Uncoupled - Season 1 Edit

A big Italian furniture importer in from Rome tomorrow for one day,

A comp in the building did sell at this price.

A frother. I, uh, bought us one.

A guy who wants to talk about my feelings?

A handsome, stand up guy, who's also a hedge fund manager.

A hot, virile, super successful dude in a bonkers pity party.

A kind of guru, once.

A little unexpected attention. Thanks, Tipsy Teresa.

A nice, cozy little celebration

A non stop week of seeing each other. Watch out. You don't wanna smother him.

A party with free alcohol? Oh, she is terrible.

A pity three way?

A raised voice, the use of profanity. It sets off alarm bells.

A session you described as a terrific first step to falling in love again.

A Sonos speaker and Hermès towels that are too nice to actually use.

A spider fell in his lap in the dressing room,

A table full of gay boys taking off all their clothes?

A week after he told me it was over in a text!

A week at the Amanyara in Turks and Caicos.

A work emergency.

Aah!

Aah.

Aah…

About my…

About what grown ups do in private, young man.

Absolutely. Good call, Richard. Thank you.

Accidentally walking in on me in the shower.

Accidentally, my ass! She knew you were in there.

Actually, it leads to a life of mind blowing sex.

Actually, the idea of sharing a room with her,

Actually, the photo doesn't do it justice.

Actually, um… you have a good point.

Adopt a bench,

After 17 years, you don't "figure things out" alone

After 17 years.

After all, one's ears are not garbage cans.

After seeing how easily a relationship can end

After seeing the way you scratched his name off the mailbox.

Ah, and you're still not married? Smart.

Ah, she's a little demanding, but I need to keep her happy. She's my golden goose.

Ah, yeah, that is funny.

Ah! Okay, so this is a two bedroom, two bath

Ah! Tyler Hawkins.

Ah. Ah! I gotta bounce. Okay, the reservation is at 7:30.

Ah. Great. I love looking at art. I get tired of tea dances and raves.

Ah. Well, I like cappuccino in the morning,

Ah… Ooh! Ooh!

Ahem. It's right over here.

Alex has a big podcast about climate change from an LGBTQ angle.

All day, you've either been monosyllabic or kind of a bitch.

All he wanted was someone to settle down with.

All I can afford to destroy is a Tiffany framed picture of us.

All I'm saying is, I find it hard to believe

All my biggest buyers are coming.

All New York.

All of a sudden, you're So You Think You Can Dance?

All of those activities seem fun compared to this.

All right, hold on to Michael while I unlock the door.

All right, I really gotta go.

All right, I'll be back.

All right, I'll see your ten, and I will raise you 16.

All right, my turn.

All right, well, this may sound crazy right about now, but…

All right.

All right. Oh!

All right. Well, I should go.

All the time. Before, during, and after.

All you got goin' on, what are you doin' with this geezer?

Allow me to take you through the exhibition. There's a progression.

Although I might keep it on longer on account of how sexy it is.

Although she doesn't want me to call her my daughter since she's nonbinary now.

Although that might be just a fetching little tic.

Am I warm?

Amazon Prime, same day delivery.

An artist I represent did it. Something different for the people.

An hour?

And and no condoms.

And 12 years later get married to legally trap each other forever.

And a daily reminder that you are a family.

And a home in Amagansett.

And all the other things I read about waiting for my flu shot.

And all this pain and anger and change will be over.

And almost all of them have private accounts.

And along with my medications, there was also this one for Colin.

And because of time, please, can you show me the photo of the rest of them?

And Billy seemed very down to earth for a celebrity.

And Billy's plus one. Hello there.

And brought his whore, gold digging girlfriend along to meet them.

And by the look of those pics in Miami, they seem pretty serious.

And by the way, "Surprise, happy birthday,"

And cocktails, and soirées.

And Colin, despite his dinner parties and his fucking reaching out,

And did you ever notice the pavement sparkles here? What is that, quartz?

And everything is Michael, Michael, Michael.

And extremely worried that you operate on my dad with such poor eyesight.

And for keeping our little surprise a secret.

And for making the appointment with Dr. Sweeny.

And fucking without condoms.

And gave you an idea of how great your life would be once this is all over?

And given my reduced circumstances, I really need this commission.

