Bust Down - Season 1 Edit

A big prank, and if it is, I'll scream

A buff ass child.

A cheerful heart is good medicine.

A few weeks later,

A horn!

A Kevin Durant or do you want a Grant Hill?

A little bit of taint. Chris. Chris!

A little loose here. Dang.

A long time all kind of bitches.

A ****a "accidentally" brushes up against my ass,

A ****a not gay, man, just competitive.

A sommelier of snatch, if you will.

A sperm bank or something.

A two timing lesbian is accused of fathering a baby

About being a bitch ass ****a.

About the expansion of the universe.

About this casino walkout.

About what that white devil said to me,

Acting like you know what these women want and need.

Add three more numbers.

Administrative shorties that pretend to know Excel,

Adult hos. [chuckles]

After all I've done for you?

After all, we are pals.

After my birthday because of all the loose period sex I had.

After some deep soul searching,

Again, it was the silver Honda Odyssey.

Ah, ah, ah. Gah, gah, gah. Nah, nah, nah.

Ah, ah! Ooh! Eeh!

Ah, cheeks. Yow! Cheeks.

Ahh! I'm not dealing with that.

Ain't a single bad bitch on Earth

Ain't no god damn maternity leave.

Ain't no time to be nervous, dog.

Ain't nothing wrong with a side pussy.

Airing this bitch out right now.

All my ferrets out and see what happens.

All my nut on the floor now.

All of them fell for the trap.

All real revolutionaries get lost in the shuffle of history,

All right, little ****as. I'ma go ahead and grab this,

All right, well, since I can't shoot the messenger,

All right, you're showing 'em a rug,

All right. Oh, cover's $200 so you better find that.

All she had to do was treat me like shit from the top,

All that jacking off.

All you think I do is lick my lips,

All: Boo!

All: Boo!

All: Flexorcism! Flexorcism!

All: Hey, hey, hey, hey!

All: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

All: Mm hmm.

All: Mm hmm.

All: Mm hmm.

All: ****a, go get it! ****a, go get it!

All: Ooh!

All: What? Yeah, yeah.

All: What? You?

All: Whoa. Damn!

Alone, alone.

Also lose your damn mind in the divorce?

Also, why he touch you?

Although, not in the traditional sense.

Amen.

An abuser? Man, she always seemed

An era where the boys and men come together and

And and and Tori. There's some more ****as.

And and Sam also understands

And a battery in my back.

And a little bunny nose in the back of another man's car?

And a pinecone hits me in the head, and I wake up.

And acknowledge other people's feelings.

And ain't nothin' wrong with that.

And all these sinners drown in the strange men's pudding,

And all we need to hear is the phrase that pays.

And are there blue daddies too, motherfucker?

And as a woman, I've been in similar situations.

And ask when the next Drake album's coming out.

And balance huh? Huh? Huh?

And be good to that woman.

And bowed and bowed hearts,

And boy, am I tired of going one for five in garbage time.

And by then we been done forgot about this shit.

And change mixed together.

And Craig, I could've fucked your wife, ****a,

And don't wear nothing shiny.

And dribble scribbles, bitch.

And ends with watching "Four Weddings."

And even if you were, you know people.

And expired fruit salad.

And fixed my car right then and there.

And Friday basically

And gave him a little tug on his junk.

And get on "Top Chef."

And give Helen a little twirl.

And go take my business elsewhere. Ha.

And got a mortgage, chores and whatnot.

And have a nice day, and they think,

And he don't know this casino is low key ass,

And he made me feel safe.

And he missed his fat fuckin' niece's eighth birthday."

And he said, ladies free before three, but no stud shit.

And he won't let me in.

And how full I look.

And I it's [stammering]

And I ain't Django!

And I ain't going nowhere till my demands are met.

And I am honored

And I can tell you firsthand,

And I can't give 'em the safety net

And I didn't know it was gonna be this goddamn much.

And I don't it doesn't matter.

And I don't even know what that is called.

And I don't want to have to kill a man.

And I don't work for nobody pussy but my own.

And I dress like Rev Run.

And I either have to fuck him or kill him.

And I just had to look him in the eye and say,

And I love my girlfriend.

And I met up with her last night to cool things off.

And I mind my damn business.

And I think it's best I let you lay hands.

And I think the walrus is Brandon T. Jackson.

And I want you to stop being a bitch

And I wouldn't even be mad.

And I'll look down and I'll whisper, "Nah."

And I'll say, "Damn, I should've introduced myself."

And I'll say, "Me, Jak."

And I'll walk them motherfuckers!

And I'm "****as."

And I'm also hunting head as a talent agent.

And I'm calling on behalf of the people.

And I'm chaining myself forever.

And I'm glad my boy got what he needed.

And I'm gonna be on "Top Chef" in the fall.

And I'm the only ****a that they knew.

And I'ma fulfill his wishes through acting.

And I'ma go find whose nut it is.

And I'ma go get some water real fast, uh,

And I'ma say it, baby.

And if you get struck, you can get fucked!

And in English.

And invited me.

And it got ****as chained up to desk in random offices.

And it got stuck. Whoa.

And it is not good.

And it just didn't seem right

And it wasn't cool!

And it's back to shoveling shit.

And it's becoming clear to me

And it's the type of garbage

And just as soon as that gorilla dunked

And just how cool it can be to get molested.

And just know that when you get it all sorted out,

And let her eat me out in front of our piglets.

And let me tell y'all,

And like I said earlier, fuck her.

And look, I don't know why this happened to me.

And make all these hoes jealous of me.

And meet my hoes away from home.

And menthol, and red lining.

And most importantly, Sam would like to reach an agreement

And my bad on all that emotional manipulation.

And my friends can't help me,

And not and not and not just protection for us,

And now he yells at white women

And now I have none.

And now I think she's gonna blow my whole life up.

And now she's trying say it's my baby.

And now you're disrespecting me by minimizing it.

And now, for a poem I wrote

And now, she wants me to buy her a Solo.

And out of nowhere, he called me an uppity zip coon.

And P'Shawnathan is short for nothing.

And Pamela Anderson only had one kind of hepatitis.

And peed on myself, then went to bed.

And pleasure.

And poured Hennessy on top of it.

And probably had a bigger dick, too.

And prove Chauncey wrong.

And put some spice on it.

And Rachel Dolezal, but jokes just don't be hitting

And ready to start maniflexing?

And said, "I need some honey mustard."

And sandwich meat

And saying to yourself, you're gonna go get it.

And second, you can't do that, Chris.

And Services.

And set some boundaries.

And she be trying to small talk with me.

And she paints little Minions on her fingernails.

And shout out everybody's cards.

And since can't nobody do Spanish,

And since I'm banned from Smokey's on the East Side,

And singing Donnell Jones. So I like R&B.

And smudge until you're ready to act right.

And some white dude walks in talking about,

And sometimes I sleep under a tree,

And sometimes you have to stop

And sometimes, I sleep in the shower,

And step in the name of colonization.

And stick her in the butt with a bamboo dildo.

And take things more seriously.

And tell us what flavor oppression is this.

And tells you he has a taste for something pink.

And that makes what grew from that nut your responsibility.

And that mean Asian lady fighting in the first place?

And that means you've won a free trip to the mall

And that's a good light skinned man, right there.

And that's enough for me to want her gone forever.

And that's why his teeth so little.

And the bitches don't wanna to get hit on

And the city moves 'em around all the time,

And the generosity displayed here today.

And the greatest dancer to have ever lived in 1997.

And the Pool Boy.

And their harmonicas that howl into the night.

And their rumors of people's fetishes and foreclosures.

And their stories of the railroad

And them motherfuckers is plastic.

And then drop that little motherfucker

And then going back to their jobs.

And then next, they got Wi Fi.

And then she can go to jail for the rest of her life.

And then she let me be a collection boy.

And then they threatened to suck me bone dry.

And then you and I could finally

And then you get a shoestring Uh oh. Oh.

And then, I get to have all the fun.

And then, when I get poppin', shit,

And they didn't answer, but when they do,

And they'll be as poor as they were last week.

And they'll say, "Who said that?"

And they'll say, "Who's Jak?"

And this ****a's just a person.

And through mentorship, she now understands

And throw all my shit out on the lawn.

And unlike you, I can help them without using my dick.

And valet cars? [laughs]

And wants to see your downfall.

And was out too many days, and they let me go.

And we are pleased as heaven to present you with $2,800.

And we ask for, um, protection, Lord God,

And we don't know how to open our phones.

And we get paid the same.

And we'd do it again.

And we'll be back next month

And we've been here, like, a million months.

And what happened to you is very, very sad.

And whatever khakis you like to wear.

And when your side pussy start coming to your work,

And who's really getting fucked?

And why am I the one that's underdressed?

And with each new school, it became harder and harder

And with that means I would change schools

And won't shut the fuck up while I'm doing my thing.

And y'all know what that means.

And y'all need to step the fuck out my office

And y'all should greet your neighbors while I'm doing that.

And you better stop teaching all this dumb stuff.

And you call me mean names like Yawn Lewis

And you can swipe left.

And you can swipe right.

And you didn't jump in and help?

And you don't even have a willy?

And you gon' be by yourself on them dating apps

And you had a White Russian for the first time.

And you not gonna ruin my Sunday

And you sitting on a donkey, girl.

And you wear Toms, bro.

And you with all this caped crusader hero talk

And you, as a grown man, came to report that grown man

And you...are not here.

And you're gonna end up with the yellers,

And you've got me inside helping?

And your friends your friends are poor.

And your little strap was not even that sturdy

And your toe is hanging

And, as the functionary leader of this group...

And, hey, I'd be nervous to go to dinner with Jak too,

And, like, she's just all in my space,

And, of course...

And, uh, we, um, uh, we we do want you to

Anyway, as soon as my mom was gone,

Anyway, for real, though. Where your new friends at?

Anyway, one time on a work retreat in Toronto,

Anyways, I got him drunk and made him forget things.

Anyways, men fuck broke bitches all the time.

Are light skinned ****as different than other ****as?

Are the police coming? Just about. Just sit on down.

Are you about to cry?

Are you serious? Ay, bro.

Are you telling me you've been having sex with these women

Around this many molested ass ****as.

As "lil hot nuggets."

As a civil rights leader.

As a matter of fact, they gonna go back to the way they was.

As if each of these burgers is coming back from an ACL tear.

As some sort of light skinned stereotype.

As soon as we finish this seminar,

As therapy, so, I don't know.

Asian people are saying the N word now?

Asks for the wi fi, you just give him the wi fi.

At first I didn't tell anybody about it

At least four times a day,

At the speed of light, it would expand away from you

At the time I thought it was communication.

At the vending machine? Nah, not me.

At your fuckin' party!

Bald, but strong.

Barack Obama.

Barbecue!

Barbecue's where I clean up at.

Batman don't wanna catch the Joker for real.

Be blessed. [laughter]

Be happy for me. Yeah.

Be happy for our ****a, man. She's getting money.

Be right back. Nasty ****a.

Because he's possessed by poverty

Because I believe in me.

Because I know more ****as than y'all.

Because I work for the people who also ain't working.

Because I'm a customer there, and I need to figure out

Because I'm not afraid of these people,

Because I'm too busy out on the streets,

Because love is love.

Because our uncles touched us at a party or something.

Because Sam, look, I saw what you tried to do,

Because she shows up again.

Because that's how I found my people.

Because they grown ass babies who haven't even learned

Because we playing kickball!

Because you and your mother have a terrible relationship.

Because you stole $140 from all of us.

Because your metabolism changed

Become a bad thing?

Before I head on outta here,

Being a custodian without a gun?

Besides, these protests never work.

Best case scenario,

Best night of my life.

Between you and Tiki.

Bianca fat ass already talking about ordering a pizza.

Birdman kissed Wayne.

Bitch, I knew that already.

Bitches gonna fuck who they wanna fuck.

Black CEOs, Black lawmakers, Black directors.

Bodies everywhere and everybody oily and naked and all that.

Body like Beyoncé, face like Iago.

Bodycams off.

Boone isn't being funny.

Boone puts confident language in my head

Boone says, see something, pay something.

Boone! Saw my taxes in half.

Boop. And sometimes, I sleep in people's cars,

Both: Do away with childish things.

Both: I ain't got potential! I got mo tential!

Both: Methuselah!

Both: Oh!

Both: Or when you was.

Bound your ass back to that baptism tub and drown.

Boy, bye.

Boy, I am tired.

British rabbit poops.

Broke ****as.

Brother James got caught in his car

Brother, leave that attitude at the door,

Bruce Bruce Bruce. He's a magician.

Built a beautiful group of people

Bunny ears.

Busting in here like the Kool Aid man

But There it is.

But ain't no one gonna care about a grown man

But all she had was, like, Timbs and black Timbs.

But anyway, you ****as ain't got no evidence

But as I reflect on what God has laid before me,

But at what cost?

But could you not?

But do they have star power?

But does that make you a good friend

But don't worry, baby.

But don't you need help with the baby?

But for all of your children, Lord God.

But Frank, he sucks your mom's fingers

But he's the best at it.

But her OnlyFan was Jesus.

But his mama telling everybody he passed.

But I ain't do all that, though, did I?

But I ain't got that queer eye, you know?

But I can't go back to giving handjobs.

But I can't see my dick juice later?

But I could never make a true bond with anyone.

But I don't got no tomatoes on me to throw at him,

But I got a lot going on.

But I had no idea boots were also made

But I hear you.

But I heard Wendy got a fat ass under that headshot.

But I kicked a basketball right up into the rafters

But I know it's way, way dumber than that.

But I know that's the devil tricking me,

But I should have a box ready for you

But I told everybody I was a surfing ****a.

But I too identify as a light skinneded man.

But I was very mistaken.

But I would like to see you in some Speedos.

But I'd be afraid it'd break out into a threesome.

But I'm a slave in that joke.

But I'm tired and I'm scared.

But I'ma save 'em because you aren't

But I've grown.

But if I ask for it, you go,

But if I'm gonna hit rock bottom, I'ma make sure

But if there's no daddy sauce in that dildo,

But if you want a picture with that jacket, I'm your man.

But instead, we tried to look out for all Black people.

But it seems like you're doing your girl just like you did me.

But it turns out this is the first thing

But it's not the best.

But keep tabs on it just in case it pops.

But Langston is wrong. And gay.

But listen up.

But maybe we need to reevaluate this relationship

But me? Nah, I'm prepared.

But Nina told me that people use plants

But no one wants to listen to what I need.

But no, I ain't borrowed this. This is mine.

But no, you broke character.

But remember, I'm gonna be the boss

But Seymour been messing around on Teisha.

But she can wash the shit out a car though.

But some people are saying

But that doesn't mean I'm trying be with her forever.

But that right there is gonna pair perfectly

But that's not how sperm banks work.

But the frailty in this ****a's eyes right here.

But the real problem was just his diet?

But the real question still remains.

But then I thought, well,

But then Tiki got all wild on some "Maury" shit.

But they do not.

But today turned out to be a good day.

But tried to play sisterhood and intimacy.

But we need thots too.

But what actually happened to Friday?

But what it also means is I have my hook.

But what needs to change is that all of us

But whatever he says to you

But when I ask for the wi fi,

But when I'm with Tiki and she be arguing

But where would we find such a man?

But you best believe that interior is butterscotch.

But you can't swipe back to Nina.

But you got a party full of hungry fans awaiting.

But you on your fake woke liberal shit right now,

But you said you were being hilarious?

But you want to walk around here

But you, you need to get your shit together.

But you're flip flopping on the Lord.

But you've been possessed by a broke demon,

But, like, everything doesn't have to be

But, like, this shit is gonna oh, shit. Shh!

But, uh, who amongst us has not...

But, you know

By Black women.

By every single word coming out of your mouth right now.

By his overseeing employer.

By the giving spirit, the the kindness,

By the hollowed out TV if anybody wanna get

By the way, you would've loved it.

Called me a moulinyan monkey with reading glasses on.

Can "love" a 14 year old girl, then.

Can get the loudest? Well, let's do it!

Can I come? Can I come?

Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?

Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?

Can we please just go back inside?

Can you calm down? Okay?

Can't help that. Shit, let the culture die.

Can't you find other women

Care to join?

Chauncey is never gonna hurt you again.

Cheeks. You know what I'm talking about?

Cheers. Cheers.

Chill, my brother.

Chill.

Chris "Cranberry" Henson.

Chris doesn't see us as homeless.

Chris Henson, Hammond Theater,

Chris Henson, Social Justice Warrior.

Chris Henson's Freedom Frankfurters.

Chris is right. Look at me.

Chris says some sexy shit,

Chris, now you gotta find that Patrice lady

Chris, show Mommy's friends that little dance you be doing.

Chris' prized possession is his mall cart jewelry.

Church gonna have to do.

Circle of trife.

Colin Kaepernick got his own ice cream and shit, man.

Come get these cheeks at the park,

Come help me with something.

Come here, little ****a. Come here!

Come on with that!

Come on, girl, come get this cum.

Come on, I'll take you

Come on, like, babe you're too pretty

Come on, money motherfucker.

