Actually, I do.
Actually, I'm looking for a Batman, Number 14.
Again? Dad, you haven't had company in this house...
Ah, ha ha ha.
ALAN: Ah. Ugh. Ugh.
ALAN: Come back here! EDGAR: Hey, let's go!
ALAN: Does the sunlight freak him out? He wears sunglasses in the house.
ALAN: Easy pickings.
ALAN: Notice anything unusual about Santa Carla yet?
ALAN: Okay, we'll come over and do it for you.
ALL [CHANTING]: Michael, Michael, Michael....
All right, it won't hurt. It won't.
All the damn vampires.
All you do is give attitude lately. You watching too much Dynasty, bud?
And do what?
And don't tell me it doesn't make her a bad person, Mike.
And listen to this: "Vampires require a daytime protector, a guardian...
And pray you never need to call us.
And you can't put the Number 98s with the 300s.
And you must be Max.
Anyway, I was raised better than that.
Appetizer.
Are we having fun, or what?
Are you all right?
Are you freebasing? Inquiring minds wanna know.
Are you guys sniffing old newsprint or something?
Are you lost?
Are you telling me we moved to the murder capital of the world?
Are you trying to refrigerate the whole neighborhood?
As a matter of fact, we're almost certain...
Be one of us.
BOTH: Keep going. Keep going, okay.
BOTH: Mm hm.
Bottoms up, man. Whoa!
BOY: Mom. Mom.
Brought you something to dress up your room with, Sam.
Burn rubber does not mean warp speed.
Burn rubber.
But a big legal battle wasn't gonna improve anybody's situation.
But all will try to take you with them.
But for me it gets harder and harder to resist.
But I still want you, Lucy.
But Star's great. I like Star.
But you must feed.
Bye, Terry.
Chinese. Good choice.
Christ!
Come on down!
Come on, come on, admit it. You're chasing her.
Come on, come on.
Come on, hold him back, man, hold him back, man. Back off, man.
Come on, Nanook.
Come on, Nanook.
Come on, she stiffed you. Ha.
Come on!
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on. Just you.
Come with us, Michael.
Cool it, Nanook.
Dad, are you all right?
Dad?
Dad? Dad?
Dad.
Dad. Oh, Dad.
Damn it.
DAVID: I tried to make you immortal.
DAVID: Initiation's over, Michael.
DAVID: Michael Emerson!
DAVID: Michael wants to know what's going on.
DAVID: Michael, Michael.
DAVID: Michael.
DAVID: Michael.
DAVID: Michael. Michael.
DAVID: Sorry about that.
David!
Dinner, my house, tomorrow night.
Do you know the rule about filling up the car with gas...
Does that mean we are, or...?
Does your brother know who the head vampire is?
Don't bother.
Don't eat
Don't ever invite a vampire into your house, you silly boy.
Don't fight, Lucy. It's so much better if you don't fight.
Don't kill anybody until we get back to you.
Don't kill me, Mike.
Don't let her see the bodies.
Don't touch anything.
Don't you touch her! You stay away from her!
Drink some of this, Michael.
DWAYNE: Hey, Michael. PAUL: Way to go, Michael.
DWAYNE: Pretty sad. Pretty sad.
EDGAR: All right, here's what you do.
EDGAR: Bad breath? Long fingernails?
EDGAR: Come on! Sam, let's get out of here.
EDGAR: Come on.
EDGAR: Come on. Vampires have such rotten tempers.
EDGAR: Death to all vampires. Maximum body count.
EDGAR: Get him into the sun! Get him into the sunlight!
EDGAR: Go, let's go, come on.
EDGAR: Grab him! Get him into the light!
EDGAR: He's not glowing. I know. Hit the lights.
EDGAR: Holy shit. ALAN: Vampire hotel.
EDGAR: Let's check it out, Sam. ALAN: Come on.
EDGAR: Look up there, man. You gotta look everywhere.
EDGAR: Michael, get back, man. Mike.
