Mozart in the Jungle - Season 1 Edit

A beautiful song.

A beekeeping apiary for our rooftop,

A big loud one.

A composer suppressed by the Nazis?

A ditty?

A genius with a 20 inch waist.

A great, great night. You look lovely.

A green... No, no. She's Ana Maria.

A heartfelt thanks to some

A little bit different.

A little bit faster, all right?

A little bit more gently?

A little bit more sound, more bow.

A little Inderal just to take the edge off?

A Lorée Royal 125?

A man could meditate or marinate?

A man of superior talent will go to pieces

A member who's been therefor more than two years

A modeling agent or something,

A musical podcast where classical music is our forte.

A nice cocktail of Grey Goose and a mild steroid.

A period contemporary mind fuck, you know?

A proper return on my investment.

A quarter ounce and a couple of Z bars.

A real evil eye?

A stamp?

A start? What, are you gonna become like a big model now?

A toxic waste facility?

A whole fucking cavalcade of weirdos.

A youthful point of view.

A zippy car, yeah.

A zippy car.

Aah! Aah! Aah!

About lowering the base salary

About the social media proposals.

About this refrigerator situation?

About, you know, Rodrigo and the orchestra.

Absolutely, dude. Straight from Athens.

Absolutely, if they're already hot

Absolutely, maestro.

Absolutely, Maestro.

Absolutely.

Actually,

Actually, I was talking about the Tchaikovsky.

Adios.

After all these years,

After all these years.

After all,

After all, Mr. Beiben is a good friend of Thomas Pembridge.

After you, maestro.

Again.

Ah ha.

Ah, and swift like a gazelle.

Ah, good.

Ah, Hailey. Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me,

Ah, it's okay. I'll pay it. I'll pay it personally.

Ah, man, it's funny, you know?

Ah, my whole world is falling apart.

Ah, thank God you've arrived.

Ah! Thomas. Thomas.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. Here you are,

Ah. Okay, the glasses stay on.

Ah. There.

Ah...

Ahem.

Ahh!

Ahh. I'm mortified. I'm gutted.

Ai, dios.

Ai, Gloria,

Ai.

Alex is a ballet dancer here in New York.

Alex texted me and told me to come over after the show.

Alex, Hailey. Hailey, Alex.

Alice, my name is Rodrigo.

Alice.

All good.

All I can hear is an egomaniac with a fucking parrot.

All I ever knew was darkness.

All I'm saying is it's beautiful out.

All right, don't answer that.

All right, Duncan, I think that's enough for today.

All right, going in.

All right, let's go. Right this way.

All right, listen, Gloria, slap me.

All right, okay. Everybody shut up.

All right, thanks so much for coming.

All right, then. It's very nice to meet you, Elizabeth.

All right? Don't do anything you'd be ashamed of.

All right? Okay. Ciao.

All right.

All right.

All right. Have fun with your lessons.

All right. No worries, darling.

All the blood and all the sweat

All the oysters, all the foie gras, everything,

All the plates, it's down here in the dining room.

All the time that we have for today.

All this gossip about bringing Thomas back.

All: Hailey! Hailey! Hailey!

All: Mozart.

All: Rodrigo!

All: Whoo!

Alpaca farm. They're beyond cute,

Also not allowed to eat anything

Also playful.

Also, I haven't even really brushed my teeth yet.

Also, they're into ensembles.

Also, we're not going to eat this bread.

Although the vast majority of you are bourgeois elite.

Although, I must say,

Although, I understand you sometimes have trouble

Always.

Am I too late?

Amen.

Amore...

An extra oboe player?

An invoice for $80,000 overtime,

An oboe lesson at 6:30 in the morning.

An old factory can become an opera house.

Ana Maria, change is okay.

Ana Maria, she's right.

Ana Maria, thank you.

Ana Maria.

Ana Maria.

And

And [laughs] she ignored me.