Come on, player!

Come on, y'all. No over jack fees, huh?

Come on. Cheers.

Come on. Choo choo!

Come on. Give me a hug. Okay.

Come on. We're "Seinfeld."

Come on. You're Chris Henson.

Come out or we're gonna keep fucking shit up.

Come over here. Yes. This is crazy.

Coming up here to share with us.

Cool people who wouldn't just come down to your tent

Craving, yearning, howling

Cuba Gooding Jr. spent years getting called "white washed,"

Customers aren't allowed to see it anymore.

Damn, you are clearly a fully grown adult man

Damn!

Damn. I am?

Dance.

Dang, you strong!

DeRay Mckesson, poppin' in a bubble vest.

Did they remove filters from your phone?

Did you say you ordered us an entire octopus?

Dirty fridge. Fake cabinet.

Dish ****a, he don't know how to lishen.

Do I look like a gallon of Hawaiian Punch to you?

Do you know how to play? Yeah, ****a.

Do you think that the sperm bank works like a regular bank?

Do you want me to say that in the microphone?

Doing arts and crafts and being loud

Don't apologize to me.

Don't bark at me. [laughter]

Don't be touching don't be touching shit in here, man.

Don't get fresh, Eunice.

Don't give him that. It got hot sauce in it.

Don't look away. all: Flexorcism! Flexorcism!

Don't put that on the check, though.

Don't shut the door on family, Sam.

Don't shut the door! No!

Don't you be yelling at her like that.

Don't you dare pretend not to know his work!

Don't you, dude? Huh?

Down a girl booty for that video?

Down on the loading dock. Jak?

Down to their cars for the time being.

Dressed like a leather popsicle is Tiki.

Dries up the bone.

Drinking Earl Gray tea to tell you

Drinking your pee.

Dude.

E effective immediately.

Easy. Three AP Psych credits. Bald by choice.

Eat it for your lunch tomorrow. Okay.

Eating cereal out the bag

Eating greasy foods, catching heat exhaustion.

Entitled "Bald Samson."

Even all the children.

Even after Mario eats the star, that ****a's still a plumber.

Even if I can't tell why.

Even if you were to try to approach the edge of it

Even while we're dressed up as power rangers on Halloween,

Every day starts with scrambled eggs

Every time there's a new word for abuse, I'm like, "Oh, yeah.

Every time you walk upstairs, you, "Yep. Yep. Yep."

Everybody get mad! Let's protest, ****as!

Everybody knows it.

Everybody knows only two places Black people get on.

Everybody was, like, all hating and shit. It was tight.

Everybody's daddy did something.

Everyone just keeps projecting their shit on me.

Ew, disgusting. Yeah.

Exactly, my ****a. You so wise.

Exactly, you get it. Nah, I see his point.

Excuse me.

Fantasia would roll over in her grave.

Faster than you could even approach it.

Feel it. Feel the pain.

Few orders of business.

Find out who's the most loyal, you know?

Fine girl. Hmm?

Fire, man.

First of all, they're unhoused,

First, it's the dealers.

Fly high in the sky, like a peacock, and no

For a loooong time.

For acting light skinned, dude.

For finding your emotional truth.

For me to connect with any of my peers.

For me to remind them.

For ****as who put rims on they Altimas.

For Noreen to have her house again.

For our baby's first picture day.

For real. But they wild for that.

For the damage acted against him

For the drought, you're already in the desert

For the last time, you were molested

For the Seven Scattered Adventists.

For these people?

For this new blackjack dealer I just hired.

For you to put on this gown and join me in a game.

Framed on the wall.

French fries? That's us. Hamburgers? That's us.

Friday is mad cool.

From all of it and just exist.

From one of America's premiere homecoming restaurants.

From shitting on the sidewalk.

From the free throw line... [chuckling]

From the splinters on her prickly sea urchin legs,

From what I did to 'em.

From your bad decisions, okay?

Fuck all that! [crowd exclaims]

Fuck around and have a Black woman president.

Fuck around, I'll kill everybody in that bitch.

Fuck change.

Fuck Friday. You need to check your boy before I do.

Fuck her and that church.

Fuck that apology, man.

Fuck yo M&M's.

Fuck you!

Fuck your ass up in this bitch.

Fuck, Sam was right.

Fuck!

Fuck. Come on, y'all. Step right up.

Fuck. What are you doing?

Full time.

Functioning as manager and head of HR.

Gah! I hate it here! Oh, God.

Gary smells.

Get chlorine from their cars for the baptism.

Get the seed from a man who can bench 140.

Get your goddamn ass up, boy.

Get your motherfucking get your

Gets 'em all pretty and whatnot.

Getting bounced around by cops and thots?

Getting on my fucking nerves.

Give it to me.

Give it to me.

Give the money to the people, our people.

Give you some wisdom. Hey, listen, man.

Gives you great coverage during peak sun.

Glad to have you all to myself.

Glug glug, glug. Gorilla.

Go ahead and pick cum number 115913.

Go back out, and come back in better.

Go see somebody, please!

God be dropping new animals like they mixtapes.

God damn it, you won't silence me, bitch.

God damn.

God must have been in a good mood when he made her.

God said, "Put on all the armor."

God wanted me to tell y'all

God, you were my boss at the casino.

Going through their own trial right now.

Gonna fuck with a ****a out here

Gonna recognize our potential? What's up, bro?

Got his ass. Whoa, chill out.

Got my fucking marshmallows all soggy.

Got you some Tums and a soft part of a couch.

Goth bitches, equestrian hoes,

Guess what, Jak?

Guess who got named new CEO?

Guess who's pee was burning earlier,

Gunna ka pow!

Ha ah.

Ha.

Had it for one day.

Hanging over ****as, judgin'.

Has a clear no tolerance stance on sexual harassment.

Has to be the choice of a Black man.

Have a real conversation, maybe even form a bond,

Have to do with anything?

Have you ever had ponzu sauce? Wait a minute.

Having to wake up at 3 a.m. to comfort you

He ain't help out not one ****a.

He also does these videos

He caught a stray.

He did say he was gonna get me fucked by some booty men.

He don't even know what he does.

He got a gun.

He got shot. He almost died.

He had it loose in his pockets with some scratch ticket dust.

He just eats other people's lunches

He look like Donnie McClurkin wearing a Marvin Sapp suit.

He said you read. It's a compliment.

He sees us as sex objects.

He told me I gotta reshape my life.

He touched my dick, and the only way

He touched my dick!

He was doing snow angels on the pool table by 2 a.m.

He wears a doo doo bag, man.

He would love to write "Trans Atlantic Slave Trade"

He's a bitch. Uh huh!

He's fine.

He's fuckin' dead!

He's gonna be preparing the pretzels.

He's gonna cry.

He's got a rubber toe.

He's just a big dummy we can run through, you know?

He's not doing it. No, he Look.

He's spitting facts that could change your life.

He's up there with a fucking sleeveless turtleneck

Head hunter. Head lover."

Heeeeeey!

Hello, my concrete cutie pies. Look at you.

Help!

Help! Please, help!

Her head went down, and she made me say unhh.

Her poops probably come out clean like a cup of soft serve.

Her poops probably comes out like little marble cakes.

Her Scion slides into a lake with the door slammed shut.

Her team leader invited her up to do a quick download, right?

Here we go, man.

Here's a brother, okay,

Hey Chris, they got rid of their pool.

Hey, and I hope it's free.

Hey, Cheryl.

Hey, Chris made it a little section over there

Hey, did y'all see Jonathan in there, though?

Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey.

Hey, I also make omelets. Hold that.

Hey, man.

Hey, ****a, you better not touch me.

Hey, Nina, which one of y'all normal faced friends

Hey, shut the fuck up.

Hey, that was pretty funny.

Hey, there, pretty bird.

Hey, we're gonna take care of this.

Hey, what's up, player? How you feeling, man?

Hey, y'all remember,

Hey, y'all, I'm finna quit.

Hey, You been doing real nice work lately,

Hey, you got any chloroform? No.

Hey, you want that Chris P. Crème, baby?

Hey! I said it was funny.

Hey! Oh, that was oh.

Hey. Hey!

Hey. What wrong with you?

His name is Abegunde Madu.

History is gonna remember Charlemagne Tha God

Hit me twice!

Hold a lion cub over a cliff,

Hold on, hold on. I'll be right back.

Hope your braids unravel, bitch.

Horace and me were walking down the hallway

Horace did a horrific thing.

Horace escaped.

Hot, hot, hot! Stop.

How are you?

How clean I smell

How did you end up

How I became a quadruple threat,

How is that any different, huh? I was broke.

How is what Chris doing any different?

How to check my account balance online.

How you sound?

Huh huh. Uh oh.

Huh! Preach!

Huh?

Huh? She got the little

Huh. Shit.

Hundred! Whoo!

Hurt people hurt people.

Hurt people hurt people. It's like a zombie bite.

Hyah!

I [sighs]

I I have to understand this.

I I'm a Lynda Carter man myself,

I accept your nomination.

I actually have some clippings propagating in a shoebox,

I am a connoisseur of bitches.

I am bursting with desire for Noreen to have a home

I am donating this money to the children's fund.

I am hurting for it, Lord.

I am not a custodian.

I am truly humbled

I believe it's under Boba Fett.

I believe section 3, article

I can always find another church next week.

I can be a little preachy at times, I see that.

I can feel her walls closing in on me.

I can hear all of them.

I can hear them screaming.

I can see it in the eyes.

I can't afford it.

I can't beat his ass.

I can't believe this shit.

I can't even concentrate right now.

I can't have an aesthetic?

I can't lose this job.

I can't remember, bro. This protest shit is hard.

I can't wait till they get here today.

I can't watch the porn I like to watch at a regular bank.

I cannot wait to do this again.

I did not ask you here for sex or murder.

I did what any good person or werewolf

I didn't even say "pussy."

I didn't feel like I had space

I didn't know what it was called back then.

I didn't know whether to comb it or pet it.

I didn't mean to do this.

I didn't pee in the bed that night.

I didn't think it was gonna be

I didn't think she was gon'

I don't

I don't care if he got

I don't care if she take the money or not.

I don't care that they don't believe in themselves,

I don't even I don't even know what I was thinking,

I don't even know what I could have been

I don't have to get involved in any of this bullshit.

I don't have to keep sending them lettuce

I don't know fucking Pac Man.

I don't know how familiar you are with orange wines,

I don't like nobody like that lady,

I don't negotiate with terrorists.

I don't understand.

I don't want this!

I don't want to be a cafeteria lady no more.

I don't want to be like this.

I don't want to hurt anybody.

I don't want to pass along this sickness.

I eat another stripper's booty,

I feel like I've just been in constant pursuit

I feel like it's, like, "chronically outdoors."

I feel like Odell Beckham.

I gave the bitch a baby.

I get to make a botanical laser tag garden.

I go where they at.

I got a good job,

I got all the fucking potential in the world.

I got booty ****as ready to go. I got booty ****as ready to go.

I got mo tential."

I got this.

I got you, playboy. No problem!

I gotta figure out how to roll this thing out.

I gotta go clean this shit up.

I gotta open this garage for this numb ****a.

I gotta stand up for myself.

I guess felt close, but that could be me.

I guess I'm technically your uncle.

I guess the Lord must have put a little extra carpet there.

I had some fruit snacks in a treat right afterwards.

I hate to see somebody so thick under so much turmoil.

I have something un ferret related to say.

I haven't played mancala since I was, like, seven.

I hear you.

I hereby step down as CEO of Diamondback Palace,

I hope that stress don't make her lose no weight.

I injured my leg

I introduced her to my psychic.

I just don't know."

I just feel like we need to do everything we can

I just haven't spread my wings yet, you know?

I just love 'em with their thick stockings

I just wanna let y'all know

I just wanna say that what happened earlier

I just want this to stop.

I just wanted your ass to repeat it.

I knew I liked you.

I knew I shouldn't have smoked that weed Chauncey gave me.

I knew you were there last night.

I know him, but I feel like

I know what that means.

I know who you are. Mm hmm.

I know you got a lot going on, but Chris,

I laid my hands on a Plymouth Prowler.

I learned today.

I let my messy hoe shit get too messy.

I like the new "Wonder Woman."

I love everything you're doing down there, my man.

I make one phone call to get you fucked.

I mean this is this is Jak getting touched

I mean, because what does me being light skinned

I mean, come on, Chris. It's abuse.

I mean, come on, people. Read a book.

I mean, come on.

I mean, come on.

I mean, come on.

I mean, come on. You gotta

I mean, honestly, I'm not even sure

I mean, how do y'all deal with this?

I mean, I feel like the menu here is just a list of foods

I mean, I guess if that's true,

I mean, oh, this girl group clearly has something to say,

I mean, she sucked my dick so hard

I mean, the ****as don't wanna hear you freestyle,

I mean, think about it.

I mean, think about it. You want a floor job, right?

I mean, this bitch don't give a fuck.

I mean, we've been going through some problems,

I need a minute.

I need the attention of the sinner before me.

I only eat hotdogs by choice,

I promised Nina that I would focus

I realize now that I had the spirit

I realize that I already have everything I need.

I realized that's just not the case.

I really need this job, and I appreciate the bread and all,

I rebuke you.

I relate to this so much.

I ruined all the mattresses. No. No, no, no.

I said broke ****as!

I said, "Like a whore." [hums]

I said, think about it for a second.

I saw a Lamborghini. Paid for it.

I saw something and I pursued it.

I see you got some new shoes. One lace.

I simply want to play mancala with a beautiful woman

I still have one more shenanigan left, don't I?

I taught y'all better than this!

I taught you how to put dryer sheets on the A/C

I think Alphonso Ribeiro is the walrus.

I think freedom is a finish line

I think I'm doing the correct amount.

I think the thing I need right now is

I think y'all ****as don't get it,

I think, Nina, you should just be grateful

I thought Boone was the strongest!

I thought he was ready to be in public spaces,

I thought I was the only one

I thought it was gonna bark. [laughter]

I thought it was pretty smooth, actually.

I thought my toes switched places, man. I

I thought we were just playing!

I threw in the bread for some in vitro.

I throw chains and I throw these hands.

I try to stand up for what's right,

I used the chip, though, 'cause I'm in the future.

I used to love coming to church with my mother

I wake up wet, lord. Mm.

I want a floor job.

I want my own Kneeling Nougat, so what I'm gonna do

I want something that says I'm here for business

I want to maintain the friendship,

I want to take you back to my office,

I want to watch the big spenders

I was just being cute. So so talk regular.

I was like, "I gotta give this a shot."

I was out in the streets

I was the best dancer in the world.

I was throwing dick in exchange for asylum.

I wasn't trying to have a baby with the bitch.

I watch all his IG Lives and his videos at the Gas Pump.

I will pick up the slack where this company has left off

I will punch her in the stomach really hard.

I will take you down there,

I won't let you pull out of this life just yet.

I won't stomp your ass to the ground?

I would cheat on you, you would cheat on me.

I would have worn my silly shirt.

I'd be here any day now,

I'd be like, "Sir, can't you see,

I'd be occupied with Sam or Chris

I'd call it "Three Moms and a Baby."

I'd have fucked the bitch up.

I'd rather eat bugs!

I'll be absorbing Horace's position,

I'll be back. I'll be back!

I'll be like DeRay McKesson

I'll beat his ass on a Friday and everybody'll be like,

I'll cop you a ticket.

I'll flip your tent like a strong breeze.

I'll make a rezzy. A rezzy?

I'll replace him.

I'll take care of her for you.

I'm a bitch too, you need to What is up with Friday?

I'm a fucking cafeteria lady.

I'm a hero in this story!

I'm a Maybach Black on the outside,

I'm a military brat.

I'm a psychopath. I made it all up.

I'm a talent agent now, so I need some business cards.

I'm a trans dermatologist.

I'm about to start drinking,

I'm actually good at.

I'm all about getting some side pussy.

I'm Azealia Banks, and you're all "Wild 'N Out."

I'm being selfish right now.

I'm Boone.

I'm bringing the products to the streets.

I'm Burger Nina.

I'm eating pudding with my friend.

I'm going to learn from the master himself.

I'm gonna be the boss around here someday.

I'm gonna choke the shit out of you redundant motherfuckers!

I'm gonna eat them 'cause I am freshly poppin' superstar

I'm gonna fucking kill myself!

I'm gonna get hard.

I'm gonna go grab one of Diane's

I'm gonna respect your place. Ooh hoo hoo!

I'm gonna run you a motherfuckin' promotion,

I'm gonna see y'all at my birthday party on Monday.

I'm gonna show you something I kind of heard of.

I'm gonna stand in my own VIP section

I'm just a regular man like everybody else.

I'm just calling to express my support for Chris.

I'm just here to check on my safety deposit box, you know?

I'm just playing, man.

I'm just sayin', we can't be accepting

I'm just so upset.

I'm Langston.

I'm Michael Jordan. Where'd you even get this from?

I'm not a penguin. I'm a bird that can fly.

I'm not even fucking supposed to be at this stupid ass job.

