Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead Edit

A child you hired.

A few more paychecks, I'll be able to put it back and no one will know, right?

A truck is blocking the slow lane.

Ah yes. Sweet or dry?

Alaska

Alaska Alaska container.

Alaska spill.

All I said was she's been in a slump 'cause of the backstabber at her office.

All right, all right. I'll be right there.

All right, bye.

All right, go get that metal tape measure out of the garage.

All right. Bye.

All right. Gentlemen, you've got it.

All right. I'd like a Martini & Rossi on the rocks.

All the guys that I've dated have been boys.

Am I cutting in front of you? Are you faxing?

And ask me to go to Carmel with you this weekend.

And besides, you're so overqualified for entry level, it's ridiculous.

And consulting with him on budget estimates.

And Elvis a new chew toy.

And fax this to New York for me. Don't feel overwhelmed.

And go sit behind a desk for eight hours and miss Oprah every day of my vacation.

And I don't want your friends hanging around my house.

And I really wanna go.

And I won't have to interface with anybody, and get tan.

And I'll convince him that mandatory school uniforms...

And I'm sorry.

And if it doesn't, I was kidding.

And lie in the sand and rub oil on myself...

And my projections amorphous hub stuff.

And no one has to know she was our sitter.

And no one's gonna hire a teenager to do anything that isn't disgusting.

And Rose loves her. She's not going to care.

And some savings and pension plan.

And that is our presentation for this evening. Thankyou for coming.

And the research for the school presentation done.n

And the woman responsible for all you're going to view tonight.

And then you're old or older.

And then you're stuck in this plan because you decided, you know?

And this fridge stocked with Diet Sprite and Tab, and I have a great view.

And this is Franklin, our head designer.

And time for little trollops to go home!

And we gave it some serious thought.

And we'll sit down and discuss this like adults.

And what if they're not here? Why are you makin' this so complicated?

And when Beatrice from Personnel calls, she's a really pushy broad.

And when I get those figures ready, I'll give you a buzz...

And you can run up here and fetch them, all right?

And you'd much rather be my executive assistant.

And your room looks like a disaster area

And, everyone, the highlight of our fashion extravaganza.

Another happy delivery.

Anytime.

Anyway, I guess now that I know the truth

Anyway, I have my own office...

Anyway, the girl grunion, she comes and lays her eggs in the sand.

Are hand airbrushed on fuchsia spandex.

Are necessary for the safety of our schoolchildren.

Are you doing something illegal? Are you workin' for the mob?

Are you seein' someone else, or what? 'Cause that's what it sounds like.

Are you talking about us having sex?

Are you with me?

As a matter of fact, they complimented me...

As the manufacturer of quality uniforms, but times, they are a changin'.

At least I have enough to cover what we spent from petty cash.

At least it gives you some extra cash.

At least until college

Awesome.

Back then it was safe. But times, they are a changin

Banquet halls are so impersonal

Basically, you're the hub of our communication network.

Beautiful Belgian waffles. Julia made 'em on her show yesterday.

Because. I've had a very rough 37 years and I need a break

Becky is our Boy Scout. She's wearing a Boy Scout's uniform.

Being an executive administrative assistant, you can figure that out.

Believe me.

Besides, she needs the growing experience a lot more than I do.

Better bring some bucks home tomorrow 'cause we're totally out of food.

Better get your ass out there, Mrs. Crandell.

Bitch.

Bitchin'!

Bravo. You really know how to delegate responsibility.

Breakfast is served..

Bryan is wearing a Clown Dog uniform...

But for now, why don't you just go to your room?

But I guess that's only on the savings and loan commercials

But I should have been with him, taking care of him.

But I think I'm going to try college.

But I want these people out of my property.

But if that interests you, it can be arranged.

But it's like once you decide on something, it's all planned out.

But please, don't do anything you know I'd be against.

But she can't afford to send you to Europe With some friends for graduation?

But the recipe calls for shrimp, so I need some more cash.

But the void's getting by.

But there's money in here for groceries and some spending money for the kids.

But they're all little boys pretending to be men, right?

But tonight, I think I'll stop letting him try and persuade me.

But wasn't that your car I saw at Clown Dog? Whitewalls and stuff?

But what about everything else?

But you forgot one very big thing.

But you promised

By the end of lunch, we'll probably be sharing our intimate histories...

By the way, I'm Rose Lindsay, Senior Vice President of Operations

Bye

Bye bye. Would you all please excuse us for a minute?

Bye, Elvis.

Bye, everybody. Listen to Mrs. Sturak.

Bye, sweetheart. Be good.

Bye, sweetie.

Bye. Sue Ellen, right?

Call an ambulance? Call the cops? I don't know.

Call the cops.

Can I help?

Can't you see I'm in the middle of a date?

Carolyn and I both pretty much figured out what's been going on.

Cathy brought it by. Seems she's been covering for Sue Ellen, doing her work.

Cathy, thank you so much.

Check it out. Elvis, I'm gonna take you higher.

Cleans 'em down to a shine.

Come help!

Come on, kids. Let's go. Chop, chop.

Come on! Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Bouncing is an ageless pastime.

Come on. Drop it. Stop acting like Henry VIII.

Complement this carefree and spirited look with the girl...

Convince them to give us more time so we can keep working?

Cooperate...

Costs are up, overhead is high, sales are down.

Could you hurry up?

Crandell house? We got your home entertainment center.

Cynthia, you're my moon goddess.

Darling.

Design school or something. I don't know. I still have a lot to learn.

Did he just finish reading Dianetics?

Did you burn something?

Did you get stuck finishing the fat vats?

Dinner, movies, jazz clubs, the symphony.

Dishes are done, man.

Do me a favor, would you?

Do people always tell you How young you look young?

Do you ...

Doesn't look like Julia's.

Doesn't matter what it is you always say...

Don't be rude to anybody.

Don't mention it.

Don't spit on anybody.

Don't wander off because I want you to meet my boss.

Don't you think that they're kind of plain, kind of boring?

Downstairs are the designers...

Dr.. Louise Westheimer..

Dude, that was a superior party. Superior eats.

Dude!

Due to a receding profit margin.

Earth to Melissa

Eat shit!

Either the scenario is that you want to politely thank me for the roses...

