The Toy (1982) Edit

A costume? This is for a short person.

A federal case? Maybe we ought to run a little party for the senator.

A fellow called Lord Cavendish. He met this fellow Bates.

A little light.

A paying job will convince them of your sincerity...

A press card, salary, everything.

A quarter. I'll buy a car.

A toy?

About a thousand.

After what I did to your party, I think we're even, okay?

All right, I'll pay you on an hourly basis, sir.

All right, I'll see you next year.

All right, war has been declared!

All right, what do you need?

All right!

All right. Say "cheese."

All this is not boring? All this garbage?

All this time you didn't know my metal things were propellers?

Amazing.

And a charge card at Neiman's.

And a mink coat.

And a pink Continental.

And after you shave, you're fired.

And anything you want.

And Bates sent them over on a 747, first class.

And don't forget to focus. Okay?

And don't worry about your thing.

And each year, we'd have a different color.

And he gave me new hair.

And he lifted me out of all that misery.

And he said, "You let that black man serve."

And he told me...

And I swear, if you don't believe in prayers and miracles...

And none of us have beards.

And one of his gang came up and stuck a gun in my ribs.

And orangutans. You understand? Kids will want a Jack Brown wind up.

And she loves to be filled with righteous indignation.

And that was 1978. Good heavens, time goes quickly.

And that's some trick.

And then he gave me new boobs.

And then I want them shredded.

And then you're gonna jump her bones?

And they won't want no sad pandas. And no camels.

And we'd sorta do a practice run on you.

And you have a lot of hair on your lip.

Angela, this is for you!

Anybody seen the little monster this morning?

Anything. Absolutely.

Are we gonna play? What have you got?

Are you all right, Master Bates? Are you?

Are you all right?

Are you ashamed of me?

Are you at the store?

Are you crazy?

Are you gonna do that every time?

Around here. But the boy...

At any rate my friend, my lord, my boss...

Attention, Jack Brown and Master Bates.

Barkley!

Be careful of the table.

Be ready. Somebody get Matoussac.

Because it's goodbye for you guys.

Because the bullshit's getting thick. Piranhas?

Because...

Best of all, I wouldn't have to go back to that school.

Better than the dinner I gave you on the floor last night.

Billiards. Take a pole, hit the balls into pockets.

Blue, 26, 32.

Boring.

Bounces. Dance on it.

Box the robot.

Boys will be boys, God bless him.

Bring them down. We'll barbecue them.

But I can't swim!

But I want you to do what's right.

Buy her a puppy. Get her some ice cream. Play tiddlywinks.

By the hour.

Calm down, calm down. Calm down!

Can I say something to you? I admire your moral fiber.

Can I take something?

Can I take your photo?

Can you give me $10 for a cab? All I need is 10. Just $10.

Can't you play the game?

Careful. It's hot.

Certainly not. Do you want Barkley to take you?

Chicken, Mr. Morehouse?

Chop, chop! Give him a ticket!

Cleaning lady? Cleaning lady?

Come here, man.

Come in.

Come in.

Come in.

Come in. We'll discuss moral fiber.

Come on over and meet the senator.

Come on, honey. Walk this way.

Come on, Jack.

Come on, Jack. Get...

Come on, Jack. Hurry up.

Come on, Jack. I'll race you for a beer.

Come on, Jack. Let's go play some more games.

Come on, Jack. You gotta let me win this.

Come on, man.

Come on, Shorty. Come on. Watch yourself. Come on.

Come on, Wonder Wheel. Where's your heart?

Come on, you can do it.

Come on! Come on, Wonder Wheel.

Come on! You don't believe me?

Come on. Don't do that to me.

Come on. Don't, you can't. We've been through too much together.

Come on. Get out!

Come on. Get out!

Come on. Get up.

Come on. Grab this.

Come on. No.

Come see my train.

Couldn't we get these in a 40 Iow?

Cover your lip.

Cover your lip. Mustache.

Dad! Dad!

Daddy said anything I wanted, anything in the store.

Daddy, are you okay?

Daddy!

Daddy's giving you a lot of money.

Damn you! Do you see any piranhas?

Damn, man. I am your friend, Eric.

Democrats don't normally support us in the open.

Didn't I tell you to shave?

Didn't you listen to me?

Didn't you see All the President's Men?

Do I have to stay? I'm an accountant. Will he exceed his credit?

Do you know that?

Do you know what I mean?

Do you know why they're having a party downstairs?

Do you mate a lot?

Do you want me to find him?

Does everybody around here say that?

Does Fancy have to come to Six Flags with us?

Doesn't anybody talk to you, like your father?

Doesn't my daddy make the laws?

Don't jump her. Just dance!

Don't know my own strength.

Don't let go.

Don't touch that table.

Don't worry about that now.

Don't you know it's part of the black cultural imperative?

Don't you know that physical love is the easy part?

Don't you know that?

Don't, Dad! I want him back! Don't! I want Jack back.

Duck, you suckers!

Each time I think you're a rotten kid, you do something real nice.

Elbows off the table.

Eric and I are gonna start a newspaper tomorrow.

Eric, how many of those papers did you hand out?

Eric, I'm trying. Give me a chance.

Eric, I've got a surprise for you. Your present's arrived.

Eric, you're too big to bathe with another naked man!

Eric! Come on, Scoop. Get up! Time to go to work.

Eric! Open this door, you little shit!

Eric's not a bad boy. High spirited. I like that.

Every weeknight you have to clean the window displays for three hours.

Everybody, ain't I a writer?

Excuse me, Mr. Morehouse.

Excuse me. May I have your attention?

Fair weather friend, the bastard. I told you to dance!

Fancy and I were talking the other day...

Federal. Now where's that limey of yours with the bourbon?

Feel the ball. Bounce it.

Fine, sir. Good. Wonderful.