And 2, they slept together, like, months ago,

And a bunch of parking tickets.

And a damn nifty dresser.

And a good daughter, and, like,

And a sauna on 3 if you crazy kids need it.

And a sensation of Newport,

And a view up Oedipus' toga

And actually, um, this round's gonna be on me.

And Ana Maria, she plays with...

And Ana Maria, she...

And anyway, if you get that job,

And as a gesture of thanks for tomorrow's performance,

And as I'm sure you know, maestro...

And because we play in the August Memorial Symphony Hall

And being constantly worried I'm gonna sprain my ankle or some shit.

And being fucking rude to people?

And Bruno, Bruno Cassel,

And bury your face in the warmth

And Chopin.

And do us both a favor.

And don't call me ma'am, you little douche bags.

And don't get mad.

And don't worry. I have him under control.

And each day, you drag more and more people

And Easter egg hunts here all my life.

And everything just stopped.

And faithless.

And figure that shit out?

And focus on your breathing.

And for dreaming, for dreaming...

And for that alone, and a donation of $300,000,

And fuck up your precious lungs

And Gloria,

And go hide in a neighbor's closet

And go over a few ideas for the upcoming season.

And going on road trips with your boss.

And Hank had an accident on your bed too.

And happiness.

And he invested the inheritance,

And he thinks he's awesome, but I think you can destroy him.

And he wants to play you in "showdown,"

And he was into Wicca and sexual humiliation, and stuff,

And hopefully one day I can say that you are my friend

And I am here to guide you through that process.

And I can listen to Sibelius.

And I can listen to this orchestra.

And I could frame it

And I could hang it on my wall,

And I don't consider the erosion

And I don't give a shit what anyone else thinks about it. "

And I don't think that I could adequately care

And I fell asleep.

And I have never seen

And I have the honor today of conducting you.

And I have to make a bold statement.

And I just... I got to focus right now.

And I like, turned to my mom and I said,

And I may have found a little inspiration, too.

And I need to ask you point blank.

And I said, "Mommy, where's my little black stick?"

And I see you playing your cute little piccolo...

And I wanted to see if there was a way

And I will have a seizure of some kind,

And I will not stand in front of this third rate orchestra

And I wish I could be playing my oboe for him.

And I wish... I wish I could take this check

And I'll sleep in his?

And I'm behind you with my... my little piccolo.

And I'm going to lose my job again.

And I'm going to make bank.

And I'm not gonna tell anybody about it.

And I'm sure you play flawlessly.

And I'm willing to make sacrifices.

And if you don’t hurry up, Hailey,

And is Only Bears Allowed a reliable source?

And it is my duty as a musician to look after her.

And it is not third rate.

And it was...

And it's getting a little bit stuffy.

And late is unacceptable.

And make sure it's wet.

And Ms. Alicia's in charge of my son's homeroom.

And must be brought home to receive medical care.

And needed a dancer for a body spray ad,

And no one can play it.

And not allowing me to see.

And now will you please warmly welcome

And on those notes there will be different numbers.

And our pension payout in half?

And out of the blue you just...

And placed them amongst the finest on the world stage.

And playing selected pieces in complete darkness. "

And please, I need your help.

And put the bombilla, the straw.

And right beside her there is an empty chair.

And Rodrigo, and Rod... Rodrigo! It's full of Rodrigo!

And shake. Shake, shake, shake it very hard. Shake.

And she just, like, fucking hates my guts,

And shouting motherfucker in front of the whole orchestra?

And shoving that breakfast burrito

And shut the fuckin' door.

And single to boot.

And so his mom got it all,

And so sometimes we must navigate new waters.

And so...

And some of that rubs off on my students,

And some of us are pigs.

And speaking of sharp, I'm sitting across from

And tell me my next appointment can't wait any longer.

And thank you for this beautiful suitcase.

And that slut Cynthia is nobody's wife, darling.

And that wool's like gold.

And that...