EDGAR: Sam, stop. Sam, come back. ALAN: No, wait.
EDGAR: This has nothing to do with the food fight. I think I should cover this.
EDGAR: We don't know which one the leader is.
Even though you're a vampire, you're still my brother.
Everything is exactly where I want it to be.
Excuse me, I wonder if you could help us.
Fat chance. Nobody drives this baby but me.
Feeding time. Come and get it, boys.
Fierce dogs, the Hounds of Hell, are often employed for this purpose."
Flies and the undead go together, like bullets and guns.
Food.
For a fashion victim.
For a ride. This is Michael.
Four, actually.
Garlic don't work, boys.
Garlic? How did that happen?
Get away from me, Mike!
Get yourself a good, sharp stake and drive it right through his heart.
Give me those sunglasses.
Go take your bath.
Go. Come on, move it, move it.
Good night, bloodsucker.
Good night, Lucy.
Good night, Michael. Bombs away.
Got a problem, guys?
GRANDPA: Rules.
Grandpa?
Great, Dad.
Great. The bloodsucking Brady Bunch.
Guests first.
Guys, he likes garlic.
Guys, if my brother's a vampire, believe me, he's only half.
He came into the store, and
He doesn't run over me.
He was protecting you.
He's a vampire, all right.
He's just a little boy.
He's right. I don't feel any different.
Hear that sound? Just like a baby pussycat.
Help me! Sammy, open the window!
Here. Quick, drink some water.
Here's one. Come on, let's stake her, man.
Hey, anything around here that might pass for an aftershave?
Hey, aren't we friends anymore?
Hey, can I drive it on the way back?
Hey, Grandpa, is it okay if we borrow your car?
Hey, Grandpa, is it true that Santa Carla's the murder capital of the world?
Hey, guys, no running in the house.
Hey, man. Read this.
Hey, Michael.
Hey, ouch! My hair.
Hey, wait a minute! Come back here!
Hey, we only come here to watch one thing.
Hey! Smells good. When do we eat?
Hey.
Hi, Michael.
Hi, Thorn.
Hi.
Hold on!
Holy shit! It's the attack of Eddie Munster. Get him.
Honey, get in the car. Get in the car.
Honey, I better bring this up to the house or somebody's just gonna take it.
How about some Windex, Grandpa?
How are those maggots?
How do you like that?
How far are you willing to go, Michael?
How much do you think we should charge them for this?
Huh?
Hurry, Michael.
I came this close to being called Moonbeam or Moonchild.
I can help you.
I can't beat your bike.
I can't believe you people. The refrigerator door's wide open.
I can't do that. He's my brother.
I can't find my mom.
I can't talk about it on the phone. It's Michael.
I can't, I have plans.
I can't. I can't.
I didn't invite you this time, Max.
I don't believe you're doing this.
I don't know. What's going on, Paul?
I don't need a babysitter, Mike.
I don't want to hear another word from you until I talk to Michael.
I feel a draft. I think there's something up here.
I gotta tell you something. It's real important. Shh.
I guess so. She said not to be late.
I guess we'll just have to kill them all.
I have more serious things on my mind than girls and school. Things that
I haven't changed my mind about that.
I hope.
I just like to read the TV Guide.
I knew it. You're the head vampire.
I knew that if I could get Sam and Michael into the family...
I know what you're thinking, Sam, but you're wrong.
I know who I am now, Sam.
I nailed one of them with a bow and arrow.
I think I know what's going on here.
I think we should let Michael know what's going on.
I thought it was Max, but I was wrong.
I thought they were supposed to be in coffins.
I told Max 8:00.
I told you I don't like horror comics.
I told you not to come in here anymore.
I told you to stay off the boardwalk.
I told you, boys need a mother.
I tried to warn you.
I wanted to tell you that it's not too late for you.
I wish Grandpa would stop giving me these stupid things.
I work all day. Sam is always alone.
I would just like to be your friend, that's all.
I'd like to go. Okay?
I'll deal with you later, young man.
