most people like cute little ones. Experience with what?

Mothballs.

Mr Mayor! Mr Mayor, over here! Mr Mayor!

Mr Smuntz, you've been hit by a bus.

Mus communis. Ugh. Male.

My brother and I have decided to reconsider your offer.

My kitchen!

My most prized possession.

Never underestimate your opponent.

No matter what happens, keep going.

No, Fluffy! No!

No, no, no, I couldn't be so crass as to allow you to do that.

No, no, no, no, no! These I must deliver myself.

No, no, no!

No, no! You'll blow a hole in the wall.

No! I want my kitty!

No?

No. The point is, I put everything into that restaurant.

No. You make it simple, singular, strong, with nylon.

Normal people are not...

Not in the morning! They need fruit for energy.

Not just any string. THE string.

Not now, when I am married to the owner...of a worthless death trap!

Nothing works.

Now you know this house will last forever.

Now, can I have an advance on 1.5? May I have two?

Now, Leslie, I'm just here to eat.

Now, we all know we're here to bid on the missing LaRue.

Now!

Of course it fits the decor.

Of the gold and silver leafed copper and pewter.

Oh, easy, easy, easy, easy!

Oh, give me something! I'm gonna brain you!

Oh, I'm Hilde, and this is lngrid.

Oh, no, not at the office.

Oh, sure. My father...

Oh, wait a minute, there's some mistake, this house is paid for.

Oh, well, is Lars in? I'd like to discuss preparations for the auction.

Oh, well. At least the day wasn't a total loss.

Oh, yeah, give it to me! Go ahead!

Oh, yeah. Let's see.

Oh!

Oh! And, of course, something no household should be without.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Stand still!

Oh! Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh. No good, huh? Otis, more curry.

OK, see you, then.

OK, then. Um, uh, so, we're gonna go upstairs!

OK, then. Yeah.

OK. Try this one.

One week from, uh...five days ago.

One, two, three!

Only one bed. I'll flip you for it.

Oof!

Ooh...He's got the scent now.

Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

Ow! Ow.

Pathetic? He's Hitler with a tail.

Please, April, don't go.

Pop's lucky piece of string.

Presentation is everything.

Promise me... that you will never sell...

Properly restored, of course.

Psychologically equipped to catch mice.

Put them in a room to outbid each other?

Raisins?

Really?

Really? So, what is its value today?

Really? That's unbelievable.

Really? What's this do for you?

Remember, everyone. Attention to detail is vital!

Say he has mastered a way to empty a mousetrap without getting caught.

Shall we start at $500,000?

She gave you the money? She didn't hear about the auction?

She just showed up at the factory and begged me to take her.

Shh!

Shh! He's goin' for the cherries!

Shouldn't take me more than a day or two to remove it.

Sipping cognac, giggling "I left the pit."

Sleeping in the street. Pitiful.

Smells like gas.

Smuntz String...

So the arugula doesn't wilt.

So, we need a ferocious feline with a history of mental illness.

So, what do you think a magnificent edifice like this is worth?

So, when is the, uh, earliest we can set the auction?

So...

Some things are more important than money, Ernie.

Sort of like collecting stamps, but bigger?

Spending your whole life in that stupid factory!

Spoons! Spoons! So many spoons, so little time.

Start thinking about how to get $1200.

Suivez moi. You brought the little ones. The little bicycle thieves.

Sure. That's how you perceive it.

Tell me how I will do this. Help me. How will I do this?

Ten to, uh, twelve centimetres long,

Thank you so much, Mr Falko.

Thank you, all, for coming.

Thank you, for joining us for this momentous occasion

Thank you, sir. $25 million.

Thanks for nothing, you string sucking old loon!

Thanks for the stogies, Pop.

That takes care of that. Huh?

That was good.

That was when I was dating the son of a wealthy string magnate!

That would put a real crimp in our evening, but...

That's interesting.

That's only half a cockroach.

The auction of our one item,

The auction?