First one up is a rotten egg.

For fish?

Forget you know me.

Freeze! Put your hands up!

Get a job! Get a job! Get a job!

Get better lawyers. That's too long.

Get dressed.

Get in the car, son.

Get out of here, will you? You're disrupting the cast.

Get the tents!

Get your paper!

Get your paper! Read all about it!

Give him a ticket. Put it on.

Give me a hand. Somebody give me a hand.

Go ahead, sugar.

Go deep. Swing left on blue, okay?

Go for it!

Go out the side door.

Go see the people in Mr. Bates' newspaper.

God bless. God bless you.

Good boy. You want your submarine?

Good luck, Mr. Morehouse.

Good man. Father and husband. Mortgage.

Good morning, U.S.

Good to see you. How are things going?

Good. Good.

Goodbye! I want my clothes!

Got it, I got it.

Greetings, senator!

Hang on to your seat!

Have you ever let your son sit on your lap...

He bought a black man.

He can do a lot of damage.

He doesn't care his son is a quitter?

He doesn't care what I am, as long as I stay out of his way.

He doesn't know what he's saying. Music! Everybody dance.

He fired a man because he had sweaty hands?

He has no power. Of course it's people for him.

He has nothing else.

He never loved me.

He says friends are most important.

He says I'm sexy and he loves the chicken.

He says you don't have any friends and that you know two kinds of people:

He says, "You're responsible for the lunchroom." You know him.

He should understand that money means never being sorry.

He treats people like nothing. Didn't you read our paper?

He wants one in black, all right?

He wants to talk to you. Go on down there.

He was driving down the steps.

He was pushy, Eric. He insisted on shaking hands with your father.

He...

He's fired. Did you fire him?

He's gonna want to see all of this. So you know your job.

He's got a son and he hired me...

He's in trouble!

He's just used to getting his own way.

He's manipulative. It's a power play.

He's one of the nicest kids I've ever met. He's really...

He's raising money for the KKK fund.

He's reaching out to you. He's making an effort. You're not.

He's real cute too and I want to pinch his nose."

He's trouble. See the mustache? I asked him to shave.

Heaven forbid you might learn something useful.

Heaven forbid! You just tell him no, you ass.

Hello, Eric.

Hello, Mr. Brown.

Help, please. I need air.

Help! Wonder Wheel!

Here we are, young man. Shall I wait?

Here we go!

Here you go.

Here you go. Read this paper.

Here's a hat. Now put it on. Let's go!

Here's to Cavendish. May his pool game improve.

Here's your breakfast. How are you this morning?

Here's your Phi Beta. I'm sorry.

Herefords or something. About 700 of them.

Hey, brother. Where you going?

Hey, I know what. We'll start a newspaper. You can be a reporter.

Hey, Jack. You got some rich friends.

Hey, pops. What do you need?

Hey! Halt.

Hey! What, you crazy idiot!

Hi, Dad!

Hi, how are you? Good to see you.

His name is Jack Brown. Jack, Master Bates.

Hit the button on the left of the drawer.

Hold those while I get in. Bless your heart. Good luck to you. Thank you.

Holy cow! It works!

Holy shit!

How about you and me going to Europe together?

How are the boys?

How attached are you to that beard?

How disgusting for him to force himself into my room. Go to bed!

How was the flight?

How's school?

How's your math?

Hurry!

I always thought that they conducted their proms in an excellent manner.

I am Swiss. I know nothing! Oh, Eric!

I am talking about, I have pets. I have friends.

I am too. I'm a journalist.

I appreciate you throwing this party for us.

I assume, Brown, you know the penalties for libel?

I came down to do a little fishing this afternoon...

I can be a part time woman. I'm a part time woman.

I can do anything a woman can do. Almost.

I can fix this.

I can see the headline:

I can... I can go help fix this.

I can't be wrapped unless you have ribbon or something soft.

I can't feed myself on high ideas and principles.

I can't take you anywhere!

I didn't ask, huh?

I didn't figure your weight in the turn. Great ride, though.

I didn't fire him. You're the ones...

I didn't hire him."

I do need you. And I love you.

I don't care. I'm not going anywhere.

I don't feel like playing anymore.

I don't have to stay long?

I don't know. It turned out they were both gamblers.

I don't like it. I tried it. Believe me, I have dignity.

I don't like this mean game you're playing with your dad.

I don't want this job. I'm gonna lose it anyways.

I don't want to be a Wonder Wheel murderer.

I don't want to stay because I don't have anyone to play with!

I exercise my patience.

I forbid you! Oh, God!

I forgot it was his week.

I get to open it. It's my present.

I got 16 plants, and my lady.

I got a job. I guess I can be happy about that.

I got a pair of nines.

I got a straight. I almost got a straight.

I got you! You give up?

I got you. I got you. I got you!

I gotta play in the grownup world.

I gotta pull my boots up real high.

I had to let Mr. Geffran...

I hate German.

I hate typing.

I hate you calling me "Scoop." I want to be the editor.

I have a job. Writing a book is a job.

I have an idea. You want to go fishing?

I haven't finished the book. When I do, I'll get the money.

I hope it'll start a trend to solve the unemployment situation.

I hope you have a good explanation for this.

I just love educational toys.

I just want a job.

I just wanted you all to see what U.S. Bought his boy today.

I like him.

I like you.

I love it.

I love you, Daddy. I really love you.

I love you, Jack.

I may be a bastard, Mr. Bates, but l...

I mean, all these people kissing your ass isn't boring?

I mean, you don't throw firecrackers at them.

I mean...

I need?

I only have the boy for one week a year.

I really love you.

I remember she was...

I said, "Mr. Bates, Mr. Morehouse hired him.

I said, "Sure, yes. What'd you think? You know that."

I said, take your pants down. Right here. Right now.