I'll handle Mom. Come on, go.
I'll pray...
I'm always looking out for the other three.
I'm basically a good kid, so just don't kill me.
I'm fine. It was a real scary comic, that's all.
I'm gonna make you a sandwich.
I'm gonna see Max and you're trying to ruin it.
I'm just like David now, Star.
I'm not kidding. They're coming as soon as it gets dark.
I'm not talking about Max, all right? To hell with Max.
I'm not trying to replace your father.
I'm okay. I was reading a horror comic and I thought I saw someone...
I'm over here, Michael.
I'm weak.
In 1906...
In here? Are you sure you're all right?
Is everybody okay?
Is it all right for the guest to see the food before dinner?
Is that you, Thorn? Is that you making all that noise?
It could save your life.
It looks great. Definitely. Enjoy it, for sure.
It looks like a dead end. Let's head back.
It renders you powerless.
It was a scary comic, Mom. I'm sorry.
It was all going to be so perfect, Lucy.
It was that night in the cave, wasn't it?
It was you I was after all along, Lucy.
It's a rip off.
It's been a long time since somebody asked me to go to dinner.
It's freezing.
It's Mom.
It's raw garlic.
It's that girl. Is she one of them?
Jesus Christ!
Jesus.
Join us.
Just going to drop by some of my handiwork to the Widow Johnson.
Just like one big happy family.
Just scoping your civilian wardrobe.
Just tell me who the head vampire is.
Just work with me, and I can help you. You'll be okay.
Just you.
Kill your brother. You'll feel better.
Laddie.
Leave him alone.
Let's go in here and we can ask, okay?
Lf all the corpses buried around here were to stand up all at once...
Lf he's dead, can we go back to Phoenix?
Lf something happens, I'm not gonna have the strength to protect you.
Lf you want your ear pierced, I'll do it.
Listen, Edgar staked one. It was screaming and fizzing.
Listen, if you're looking for the diet frozen yogurt bar...
Listen, let's try it once more.
Look at your reflection in the mirror.
Look, guys, I know the last year hasn't been easy...
Look, guys, my brother is not a bloodsucker.
Look, it says here that if you kill the head vampire...
Look, there's evidence on my sweater.
Look. You can't put the Superman Number 77s with the 200s.
Looks like I wasn't the only one who got lucky last night.
Lori Lemaris hasn't even been introduced.
Lose the earring, Michael. It's not you. It's definitely not you.
Lucy, you're the only woman I ever knew...
LUCY: Are you okay? Yeah. Yeah.
LUCY: Aw, honey.
LUCY: Bye.
LUCY: Dad. Dad, you shouldn't sneak up on people like that.
LUCY: Gosh, you guys are rough.
LUCY: Hey, we're almost there.
LUCY: Max, I'm so sorry. I mean, nothing like this has ever happened.
LUCY: Michael, no!
LUCY: My apology to Max for running out on him last night...
LUCY: Now what? SAM: Must be a circuit breaker, Mom.
LUCY: Oh, how about this? MICHAEL: Hang on.
LUCY: Oh, look at your suit, Max. And your pants.
LUCY: Oh, my boys.
LUCY: Sam. Okay.
LUCY: Sorry.
LUCY: Ten o'clock. Lights out.
LUCY: What's going on there? SAM: Mom?
Maggots, Michael.
Major mistake.
MAN 1 [ON RADIO]: I don't see any bogeymen or nasty guys.
MAN 1: It means you gotta bounce, man.
MAN 2: Come on, man. Come on, let him through. Come on.
MAN 2: Did you see that? Where did he come from?
MAN 2: His pain, discomfort, manipulation SAM: No, no.
MARKO: Come on, Michael. PAUL: Come on.
MARKO: Michael, let go. PAUL: Michael, let go.
Max asked me to go to dinner with him after work tonight.
Max never comes in till after it's dark.
Max, this is my son Sam, and Edgar and Alan Frog?
Max, what are you talking about?
MAX: I don't really know.