The bidding stands at $5 million.

The bidding stands at $6 million.

The bidding stands at $25 million. Do I have an advance?

The big one.

The ceramic egg! Ooh hoo hoo.

The factory has been retrofitted to manufacture cheese based products.

The financially challenged always say that.

The guys who clean up call him that.

The law of averages says one has to nab him.

The missing LaRue.

The renovation was exhausting but ultimately rewarding.

The rumoured design completed before his committal isn't a rumour.

The son of a bitch ate it!

The string. Pop's lucky string!

The trap snapped itself, the olive flew off, and he ate it.

The water was just a...

Then, boom! Sayonara, mouse.

There he goes!

There you go again! Blaming everything else but yourself.

There. Let him have it.

There's no air in the middle class, Lars. I can't breathe here.

There's no danger of that.

There's some paperwork I need you to fill out.

These pigeons are ripe for plucking.

They threw in the cardboard lady too.

Think of the auction! For God's sake!

Think of the money! They'll cut our price if there's bullet holes.

This game is over!

This is The Omen with whiskers. Nostradamus didn't see this.

To my brother Lars...

To one of those big conglomerates.

To serve the mayor after his re election?

Two thousand twine threaders, gleaming under real lights.

Uh, $5 million for the missing LaRue.

Uh, hi, Maury. W we need a cat.

Uh, please, please.

Uh, the sheikh bids $5 million. Thank you, sir. I have $5 million.

Uh, what are you doing?

Uh, you, you must be Mrs Lars Smuntz?

Um...

Unsanitary creature.

Us over with a feather. We...

Vegetarian snack. I own... (Chewing)

Vinny? Hi, Vinny. Oh, I'm glad I can call you Vinny.

Wait a minute. Is it worth anything?

Wait a minute. Look at this date. 1876.

Wait! Wait just a minute!

Wait. Wait a minute. Stop. Stop!

Wait. You can't go. W we have to go through all these papers.

Was this an accident or murder...?

We are about to start the auction.

We are hopin' you're smarter.

We can make enough string to meet our orders.

We don't have the time or energy for this.

We may have to defer your next paycheque or...or two.

We saved your hat.

We were about to gas him again.

We were hoping for an older cat. One with experience.

We won't be seeing that... Mouse!

We'd keep you on as a consultant, with a huge salary and hefty pension.

We'll call you if we get any leads.

We'll have to find money someplace else.

We're in sort of a hurry. I wanted to warn you about this mouse.

We're in the midst of an extensive renovation.

We've been trying to catch this menace all week.

We've turned a corner. Our future is staring us in the face.

Welcome to Chez Ernie.

Well, he was able to borrow $50,000 against it.

Well, his Parma Charnel House went for six...

Well, I bought a present for ya, buddy.

Well, I'm, uh, glad you asked.

Well, if you will excuse me, I have to check on my crepes.

Well, look at him. He's pathetic.

Well, shall we start the bidding at $1 million?

Well, the, uh, workers... didn't react very positively.

Well, you got some great stuff...

Well, you're gonna have to kill, kill, kill for it.

Wh... Oh!

What an honour it is to have you in my humble bistro.

What are you doing, ya stupid nitwit?

What are you doing?

What are you, crazy? The only thing you haven't hit so far is the mouse!

What do you say?

What was going to happen next.

What was that?

What?

What? Oh.

What's that?

What's that? Horse?

What's this? A slight calcium deficiency.

When I say, turn it on full blast. We'll flush him out.

When my father left this extraordinary house

Which one of you palateless sheep sent my sandwich back?

Whoa! Never touch that!

Whoa! You got him!

Why are you wearing a pink overcoat?

Why don't they eat out of a trough?

Will your recent triple heart bypass affect your campaign strategy?

With a cockroach and everything?

With a... hmm...

Works on mice too.

Wow! I can't believe Pops never told us about this house.

Wow. I almost can't believe it.

Wow. I almost feel sorry for the little fella.