I'm not going cause she be hitting people

I'm not married, and I actually have a girlfriend,

I'm not meeting no baby, and I'm not taking care of no baby.

I'm not some down and out single mom.

I'm not welcome at this party,

I'm saying ain't nothing wrong with that!

I'm saying weshould tell.

I'm selling sperm outside of our sperm bank.

I'm sick of serving string beans

I'm sorry I bought a speed boat with the tithe money, Lord.

I'm sorry.

I'm still, like, processing that Nina's a bad dude.

I'm successful. I know people.

I'm talking about my mama.

I'm talking about some big spenders.

I'm talking about, Cheryl! Go crazy!

I'm telling you, he pushes you to be a go getter.

I'm the head of Custodial Operations

I'm thinking about this for the business card.

I'm throwing justice. I don't want this!

I'm trying to come up with a name

I'm trying to get a piece. Mm hmm.

I'm trying to help your little friend.

I'm trying to jerk off in this Buffalo Wild Wing?"

I'm trying to stop cheating on my girl

I'm your confession booth.

I'm your VIP experience. What do you want?

I'ma blow my top.

I'ma eat your butt.

I'ma make y'all ****as kiss. [squeals, laughs]

I'ma send you a compilation of his best shit.

I'ma tear them things down.

I've been meaning to switch up the layout,

I've been speaking with Sam

I've come to the realization that I have been molested.

I've had many stepfathers in my life.

I've never thought of you as someone that needs

If he would've never nutted in that cup,

If I'm I'll keep it real with you today.

If I'm being honest, we're fucked.

If it's not your gravy, see ya later, lady.

If it's not your juice,

If it's not your load, nothing is owed.

If Langston doesn't start swinging his tampon around,

If my job can't help me and school can't help me

If slavery got poppin' again?

If someone wants to fuck him, it's a W.

If there was ever a time to be annoying for a cause,

If they don't wanna use your nut,

If this is about how I treated you, I'm sorry.

If Tiki never had that baby,

If we don't learn how to play the game.

If we were together,

If you don't have that as a Black person in America,

If you feel yourself about to snap,

If you into breath shit

If you keep doing all this Kwame Ture shit,

If you promise to sit the entire time,

If you want to grow your own. Oh, that's cool of you, man.

If you would've did what you normally do,

If you're at the age where you can shit yourself

Imagine me in a diaper right now.

In fact, it makes me quite the opposite.

In my big cousin Chris' bag. Talk that shit, man.

In my cereal time got me fucked up.

In our apartment, where I watch "Bones"?

In positions of power than ever before.

In terms of male molestation.

In the fall, okay?

In the men's bathroom.

In the reflection of the black, empty screen.

In the valet lot.

In this court.

In this room.

In your home calling me the help,

Instead of bullying us,

Instead of making us look at this

Is a deadbeat, a woman beater...

Is about success.

Is available for this barbecutie?

Is awesome, accepting, and forgiving.

Is defined by our cultural identities, man.

Is gonna look after you.

Is have two Langstons, butter in the middle.

Is he talking about a Roth or a SEP?

Is if it leaves fertilized inside a lady.

Is if shit never changes.

Is Instagram down?

Is it makes you feel all yucky,

Is it off the ground? What?

Is it okay for you guys to be mean to us?

Is it really that terrible, me being in your house?

Is just a reflection of how he feels about himself.

Is keeping us from having loud sex,

Is making my bones real dry right now.

Is pretend to care about injustice, kind of,

Is that you won't pay taxes on your untaxed earning

Is the man whose nut made that baby in the first place.

Is the perfect opportunity for all of us.

Is this is this a Moscato?

Is this White Russian? No, no, no.

Is to find someone who just wants to be the baby daddy.

Is to help the church raise the money

Is to introduce that parasite to a new host.

Is to take his booty as sacrifice.

Is turning washed ****as into wine.

Isn't gonna keep you from working out.

Ispo facto, that means that that man

It could be like a sitcom.

It is tragic, really.

It might be my fault.

It said that the universe is infinitely expansive.

It totally fucked up her work and personal life.

It was amazing, but they all remembered my name.

It was just regular violence, you dumbass.

It works on so many levels 'cause I love head,

It would be more like this.

It would be my greatest honor

It would have to be Lisa Bonet.

It's a bitch outside.

It's a star making situation. He better kill it.

It's actually the adjective after the noun, so it's

It's all ragu.

It's almost a certainty, boo. Oh, well. Give me sugar.

It's almost as if me and that baby are meant to be together.

It's always just a bunch of people

It's because they don't know the potential of that nut.

It's CatDog going front to back.

It's Chris P. Henson.

It's crazy for us.

It's getting taken care of right now, Mr. Pa lay chay.

It's gonna be Erykah Badu.

It's gonna make him poop weird.

It's hot. Is Tuan still doing HVAC?

It's in spite of race or in spite of racism.

It's just nice to be motivated by a outside source.

It's just pulling a stick. Yes.

It's like a lingering sickness for her.

It's like a zombie bite.

It's like, "Damn, can a ****a go to the fridge

It's me, ya boy!

It's not gonna go the way you think.

It's not that serious. It is that fucking serious.

It's our time. Chris, take this sage

It's pee, but go ahead. Mm.

It's real dope to hang out with somebody

It's supposed to be a good day.

It's that dude Friday over there.

It's the church and the strip club,

It's the poor man's DMT.

It's thinning in the middle, but you still strong.

It's thinning in the middle.

It's time to let me cum inside of you.

It's tragic, really.

It's yours.

Jackie, gun. "Can't you see I'm hanging

Jak needs therapy too.

Jalapeno poppers will now be known on the menu

Jesse Williams, Debra Lee, Shaun King I think,

Jesus, Lord God.

Just 'cause you weren't around for the conception

Just a piece of driftwood with some tires underneath it.

Just because you can't take a joke.

Just call your mama ugly or talk about her chin hairs.

Just get up out your light skinned feelings.

Just in case.

Just know I'm in some wild shit.

Just like every other person here,

Just mumble that mess to me.

Just shooting guns and grabbing your willy,

Just sitting in there, not being used.

Just so you can have sex with them.

Just stop asking patients to taste it.

Just tell us why you're doing this.

Just the other day, you said you hope

Keep you squares out of my circle.

Keep you squares out of my circle.

Kicking a basketball into the rafters, but

Kill a gazelle. Fuck it, maybe.

Knowing he be peeing in the bed.

Ladies and gentlemen of the sperm bank,

Ladies call me the Cran Man

Lamont's a deacon.

Langston said hurt people hurt people.

Langston said we had to snitch. Didn't work.

Langston, I'm gonna need you on cleanup, ****a.

Laptop keys sticky.

Leave this building and never look back!

Lesbians

Let me both: No!

Let me break something down for you, Serpico.

Let your sweet breath multiply my wealth.

Let's change the stigma, my enigmas.

Let's go, y'all!

Let's go. Nah, I'm not having no baby,

Let's just let's just all hug Langston

Let's just be real, okay? That's how activism works.

Let's just enjoy our evening.

Let's just focus on getting her out the house.

Let's not make a scene. Let's not make a scene.

Let's remind the world that

Let's start unlocking some mo tential!

Let's take another caller.

Light skinned people as a race aren't funny.

Like a Boyz II Men member

Like a fancy countertop. I like that.

Like a rainforest critter!

Like crackheads and shopping carts

Like homophobes. They think we're gay

Like honey buns or playing kickball,

Like my brother, uh, Martin.

Like my thoughts during alone time.

Like Nina's coworker.

Like rub her back or listen to her dreams?

Like she didn't smoke while she was pregnant with you.

Like that, and I'ma soak right through my panties.

Like that, like that, like that.

Like the Batmobile or a C section scar.

Like the casino or the steel industry

Like the light skinned bitch ass ****a he is.

Like the other day, I was reading this article

Like the type that, like, lets abuse go on too long

Like this salmon. [laughs]

Like when you found out why "Martin" ended.

Like, do you think Toni Braxton knew

Like, grown folks walked up to me all the time, like,

Like, I ain't feeling that with you.

Like, I eat 'em, but I don't like 'em.

Like, I'll mount the TV on the wall.

Like, like jazz,

Like, plural?

Like, she birthed me, but we be fucking the same hoes.

Like, she's been staying with us

Like, this one time, I wore cowboy boots to gym class.

Like, what that ****a eyes look like?

Like, you're a leader. Mm hmm.

Listen, can you bring my car around?

Listen, there is a white man on the ground in my house.

Listen, they're victims, with their cans of beans

Listen, you fresh bitch,

Listening to Chris smash our sidewalk neighbors,

Little Elray know what he doing up there.

Little Mr. T. hair. Come on. Old man that's all in brown.

Little studio apartment.

Lock the doors, play Mariah Carey extra loud.

Long story short, yes, absolutely.

Look at our little dancing Navy Muslim.

Look at that. They do tricks.

Look at this.

Look at you with that new box and little buckets.

Look who finally decided to wander down Caucus Mountain

Look, although you didn't traditionally nut in Tiki,

Lookin' like a bottle of Fabuloso.

Looking like Sonic the Hedgehog just took a shit.

Loop de loop,

Louis Farrakhan.

Make a wish, ****a. Make a wish.

Make her wig get all eggy.

Making trap beats on buckets.

Male molestation. What is it?

Malfeasance.

Man, Chris, what kind of game you trying to run, man?

Man, fuck this.

Man, I didn't even order the octopus.

Man, I gotta say, I see real potential in you.

Man, my mama was always saying

Man, this whole time I thought I was just a quadruple threat.

Many visits, no one's actually ever wanted your specimen.

Martin, uh ****a didn't even have a last name,

Matter of fact, I think I'ma go morning and night.

Maybe 'cause I was cooler than everybody else

Maybe for a week. Mm.

Maybe he just likes touching boys.

Me and Jesus gave everything in ourselves for the people.

Me and Jesus got a talent agency now.

Me and my baby good over here.

Me and my yellow boned brother here are tired

Me and you, we one in the same, bro, bro.

Me and your Aunt Monica gotta go to return

Meet me in room 227.

Microaggressions. Love bombing. Gaslighting.

Might as well have ourselves a nice night.

Might not start for three or four months,

Mm damn.

Mm mm. But I will.

Mm! Oh, this is not oh, I get what this is.

Mm. Bummer.

Mm. Right on my Master P.

Mmm! Hey, hey, hey.

Molested. Molested.

More degrees than a thermometer.

Motherfucker been drinking my god damn Zinfandel.

Move over. Move.

Ms. Corey in the House.

My ass be sitting like a man off work, shit.

My bad, y'all.

My BMI is perfect, bitch.

My car was broke down

My client requires a provisional remedy

My friend invited me to this show,

My friend was left in the rain.

My girl ain't going nowhere.

My God.

My goodness.

My mom used to take me all the time,

My ****a my client will not be victim shamed

My only solution is to just take my L.

My parents are weird too.

My statistical chances of high blood pressure.

Nah, nah.

Nah!

Never have to happen again.

Never.

New cart? That's looking nice.

****a away from me before I whoop your ass.

****a, damn! [groans]

****a, get your shoes off my good carpet.

****a, go get it!

****a, I know Joseph Jackson!

Nina is under quite a bit of emotional distress,

Nina, this didn't come from me,

No hell no, I was not.

No cell phones on the floor. Fuck.

No coaster, you know? Go ahead. Raw dog it.

No girl. No friends.

No hair up there!

No one cares you're 53 with ferrets.

No one knows what Philando literacy is.

No over jack. First taste is free.

No pushups for fat ****as.

No rings or nothing like that.

No streaming services.

No, I don't need a big cup today.

No, motherfucker. Me.

No, ****a. What is your show gonna be?

No, sir, you know, cause every time

No, when? Who decided this?

No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! Unhand me! He called me a house slave.

No.

No. Don't look at me. Don't make a big deal.

No. No. That that's it.

No. Noreen's daughter. Noreen's daughter, y'all.

Nobody cares about, Sam frowns,

Nobody gets hit, nobody goes to jail,

Nobody really knows what he does.

Non side piece things with her?

None of us are boys.

Nor are we willing to look.

Not a ****a who stands on his tippy toes in his pictures.

Not gon' do that.

Not just when it suits you.

Not Luther King.

Not over there under the tree.

Not over there. No, don't look that way.

Not too many people know this about me, Langston.

Not your neck.

Nothing to worry about. Now if you'll excuse me,

Now don't go posting yet, okay?

Now he is the only one that did it right.

Now he's just up there bombing.

Now I'm gonna take this story to somebody

Now ****a. What the fuck wrong with you?

Now peace out, my fellow yellow.

Now surprisingly, you wanna be a Lamont.

Now there's only one thing left you can do.

Now they already broke three of my god damn appletini glasses

Now they want lions to be family men.

Now you back at square one. It's a constant cycle.

Now you go get it, ****a.

Now, can I interest you in a wine

Now, do you still want this chain?

Now, excuse me. I'm gonna go to my white bitch

Now, I don't see how he ain't bleed out

Now, I'm sorry I made you dry, I really am,

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go help them

Now, join me as we speak in rich ****a tongues.

Now, look, me and the God squad, we good.

Now, Noreen, you know that the donation today was for you,

Now, security is gonna escort all the men

Now, some of y'all walking around here

Now, stop asking all those questions

Now, we can't find him,

Now, we've called security.

Now, why can't these ladies suck on me for survival, ****a?

Now, why do you have a problem with that?

Now, why hasn't there been a Black Ronald McDonald yet?

Now, why would you put on Wave Runners with a suit?

Nuh nah, nuh nah. [laughs]

Num, num, num, taste oh so good in my mouth.

Of a Buffalo Wild Wings

Of nappy headed jackals.

Of PT Cruiser paraphernalia.

Of suffering through all your bigotry.

Of the jezebel in me,

Of the pee pee doesn't mean you can judge.

Of the purchase agreement, but by all accounts,

Of they Social Security number.

Of unfortunate events. No.

Of urethras on the walls.

Of vermin pushing deadbeat daddyhood.

Of what that spontaneity afforded me.

Off a chandelier, doing kung fu, ****a?"

Oh, and li'l Melvin big self still in the eighth grade,

Oh, but apparently,

Oh, can you write "Trans Atlantic Slave Trade"

Oh, come here. Come here.

Oh, get Okay, yeah.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, he must have borrowed that."

Oh, here come trouble. Ah, yeah, it's here.

Oh, I did see you there.

Oh, I forgot, playboy. I got some mo'.

Oh, I knew you was gonna flip your jersey back, ****a.

Oh, I sucked all the dust off them shits.

Oh, is that Omarion or a ****a better than him?

Oh, it can go underwater, too? That's sick!

Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Palace, hey.

Oh, my God, I didn't know it was gonna be a silly thing.

Oh, my God, look! Look at that.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, no. Not me. You sound stupid.

Oh, oh, and if I see you near Friday again,

Oh, oh!

Oh, we gotta remaster all the "Rush Hours."

Oh, what disciple is this?

Oh, where am I going?

Oh! Come on! [laughter]

Ohh! Ooh!

Okay, hey, hey, I'll shut the fuck up,

Okay, well, how this one works is

Okay, whatever. Look, look at me.

Okay, you've had your fun, but

Okay! Classy. May I partake?

Okay?

Okay?

Okay? And if you like me,

Okay? There has to be something

Okay. Come on up here, sister.

Okay. I'm a celebrity activist.

On "Matrix Reloaded."

On a giraffe just fucking?

On basic cable.

On my back, but tell him to write it small

On my back? Nah. I got stuff to do.

On my last night in America.

On the kitchen floor it's gross.

On the other side of the underpass.

On the side of the road, and it was raining.

On top of her head, and then put the wig back on.

On your nose like a krunk seal.

Once I'm chained, I can't be unchained, motherfuckers.

Once the sperm comes in,

One second, man. I think he's gonna get it.

One thing led to another, and, well...

One, two, three.

Only "The Steve Wilkos Show" can solve.

Only to realize mid way through

Ooh, I want to be a chandelier.

Ooh, they're the best.

Or a sandwich artist, like a regular ****a?

Or an order of our spicy, lil hot nuggets?

Or calling it on its birthday.

Or Desmond Fufu

Or figuring out if vampire cum is immortal,

Or hear you freestyle.

Or meditate or some shit.

Or Nel Suck Mandel Suck.

Or Shawn Michaels at the WrestleMania,

Or somewhere else to sleep. [phone chimes]

Or The Dream and sunglasses.

Or the fat cats down in Washington.

Or you're gon' suffer the consequences.

Or your contributions until you're required

Or your dance recitals!

Or your one woman shows or your colonoscopy ever again!

Or, like, what shade my doodoo stains was.

Oreo milkshake. Hat. Bite.

Ouchie. My pussy go wah wah."

Out of the fridge. [retches]

Outside of my circle to disappoint?

Over and over again.

P, short for P'Shawn, but it's short for P'Shawnathan.

Painting BLM on our streets,

Patrice came and sat next to me.

Patrice put her hand on my thigh.

Patrice, a dear friend who I trust endlessly,

Pause that shit.