And guess who noticed that kiss?

And he called, so I asked if he wanted to come.

And he doesn't know that I know.

And he jumped up and he ran into a wall!

And he needs to lock down a pied à terre in the two million range,

And he wants us to put together a multiple showing.

And he's a grown up.

And he's got an issue of The Economist just sittin' there on the ledge.

And he's so into art!

And her new cat, Wilhelm Munsch.

And here come four words I haven't said in a year,

And hopefully up into somebody else's.

And I I completely support whatever you choose to do.

And I am not on the prowl

And I am not taking relationship advice from either of you.

And I am still looking for any tiny excuse or stupid reason

And I bet we could get in this afternoon.

And I can say whatever the fuck I want to you

And I could feel myself getting more and more freaked out.

And I gotta get back out there and find somebody that turns me on.

And I guess it didn't end well,

And I haven't been with anyone else yet.

And I just…

And I know you wanna put it on the market,

And I live there, so watch it.

And I may never get my answer. I've got to be okay with that.

And I messed that up too.

And I think I probably need to wake up alone for a while longer.

And I thought I said no gifts.

And I tried to convince myself, mm, that it was just in my head,

And I wanted to supervise the installation.

And I would love it if you didn't mention it to Kai.

And I'd like to buy you out and stay in the apartment.

And I'll get a tap and realize

And I'm forever grateful that you get to be with me

And I'm guessing you have to buy a package.

And I'm passing all these expensive new condos, thinking, "You know what?"

And I'm really good with wood.

And if I can't have it back,

And if it's what you really want, you can buy me out of the apartment.

And if they're on some romantic getaway in Miami, do you think this is serious?

And in a robe.

And in other bad news, Tyler Hawkins got the Beresford listing.

And in what is becoming a daily occurrence,

And Irwin Stossel is going to freak when he sees this.

And it looked so fun when J. Lo did it in Hustlers.

And it's been a week.

And it's kind of minor league with what you got goin' on down there.

And it's more interesting than it sounds.

And it's not just vintage stuff.

And it's very cool to be sexually fluid right now.

And just spent one whole day just sitting in the Colosseum.

And Kai would be fine with all this, by the way.

And keep your messy shit off of me, queen.

And later that night, we were looking at Tyler's Instagram account together

And laughing at his ridiculously thirsty selfies.

And maybe a lot of it goes unexamined.

And maybe I'll also have a unicorn that shits money.

And more than one of them has lurched at me at the end of the night

And much less successful homo.

And my heel gets caught in a subway grate and snaps the fuck off.

And my interior design, from what I hear,

And no baby toenail. None.

And none of them have gone through 'cause the service here sucks.

And not be reminded of places you went with your morbidly obese ex husband?

And not have it be weird between us again.

And not only did she meet somebody in five minutes

And now he suddenly wants a dad?

And now I know why.

And now that I have, I feel like this weight has lifted off me, and I'm free.

And now the rings.

And now, present and awake,

And our asking price might actually be a little high

And posting pics of my lonely n****ni,

And relax, sweetie.

And remind him that it's Kai's mother plus two.

And said, "I'll take another, dear."

And saw a pretty appetizing picture of your lunch salads.

And sc**** together the down payment,

And six trips to Mykonos that could have been honeymoons…

And somehow end up with an even bigger ass?

And Stanley kept the whole dinner party a secret, which is such a huge betrayal!

And thanks for coming to dinner.

And that must have been going on for a long time before…

And the artist whose vision is so clear is

And the Eames chair is a classic!

And the eighth time you tell your friends you love 'em,

And the friends who were taking me to my room

And the world delivered this beautiful dermatologist, and it just clicked.

And then all of a sudden, the fat fuck says, "I need some space."

And then he has the nerve to tell me

And then he suggested you,

And then one day, you find out this can happen.

And then the frother, and the "babes," and the plus one started stacking up,

And this is an itinerary with the weekend's activities.

And to demonstrate my support for your process,

And to you getting me a shit ton of money for my apartment.

And tops who are also bottoms.

And unless the doctor is 25 and shirtless, you won't hear anything either

And very brave, considering I had a scalpel in my hand.

And we're all trying to figure out life without him the best we can.

And we're gonna have fun.

And what else?

