The Banana Splits Movie Edit

A and Stevie. Don't forget Stevie.

A fifth Banana Split?

Absolutely.

Actually, there's no cell phones allowed inside, so..

After this, I'll be drunk.

Ah.

Alert Rebecca that Drooper is functioning at 100%.

All of our friends are here.

And "The Banana Splits" doesn't really

And all the cell phones were smashed.

And featuring Stevie.

And he's crazy about this show

And I assure you everything is under control.

And I bought tickets five months ago

And I couldn't stop it.

And I wanna do something cool and edgy

And I'll get you checked in lickety splits.

And sell 'em to the theme park division.

And she defends you and she tells me to give you a chance.

And Stevie.

And straighten up.

And that's final.

And the whole time you've been cheatin' on her?

And they are so excited to go.

And thinks he can talk to animals. Please don't make me.

And we'll start wrapping out on Monday.

And we're gonna be going live all day long.

And we're live on set of "The Banana Splits."

And why I would I do that?

Andy told me right before tonight's show.

ANDY: 'Glen, I told her it's done.'

ANDY: What, what's a banana split?

Anyone know which one?

Anything you want, my darling.

Are going to "The Banana Splits."

Are the police coming?

Are they doing the Snorky Shuffle?

Are you excited?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding? We're still a huge hit.

Are you ready to meet your next superstar?

As a send up of another popular TV show from the era.

As you know..

Austin, Paige, take the kids out.

AUSTIN: 'Harley, you excited?'

AUSTIN: 'He's totally gonna do it. He does it every time.'

AUSTIN: 'I'm I'm I'm sure she, she really loves the show.'

AUSTIN: 'Mom, Paige went to look for them.'

AUSTIN: 'Mom!'

AUSTIN: 'Oh, map says Stage 1'

AUSTIN: 'She'll catch up. Come on.'

AUSTIN: Come on.

AUSTIN: Mom!

Austin!

Babe, give me your phone.

Babe, I love you so much.

Babe, it will be a moment

Baby, we are gonna meet the Splits.

Bad things happen, you still..

Banana cadabra, bitch!

Banana split!

Because "The Banana Splits" show is about to begin.

Because he raised you like a son for the last 11 years.

Because I wanna know that you're safe before I go to bed.

Because if you're not committed to this

Because the network thinks you suck.

Because you know if you need money

Besides, this is kind of awesome.

Beth, there's never been an us.

Beth, those wings are staying in the car.

Beth, wait, no. Beth, please.

BETH: I know how you feel. Trust me.

BETH: No!

Big surprise.

Bing Bingo's drumsticks.

Bingo!

But I called another one of your friends

But I didn't say Kara. Why, why would you say Kara?

But it made me realize something.

But now they're hurting people.

But since you're in a rush, I'm canceling the show.

But that show's for babies.

But then they killed him.

But there was already another movie by that name.

But they wouldn't listen.

But we didn't get any stars on our tickets.

But we have tapings lined up for weeks.

Can I go to acting class?

Can you take us to him?

Can't even get off the lot at this time of night.

Cheers to you.

Come on, guys.

Come on, have a drink with me. One drink.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, they need you on set.

Come on, you fuzzy son of bitch.

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Come on, hurry.

Come on. Let's go. Let's get you back to bed.

Come on. You wanna meet Snorky. Don't ya?

Cue announcer.

Daddy, I just wanna go home.

Daddy, I'm scared.

Damn it.

Damn it. Do I have to do everything?

Dick.

Did you find them?

Did you hear me?

Do they usually just walk around on their own like that?

Do you know "The Banana Splits?"

Do you know where Snorky is?

Do you really think the Banana Splits aren't gonna wanna meet

Does anybody have a 20 on Drooper?

Don't be long.

Don't hit the hammer.

Don't stop now. You're almost there.

Don't worry, mom, I found Mitch.

Don't worry, they'll be safe in the production office

Don't, don't say that.

Down to Stage 12.

Drooper got caught in Mr. Walterscheid's fence again.

Drooper wouldn't hurt anybody on purpose.

Dude, I'm not doing autographs right now.

Dude, what?

Duh. "The Monkees."

Duncan's the only one he plays with.

Everybody, close your eyes.

Everything's going to be okay.

FLEEGLE: 'Banana cadabra!'

FLEEGLE: Drooper, mail's here.

FLEEGLE: It's time to fly.

FLEEGLE: Time to fly!

Fleegle!

Fleegle!

Fleegle.

Follow me.

For making the introduction.

For real? Seriously?

For the love of God, can somebody find Stevie?

For you.

FYI, the design is loosely modeled

Get me out of here!

