Samurai Jack - Season 1 Edit

A black moon blocked out the sun.

A brave man, indeed.

A cat in giant boots came along and kicked the samurai.

A cursed man trapped in a rock body.

A devourer of worlds,

A drink? Why didn't you say so?

A few of the locals informed me that I might be able to refresh myself here.

A fisherman's tale about the triseraquin,

A fool I've been!

A great warrior must be in tune with all of his senses.

A horrible monster born from within the darkness attacked.

A jewel of all the northern lands.

A machine.

A millennium hath passed, and now my goal is within my grasp.

A picnic basket of confectionery treats.

A power strong enough to free my father.

A price must be paid for disobedience.

A real bang up job.

A story of the purest simplicity must be told.

A strange structure

A tale must be told...

A tale of epic proportions.

A time machine.

A toast... to our new friend.

A very familiar evil.

A vision is forming.

A warning.

A wicked samurai came to the house.

A young warrior forged into battle with Aku.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Accept your fate.

Accursed monster, your spell is broken!

Actually, Frederick, the odds are promising.

Actually, it's Jack.

Adorable, aren't they?

After all these years,

After all these years, to go back to work for Aku.

After barely surviving the sheep stampede,

After which I immediately left the premises.

Ah, so now Mr. Goody two sandals feels like talking, eh?

Ah, you're not from around here, are you?

Ahem! Lord Aku,

Ahem.

Ahem.

Ahem.

Ahem. Pardon me, fine sir.

Aku cannot be trusted!

Aku has a price on my head.

Aku has got a price on me head.

Aku infested land continues.

Aku is near.

Aku tricked the warrior...

Aku would creepily creep out from the shadows.

Aku would destroy you, see? Yah.

AKU: And so, Little Red Hood was victorious.

AKU: And so, the mean wolf took a shortcut

AKU: And so, the wicked samurai began to eat.

AKU: And then, he set off to destroy the three bears' house.

AKU: And while they were out,

AKU: Do not worry, Samurai.

AKU: He was searching for his lost sheep,

AKU: How horrible.

AKU: Long ago in a distant land,

AKU: Long ago in a distant land,

AKU: Long ago, in a distant land,

AKU: Long ago, in a distant land,

AKU: Long ago, in a distant land,

AKU: Long ago, in a distant land,

AKU: Long ago, in a distant land,

AKU: Long ago, in a distant land,

AKU: Long ago, in a distant land,

AKU: Long ago, in a distant land,

AKU: Long ago, in a distant land,

AKU: Long ago, in a distant land,

AKU: No, fool!

AKU: Once upon a time,

AKU: Once upon a time,

AKU: The wolf attacked Little Red Hood,

AKU: There once was a house made of candy,

AKU: Ugh!

AKU: Well, well, triseraquins.

AKU: With great endings.

AKU: Yes, and he fell off the beanstalk.

AKU: Yes, it does!

Aku!

Aku!

Aku!

Aku!

Aku!

Aku?

Aku?

Aku.

Aku.

Aku's deceit runs deep.

Aku's demon forces were implanted into the earth,

Aku's drones approach from the south!

Aku's drones approach from the south.

Aku's henchmen were too late.

Aku's offering two googolplex for your head.

Aku's treachery is my curse, also.

Aku's wrongs must be righted.

All ram a lam a lam a and the trashing and all the munching

All right, here's the plan, Jackie.

All right, who ordered the green tea?

All right, you knuckleheads, listen up.

All right.

All right. Here's the skinny.

All them fancy moves will get you nowhere.

ALL: Destroy Aku.

ALL: Not by the hairs of our chinny chin chins.

ALL: Someone wrecked our whole house.

ALL: Welcome, Jack.

ALL: What do you mean?

ALL: Yah! Yah! Move it! Let's g0!

ALL: Yeah!

ALL: Yeah! Yeah!

Allow us to inhabit your world, for you are our only hope.

Allowing his evil time to fester and infect the entire world.