I take a little something so I can sleep, and tonight I took two.

I think he's got a point there.

I think it's the orchestra. Come in. Party's in the back.

I think we have to butter your bread.

I think you're trouble. Mr. Bates doesn't want any trouble.

I think.

I thought three weeks with that shrink would do.

I thought we were talking about your father.

I thought you were world class.

I waited tables in college.

I wanna call you "Scoop."

I want each paper accounted for.

I want my clothes!

I want my clothes!

I want them both here...

I want to be the editor.

I want to see my friend before he goes to work.

I want you to do what's right.

I want you to play with kids.

I want you to take me.

I want you to understand something.

I wanted a pool but Dad said it was dangerous.

I was employed... What was I talking about?

I was just kidding, man.

I was wondering if you'd tell us how you and your wife met.

I went to bed. Is this Jack's?

I will not be denied, Sidney.

I wouldn't think this would tickle a grown man.

I'd like to call the hurry up squad. I've got a good hand.

I'd settle for $400 and a job on The Bugle.

I'll call you "Scoop."

I'll do that. You can eat them.

I'll end up in this room with all you toys for the rest of my life.

I'll get you! There's no way to get away!

I'll kill him. I'll pull his head off. I'll get him!

I'll never doubt your word again. They're murderers!

I'll show him how to do an interview...

I'll sit in your lap. "How you doing?" Hug me. Come on.

I'm a man who gets what he wants by patience.

I'm doing it myself!

I'm doing it myself! I'm doing it myself!

I'm Eric Bates!

I'm fine. How are you?

I'm glad to see you. Look at those bracelets. Where did you get them?

I'm glad you're here. We're gonna have a wonderful week.

I'm going in there because...

I'm gonna kill you.

I'm gonna raise you a dollar in food stamps.

I'm Honey Russell, the D.A.'s wife.

I'm insulted and I'm splitting.

I'm Jack Brown. I'm sorry I messed up your carpet.

I'm looking for Miss Ruby D. Simpson.

I'm not gonna say it anymore.

I'm not gonna vacuum with my beard. That's the '60s. This is the '80s.

I'm not kidding you! There are piranhas in there.

I'm not kidding!

I'm not trouble. My girlfriend, she's trouble.

I'm okay.

I'm pretty good.

I'm so sorry. Thank you very much.

I'm sorry, Mr. Brown! Gosh! He'll never do that again. Please!

I'm sorry, U.S. Goes back to you.

I'm sorry. I was bragging. You liked for me to brag on you.

I'm taking over all of the stores next Christmas.

I'm the king of ghetto hockey. You ain't gonna beat me.

I'm the new cleaning lady.

I'm the new cleaning lady.

I'm the new part time cleaning lady, sir, at the store.

I'm the Wonder Wheel champion of the world!

I'm trying to stop them, but I can't help if you don't have a job.

I'm trying to talk to you.

I'm waiting.

I've been trying to get a job on your newspaper.

I've got something to say.

I've got the key.

I've had enough of this.

I've had enough of your routine.

I've had it! I've had it with you!

If ever two people needed each other, it's you two.

If my father's rotten, does it mean I'll be rotten too?

If they knew it was a fundraiser, we'd be alone.

If they knew this was a fundraiser, we'd be all alone.

If y'all want one for your children, we're taking orders...

If you can't find it, come back to the front again.

If you don't come and finish your dinner...

If you have a friend, you ask them.

If you love him and if you need him, you gotta tell him so.

If you want a friend, you don't buy a friend.

If you're hopeless too, I don't mind.

In reality, any one of these people, with a little persuasion...

In that order. Not all the vegetables at one time.

In the slammer, mammer.

Is everybody like this? Does this go on every day?

Is it about the party? Everything's arranged beautifully.

Is it possible for you to come and spend a few weeks with us...

Is she foxy? What kind of trouble could she be?

Is there no Miss Jackie Brown?

Is this a hypothetical question or is there a lady involved?

Is this a protest?

Isn't that a magnificent arrangement of dominoes?

It Came from the Tub, starring Eric Bates as "It."

It doesn't balance out.

It doesn't even need batteries. Isn't that sweet?

It doesn't matter the compensation. The answer is no!

It doesn't work. That's why it's dangerous.

It hardly covered her.

It might have been a nice trip.

It used to be my pleasure to buy the band uniforms.

It was a little bar outside of Amarillo, Texas.

It was very embarrassing. He's gonna auction off the house.

It works!

It's a little light here. Thank you.

It's a shame to waste that equipment.

It's about Eric.

It's against the law, isn't it?

It's all right with me, big man.

It's always my fault. Well, it wasn't. It was Fancy's.

It's always my toy department! Why can't he get into stereos?

It's called a "wrap party." This is all for you guys.

It's exactly like Cinderella.

It's for real.

It's just a joke.

It's just the sweetest story.

It's Mr. Bates' collection and I'm in charge.

It's not like everybody doesn't know already.

It's only a fault in the electrical system, I'm sure.

It's really something.

It's rewarding. Have a seat.

It's that bad out there?

It's where I might be shortly. I think it's real relevant.

It's your bedtime. Put your toy away and go to sleep.

It's your department.

Its open mindedness.

Jack says life's about people, not about your power.

Jack, get out of here.

Jack, I gave out my last one.

Jack, I'm gonna get you for this!

Jack, now we can buy the house!

Jack, you're asking for it again.

Jack, your army buddy came to my office today.

Jack! Let me out of here! Barkley, you're fired!

Jack... Jack... I'm gonna fall.

Jackie Brown.

Jesus Christ! Are you crazy?

Jesus! Come on, follow that kid!

Jesus! What the...

Just a minute, my friend. I'm gonna take your picture for the paper.

Just a minute!

Just because your dad owns one...

Just bite the end off. And spit it in your hand.

Just get out! Out! Out!