Get off of me! Get off!

Get out of here.

Get the hell out of here.

Go to our website to download the photos.

Go!

Go!

Go.

God, I hope not.

God, it's that stage dad.

Goddamn robots.

Grab Harley and Zoey and go.

Great job, Snorky.

Great.

Guess whose night just freed up.

Guess you could say I was born to do this job.

Guys, we have to get Drooper

Guys.

Ha, and ask me if I care?

Ha.

Hang a right, and then a left, and then two more rights.

Happy birthday, buddy.

Happy birthday, Harley.

Harley really wants to meet Snorky.

Harley was almost hit by a Banana Buggy.

Harley, no!

HARLEY: 'I hope Snorky does the Snorky Shuffle.'

HARLEY: 'I really wanna meet Snorky.'

HARLEY: 'Open it. You'll see.'

HARLEY: 'Snorky!'

HARLEY: 'So how long have you been watching'

HARLEY: 'This is going to be the best birthday ever.'

HARLEY: "The Banana Splits" is me and Austin's favorite show.

HARLEY: I can't believe I'm actually here.

HARLEY: Mom!

HARLEY: Take it slow.

Harley!

Harley!

Harley!

Harley! Zoe!

Harley! Zoe!

Harley's gonna be so disappointed.

HARVEY: 'Here's the circus. He's got to be here.'

Have you seen them?

He asked me to marry him.

He barely remembered his own son's birthday.

He doesn't even wanna be here. He'd rather be at work.

He doesn't have any other friends.

He he probably doesn't wanna leave.

He loves this show. Maybe he's hiding somewhere.

He took it down to Hammer Town.

He was probably just excited.

He would not want anything bad to happen to you.

He's dead because of you.

He's in the next scene.

He's like a great kid and, and you know

He's my favorite.

He's not gonna be able to come with us.

Hello? Snorky?

Help me move this.

Help us.

Help! Ah!

Help! There's this psycho tryin' to run me over!

Her name is Hooty.

Hey, everybody, it's time

Hey, guys, are you excited to get your photos?

Hey, his dad sucks, but I love him.

Hey, I need that. It's work.

Hey, Pop?

Hey, shh, don't worry.

Hey, Stevie. Mail's here!

Hey, uh, here you go.

Hey, you gotta let us out of here.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Hey! You can't go back there.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Excuse me.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. What are you doin' out here?

Hi, I'm Harley. This is my friend Zoe.

Hi, I'm Paige.

Hi, kids. Put on your hap happiest faces

Hi. Yeah, we're here to see the, uh...

Holy crap.

Honey.

Hope I didn't get you in any trouble.

Hope you enjoyed the show.

How did you know?

How do we stop the Banana Splits?

How was your drive, boys?

Huh? Yeah.

I am just trying to keep you guys all safe.

I bet it's strawberry from one of the Sloppy Time pies.

I brought friends.

I can't believe Harley would just run off like that.

I can't believe he just ran out like that.

I can't believe this.

I can't believe you actually get to work here.

I can't even.

I can't handle another one of his lectures.

I did.. Just hate myself.

I don't know what that is.

I don't know what's taking Austin so long.

I don't know. It's just a random thought.

I don't need to get home.

I don't think we should.

I don't wanna be with Kara. I want you.

I don't wanna get messy.

I don't wanna see "The Banana Splits."

I got, I got hit by a car.

I I need that for work.

I just got that.

I just paid $70 for that blow up

I just really want your brother's birthday

I just told all my followers

I know it's bad. They make me say it.

I know that you think I worry too much.

I love it, Austin.

I love you, Beth.

I mean, where do I go from here?

I never got to meet Snorky.

I really need to see the producer.

I really think if the producer saw Parker, he would...

I see the Splits riding around in their little cars

I stole a $20 bill from my stepdad's sock drawer, you know.

I swear it was just one time.

I think he's just doing a magic trick.

I thought it would sound cool, like like smooth.

I tried to tell them that it's wrong

I understand.

I want a divorce.

I was building a sister for my boys.

I was just drinking a toast..

I watched him die

I waved at Snorky, but he didn't wave back.

I wonder how the show is gonna end.

I wonder how the show's gonna end.

I worry about you, Austin.

I'll be at the car, okay?

I'll be right back, okay, guys?

I'll find a producer and introduce you.

I'll make sure Karl has him ready for the next scene.

I'll take him out. You guys run.

I'm buzzed.

I'm here with the one and only Miss Poppy Glarady

I'm injured!

I'm just gonna check in.

I'm looking for my son and his friend.

I'm not gonna leave you behind.