Always be alert, my son,

Amphibious beings who reside here.

An ancient warrior of great power and skill has revealed himself.

And a faithful canine.

And a powerful uppercut

And a warm welcome to the Buddy Righteous Orchestra.

And all the oceans that were once our home are gone.

And an historic victory most worthy of our logs.

And arrived at Grandmother's house before Little Red Hood.

And as Jack reaches the top of the castle,

And banished us to the bottom of the sea.

And begin to take over the world.

And crunching and snack mixing.

And defeat Aku's evil before it was ever truly unleashed.

And entrapped him in a ring of fire.

And fire.

And flung him from his own time

And flung him into the future where my evil is law.

And flung him into the future where my evil is law.

And flung him into the future,

And flung him into the future,

And flung him into the future,

And flung him into the future,

And flung him into the future,

And flung him into the future, where my evil is law.

And flung him into the future, where my evil is law.

And flung me into the distant future.

And flung me into the distant future.

And for our first gig, we're gonna return the jewel.

And has spawned me from your own burning hatred.

And he hurled it with all his might.

And her evil stepmother Jacqueline

And her two wicked stepsisters Jackie and Jacqella.

And hungry, too.

And I am Sir Colin Bartholemew Montgomery Rothchild III, or Rothy for short.

And I am Sir Colin Bartholomew Montgomery Rothchild III.

And I have only one purpose in my existence...

And I possess all the powers that you wield.

And I reach that end of the bridge first.

And I'm coming in.

And I'm sure he plans to spread his vileness through the stars.

And if Aku's unreasonable quotas are not fully met,

And if they are not stopped,

And in return,

And in turn, we provide them with the shelter

And it is I who shall put an end

And it was all schwoo, boom!

And it will be fulfilled beyond your wildest dream.

And it's bigger than yours.

And it's our job to get it out.

And jettison when we hit sub light speed,

And knowing our position,

And made the great warrior their king.

And my mission to vanquish the very demon himself.

And neither do you.

And never went hungry again.

And now, my formidable foe,

And once we attain it,

And risk falling over the side for a perfect stranger?

And safety of our village.

And say,

And send me back in time to destroy Aku

And she summoned the forces of nature to guard it.

And since the big boss himself couldn't close the deal,

And so earth, wind, and fire

And so, the people affectionately named her Little Red Hood.

And so, the people bowed down

And so, the samurai prince

And started to duke it out with the big boss himself.

And that fat super caga fragilistic cystic tie, yo!

And the other was a great huge bear.

And the people feasted on the spoils of his conquest

And the power of the sacred blade,

And the rising moon.

And the wizard destroyed him.

And then it's bang.

And there he is.

And there was a pathetic little samurai,

And this fine gentleman is Angus McDuffy, artifact aficionado,

And thou are the only one to survive.

And traded with the locals of the mainland.

And unauthorized construction of an escape vehicle.

And undo the evil that Aku has done."

And undo the future that is Aku.

And undo the future that is Aku.

And undo the future that is Aku.

And undo the future that is Aku.

And undo the future that is Aku.

And undo the future that is Aku.

And undo the future that is Aku.

And undo the future that is Aku.

And undo the future that is Aku.

And undo the future that is Aku.

And undo the future that is Aku.

And undo the future that is Aku.

And undo the years of tyranny that he has laid upon these lands.

And use the power of the jewel.

And was helpless against his powers.

And we aim to collect it.

And we can escape in secret to again continue to discover our history.

And we will get to meet Aku?

And we'll explain everything.

And what do you think you're doing?

And what you looking at?

And will now see that you will never escape again.

And with one mighty blow...

And with the sword's magic,

And you have dealings with Aku in person?

And you'll get there after you back up,

And your pathetic city will remain sunken,

And your world is our last hope for survival.

And, without any further ado,

Anyway, with our great courage and determination,

Are you mad, man?

Aren't you listening, Jackie?

Armed with the sword and the hope of my people,

Arose from the bowels of hate to ravage our homeland,

Arose to oppose the terrorizing beast.