Yeah, I guess we did.

Yeah, I was on top once too.

Yeah, uh, go get 'im, boy.

Yeah, yeah, it's a shame. But who'd be stupid enough, right?

Yeah! A vicious cat, difficult to love.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! You got asbestos, all right!

Yeah? Well, I guess I have something to confess too.

Yeah.

Yeah. Double. Double!

Yeah. Thanks for stopping by.

Yes. Listen to me. A single vermin can bring you down.

Yes. Well, I like to use both sides of my brain.

Yes...You hit the piano! You hit the piano...

You and Pop were always running something through your fingers.

You are the intruder.

You boys put on quite a shindig here.

You call off the auction...now...

You can anticipate their moves.

You can even keep that worthless factory.

You carry it the first 50 years, I'll take it the next.

You don't have that kind of money.

You don't make string by twining two strands together any more.

You have mice.

You have no discernible talents. How can you ignore that?

You have to know what they want...need.

You have to spend money to make money.

You have to think like a mouse.

You know what this is? I'll tell ya.

You know, I've got big plans!

You know, it would be very, very sad...

You look like you could use some warming up.

You may have had a concussion.

You quit paying your mortgage.

You said mice like Gouda.

You see these shoes?

You see, I want to turn this into the string cheese factory of tomorrow...

You see, the truth is...

You should be our spokesperson.

You shut up! You...

You spent our last money on a tub!

You tell me how I'm going to do this.

You think I didn't have ambitions of my own in my life?

You think you're a success! Huh?

You want a home, don't you? You wanna get out of here.

You, uh...you could have KNOCKED...

You... You used to love string!

You'll have to excuse me.

You're giving him a little too much credit.

You're not doin' it right.

You've never listened to me before!

Your father acquired it many years ago as payment of a debt.

Zeppco is willin' to buy you out...

Zeppco was interested in your factory but your father refused to sell.

22 million going once...

42 LaRue houses. 42. I want to make it 43.

911 call. No voice, but we heard screaming in the background.

0915. Evidence found.

'Once a local...' Ernie, you're on TV!

'We go live to Leslie Reinhart.' Sorry.

"M my collection of spoons." (Clattering)

(All shrieking) 12. 13. 14. 15.

(Angry muttering) So we can pay the mortgage.

(Cat screeching) Here, boy.

(Distant meowing) That one's cute.

(Ernie) There he goes. Shoot! Shoot!

(Growling) "Catzilla"?

(Growling) Yes, you are. And ugly. Extremely.

(Lars) I promise. So, you were sayin'?

(Lars) Keep sucking! (Rumbling)

(Scratching) E Ernie?

(Scratching) How can you sleep through that?

(Screaming) (Ernie) Oh, no!

(Sighing) Well...

(Snap) (Gasps)

(Snap) (Yowling)

(Snapping) (Yowling)

(Thump) Whoa! Uh! I felt something.

(Thunderclap) (Screaming)

(Together) A house? Yes, 5120 Nortondale.

(Together) LaRues? No, but he would love them.

(Yowling) You're a stupid cat, aren't you?

$5 million. (Hysterical laughing)

$7 million. $7 million. Thank you.

$16 million from Ernie Smuntz. No!

$18 million. $18 million from the lady.

$1200? Well, how long do we have?

17 million! $17 million. Thank you, sir.

20 millions. 20 million. Can I hear 21?

25 millions. $25 million dollars.

A cockroach! (Shocked whispering)

A week it is. Great!

Aah... Ow! D D D D D D D.

Ah, bonjour! How does it feel...

Ah, hakuna matata. This crepe...c'est magnifique.

Ah! What are you doing? I'm breaking it in half.

All right! What is it?

And you know why? Why?

Any advance on seven? (Laughs)

Any advance? 22 million. That's my last offer.

are from Northern Turkey. Oh!

Auction? Auction, yes.

Betrayed by my own brother! Betrayal?

Careful, careful! Don't touch me. You'll snap it.