I'm not leaving you.

I'm not really in show business.

I'm ordering you to stand down.

I'm sending him to the stage.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sure it's just... "The Banana Splits."

I'm talking to you.

I'm the vice president of Programming.

I'm too excited. I can't go to sleep.

I'm, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I said that.

I've hated every minute of working with you assholes.

If everybody can get in a line, I'll make sure

If something happens to him, I..

If there's maybe a way to, like, hook us up.

If you have a star in your tickets, sit tight.

If you've got stars in the back, then you're in luck.

In there?

Incredibly dated.

Is he still here? I need to see him.

Is Snorky in here?

Is that man dressed like a child?

Is that music?

Is this the best job in the world?

Isn't it wonderful, Stevie?

It always lands on rock out.

It doesn't mean you get to act like an epic asshole.

It is your birthday, but we're not celebrating it yet.

It was awful.

It was still a great birthday present.

It wasn't your fault.

It's an incredibly sweet thing you did for your brother.

It's because it's stupid, Beth.

It's Doug. The other page.

It's fine.

It's gonna end on rock out. They always end on rock out.

It's his birthday and you're going

It's his favorite show

It's in their programming.

It's locked.

It's more like what I can do for you.

It's my call.

It's my kid's birthday. I can't get away.

It's not gonna happen.

It's okay, guys.

It's past midnight.

It's past your curfew. That's what time it is.

It's Sloppy Time!

It's Snorky. He's different.

It's the middle of the night. Why are you awake?

It's time to fly!

It's working for me too.

Jesus, that would have been an embarrassing way to die.

Jonathan, please. Call me Jonathan.

Jonathan, you're next. Just wait your turn.

JONATHAN: 'Parker, this is our shot.'

Just 'cause your fits build on a kid's show

Just get the meet and greets out of here

Just need your ID.

Just promise me that you won't mess with him tomorrow.

Just stay with your brother. I'll be right back.

Just stick around after the show. I'll take care of you.

Just take my phone, please.

Just unlock the gate.

Just wanted to be with somebody safe

Just, please don't tell Mitch, okay?

KARL: 'I can fix you. Wait.'

KARL: 'Stay back!'

KARL: The show must go on.

Karl?

Karl.

Karl's stupid update didn't work.

Laughin' and singin'.

Let me out!

Let's check out the rest of this place.

Let's get you updated, eh?

Let's go find your brother.

Let's go!

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Like a quest.

Like all of them, that I'll be going live.

Like, how can you explain this?

Listen to me. Listen, it's not safe here for you.

Look who I found. It's Stevie.

MALE ANNOUNCER: 'And Ashley's moving up the ladder.'

MALE ANNOUNCER: 'And don't forget Stevie!'

MALE ANNOUNCER: 'And featuring Stevie.'

MALE ANNOUNCER: 'And they're coming up to the balance beam.'

MALE ANNOUNCER: 'Drooper?'

MALE ANNOUNCER: 'Give it up for the Banana Splits.'

MALE ANNOUNCER: 'It's Sloppy Time!'

MALE ANNOUNCER: 'Our first scene will begin in a few minutes, folks.'

MALE ANNOUNCER: 'Starring Fleegle..'

MALE ANNOUNCER: 'Taft Studios presents "The Banana Splits."'

MALE NARRATOR: Taft Studios presents "The Banana Splits."

MALE NARRATOR: We've killed so many people.

MAN ON TV: Hey, Drooper. Mail's here.

Maybe, um, you could, um, give me your number?

Meeting the Splits would be huge.

Might be the last time you ever do.

MITCH: 'Beth.'

MITCH: 'I found him.'

Mm, they're having a wonderful time.

Mom, did you see that?

Mom, he's weird. He believes in fairies

Mom, I think she's lost it.

Mom, I'm I'm 19. Why do I have to be home by midnight?

Mom, mom, the guy's a selfish prick. He hates me.

Mom, Snorky wouldn't hurt me.

Mom, that was seriously badass.

Mom, this is crazy, right?

Mom, uh, we'll find them. It's fine.

Mom.

Mom.

Mr. Thadastic to all my fans.

Must have rubbed off of Drooper.

My mom just.. She sometimes gets this way.

My precious boy. Who who did this to you?

Needs a little tweaking, hm?

Network pulled the plug.

No, honey, I think it's just part of the show.

No, I didn't. I'm a little busy, Andy.

No, it's fine. I've gotta check in the office, anyway, so..

No, no, no, no. You don't have to. It's okay.

No, no. Uh, push the button.

No, please!

No, the phones don't work

No!

No!

No!

No.

No. I wasn't, Mitch.