As a matter of fact, we're passing it now.

As a token of appreciation for his ongoing love of animals, see?

As I once trusted you.

As written, the truth has been told.

As you can see, our archaeological dig

At first, we tried to defend ourselves,

At last, after all these years, a worthy opponent.

At last, my flesh is restored.

At last...

At least that's what I thought...

At long last, my quest has come to an end.

At the mere mention of my name.

At the point where victory was imminent,

At the top of the tower is a mystical well,

Aw. You're gonna weep now?

Away and bow your head.

Ay... ah...

Aye, but it ain't over.

Aye, for now.

Aye, free, and we'll take them together.

Aye, he's good, all right, but he'll never do it.

Aye, it's quiet.

Aye, you got a lot of pep for a wee laddie.

Aye. These jewels ended up being a key source of power for Aku.

B but then that gunner wanna come out

Bah!

Bah!

Bang bang, bangity bang, bang bang.

Basket face, slipper wielding...

Be careful, Rothchild.

Be wary, my son, for evil finds a way.

Beat it, altar boy.

Because I let the triseraquin go.

Beef jerky.

Before the darkness fell,

Before the fail safe warning head informs Aku of our whereabouts,

Before the final blow was struck,

Before the final blow was struck,

Before the final blow was struck,

Before the final blow was struck,

Before the final blow was struck,

Before the final blow was struck,

Before the final blow was struck,

Before the final blow was struck,

Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time

Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time

Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time

Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time

Behind you!

Besides, we couldn't even if we wanted to.

Better finish that drink quick.

Better get Jack to the air lock.

Boo!

BOSS: Boys, meet Jackie, the blade.

BOSS: Now you tell him that The Society

BOSS: With all the accouterments, see?

BOTH: Hey, you! Get away from there!

BOTH: They're after me! After you?

BOTH: Whoa!

Bounty hunters of all types are after me skin. (LAUGHING)

BOY 1: "My quest has ended.

BOY 1: And, Jack would be climbing a huge castle.

BOY 1: But Jack can smell his terrible stench.

BOY 1: Jack would first say,

BOY 2: But not before he defeated

BOY 2: First, they would stare each other down.

BOY 2: No, not yet.

BOY 2: Then he would sheath his sword all cool style

BOY 2: Yeah.

BOY 3: ...dragon like creature.

BOY 3: And then they fight.

BOY 3: And then, they fight!

BOY 3: Now?

BOY 3: Yeah.

BOY 43 With his sword in his teeth.

BOY: But, those are three different stories.

BOY: That's not how the story goes.

Boys, say hello to the Public Works and Utilities building.

Brake.

Bring on the entertainment.

Built from straw, wood and brick,

But a foolish samurai warrior

But a foolish samurai warrior

But a foolish Samurai warrior wielding a magic sword

But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword

But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword

But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword

But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword

But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword

But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword

But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword

But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword

But a giant samurai came and smashed it.

But a premonition.

But a tale must be told.

But Aku was too powerful.

But am I close to the end of this bridge?

But enough about us.

But for now, eat. And then rest...

But from what I understand, your battle is in the sky.

But how did such an elusive treasure come in to your possession?

But I am from earth,

But I did not know its whereabouts.

But I got the exact one in Sarsofiss

But I remembered our grandfather's grandfather's story

But I think we would like to hear a story about...

But I tried...

But I will cure the world of this plague of hope.

But if we could perhaps be of assistance to you in any other way?

But if we pull this off successfully,

But in so doing, robbed us of our sight and our minds,

But it appears that together

But it was still not enough.

But Jack would never do such a...

But let your mind set free the path to your destiny.

But next time you will not be so fortunate.

But next time you will not be so fortunate.

But no match for my evil wizardry."

But no matter.

But not until I find a way

But now that hatred is no more.

But now they are docile and cooperative,

But now, I am openly mocked by these measly urchins.

But of course.

But on the third day, somethin' bit...