Everything's gonna be great when you're gone.

Excuse me? Are you serious?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Where do you think you're going?

Far out!

Fine.

Finish the Happy Fat vats yourself.

Finish the presentation.

First and fifteenth of every month. Is that it?

First of all, the name tags have gotta go.

For 12 years General Apparel West has enjoyed a solid reputation...

For God's sakes, you're a Vassar gal.

Forget it. I ruined the moment.

Forgot to put on a happy face.

Frankly, it's not up to the students to decide.

Fry you suckers.

Fuck.

G.A.W.'s history.

General Apparel West is one of 32 subdivisions of ChemTech America...

Get going there.

Get out of here.

Give me a break

Go get them, big man.

Go on.Just do it.

Go to hell

Go to your room

God is definitely pissed off at me.

God, I feel terrible.

God, I really need to get away.

God, that's cold!

God, this place is so disgusting.

God, you take these things so personally.

Good evening.

Good moment.

Good night

Good tray. Good tray. All right.

Gosh, Sue Ellen.

Graduate.

Great. Gus, hi.

Great. Thanks. I'm going to go glow in my office.

Great. Why don't you go up to my room and change?

Grow up, Carolyn.

Guard it with your life, and leave receipts for whateveryou take.

Gus has been trying to talk me into this wild, dirty weekend in Santa Barbara...

Gus has sort of a little crush on me.

Guys, what do you say?

Have a great weekend. See you Monday, 8:00 sharp.

Have him take one of those if he has any pain.

Have you ever had a 48 hour orgasm?

He goes out of his way to bring me lunch, all right?

He had a little accident, but everything is taken care of.

He sent those roses to me.

He wants her to see his sheep ranch.

He's been coming on to you?

Hello, dear.

Hello, Melissa. No, thanks. Not tonight.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Yes, this is Mrs. Crandel.

Help! Somebody help me!

Help. We need money. We have no food.

Helping Melissa with her fastball. Being a role model forZach.

Her pink high top sneakers are laced up her tangerine tights.

Her whistle earrings and necklace and black baseball cap...

Here are your messages.

Here is a normal waiter's uniform, but I was thinking of changing the color.

Here's another one.

Hey, babe. Who's the void in Lindsey's office?

Hey, Bobby

Hey, boss lady, creole mushroom?

Hey, get out.

Hey, look, I'm kidding. Maybe I gave you the wrong idea.

Hey, look. I don't have all day.

Hey, Nicole

Hey, no problem, twisted sister.

Hey, slow down. You're moving too fast for me.

Hey, who are you? Where's that other broad, Mona?

Hey! I was watching that!

Hey. I was kidding.

Hi, Mom

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Mommy.

Hi. Are you a temp?

Hi. I'm Cathy.

Hi. I'm Sue Ellen.

Hi. Thanks for coming.

Hold on.

Hold on. I'll be there in a minute.

Holy shit!

Holy shit!

Home run! Way to go!

Honey, I couldn't leave you kids all alone.

Hot.

How about a garage sale?

How are the cost estimates for the superintendent? He needs them today.

How are you doin', Mom? Yeah.

How are you? Are the kids okay?

How come you gotta go?

How could you do this? You would never steal from Mom.

How do you know this woman is a backstabber?

How do you Tzny Tsttiay escape From all this anyway

How humiliating. I love it.

How is he? What happened? How do you feel, honey? Are you okay?

How much did Mom leave us?

How should I know? I've never done this before.

How's Australia?

How's the scrubba dub dubbing going?

Hub

Hungry?

I I gotta go, Mom.

I always thought that my parents had this big college fund for me.

I am doing everything, and I'm trying to get ready for a date.

I am never trusting you again. I specifically said no parties.

I am not working to feed your scummy friends.

I am really sorry.

I am the executive administrative assistant...

I am too.

I applied for a receptionist job.

I appreciate you.

I bought a pair of boots and a magazine! You bought a home entertainment center?

I brought this Jell O mold just in case you needed one.

I brought up the cohabitation topic recently.

I brought up the cohabitation topic recently.

I can do anything. I'm a free woman

I can get a job at a clothing store.

I can go to the beach, I can stay out as late as I want to.

I can't be the hub of your communication network.

I can't believe you let this happen to him.

I can't believe you're doing this to me. A baby sitter?

I can't even vote yet.

I can't handle this anymore.

I can't right now. I'm on an important phone call.

I can't stand her, so do me a favor. You be my assistant.

I can't stand that conniving little snot.

I can't. I got a date with Swell's friend Nicole.

I can't. I've got work.

I changed the name, and I'm adding some glamorous fashion stuff.

I could have planned my dinner better.

I couldn't fit it in my schedule.

I date other women.

I did not embezzle it. I borrowed it.

I didn't get a chance to go to the store...

I didn't kill her. She died in her sleep.

I don't believe this.

I don't even know what an executive administrator assistant does.

I don't even know what it is, but I feel better around you than anyone else.

I don't know ifit was some kind of communication meltdown or what.

I don't know why, but she's keeping things from me.

I don't know. I guess I'm just stalling.

I don't know. I was thinking I might go to class more.

I don't know. Kids like to wear stuff that's them.

I don't see there being any dilemma with that at all.

I don't think it's fair

I don't wanna hearyou've given this nice old lady a hard time.

I don't want him to know that...

I don't want New York to know anything about it. They'd never approve funding.

I expect a complete report tomorrow morning on the life of the aardvark.

I feel stupid. We are too old to bounce.

I fell off the roof.

I figure I'll keep savin' up for it anyway.

I gotta get out of here.

I gotta go.

I guess you're right. It was a long time ago.

I had a feeling. None of these companies ever heard of her. I'm going to Rose.

I had it delivered. Do you have a problem with that?

I have been working. I've had a very rough day.

I have had a very rough night.

I have no money. I have no boyfriend.

I have that for you.

I have to get up at 5:30 every morning, so I can beat rush hour traffic...

I have to stay and redirect all the incompetents who are coming up here...

I have to tell you. I kind of have a problem.

I haven't quite decided on that yet.

I just don't think that kids are gonna want to wear uniforms.

I just remembered, I hate baseball.

I just wanna know what it is you do all day, that's all.

I just wish that you could respect my privacy.