And what is goin' on with you? You look tired, like in our photo.

And where it should stay.

And where's Wyatt?

And who am I to say you won't meet someone here?

And who he's living with.

And why have you sought my help, Michael?

And why not? Our lives are in ruins.

And why.

And would only eat food warmed by the sun, so pass.

And wouldn't it be nice to walk to the corner

And you can tell me how you built such an awesome career.

And you didn't even say "Excuse me."

And you give me my phone back, and we pretend like this never happened?

And you know that that only happened because

And you should not be denying the world the pleasure of you.

And you won't be the one yelling.

And you're not.

And you're really not helping.

And you're wearing a tux.

And, come on, we've read the books, we've heard the songs.

And, sidebar, when would it snap back?

And, um, found out that he bought himself a dog.

And, um, Paolo, if there's anything that you need before you move in,

And, um… there is a workaround.

And… had a lot of fun.

And… I mean, it's been me and Kai all these years,

And… Oh.

Anything with a terrace is extremely desirable.

Anyway,

Anyway,

Anyway, he didn't really talk about you very much.

Anyway, I lied and told him I had to cancel our dinner last week

Anyway, let me make things easier for you.

Anyway, there's this little business thing that I would like to

Anyway, this may be just the push I need to get off my ass

Apparently, all bets are off once you get upstairs.

Apparently, Michael thinks because we won a couple of Tonys,

Apparently, the guy lives in New York, and Kai is planning to meet him.

Apparently, they caught it early,

Apple juice. And then I cook them in my trusty air fryer, with minimal oil.

Appreciate the heads up.

Are we done? Because Suzanne and I have work to do.

Are we friend…

Are you

Are you breaking up with me?

Are you coming to the event tonight? I'm not the only homo on the list.

Are you kidding with the Monday morning quarterbacking?

Are you kidding? Nobody wears condoms now.

Are you kidding? They went with that smug, entitled millennial over us?

Are you nervous?

Are you okay?

Are you ready not to care? There, healed! What did he whisper to you, anyway?

Are you ready to go to level two?

Are you ready to go to the first level?

Are you seri

Are you serious? You want me to go see some guru?

Are you still gonna be okay to show Chrystie Street tomorrow?

Are you sure that's a good idea? You are a crier. I've seen it.

Are you? Because with Colin and me, you were way off.

As a woman and as a mother,

As for having plenty of time, I'm not so sure about that either. I…

As I understand it, you haven't told Michael where you're living?

As much as I'm dying to talk to him about everything,

As you can see, I didn't take it well.

At 4,000 a square foot,

At a party for Manhattan's most eligible men?

At a surprise party I'm still paying off.

At least something good came out of our breakup.

At least you'll get to take home the centerpiece.

At the at the Realtor conference.

At the Central Park Conservancy dinner tomorrow.

AthleticTop?

Attitude!

Aw, that's sweet.

Aw! Billy. That was kind of sweet,

Aw.

Aww!

Aww! Congratulations!

Aww. Sorry, baby. But Stanley told me you're on Grindr.

B A R F.

Babe, come on.

Babe, it's gay ski weekend.

Bad news, there's two other women over there in Stanley's outfit.

Based on this, everyone there should've died of alcohol poisoning.

Be careful. Mixing business with your personal life is a huge mistake.

Be nice, Claire. I'm actually happy for you.

Beautiful day, isn't it?

Because clearly, he's suffering,

Because clinically obese men often live to 130.

Because everything's all about you, Billy.

Because I'm a musician, not a sound engineer.

Because I'm so out of place at a hip, downtown club.

Because it made him look so shallow,

Because it scared my son into marrying ******* Jonathan

Because it's hard to picture a new one?

Because my friend Stanley is having an emotional crisis.

Because of him, I have to see Colin

Because she's mad at her father for dating someone barely older than she is.

Because someone doesn't know how to treat a man.

Because the knowing was that

Because we have so much in common.

Because you'll be scrolling on Grindr.

Because you're a young Amish boy who just arrived in the big bad city?

Before breaking up with you.

Before the disfiguring.

Before Warhol, soup cans were just soup cans.

Before we dig in,

Before you start slut shaming,

Being his mother and his father.

Being single's an attitude.

Ben is one of my favorites, so I figured I'd like his son.