Charles Lyle LaRue. Charles Lyle LaRue?

Come on, Ernie... Stand back!

Come on, put the gun down. I'll blow his furry head off.

Come on. We got work to do. Two days till pay day, my friend.

Come on. You loved string. I didn't love string!

Did you hear that? $600,000. Phew.

Did you see him? I thought so. Yes!

Did you see where it went? It can't go far.

Do you see him? Yeah, I see him.

Ernie! What's the matter?

Ernie! Yeah. Just a sec.

Ernie? Not now.

Ernie. Ernie. (Groans)

Exactly. Twine is yesterday. Cord is today.

Forever. Sure, Pop, sure.

Glass of rainwater, please. The leading collector of LaRues.

Good luck. Wait! Where are you going?

Guilt by accusation. No capers.

Half that factory is mine. And half is mi...

Have you figured it out yet? Shut up.

Have you got it yet? I'm not sure.

Have you lost weight? Oh, l...

He ate the string. What?

He doesn't have a killer instinct. (Purring)

He's a LaRue connoisseur. Guilty as charged.

He's delirious. I am not their brother!

He's not listening any more. Oh.

Hello. Hello.

Here, Ernie, I got it. I can see that.

Hey, isn't that suit charcoal? No.

Hold on tight, I'll get it out. (Unzips)

Hold your end up higher. I am.

I can do that better! (Crying)

I can't just hit him. Why not?

I didn't know you knew our lawyer. It's just an expression.

I don't have any sisters! Are you OK? I came when I heard.

I hate you! And I hate you!

I l... What are you waiting for?

I l'll get a flashlight. Hurry!

I see. This is our new lactose free line.

I think it's working! Yeah.

I think so! I think you may be! (Laughs)

I trust you slept well. Oh! Like a baby.

I'll give you one and a half. I have $1.5 million. Two?

I'm glad you kept it. He, uh, he wanted us to share it.

I'm sorry. Are you family? Yes, we are sisters.

I've got a date with the mayor. (Thunder rolls)

It doesn't help to start crying. (Shrieking)

It wasn't easy, but we made it. Mm hmm.

It's black. It's grey.

It's black. Black. Grey. Grey!

It's bold yet subtle. Classical yet non traditional.

It's just a mouse. What?

It's just a mouse. Never mind. (Straining)

Juice! Got it!

Look... Shh!

Luxury is timeless. How much, Ernie?

Mouse hunting. All cats are good mousers.

Mr Ernest Smuntz. (Applause)

My sons... (Whispers) Ernie.

No, no! Don't! Oh!

No! I want you to share it. No?

No. I want you to have it. Fine, I'll take it!

Not as much as I hate you! Yeah?

Now, can I hear a million? A million!

Oh, hello. Nice to see you again.

Oh, my God! Caesar! What happened?

Oh, no! Yes! You remember.

Oh, that's too bad. Yeah, well, don't worry about me.

Oh! Oh, you little bastard. We'll take him.

Oh... Bon appetit.

Ohh! (Both laughing maniacally)

OK, Ernie. I got a light. Great.

Ooh! $4 million from the gentleman.

People are eager to start bidding. What? The bidding?

Please, he's not well. Did you kill the mouse?

Pop's lucky string. I guess we got him.

Promise. I promise, Pop.

Quick! Get him out of there! He's halfway to the harbour by now.

Really? Mm hmm.

Remember how close we were as kids? No.

See you in hell, mouse! (Laughing)

Shall we? Yes.

She'll be back. I... Would you look at them?

Six million. Thank you, sir.

Sure. And turn up the morphine drip.

Sure. And turn up the morphine drip.

Sure. Of course. Thank you.

Ten millions! $10 million. Can I have 11?

Thank you, Mr Smuntz. (Scattered applause)

The bidding! All right. Thank you.

The colour doesn't matter! Oww!

The house was in terrible disrepair (Murmuring)

the missing LaRue. (Applause)

The money? Yeah, the money, the moola.