But our efforts were to no avail...

But shackled, our power is pointless.

But the heroes within are legendary.

But the reason I have made this journey to you is to ask

But the sword is only a tool.

But the villain did not destroy me.

But then like when Jack went all Swiss on them...

But then this no good

But this new generation...

But this next story is true to its uttermost detail.

But this time we, we really got something.

But to save my father.

But unfortunately, Aku has, shall we say, redirected our efforts

But we better save Jackie before he ain't no more.

But we never got your name.

But we were no match for their technology.

But we, uh, got a little help from our newest member.

But what about Jack?

But what can I do?

But who am I to comment? Well, Jack, we're on our way.

But with my father's sword and the might of righteousness,

But with you on our side, we'll smoke it.

But with you, good Lord Aku,

But would also block our escape route, thus forcing us to surrender.

But you look just like him.

But you look like a brave man...

But you speak in the language of man.

But you will pay homage to me by constructing statues in my likeness.

But you'll never make it back in time.

But, a beloved and courageous hero

But, a foolish samurai warrior

But, alas, it is too hot.

But, no, you didn't figure that, did you?

But, uh, you gotta pass a little test first, see? Yah.

By jove, he's good.

By mean old Aku."

By these tales of heroism.

Calm yourself, Frederick.

Can you believe this guy?

Can you not see? Aku is beyond destruction.

Central hub?

Changed my mind!

Charge!

Chariots did not fly and dogs did not speak in human tongue.

CHILD: Aku? Sir?

CHILD: But wasn't Jack just a giant?

CHILD: Um, sir? Aku?

CHILDREN; The end.

CHRITCHELLITE 1: Our people have dwelled in this land

CHRITCHELLITE 1: So I said to Charlie, "I have three of those."

CHRITCHELLITE 1: This beast is always trying to escape.

CHRITCHELLITE 23 What was that? CHRITCHELLITE 13 What was what?

Climb.

Come and get me.

Come back to our village with us.

Come in, my child.

Come on in.

Come on out, Jackie.

Come on. Move it before we throw you out.

Come on. That's not fair.

Come to me!

Come, Jack. You must be tired.

Come!

Come!

Come. Dessert is served.

Come. Sit.

Coming from a man who wears a basket on his head.

Complete destruction awaited them.

Concerning the history of canine kind,

CONNERY: It's so beautiful.

Coward !

Darn it! There's no time!

Denying me a Warrior's end.

Destroy him.

Destroy!

Did someone say

Did you think that this was your way out?

Didn't you see the way he defeated those robots?

Do as we have planned.

Do as we have planned. Our future depends on it.

Do I? You think I'm dumb, too?

Do it again, Phil.

Do not be afraid, children.

Do not worry, Father, for with the power of this sword,

Do not worry, Samurai.

Do not worry.

Do not worry. They're harmless.

Do the math.

Do you forget that you are forbidden to come here?

Do you have any idea where we are?

Do you mean the great and powerful Aku?

Do you not like the tales of Aku?

Do you understand me?

Don't be such a fool.

Don't forget, Jack,

Don't let them reach the orb.

Don't worry, my friend.

Down here, old fella.

Dude, that was bad, man.

Due to the nature of our geography,

Earth...

Easy there, Jackie boy.

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Master Aku will pay us greatly

ELECTRONIC VOICE: You have been found guilty of breaking Aku law 101 and 203.

Enough has been said.

Enough of this pointless battle.

Enough! It is time for me to rid myself of this menace

Enough.

Enough.

Enraging the frog, who then ate the samurai prince.

Enslaved we have become, to unearth the riches of our land

Enslaving us as its personal guard.

Especially not with a pajama wearing daisy strapped to me wrist.

Even a good heart can be tainted in the hands of Aku.

Even dogs should not be forced to live like dogs.

Even the grandest cities were never as overwhelming as this one.

Every miserable creature trembled

Everyone take cover!

Everything is under control.

Everything looks good.