Besides, I think a lot of what happened was my fault.

Besides, you take up enough oxygen for two parents.

Best Christmas ever.

Bet it's in Williamsburg or DUMBO. He's always romanticized Brooklyn.

Big.

Billy, we are here to support our friend, not abandon him for a hookup.

Billy! So good to finally see you out of the station.

Blue camo jacket?

Bon appétit!

Breast cancer.

Bring me home a slice of gay wedding cake.

Brrr!

But after a pretty serious stroke, her world flooded with color.

But are we seriously not even going to talk?

But as much as I love teaching, I didn't wanna come home to more of that energy.

But come on, don't I have a right to be a little bitter?

But do you honestly think it's the same thing?

But don't worry, Jack. We have a lot of interest.

But don't worry, you'll look like a cover girl by the time I'm through. Sit.

But don't worry, you're cute. You have a good job. You'll do fine.

But FYI, you've got competition.

But he can't keep running forever.

But he wants to "think" about me buying him out.

But how can I be happy about anything after hearing about you and Colin?

But how could I ask him for money without sounding like a pathetic loser?

But how much time would that have saved? It's been a week.

But I can't really tell what it is. Oh my God! It's a butthole. Classy.

But I could sit on his face anyway.

But I couldn't do anything because of Colin. Idiot.

But I do make some pretty amazing low carb snacks, though, if people are into that.

But I don't think I'm ready to get that comfortable with someone yet.

But I don't want to upend my whole life here

But I have to see my doctor on Monday to discuss treatment.

But I just got a big commission check,

But I just think if someone took a chance on her,

But I left my credit card at the bar.

But I really wanna stay here.

But I really wanna thank

But I see many positives here.

But I still went over there for dinner, thinking, naively, that I could

But I think that this is all just happening way too soon.

But I will take one more of those fireball shots!

But I won't.

But I'll see you again soon, I hope!

But I'm kind of crazy about him. I guess you could say I'm an old soul.

But I'm not a psychic. I'm a therapist.

But I'm not a therapist right now.

But I'm not ready to have sex on a first date.

But I'm not sure I see myself living in a townhouse.

But I'm not worried about the wedding.

But I'm very disappointed in you!

But I've been faithful for some goddamn reason.

But I've been thinking about him,

But in New York, I like to have a little fun.

But it does actually cut the chitchat and get you down to business.

But it is real.

But it'd be nice if it wasn't the first thing my mother went to.

But it's good Colin's with a young guy.

But it's little kids,

But it's nice to see everybody. How's Kai?

But it's true. I have stage one breast cancer.

But look around.

But maybe I'll have a new love in my life by the "one year expiration date."

But maybe not for long.

But moving forward, don't you have anyone you can vent to about this

But nobody's coming in with a ruler.

But now for some better news. Claire Lewis is here.

But now I see they were right.

But only partly out of loyalty to you.

But over the years, seeing how much you two love each other, well…

But people are shy. Please, have sex there.

But really Tyler was just helping him plot his escape

But seriously, you need to embrace it.

But since you're so willing to barter your rapidly aging boyish good looks,

But single's better for the brand.

But that is why we're here, right? So let's do it. Let's focus.

But that would mean putting this chicken in my mouth, and have you tasted it?

But that's not why you moved out.

But the ban has been lifted, so we're cool.

But the front,

But the only thing going on between us is that I found an apartment for him.

But the wedding's coming up, and we need your RSVPs.

But the, um… the molly,

But then I remember Colin only let us have white lights on our tree.

But they honestly were a little disappointed.

But they radiated the fuck outta that bitch, and I'm totally fine now.

But up here, it's just Fred Astaire,

But we did it for our beloved Colin.

But what you should do is just play it cool until it fizzles out.

But what's with the rampant late in life lesbianism?

But with counseling, they can fall in love all over again.

But yeah, sure, I'm done.

But you are absolutely a person worth loving.

But you are who you are.

But you do. Eventually.

But you know that. How lucky you are.

But you look like you're being escorted around by your nurse.

But you seem to be healing quite nicely.

But you'll never get that price

But you're a dude.

But you're gonna wake up tomorrow morning all alone and realize I'm a fucking catch.

But, Luke…

But, um, good luck, and, um, thanks, I guess?