I knew she was a phony. I did not think she was a thief.

I know how that goes.

I know you can. Concentrate.

I know you're just getting over a divorce.

I know. I appreciate it a lot. Really.

I know. My timing is off.

I lied to everyone about everything...

I lied to you. I'm a terrible person.

I love that they're wearing our uniforms. Fabulous touch.

I love you too. Okay.

I mean, come on. This car's a classic.

I mean, I like this part, but Oh, God.

I mean, I love it. Love it.

I mean, ifyou're seein' some other guy, you don't have to do all this.

I might take some Home Ec.

I need a copy of the Bob's Big Boy account figures.

I need more money

I need to fax something. How would I do that?

I needed a new bike, and I got Walter the new edition of Super.Password...

I never asked you to whisk the couch.

I pretty much did.

I promised Sue Ellen I'd do it for her. Would you see that she gets it?

I really care about us. There's something about you.

I really don't think I can live like this.

I really think you should read it.

I saw Mom give it to Mrs. Sturak.

I say next batch we do more mocha Swiss Amaretto ones.

I see nothing but dollar signs

I should've been nicer to her.

I should've cooperated.

I stole her résumé from Personnel to check her out.

I submitted my résumé, but it wasn't good enough.

I surrender.

I think it's another guy.

I think she likes Jacob better.

I think that she'd want it this way, don't you?

I think the scenario here is that you're a sleazeball.

I think we should measure her first.

I thought you might like to know this all rests in the hands of a child...

I thought you were getting, like, over a grand.

I told you to talk to her. Didn't want you to send her to the glue factory.

I told you. We have to economize.

I understand why. I want you to know I'm not taking this lightly.

I understand. Anytime you want to come back to G.A.W.

I want this place spick and span by Saturday, or I'm turning us all in.

I want you to start doing some heavy duty explaining.

I was entertaining some friends last night, and we had the munchies.

I was going to put it back after my next paycheck, but we can't afford all this.

I was just gonna see if Rose wanted to grab some lunch in the cafeteria.

I was looking for you. Great house.

I was wondering how you would get that...

I wasn't there. I should have been. I mean, not on the roof.

I went ahead and fed the kids. I worked all day on that casserole.

I would like to keep that thermostat at 76, okay?

I'd ask how old you are, but most women don't really like that.

I'd love to smile and work with raw meat."

I'd respect your privacy ifyou weren't so secretive.

I'd tell you more ifyou didn't wanna know so much.

I'll authorize it, okay?

I'll be damned.

I'll be right there. Will you please tell him I will be right there?

I'll be up there in a few seconds, okay?

I'll call him in a few weeks when all this is over.

I'll call you later.

I'll do it later, Mom! I promise

I'll do it later.

I'll do the dishes.

I'll give her the message. Bye.

I'll just tell 'em I hired outside the company.

I'll keep working. I'll work overtime.

I'll miss you.

I'll pickyou up at work around 6:00?

I'm a fast learner. I'll catch on.

I'm a whiz on the computer...

I'm an embezzler. They're going to throw me in prison.

I'm Bruce. I'm head inventory clerk. Why?

I'm Bryan.

I'm getting get rid of her for two whole months you guys

I'm going to believe some kid.

I'm going to miss you too.

I'm going to miss you.

I'm going to miss you.

I'm gonna get you, sucker!

I'm gonna need biweekly reports from you.

I'm in a meeting. Have Bob Barker help you.

I'm in between important meetings. I'm so sorry I disturbed you, Kenny.

I'm innocent.

I'm interfacing with New York at 3:00, and I have a report due today.

I'm letting him cool off.

I'm looking for Walter Crandell.

I'm Mrs. Sturak I babysitter

I'm Mrs. Sturak. I'm the baby sitter.

I'm not going to give up. I'll just economize.

I'm not gonna.

I'm not real clear about what's been going on around here...

I'm not supposed to be a career mom.

I'm not sure what I want my life to be yet.

I'm not working at the big top from hell for pocket money.

I'm only 17. I have a curfew. I just finished high school.

I'm out of rumaki.

I'm outta here.

I'm really going to miss her.

I'm really not ready for any of this.

I'm right on top of that, Rose.

I'm sick and tired of not being appreciated.

I'm so sorry

I'm so sorry

I'm sorry if I acted like a bitch the other night at Clown Dog...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm stuck here, cooking and cleaning and mowing.

I'm stuck with the bills.

I'm Sue Ellen. I work for Rose. Can I help you?

I'm supposed to register at City College.

I'm sure you're all on the edge ofyour seats wondering what we have in store.

I've been at it all night. Check these out.

I've got seven meetings set up next week alone.

I've got some extra leftovers from my dinner deliveries, so ifyou want 'em

I've had about enough ofyour lip, missy.

I've never been to Santa Barbara.

If you didn't get the money, why'd you call?

If you want to get into Vassar, I could pull some strings.

Ifwe maintained separate space.

Ifyou want Are you familiar with the Q.E.D. report?

In bold black and turquoise stripes, black tights and high top sneakers.

In fuchsia, purple and teal, hand airbrushed silk with matching caps.

In Minneapolis, an 1 1 th grader beat up a schoolmate...

In your dreams, babe.

Instead of going straight to Personnel like they are supposed to.

Is he your son too?

Is that everything?

Is this for me?

Is your Mom like leaving for like months?

It has been really slow.

It was petty cash money. You were spending petty cash money.

It was your turn to dump the trash.

It wasn't really your money either. You embezzled it.

It wasn't your money. It was my money.

It'll speed up any boy's pulse.

It's a clean break. It should heal nicely.

It's a painful memory. I don't like to talk about it.

It's a rat race, and it sucks.

It's a special occasion.

It's all legit.

It's always ...

It's funny.

It's just my parents trying to get rid of me for two months.

It's like all of a sudden, anything you do means that's your life.

It's like, I don't know if I want oceanography to be my life.

It's nice, but where did you get the money for something so state of the art?

It's not fair. Baby sitters suck.

It's okay. Come here.

It's okay. You can do it.

It's ours! Go back and get it from the old hag!

It's show time.

It's the last food we got.

It's the lifting that gets me.

It's time for little girls to dress like little girls.

It's too soon. It must be you.