The raisins are a nice touch. Good, aren't they?

They're blueprints. Wow!

This is how accidents happen! (Laughing)

Two million! I have $2 million.

W well, he's a living thing. Not for long. Gimme that!

Wait! Now, may I hear $4 million?

We are hair models from Belgium. Belgium. How exotic.

we don't actually have any money. (Muttering)

We'll make $700,000, $800,000 easy. Man, you're smart!

Well, where'd he go? Maybe it snapped by itself.

Well... May I call you Leslie? Of course.

What are you doing? Answering your prayers.

What are you doing? Uh, uh, uh...nothing!

What is that? That's quality control.

What is this? It's the...

What is this? No. It's the first I've heard...

What? I don't hear anything. Shh shh shh. That.

What's he doing? I don't know.

What's this? We're foreclosing on your house.

What's with the string? I've had it 60 years.

Why didn't you tell me you saw him? I didn't, but I found this.

Wish us luck! Hello, April.

Wow! Did you feel that? What?

You are not. Don't worry about me.

You asleep? I was.

You could fit through here, right? What? I guess so.

You didn't do anything wrong. But society likes to persecute.

You haven't talked much lately. Yeah.

You know? Oh, monsieur Ernie...

You mean "ex wife"? Not quite yet.

You should have weighed him. I'm sorry.

You'll get it... Don't talk to me!

You're doing a wonderful job. (Tin rolling)

You're smarter than you look. (Together) Thank you.

'And once the hottest restaurant...

'and the world changed for many people.

'at Our Lady of Sorrows Hospital.

'Chez Ernie is scheduled for demolition.'

'Consider our proposal withdrawn.'

'Doctors say the cause of death is...

'especially after your brother already turned down our offer.

'heart failure due to the mayor's culinary disaster.

'lf this tragedy has a villain it is Ernie Smuntz.

'Mayor McKrinkle died at 4:30pm,

'We do not appreciate being treated this way,

'We waited in the square for an hour, but you never showed.

"A world without string is chaos."

"And thus it is my dying wish...

"but something infinitely more valuable.

"half box of Cuban cigars..."

"I also bequeath to you my personal effects,

"including my ceramic egg,

"that my two sons run Smuntz String together."

"The future of string...itself."

(All screaming)

(Angry shouting)

(Auctioneer) Ladies and gentleman, all the carpets and tapestries...

(Banging)

(Banging)

(Bell ringing, buzzing, hissing)

(Bloodthirsty screaming)

(Both grunting and groaning)

(Both shrieking)

(Both whimpering and muttering)

(Both) Again?

(Both) Hello.

(Brakes screeching)

(Caesar) 'Put that down. What is that?' (Yelling)

(Caesar) 1300 hours. I've activated the Squeak Seeker 2000.

(Cat yowling)

(Cheering and yelling)

(Chiming)

(Chuckling) Yeah.

(Chugging)

(Clicking teeth and squeaking)

(Confused shouts)

(Crashing)

(Dialling tone)

(Door creaks)

(Electricity crackling)

(Ernie grunts)

(Ernie, laughing) You killed him!

(Ernie) 'After the beep, start talking.'

(Ernie) A Jacuzzi tub!

(Ernie) Couldn't your workers forfeit their salaries?

(Ernie) Don't worry about that mouse,

(Ernie) I'm gonna build a swimming pool...

(Ernie) Ladies, your hair is positively biblical!

(Ernie) Lars, do you smell something?

(Ernie) Let me see. Let me see!

(Ernie) My goodness, what a treasure. What a legacy.

(Ernie) My own chain of restaurants.

(Ernie) Oh, relax. It's cheese.

(Ernie) Pickles, arugula and capers.

(Ernie) This is the kind of house he'd have.

(Ernie) Uh, when Quincy Thorpe of the, uh...

(Ernie) What a dump.

(Ernie) When I'm in the kitchen, I cook.