But, you know, if you need one, by all means, I get it.

By a man I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with.

By the way, the Jordans want us for dinner next week.

By the way, there's a listing coming up at 1041 Fifth. Jackie O's building.

Bye!

Came back, ruined my life, and then took a few things to his new apartment.

Can I get you gentlemen coffee?

Can I say that? "It's on."

Can I speak to Dr. Sweeny again? 'Cause Miss Communication's mean.

Can we have a minute to sit here and feel the vibe of the place?

Can we hurry? I have an eager to please hotel clerk waiting in my room!

Can we please end on the nice moment we just had?

Can we please give the pussy patrol the evening off?

Can you believe we both met great guys at the same time? Maybe it's an omen.

Can you even imagine?

Can you get how humiliating that is for me?

Can you head back downtown? I want to go to L'Express.

Can you look again under Suzanne Prentiss, double S, as in super special?

Can you meet me for a drink?

Can you shave a point off your commission?

Can't take the winters anymore.

Care to join me and my ski pals for dinner?

Careful. You scuff a wall, you're telling Claire.

Carmen said all that stuff went missing.

Carryin' a bunch of movin' boxes

Cartoon porn.

Catchy, informative.

Celebrity might be a reach.

Chalk it up to boredom.

Cheers, everyone!

Cheers.

Child, please, Scorpios can never make up their mind. You watch. He'll be back.

Chillax, honey. I didn't mean to offend your super hip ears.

Ciao, bella. It was a delight to spend the day with you.

Ciao. Ciao.

Claire again? Sweetie, that is not the notification you wanna get in here.

Claire bought a piece at the Sayre Gomez show,

Claire had a meltdown in the middle of the night.

Claire, don't list your apartment with Tyler.

Claire, this is my dear friend

Claire!

Claire!

Claire!

Claire! Michael Lawson.

Claire?

Clutching my backpack like Gollum with the ring.

Colin and Don are hereby disinvited to the party.

Colin doesn't like to talk. He likes to sweep shit under the rug.

Colin is what's going on.

Colin left me for Tyler?

Colin left.

Colin looks so happy.

Colin said once you do,

Colin seemed like he was havin' such a good time. He even kissed me.

Colin texted me that there is "nothing more to work on,"

Colin? Hey. Hey!

Colin.

Colin's a wonderful guy, and I believe in the two of you.

Colin's Architectural Digest ended up in my box again.

Colin's moved on with a hot architect

Colin's not having a fling.

Colin's on PrEP.

Come here. I'm so proud of you.

Come on, Claire, change it up.

Come on, dots.

Come on, you know how much this listing means.

Come on. Wouldn't it be nice to spend a romantic evening with a young man

Come on. You spent all night telling me how open you are.

Come to Stanley's opening.

Comes home one day and tells you you're not fun anymore and moves out.

Congratulations to your parents, Paul and Mary Bunyan.

Congratulations.

Cool, cool.

Could turn that frown upside down?

Could you give it to the guy at the end of the bar?

Could've been a Freudian nightmare. We gotta find him his own place stat.

Craig, Janet, Colin.

Cue card guy?

Dad person.

Dad's there. I'll check in on her a bit later.

Damn!

Damn. Are you serious?

Danny Weaver.

Dedicate a paving stone, donate flowers, endow a tree.

Deeply unsatisfying.

Despite her well known TV work.

Despite whatever the hell was goin' on before I got here.

Did he say anything to you?

Did he want them to match his hairless head?

Did I do something?

Did I use that right? Extra?

Did you bring somebody?

Did you cheat?

Did you do something to push him away?

Did you get an Eames lounge chair now too, or is that still a tired gay cliché?

Did you say couple?

Did you see the skinny ice cream on sale?

Did you talk to her?

Didn't anyone ever tell you that?

Didn't I tell you goin' dancin' would make you happy?

Didn't you split up?

Didn't you two yell at me when I worked at Soho House?

Different. I mean, not that you didn't feel well, seem good before

Divorced, middle aged lady moves to downtown in a feeble attempt to be hip?

Do dog?

Do everything you couldn't do when Colin was there.

Do I seem…

Do we have this kind of relationship?

Do we need to explore some of that? Absolutely.

Do you have any idea what a cliché move this is?