And that's net the damages

And that's what matters.

And that's what you're doing to me.

And the bed thing, I feel like he just kinda got used to it.

And the coats and the dresses on hangers?

And the darkness of the sweaters

And the deductibles for dependents,

And the hostess is working my shaft, my balls,

And the mate, for example, you can help me make it.

And the money will flow, I promise you.

And the next I’m transcribing a concerto from 200 years ago.

And the night I got married.

And the photo shoot?

And the reporter mentioned that our boy Rodrigo

And the symphony will suddenly be filled with sorority girls

And the tears and the...

And the viola section was too allegro.

And the, uh, tagetes lucida...

And then a tiny check from the New York Symphony

And then Carlotta Di Gozzi...

And then chomp...

And then create a steady stream of air.

And then figuring out how to be a good roommate

And then get ready to make some beautiful music.

And then go out, okay?

And then he died,

And then I pass out.

And then it looks like a funeral. No?

And then of dear Thomas from '95 to '98

And then of Thomas again.

And then the horns came a bar late,

And then they never did anything with their lives.

And then they're going to try to drive a wedge

And then three weeks later I woke her up

And then what?

And then you're going to want to inhale

And there are refreshments at hand.

And there was this girl and she was playing the oboe,

And they may still be boning.

And they were fans of mine,

And this may not be common knowledge, but,

And those are the woodwinds.

And to bring you to the performance.

And to see you so changed.

And tonight I want you to explore,

And toxic waste dumps.

And under no circumstances,

And was originally called the hautbois.

And we came up with a killer color coded system

And we can all drink it together?

And we got him.

And we have to go now.

And we weren't able to perceive

And we will... we will succeed together.

And we'll have Sibelius to keep us company.

And we're just now at a place where we're looking to get some feedback.

And we're not there yet.

And we've only got one room left at the inn.

And what am I going to tell my mother?

And what, perchance, do you want me to play?

And when I finish,

And when you finish, call me, okay?

And when you return, I will be here, and...

And who knows, you know?

And yeah, he, uh, scouted me for the gig.

And you and your guest will be well cared for.

And you are not ready.

And you can blame me if in the short term we don't get there,

And you cannot even see it,

And you could really have anyone that you wanted.

And you have a life, and you have an oboe.

And you hear a young person and play her flute so beautifully.

And you of all people should understand what goes into this.

And you really sacrifice to be the best that you can be,

And you see an institution.

And you still need to sign the back of the check to get the money.

And you want me to fire him?

And you will lose your job...

And you, okay, yes, please. Just put yourself there.

And you.

And you're obviously in love with him.

And you're the only shot I have at coming any closer to this.

And your technique with a bow.

And, I mean, you guys are not used to give it

And, like, Philip Glass supposedly

And, maestro, conduct!

And, maestro, I hope I don't disappoint you

And, Mrs. Sheiffelbein, would you mind?

And, of course, the critics tended to agree.

And, uh, this is your suit.

And, uh, you're excellent with your piccolo.

And, um,

And, um, I'll find you.

And, um, she got me one and that was that.

And, um, then eventually I found the other aliens.

And, you know, hey,

And, you know, Winslow Elliott,

And...

And...

And... great inside.

Anecdotal evidence and my personal scientific research

Anna Maria has to play the Sibelius violin concerto.

Anna Maria, look into my eyes.

Anna Maria.

Anna Maria.

Anna Maria...

Another souvenir.

Any questions?

Any questions?

Anything else?

Anything I could say right now, so...

Anything zippy is good.

Anything?

Anyway, I am here reporting for duty.

Anyway, I never forgot it.

Anyway, put the camera here.

Anyway, you were okay.

Apologies. The McGills. Ah,

Are always taking things out of context.

Are these your wire cutters?

Are we going to pick up Ana Maria?

Are we moving to Manhattan with our new found riches?

Are you a little drunk?

Are you a little, uh...

Are you an assistant of some kind?