No. No, please. No!

No.. Tell Props I'm coming to them.

Nobody's gonna die.

Nope, that's not strawberry.

Not anymore.

Not really.

Not to mention, what we can do with all that tech.

Not until I get you a real audition.

Now look, six years..

Now the show can go on

Now, I want you all to check your tickets

O okay.

Of "The Banana Splits."

Of course, I don't.

Of Davenport's Magic Shop in London.

Oh, and suddenly you're so mature.

Oh, are you?

Oh, boy, it's time for..

Oh, Duncan is sick, sweetheart

Oh, hey, I'll, uh, I'll be right behind you.

Oh, I don't believe this!

Oh, I'm not sure.

Oh, Kara, you are killing me.

Oh, look, it's my cast mates.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Thadd, Thadd!

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, no.

Oh, oh, and, and Glen..

Oh, Zoe, come on. It was nice enough that they invited you.

Oh!

Oh.

Oh. A tiny wand.

Okay, bye. Duncan has the flu.

Okay, great. Then let's meet the Splits.

Okay, I actually wanted to talk to her.

Okay, Stevie.

Okay, stop, stop it! Go back inside, okay?

Okay, well, I was gonna do this gently

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Can I have, uh, 20 bucks?

On cue... like always.

Out of Mr. Walterscheid's fence again!

Paige brought me up to speed on the whole situation

Paige, call 911.

PAIGE: '"The Banana Splits Adventure Hour"'

PAIGE: 'Everyone, stay clam.'

PAIGE: 'Where's Poppy? She was right behind me.'

PAIGE: Actually, it was a children's book.

PAIGE: Cell phones, please.

PAIGE: Stevie.

Paige.

Parker, do the thing.

Parker, seriously? Stop chewing on your hair.

Please don't make me. Please!

Please have your tickets ready

Please tell Duncan I hope he feels better.

Please, Snorky.

POPPY: We have to stop them.

Probably, um..

Put them with our other friends.

Really?

Really? It's Harley's birthday.

Rebecca, I'm so sorry.

REBECCA: 'We're about to start and I'm a Split short.'

REBECCA: I told you, I never should have taken this job.

Represent my vision for the network.

Right, yeah, um, which way would that be? I..

Right. Yes, it was Kara.

Rock out! Rock out!

Run!

Say hi.

Seemed on purpose.

Seriously?

She can sing something else. What do you wanna hear?

She did it!

She knows this place better than anybody.

She should be in the Sour G****s Bunch or somethin'.

She took it down to Hammer Town.

She would realize that she had a star

She'd probably even give you a promotion

Shh.

Show time, bitches.

Silly Stevie.

Sir, can can you hear me? What happened?

Sleeping with your assistant. God, you're such a cliche.

Smoking's bad for your health.

Snorky, please don't do this.

Snorky!

Snorky.

So I need to know

So I think I'd know.

So I'm out of a job.

So invite one of his other friends.

So like it or not

So that you and Harley would never ever get hurt.

So today's your last show.

So you weren't stealing money from me?

So, take her junk somewhere else.

So, um, I was kind of wondering after everything that happened

Somebody find Karl and tell him to get Drooper out on stage.

Somebody help me!

Someone's reflex subroutine

Something I can do for you?

Sounds like it's coming from down there.

Spoiler alert. It's a dump.

Stage 1 is kind of tucked back in the corner.

Stand down.

Standing right in front of her.

Starring Fleegle..

Stop that! It's not for you.

Stop.

Sure.

Ta da!

Ta da!

Tell that bitch Rebecca I'll be there.

Th the Banana Splits don't hurt people.

Th this show is gonna free up two stages.

Thadd, let it go.

Thadd, no.

Thadd, this is amazing.

Thadd, yes.

THADD: Actually, I'm a pretty big fan

Thadd.

Thadd. Thadd!

Thank you for coming, everyone.

Thank you for the opportunity.

Thanks.

Thanks. Enjoy the show.

That is disturbing.

That should have been you out there.

That still like that show.

That's all you are.

That's Fleegle's Magic Shop.

That's in it for you if that makes a difference, seriously.

That's Snorky's circus and Bingo's jungle.

That's Stevie. Nobody really likes him.

That's why I built them.

The audience page. Paige, the page.

The flu? Really?

The home of "The Banana Splits" since 1969.

The page.

The rest of you, Doug will show you out.

The script says giant hammer.

The show must go on!

The show must go on.

The show must go on.

The, the ambulance will be here soon.

Their biggest fan on his birthday?

Then I'll find one right after I find Austin.

There has to be an explanation.

There is no show. We're canceled.