Evil is clever, and deception is its most powerful weapon.

Evil spirit of the well, you will not claim another innocent.

Exactly. Together we are formidable,

Fight me, coward!

Finally found the magic frog and kissed him,

First of all, I do the best Jack imitation.

First, it would be a misty night.

FISHERMAN: Pipe down, you gunnysacks!

Five hundred smackers per ounce.

Five seconds until impact.

Fo fee fi fo fum. Guess my name.

Fool!

Fool!

Fool! I am real!

Fools!

For decades, they have abused our land,

For eons, I have terrorized this land.

For example, if the child came home crying,

For freedom.

For I have captured you once

For many decades.

For my birthright.

For my people, for my father...

For now.

For only 10 pieces, still wrapped.

For the moment, we are safe from those bounty hunters.

For the only one who ate was a corrupt and evil beast,

For the presence of evil is sometimes right behind you.

For the Preservation of Animal Love

For you are about to hear the story of...

For you see I am he who has taken your water and the riches within them.

For you see, little samurai, the world is mine.

For your destruction.

For, you see, the only entry into Valhalla

Forever petrifying him into the wasteland that he created.

Forgive me.

Forgive my trespassing. I have come to

Free me. All can be explained.

Freeing all he has enslaved.

From the evil bowels of the wolf.

Fulfill mine?

Fulfill our destiny.

Fulfilling this goal would forever change my life.

Game was plentiful, and my people prospered.

Get back in your cells!

Get him!

Get out of here. Go on.

Get out of the great khan's chair.

Get swabbing the deck, or I'll toss you overboard, you has been.

Get your water right here only.

Giant gun.

GIRL: Aku quickly turns into a huge, uh...

GIRL: Because Aku would answer,

GIRL: But he's no match for Jack's samurai skills.

GIRL: Now.

GIRL: What's happening?

GIRL: With his hair all messed up.

Good bye, old friend.

Good bye.

Good heavens, where?

Good luck, Jack.

Good show, boy!

Good.

Good. The samurai is scary.

Goody two shoes good for nothing got in the way, see? Yah.

Grab, zoop! I'm out, Joe.

Great combat skills,

Great flaming eyebrows

Great job, laddie.

Grr! You're so stupid.

Grrr!

GUINNESS: Hopefully the second will succeed.

Ha ha!

Habitation in an unauthorized facility

Had unearthed many astounding discoveries

Happily made their residence.

Has sent a surprise gift, yah,

Has suddenly put a, a bad taste in my mouth, yah.

Have drawn scads of ruthless criminals,

Have guarded the jewel for centuries, see? Yah.

Have spread through the world like a virus,

He ate it all.

He did it!

He does not know what he says.

He flew into battle against the cosmic scourge.

He has been imprisoned for eternity

He has looked deep within you

He has returned.

He has vowed to liberate the canines from your mines.

He imprisoned me within an unbreakable crystal,

He is stronger than I remember.

He made an example of my father

He might create enough of a distraction

He never knew what hit him.

He never suspected a thing,

He opened his ports to the galaxy

He probably wouldn't even do it.

He said you're out of your mind, you blasted idiot.

He told me about the secret hidden city at the bottom of the ocean...

He was all like swig! Swag! Swoop!

He was an impudent, bad old samurai.

He was not a good samurai.

He will learn proper respect for Aku in the pit of hate.

He, alone, knew the whereabouts of the jewel.

Hear what I'm saying? I'm talking to you!

Hello!

Hello.

Help me.

Help me.

Helping us with our everyday duties.

Helpless was I as the beast destroyed

Here comes the first wave.

Here is the truest tale of all.

Here.

Here's Jackie.

Here's some water, my emperor.

Here's the short version, Jackie.

Hey, come back here!

Hey, hey, keep it down in there.

Hey, look.

Hey, there, Red.

Hey, they're going for the orb!

Hey, what's all this about, anyway?

Hey, you did it, Jackie boy.

Hey, you mean, uh...