Are you aware

Are you coming tonight?

Are you dealing drugs to members of the orchestra?

Are you embarrassed to play it?

Are you going to allow me to go backstage after the performance.

Are you going to play for us as well?

Are you going to repeat the directions

Are you guys fucking with me?

Are you guys playing? What are you playing?

Are you kidding me? This is my dream axe.

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you ready for an adventure?

Are you satisfied with us?

Are you serious?

Are you stoned?

Are you sure? It usually is.

Are you wearing eyeliner?

Are you willing to do that, Alice?

Are you?

Are you... are you sure?

Aren't you Elizabeth Campbell?

As a man that people feel obligated to flatter,

As do I.

As do I. Some of these conductors keep going and going.

As is ever so on the road.

As most of you know,

As one movement ends, another must begin.

As part of my efforts to raise awareness about climate change.

As part of their annual gift. Come on.

As soon as you can.

As you know, this is a very simple tune,

As you might suspect,

At 12 years old, he was the youngest person

At 23, he conducted at La Scala.

At 25, he lifted the Oslo symphony

At college, she turned me onto Ayn Rand, it was like,

Audience sees one thing: our new maest...

Auntie Mary had a canary up the leg of her drawers.

Aw, tell me, how are the boys... Ryan and...

Awesome bulletin board.

Awesome.

Ay, wey.

Ay, wey.

Baby, leave with me now, mon amour.

Badass, huh?

Bambi, can we take lgor Stravinsky for a walk?

Basically, since we started to work together,

Be responsible for the first time in my life.

Beautiful day.

Because I can... Yeah. I can help.

Because I can't hear shit.

Because I feel that that

Because I get such a...

Because I listened to my blood.

Because I respect you so much.

Because I would love your support

Because I'm about the magic.

Because it always gets a little bit crazy.

Because it tends to feature my good side.

Because it's my opening night at the New York Symphony.

Because it's not just only the patrons arriving in style,

Because last time it was cold,

Because my grandmother had played, so...

Because that's what we need to get some dimension into what we do.

Because that’s the only way that this is going to be relevant.

Because the only money I have coming in right now

Because the performer that we are watching tonight,

Because the risk itself was something we could market.

Because the"1812 Overture"

Because we have to leave immediately.

Because you keep changing the program.

Because you're the one who wears two watches, so...

Because your vision is blocked by your gigantic fucking ego.

Because, honestly, it's so, so over,

Because, you know, if that is the case...

Before I do go, I would just like to say

Before they got those tattoos.

Before your flight.

Believe in me.

Berlin, Kenya...

Betty Cra... Okay.

Betty Cragdale, she's a wonderful oboist.

Betty Cragdale?

Betty Cragdale.

Betty, I need to ask you a question.

Betty, she's harmless.

Betty, this is incredible.

Betty: I shared an apartment with two Hell's Angels

Betty.

Between the older members of the orchestra

Bienvenue!

Bit of a conversation stopper.

Blood. That's what matters. I like that.

Bob, are you flirting with her?

Bob, I hate to admit it, but I kind of like your style.

Bob, if you want to play like a god,

Bob, is it time for our ten minute break?

Bob, Warren Boyd, Svetlana. What's up?

Bob.

Bob.

Bonanza.

Bonanza.

Boom! You have a seat.

Boom.

Brahms? Mozart? Handel?

Brass. Hit.

Brava, [speaks Spanish]

Brava.

Bravo, Maestro, bravo.

Bravo!

Bravo! Bravo!

Break a leg, maestro.

Brroklyn, 48th.

Bubonic plague.

Buenas noches.

Bueno.

Buenos días, familia, eh?

Bunch of get well stuff for Rodrigo.

Bunny arranged the music.

Bunny.

But

But "Hear the Hair"?

But all I'll say is that, um,

But also the most amusing and interesting person I’ve ever met.

But at least he was easy to drive.

But big donors are here...