Jill, our referee, is wearing an oversized silk jersey...

Juices start flowing. What's to hide?

Just a little accident.

Just do one thing at a time.

Just forget about her. She's not worth it.

Just forget it, okay? I'm sorry I cared.

Just leave a list for Carolyn. She'll stock it for you, okay?

Just so I can take care ofyou guys and put food on the damn table.

Just tell her I hired you. And find out about your medical benefits and pension.

Just try to do the best you can.

Just walking out like that.

KDJI news time is 5:30 A.M., and ifthis isyour. wake up call...

Keep an eye on Sue Ellen.

Kenny will watch Zack, Melissa will watch Walter, And I'll have Mom's car.

Kenny, c'mon give me a break

Kenny, come downstairs. You're not gonna believe this.

Kenny, could you turn the music down?

Kenny, Get back here

Kenny, wake up.

Kenny, why don't you save your last three brain cells?

Ladies and gentlemen, General Apparel West proudly presents...

Lady, I don't know what your deal is, but you're not here to order us around.

Lard is my life.

Let me get that for you. I'm maitred'.

Let me show you one more thing.

Let's get out of here. I give up.

Let's get together on Monday night. We will have dinner.

Let's go to my place. I'll rip off my mom's MasterCard again.

Let's stop. I'm exhausted, and I'm late to meet Gus.

Listen, can't you call New York?

Listen. They're looking for a receptionist to replace Carolyn.

Little League sign ups are at 11:30.

Liza?

Look at his eyes. Poor dude

Look at me. I'm glowing. The man makes me glow. Am I glowing?

Look, Mrs. Sturak.

Look, Swell. What's up with you, huh?

Look! I screwed up! I'm sorry.

Looking for something, Sue Ellen?

Love you. Bye, honey. Be good, everybody!

Mama Celeste face down, you're sellin' carnations on a freeway off ramp.

Mama Celeste face up, I go to work.

Man your trays.

Man, I'm gonna hole up at Lizard's.

Master the possibilities.

Maybe

Maybe

Maybe go to the Culinary Academy Or some shit like this

Maybe I gave you the wrong idea, but I'm not interested in you.

Maybe I should do something crazy, like sweep her off her feet.

Maybe I'll see you around.

Maybe ifyou'd called and told me you were going to be four hours late...

Maybe she's nice. Why do you have to be so judgmental about her?

Maybe she's trying to make you jealous.

Maybe we'll take 'em. Thanks.

Maybe.

Me and Cynthia are having some problems.

Me too.

Melissa and Zach are beating each other up over the last Sno Ball.

Melissa lunch, Honey

Melissa, Right now.

Melissa, want to come down from there?

Mocha Swiss. Got it.

Mom, can you call us every day?

Mom.

Mow the lawn today, and don't forget the dishes. Bye.

Mrs. Crandell, I'm Dr. Permutter. Here he is.

Mrs. Sturak knows where to reach me.

Mrs. Sturak, are you even listening to me?

My check is only for $735.

My dad is pissed about my report card. I gotta kiss ass a couple more days.

My high school was like a fashion show.

My house is fabulous. We can have it there. It'll be perfect.

My last assistant was only 23 and still wet behind the ears.

My little brother drives the delivery van.

My mom doesn't want us to use her Volvo while she's away.

My mom's out of town, and I have my brothers and sister to feed.

My paycheck's gonna be over $1,000. I'll be able to put it back.

My sister and her boyfriend got extra tickets. Box seats.

My son.

Next thing you know we'll be sharing a cigarette in postcoital bliss.

Next week I'll sit the superintendent of schools down over eggs Florentine...

Next, you get to sc**** the spitballs off the drive through window...

Nicole is wearing a form fitting nurse's uniform with mini hemline.

Nicole, hang on. Why are you wearing name tags?

No prizes.

No problem. I kind of like being a hero.

No way!

No way.

No, don't do that. I'll call you when I get home.

No, everything's great.

No, I ruined it because I talked about it.

No, I'm still organizing my spreadsheet...

No, Mrs. Sturak's not here. She

No, not usually

No, Sue Ellen. Thank you. Really.

No, that's okay.

No, wait. I can't.

No. He's my stepson.

No. I couldn't. It's an improvement.

No. I tied 'em to a red ant hill. Did you get some money?

No. I was just wondering why they would come all this way to bring a chili dog.

No. I'm Sue Ellen. I work for Rose.

Not like us

Not to mention boosting G.A.W. sales. It'll be absolutely perfect.

Not yet. There's a problem.

Nothing. I just know what you mean.

Now just do it.

Now she's kissing up to Gus?

Now, I know we've been over this at least a thousand times...

Now, who would do such a thing?

Obviously our weekend away in Santa Barbara was the turning point for us.

Occasionally...

Of course I can. My family's all gone.

Of course, no nurse would be complete without her stethoscope necklace.

Oh really? Great.

Oh relax, Mom. I'll keep him in Line.

Oh, and don't feel overwhelmed. Just do one thing at a time.

Oh, another thing, and this is very important.

Oh, God, I feel like a teenager.

Oh, God. I don't know.

Oh, God. Nicole, I have to call you back.

Oh, here.

Oh, hi, Carolyn. I'm sick. This is a Q.E.D. report.

Oh, I'm sure everything will be taken care of.

Oh, Lord. We just lost another account.

Oh, Mrs. Sturak?

Oh, my I'm Mrs. Crandell, Walter's mom.

Oh, my God.

Oh, right.

Oh, shit, you're right. Bye, Mom

Oh, wow. Really?

Oh, yeah. The grind.

Okay, I'll get a job. But you gotta stay and watch the kids.

Okay, I'll talk to her. It's time we let her know the rules.

Okay, this is your office. Mine's through the archway.

Okay. Fine.

Okay. Then we'll just do something else.

On behalf of General Apparel West, I'd like to welcome you.

On hiring a teenager to gain market perspective.

One of our nation's leading chemical corporations.

Ooh, in about an hour and a half. I can't wait

Operation Eggs Florentine was a rousing success.

Or go crawling to one of Mom's semi wretched friends?

Or I'll make your summer a living hell!

Or it could be in black and white, turquoise and black or red and black.

Or sleek miniskirts.