Just playing, Daddy.

Just show her some of your heart, what you're made of.

Just to show you that I have a good heart...

Keep your hands up. Protect yourself at all times.

Keep your hands up. Protect yourself at all times.

Keep your hands up. Protect yourself at all times.

Kids will holler for me. They won't want no teddy bears like you.

Klansman, let's go.

Know what I mean, soul brother?

Know what to do next time you have a party?

Let Carter do it. I want you back here.

Let loose of me.

Let me go! Don't spank me, Jack.

Let me guess. You're the new second floor sprinkler system.

Let me say something.

Let's get out of here!

Let's get out.

Let's go play the game.

Let's go up there, man, and take a rest.

Let's say every goal I get, you have to stay another year.

Let's see, hand, football.

Listen, I'll be the editor and you be the reporter.

Listen, you gotta be nice to her.

Litigious.

Look around! You kidding me?

Look out!

Look out!

Look out!

Looks like a job for me.

Lord, have mercy. Morehouse done flipped his wig.

Man, no jive. This is... That's good.

Maybe Lord Cavendish should get better at pool.

Me too. Let's go fishing.

Me, the wind up asshole. Yes, that's me.

Me, U. S?

Meet my friend Clarence.

Met him in a theater queue or somewhere.

Mine had four eggs on it.

Miracle Wonder Wheel! The best one!

Miss Jackie Brown.

Money? You're not hearing me. I was embarrassed and humiliated!

Morning, Barkley!

Move it.

Mr. Bates, please don't shoot me!

Mr. Bates, sir...

Mr. Bates!

Mr. Bates'll get a lot of mileage out of that photo.

Mr. Brown, I'll make it pleasant. I will scrub your back.

Mr. Brown, maybe I could use your talents on The Bugle.

Mr. Brown, please!

Mr. Brown, we're looking for a woman to do a little part time cleaning...

Mr. Morehouse, you gonna be all right?

Mr. Morehouse.

Mr. Morehouse.

My bedroom's over here.

My father will tell you to drop your pants, and you're gonna do it.

My wife.

Next year, he'll have two weeks.

Nice to meet you. You better be right.

Nice Wonder Wheel! Stop!

No hole.

No next month. No next year.

No now. No tomorrow. No next week.

No now. No tomorrow. No next week. I'm not...

No physical contact. We'll lose our license.

No tigers, leopards, lions, rabbits.

No, as my friend.

No, Eric, no. Not today. Not now. Not ever.

No, he made me do it.

No, he's not playing with me. I'm his son's toy, Eric.

No, I can do it. I can do it, Mr. Bates.

No, in our newspaper.

No, my salad.

No, no. Do you see that kid over there?

No, now Jack... Daddy, we were...

No, sir. Not me.

No, these other people got to eat.

No, you don't!

No! As you say, you know?

No.

No. Answer's no.

No. But I'm definitely gonna tell her that I love her with all my heart.

No. I'll be truthful with you.

No. Running away, what is that?

No. The job. I'll tell you what to do. Just a moment.

No. This is my house.

No. Who?

Nobody throws a garden party like U.S. Bates.

Not just about Daddy, but everything else that's wrong.

Not on the paper...

Not until you finish your meal!

Not you. You can take a bath in my room and I'll wash you.

Now get the camera ready.

Now he won't come back no matter how much you pay.

Now just a minute here!

Now tell me something. Are you brown all over?

Now turn out the light. Let's get out of here.

Now why don't you get a job? And don't touch me.

Now, Eric, our stomachs digest our food a lot better...

Now, Eric, you get in the tub. And you, out!

Now, we can legally protest. We are...

Now, what do you want to do first?

Now!

Of all the things in the store, you wanted a friend?

Off the record?

Oh, come on, Jack!

Oh, God! Has it been a year already?

Oh, I don't know. Play?

Oh, man, am I tired! Thank God this is over.

Oh, my God! He's gonna hit that man!

Oh, she's a legal staff for the local Klanwatch.

Oh, sugar. I like it like that.

Oh, this is great.

Oh, U.S., it's good to see you.

Oh. State or federal?

Okay, duck.

Okay, pilgrim.

Okay, son. I'll see you.

Okay! 36, 44, on blue!

Okay? There you go, to the end of the line.

Okay. Stop, Wonder Wheel!

Old Democrats don't usually support young Liberals.

On six. On three. On two.

One week with me, one week with you.

One, two, one, two... Thank you.

One, two, three, that's all! I was robbed! This guy is...

Open the door, you bastard!

Otto's can drive a Cadillac.

Paper. Free paper.

Patience.

Play bingo or something.

Please don't!

Please get some pants on before Mr. Bates sees you, okay?

Please hurry.

Please, Daddy. Please get me Jack back. Please!

Please, open this envelope. Just look at it.

Please.

Please.

Plenty of time for that.

Pointing at me. What's he telling them?

Police department?

Power to the people. Right on.

Pretend I'm Eric, and I'm home for a week.

Probably a short circuited wire or something.

Probably.

Propellers? Is that what they were?

Propellers.

Pure horse meat. Doesn't shrivel in the skillet.

Put some Alpo coupons in. That's good food.

Quit calling me "Scoop."

Read about how U.S. Bates found his wife one day...

Register at the desk if you want to take the class.

Report immediately to the office. Repeat, immediately.

Reporters make people talk, if they're any good.

Right next to a motel.

Schatzie, get a hammer.

Scrawny, scared...

Senator Newcomb.

Senator, darling.

Senator, we agreed to keep this under our hats, remember?

She didn't have to take him down and get him embarrassed.

She loves to fight. A good fighter.

She loves to take on chemical companies. Like that.

She was a little bitty thing.

She was the newest, the youngest...

She won't help me open my present. She won't give me a hammer.

She'd really like you if you'd show her what you're made of.