His evil was no match for the power of righteousness.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm...

Hmm...

Hold it, gentlemen.

Hold on a moment, sir.

Hold on tight. We're gonna make a run for it.

Home.

Honor?

Honorably I must be defeated.

Hot water, please.

How 'bout that?

How about giving me some of those confectionery treats?

How are you ever going to be able to defeat them?

How is it possible?

How rude of us.

How so, lad?

How'd you like to be a member of the most feared gang in the city, see?

Howdy ho, Grandma. It's me, the wolf.

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Hurry!

Hurts, doesn't it?

Hush!

Hut, hut, hut!

Hut, hut, hut!

Hut, hut, hut.

Hut, hut, hut.

Hut, hut, hut.

Hyah!

Hyah!

I acted foolishly as well.

I am by no means a demon or have anything to do with Aku.

I am free to smite the world as I did in days long past.

I am free to smite the world as I did in days long past.

I am free!

I am grounded. I cannot fly.

I am here to reclaim it.

I am here to reclaim it...

I am humbled by your generosity and much indebted to you all.

I am Ikra.

I am Lazo,

I am not defeated, and I shall hold my ground.

I am pleased at what I see.

I am ready.

I am sorry about the deception, but it had to be done.

I am sorry, my lord.

I am sorry. I must have the wrong place.

I am the lost son of the land that you have pillaged.

I am the lost son of the land that you have pillaged.

I am the son of Aku's magic.

I am your dark side,

I and Ikra are one and the same.

I apologize. I am new here.

I beg thee, rise, unsheathe your sword, continue this fight.

I beg you to trust me!

I beg you, reconsider.

I braved those waters for three days without a single bite.

I came to that place not to save you,

I can end Aku's tyranny forever,

I can play a melancholy tune to go with your weeping.

I can see.

I can see.

I can tell you like the pipes, wee laddie.

I can't believe... Huh?

I cannot believe this!

I cannot let up.

I cannot make the image out.

I cannot strike thee defenseless.

I cannot take that chance.

I carry me haggis in a basket.

I cast thee back to the vile pit from which you came.

I did not mean to insult you.

I did not mean to stare.

I disagree.

I do not think there is any need to

I do not understand.

I do not wish for any more trouble.

I do not wish to purchase a rug.

I don't know how she did it, but she beat our boss.

I don't know, see,

I don't want to be him anymore.

I fear my people will soon fade from history.

I fear no man.

I feel you will be happier on the path of righteousness.

I found a way to manipulate the material around me.

I guess.

I guess.

I had to destroy this powerful jewel,

I hate being Aku.

I have a huge price on me head.

I have a tale or two that will turn Aku

I have come for

I have come to make a wish at this well.

I have engraved a recording of my past,

I have many questions and little time.

I have never seen a punk with moves like that, Jack.

I have nothing to fear.

I have only begun to fight.

I have searched for him for five years.

I have seen Aku implement these atrocities before, but no more.

I have spent my lifetime preparing to come face to face with Aku.

I humbly apologize.

I insist.

I knew that this was no mere dream,

I know of your plight, Manaquain,

I know why you are here.

I know you're watching.

I lay before him, ready to battle for the last time,

I made us some porridge, comrades,

I must fight on their level.

I must speak with your king.

I needed my sword.

I notice your treatment of the Woolies is somewhat harsh.

I plunged into battle against Aku.

I recognize your blood.

I remember that blade.

I rode to the highest peak of the mountainside,

I said I will not fight you, monster.

I said my lines exactly as I was supposed to.

I said no water!

I say thee nay!

I say we give the stranger a shot.

I say, there are quite a few of those Aku destroyer beetle drones.

I say, what about him?

I say, why don't you come join my friends and me for a refreshment,

I sense we are close.

I sense we haven't much time.

I shall buy you a refreshment.

I shall not be denied!

I should be on my way.

I suppose no harm could come of it.

I swear it.

I think we've found our solution.

I thought once like you.

I tore open a portal in time