💬 Birdgirl (2021)

A big swinging dick! Uh, wait. What?

A consumer defined vintage organization experience.

A deposit of a mysterious mineral.

A dog from down there.

A Eurocup thigh hole, fortified junk pouch.

A ferrari!

A good hang.

A group of us are grabbing drinks.

A house. Aha.

A little about myself I'm not much of a joiner,

A little Baltimo's still in there, huh, Jude?

A lot of people quit.

A lot of time by yourself around here.

A lot.

A million times, yes.

A networking event for businesswomen, run by men.

A new day is here

A new employee is actually cheaper than overtime.

A product's about to drop.

A walk?

Aaaaah!

Aaah!

Aaah! Get her off me!

Aah, aah! Oh, my god!

Aah!

Aah! [ gasps ]

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Aah! Don't do that!

Aah! I know this smell.

Aah! It's gonna blow!

Aah! Look at yourself.

About a giant earthquake that's going to...

About her secret identity,

About people learning my not secret identity.

Across the plains of what you call north america.

Actually, you're not.

After he eats, can you play with him?

Ah, the park.

Ah! Ugh! Ah! Ahhhhhh!

Ah! Ugh! Ugh! Ah!

Ah. Now it's 86.

Ah. You're a weirdo.

Ahem. Did I do something wrong?

Ahh!

Ahh! [ Vomiting ]

Ahh! Ow! Ahh.

Ahh! Ugh!

Ahhhh!

Ahhhhh ohhhh!

Alive and prospering

All bears share.

All the "S" words.

All the online hate comments about judy into categories.

All this beautiful pent up rage makes Sebben & Sebben

All those in favor

All while keeping your information private

All: [ murmuring ]

All: Hi, judy.

All: She has returned. She has returned.

Allow me to introduce you

Already on it.

Alright, it's a sale on Eostre cards.

Alright, sit down, brian.

Alright.

Alright. Stop being a weirdo.

Alright. Swing to the right. Swing to the left.

Also, he looks like he has a mini fridge

Although I can't tell you why.

Although they do say, if you love what you do,

Always had a job with constant promotions

Am I in trouble here?

Am I real?

Am I sensing some anger?

Am I the super?

Am I?

An entire town made of Baltimo?

An office phone needs heft.

And

And And you invented this game

And a benefits package.

And a few of them, their names.

And all of your medical records,

And as a woman who supports other women,

And because you'll die alone,

And bring her back to your parents' house to the attic.

And built it into a multinational conglomerate

And but a distant memory, if you remember me at all.

And clean up this mess...

And commemorate said support by signing this important

And everyone forgets about layoffs...

And everyone shows up unconscious.

And fear is a useful survival response.

And find something to remove blue dye...

And Friday, you have

And gives the most optimal feedback it can,

And he'd have to lose the Hummer.

And how can you two not even scream?

And I don't see a place for my fax machine.

And I don't want to lose this job.

And I know. [ carrot crunches ]

And I quite like it.

And I want to be a fierce advocate of Meredith

And I'm a person who's always deeply felt things,

And I'm asking for forgiveness, okay?

And in exchange, I promise not to hurt you.

And it should feel like work when you use it.

And it was a lot of that thing.

And it's been one big "yes" ever since.

And later, we will be revisiting you stealing 20% of my stock.

And my dad didn't sell.

And not just in my penis.

And not just metaphorical ones.

And not just the one on your face.

And now he knows everything.

And now I'm fired! [ grunts ]

And now it all just makes me...

And now she's disappearing.

And now so can everyone else.

And now we're finally doing something.

And now you shall die!

And now, both are worthless.

And on behalf of everyone at Sebben & Sebben,

And one for our ce oh.

And our commerce site is almost live.

And people are loving it!

And planning a brunch on their own behalf.

And save the world as birdgirl,

And say this isn't all your fault.

And shipped back to the farm to grow more food. [ sniffs, groans ]

And since we're not, maybe I'll let you not cool down

And someone else okay, perfect.

And something about mindtaking?

And sometimes save...

And spent months wandering in the wilderness

And stare at people through fans...like you.

And stored locally.

And straight to the top of the company!

And sues judy ken sebben for all of sebben & sebben.

And takes it deadly serious.

And tell him you want to change it.

And tell me something I can't even admit to myself,

And that is not how that usually happens.

And that's why my folks make me come here to practice.

And the custodian of beloved soda pop topple popple...

And the fritters are amazing!

And the majority of people would have a big problem with that.

And then after a while,

And then it hit me!

And then, when nobody's looking,

And there haven't been a lot of allies.

And they can overrule you on all your decisions.

And they think there's a possibility

And they'll click "leadership"...

And told them to release it if they didn't hear from me.

And wanting to tell people at work.

And we are the birdteam!

And we can be a part of that dream.

And we deliver it right to your busy life.

And we have a successor.

And we start with Share Bear.

And we work for you, even though our name's not on the company?

And we'll get judy ready to go onstage.

And what do Share Bears do?

And when I found those nine pounds,

And when it comes to my employees,

And when she does, we'll just pull her up.

And when she is awake, too.

And when she is here,

And when you throw it across the room at someone

And when you're finished...

And you came along and ruined everything by being born!

And you know I support you no matter what.

And you only worked half a week, so giddyup.

And you signed the order to sell it

And you tell me what's on your mind.