(Exhales)

(Explosion, shouting)

(Faintly) Cars, coats, china. She loves china.

(Fan blades whooshing)

(Father) I heard that.

(Footsteps, door creaking)

(French accent) Ah, monsieur le maire, Madame maire,

(Gasping) There he is!

(Groaning)

(Growling)

(Growling)

(Growling)

(Growling)

(Growling)

(Grunting)

(Hammering)

(Hissing)

(Horn honking)

(Knocks)

(Lars sighing) Don't you think this is a little...much?

(Lars, echoing) April can have anything she's ever wanted!

(Lars) $1200?

(Lars) Ask your boss for an advance. Pay him back later.

(Lars) Can you see him?

(Lars) Don't worry, the workers will help us.

(Lars) G g get him!

(Lars) I've got you now!

(Lars) lf only Pop could've seen this house!

(Lars) Look! H He's still breathing!

(Lars) Oh, yeah, this'll get him!

(Lars) Ooh, ooh, ooh. Keep sucking!

(Lars) Put it on carefully. (Ernie) I am.

(Lars) Put that thing down. Whoa!

(Lars) There's no need for violence!

(Lars) Well, these are all kittens.

(Lars) What are you gonna do?

(Lars) You know, it isn't fair to blame you.

(Lars) You sure this tub fits with the house?

(Laughing maniacally)

(Laughing wickedly)

(Laughing)

(Laughing)

(Laughing)

(Laughs)

(Liquid rumbling)

(lndistinct grumbling)

(Machinery starting)

(Man) "I leave you not just a model factory...

(Man) Four million.

(Man) Smuntz String is a relic of history.

(Maury) Find the one you want and I'll spay or neuter it myself.

(Mayor's wife) Not again!

(Meowing)

(Meows)

(Muffled groaning, crashing) 'That tickles!'

(Notes playing)

(Panting)

(Panting) But, uh, that's two days!

(Panting) Ooh!

(Phone ringing)

(Rattling)

(Reporters chattering)

(Rewinding)

(Ringing bell)

(Rings bell)

(Roaring)

(Roars)

(Sad meow)

(Scratching)

(Scratching)

(Scratching)

(Screaming, banging)

(Screaming)

(Screaming)

(Screaming)

(Screaming)

(Screaming)

(Screaming)

(Screaming)

(Screaming)

(Screaming)

(Screaming)

(Screams)

(Screams)

(Screams)

(Shouting)

(Shouting)

(Sighing)

(Sighs)

(Sighs)

(Sighs) It was a steal at $1200.

(Sighs) Not bad.

(Sighs) Oh, it's a piece of st string.

(Sighs) The air's not so thin at the top.

(Sighs) We made love in a way I've only ever seen in nature films.

(Sighs) We made love in a way I've only ever seen in nature films.

(Silence)

(Slurping)

(Snarling)

(Sniffing)

(Sniffs)

(Snoring)

(Snoring)

(Sobs) God!

(Spitting)

(Squeaking)

(Squeaking)

(Squeaking)

(Squelch)

(Straining)

(Strangled groans)

(Surprised meow)

(Tapping echoes)

(Thud)

(Together) Almost! (Laughs)

(Together) Oh, thank you.

(TV) 'ln a few moments, the joy of the holidays was shattered...

(Vinny) 'Mr Smuntz, this is Vinny from Zeppco calling.

(Whimpering)

(Whimpering)

(Whispering) 5120 Nortondale.

(Whispering) Ernie! Ernie!

(Yelling)

(Yelling)

(Yelling)

(Yelling)

(Yells)

(Yells)

(Yells)

(Yowling)

(Yowling)

(Yowling)

# lf only in my dreams #

$8 million going once, $8 million going twice...

$8 million?! You should have taken the cheque!

$11 million from the gentleman from Japan.

$21 million from the gentleman.

$25 million going once,

$25 million going twice...

$50,000.

$500,000 from the gentleman from Japan.

$1200...