She'll look in your face, check out your eyes.

She's busy. Come back about 3 o'clock.

She's in a loony bin in Colorado Springs.

She's like America.

She's pretty wonderful. Probably what your father would call a pinko.

She's right. You shouldn't bathe with a naked man.

She's very litigious.

Show her how much money you have.

Shut up before I let you go.

Sir? Sir? Did you read that paper?

Sit in Daddy's chair.

Sit up, Eric.

Six Flags? Delta Queen? New Orleans?

So Daddy bought some piranhas.

So get a job and get out, Jack.

So they arranged to play a game of billiards.

So? You're getting paid.

Some people exercise their tibias or fibulas...

Somebody going to your school?

Somebody's cow got eaten.

Sorry to hear that. Try talking to him.

Sorry, Mr. Bates.

Sorry, sir.

Sorry.

Spoilsport.

Stand over here.

Stanley!

Step in my office.

Stop being so tough. They don't like that.

Stop making faces. Leave him alone.

Stop the Wonder Wheel!

Stop! Don't go out that door!

Stuff that pollutes the world. And she loves the underdog.

Swimming, picnicking, leaving their beer cans all over the place.

Take a little picture. And make it good.

Take a look at the newspaper distributed by Eric and Mr. Brown.

Take a seat.

Take it easy, Fancy.

Take them in and book them.

Take those firecrackers and... Never mind.

Take your pants down.

Tell her how you really feel. Take a chance.

Tell her you're from the Bates Millionaire Club.

Ten thousand dollars!

Thank you for coming. My secretary will give you a parking validation.

Thank you, Jack. Thank you.

Thank you, Mr. Bates.

Thank you, my lords.

Thank you. That's more than the floor is.

That dirty sucker!

That has no significance here. Understand?

That her full name?

That was my dinner? That was my dinner, Shirley Temple.

That'll surprise a lot of your voters.

That's a good idea.

That's about the only thing he does understand.

That's all right, Roberts. Oh, Mr. Brown!

That's an ashtray.

That's highway robbery.

That's it!

That's me. What do you want?

That's not an ashtray, you asshole.

That's reality.

That's the hard part.

That's U.S., not "you ass."

That's very good. You're what we call "overqualified."

That's what I've done to myself. I sold out to Morehouse, you know?

The air hockey game. Come on.

The auction is tomorrow!

The best...

The Bugle. They aren't hiring any blacks.

The first week, a cow went in there. All gone.

The Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan.

The hard part is loving somebody with your heart.

The house belongs to the bank...

The Klan really thanks you.

The last one in is a rotten egg.

The next phase is the press.

The only black people you hire do windows, mop floors...

The place was called the Fly By Nite. The motif was airplanes.

The question is, what the hell you doing here?

The storm is moving southwest...

The Toy. Oh, man. All right!

The U.S. Bates' house? Clifford, hold it down.

The word I get is that they're going to indict you.

There are five, six puppies.

There isn't any job on the paper.

There you go. Good boy.

There's a job at Haley's Car Wash.

There's a lot. I got two dogs.

There's no reason for you to go back to camp.

There's nothing here. No piranhas!

There's only boys in my school, dummy.

There's parking people out front, and they'll laugh.

There's six seconds or we don't win the Super Bowl.

These old things?

They gave you the mortgage.

They got a new toy to sell called the "Jack Brown."

They wouldn't talk to us. They work for your dad.

They're in the dryer, and they're all wet.

They're not selling you anymore.

They're nuts.

They've come for the pajamas.

This box.

This got settled in the Civil War. You can't have slaves.

This is better than Disneyland. You know that?

This is Eric. Eric, he has agreed.

This is great.

This is it!

This is light. Thank you.

This is still light.

This is the senator. Photographer!

Ticklish!

Time is money.

To aggravate you and me, I say.

To the airport, Mr. Bates?

Truth has nothing to do with reality.

Truth, justice and the American way do not work for me, okay?

Two five is excellent.

Two more months, my pension would've taken care of my kids.

U.S. Came through that door...

Up yours, you mother!

Use his camera. He has a photocopier in his room.

Very pleased to meet you.

Very sweaty hands.

Wait a minute. Let's not be too hasty.

Wait a minute. Those aren't my friends. Is there a problem?

Want to keep an eye on this for me?

Watch it, watch it, watch it! Tricker! One year. That's one.

Watch the cars.

Way to go, Jack! All right!

We agreed to keep that under our hat, remember?

We could interview Fancy, Barkley and everybody.

We don't like our waitresses to have hairy lips.

We gotta go.

We gotta win this one.

We had a deal.

We have stupid parties with them all the time.

We just want to rent you for a little while.

We met at the Bates' party. I want to talk to you a bit.

We really could put out a paper every week.

We used to have all the hoi polloi from town in this stream.

We were about to make love. You can join in.

We'll go to London, Paris, Rome.

We'll make even more tomorrow and sell them...

We're not doing a newspaper, remember?

We're not getting back in the bus.

We've got four more days. What'll we do?

Welcome home!

Well played. Congratulations.

Well, '79, it must have been.

Well, Bates came over again and he won me.

Well, do you ever tell her, "I love you with all my heart"?

Well, Eric...

Well, I'm just gonna take a shower, U.S.

Well, U.S. Was on his way home from Colorado, visiting Numero Two.

Well, we need a press. It's the only press in town, isn't it?

Well, were you?

Well, where are you? At U.S. Bates' house?

Well, you know, go to bed... Make it.

Were you bad? What you were gave a new meaning to the word "bad."

Were you ever a thief?

What are you doing here, you asshole?

What are you doing in there?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? Somebody could get hurt.

What are you gonna say? "Hey, God! Life's unfair."

What did you turn the light on for?

What did your boobs look like before?

What do I have to do with him? Take him to Six Flags?