Or the new moon

Or we could just have a wild, sweaty fling. What do you think?

Or you burst in here wanting to be impulsive...

Our executive staff and our advertising people.

Our recently named employee of the month...

Our summer of freedom is going to be a winter prison if I don't get some help.

Our warehouse and showroom, and our manufacturing and assembly line.

Out of my way!

Over a rhinestone leather jacket and a pair of Fiorucci jeans.

Please reconsider. I'm offering you a wonderful opportunity.

Please say yes.

Precisely. The Peter Pan syndrome.

Probably can't even hear me.

Probably choked on her whistle.

Problem?

Promise me you'll go register at City College for fall, okay?

Put on a happy face.

Quit your job. Get out while you can.

Reading Gr.een EggsAnd Ham or some shit like that.

Really cooking in her scarf.

Reception. I can't right now.

Relax. I'm looking after things while she's gone. Everything's gonna be fine.

Remember these things? They're great. Bounce with me.

Right

Right about now.

Right Now!

Right? And she has lots of experience.

River Ridge Hospital is on line three. There's an emergency with your son?

Rock and roll!

Rock and roll!

Rose, I have an idea.

Rose, I tried

Rosemary chicken's delicious here. Very tender.

School starts next week. Lazy days.

See, Mr. Eggs

Shades of real intimacy.

She applied for the receptionist job.

She didn't steal from petty cash. She paid for the buyers' shindig.

She had a date.

She matures, she ripens.

She said she didn't have any family, so this is

She went to the yarn store.

She'll be back in a few seconds. I'm here for the receptionist job.

She'll hop the next flight home, and then she'll be in our faces.

She's already dead, you moron!

She's busy right now. Can I take a message? Is this a joke?

She's getting us up at the butt crack of dawn to tidy up the garage.

She's leaving you guys all alone? What about the kids? Hmmm

She's only 17

She's supposed to move up to be my executive administrative assistant.

She's whipping up excitement in her boots. Thank you.

Shirkin' all that parental responsibility.

Shit! I loved that car.

Shit! You're gonna drown! Choke!

Shit.

Shit.

Shut up, Quizzoid. Eat.

Shut up. I am in deep shit.

Since this is the biggest night in G.A.W. history..

So anyway, I'm Fred Kibrick's secretary over in sales.

So do you believe me now? Or are you just going to believe some kid?

So I haven't been too enthusiastic about it.

So ifyou ever have anything for me, just ask.

So ifyou thought we broke up, I guess you thought we were together, huh?

So Mom, takin' off on us like that, huh?

So Swell, when's your Mom leaving for Australia?

So that when you start in, you can just go right through the cake.

So they don't, like, do it together?

So to conduct our presentation, I'd like to introduce our hostess...

So what do you want, a medal?

So you can't really tell, like a MacGyver..

So you guys excited? Dream come true.

So you're Rose's new executive administrative assistant.

So, Bryan, when do the grunion run?

So, did you mean what you said about working things out?

So, how long have you and Rose been together?

So, these are my things. When do I get paid?

Some guy. A mortician.

Something's wrong with the TV antenna.

Sorry to have messed up your plans. Who are these people?

Sorry.

Spell that a little faster. Your number?

Spending quality time with Walter. Doing your party shit!

Spiteful, vindictive machination you have ever concocted.

Start getting updated reports from the department heads and coordinating them.

Stay away from her. She's in one of her Terminator moods.

Step on it!

Stories of our first time.

Strike two!

Such a punk.

Suddenly she's an executive? I don't get it.

Sue Ellen, every girl over 25 should have a cucumber in their house.

Sue Ellen, I need to get this P.O. approved.

Sue Ellen, no.

Sue Ellen, this is Gus Brandon, vice president of marketing.

Sugar and spice!

Sure she's gonna fit?

Sure.

Sure.

Sure. We'll fly. I have my pilot's license.

Swell, how's my baby

Swell, I don't know ifhe's okay. He's in with the doctor. He better be okay.

Swell, it's me. It's Bryan.

Swell, remember.

Swell, what are you doing? Come on!

Swell! You're in big trouble, young lady.

Take care of each other!

Take the baked Brie out of the oven. It will caramelize.

Take the quiz afterward, okay??

Taking care of others' little ones is my whole life.

Talk to you later

Taxes. They took half of my money away for taxes...

Tess, Marcie and Donna are wearing bellhop uniforms...

Thank you for telling me personally.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. I'm Rose Lindsey.

Thanks again.

Thanks for helping out.

Thanks for your advice

Thanks.

Thankyou, everyone, for staying. We're going to pull an all nighter.

That doesn't make up foryour irresponsibility.

That is on...

That'll do it.

That's a shitty thing to say!

That's because Mom never had that much.

That's Kenneth. The guests have started to arrive.

That's Kenny's job

That's my girl.

That's nice. Your little brother.

That's real brotherly. Don't you have any pride?

That's right, Kenny. The baby sitter is dead.

That's right. You'll never need them.

That's the only reason I'm still at Clown Dog after nine months.

That's why we don't get along so well.

The basic General Apparel West uniform has been modified and accessorized...

The black diamonds on Nicole's cap and dress...

The buyer from Saks is looking for you.

The buyers didn't care anything about that scene.

The epaulets and cuff detailing are antique gold lace.

The first floor.

The food that I bought yesterday is already gone.

The jackets, in varying lengths, are matched with sporty black pants...

The judge will probably go easy on you, considering you're a minor.

The Q.E.D. report. I've made notes. See ifyou can make a dent after lunch.

The school board is going to vote on it.

The school board rejected it. You were right.

The students got wind of it and held a huge protest.

The superintendent needs cost estimates from us by Wednesday!

The teenage fashion wave of the future.

The vote on the unifor.m issue has been pushed up. I need those estimates today.

Then don't send me flowers.

Then I can just go to the beach and take a towel and a Walkman...

Then I get to drive home in gridlock in a Volvo with no air conditioning...

Then the guy grunion comes and fertilizes them.

Then why did you burst through my door so determined, so eager?

There goes our great summer.

There is a great big sign that says...

There isn't anything else you haven't told me, right?

There should be plenty.

There's a band playing at Club Lago next week. Wanna go?

There's also a list of instructions, and the phone number in Australia.