Do you have any idea what it's like to be single again for a gay man at my age?

Do you have any idea what it's like to be single again for a woman at my age?

Do you know what he said to me?

Do you mind if we wander around on our own?

Do you really need a pouch that big for your penis?

Do you really think that's the best price I'll get on the apartment?

Do you really think this warrants a look on the bright side?

Do you remember all the one nighters you had in your 20s?

Do you see two fine ass ladies tryin' to get in the club?

Do you think I should get my eyes done?

Do you think it's just a fling, or this Robbie's a real person with a real job?

Do you think you're done?

Does it happen to look… sexy?

Doesn't she love Colin?

Dog's been locked away for hours now.

Don would share, but he was on a raw food diet

Don't be down about the wedding. The Jonathans found each other.

Don't be nervous. You're gonna be great!

Don't blame yourself for what happened.

Don't get into a fight at a charity event.

Don't get me in trouble, woman. Or you're gonna owe me.

Don't kid yourself! I know women like that. Men too.

Don't look now.

Don't outbid me now.

Don't read into it.

Don't tell my mother.

Don't worry about it. I am sitting you with Claire Lewis.

Don't worry, I'm great with the needle. You will hardly feel a thing.

Don't you have to mispredict the weather?

Don't you just love living in New York?

Don't you know what people like me…

Don't you know what we sacrificed for you?

Don't you know where we came from? Where you got your freedoms?

Don't you miss the way things used to be?

Downtown is for restaurants. Not for living.

Dr. Sweeny.

Drag performer,

Dropped me on my face.

Eh, some of them are okay, but nobody really gets me goin'. You know?

Eh…

Eight grand to perk these babies up, and now you find some funny cells?

Either he's already done some of that, or he is dying to get wit' you.

Either she really can't stand me, or she's poopin'.

Enjoy your moment in the spotlight.

Entrare. Come in.

Especially the Jonathans. Mm!

Especially with a hot all American like you.

Even if that were true, which it's not, that is my son's best friend. Pass!

Even if what you're trying for is literally still in college.

Even the poker chips are carb free.

Even though everyone warned me you were a player,

Even though it might have been interpreted as a passive aggressive sucker punch.

Even when I don't feel like it, which is what I am doing here.

Even with this neck? It's not too gobble gobble?

Every shallow twink in the city wants to be with someone on TV.

Every time I see a fat ass in a monkey suit, I think it's my husband.

Every time.

Every weekend, we went to museums, galleries.

Everybody trips over themselves to go try it, and then it's like,

Everybody wants young, young, young! No one is looking for someone my age.

Everybody!

Everyone knows they have to be there by 7:15 or wait until 8:00.

Everyone looks old in a grocery store. That overhead lighting.

Everyone needs the money. Except maybe you don't.

Everyone, the mother of Puerto Rican Jonathan wants to make a toast!

Everyone. Hi. Yes, your attention, please.

Everything in front of you.

Everything is natural.

Ex husband Robbie's Instagram.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Exactly. And we're too old to find a new friend.

Exactly. In this market?

Exactly. Let it go.

Exactly. Okay, I'm gonna take these for a spin. Wish me luck!

Except maybe, "I can't paint."

Except my life has Black people in it.

Except on that one waiter's ass.

Except that while I was planning his party, he was plotting his escape.

Excuse me, sir.

Excuse me, sorry. Emergency.

Excuse me?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Fair enough. How do you feel?

Fascinating.

Fast, that strong.

Finally,

Finance versus teaching says it all.

Fine, if you wanna throw all this away, go ahead.

Fine. But let's tell them we have an early morning.

Fine. Step aside, please.

Fine. Why?

Fireball shots to warm up?

First Claire's penthouse, and now this sweet one bedroom?

First drink is on me.

First of all, that guy's not my boyfriend.

First year med student at Columbia.

First, I love that you think

First, let me say I'm thrilled

For a a young piece of ass, if that's what you're implying.

For a birthday I told you I had no intention of broadcasting,

For instance, I'll be in Rhinebeck antiquing,

For me?

For some bitter camaraderie,

For splitting up,

For such a mid to low end building with no doorman.

For the comps in this neighborhood.

For the first time in months, looking like this.

For the slim possibility of New York City traffic!