What do you do with your...

What do you do...

What do you think, Mr. O'Brien?

What I have to tell you is important!

What I was doing in Colorado is irrelevant.

What is he saying?

What is this dog thing? Nobody wants...

What morning crew?

What people will do for money.

What sort of a position are you looking for?

What the hell is that?

What the hell is this?

What the...!

What you're offering me isn't a job. It's an insult.

What, is he sick? Nuts, right? What are we talking about?

What?

What? Animals mate.

What? I can't hear you, Mr. Bates.

What's Angela like?

What's going on in here?

What's going on? What do you mean?

What's going on? Where you going?

What's her name?

What's she like?

What's so dangerous about...

What's the matter? I'm in the back.

What's wrong?

What's wrong? Are you okay?

What's wrong? What happened? Are you disappointed...

What's wrong? Why the hell did you pick me?

When you grow up, you'll control South Central Louisiana.

When you were in England, sir.

Whenever I drill an oil well, buy a cable system...

Where would you like it? Near the window?

Who do they think they are?

Who put that in?

Who we gonna tell, God?

Why are you so happy about it?

Why are you upsetting Angela, telling her you're selling my house?

Why don't you call her?

Why don't you sit down? You don't want this job.

Why won't anybody tell me?

Why, sure! Let me get fixed.

Why, you nitwit!

Why? Does it mean anything to you that I don't want to stay?

Why? I don't want to be in the picture.

Why...

With some kind of metal things on the front.

Women like it when you're sincere. They respond too.

Wonder Wheel, no. Wonder Wheel...

Wonder Wheel! Stop! I admit it, it works!

Wonder Wheel.

Wonder Wheel.

Wonderful. Splendid.

Worse.

Worse.

Would you have me stay or go?

Would you like to come see my train, friend?

Wrap him up.

Wrap who up? I don't get wrapped.

Writing a book is a cop out, Jack. Now get a job.

Yeah, and you can take pictures.

Yeah, but the guys at school say...

Yeah, but... I love her with my heart.

Yeah, I talk to him. But he won't talk to me.

Yeah, it'll irk him.

Yeah.

Yeah. No. Instruments? No.

Yeah. She goes to St. Mary's.

Yes, darling. You're a writer. A very good writer.

Yes, it's his fault.

Yes, Mr. Morehouse. Jack, we're gonna buy a house!

Yes, sir!

Yes, the laundry room. Why don't you just follow me?

Yes, this is his breakfast.

You acted like money was important.

You can make them talk.

You can spread it on bread.

You can talk dirty, if you like. I'll jump on top of you.

You can't arrest me. My name is...

You can't deal with me. I was very good.

You can't... I can't be bought.

You didn't ask me what I'd settle for.

You didn't ask.

You didn't believe me, right?

You didn't know that?

You dirty son of a bitch!

You don't dump stuff on their head.

You don't know anything about running a newspaper.

You don't order your friends around.

You don't throw their food on the floor.

You earn a friend. You know, with love and trust.

You go up to her, very gently. Take her by the hand...

You gonna deal with what happened? Your wife embarrassed me!

You gonna jump her bones? Are you gonna jump her bones?

You got a Kodak you haven't taken out of the box.

You got that, Scoop?

You gotta spend some quiet time at the hospital.

You have to deal with reality.

You haven't even been to the zoo.

You kinky little devil, you!

You know what he's gonna say? "Tough titty."

You know what I like about this outfit, Mr. Morehouse?

You know who you're taking a photo with?

You know, I don't believe you know how to tell a story.

You know, I have a new helicopter.

You know, if you were a little less hysterical...

You know, that kid loves you.

You know, the morning crew comes in at 8.

You know, we could tell. We could get even.

You know...

You look like an Eskimo Pie. No, I've got it. Al Jolson.

You love a friend, you know? You earn a friend.

You made me laugh. I wanted a friend who made me laugh.

You mean, physically?

You never cease to amaze me.

You never even touched water.

You put it across the top. Big headline.

You ready?

You ready? I'm gonna win, right?

You remember my pal and fellow Klan member, Clancy.

You said anything in the store. Well, he was in the store.

You said I could have anything.

You saved my life. So I guess I owe you one.

You see, I noticed...

You see, we're part of Mr. Bates' family here.

You show them, Jack!

You sure? Listen to me, you're something else, man.

You think that's funny? What do you think of this?

You told me you were good. I believe you...

You wanna use your father's press to print our newspaper?

You want me to starve to death?

You want to be ready, right?

You want to get off here?

You want to live to be 10? Do you?

You, your father and me gotta be the strangest people on earth.

You'd better be right. Let's get back in the van.

You'd have to come in two days, on Tuesdays and Fridays...

You'll get yours.

You'll give a decent burial to Wonder Wheel?

You'll have to practice on someone else.

You'll learn the hard way, laddie.

You're a better person than that. Give the man a break.

You're doing it by yourself, champ.

You're fired!

You're gonna quit because I was winning? You hate to lose?

You're hopelessly locked in. You can't avert it.

You're in for it.

You're lucky it's not a cat.

You're made of a lot, you know.

You're Mr. Brown's...

You're not a reporter. You're a crook.

You're not going to get it.

You're not going to sell it, right?

You're not starting a sit in, are you?

You're nuts, but I love you.

You're the one who doesn't know how to tell a story.

You're up early this morning. Or didn't you go to bed last night?

You're very strong for a little lady.

You've got the key? Why didn't you tell me?

Your bourbon, my lords.

Your dinner.

Your father is very strange. Now take the picture.

Your father said...

Your hand?

Your head's in this American dream, but it doesn't work for me.

Your son came along and asked them...

Your son loves you. You gotta hug him.

$10,000. Ten...

$400. For babysitting?

$2500 a week! Get off the phone!

$2500 for a couple of hours? Sure. Why not?