MAX: It's okay? Thank you. LUCY: Oh, it's delicious.
Max? Are we gonna have company again?
Michael, are you there?
Michael, I can't tell you. I don't know how to help you.
Michael, if you ever wanna see Star again...
Michael, look at me.
Michael, Max is coming to dinner. I'd like you to meet him.
Michael, take off your glasses.
Michael, they're coming!
Michael, would you do me a favor?
Michael, you come home in the middle of the night...
Michael, you're one of us. Let go!
Michael, you're one of us. Let go!
MICHAEL: Come on, Sam, give Mom a break.
MICHAEL: Don't let them see me like this. Michael.
MICHAEL: Get away, Sam.
MICHAEL: Hi.
MICHAEL: No.
MICHAEL: Pretty cool, Mom, you know. You wanna switch the dial?
MICHAEL: Sam!
MICHAEL: Sammy. Sammy, open the door.
MICHAEL: This is a pretty cool place. SAM: For The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
MICHAEL: What are you doing? I've got connections.
Michael!
Michael.
Michael.
Michael.
Mike, wake up.
Mike, what happened?
Mike! Mike! Start the car. Mike. Mike.
Mike?
Mike. Mike.
Mike. Mike. Mike, wake up.
Mm hm.
Mmm! Boy, somebody around here has bad breath.
Mmm. It tastes wonderful.
Mom, I think we have to have a long talk about something.
Mom, I'm serious.
Mom, if we're in your way, we can go eat some peanut butter in the kitchen.
Mom, what's that smell?
Mom! Help! He's coming to get me!
Mom! Mom, don't!
Mom? Can I sleep in here with you tonight?
Mom.
Mom. Don't do it, Mom. Mom, don't do it.
MOTHER: Thank you. Thank you.
My own brother, a goddamn shit sucking vampire.
My turn.
Nanook, would you quit breathing on me?
Nanook?
Never.
No hard feelings, huh?
No shit.
No two bloodsuckers go out the same way.
No, Grandpa.
No, I don't think so.
No, I'm not.
No, it's a pretty cool place.
No, Mike. Mike, don't open the door. Mike!
No, well, it's something Sam
No, you're not. You're like Laddie and me.
No!
No! No!
No. Actually, I'm not looking for a tape.
No. I'm up.
No. It's not cheese, it's garlic.
No. No, thanks.
No. You're next.
Nobody touches the second shelf but me.
Not bad, huh?
Not even a crack.
Nothing. I didn't hurt him. He bit me. This is my blood.
Now you know what we are.
Now you know what you are.
Now, on Wednesdays, when the mailman brings the TV Guide...
Now, there's another rule around here, and I want you to pay close attention.
Oh, he turned green.
Oh, I didn't know you were having guests.
Oh, Michael.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, they're just young. We were that age, too, once.
Oh, wait, wait, wait. That's from my era.
Oh, well, that's so sweet.
Oh, yeah, I always get those confused.
Oh!
Oh.
Okay, boys, let's go.
Okay, Mom.
Okay, night night, sweetheart.
Okay. Where's Nosferatu?
Only they dress better. Bye bye.
Ooh.
Open up!
Or it's your funeral.
Or something like that.
Or steal your mother away from you.
Our batting average isn't terrific, is it? 0 for 2.
Over here, bud.
PAUL: All right. Food time. DWAYNE: All right.
PAUL: Welcome aboard, Michael.
PAUL: Yeah.
Perfect timing.
Phoenix, actually. But lucky me, we moved...
Piss off.
Playing dead.
Pretty cool, huh?
Protecting mother.
Read the TV Guide, you don't need a TV.
Remember the food fight Michael and I got into last year?
Right now they're at their most vulnerable.
Right.
Right. How are you?
Right. Now we're gonna have company again.
Sam, don't start this again.
Sam, don't you have something better to do than follow me around all night?
Sam, no!
Sam, tell those kids to get something to eat.
Sam, this is a terrible thing to admit, but I think that...
Sam, what has gotten into you tonight?