But by the person who responds.

But can't I even go out to play with my friends?

But don't ever underestimate me.

But don't turn off the tape.

But growing old alone,

But here's the thing.

But how will I know the difference?

But I can listen.

But I can say that

But I can still be around her?

But I can tame her.

But I can't because I need that $89.

But I can't.

But I didn't come to see you.

But I got to tell you, Cynthia, as a friend,

But I guess as long as you know what you want to do with your life,

But I have paint thinner and kerosene. That work?

But I have so many things to talk with you about.

But I have to admit, I like Rodrigo more and more.

But I learned this thing's insane,

But I practiced last night.

But I will take it off after I play the concert.

But I'm a little bit grown up.

But I'm allergic to coconuts.

But I'm just getting started, Edward.

But I'm no miracle worker.

But I'm pretty fuckin' sick of being called Lizzie.

But I'm sticking with it,

But in the meantime,

But in the meantime, please bear with us.

But in the silence between them.

But it's just hair.

But it's my first concert,

But it's not too late.

But it's really a big deal,

But let's try to find more legato into it.

But my parents were so against The Police, and it was just...

But my phone died, and...

But my teacher never let's me play any of her songs.

But not with you, Cynthia.

But now you're, like, won't let me not see her.

But one of our greatest composers

But she decided just to walk away.

But she was, like, super rich anyway,

But she's not right about you being bourgeois pigs.

But she's right about the ego getting in the way,

But still...

But talking about the truth...

But that's good to hear.

But that's how it is.

But the lady who's giving them to me

But then an equally great one

But then I realized that I was just scared of being scared.

But these people are fucking insane.

But these really stale tuna sandwiches.

But they call me Pavel.

But this is not Betty Cragdale's orchestra, is it?

But this time make it warm,

But this, Maestro, I can do.

But tonight, I will not conduct anymore.

But trust me, there's no funds without the fun.

But uh...

But we need a conductor.

But when I'm home and I play to myself,

But when you're talented, and you are,

But will you do it one more time?

But you do not work for Gloria.

But you have to experience something.

But you know what goes up

But you will.

But you're, like, clear cutting an entire forest.

But you've cut of fall your hair.

But, ah, still...

But, hey, you hook up with the bosses,

But, I don't know, like maybe...

But, like, what are you doing?

But, no, that inspired me.

But, of course, you can get the Mozart with the bacon.

But, oh, my God, you were amazing.

But, uh, I mean, I've put this orchestra through a lot of hell

But, uh, I, uh...

But, uh, the licorice root and the molding clay

But, uh... my God is music.

But, um, fuck it.

But, um, well, the new guy's no slouch.

But, um... Thank you.

But, yeah, I've been dragged to dinner parties

But, you see, that was the context.

But...

By Boston,

By the person who initiates

By the time I was eight,

By the time I was your age, I was dead.

By the time they were 30.

By the way, a bold choice, Mahler's Eighth.

By the way, did you see the BBC piece that I did for Panorama?

By this band called The Police,

By your little adventure.

Bye bye, Gloria. Thank you.

Bye, guys.

Bye.

Bye.

Call him Marlon.

Call me. Marlon. "

Calm down, look into my eyes.

Came to my showcase

Can I ask for your guidance?

Can I borrow that?

Can Rodrigo's eyes come out to play?

Can somebody please give him a glass of champagne?

Can we have a check, please?

Can we print out 87 copies of Berlioz' "Hungarian March?"

Can we try to stay focused on this?

Can you bring me my violin?

Can you come with your glasses as well, please?

Can you ever forgive me for being such a daft cunt?

Can you hear the hair?

Can you just hang out for two minutes?

Can you keep one for us?

Can you make me a mate, please?

Can you please stop pissing on the wall back there, sir?

Can you tell me what you're doing here?

Can you tell me who composed the variation

Can't interrupt a genius.

Can't live with them,

Can't remember when.