There's always gonna be some jerk around stupid enough to take care of you.

There's an article on game playing.

There's no money in here.

There's no one around nagging me anymore.

There's nothing left in petty cash. I've taken it all.

There's only $30 left.

There's your computer, WordStar and Lotus.

There's your mouse. The refrigerator's over there.

These are your things. Your Rolodex.

They borrowed. They were following your irresponsible example.

They burned uniforms in effigy. This was our last hope.

They get washed up here on the shore after the highest tide of the full moon.

They have a really good oceanography program there.

They loved your ideas.

They want the new G.A.W. Iine.

They'll deliver. Pay out of petty cash.

They'll hire me in a second. It'll be great.

They'll probably blame us.

They're all just a bunch of old whores.

They're for you.

They're gonna ask us a lot of questions.

They're just being obnoxious. I'm going to the market in the morning

This is by far and away the most petty...

This is exquisite.

This is going to be great.

This is going to save our collective asses. It's fabulous.

This is going to triple our profit margin.

This is great, man. My sister's working.

This is my daughter, Melissa.

This is my husband, Howard. I love your house. Oh, wow.

This is my new administrative assistant, Sue Ellen.

This is not true!

This is really the decent thing to do.

This place is a crock. We're never gonna make it two months.

This was supposed to be my summer vacation.

This'll give us a chance to break down some of those corporate barriers.

Time for little boys to be in bed.

To create a fun and sexy look for the teenage girl.

To Rose Lindsey's office. I work for her now.

To the senior vice president of operations.

Tomorrow I'm gonna go to the beach with some buddies. Wanna come?

Tomorrow morning Kenny will whip up a batch of Belgium waffles...

Traffic is really tied up on the northbound and southbound 405.

TV rots your brains.

Um, just a little bit of both.

Understand?

Until you lay it out on a spreadsheet, the market analysis is too amorphous.

Very impressive.

Wait a minute. I don't get paid for two weeks.

Wait, I don't understand. So your mom can afford to go to Australia

Wait! You can't. Cynthia, wait!

Wait. I have a coupon for that. It's a double coupon.

Wake up!

Walt, man, I'm really sorry.

Walter, come give Mommy a kiss.

Walter, this is Mom's vacation, but I'll try.

Want to call Aunt Pat...

We agreed we're not exclusive

We are a family of felons.

We better get along home for supper. I'm making pot roast, Walter's favorite.

We broke up. Remember?

We can work this out. It was really stupid what happened.

We can't take it back. We got it on sale.

We could have a great summer. We just gotta stick together.

We decided it would be more practical and convenient...

We didn't break up. We had a fight.

We don't have any choice. We'll flip for it.

We don't need a warden.

We don't need an adult around telling us when to eat, sleep and vacuum, right?

We got to talk about this. Forget about this other guy.

We have excellent medical coverage.

We have unhealthful air. quality today thr.oughout the LosAngeles basin.

We keep this up, we're never gettin' out of school, man.

We seem to be experiencing a negative cash flow problem here.

We will clean up the party.

We work such hellish hours here, no one has time to go to the bank.

We'll finally prove ourselves to New York.

We'll messenger them right over.

We'll play it by ear.

We'll stop and get you an ice cream cone, okay?

We're all adults here, and we have a presentation to get through.

We're approaching the millennium with a fresh attitude and look.

We're growing. We're expanding.

We're here. What do you want us to do?

We're in the bowels of the fashion industry.

We're not really together. A few months.

We're probably all going to be canned tomorrow.

We're saving the ambulance people a trip, right?

We're so in sync.

We're up here with the other vice presidents...

We're with you! Rock and roll!

We've been mutually un exclusive for the last seven months.

We've decided that we're not gonna take any more ofyour crap.

We've gotta get rid of the old lady.

Welcome, everyone.

Well

Well as usual, your brother's proven he's not the least bit involved with this family.

Well did you yell at him?

Well, Bruce, I'm the executive level administrative assistant...

Well, congratulations.

Well, did you see his report card? He got all D's.

Well, don't bother getting too settled in, hmm?

Well, I suppose you'll grow out of that.

Well, I won't let you. I need you.

Well, it needed it.

Well, it's time to finish up school..

Well, neither have I.

Well, not exactly. It's office money, petty cash.

Well, one of us has to get a job.

Well, she must've taken it out.

Well, she's not here right now.

Well, thank you for lunch

Well, thanks for sticking around.

Well, that's true.

Well, yeah.

Well, you could send them to the house.

Well, you just missed her. Sorry.

Well...

What about donating blood? They pay you.

What about the receptionist job?

What ar.eyou gonna do? This Clown Dog shit's gone, man.

What are they gonna pay you?

What are we gonna do for cash for the next two months?

What are we gonna say? Liza Minnelli stole our Buick?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing New Year's Eve?

What are you doing with it? What is Carolyn doing with it?

What are you queens doin' in our car?

What did she do, copy it from a résumé book?

What do you guys want for breakfast?

What do you mean?

What do you say, beer bust tomorrow night?

What do you want from me?

What do you want me to do? We have a receding profit margin.

What else is new?

What happened to Walter?

What is it? Something?

What is the job?

What is your name, and what do you do here?

What should we do with her body?

What was he doing on the roof?

What we have foryou is a preview of the General Apparel West to come.

What, are you burnt out? You wanna take a step down?

What?

What?

What?

What? Oh, my God.

What'd they do? Fire you?

What's the deal with you and him?

What's this? What is this?

What's wrong?

When our food's gone, we can eat Elvis.

When they find her, they'll take care of everything.

When was the last time we went out to dinner together, huh?

When you talk, you ruin it. You can't talk unless you stop.

When you're gonna do a cake...

Whenever we're not alone or I'm on the phone and I askyou something

Where are the kids?

Where have you been? Where's the Q.E.D. report?

Where is the babysitter?

Where's Carolyn? Mousy brown hair, gives you a headache?

Whetheryou thinkyou can push us around or not...

Which basically means he isn't ready to commit.

Who cares about my sister?

Who does not want ...

Who else do you know that drives?

Who's playing the field and calling all the plays.

Who's the bozo?

Why are you doing this to Rose?

Why bother? It's not the end of the world.

Why can't I just get a job at some nice, clean office?