Sam, what's the matter with you?
SAM: Ah! Shut up, Sam.
SAM: Ah! Ow.
SAM: All right, Nanook.
SAM: Did you take care of everything, Michael?
SAM: Go! Get out of here! Run! Go! Fast! Come on!
SAM: Guys, we're on our own.
SAM: I didn't spill it.
SAM: It's freezing in here. Ah!
SAM: Keep going, Mom.
SAM: Keep going. LUCY: Hey, I like that song.
SAM: Michael?
SAM: Mike, start the car!
SAM: Mike!
SAM: Mom!
SAM: Mom!
SAM: Mom?
SAM: Mom.
SAM: Mom. Mom, you've gotta help me. LUCY: Soon.
SAM: Nanook.
SAM: No!
SAM: No! No! Tell him to get away! No! No! Mom!
SAM: Oh, this jams. MICHAEL: Quite right.
SAM: So, what's our rush? You're chasing that girl, aren't you?
SAM: Stay back. MICHAEL: Just let me talk
SAM: There's nothing here. Let's go, guys.
SAM: What's Plan B? We don't have one.
SAM: What's the wine for?
SAM: What's wrong with this picture?
SAM: Why?
Sam! Sam!
Sam.
Sam. Sam, are you all right? You had me scared to death.
Sammy, help me! Open up!
Sammy, open up!
Sammy, wait. Sam!
Sammy, we're flat broke.
Say hello, Thorn. Well, how may I help you this evening?
She's one of them!
So are the Frog brothers.
So check it out, Mikey.
So now it's ours.
So, what are you, the Flying Nun?
So.
Some explode. Some implode.
Some yell and scream. Some go quietly.
Sorry.
STAR: Are you okay? LADDIE: Yes.
STAR: Hurry! Michael, hurry!
STAR: Me too.
STAR: Michael! ALAN: Come on, come back!
STAR: Michael. Michael.
STAR: That's enough. PAUL: Chill out, girl.
Star!
Star! Star!
Star.
Star.
Star.
Stay back! Stay back!
Stop fighting me, Michael. I don't want to kill you.
Stop it. Right now. Just stop it.
Stop! Get away from him. You just stay away from him.
Stop. Sam!
Sure.
Take it easy, Michael.
Take this.
Talk about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
Tell me, Michael, how could a billion Chinese people be wrong?
Thank you, Sam.
Thanks to you two.
Thanks very much.
That was David's blood.
That wasn't funny, Mike.
That wasn't wine they gave me to drink. It was blood.
That's what I love about this place.
That's what this cave is. It's one giant coffin.
That's where I keep my root beers and my double thick Oreo cookies.
The dog who chased my mom this morning was his.
The one thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach:
The rest of them have gotta be around here someplace. Let's find them.
The sun will go down. They'll be looking for us.
The Widow Johnson called. She said to pick her up at 7 instead of 8, okay?
Then dog started chasing my mom like the Hounds of Hell in Vampires Everywhere.
Then there's still one more.
Then you'll have to kill him. And if you don't...
There's no TV. Have you seen a TV? I haven't seen a TV, Mike.
There's nothing wrong with Max. Why don't you want me to see ?
There's our number on the back.
These are my dinner guests. Edgar and Alan, the Frog brothers.
They haven't even discovered red kryptonite yet.
They must have hidden the coffins around here someplace.
They pulled a mind scramble on us.
They'll be coming for all of us.
They'll be coming for Laddie and me, won't they?
Things I wouldn't understand?
This all started when my mom went to work at Max's video store.
This boy is lost and we're wondering if his mother might be in here.
This is What are you doing with the bike?
This isn't a comic book, Sammy. These guys are brutal killers.
This was the hottest resort in Santa Carla about 85 years ago.
Thorn, stop that.
Time to join the club.
Too bad they built it on the fault.
Truth, justice, the American way triumphs.
Try the holy water, dead breath!
Vampires, my friend. Vampires.
Wait a minute. Sam!