$3000. I wonder if Eric knows...

1500. Deal.

2000. Now, wait a minute.

3000. Two five.

A jail? Yes!

All you waiting on the job? Yeah. Get your bicycle.

Are you crazy? Yes, but trust me.

Are you serious? No kidding around? No.

Ask me how much I'm making. Get off the phone.

At the Bugle. So what?

Before the end of spring vacation? Tonight.

Boring. Boring?

But it's the truth. The truth?

But this is my week. I knew you wouldn't let me.

But why? To play with, he says.

Bye. Bye bye, Eric.

Can I have some air? Who are you?

Can't you go faster? I'm hurrying.

Clean this up. Yes, thank you.

Cleaning lady get fired? Start Monday, in the newsroom.

Come back. The game's not over. I'm not playing.

Come on now. The water's ready. No!

Come on, I just... Come on, Scoop. Hey, wait!

Come on. "Come on."

Could you fix me a cheeseburger? What's going on?

Daddy? It's just for your son, sir.

Don't move that over here. Why not?

Eric is responsible for this? And Jack Brown, sir.

Evening. Evening. Have a nice evening.

Everyone knows it's true. They're lies if I say so.

Fancy, you look so good tonight. Hi, sugar pie!

Fancy. Wait until I'm done, U.S.

Finish your dinner. Get me a hammer.

For every goal? Okay. That's one year!

For the week? Sure.

Foul! Foul! Foul! What game?

Get off the phone! Just ask me.

Go for the tents! I'll get the other side!

Good choice. You'll have a wonderful time.

Got a license to drive on the steps? I don't need one. I'm Eric Bates.

Grab him. Probably on drugs. Bet he got out of prison.

Hang on, wizard! Let's go to Oz. Let me off!

He might be armed and dangerous! n****!

He only has the kid for a week. $10,000?

He wants you to stay. He wants to see if you can make me.

He'd like to take you home with him. Why?

He's bright. I see the resemblance.

He's gonna auction off the house. My parents gave it to me.

He's just wonderful. You're paid to play, not to talk.

Here they come again! Do your thing, Jack!

Hey! Watch my car! He's high on marijuana, I bet!

Hi, foxy lady. Thank you very much.

Hold the noise down. Who the hell was that?

How are you, U. S? Pretty good.

How you doing? Hi, baby.

Hug me and say, "I love you." I love you.

I am a writer, right? He is.

I can't? In your pajamas?

I didn't hear anything. What's going on?

I don't care. Get in! You don't...

I got it. Not you. We need a part time woman.

I hate liver. I only understand German.

I have a job for you. You mind? Not at all.

I have to? Well, if you value your job.

I know what I want. He likes it.

I love him. Frankly, I don't give a damn.

I love you, Jack. I love you too, Eric.

I mean, come here. No way.

I mind. I don't want him to get angry here.

I need something that fits. I bought some for Barkley.

I really don't care. He's one of our cleaning people.

I wanna stay with you. No!

I want him. He's not for sale.

I want my clothes. Mr. Brown. Now sit down for a minute.

I was employed by an English lord. Lord who, sir?

I was wrong! Was I bad?

I wasn't aware that we sold them. I wanted you to know...

I wasn't ready. So? I make the rules!

I will draw a bath for you. Get it ready!

I'll kill you! Two five is fine.

I'll pay you on an hourly basis. Sir.

I'll see you in 10 years. 10 years? Who needs it then?

I'll take care of it. This is Eric. Nice to meet you.

I'll take it. Is it that bad out there?

I'm embarrassed! That wasn't remotely amusing.

I'm not kidding! "I want my clothes! I'm not kidding!"

I'm trying to help. You're not.

I'm U.S. Bates' son! You got a jail around here?

I'm U.S. Bates' toy. I'm not stoned. Let's play. Get off the phone!

I'm working for U.S. Bates. "I'm working for U.S. Bates."

I've got some friends. Wait!

I've got to talk to you. But I'm busy.

It took me over a month to set it up. A month? Wow!

It's great. Look at all... Don't touch!

It's none of your damn business. What's it like?

It's the senator! Senator Newcomb. Congratulations!

It's your son. Excuse me.

Jack, look out! I'll give you an Eskimo Pie!

Jack! What?

Jack. How about a one on one, little man?

Jack. Let me have it.

Jesus! Aren't we full of surprises?

Just a minute. How old are you? Nine.

Know what's on that floor? No.

Let me see your straight. A pair of sevens.

Let's blow it up right away. The black man.

Let's do something interesting. Watch this.

Let's get him! Holy shit!

Let's get them again! Let's go back for another try.

Let's go play a game. "Let's go play a game."

Let's talk. What are you doing here?

Lf you're paid enough, you'll stay. That's not the question.

Look out! You can't get away!

Maybe they'd fit you. Maybe.

Meet you later. My room is the second door...

Megan. Megan. You like her?

Morning. Good morning.

Move it! I'll get you!

Mr. U.S., phone. No calls. Time is money.

My fault, sir. No, my fault.

My lady. Put this on.

My little dove, it's bath time. I'm busy.

No, gotta make a plate. Is there anything you don't know?

No! No! Put me down!

No. Jack. Oh, no! I'll tell your father!

Not for you. It's a free country.

Not remotely amusing. You're marking my arm, sugar.

Not until you eat. Get me a hammer.

Now! This minute! Not without my toy.

Oh, my God! Do my back.

On the left. I'm Eric Bates! Put me down!

Ones that owe you and ones you owe. I've heard enough about Jack.

Or something we don't even sell. We sell everything.

Piranhas are South American. I'm not going in there.

Play with me! He's wonderful.

Please, Mr. Brown! No.

Police! Hands up! Let's get out of here!

Put it on my dad's bill. Okay, kid.

Put that pie down! I didn't throw the first pie.