There must be a way to stop them.

There was always Austin and then there was Harley.

There's gotta be someone else we can invite.

There's hundreds of these.

There's not too many kids his age

There's nothin' I can do. I'm sorry.

There's some, some stuff going down.

They can wait for me.

They didn't listen to me now.

They sent him out with the rest of the audience.

They shouldn't have taken away their show.

They took my kids.

They'll die in here.

They're coming to get you in ten minutes.

They're my favorite. They make people happy.

They're never gonna let them go.

They're probably just exploring the rest of the sets.

This is all the network's fault.

This is hallowed ground, my friends.

This is Harley's mom calling.

This is like my whole childhood right here.

This is some messed up stuff right here.

This is weird.

This is, um, this is, this is very, very cool.

This is.. I don't, I don't know if I can go through that again.

This must be where they were built or something.

This show is all they have.

This show is really not what I expected.

This show is weird. I'm awesome.

This show's done

Thought, thought maybe it got mixed up

Three cheers for Rebecca!

Till after the show. Thank you.

Time's almost up.

Time's almost up.

To be called "Banana Bunch."

To be perfect.

To spin the wheel of endings.

Uh, miss, excuse me. Miss?

Uh, okay, just take.. Keep keep breathing.

Uh, she means the.. Drooper, the lion.

Uh, sup?

Uh, you know what? It's all in the map.

Uh, you probably heard about my promotion this morning?

Um, are we, are we ready to go yet?

Um, I told you I had to call in to the office.

Um, I'm sure she'll be back.

Um, look, it's my little brother's birthday

Um, looking for my other sock.

Um, sorry, how long is this gonna take?

Um, uh, what time is it?

Um, well, I..

Unless you're scared.

Us?

Us.

Us.

Want a full report when I get back?

Was something supposed to happen?

We all are.

We are at a taping of "The Banana Splits."

We are going to a live taping

We can go live from another set.

We don't have stars on our tickets.

We don't want any hiccups today, do we?

We have another surprise for you. We...

We have to find Fleegle. They took Harley and Zoe.

We have to get the kids.

We have to hurry.

We have to run the Sloppy Time course.

We have to save those kids.

We just got engaged.

We were gonna get married.

We..

We'll find them. Trust me.

We'll have to find the producer ourselves.

We'll remember forever.

We'll start with you, Drooper. Hmm.

We're alone in Fleegle's Magic Shop.

We're gonna have so much fun!

We're gonna make it.

We're gonna tear those fuzzy bastards apart

We're here at the Taft Studios.

We've worked too hard to give up now. Hm?

Welcome to "The Banana Splits."

Welcome to Taft Studios.

Well, I'm the vice president of Programming now

Well, uh, there's nothing here.

Well, who could that be?

Well, you can tell your..

Wh where were you?

What a joke.

What about our pictures?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What I'm holding is a regular hammer.

What is that?

What is this place?

What the hell is goin' on?

What the hell is this?

What the hell were you thinking?

What the hell?

What up, everyone?

What, uh, what is that in his eyes?

What?

What's a banana split?

What's happening?

What's on your cheek?

What's up, you guys? Check it out, right?

What's up, you guys? It's your boy Thadd.

When Drooper does it, letters shoot out.

When I'm the only one here

When we get down there

Where are the children?

Where are you?

Where do you think you're going?

Where do you think you're going?

Where is everybody?

Where the hell are they?

Where where, where did there go?

Where's Drooper?

Where's Snorky?

Where's the blue key?

Which way do we go?

Who else will be at the office?

Who's excited to see "The Banana Splits?"

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoo!

Whoo! Hey!

Whoo! Hoo hoo!

Why are you doing this to me?

Why don't you spin it, Drooper?

Why is Drooper all wet?

Why? What's gonna happen?

Wow. Both hands. Okay.

Yay!

Yeah, but it's old and stupid.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, so do I. Me too.

Yeah, um, that is true.

Yeah, yeah, I know, okay?

Yeah, yeah, I know.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you can return to your seat now.

Yeah. I'm not giving up my phone.

Yeah. That's what I meant. The lion.

Yeah. Why?

Yeah. You are.

Yes! We got stars. We got stars.

Yo, check this out. You're gonna love this.

Yo, she said yes!

Yo! Shit.

You all get photos with the Splits.

You almost hit that little boy.

You built them, didn't you?

You built them. There must be a way.

You can just ask me, right?

You can put your number in there if you want.

You can stop this, but you have to let us out of here.

You can't do this to me.

You can't do this. You're the Banana Splits.

You can't forget about work for one day?

You can't.

You don't even have your cell phone.