Pays full price for movie tickets,

People ask me all the time,

People come to this conference to create a future.

People love to make false equivalencies.

People paid that much to see this?

People were fucking doing backflips.

Pfftt.

Playing LEGOs, but we don't got LEGOs,

Please put on this gown.

Please, just give me the keys and tell me where my car is.

Plenty of people get nervous in front of crowds.

Plenty of room to do flips in here.

Point him out to me. Which man makes you do this?

Point is, I will be the baby daddy that Sam refuses to be.

Poor. That's right.

Practice and the game.

Praise. Halleloo.

Probably got they dick sucked after little league,

Projecting my white guilt on these bathroom walls.

Put it on! Put it on!

Put it on! Put it on! [cheers and applause]

Put it on! Put it on! Put it on. All the armor.

Put it out. Throw it on the ground.

Quit being so scared about your future.

Real nice work.

Real quick, lady?"

Realize we are unbreakable kings.

Really made me uncomfortable.

Really makes you think, huh? That's dope.

Remember when I first met you?

Remember when Nelly slid that credit card

Remember, we always have Pac.

Residentially challenged. I heard that before.

Rest in piss 'cause you're dead.

Right on that bad boy.

Right there.

Right this way.

Right? Mm hmm.

Ruined 'em forever.

Run, Cheryl!

S L

Sam, get up. All right, all right.

Sam!

Samm er Jammers!

Scientists had just cloned a sheep,

See, she a stud but she still got some jiggle

See, that's the oppression I'm talking about.

Seems like you fucking up the most.

Send everybody.

Sexy. That's nice.

Shaking them calves.

She I'm pretty sure I mean, honestly,

She ain't got no protocol.

She be making the Cinnabons with the orange icing.

She called you a crab with a last name.

She gon' get dicked down by a corny ****a.

She got a beard and her pantyhose stank.

She just be acting up sometimes.

She just chips away at me.

She lost a valuable collection

She makes you pasta.

She needs him, dog. It's so funny.

She on the ground. She down.

She plays victim, as as if I'm doing it to her.

She trying me.

She wants to talk but I'm not gonna go.

She was gonna end up with Birdman

She'd catch me with a bitch

She'll be riding Boone's dick like

She'll get out of our house.

She's from over there, I I think.

She's just so like, wild, man, and free.

She's not here.

She's right there.

She's shy. Still doesn't sound right.

She's, uh she's she's present.

She's, uh, many things. So many things, Lord.

Sherbet ice cream. Oreo milkshake.

Shirts tucked in, ****a.

Shit felt different with Sam.

Shit, a strong gust of wind from Wakanda?

Shit, by nightfall,

Shit, I don't know why my name ain't up there now.

Shit. Ah, fuck.

Shit. Maybe I've never played.

Shooting firecrackers,

Show you some videos I made on employee procedure,

Since the tree in the yard fell on her roof,

Since you wanna go at it like that.

Sit! She's a diva.

Sit. Sit! Sit, Lucy.

Sitting there watching Ari Melber clips

Situation's gonna get taken care of.

Slapping chili on these hoes.

Smelled like different stuff

Smiling and laughing at our corny jokes.

So according to your logic, it's Nina's baby.

So after she'd storm off, I'd give you a hundred bucks

So before we even

So deeply ingrained in me

So I ain't gonna get to the paperwork on this shit

So I can so I can cum here,

So I can get some p peace, or a p

So I can leave before I'm supposed to.

So I can pass out and wake up early.

So I gotta find 'em, like an Easter egg hunt.

So I need you to take good care of him.

So I put on your shoes, and I feel like they work.

So I tried to go through Sam's stuff,

So I'll hold on to that shenanigan.

So I'm going to be speaking on her behalf.

So I'm gonna give you three Jak shenanigans.

So I'm gonna need you to get the fuck up outta here.

So I'm just trying to understand what's funny.

So I'm thinkin'...

So I'ma hip pocket you.

So if you saw a homeless person eating sushi,

So just really wanted to give myself a dope setup.

So much pride, baby.

So ****as don't like real hip hop no more.

So now whenever I see her, it's on and popping.

So she can beat that nasty bitch's ass.

So that incidents like what transpired,

So that mean that a motherfucking investigation

So that means that a 50 year old man

So that smell would go away.

So they can spend it on something better,

So we are out.

So we can't be doing all that cussing.

So we need to quit wasting each other's time

So we, you and I, we gotta go.

So when she said she wanted a baby,

So where you're sad, it looks like Groan.

So why do you have expectations?

So you can see it in yourself.

So you just want it to be "sexual ass" then?

So you're saying that little baby that white lady holding,

So, these hoes are determined.

Some bitches can't be reasoned with.

Some JNCO jeans she stole from the mall.

Some loose beans.

Some of the balls and some of the taint,

Some Sacag do me a little just loose beans

Somebody scream!

Somebody's gonna get hurt.

Someone Black, strong, sexy, swole.

Someone grab the big cup.

Something, Sam, I'll beat his ass.

Sometimes we can cheat right next to each other.

Sometimes you unpack and it's just bullshit.

Sometimes, you gotta see it in someone else

Sometimes. Yeah.

Sorry for your loss, my ****a.

Spending $200 on House of Dereon.

Standing like a ****a flamingo.

Standing on a roof missing his daddy.

Staying broke.

Stick my thumb up my own butt,

Still a cafeteria lady at the casino.

Still paying it off, but the one day I had it?

Stir. Now.

Suck it!

Suck it! Suck it! You

Sure, I played sports and joined clubs,

Sure, we need food and beds and all that other stuff,

Sure, you have your outliers like Mike Epps

Sweetie.

Swinging their dicks.

Take it. Fine.

Talented enough for me to represent,

Talk during the service.

Talk to li'l Amira and Aaliyah, okay?

Talkin' about you slapping chili with no shame.

Talking about boundaries.

Talking about who's going through a messy divorce,

Talking like a therapist and think shit's gonna be smooth.

Tamika Mallory, poppin'.

Tell everybody listening right now

Tell this dumb n**** to sit down.

Tell us what it is that you want.

Tell your CEO that I'm about to put my foot in his A S S.

Tell your CEO, I'm chaining myself

Telling me it's their half birthdays some shit.

Than a motherfucker pretending to care about injustice.

Than that tropical name makes her seem.

Than there are places for me to live.

Thank you, Lucille. I appreciate you.

Thank you, Robin. I told you he'd show up.

That aerobics class.

That could be mine?

That count for love? I count per load of cum.

That doesn't know all four digits

That dramatic.

That go on strike? They get struck.

That greasy lipped moon cricket.

That happened to me."

That her mama's going through.

That I don't think I'll ever shake 'em.

That I'm personally doubling my donation

That I'm really learning the most?

That if we're gonna make this a good daddy story,

That is fucked up. That's not

That is insanely inappropriate.

That Jesus wore when he gave everybody tilapia.

That just keeps moving further and further away.

That load up the pop machine right now.

That makes decisions, man.

That makes men toxic and repressed.

That piece of paper in the elevator inspection.

That she could just, like, steal something,

That she does in fact have responsibility for your baby.

That shit yanking on a whole new level. Mmm!

That so many of you stepped up to care.

That sounds like Frank talking.

That the shipping department's having a little debrief

That the world is trash.

That very next week, I had a Lamborghini.

That was hella fun, dog. You need more hos, Sam.

That was in that Mexican lady's yard?

That was our mistake.

That was sick. I used to have swing a little stick around.

That what happened the other night was simply a mother,

That white devil disrespected me.

That women have to deal with daily.

That you have a good, churchgoing mother.

That you're light skinned while you're doing it.

That's a lot of goddamn pushups.

That's a nasty rumor to spread about me.

That's basically a Raisinet.

That's crazy.

That's fine oak, young man.

That's gotta keep me afloat.

That's hating on education,

That's impossible.

That's not gonna to save the mattresses

That's not the case. Neither one of us was molested.

That's real cool. It's cool to be free.

That's right, big man. Yep.

That's some new shit. That's some real new shit

That's still a custodian, dog.

That's the full name, okay?

That's the problem. So I'm gonna go talk

That's what I would have done to Judas.

That's what side pieces are for.

That's what you think of me, huh?

That's why I listen to Boone Jackson's podcast.

That's why we like Chris, because at the end of the day,

That's why you see all these pictures

The baby dead.

The bedsheet bleachers, the card ironers,

The best, motherfucker.

The casino's cutting wages, exploiting workers,

The chef has kind of heard of, you know?

The correct answer is Emma Watson.

The first one.

The freedom that we're talking about still feels like

The giraffe's happy but he wet.

The girl getting her ass kicked is my friend.

The good lord say

The least you can do is take me down there

The medical term is Trans dermal.

The money motherfuckers upstairs.

The most foul bitch I've ever met in my life.

The net. Money.

The only way to make money off of social justice

The people in Israel even,

The phones have been ringing off the hook

The times. The times.

The tub is hot, so who we got?

The untouchably fuckable valet guys.

The valet guys.

The way Sam is rejecting hers.

Their toenails behind.

Them calves fitting to bust out like a can of biscuits.

Them dinosaurs ain't got no protocol.

Them girls need to be supported.

Then after I got some nasty reactions,

Then he grabbed my penis and slid into the darkness

Then I guess I gotta close my account

Then it's gonna go, what, to the cocktail servers,

Then Sam never would have got her ass beat and banned

Then the coochie staler than a open bag of chips.

Then they getting mail. Then they got a house.

Then they show up, and we leave.

Then Tiki would never had that baby.

Then we can finally do it with the TV off.

Then we can only really finish what's right in front of us.

Then whose nut was it?

Then, all of a sudden, the dish ****as not making no money.

There are good daddies and there are bad daddies.

There are times when she's not present,

There she is. Oh, that's my baby.

There's a lot you don't know about me.

There's a nice pillow and some sheets on that rock.

There's no comradery in this community.

There's somebody amidst us

These are heavy. You got the big ones, huh?

These empty gestures from the whites.

These little light skinned microaggressions,

They ain't do too well in direct sunlight, you know?

They can't even begin to stay ten toes down

They caught a shower, okay? You know what I'm sayin'?

They cheeks clapped, you know?

They dick sucked that's crazy.

They don't deserve a clean set of balls?

They don't like yo ass.

They erase this ****a so much.

They give the dealers their wages back.

They going crazy. Drink up, y'all.

They got mad game, always telling me

They got new episodes of "The Masked Singer."

They just start to chip away at you.

They lying. They know they just met me, man.

They made wine in orange.

They needed a person of color,

They say there's a program. The program ass.

They'd bring you, like, Bluetooth speakers

They'll look up and they'll say, "Save us."

They're over here making egalitarian shit.

They're trying to go to Honduras to build canoes

Things just got a little out of hand.

Think you can get me in? Okay, that's two shenanigans.

This ain't a maniflex chain.

This beigeail profiling needs to cease at once.

This bitch is leaving my house today!

This car looks like driving one sneaker.

This community means the world to me,

This could be a real beautiful moment

This guy? Hmm? Chris. Chris.

This has been an absolute treat.

This is

This is a skin contact pét nat.

This is awesome!

This is it, bruh. Yeah

This is mine! Come on, now. This is mine!

This is not how this is supposed to be going down.

This is palm wine from Enugu.

This is serious. Be respectful. Okay.

This is so bad.

This is some bullshit, dog.

This is what it must feel like to be God.

This is why Jak needs to tell someone.

This morning I started with a whole lot of cum

This ****a Boone is charging people 140 goddamn dollars

This ****a.

This pamphlet don't tell you what it is.

This whole day I've been treating you light skinneded,

This whole rhythm is off.

Those boots are lost in the sands of time, man.

Through some shit.

Throw my chain as sacrifice.

Throw some lion dick here.

Tiki ended up pregnant.

Tiki is a parasite and the only way for us

Tiki was just supposed to be a messy getaway.

Tiki's baby daddy is just the tip of this nut rag.

Tiki's out there and she's demanding special ice.

Till next week, and next week

Till you found out they make my penis happy.

Time to break it up.

Time to pretend like you like African ****as.

Tito Jackson, motherfucker. [door closes]

To another grown man.

To be so mean.

To be yelling like that. Uh uh.

To boycott the Diamondback Palace casino

To break every tooth in your head.

To do those things?

To do what I need to do.

To finally bring light to these issues

To finally do right by this baby.

To fix her roof, a'ight?

To fuck on you.

To get a job that doesn't involve urinal cakes.

To get a motherfucking boat unstuck?

To get involved in a domestic violence situation.

To get life advice from anyone, really.

To get rid of a parasite

To get up all my belongings and shit.

To greet someone in their home?

To help a legendary woman in her time of need.

To help Black men.

To my height, baby.

To our people, Langston.

To read when you're in the house all day.

To say the least.

To see her like this.

To show you how you became the fuck ****a you are today.

To some people that will get it.

To stand on they own two feet.

To start taking distributions, huh, huh?

To stop this sickness

To survive this shit

To take the "sault" out of "sexual assault."

To The Fondue Factory when our friend is not!

To the nicest cardboard duvet on the block.

To the side. Thank you, my ****a.

Today, we have had enough, and like Dikembe Mutombo says,

Today's Friday, ****a.

Tomorrow. But today?

Toni kissed Birdman.

Too many dudes in here!

Tossin' penis and suckin' salad.

Trust me, that job does not give a fuck about you.

Trust me. You don't want to do that.

Trust me. You're gonna love it.

Trying to balance that empty bottle of Martel's

Trying to do what's best for her unconventional family.

Trying to suck up off that rich Nigerian man.

Turns out I'm a five threat, and my biggest threat

Two Kelly Rowlands.

Type of ****as that wear white pants.

Uh [chuckles]

Uh huh. And Nina. Yes, your Nina gon' go back to a man.

Uh huh. His name gon' be Gerome.

Uh, I guess I should introduce myself.

Uh, is this your mans? Hmm?

Uh, meet around 9:30, Fondue Factory?

Uh, she worse than me, huh?

Uh, we come to you today, Lord God, uh,

Uh...

Um, if I was gonna eat some celebrity poop though,

Under there.

Unfortunately, I'm keeping my pussy out of this one.

Unhand me, darkies! A lot of love!

Unhand me, you darkies!

Unhoused. Displaced.

Unlike me, this injustice will not stand!

Unlike you.

Unlocking they potential.

Until justice is dealt to the dealers.

Until our voices are heard and justice is served.

Until you get your shit together.

Up her goddamn leg.

Up in Muskegon, so I'm gonna let

Up top. Mm. No!

Very sexy.

Very, very present.

VIC?

VIC? Ah.

VIC. I like the sound of that shit, right?

Wait a minute, Chris, you love all the people watching.

Wait, hold on. Hold on, Chris.

Wait, so you're telling me

Walk me out the back, big man. Big man?

Walking in the gay part of the park.

Was Nina making you lift stuff?

Watch this shit right here.

Watch this. [clears throat]

Water it, talk to it, whatever.

Wayne did a kickflip. Yah! Mm hmm.

We ain't trying to play pinochle with you.

We all fucked up and ended up here.

We all gonna be in the winner's circle, man.

We are all ****as at the end of the day

We are making a killing selling radish shavings to Goop.

We are pals.

We are the people!

We can live together in a toxic paradise.

We can use your story

We could have had such a good life.

We don't even live together.

We don't even live together.

We each will show each other the outfits we chose

We fight for the people!

We gonna we gonna invite up the lovely Noreen

We got a baptism to do.

We got rocks that happen to fit as puzzle pieces.

We got some high rollers in the building tonight.

We have strayed so far from God's light.

We haven't always, um...

We haven't been being good friends

We just need this to be over with, okay?

We love the people!

We met at this furniture store.

We need to put our faith in the system.

We need to take this to our superiors.

We pick on you because you're Langston.

We should have been looking out for ourselves.

We sleep where we ain't supposed to,

We want change and dollars. Stop dancing.

We were both looking at the same circle bed,

We were over there talking about Black stuff, like,

We will give you your sperm back.

We'd just give him the honey mustard.

We'll talk about this.

We'll tweet first, then we'll retweet our tweet.

We're fucked. You know, at this point,

We're gonna go table to table

We're gonna go to Lids and shut it down.

We're just gay. That's true.

We're not gonna take it!"

We're old and we don't cuss

We're playing the game, you know?

We've still got hos.

Wearing Kente cloth to a Run the Jewels concert.

Wearing your Transformer jammies talking about,

Welcome to Diamondback Palace.

Welcome to the new era, y'all.

Well, all I know is you better not come back outside

Well, I always thought boots were made for walking,

Well, I happen to know that this company

Well, it's because I got my dick sucked

Well, it's his last night in Gary

Well, well, well.

Well, y'all not welcome at my party.

Well, you bitches are gon' rue the day

Were you were you unhappy?

What I'm sorry, you are just

What what what I'm saying is, give big

What a day, what a day it is. That's what I'm talkin' about.

What a surprise.

What about you?

What are you doing here, man? Are you dead?

What are you saying, brother?

What are you, a muffin duster?

What did you think this was? You thought this was a game?

What do you think they spent the $140 for?