Race you up to the top of the hill. Okay.

Ready for what? Black experience.

Remember me? I'm fired, right?

Right, Jack? Yeah, we were just playing a game.

Say goodbye! Come on! He's a wonderful...

Say it louder. I love you!

See you, Eric. Thanks very much. You're welcome.

Senator... Later, Bates.

She sues people? Like in court.

Should we do something? What else can go wrong?

Shut up! What?

Slave sound too crass? I'm serious.

So what? He has very sweaty hands.

Son of a... You can't leave!

Sorry. Sir.

Take it easy. See you later!

Take this. What can I get?

Tell you what. Shave. Shave?

Thanks, pal. Take it easy. So long.

That was fun. Please. I have a headache.

That's Fancy Bates. His daughter?

That's it! That is great!

That's it! That's it!

That's me. Miss Jackie Brown.

That's my tomato salad. I'm sorry.

That's not the way out. Go get him, Daddy.

That's one trick you won't manage. You wanna bet?

That's one year. You cheat!

That's what I meant. Let's start at 1000 and work up.

The black man! He wants the black man.

The kid needs a shrink. I agree with you.

There's a black man in this house? It's only for a week.

There's a party about to happen. Thank you.

They're raising money for the KKK. Lf you ever loved me, trust me.

This is fun, Jack. Fun?

This is it! Put me down!

Tim, Toys. Jack, Windows.

Two five. Fine, but for that kind of money...

Two seven. Two five is my top.

Two years. I wasn't ready.

Wait. What's your name? Jack Brown.

Want to take a nap? Yes.

We gotta talk. U.S., can't you take a joke?

We wouldn't want that, would we? Pardon me.

Well, here they are now. Hi, U.S. How are you?

Well, Rasputin, what's next? I want to go back to school.

What am I supposed to do? How do you turn off this machine?

What are you doing? Wow, this is... Are you kidding me?

What did he say? What a great man.

What do you think we're in line for? The bus.

What if I don't want to be? You can't do much about it.

What if I tell your dad? He doesn't care.

What is your hourly rate? I don't have...

What the hell is that? Help!

What'll we call it? Paste this down there.

What's going on? It's my fault.

What's Money Bucks gonna think? I can deal with my daddy.

Where you going? Clifford, I'm here for a job.

Where you going? Home.

Who's that? Angela. Jesus H. Christ!

Why did you stick up for me? I want you to stay.

Why did you stick up for me? I want you to stay.

Why did you stop? My dominoes just went down.

Why not? Because he's a person.

Why? Are you that dumb, kid?

Wife numero three. You think she is ready?

Would you stop about the book? Angela, you know I'm a writer.

Yes, there is. You're in big trouble.

Yes, well, bye bye. Bye bye, sir.

Yes, you two. Okay.

Yes. He's not a toy.

Yes. That's my friend.

You can get lost, Clifford. I like that. Get lost.

You can't buy a human, Eric. Why not?

You can't talk. He's clean!

You could've come to Houston with me. As your toy?

You give me your word? Absolutely. Off the record.

You guys are serious! No jive.

You know it's mine. We haven't paid in six months.

You know that job I offered you? On the newspaper?

You look good enough to eat. Say, what is all this?

You remember Terry Gay? My secretary. I sure do!

You trying to kill the kid? No! I'm trying to kill you.

You want me to go with him? Lf you wouldn't mind.

You want to talk to me? I don't know if you remember me.

You won't be sorry, U.S. "You ass." You're allowed.

You, come with me. You can't pay me enough money!

You'll like him. I'm crazy about him.

You're fired. Are the FCC, IRS, or FBI after you?

You're not gonna win. Lf you win, you can go home with pay.

You're okay, "us." I'm okay, me too.

Your old lady won't mind. My old lady? No.

...about the wonderful job you've done with U.S.'s son.

...all you gotta do is look at me.

...and put it into newspaper form.

...and put your arms around him and talk to him?

...and sort of help us with our son, Eugene?

...and the worst waitress in the bar.

...and you're a journalist.

...and your honest intentions.

...because I am reality.

...because I had a...

...difficult morning. You had a difficult morning?

...doesn't mean you can run one, does it?

...gently. You kinda pull her to you and you jump on her bones.

...get rid of him.

...had a bit of luck and he won a herd of cattle.

...he's right.

...head of accounting, go.

...I am living proof.

...I'll give you a ticket for some mouthwash, because you got halitosis.

...if Eric blows his nose, you wipe it.

...if we eat some vegetables, some starch and some meat.

...if you don't make it with a girl a week, you'll go nuts.

...in my office, now.

...it certainly is a pleasure to have you.

...just playing.

...like the archangel Gabriel.

...open a store, it's for you.

...so there's really no problem... Mr. Bates! Eric!

...so we're gonna start a newspaper. Let's shove off.

...so you wouldn't be frightened if you saw him.

...that I didn't drown?

...that I either do what he wants or I can look for another job.

...thing?

...to serve a staff luncheon.

...to wrap me up, which they did, in a box.

...unless you come up with a quick 10 grand.

...wearing some kind of rayon like uniform.

...what kind of bastard he's getting.

...will say what I want them to say...

...wobbling on platform sandals.

...you put a whoopee cushion under me.

...you won't open that until tomorrow.

...you'd suggest I pay you what I pay my reporters for a week.

"Come on, Dad, let's sit down! Come on!"

"Dad, I haven't seen you in a while! I wanna sit on your lap!"

"Danger. Do not touch."

"Goodbye! I want my clothes!"

"Got some for Barkley."

"Jack Brown Sold Out Today to U.S. Bates, as Expected."

"Mommy, I want a Jack Brown wind up. Suzy's can play basketball.

"Pops, how you doing? Boy, I had a great time all year."

$10,000? For a week or the rest of my life?