Why did you leave your dishes in the sink... For me?

Why don't you call Siam Mania and order in lunch for us.

Why don't you go upstairs and take a nap?

Why don't you guys go wrap up the party?

Why don't you just quit?

Why?

Why'd you stop?

With a classic wedge cap, evoking the charming nostalgia

With a really fun squeegee!

With all your qualifications and background...

With your qualifications and background, you'll land an even better job.

Would you break the news to Franklin?

Would you feel more comfortable if I started?

Would you like me to call Mom back? 'Cause I can.

Would you stop ordering us around? You're not the baby sitter.

Wow.

Wow. Working with Rose must be so neat.

Yeah, a date.

Yeah, babe.Justice is served.

Yeah, but she left us all her money.

Yeah, but who cares? I'm a career woman now.

Yeah, Europe again.

Yeah, I guess.

Yeah, my mom left us with this deranged Mary Poppins.

Yeah, right. We go and say, "Excuse me. We left money on our dead baby sitter."

Yeah, she's crocheting this massive doily for the couch.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, sure. I like grunion.

Yeah, they're fine. Everything's fine.

Yeah, well, enjoy your childhood.

Yeah, well, it was kind of a loaner.

Yeah! Massive party supplies! I got shotgun!

Yeah.

Yeah. I hate this part.

Yeah. I'm free. I gotta check with the grunion, but

Yeah. Relax, Mom

Yeah. Set it up right over there.

Yeah. She was a great baby sitter.

Yeah. Where did that come from?

Yes, the Q.E.D. report.

Yes, we have temporarily cut back on quality fabrics...

Yes!

Yes. Me too

Yo, Gidget, could you get on it?

You

You are a paragon.

You are all grounded.

You are supposed to go down to Personnel.

You bought her a diamond?

You can access the format on the C drive

You can cash personal checks for our employees.

You can't imagine how off your timing is. Forget it.

You can't run a tight ship without rules. Now move!

You couldn't even mow the lawn today

You deserve better

You did. We're busy.

You don't have to do all this.

You don't wanna go out and play croquet in the middle, for instance.

You go on home, have a glass ofwine, and put cucumber slices on your eyes.

You goin' to college? What do you wanna do?

You got roses. Who might they be from?

You got that right.

You gotta put chili on those Clown Dogs, and keep it movin'.

You gotta squeeze the fat out of those burgers better.

You graduated six, years ago, so you're 27, 28?

You guys are gonna be in Europe all summer.

You hate baseball?

You have spent over $3,000?

You have to be over 18

You haven't even said how nice the house looks.

You haven't taken out the trash in weeks, And the lawn needs mowing

You know how I feel about you.

You know there are five children?

You know what, guys?

You know, I thought we made designer clothes.

You know, maybe take some fashion design classes or something.

You know...

You let Cathy do the Q.E.D. report?

You little maggots, line up! Time to go over the rules!

You looked so incredible in that bathing suit. It was unbelievable.

You mean, a date?

You never even knew her.

You ran over my foot.

You really have to have a battle plan all ready...

You should see the Zsa Zsa diamond ring he bought for Cynthia.

You swore you'd sign me up for baseball

You take these things so personally.

You wanna go and watch for 'em? It happens really fast.

You wanna go to the beach and watch the grunion run Monday night?

You want to be executive material?

You weren't supposed to come home yet.

You?

You'd think I woke up this morning and thought...

You'll also be coordinating our sales, manufacturing and advertising people.

You'll be verifying his purchase orders pending my approval...

You'll have about 1 2 seconds.

You'll have to bring him back for a walking cast in six weeks.

You'll need to rent a banquet hall. You do have enough in petty cash, right?

You're a career woman now.

You're almost doing that correctly...

You're gettin' the hang of it.

You're going to land an even better job.

You're gonna have to get off those things.

You're gonna miss your flight.

You're having a party?

You're just copying it right out of the book?

You're just pissed off because I don't wanna meet your sister.

You're lucky. It's better than being here.

You're never gonna get to the beach.

You're not capable of running the show while I'm gone. You're not an adult yet.

You're not going to have a problem. You're going to be fine, believe me.

You're not really a guy, are you?

You're off at the office all day doing interesting office things.

You're shiny.

You're so good at dealing with the staff.

You're taking Mrs. Sturak's car?

You're the one I want to listen to beautiful music with.

You're up.

You're worthless.

You've been a real trouper right to the end.

You've got the car, and you don't even take me anywhere anymore.

You've got to get something better on her than that.

You've had a long flight, and you're cranky.

Young Bryan, our Clown Dog server.

Zach, life goes on.

Zach's at Cynthia's, Melissa's upstairs, and Walter's asleep.

Zack, put it back.

"K.C. Catering." "Bodacious Sculptures In Ice."

A steak. Cheese omelet.

And foryou, sir? White wine spritzer.

And he serves me breakfast in bed. Only when she deserves it.

Are those drag queens? What's a drag queen?

Are you all right? Yeah, great.

Are you all right? Yeah. I hope so.

Beautiful, something else also. Yes, Mom?

Bryan didn't call yet, huh? Why not call the stud horse?

Busted. Dude

Bye Mom. Have a blast! Right

Bye, Franklin. Bye.

Bye, Mom. Yeah.

Call Nicole. All of my friends are in Europe.

Coffee, dear? Yeah.

Come on! What do you say? All right!

Come on. Yeah, Right!

Could you turn the music down? It's down, cave lady.

Dad doesn't care. What about blackmailing Dad?

Did you have a lot of deliveries? Yeah. I'm the stork of fast food.

Did you turn the air conditioner on? Well, I was hot.

Do you ever go outside? Nah. No TV.

Do you like classical music? I played cello in high school

Don't forget. I can't. I've got a sales meeting.

Don't say anything. I understand. What do you understand?

Easy. She's starting to stink.

Elvis needs fresh water. I'll do it in a minute

Find it? She must've had it on her.

Fine! Screw you! Up yours!

General Apparel West. Thanks for the roses.

Get it back. Diamonds are forever.

Get over it. Get the diamond back?

Go buy some more food for the kids. You got paid!

Go long. Thanks. Awesome.

Go to hell. Damn it

Going out tomorrow night's great. Then why not tell me where you work?