What do you want from me?

What happened to me doesn't make me a victim.

What have you given, brother? Hmm?

What I'm saying is the real solution to our problem

What I'm saying is,

What if we kill Tiki.. Mm. Mm hmm.

What is your show gonna be? You know what I mean?

What kind of woman wants a man

What my grades were

What the [plates shattering]

What the fuck wrong with you, ****a?

What the fuck?

What the fuck? Hey.

What this sound like? "Chris Henson.

What you gonna do? What, you gonna go on stage

What you need to do is go tell the real Nina.

What you need to do is stop this demonic lifestyle

What you need to do is take responsibility for your baby.

What? Women out here, drinking,

What's half of 248?

What's happening to me?

What's up, dog? Hey, what's up?

What's wrong with you?

Whatever he wants, you do it.

When AAA took all day, she rolled up her sleeves

When have you ever seen a pool?

When I graduated, they moved to LA to pursue theirdreams.

When I should have been treating you skinneded.

When I was giving you game?

When I was just a boy, and I was not too bummed out,

When I was just a boy.

When my friend got pussy in the fridge?

When she sang "Unbreak my Heart"?

When the accumulated nut floods the building

When they look at you, they see a ham.

When they move us from Smokey's on the East Side.

When you got all those freckles on your face.

When you ****as wanted them Takis in the vending machine,

When you were sucking on my titty

When's the last time you see a lion in a PTA meeting?

Where he reviews banana puddings.

Where is it now?

Where lions could wake up kings of all they see, you know?

Where the fuck you think you going?

Where they at?

Where they use gardening for healing.

Where was I? Oh!

Where were you two at last night?

Where would I begin? Um...

Where you open up about the person

Wherever I like, wherever I'm walking,

Whew. [sighs]

Which is today. We're in 1997.

Which meant drinks where he ran his hand

Which, you know what that means.

Who accept me for who I am, boots or not.

Who am I, Ellen? Fuck outta here.

Who gets to shower after.

Who gonna give it the respect it deserves.

Who gonna teach him how to ride a bike

Who got 'em for you?

Who got touched and didn't fight back.

Who made it inside of Tiki?

Who owns a lawnmower,

Who the fuck is Brandon T

Who this ****a think he is, Kathy Griffin?

Who understand my high brow sense of humor.

Who want to play kickball? Hat. Hat.

Who were touched as boys

Who wouldn't stop saying the N word.

Who you think build them arches? Who?

Who's my leader now, y'all?

Who's the hero now, ****a?

Who's with me?

Whoever gave you that fufu chain hates your guts

Whole lot. Mm hmm.

Whoo, the hustle never stops.

Whoo!

Whoo! [chuckles]

Why are you

Why are you talking like Frasier?

Why are you the way that you are?

Why can't y'all just be meat?

Why does "Deuteromety" have nothing to do with doodoo, huh?

Why does your husband make you work, hmm?

Why don't you bully the people who put us here, huh?

Why don't you just give everybody their money back,

Why the fuck they do that?

Why you would order jambalaya at The Fondue Factory.

Why?

Wipe me down, King Jesus. God, please.

With with with tears and stuff.

With a bunch of fentanyl,

With a chicken bucket on his head.

With a G. A capital G.

With a white woman? Olive. She's so nice.

With a yellow ring in your toilet,

With bank tellers over overdraft fees

With big dicks just swinging in the wind.

With everything that happened to the pale motherfucker,

With Indiana backup guard Justin Holiday.

With just kneepads on.

With me taking the leftovers?

With my new motivational video,

With skin. Yes.

With special guest Chris Henson.

With such detail as I just described

With sunglasses on sometimes.

With that type of baggage?

With the Black Lives Matter movement.

With the likes of Bruce Bruce Bruce.

With the little rhinestones in the headboard.

With the modern Black man.

With the octopus I got us.

With the phrase "sexual assault"

With theJustin Holiday? Yeah.

With you. To the side.

With your mama, baby.

Without a hat on. What? Eeeoo

Without busting a nut.

Without the Joker, Batman is just a ****a in leather

Without the weight of this old hoe.

Would do in this situation.

Would that be okay if I said, look at you,

Wow. Sorry.

Y'all about to have to get Langston to sop me up.

Y'all better come get this Caillou cocoa bean headed ass

Y'all can't beat my ass, though.

Y'all gonna get mad at me if I get real here?

Y'all know I was just "Horacing" around.

Y'all remember, though you remember the picnic?

Y'all said the girl got touched.

Y'all, help me welcome up sister Noreen Hodges.

Yeah, dap away, because I'm not participating.

Yeah, I bet you didn't know I could do that, huh?

Yeah, she's like the unhoused madam around here.

Yeah, some things never change.

Yeah, that way I can get more space.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, 'cause that's why I like my dad more,

Yeah.

Yeah. Can you do that?

Yeah. Eat that. Huh.

Yes, Nina's gonna come up here and tell us about the situation

Yes, they're corny.

Yes.

Yes.

Yikes, Halsey.

Yo, it's the collection basket with the extendo on it.

Yo, Sam, what you think of these?

Yo. Yooo!

Yogurt cups to stick on my eye

You you have one left.

You acting real light skinned right now.

You active, I'm visim.

You ain't even the sexiest ****a in here, man.

You ain't gotta read Mother Goose.

You and me, the exact same skin type, light skinneded men.

You are magnificent like the golden sands of Lekki.

You are not gonna be homeless, all right, ever.

You are so wise. I'ma skip that apology.

You are the father of that child, yes?

You are very pretentious, Hermit Miller.

You beat me to that shit.

You been here the whole time! Fuck you!

You being a thot, and it's weird.

You best sit your tender dick ass down

You can do this. I need this money.

You can do to resolve this. Hold on, ****a,

You can find me at the same number,

You can go ahead and move, little sweaty man.

You can.

You can't even read. What you doing?

You can't fuck someone and be the only person

You can't just choose when you want to be selfish.

You can't just come down there

You can't make me!

You can't skip a skip in "Uno." Fuck wrong with you?

You can't tell anybody. Ever.

You could do a little less.

You could have half ply toilet paper, though, you know?

You deflate the giant rat,

You deserve this for treating me like shit.

You did, however, financially nut in Tiki.

You didn't even cut it up

You didn't get beat up by Nina.

You didn't give me none.

You do well.

You don't get to tell me what's enough.

You don't have a traditional family.

You don't know how to deal with wild bitches.

You don't know shit about sex.

You don't know Tiki, okay?

You don't need a white bitch in a scarf

You don't wanna raise a baby around domestic violence.

You ever heard of shame dumping?

You ever seen a ****a moonwalk with his back?

You ever seen, like, three bitches

You fat motherfucker!

You feel me?

You felt disrespected by me.

You forget that the armor of God is free,

You gave specifics. It don't matter.

You get to go to the mall for free

You getting money now. You a money motherfucker.

You go, "Of course, this motherfucker wants some wi fi"

You goddamn baboon!

You gon' be sitting there in that stink

You gonna fuck it up for all of us.

You gonna have a big breakfast. [laughs]

You gonna lose it eventually.

You got beat up by an Asian lady

You got em' wrapped around your finger.

You got fuckin' zombies hanging out and eating potato salad

You got on your Gucci flip flops,

You got the juice, man.

You gotta be ready for anything.

You gotta chill, playboy. You gotta chill, playboy.

You gotta play your part.

You gotta scream into the Booniverse!

You gotta show up, bruh.

You gotta think about that poor, innocent child.

You guys could become the perfect co parents.

You guys tell me I'm a whiny ho

You have no idea what I'm talking about.

You haven't even been employee of the month,

You hear what I'm saying? I'm trying to fuck the bitch

You in. You right there.

You just a fucking penguin.

You just boxed up his trauma

You just gotta think of something nice to say,

You just like Reebok.

You knew what the game was. Stop playing.

You know damn well we weren't making no family together.

You know him, know him, you know?

You know how to pull, but do you know to release?

You know I'm a Mariah man. Nick Cannon is a fool.

You know me.

You know O'Brien's has a patio now?

You know people hate when you make 'em wait all day.

You know this shit coming from

You know what I mean, but I don't wear white

You know what I mean, stand on your roof

You know what I mean?

You know what I mean? [burps]

You know what I mean? Like, I figured

You know what I mean? Lions in a field

You know what I mean? They let you sign

You know what I'm saying, 'cause I'm tired of finding

You know what I'm saying, working my old job.

You know what I'm saying? Wait. Stop leaving me.

You know what I'm saying? Heavy dick, light balls.

You know what I'm saying? Where your mama at?

You know what I'm saying? You like what you see, ladies,

You know what I'm talking about?

You know what that means?

You know, "'FernGully." "Voter Suppression."

You know, 9519 shit, I've been compromised!

You know, be free of all this stress.

You know, for a house slave,

You know, he works about as much as a kittycat barks.

You know, he's got the jacket from Weird Al's "Eat It" video

You know, I used to use these back in the day.

You know, just you know, it's just some stuff going on.

You know, just sitting out there,

You know, like, it didn't matter, like,

You know, see some of my home videos.

You know, some shit Nina would never let me buy.

You know, the same thing happened to my friend Ronda.

You know, threesomes turn into orgies real quick.

You know, we used to live in a world, bro,

You know?

You lucky. Be happy. Smile.

You made it, dog.

You married now, you got this new house.

You missed a melon chunk.

You need to be worried about your present life, right now,

You need to wake up on Friday...

You or Chico DeBarge.

You ordered that before I got here.

You owe us $500!

You owe us all our money back, especially her.

You played football one time and didn't get hurt.

You probably still sleeping on your mama's couch, aren't you?

You remember that boat got stuck in the Suez Canal?

You right, man. Why should I apologize to prey?

You roll up the windows all fast,

You sink has men in there. Men!

You sure don't have an indoor voice.

You tell him. You tell him.

You try, and we don't, and we get paid the same.

You tryna go to dinner?

You understand me?

You walk around like you trying to sneak out your mama house.

You was in a corner at that Trillville concert

You wash all your clothes with the towels.

You wasn't even that cute anyway.

You watched her pour a mango margarita on my head.

You weird, bruh.

You were just the most successful person at our job.

You were supposed to be my bang bro.

You wild for that. You gotta cut that out.

You will leave this motherfucker, I guarantee you.

You would slap it out their hand,

You write the check to me, and I'll give it to the people

You'd be peeping out the window all curious,

You're 34.

You're a 27 year old man.

You're a wonderful son

You're already in the desert drinking your pee.

You're cheating on Nina?

You're completely baby free.

You're corpse skinned. Huh?

You're fucking my situation up, man.

You're getting a bit All right, y'all.

You're gonna be the CEO someday.

You're gonna need me to help mediate things

You're killing her!

You're knighted, my guy.

You're like the Doritos to our Locos Tacos.

You're live with DJ Jeremy Jacuzzi

You're not molested unless you feel molested.

You're not my friend! I hate you!

You're not ready to maniflex.

You're selfish and you're cruel.

You're so good at not staring at people with disabilities.

You're supposed to say a whole bunch of stuff

You're supposed to turn your pockets green,

You're the lady, and we're all Kramer yelling "****a."

You're the lucky 44th caller,

You're the one who set off this whole chain

You've always been inside,

You've seen him almost play.

Your design taste is a little pedestrian.

Your diet is bad.

Your mom staying at our house

Your side pussy coming to your work.

Yum yum. [laughter]

7:00! I can't believe you, man.

12 inches of justice for that ass, and then some.

'Cause God said all the armor.

'Cause I was gonna wear all white,

"How to get your partner to lose weight."

[as Chris] Ha ha, ****a!

[babbling] Yellow Starburst. Red Starburst.

[barking] Oh!

[breathing heavily]

[chuckles]

[chuckles] Bruh.

[coughing]

[coughs] Jesus said that?

[coughs] Uh, she, uh

[deep voice] I thought it would make you sleep.

[exhales sharply] Okay, Sam.

[gasps] Me?

[gibbering] [laughs]

[giggles] Dammit. Dirty dog head bitch.

[giggles] What I would do

[groans]

[groans]

[growls]

[grunting]

[grunts, groans]

[grunts]

[in deep voice] No, I'm not.

[inaudible whispering]

[inaudible]

[inhales sharply]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs] [groans]

[laughs] I gotta be honest.

[laughs] [all shushing]

[laughs] By the time you start getting ready

[laughs] Keep describing that outfit

[laughs] Ooh!

[laughs] What?

[laughs] You. Praise the lord.

[mimics laughter]

[mocking] Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.

[muffled cry]

[muttering]

[normal voice] Oh, shit.

[panting]

[scoffs] Get real fucked up.

[scoffs] I would have believed

[scoffs] Whatever.

[screaming] [laughs]

[screams] I hate you stupid twins!

[sighs]

[sniffs] No, thank you.

[sobbing]

[sobbing] [cackles]

[sobs] Ooh, you made it, Chris.

[speaking in tongues] Otis Williams Jr.

[stammers] All right, man.

[strained] Big boy.

[vocalizing]

[whimpering]

[whimpers] So what now?

[whispering] It looks cheap. Like a whore.

[whistles]

* Baby twins and adult Jak *

* Be merciful to our abusers *

* Be merciful to our abusers *

* Cold chills *

* Da, da, da, da, ba da *

* Freedom, it waits out here *

* Go to work! *

* Gonna tell everyone he'll set you free *

* Hey, I'm gonna tell * all: * Tell *

* Jak is an adult man *

* La la la la la *

* No, I never heard them at all *

* Oh, my Lord, praise Him be *

* Oh, my Lord, praise Him be *

* Oh, ooh *

* Ooh, you better collect your pieces *

* Pretty brown eyes *

* Putting a knot in my cans *

* Set your poor people free *

* Set your poor people free *

* Sunny days, outside *

* Sunny days, outside *

* Tell me your days aren't done *

* There in the bars, let's follow *

* There were bells * [chuckles] Here we go.

* They don't know what they do *

* They don't know what they do *

* What can you do when they *

* What will it accomplish, you? *

* You don't have to go to prison *

$140?

86, 87.

666 1JAC UZZI.

A lot more heart too. So you know what?

A millennium oh!

A month. Mm hmm.

A whole lotta things. Lot of things.

A year. Mm hmm.

A'ight, I'm gonna go get him from the car.

According to the Stud Commandments, you're not wrong.

Actually, despite your many,

Ah, ah, ah, ah. Take my shoes off.

Ah, ah, ah, correction. I value you as sex objects.

Ah, dude gotta be playing.

Ah, so you're saying we should make a video.

Ah, yes. I'll show you to Mr. Fett.

Ah, you got banned again, huh?

Ahh!

Ain't no way

Ain't nobody kill your baby.

Ain't none of my shit been thrown in the street.

All I'm saying look, all I'm saying is

All I'm saying is if Jak's Black ass

All right, all right. Please.

All right, Chris. That lady over there

All right, hey.

All right, Jak, let's step back here.

All right, Langston, time to step on your soapbox

All right, look, I gotta ask...

All right, man. All right. [laughs]

All right, now, baby.

All right, y'all ready? Yeah.

All right, y'all, before we get to the word,

All right, y'all, listen up.

All right.

All right. Yeah.

All right. All right.

All right. I'll do it.

All right. Okay. Yellow dress?

All righty. All right.

All the armor. All of it.

All therapy does is give false solutions.

All this ****a philosophy

Alright, cool. That sounds great. Do that.

Alright. Let's go.

Also, I saw that "pals/slap" game on YouTube.

And are there red daddies

And be like, "Hey, yo, fuck that ****a."

And besides, you don't think I could provide for my kid?

And coming around us every Sunday, being a thot.

And every time I try to say something,

And fuck God!

And I am almost certain that that's illegal.

And I know you liked those. I'm so sorry.

And I'm glad you know you should be grateful.

And I'm going, too, to talk to somebody

And I'm gonna let you know, you ain't slick.

And if you wanna pop off,

And lose his job?

And make your credit card all dirty.

And not her pussy walls?

And she put exclamation points on that one?

And some more confidence.

And sometimes, Langston, we don't even fuck.

And sometimes, when it comes to Black people,

And then, you say? No.

And they curly.

And they do it at the worst fucking time.

And we put the baby in foster care?

And what will you be doing, Mrs. White Bitch?

And when this is all done,

And with the way you eat after 10 p.m.,

And y'all see them big old pants, right?

And your inability to get hard

Anyway, in a series of unfortunate events,

Anyways. Because this is my girl

Are you selling drugs outside of our sperm bank?

Are you throwing semen on me?

Are you tired of manifesting

Arf. Arf. No. Don't bark at me.

As you can imagine,

Aw, man. [laughs]

Aw, nah, I'ma fuck that bitch up every time I see her.

Aw, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen,

Aww, you can't have a little sparkly face

Ay, I thought y'all had a pool.

Ayesha Curry!

Baby free. No, that's cool.

Baby, let's please leave God out of this, okay?

Baby, Westside when we ride.

Bastard.

Because everybody's looking at us.

Because everything doesn't need to be unpacked.

Because he rented a Lamborghini.