Wait, let me get this straight.
We are awesome monster bashers.
We got a date tonight?
We have it all. The best selection of videotapes in Santa Carla.
We only have two and a half hours.
We totally annihilated his night stalking ass.
We trashed the one that looks like Twisted Sister.
We unraveled in the face of the enemy.
We'll check out Max.
We're dedicated to a higher purpose.
We're fighters for truth, justice and the American way.
We're going for a ride.
We're gonna work this out. I'm gonna work this out. Trust me, okay?
We've been aware of some serious vampire activity in this town for a long time.
We've got some rules around here.
We've gotta stick together, Sam. We've gotta stick together, bro.
Well, I better get cleaned up, then.
Well, I'll tell you something. You don't know shit, buddy.
Well, kids Sam's age need discipline, otherwise they run all over you.
Well, Nanook helped a little.
Well, now you do.
Well, on second thought....
Well, then let's act like friends. Let's talk.
Well, there are some bad elements around here.
Well, this time I'll protect you, bud.
Well, you're the man of the house...
What a weirdo, man.
What are you doing here? What do you want from me?
What did you do to my dog, asshole?
What did you stuff for her? Mr. Johnson?
What I need is....
What is this mess?
What the hell?
What was that, a little vampire humor? It wasn't funny.
What?
What's going on, Mike?
What's going on?
What's going on?
What's happening?
What's that noise? That's not Michael. Why is he screaming like that?
What's that smell?
What's the big deal? You destroyed the head vampire.
What's the matter, Lucy?
What's your name?
When a vampire buys it, it's never a pretty sight.
Where did you say you met these guys?
Where is she?
Where the hell are you from? Krypton?
Where's Michael?
Where's Star, David?
Whew! You smell like garlic.
Who would you rather go down there with you? Them or me?
Who's there?
Whoo!
Why did he bite you, Mike? What did you do to him?
Why did you come here tonight, Star?
Why didn't you kill me last night?
Wild kids.
Yeah, all day.
Yeah, his fingernails are a bit longer. He always had bad breath, though.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, Sam. Thank you very much.
Yeah, well, I'll see you two guys later.
Yeah, yeah, let me try some of that.
Yeah? Well, what happens if my mom is dating the head vampire?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Lots more where he comes from.
Yeah. You think we just work in a comic book store for our folks, huh?
You afraid to face me, David?
You are a killer.
You are one of us, Michael.
You ask, and then you get.
You did the right thing by calling us. Does your brother sleep a lot?
You don't have to beat me, Michael. You just have to try and keep up.
You don't like rice?
You drank someone's blood? Are you crazy?
You gotta let it warm up a little.
You guys could nail him and save Santa Carla.
You have a big date tonight?
You know that?
You know where David took me tonight, don't you, Star?
You know where Hudson's Bluff is, overlooking the point?
You know, Dad, we've all been through enough. You know.
You know, I can never sleep with the closet door open either.
You know, I've just about had it with the both of you.
You know, it was just a kid's imagination, I'm sure, but...
You know, it's not fair. I would like to have a personal life too.
You know, things are gonna change around this house when school starts.
You need your sunglasses to talk on the phone?
You shut the window and lock your door.
You spill milk all over and don't even bother to clean it up?
You too, off the boardwalk.
You tried to make me a killer!
You wait till Mom finds out, buddy.
You want some Parmesan cheese on that?
You were so sweet to him just now.
You were supposed to be my first.
You'll like it here, Michael.
You'll never grow old, Michael...
You'll only wind up ripping the cover, and I don't like that.
You're a creature of the night, Michael. Just like out of a comic book.
You're a vampire, Michael.
You're dead meat!
You're eating maggots. How do they taste?
You're history, buddy.
You're invited.
You're the secret that David was protecting.
You're thinking of the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding.
Your boys...
A job? Is a job.
Actually, I thought it was a bakery. This is just our cover.
Ah, that's the ocean air. SAM: It smells like someone died.
Ah! It's okay.