Good afternoon. Thank you

Good evening, Mrs. Crandell. You look great.

Gosh! You're swamped! Yeah.

Gross. Not your dream job, huh?

Hello? How's it goin'?

Hi, Franklin. Hi.

Hi, Mrs. Crandell. Hi, kids.

Hi, Zach. Hi.

Honey, I'm so sorry. I just don't understand.

How are you doing? Hollywood Squar.es are on.

How can you stand it? Just try to hang with it.

How could you steal from me? They didn't really steal.

How much was it? It was a chip.

I can not believe it. Oh, that's very funny

I didn't know you were married. I'm not. I'm divorced.

I got a good deal on some material. Good.

I got her. I mean my skateboard.

I had to work late, okay? You still should have called.

I hate you. Sue Ellen?

I have to tell you something. Go ahead, you honey

I just called to say hi. Aren't you busy in your career?

I know. I'm sorry. Gonna be late for wor

I mean, like humans. Oh

I need you! Gourmet munchies, man.

I wish Dad were around. No you don't

I'm a morning person. I'm hungry.

I'm applying for the receptionist job. Hold.

I'm born free. Hey, dude.

I'm glad you called me, really. Yeah, me too.

Is this your résumé? Yeah.

It cracked Mr. Egg when you left. Really?

It was Walter's idea. It's going back.

It wasn't even our Buick. This sucks.

It's just a job. But I need this job.

It's not as bad as you think. Save it.

It's really important. Thanks. Thankyou.

Just the two of us. Good.

Katrina, our chef, is... We should work it out.

Kenny. What?

Let's go to the Guitar Center. Wait, guys.

Let's hack off her head! Yeah!

Let's rehearse. Melissa, come, honey! Okay, Mommy!

Little League will be there next year. So will Australia

Look at the jalopy. This is going to be so much fun.

Lovely, isn't it? Yeah, lovely.

Lunch? I'd love to.

Maybe it's here. I looked in there already.

Mom, calm down. I will not calm down.

Mother? She seems very nice.

Mrs. Sturak. Yes?

Nice to meet you. Good morning.

No prizes. Hey, Swell Hi.

No, we don't. It baffles me.

No. Get down from there.

No. He's just on helium. Bryan.

Not enough cleanser? Nope.

Now how are we gonna get home? I miss Mommy.

Okay then. Can I get ten dollars? forget it.

Okay, bye. Bye.

Okay, yeah. Totally.

Petty cash? Cash box is in your locked drawer.

Pull! There!

Ready. Genie.

Remember. Call me Mommy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right Now If you need money, ask me first

See you for lunch? I'll let you know.

See you, Swell. Bye bye, Swell

She doesn't look dead. That's 'cause it just happened.

She doesn't want to go with me. Just call her.

She has trouble remembering things. We're to wear them at all times.

She was my moon goddess. I know.

Shit. What?

Shut up. Be careful.

Sorry. It's okay.

SpaghettiOs. Okay.

Sure, Rose. Fabulous.

Take a look. I don't know. This is risky

Take it easy. Help your brother.

Talks like she's chewing her face? That's her.

Thanks, guys. Bye. Anytime.

Thanks. Sure.

That could be cool. Yeah. It's time to do something.

That's cool. Yeah, but I'm not so sure.

That's our car! Let's go!

That's why I really miss you. Our last model is Becky.

The dishwashers full, ok. So empty it

The naked shrimp is to die from. Right. Yum.

the nurse? Yeah

Then empty it. Well, that's Zach's job.

They'll definitely call Mom. She'll blame us

This is fabulous. Thank you.

Wanna go to a Dodger game tomorrow? That sounds good.

We can afford to be hospitable. Whatever. Here.

We live in the boonies. How about calling Dad?

We're going to be out of a job. What?

We're on a break, dude. Park it yourself, Metallica breath.

Welcome aboard, sweetie. Thank you.

What about Lizard or Hellhound? We don't have any money.

What about you? My parents want me to go to UCSD.

What are you doing? I'm right on top of that.

What did you do to yourself? We'll talk about it in the morning.

What happened? I'm sorry.

What ifyou need them? I won't.

What is that sound? There's something up there.

what is your problem? Yeah.

What the hell is that? I don't know.

What? Mom's home.

What? Sweet or dry?

What's goin' on? Nothing.

What's the special occasion? It's our first lunch together.

What's this lady's problem? I'm scared.

What's wrong with you? Nothing is wrong with me.

Where are all the dishes? In the dishwasher.

Where are you going? I'm going shopping for food.

Where is the damn thing? Shoot!

Where you been? You're our maitre d'. Cynthia dumped me for Jacob.

Where you park your. car.. Garage?

Where'd this come from? Japan. It's state of the art.

Where's Cathy? I don't know. I'm a temp.

Where's Kenny? Getting ready.

Who'd sign for them? One of the kids.

Who's gonna clean this place up? Not me.

Why don't we start with the symphony? I'm not starting anything with you.

Why don't you help Walter to bed? Good night, Mom I mean, Swell.

Would you like something from the bar? Have a drink.

Yeah, aren;t you pissed you can't go? Ah, her boyfriend's paying for it.

Yeah, because you were lying to me. Yeah, but that's over.

Yeah, go ahead, really. Thank you.

Yeah, we outnumber her. Let's kick some ass.

Yeah. Yeah?

Yeah. Yo, mad dog. Want to park the car?

Yeah. You don't look it.

Yeah. Thanks for helping out. No problem.

Yes, of course. Do you think you can handle the job?

Yes, Scott! One more.

You go have a lovely time. Thank you.

You go to the supermarket Groceries.

You guys are up already? It's summer.

You guys really out of food? No.

You have to be over 21. Yeah. Drag.

You look lovely. Thank you.

You only got one bag of chips. We could only afford the necessities.

You'd have to bribe them? Yeah.

You'll feel much better. Well, I'm all out of cucumbers.

Your paycheck. Thank you.

Your son? Her son?

A horse runs at a Gallop.

I know you said you're not interested That's right. I'm not.

"Distinctive Valet Parking, Classical Accompaniment Musicians."

"Gee, I'd love to scrub fat vats.

"I'm right on top of that, Rose."

"Personnel.

$37,500 a year.