Because I needed the shit waxed and buffed, ****a.

Because I'm devastated.

Because they need money and food for survival,

Because this is my home.

Because you didn't play your part.

Been there.

Begone, Satan. Stop that.

Besides, God has a plan. Your mom's gonna die soon.

Best in the world, ****a. Boom, boom.

Bet it is the bitch outside.

Bet Tom Cruise could do it.

Big problem. Big, big problem.

Bitch wild, you know? What you gonna do?

Bitch, I'ma kill you.

Bitch, play an ass right. Stop.

Bitch, what system?

Bitch, what?

Bitches wanna hold me accountable, okay.

Bitcoin. I accept a bit of bitches.

Bless your mother.

Boy, I don't know what you talking about,

Boy, I'm just playing. We outside.

Boy, shut up.

Brah.

Brah.

Brah. Come on, bro. Don't start that shit again.

Bro, at the end of the day,

Bro, I'm telling you, you're not ready for this shit.

Bro, this is wild.

Bruce Bruce the comedian? He's funny.

Bruh, this bird got a big old ass, dog.

Bubble, bubble. That's right.

Busy day. [chuckles]

But bro, I'm not just some random bitch.

But can they make the shrimp Impossible?

But for what?

But he's my boss, not my husband.

But homeless women were the last on my list,

But I can't.

But I don't feel that with you right now.

But I have everybody's passwords.

But I'm not a nasty ****a!

But I'm your cousin. Ooh, better roll to the side.

But I'm your friend. Yah, to the side.

But I'ma keep it real with you, Chris.

But in life, if you want it...

But it wasn't a joke.

But look at me now. Yeah.

But look at you now.

But me and Tiki like, hit it off.

But Sam.

But she's a homie. I would want to jump in too,

But to make a video, we have to have a spokesman.

But why cheat? Right?

But why would I go out to eat

But why?

But you could put your 7 Eleven cup

But you need to get focused, you know what I mean?

But you understand how that's problematic,

But you're not a boy.

But your baby is eating steak in the sun.

But, it was an abuse of power nonetheless.

Bye, little girl.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye. Bye! Get outta here.

C O M P

C'mon. There's too much going on today.

Call to action. The real culprit here

Can I use my last shenanigan to wish for more shenanigans?

Can't nobody stop you, except you.

Cheers to that.

Cheryl? Now, is that any way

Chill out, bro. Tiki's not a parasite.

Choir directors? What? No.

Chris is doing something really cool outside.

Chris P. Crème. Not the donut, but my nut.

Chris, don't do this.

Chris, I gotta ask you, man.

Chris, I know you're trying to do something,

Chris, like I said, you are loved.

Chris, there's no printer or pleasure in here.

Chris, we got it.

Chris, what the fuck are you doing?

Chris, why can't you just fuck a receptionist

Chris. What?

Chris. Where would we find

Chris...that wasn't dumb.

Christian love. Christian love.

Christopher, are you drunk?

Come equipped with game.

Come here! No, no, Nina!

Come here.

Come on yeah!

Come on, anything you can do to help me out.

Come on, baby. You're our only hope, okay?

Come on, I'm playin'! Are you sick?

Come on, Langston.

Come on, let me get you a little straw.

Come on, man.

Come on, man. No! No!

Come on, man. Come on, brother.

Come on, man. This is good weed.

Come on, y'all. I got some Sacagawea, man.

Come on. Like, you don't

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. You smoking with a king, ****a.

Come on. Now he's just showboatin'.

Come on. Should we be a little naughty?

Come with me, please.

Coming around in your little capri pants

Continue.

Cool.

Copped a winter coat when you was smashing them twins.

Crème brûlée. Two spoons.

Cuckoo cuckoo! Ay ay ay ay!

Da, da, da, da. You had your chance.

Damn right.

Damn right. What's your name, Kemosabe?

Damn, Langston, that's beautiful.

Damn, we all deserve to eat pussy

Damn! [all cheering]

Damn. My girls turned on me.

Damn. Right?

Damn. We be chilling.

Damn. I missed it.

Damn. That's really shitty, Cheryl.

Dealers will now be exclusively paid through tips.

Dear Jesus, heavenly father in the manger and whatnot,

Disgusting. Dude, that's fucked up.

Do you hear this guy, Mason? I do, Mayshon.

Do you remember Sister Jenkins?

Do you still have the boots? No.

Dog, come on. That's right.

Dog, he had it in the first half.

Dog.

Don't call me L. Kelly!

Don't fuck with Friday. It's not worth it.

Don't touch me. Nah, nah, you the man.

Don't try to act like you was keeping it all play

Don't worry about it. My Almond Joy colored friend.

Don't worry, baby. That's just menthol.

Doo, doo, doo, doo. He eat hot sauce.

Door to door service. Y'all welcome, ****as.

Drinking your pee.

Dude, congratulations! That's so dope!

Dude, is no one I'm sorry.

Dude, stay away from those old ladies, man.

Dude, you gotta take it easy, okay?

Dude, you need to What?

Dude. No.

Eeeooo. See, it's 'cause you know

Enough of that shit.

Enough with all this bone talk.

Enough! Enough of this! I say enough!

Ephesians 6:11.

Even Future wouldn't do that.

Even him?

Even in honor of other bitches?

Even these under the tree bitches?

Every man is a Mariah man, and yes, Nick Cannon's foolish,

Everybody went apeshit. They lost their minds.

Everybody's always talking about

Exactly, exactly. It look, if I am in the bathroom

Exactly, my sister. Exactly.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Exactly. Downloading, downloading.

Exactly. Like, I know there's no adult version of me

Excuse me? Just chill.

Fair enough, ACLU.

Feliz Navidad, broke ass ****a.

Financial palsy. That's new.

Fine then, fuck you and that little motherfucker

Fine. I'll hold the baby.

Fine. You know what? Fine.

First of all, you not gonna yell at me in my house,

First off, fuck your bitch and the click you claim.

For real? Can I bring my friend?

For ten minutes? Whatever.

For the homies!

For too damn long, this has been happening

Forgive me, Lord, but I have been starved.

Friday?

From what?

Fu

Fuck outta here!

Fuck section 3, ****a. Why you ain't beat his ass?

Fuck you doing, newbie?

Fuck you! Kickball!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fucking all these homeless women.

Fucking right. Yes.

Fucking stupid bitch.

Function this dick.

Gang or not, it's exploitation.

Gary, Indiana. 12:37 p.m.

Gentlemen. Oh, the octopus is here. Yes.

Get it together, L. Kelly.

Get me a light. Ain't there a

Get off his dick.

Get off my table. Ah, see, see?

Get off of me!

Get real. Come on. [crowd chattering]

Get up! Jeez.

Get up. Okay.

Get your hands off me!

Get your hands off of me, darky!

Girl, ain't nobody thinking about your birthday.

Girl, I am good.

Girl, stop playing with me.

Go ahead. You can say it.

Go! Go, girl! Go win some!

God damn! Uh!

God.

Gonna hit this bar real quick,

Good for them, man. Oh, damn.

Good. Now you can tell your mama

Got you. Yeah.

Great. So as you know,

Grilling, Hawaiian shirt. Oh!

Gross.

Guys, come on.

Guys. Guys, stop. Just stop, okay?

Ha ha. Come on, man.

Ha ha. Oh, damn, that was a good one.

Hands! That's not where hands go!

Happily. They long.

He buttery as hell.

He can dance his little ass off.

He did that to me late in the office one night.

He don't like eating inside.

He is just a person! [all shouting]

He missed with that tree, but he gon' get her.

He shouldn't.

He took me surfing. I didn't get in the water,

He's funny. Bro, and I like his suits.

He's this dude who's like a Tony Robbins

Hear me out.

Hello? Am I on the air?

Help!

Help! Someone please help!

Here you go, Iyanla Vanzant'n again.

Here.

Here.

Hey, babe, why are you so upset?

Hey, Chris is back.

Hey, Chris! Hey, girl.

Hey, don't talk to my girl like that.

Hey, hey, hey. This all feels like

Hey, hey, hey. Okay.

Hey, hey, hey. We gotta keep composed.

Hey, hey, Sam. Hey, come here.

Hey, I I don't know if she Black,

Hey, I bet they heard them big ol' pants coming.

Hey, I just wish you can take her!

Hey, I'll even trade you my pet crawfish for it.

Hey, I'll take one. Okay.

Hey, if y'all don't see me for a while,

Hey, is that the Dracaena Janet Craig

Hey, it's Jrue Holiday's brother,

Hey, Jarvis. Get a load of this.

Hey, listen here, khaki onesie,

Hey, listen up, bunch of ninnies.

Hey, look, bruh.

Hey, man, take off those Heelys.

Hey, man. This where the printer is?

Hey, stop.

Hey, there's a bunch of rowdy ass girls out there

Hey, to booty men. Cheers.

Hey, we're pals, right?

Hey, what's pals backwards?

Hey, what's up, Jak?

Hey, where did Jak go?

Hey, y'all,

Hey, y'all, Horace left.

Hey, y'all, if y'all need any magazines,

Hey, y'all, your boy gonna be over there

Hey, yo, ah ah ah ah ah.

Hey, yo, whose plantation would you work for

Hey!

Hey! What up?

Hey! you can't do that to us!

Hey. What's up, baby?

Hey. Hey, y'all. Diva now.

Hey. You so how you do

Him.

His cigarette went He's gonna cry.

Hm.

Hm. Yeah.

Hmm, see, that's why I got that tarp, you know?

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. Them shits is weird.

Ho.

Hold up, dog, are you saying just 'cause they're homeless,

Hold up, man. It's my finger.

Homeless women are dope as hell, man.

Homeless women?

Honestly, he did the same shit to me

Houseless. Homeless.

Huh?

Huh? Maniflex!

Huh? No. Oh, it's a

Hurt people hurt people.

I I feel some kind of foreclosure energy

I ain't going out there, man.

I appreciate that.

I be saying shit all the time.

I can't believe you didn't help me.

I can't sit down? You have a lot of seats.

I cannot believe that you did that to me.

I couldn't even be homeless, and I have a home.

I did it. I busted all the nuts.

I didn't lie to you. You did.

I didn't really think this was your thing,

I do not make friends with women

I do what I can.

I don't care what time of the month it is.

I don't care what you said.

I don't feel like it, Sam. Like, I'm done.

I don't give a damn if the man is Ra's al Ghul.

I don't give a fuck who's looking at us.

I don't hate you. You hate me.

I don't know what he does.

I don't know who you could have been.

I don't know why he picked me, I don't.

I don't know why you fucked up.

I don't know, Cheryl.

I don't know, I thought it was like a cool reveal,

I don't know, man. It kind of all just happened,

I don't know, ****a, I just met you.

I don't know, ****a.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. It seems offensive,

I don't know. That's why I'm here.

I don't know. Why am I talking to meat?

I don't mean to rush the process, Joel Embiid,

I don't need no damn jacket.

I don't need y'all bugging out

I don't think so.

I don't think this is the place for you, Chris.

I don't think you understand how strong a ****a was.

I don't want you to be like that.

I feel like a fool. Mm.

I finally found a group of intellectual peers

I get it. He's like a business magician.

I got a lil bit of ligo. That's my truth.

I got it from my tree.

I got you, bruh!

I got you. All right. Give me some. Mm.

I guess I never knew

I guess, bro, but, you know,

I had no idea. I'm so sorry.

I hate that you're the only person who will listen.

I have a testimony, big suit bastard.

I have an inside you can come in.

I have to give more.

I have to say, it would be nice

I heard you moved out to some farm

I hope I choke on my burger and die.

I just didn't think everybody saw me

I just feel like I gotta show up and make it up to her.

I just need a quick beat to sort out your samples

I keep rethinking it, and I just wish I had just

I knew I was a boy. Sam...

I like that ****a too.

I love Boone. Boy, I went to one seminar.

I love her. I do too, though.

I love you, man.

I made it inside,

I mean, her name's Tiki, and she's my side bitch.

I mean, I guess, but...

I mean, I thought he was gonna water it

I mean, it wasn't supposed to be all this.

I mean, look at all these people watching, man.

I mean, yes. Yes.

I messed with another bitch.

I popped out the pussy wanting pussy, the end!

I said are y'all gonna be mad at me if I get real up here?

I said nah, ****a, nah!

I say fuck potential.

I say, all my fellow employees, let's band together

I should have socked him, huh?

I still can't believe I worked

I swear to God, if one more person laughs in my face

I think Friday's Iranian.

I think I can just leave my toe out.

I think I'm gonna get a plate to go.

I think she got it from, like,

I think so. Okay.

I think we did a really nice job.

I think we should be putting all of our chips

I thought that was Georgia O'Queef.

I told you you was being a thot.

I wanna dress the baby like the honorable minister

I want fair wages for my people.

I want to split this check,

I was awful to you.

I was just making a joke, man.

I was with Nina's friends, and I was being hilarious

I will not, older man.

I will not.

I would count that as your last,

I'd let you buy that shit.

I'd slave for those two dread headed twins

I'll be discussing next steps.

I'll be real, I didn't even know

I'll be right back.

I'll choke the fuck out of ya.

I'll never kiss Friday!

I'll raise the child.

I'll smack you dark skinned.

I'm a whole lot of ****a, bro.

I'm fuckin' tired of your raggedy ass shit.

I'm going down to that sperm bank,

I'm going to see him tomorrow.

I'm gonna take that wig off and just smack a egg

I'm gonna use this flashlight

I'm just glad you're not like these other idiots around here.

I'm just saying, like, I don't like my mama at all.

I'm just so grateful for you, baby.

I'm not doing that.

I'm not even sure Jak works there.

I'm not gonna trust you, Nina,

I'm not poor, I'm broke,

I'm not pregnant.

I'm not saying that. You lied to me.

I'm not talking about him, dummy.

I'm okay.

I'm playing. You know I don't jerk off in there.

I'm pretty sure Friday's an only child.

I'm really 'bout to suck this African ****a's dick.

I'm really proud of you putting those walls up

I'm searching for the right word.

I'm sorry, Chris,

I'm sorry, Chris.

I'm sorry, what?

I'm sorry, what?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. One second here.

I'm sorry. What? Yeah, so go crazy.

I'm talkin' 'bout, being alone.

I'm the infected one, sir.

I'm warning you, she is way scarier

I'ma fucking kill you, bitch.

I'ma go home and get dressed. You go home and get dressed.

I'ma go out front and pee on somebody's car.

I've been moolested.

I've taken a few shame dumps.

If a bitch tall, what you gonna do?

If anything, you slapped yourself, sweetie.

If I'm eating a celebrity's poop,

If it's not your splatter, it doesn't matter.

If you fuck on a giraffe, it's still bestiality.

In conclusion, Chauncey,

In the meantime,

Indeed, man.

Is it off the ground?

Is there something you want to say to me?

Is this side table mid century?

It ain't better than honey buns!

It has been 35 fucking years, Sam.

It isn't my house, and Nina and I aren't married.

It makes you a tool.

It was Horace that touched me.

It's it's it's hot, okay?

It's 2022.

It's a shame that that tree fell on her roof.

It's barely off the ground. That shit's hovering.

It's European.

It's like a lingering sickness.

It's no big deal. I'm just fucking with you

It's not even about Nina.

It's not funny. Tender dick.

It's not funny. Don't high five him for that.

It's not that simple. It's psychological trauma.

It's on me, too.

It's our time now.

It's Pa lah chay.

It's really messed up.

Ito? What are you doing here?

Jak, you come here all the time.

Jeremy Jacuzzi got me wet.

Jesus and Joseph Christ. Who John Wick ed you?

Jesus Christ, calm down.

Jesus Christ, man. What now?

Jesus Christ. What the heck?

Jesus clicked subscribe,

Jesus fucking Christ, why are you yelling, Nina?

Jrue Holiday's baby brother? That's the one.

Jrue Holiday's brother? Damn, that's dope.

Just be yourself. You're a great guy.

Just pass it to me regular.

Justice! Chris.

Keep my voice down for what, Sam?

Keep squealing like that,

Ladies, I want to apologize.

Ladies, sorry to interrupt.

Lady, have you ever heard of a bible?

Lang?

Langston, come on, bro.

Langston, Nina's calling you. [coughs]

Langston. Mm hmm?

Langston. Mm mm mm.

Let him go, and be gone! Get off of me!

Let it get lost in the system

Let me get this straight. So so I can

Let me go.

Let me tell you this.

Let's move, guys!

Life is what's wrong, ****a.

Like like Peter Pan syndrome?

Like what?

Like, recently?

Listen, it starts with the dealers.

Look at these motherfuckers.

Look at this lost soul.

Look at you counting shenanigans like you ain't

Look at you, caring about

Look at you, though.

Look at your neighbor and say,

Look back at that man you were on Monday.

Look what I found! Hold out your hands.

Look what she sent me.

Look, baby, if we talk your mom up in God's house,

Look, bro, the situation is fucked up.

Look, Chris, I don't care how we do it,

Look, I don't know all the terms and conditions

Look, I don't know what to tell y'all, okay?