Ah! Oh!
And stay out of here. Wait, wait.
Because you care so much about me? Yes, I do.
Come on, let's get in. All right.
Did you brush your teeth? Uh huh.
Did you know that? Of course. Everyone knows that.
Do you mind? No, I don't mind.
Does it burn? Burn? What are you, nuts?
Don't run off like that. There you are.
Don't you touch my mother. Sam, don't!
Don't. You don't have to, Michael. PAUL: Take a chance.
Fun, huh? PAUL: How do you like it?
Good night, Sam. SAM: Good night, Grandpa.
Have you been eating pizza? No. Why?
He's gonna kill me! Honey, I'm coming.
Hello? LUCY: Michael, are you still in bed?
Hello. Oh, hi. I didn't hear you come in.
Hello. Sam, is everything all right?
Hey, hey, shh. It's me, it's me. Are you okay?
Hey, wait a minute! LUCY: Oh!
Hey! Hey!
Hey! ALAN: Aah!
How are you? Hello.
I am? Yeah.
I don't like horror comics. You'll like this one, Mr. Phoenix.
I don't want you going down there. I'm going.
I have to talk to you. Can I come up? No.
I say we terminate them right now. Laddie, run!
I thought I heard something. Forget it.
I thought we were going to town. That's as close to town as I like to get.
I was so worried. LUCY: Great.
I'm cooking. Okay.
I'm Michael. Michael. Michael's great. I like Michael.
I'm so sorry. Gosh. MAX: It's all right.
I'm taking you out of here. No, take Laddie first. Please.
Is there any jobs around here? Nothing legal.
It's all over. MICHAEL: Nothing's changed.
It's insane. Tell me. I promise not to laugh. Honest.
Jesus! Aah!
Let's go. Star.
lf there's a girl I'm tired, Mom.
lf you're a Martian. Or a vampire.
Lights, Sam. As soon as I finish this comic, okay?
Looks like he's dead. No, he's just a deep sleeper.
Lucy, this looks terrific. I hope it tastes good.
Michael, Michael, Michael. It's blood.
Michael, over here. PAUL: Go on, Michael.
Mike, what's wrong? MICHAEL: I said, get away!
Mom No, not another word.
Mom, you gotta tell someone. LUCY: Come on, honey.
Mom! Sam!
Mom? Uh huh?
Mom. No.
Mom's home? No, on the phone, Mike.
Nanook. I left him outside. EDGAR: Don't go out there. Stop him.
Nothing, nothing. Listen, just who's making that noise?
Now, we should stay calm. Calm? Calm about what?
Oh, Michael. STAR: I was so scared.
Okay, let's go to town. All right.
Okay. Night night, honey. Good night, Mom.
Sam grated the cheese himself. My son. MAX: Ah.
Sam, I'm starting to get worried. Mom Uh oh.
Sam? Michael? SAM: Mom?
Sam. Come back. Sam.
Santa Carla is crawling with vampires. Excuse me.
Star. Oh, your folks too, huh?
Sure. "Sure."
Thank you. Yeah.
Thanks a lot. I'm sorry, Mom.
Thanks, Grandpa. Dad, really. You shouldn't have.
Thanks. Night.
That's a very serious book, man. Only five in existence.
That's my dog, Thorn. Hi, Thorn.
The meanest. The baddest.
The night crawler. The bloodsucker. El Vampiro.
There must be something in the corner. MICHAEL: Star.
They opened their eyes and talked. I'll drive.
They're worms. What do you mean, they're worms?
Thorn sends his apologies. Oh, well, tell him I'm walking again.
Wait a minute, who wants to know? Michael wants to know.
Wanna get something to eat? Okay.
We are. We are.
We blew it, man. We lost it. Shut up.
We could talk about I'm tired.
We definitely blew Plan A. Time to activate Plan B.
We do now. Yeah.
We don't ride with vampires. Fine. Stay here.
We have to have a heavy conversation. Where's Michael?
We're not one of them Until you make your first kill.