Can't run a major orchestra without them.

Can't you hear it? I was flat.

Cannot be fired unless the union approves it.

Caviar.

Caviar. Mm. Let's have some.

Chair of the orchestra committee?

Champagne is for celebrating,

Change is good.

Change is natural.

Changes will be made.

Check it out.

Cheers.

Chipotle bought us out.

Choir for opening the season.

Christ, Bob. It's an instrument.

Ciao.

Ciao.

Claire gave me these for you.

Claire would just love that, wouldn't she?

Claire, what... [glass shatters]

Claire, would you please just talk some sense into him?

Claire? Oh.

Classical music has been losing money for people

Classical music is as vibrant now as it's ever been.

Classical music is our forte.

Close my eyes and I see her.

Closer to the ground?

Coconut water. Here.

Coded under Rodrigo's discretionary account.

Come back to bed.

Come home soon.

Come in, come in, come in. How are you?

Come in.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on. Come on, Hailey.

Come on, dear, no need to shout.

Come on, ladies, don't let me sing for my supper.

Come on.

Come on. You'll be back in no time.

Come with some kind of salary

Come.

Come. Ba ba ba.

Complain about how hard they have it.

Congrats on the Picasso. Blah, blah, blah.

Congrats.

Congratulations.

Congratulations.

Congratulations. Well, that said,

Congratulations. You guys were fucking great.

Constanze? I don't know a Constanze.

Contact my office,

Cool.

Cool. No fuckage.

Cool. Well,

Could I suggest a light beta blocker on the house?

Could we please work out some kind of shared schedule?

Could you play the solo?

Courtesy of Chef Robertito.

Covered? How reassuring.

Cut the hair.

Cute ass, right?

Cynthia, darling,

Cynthia, um,

Cynthia, you're killing me.

Cynthia: Exactly.

Cynthia: It's you. [laughs] Come in, come in.

Cynthia.

D. D.

D. D. , I want to be frank.

D.D.: We're all in this together.

Damn right.

Dare I ask what's going on with you and Thomas?

Deep financial trouble.

Derrick, it's so nice to see you.

Destiny awaits me in that fucked up tent room.

Did I get the day wrong? We said Saturday.

Did I... Was I going too fast?

Did she just leave?

Did you find her?

Did you find your flaxen haired little angel?

Did you finish your assignment, Hailey?

Did you get my texts?

Did you hear this cocksucker

Did you know that John Cage once performed here?

Did you really wanna learn the oboe?

Didn't ever commit, anyway.

Didn't I? Eh?

Do come in. Let's maybe sit over here, then.

Do I look 5, D.D.?

Do I look like I went to prep school?

Do like this.

Do not do something so bold and then back away from it.

Do we raise the money to make the music,

Do you feel it?

Do you find guys with lots of tattoos, like,

Do you have any advice for him?

Do you have any more of that Thai stick

Do you have anything that's stronger?

Do you have those long triangular prism chocolates?

Do you have to spend it all now or...

Do you have your lip stuff?

Do you hear that?

Do you know how many hours I've spent

Do you know that dry cleaner on Grand?

Do you know why violinists are such bad lovers?

Do you like the Mozart?

Do you not feel, like, slightly odd about keeping it?

Do you really think you're making real steps towards playing in the symphony?

Do you remember Halloween, eighth grade?

Do you see this trench in my forehead?

Do you think he's meant to be Captain Ahab?

Do you think so tonight?

Do you think that if I work really hard and I sacrifice,

Do you think that we can approach bar 39

Do you want it?

Do you want me to do something about this?

Do you want me to save you one?

Do you want to call a friend?

Do you want to fill this up for me?

Do you?

Do your lips hurt after you play like that?

Does anybody happen to know the WiFi password?

Does he also do children's parties?

Does it bring your ego pleasure,

Does this open?

Doesn't matter how it will appear,

Doesn't matter. Nothing matters when you like music, right?