For what it's worth, the whole dog thing is bananas.

For your new apartment in the undisclosed location.

Forcing me to put myself out there.

Fortunately, I have another from the same period.

Four hundred dollars. That's a cut and color.

Friends with my parents. So sad about her and Henry.

Friends, family, and loved ones,

From personal experience, wouldn't AthleticVers be more accurate?

From singles, to doubles, to quintuples,

From that guy down there.

From you?

Fuck that list.

Fuck that!

Fuck the eyes. I think teeth are the windows to the soul.

Fuck!

Fucking healer. Where's my hot doctor?

Full house.

Funny, and a gentleman with skin like a baby's ass.

Funny, I found that comforting.

FYI, a curveball is a baseball pitch that doesn't come at you the way you expect.

FYI, it's maybe not the romantic story you think it is.

FYI, you know, Ben and I took some time off once

Gay, old, alone.

Get it, get it, hey!

Get it! Get it! Get it! What!

Get out! Get out, get out, get out! Get your ass out!

Getting married wouldn't have prevented you from becoming unhappy.

Gina, get under my eyes. I had a very late night.

Gina's seen it all. She used to do Charlie Rose.

Girl, didn't I go to your 50th, like, two years ago?

Girl, you need to make this happen.

Girls, you're both pretty. Can we ski now, please?

Glad I got to avoid that one. Craig notwithstanding.

Glad there wasn't an avalanche.

Glad to be here.

Go ahead, swipe until you get to the picture of my mother

God damn it.

God is in the details.

God, Henry was dying to get into that club once upon a time, but they rejected him.

God, why?

Goes off to work in the morning. "What do you want for dinner?"

Good evening!

Good luck with that, sweetie.

Good luck, ladies.

Good luck!

Good news, bad news.

Good news. The loan funded into escrow,

Good thing. They're not exactly lining up for a divorced mother of a certain age.

Good.

Good. Because trust me, you do not wanna be gay and single in this town.

Good. Yeah.

Gosh, the tension in your shoulders is off the charts. What's goin' on?

Got it.

Great.

Great. And I'm all for it.

Great. He's ten minutes away.

Great. I'm, uh… I'm Luke, by the way.

Great. So, uh… what can I get you? Vodka?

Grocery shopping one minute.

Guy, come on, wake up!

Guys! Guys!

Ha ha.

Had I known this was where my night was headed,

Had. I'll show you a fucking hole in one.

Hah.

Hah. Deal.

Half of them even knew about the affair.

Happy birthday, baby.

Happy Central Park Conservancy.

Happy wedding!

Hard couple of weeks.

Hardly

Have a good 'un.

Have a lot to discuss at your next therapy session.

Have you got his name off the credit cards yet?

Have you tried the cake? It's gluten free.

Having great sex with his hot new architect boyfriend.

Having people over after the funeral.

He almost moved to Puerto Vallarta.

He called me a bitter old queen. Can you believe that?

He can go suck a dick. No offense.

He did a very bad thing to me, your friend.

He didn't leave me for Tyler. He didn't leave me for anyone.

He doesn't care, and we get to be single together.

He flirts with her so hard every time we use him to get into places.

He forgot his gift.

He got it out of his system, and they're back together.

He got my name off in a day.

He had a little dinner party.

He has lost all reaching out privileges, which you should have told him,

He is going to be blown away.

He is half Colin's age.

He is out there in this beautiful world, having his own adventure.

He just dumped me out into this dating world I hate.

He just wanted to leave me.

He keeps trying to hang out with me.

He kind of did that too.

He left me for Tyler, then didn't have the balls to admit it.

He misses his poo window in the morning, his whole day is shot.

He must have been so lonely, and he hid that from me.

He never really told me. He just left.

He never told me he was leaving. I thought we'd been robbed.

He pooped in my Prada loafers, if it makes you feel better.

He ran over my toe. I think it's broken. Get me to Urgent Care before I cry.

He said he almost died in service to the people.

He saw them on his favorite Barry's Boot Camp instructor's

He says I can stay.

He says it's a white elephant. He doesn't want the headache in a dicey market.

He should really help you out with that.

He told me. Yeah. Uh…

He walked out,

He will quickly realize that having a twink boyfriend

He won't really make me pay for that, will he?