Look, I've been thinking.

Look, my ****a, you're obviously going

Look, we have more Black people

Look, you can't just roll up there

Look.

Lord... Yeah. It's okay.

Madam, this is a family restaurant.

Make me say unhh.

Man, fuck this shit!

Man, I don't know. Some rich white ****a

Man, it smells like a dog diaper in this bitch.

Man, it was a gift!

Man, she just playing.

Man, they was tripping, okay?

Man, you ain't done shit. What?

Man, you ain't never said nothing about these people

Man, you got more bitch in you than I thought.

Maniflexation is about waking up every morning

May I interest you two in some dessert this evening?

Maybe like a tiny bit on that side.

Maybe the greatest freedom is being able to walk away

Me and my mom are cool, bro. We like Young Thug and Gunna.

Me and my mom got a good thing going, too, man.

Me? Yeah, you.

Metaphorically.

Mirror Klay Thompson?

Mm hm. It just so happens

Mm hmm, and all that playing

Mm hmm, okay. I like that.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. Although it would be nice.

Mm hmm. But a crushed spirit

Mm hmm. Don't tempt him.

Mm hmm. Everybody knows the rules.

Mm hmm. I'm tired of waiting for it.

Mm hmm. I've been fucking bitches

Mm hmm. Like, every choice I make

Mm hmm. Talking 'bout, "I'm good."

Mm hmm. That wasn't dumb at all.

Mm hmm. Who's Boone Jackson?

Mm hmm. [indistinct]

Mm hmm. Chris is right.

Mm hmm. Exactly.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. Starting with these weak ass sixes right here.

Mm hmm. What? Mm. [cackles]

Mm mm mm. Everything.

Mm mm, you are too pretty to be working.

Mm mm.

Mm mm. Shot glasses.

Mm mm. You know better than that.

Mm mm. No, not today.

Mm mm. Not going out there. I already told you.

Mm mm. Not in that outfit. Not in them shoes.

Mm mm. See?

Mm mm. Wow.

Mm, mm mm. Don't start rhyming.

Mm, that's a breakthrough right there.

Mm, well, people want what they want, dude.

Mm.

Mm. All yours now, boss man.

Mm. And if you want me to,

Mm. Is she being comforted?

Mm. Mm hmm.

Mm. Now, do you want

Mm. Posters.

Mm. Soft ass ****a.

Mm. What a shame.

Mm. Disgracing his whole family.

Mm. Is that right?

Mm. Well, I'll go Winnie Harlow.

Mmm, them things are looking scrumptious.

Money. I like sherbet.

More importantly, why were you

Move, boy. Get out the way.

Mr. Boone, I am so sorry.

Mr. Pa lah chay, of course. "Pa lay chay."

My brain so hard, bruh, like

My brother, do you want this chain?

My mother would never tell anybody this.

My own daughter treating me like this.

Nah, fam. Come on, man.

Nah, fuck that. Fuck fuck all y'all burger ****as.

Nah, I think the wait staff got it.

Nah, I'm in Jersey. Reebok just here

Nah.

Nah.

Nah. [scoffs]

Nah. Fuck that. Fuck all of that.

Nasty motherfucker.

Never love these hos.

Never. You could never!

****a, I know what I ate!

****a, is that my chain?

****a, it was a curse from a broke demon.

****a, it's "financial literacy."

****a, please!

****a, that's a pie chart.

****a, what? Hold on.

****a, what? This turtle got a horn!

****a, why are you whispering?

****a, you better not be pregnant.

****a, you're nasty.

****a. Good job, buddy.

Nina?

Nina. I don't whatever. I don't know.

No no one? No.

No I'm not throwing semen, girl.

No one's ever gonna miss your soccer games!

No pimples. Mmm.

No, Chris, not her pussy walls.

No, Chris. No.

No, dude. I can't.

No, he's a bully! I'm the victim.

No, I didn't. Now you sure you're okay

No, I have to go.

No, I left before that.

No, I mustn't.

No, I won't.

No, I'm Sam's friend.

No, it's not. You're new at this.

No, man. Okay, look.

No, ****as.

No, no, it doesn't matter why he didn't beat his ass.

No, no, no, don't smack me.

No, no, no, no, Jesus. You right. You right.

No, no, no, no, no, no! This can't be happening.

No, no, no, no! That's enough.

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no. Just just go barefoot.

No, no.

No, okay, I'm not debating pee pee.

No, please don't.

No, Sam Sam, don't.

No, that's not true.

No, that's not what I'm saying.

No, whoa, sorry. Sorry to hold you up.

No, you not. [laughs] The boss?

No! Yeah!

No! [applause stops]

No.

No. Let me tell you

No. Let's go.

No. Yeah!

No. Just stop, Jak. Not right now.

No. No. That's your job.

Nobody really likes you here.

Nobody wear cleats. Sorry about that.

Nobody's saying that. Mm, nah, you saying

Nope.

Not the tree bitches. Huh.

Not yet. But she'll find out. They always do.

Not you too, Eunice. Mm hmm.

Nothing, ****a.

Now I need all y'all booty head ****as on point.

Now we're cooking.

Now why would she have washed your car?

Now you got a ****a fucked up.

Now,

Now, here you go with that.

Now, I can assure you that

Now, I'm so sorry,

Now, see,

Now, see, that was a stunning impression of me.

Now, we all know Mary Magdalene was a skeezer,

Nuh nah, nuh nah!

O0h, this sounds like check time.

Of course I did. That's how you get pussy.

Oh And to the walk with me.

Oh, ain't nothing regular about me, ****a.

Oh, come on, papi.

Oh, don no. Oh.

Oh, for real? Give it to me, my man.

Oh, go ahead. It's a pretty cool office.

Oh, God damn Brandon T. Jackson.

Oh, God. Oh, Jesus.

Oh, he said something about searching

Oh, he yelling about us.

Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Oh, hush, Clara.

Oh, I am just trying to get cozy, really.

Oh, I don't give a d d damn, Nate Berkus.

Oh, it's a special off the menu preparation.

Oh, Jesus. Now I see what we doing.

Oh, Langston, you are a hoot.

Oh, Lord. Oh, my God!

Oh, make it rain!

Oh, Miss Noreen.

Oh, my God, for the last time Nina,

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Boone Jackson?

Oh, my God. Are you

Oh, my life savings! [sobs]

Oh, my.

Oh, my. Come on, bro.

Oh, nah, I'm in hell! Oh, fire and brimstone!

Oh, ****a, come on. Don't lie to me.

Oh, no, Adam. This is lavender, see?

Oh, no, ****a. Bro, don't do that.

Oh, no, no, no. Ain't shit changed.

Oh, no.

Oh, oh, oh. Kill it.

Oh, oh. Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, okay, so just because I'm homeless,

Oh, okay.

Oh, or the tons of hilarious jokes you could be saying?

Oh, perfect. He's African.

Oh, please do.

Oh, shit, a fight broke out in the club.

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Jesus Christ!

Oh, shit. He's about to do a flexorcism.

Oh, thank God.

Oh, that's gonna be good.

Oh, the year was 1997.

Oh, there's not much to understand.

Oh, they never had okay.

Oh, this ****a wanna see which bald head ****a

Oh, wait a minute now.

Oh, was that no bueno? No.

Oh, we all came here to turn up with God, okay?

Oh, we gotta do more than that.

Oh, we was just playing, honey.

Oh, what a friend we have in Jesus, right?

Oh, yeah, and if I'm being completely honest,

Oh, yeah, for sure. Thank you.

Oh, yeah, um

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you a deadbeat daddy with titties.

Oh, you need rocks? I can take you to rocks.

Oh, you pregnant?

Oh, you sound ridiculous. What do you mean?

Oh, you're talking about flying birds.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! And you know what else?

Oh! Ooh.

Oh! You got me fucked up.

Oh! You're fucking dead!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Sex trafficking.

Oh.

Oh. The gossipy old ladies.

Oh. You know.

Oh. Oh!

Oh. Oh. Mm.

Oh. Uh uh uh.

Oh. Well, I don't think I can help with that,

Oh. Yeah.

Oh. You think I should tell?

Ohh!

Ohh! That's what

Okay, but but but but

Okay, but I have a five year plan, right?

Okay, but it's this type of logic

Okay, Chris. I mean, come on.

Okay, come on.

Okay, fine, Chris.

Okay, I can't use most of what you just said,

Okay, I have an announcement to make.

Okay, I have several questions,

Okay, I'ma be real with you.

Okay, I've explained this to you all many times.

Okay, it looks like we got Nina's roommate

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, okay. Edgy. Fearless.

Okay, on the count of three,

Okay, Sam, just rub the boy's back.

Okay, so she trying me today.

Okay, so you head doo doo man.

Okay, that's not what you were supposed to say.

Okay, three hours ago, I was spiraling on menthol,

Okay, wait. So you just paid for the baby?

Okay, well, you can't do nothing, ****a.

Okay, well, you could have said that the first time.

Okay, what we not gonna do is talk to the devil.

Okay, what'd I do? Stop!

Okay, y'all. Listen.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Ah, ah, ah.

Okay. Have a seat, sweetie.

Okay. I'll 9/11 your face!

Okay. I'll raise the child.

Okay. Yes.

Okay. Choir set the tone.

Okay. Don't join in on this.

Okay. Let's get this chlorine, girls.

Okay. n**** illiteracy is funny to you now?

Okay. Not now.

Okay. Now you've got a white man

Okay. Sure.

Okay. Um, it's that way.

Okay. Well well, you

Okay. Well, now it's something

Okay. Well, then let 'em stay here.

Okay. Well, wild bitches or not.

One of these.

Only a select few may handle that which you wish to hold.

Ooh ooh, ooh!

Ooh ooh!

Ooh wee, I don't know if y'all heard,

Ooh, I do like Raisinets.

Ooh, I hope DMT stands for "Dick Mouth Tonight"

Ooh, it is not. It is this century, and it is

Ooh, look like somebody hit the lottery.

Ooh, lord.

Ooh, smooth, Sammy.

Ooh, that is good. Write that down.

Ooh, that's my song!

Ooh, yes. You like that?

Ooh!

Ooh! [applause]

Ooh! Oof. [squealing]

Ooh.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Ooh. Aye, Aye. [chuckles]

Or an emu. Or an ostrich.

Or leave a pile of shit on her front porch.

Or Pokémon Go. Remember that?

Pals backwards.

Pedestrian? Ma'am, you sleep outside.

People been doing me dirty my whole life.

People here are drawing, man.

Please, blow on the handle.

Please, just let me see my son, man!

Please, move. Yeah, he's shaking right now.

Please, reconsider.

Plus, we gotta keep our faith in God,

Prepare to have your eyes opened, bitches.

Pretty much.

Pshh. You know what, y'all?

Psst, I got this cum.

Put that in your pocket, go to the movies.

R.L. Stine. R.L. Stine.

Re tweet sometimes?

Really? Yes, man.

Reebok? Aw, fuck.

Relax. Sam, you got me fucked up.

Reservation?

Respectfully, I disagree

Right in front of me.

Right, okay. I hear you.

Right? Ooh!

Right? Yeah.

Right? You can't be molested

Right. But the person you are

Right. Yep.

Right. You got to look at it

Right. Like, if I buy a girl a turtle,

Right... yeah, I used to hate church.

S L pop!

Sam, I forgave you years ago.

Sam, I know you here.

Sam, what is the real problem between you two?

Sam! What's up, dog?

Sam?

Sam.

Sam. Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam. Can I come?

Sam's scared to handle her own business,

Samm er Jammers looking better than they did last year.

Samm er Jammers.

Scream again, ****a.

See you next year! See y'all.

See you out there.

See, now, a normal man would be confused

See, that's why I fucks with you.

See, this is the shit Boone warned me about.

See, this is what I'm talking about.

See, you poke a hole,

See? Don't you feel better?

She did, though. Look at my little hands.

She really led me on for real.

She was nice.

She work pussy. It's work pussy.

Shh, bro. This isn't a game.

Shhh. Relax, dude.

Shit!

Shit. Well, that era ended quickly.

Shling! Craa!

Shut the fuck up, Rocko, and put your hat back on.

Shut up, bitch.

Shut up, Jak.

Shut up, ****a. I know my past.

Shut up. And fine. Yeah!

Shut up. I don't need Boone.

Sick!

Sickness?

Sid from the internet. [speaking gibberish]

Since I can always live with my daughter,

Since when did professionalism

Sister, I just bless you.

Sit down, brother. Sit down.

Sit down! Bite. Bite hat.

Sit down! This is the problem

Sitting on some Reebok boxes.

Slut.

Slut.

So glad you came around.

So it looks like you really did change things around here.

So many sets of footprints, Lord.

So our relationship is not serious?

So somebody brushed up against you

So tell me about this girlfriend you say you have.

So what are you doing?

So what we need to do is find a way

So what's up? Y'all hate me?

So you guys yelled the baby to death?

So you just out here being nasty for real.

So you let a grown man grab your dick,

So you want two slave masters?

So, I was a child, right? But I was, like,

So...so Chip Drill? Mm hmm.

Some mo' connections.

Some nights, I lay awake

Sorry, I don't have any cash.

Stand up.

Stop it! Stop! Don't! Stop.

Stop, I can't with you.

Stop.

Stupid raccoon bitch. I'll kill you.

Success is about balance.

Sugar, it's just jokes.

Sure. Those boots just feel

Take all the time you need.

Tastes like White Russian.

Tch. Yeah.

Tell her that my weight is proportional

Tell him. Keychains.

Thank you, baby. And when we get home,

Thank you, Sam. I'm sorry.

Thank you, sir. I just want you to know

Thank you, sister. What the fuck?

Thank you.

Thank you. Or people leaving

Thanks dog. I do feel better, guys.

Thanks, cuz. No problem.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks. Come on.

That doesn't seem right.

That hurt. Yeah, yo, have fun, cuz.

That is a thing some people do.

That little lady beating the bald fade off that big lady.

That movement was actually started

That part. Whoa, whoa, whoa again.

That sounds fun. That's gang, for real.

That sounds so nice. Yes.

That was the first time

That wasn't no domestic violence.

That wig was a mess.

That's a dessert wine, silly.

That's all he asked for! I don't want this.

That's cheating!

That's chill. That's chill.

That's exactly right, Dr. Sam.

That's exactly right.

That's fair. It still feels like

That's it? Yes.

That's just a bullshit

That's looking good, y'all. Ooh.

That's not right. Right.

That's right, Mr. Locker Room himself.

That's the homie. If it was me,

That's the one. I was gonna take that!

That's why your ass is still what, huh?

The aesthetic I was going for.

The bar, trying to cheer Jak up.

The biggest problem

The boss pulled him aside

The easiest way to get her out the house

The key advantage to tax deferred growth

The Lord told me to tell this

The only way the sperm leaves

The point is I got touched!

The point is this is a chance for you

The point is you can't keep running

Then don't take the gig.

Then I can get my vengeance on Chauncey,

There are Franks and there are Lamonts.

There it is.

There it is. My man.

There you are!

There's a lot of seats. * And I don't see no hoes *

There's an African man waiting for me,

They gonna regret it.

They need a place to stay.

They said that? Not a single person.

They spend more time coming up with words for this shit

They wouldn't be shit without us.

They'll be ready when they're ready, babe.

They're not drawing. They're taking notes.

This honestly explains so much.

This is I don't care. I'm not losing my job.

This is a very delicate situation, okay?

This is at least true about the universe, though?

This is Chris Henson,

This is so weird.

This is the perfect opportunity

This is wild. God.

This isn't a real bank.

This man gotta work. Come on, man!

This man is incredible. Look at him.

This shit right here is just flat out embarrassing.

This sick shit is called resistance,

This whole Friday thing, man. He's, like, in my head.

This woman has a heart of gold.

Those bitches will buy anything.

Three? Yeah, that's more than usual!

Tiki? That bitch crazier than a fuck,

Today is gonna be a long one, child.

Today, people rejected all my babies

Tokandra Chanel Dang, that's enough.

Told you. Brandon T. Jackson.

Too much. Too much. Yeah.

Touching that would be ill advised.

True.

Tuna got a little kick to it.

Uh huh. Good to see you this morning.

Uh oh, sounds like we've got ourselves a r r r rebellion.

Uh oh! There it is.

Uh oh. Uh oh. Who's here?

Uh uh uh. What you call me? A dish ****a. Dish ****a.

Uh uh, they gone change 'em.

Uh uh, uh uh, nasty ****as can't come with us.

Uh uh.

Uh uh. Don't you use my ****a's name in vain,

Uh, because it's corny as hell.

Uh, I prayed on it first, but yes.

Uh, I'm infected.

Uh, it's crazy the things you do for a sense of belonging.

Uh, Jak.

Uh, nobody gets popped faster

Uh, what can I say about Ms. Noreen?

Uh, yeah. I did the same thing.

Uh! Uh! Maniflex!

Uh.

Uh...

Um

Um, I know I'm the wrong person to ask this,

Um, okay.

Unchain yourself from my desk right now!

Wait, wait, that was also my birthday that night.

Wait, wait, wait. Is that a triple negative?

Watch yo hatin' ass. You hatin', man.

We at capacity for ****as, but no hoes.

We don't give a freak what you was.

We don't pick on you 'cause you're light skinned.

We don't want your nuggets.

We got a Black CEO now. [chuckles]

We got a good rhythm going on around here.

We got you, big dog.

We got you. Yeah. Gotcha, guy.

We heard there's been some kind of a walkout or dispute.

We talking poop? Yeah.

We want change. We want dollars.

We were having a nice time

We won't ask you again.

We're all gonna end up on the street

We're all humans, all of us.

We're not even talking about progress.

We've created a society where so much of who we are

Wearing shoes my doctor prescribed.

Welcome to the '96 Olympics.

Welcome to the Booniverse, baby boy.

Well, a older lady touched me

Well, Chris, my boy, tell the people

Well, embarrassing as it may be,

Well, for starters, I cheated on her.

Well, he's not here.

Well, I bought a big piece of land

Well, I haven't enjoyed this at all!

Well, I heard someone saw him

Well, I suppose at some point you must...

Well, I used Nina's credit card to pay for it,

Well, I'm going in there anyway

Well, I'm happy.

Well, it wasn't a domestic violence situation, bro.

Well, let's go, cause I can get louder than that!

Well, ****a, you the one that got touched?

Well, now that school's out,

Well, tell her stop making all them damn Cinnabons, then.

Well, tell them ****as,

Well, that sounds like a you problem, huh?

Well, that's new information to me!

Well, that's not true.

Well, the fridge is empty, my ****a.

Well, then I win this round of mancala!

Well, then show me the stairs

Well, this the ****a that got it unstuck.

Well, wait a minute. Objection!

Well, well, well.

Well, when we get home,

Well, you got a better job now, right?

Well, you not allowed to fuck bitches up.

Westside when we ride.

What Look at that.

What are you doing? That's good furniture!

What are you gonna do about this baby, bro?

What are you talking about? These are the shoes

What consequences?

What did Black men do then?

What do you want me to do with this?

What do you want?

What girls? What you talking about?

What I'm saying is, the people are getting fucked

What is a Solo?

What is wrong with you?

What is wrong with you? You're too fine

What on Earth is going on in here?

What sick shit is this?

What the fuck are you doing?

What the fuck did I just smoke, Cheryl?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

What the fuck? Ooh ooh!

What the hell is wrong with you all?

What the hell you got to do?

What up, dog? Yes, you have, my ****a.

What you need is to use this.

What you talking about, bro?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? And she wouldn't want me

What? I shouldn't have protested.

What? It was either

What? Maniflex!

What? Maniflex!

What? You wanna wrestle?

What? Your Social Security number.

What? Can't you see I was trying to build something nice

What? We're getting floor jobs?

What? What? No!

What's going on? This poo poo.

What's illegal is you having 300 gallons of pure Chris cream

What's that?

What's up, bitch?

What's up, fool? What's up, fool?

Whatever this is, it's all over the radio.

Whatever, dude.

Where are they? [laughs]

Where is he?

Where the fly boys at? I need to find them.

Where's the meat?

Whew.

Whew. You ****as have fun

Who the fuck is you talking to?

Who the fuck you calling a bitch?

Who the fuck you talkin' to?

Who tied you up?

Whoa, Sam, Sam, Sam.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You were there?

Whoa! Oh, my ****a!

Whoa.

Whoa. Crazy.

Whoa. Yep.

Whoo ooh ooh!

Whoo, can't you help you, player.

Whoo, I want my name on a damn marquee.

Whoo! Whoo!

Why are y'all eyes so milky?

Why are you trying to sabotage this?

Why do you have to be such a bitch?

Why does everybody keep saying that?

Why don't you go pass out some pamphlets, you Philistine?

Why have you never escorted the women to their cars?

Why is that analogy not as strong?

Why is this suddenly a "we" thing?

Why make a car for a single man?

Why not? No.

Why would you slap me?

Why you canoodling with us, anyway?

Why, what happened?

Why?

Why'd you take the bumper stickers, Jesus?

Will you keep your voice down?

With bowed heads...

Wow, we don't have nights out like this.

Wow!

Wow! All right.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow. Thanks, Klay Thompson.

Wrong. You don't wanna do that.

Y'all always keep telling me what y'all want,

Y'all gonna walk out on me? Me?

Y'all killed my motherfucking baby!

Y'all need family like this.

Y'all sleeping on "Jurassic Park."

Yeah, "Ghost Protocol" is the loudest,

Yeah, a'ight.

Yeah, and my mama is one of those women.

Yeah, bro, you were a victim for sure.

Yeah, but did you ever do

Yeah, but even as we're saying it,

Yeah, but first of all, fucked up?

Yeah, but I fixed it.

Yeah, but I just wish

Yeah, but okay, what if I have kids someday,

Yeah, but that's because Slim Thug is 6'6",

Yeah, but you don't unpack anything.

Yeah, Chris, it's not gonna go

Yeah, dude. They beefing for real.

Yeah, get that shit.

Yeah, go fight Come on here

Yeah, he also told me to stop letting ashy sinners

Yeah, I remember Jasper.

Yeah, I think that could work.

Yeah, I'm not that into hoopty doops

Yeah, it is.

Yeah, it was, but ever since then,

Yeah, just get out. Okay.

Yeah, Langston. Love is love.

Yeah, like, right now. Just now.

Yeah, man. All these people here.

Yeah, man. It sounds like

Yeah, no, I I understood the joke,

Yeah, of course. Yeah?

Yeah, right? She is dope.

Yeah, sometimes I do,

Yeah, that must have been so cathartic for you.

Yeah, that's true. That's true.

Yeah, um...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but Nina though?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah!

Yeah! Go, Cheryl! Yeah!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Exactly.

Yeah. For the first time.

Yeah. My bad, Chris.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, goddamn.

Yeah. Right.

Yeah. She loud.

Yeah. Thanks, Sam.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But you didn't.

Yeah. Chip Drill will get you banned.

Yeah. Even that ****a.

Yeah. Go ahead.

Yeah. Happy to help. Now, you help me.

Yeah. Hey, this my boy. He good, bro.

Yeah. I do Slap him, Boone!

Yeah. I'm good. No, no, put it out.

Yeah. Like like, if Slim Thug came in right now

Yeah. Like the dougie. Sure.

Yeah. Nina's mom is wild.

Yeah. Shut the fuck up, Langston.

Yeah. That is fucked up.

Yeah. We're all just one torn ACL away

Yeah. Whoo!

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We always got Pac, huh?

Yeah. You better hurry up.

Yellow citizen, take me to my queen.

Yep! And is still allowed to go

Yep. We can watch ourselves fuck

Yes I am, Langstopher.

Yes, honey, he most certainly can.

Yes!

Yes! Uh huh. Uh huh.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Here we go.

Yes. I all: Boo!

Yes. I am still waiting to hear the problem.

Yes. Yes, exactly. Trevor Noah.

Yo, I told you not to fuck with Friday.

Yo, I'ma need you to come over to my spot

Yo, keep it down.

Yo, man. Chill.

Yo, that shit is confused... My head, my head, my head.

Yo, that's fine. Dog.

Yo, that's fucked up, man. For real!

Yo, you're like a father to me, man.

Yo!

Yo.

Yo. Hmm?

Yo. Whoa.

You accept Bitcoin? Hm?

You are good, though.

You are sharing cinnamon pretzels with

You can sit down.

You chose to be in a partnership.

You doing the census?

You don't have any friends.

You don't wanna help her?

You found Cheryl.

You give me a big ass blunt all you want,

You good? I'm all right.

You good? Let's do it.

You got homeless ass Jak laying on my clean couch

You got it. Mm, get it.

You gotta move east or hit a shelter.

You gotta put chloroform on the napkin.

You had a good run. It was good while it lasted.

You hate me. You hate me.

You in the bathroom talking about,

You know Brandon T. Jackson!

You know how much money you gotta have

You know I was killing that shit.

You know what happened to motherfuckers

You know what, Chris? You're right.

You know what, sir? I She the best.

You know what, thank you.

You know what? Believe it or not,

You know what? I'm having a good day.

You know what? They grown.

You know, every time they walk up to your car,

You know, I took my son to the PlayPlace and he said,

You know, in Spanish,

You know, she had to go to special therapy

You know, some people see us out there trying to get fed

You letting this motherfucker in?

You look good. You smell good too.

You need some more money. all: Mm hmm.

You need to relax.

You need to relax.

You need to stop, okay? You're doing too much.

You played games with my heart.

You promise?

You pus colored piece of shit.

You really moped around this party all day to say that?

You remember when your cousin Shay would get upset

You right.

You said at least once a week you would try

You said he was touched at work?

You see that dude over there?

You shit I'll show you [indistinct]

You should come with me,

You should have socked the ****a.

You should have taken your job more seriously, buddy.

You smoked that scratch ticket weed

You sure can.

You take it, baby.

You talking about that sweaty pastor?

You think 'cause you a girl burger,

You think because I'm light skinned

You think the world is suddenly

You walk off alone.

You wanna see how the sauce is made?

You want to put on some other ones?

You wanted a baby. So I copped you a baby.

You'll be good.

You're bad at telling stories.

You're broke, Chris. Yes, that's true.

You're goddamn right, Chris.

You're going to jail, Chauncey.

You're just a fucking penguin.

You're lazy.

You're like a son to me, ****a.

You're our leader, for sure.

You're right, man.

You're right.

You're right. You're right. We can do this.

You're too old for this game.

You're welcome, man.

You've been doing great work, sweetie!

Your friend? You hate Ronda.

Your obsession with '90s lingo.

Your struggle with commitment.

'cause he ain't gonna replace me.

'Cause he dead. Bro, calm down.

'cause I don't really listen to anybody, so

'cause I thought it was pretty normal.

'cause it be slipping off and shit.

'cause it's not Spam?

'cause she has boundary issues.

'cause sometimes I get to cran it in,

'cause they don't have those.

'cause you ain't got no girlfriend.

'cause you eat candy at 9:00 a.m.

"Boone, take my chain as sacrifice."

"Chris, how'd you become the man you are today?"

"Daddy, can I be Ronald McDonald one day?"

"Did you hear Friday got his ass beat on a Friday?

"Don't worry, I check my privilege at the door."

"Hell, nah. Hell to the fuck nah."

"I ain't got potential.

"I don't know, son.

"I know how to spell computer."

"Injustice." Huh, huh?

"Keystone Pipeline." "Key Lime Pie Time."

"Mission: Impossible" movies to knock boots to.

"No, no, no!

"Oh, he had a terrible weekend

"Oh, her highness wants some mustard with her honey."

"Oh, my daddy did this, my daddy did that."

"Pastor must be scared. [crowd murmurs agreement]

"Pastor suit too big. [crowd murmurs]

"Progress, no matter how incremental, is important.

"rainbows and unicorns" version of lesbianism.

"Reparations." "Oppression."

["Make me say Ugh" plays]

["Peggy Lee's "Till There Was You"]

[air horn blasts]

[all agreeing]

[all cheering]

[all cheering]

[all cheering] Okay?

[all cheering] all: Maniflex!

[all clapping rhythmically]

[all exclaim]

[all gasping]

[all groaning] Dude!

[all speaking in tongues]

[all talking at once]

[all talking at once]

[applause]

[applause]

[applause]

[applause]

[applause]

[applause]

[applause]

[applause] I said this is mine.

[audience awws] Aww!

[babbling]

[baby cooing]

[baby cries]

[background chatter]

[barking]

[both cackle]

[both laugh]

[bright tone]

[burps]

[cackles] I just got a promotion.

[canned laughter]

[Carlton Williams' "Prison Song"]

[chatter]

[chatter]

[cheerful music]

[cheering]

[cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause] Praise the Lord.

[cheers and applause] [mouthing words]

[cheers and applause] I said this is mine, okay!

[cheers softly] Yes.

[cheesy somber music]

[cheesy somber music]

[child babbles]

[Chris whines]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles] * On the hill *

[chuckles] Fair.

[chuckles] I'll be back.

[chuckles] To be or not to be?

[clapping, cheering]

[clears throat]

[clicks tongue] I feel like Future.

[clicks tongue] I'm good.

[coins clinking]

[coughs] ****a coughing.

[creepy laughter]

[crowd chattering] Get real, Pastor.

[crowd cheers]

[crowd cheers]

[crowd cheers]

[crowd cheers]

[crowd cheers]

[crowd cheers]

[crowd clamoring] Ooh!

[crowd exclaims]

[crowd exclaims] Ooh, damn.

[crowd gasps]

[crowd gasps] [screams]

[crowd gasps] Yeah, and fuck this church!

[crowd laughs]

[crowd murmurs in agreement]

[crowd murmurs] He talking about you.

[crowd muttering]

[crowd muttering] No.

[crowd oohs]

[crowd shouting]

[crowd shouting]

[crowd shouts] Oh, Jesus! Oh, God.

[discordant music]

[discordant piano music]

[discordant piano music]

[door opens]

[door slams]

[dramatic music]

[dramatic sting] Don't even touch that.

[dramatic sting] No, not right there. Mm mm.

[echoing voice] Hurt people hurt people.

[echoing] Drinking your pee.

[eerie laughter]

[energetic music]

[funky bass chords]

[funky music]

[gasps] Ooh, oh, oh, oh.

[girls screaming]

[glass shatters] Oh. Mm mm.

[gospel music continues]

[gospel music playing]

[gospel music]

[gospel music]

[gospel singing]

[grunting] Please stop.

[grunts, coughs]

[grunts]

[gulping]

[gunshot] Ahh!

[hip hop music playing]

[hip hop music playing]

[hip hop music]

[hip hop playing over radio]

[imitating motorcycle]

[in deep voice] I can hear them.

[in deep, gravelly voice] Beneath me lies an army

[in slow mo] Drinking your pee.

[inaudible]

[inaudible]

[indistinct muttering]

[indistinct yelling, whooping]

[inhales deeply]

[Jak giggles] Get your damn ass

[knocking on window]

[laughing in slow motion]

[laughing] Hey.

[laughs maniacally]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs] Fuck, man. Come on, man!

[laughs] That's right.

[laughs] What the fuck?

[laughs] "Deuteromety."

[laughs] I mean, come on.

[laughs] I'm just playing, Fran. You look cute.

[laughs] Long and fast.

[laughs] Look at your fucking face, man.

[laughs] That was good.

[laughter and muttering

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter] And she was like,

[laughter] It is stupid.

[laughter] No. No. Don't say that.

[laughter] Shh. Shh. Shh.

[laughter] You must get a lot of time

[laughter] No, no.

[laughter] You know?

[lightly edgy music]

[line trilling]

[Master P's "Make 'Em Say Ugh]

[mellow hip hop music]

[metal clangs]

[metal clangs] [grunts]

[metal clangs] [all grunting]

[Mint Condition's "Pretty Brown Eyes"]

[music escalates]

[music stops]

[muttering]

[Nina wails] [audience booing]

[ominous music]

[overlapping voices, eerie music]

[people screaming]

[person clears throat]

[person coughs]

[piano music]

[rattles chains] You hear that?

[Rich Homie Quan's "Type of Way" playing]

[Rich Homie Quan's "Type of Way" playing]

[riffing] * Singing *

[rolls Rs] Roberto. [chuckles]

[romantic music]

[scattered applause]

[scattered cheers]

[scoffs]

[scoffs] Talking to three ****as ain't never got

[screaming]

[screaming]

[shouting]

[sighs] The times.

[siren wails] Okay, Chris,

[slow motion yelling]

[sobbing]

[sobs] Oh. Ooh.

[speaking gibberish] Big coin. Big check. Big lake.

[suspenseful music]

[sweeping music]

[swords scraping]

[thunder booms]

[thunder rumbles]

[upbeat music]

[water splashes] I'll tell you, Pool Boy,

[whispering]

[whispering] And there will be a few animals involved.

[yells] Sam!

* *

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* *

* *

* *

* Adult hos *

* Adult hos adult hos *

* Ba ooh *

* Bars of steel *

* But I never heard them ringing *

* Everybody *

* Food courts *

* Got his ass whooped by baby twins *

* Hos, hos *

* I don't know how old, we just know they adult hos *

* I'ma be fucking bitches in the food court *

* I'ma be in the mall, inspiring ****as *

* Inspiring bitches to be better bitches *

* La la la la la *

* Like he did me *

* Locked in *

* Making decorations from Spam *

* Oh oh oh oh *

* Oh yeah eah eah *

* Oh, no, you Lidn't *

* Oh, yes, I Lids *

* Prison cells *

* Remember, this is baby twins and adult Jak *

* Remember, this is baby twins and adult Jak *

* Remember, this is baby twins and adult Jak *

* Right on a stick *

* So he threw a Kangol hat *

* That's why I make music *

* Think you done lost your senses *

* Threw caution to the wind *

* Till there was you *

* Uh oh, somebody's gotta go outside *

* With a twist of the wrist, he'll swing his stick *

* Yeah eah eah *

* You know I see you *