And you used to put every goddamn thing in your mouth.

And you won't have to, as long as you stick

And you, both of you... There...Tonight...

And you're ...dy, so you're always ...dy ing.

And you're worried because that's your job?

And you're...So... Very...Adequate.

And your hands, they're magnificent.

And your social security number.

And, Birdteam, go!

And, uh, you could afford to miss a couple of meals.

And... Synchronize watches.

Animal waste?

Another day guarding the secret comes to a successful end.

Another drop coming.

Another one? It's been happening all morning.

Another way of putting that is...?

Anybody gives you flak, you show them this.

Anyway, the Share Bear!

Anyway, there's your 12 bucks, right there.

Anyway, these two have mind melded

Are both an honor and a responsibility.

Are those the only choices? I look gross.

Are we dating?

Are we okay?

Are you insane? It's disappearing.

Are you okay? I'm terrific!

Around all 462 of them.

As Birdgirl says...

As curated experiences, I thought they were high.

As did your father.

As fourth wave feminists, how about we support each other,

As my last official act as ceo,

As topple brand manager,

At 24 bucks a pop?

At exactly 19:56 with judy's outfit.

At improving the lives of millions of people.

At just over a quarter mile, he's kind of hot.

At sebben & sebben, but it hasn't.

At the harley davidson hogs for a female cause.

At the same time. Can you let her know?

At the spa in the boonies...

At, uh, filling the gap in your soul, or whatever.

Aw, gillian.

Aw, God damn it.

Aw, Thursday is fritters day.

Aww.

Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye.

Bad connection.

Bear goes on the belt.

Because crazy things usually work.

Because he was crazy and impulsive.

Because I'm in your mind.

Because I'm you.

Because it's locked.

Because she can't and will communicate all that.

Because she stores them in her pants.

Because the one thing I don't have is...

Because then they'll know that judy is also

Because there is no sex tape.

Because there'll be spoilers all over the joint

Because you have no friends and you're always at work.

Because you're ceo now. I'm not, okay?

Before giving it to jessica from accounting?

Before I go, I need to tell you something

Before I go, I'd like to propose direct deposit.

Behind the convenience store,

Behold, the first Share Bear.

Bend elbow, grab, shake around, thumb up hoo hah.

Benjy here, reporting for duty.

Benjy it is. I'll tell him.

Benjy works at sebben & sebben.

Benjy!

Benjy? What are you doing here?

Besides trying to find his car?

Besides, you're too late, as "ushe."

Best. Best.

Best. Best. Hmm.

Best. Best... B E S T, best.

Better not screw it up.

Better read him in.

Between humans and foreskins,

Big and beefy.

Big news I am the new

Big whoop.

Bingo.

Bird Team business.

Bird Team, go!

Birdcat, guard the flank, and make sure none of them

Birdgirl needs our help!

Birdgirl told us to eat it.

Birdgirl was just a shill for Baltimo.

Birdgirl, you'll steal away behind the chocolate abyss.

Birdgirl: [ Groaning ]

Birdgirl: ♪ oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god ♪

Birdgirl: Birdcat, coming in for landing.

Birdgirl: Charlie!

Birdgirl: Coming in for landing.

Birdgirl: It started as a crazy marketing stunt

Birdgirl: No texts, no wrecks.

Birdgirl: She's mine, and she's a boy.

Birdgirl: Whoa!

Birdgirl: Why didn't we think of this earlier?

Birdgirl: Yeah, I may be thinking about a career change.

Birdgirl!

Birdgirl! [ clatter ]

Birdgirl! [ meows ]

Birdgirl! Hey!

Birdgirl! Yeah. [ chuckles ]

Birdgirl? [ scoffs ] that phil.

Birdteam, go!

Blee ooh oop!

Blee ooh oop! New ceo.

Blee oop, blee oop.

Bloo eh. Blee ooh oop.

Board members: [ gasping, groaning ]

Boo oop. [ sighs ]

Boss, I know you were distracted

Both: Get your hand around that!

Both: Pop me another popple, farmer phil.

Boy oop!

Boy oop.

Bri, bri, do not have a calyp shit fit.

Brian o'brien human waste.

Brian, you're lurking.

Brian: It's the super?

BRIAN: It's the super.

Brian!

Brian? 1, 2, 1, 2.

But "team" might be overstating it.

But as C.E.O., I have a shot

But even that hasn't helped.

But first, I have to deliver a letter.

But guess what? She's not gonna fail.

But he chews his cuticles, so we'd

But he chose birdgirl as ceo,

But he doesn't, because he's a cat.

But here, I belong.

But I admire a woman who can.

But I do have one of those faces

But I don't want everybody knowing about it.

But I don't want to get murdered over a soda can.

But I guess what I'm really afraid of is money defining me.

But I have some other stuff I have to get to.

But I never make mistakes.

But I thought I'd switch things up.

But I told my bear some dark

But I was raised to never say anything honest to a woman.

But I'll get you, cat.

But if you have to sign everything I sign,

But in the event of his death,

But it didn't just add heft.

But it means overcoming years of my natural inclination

But maybe you forgot since you grew up.

But most people call them apartments now.

But mostly I think it's scared to lose

But my last thing ran a little long.

But my name's on this company.

But now he's gone.

But now I see I just wanted my dad to see me.

But now she's a God.

But only the manliest drinkers can handle topple.

But phil chose birdgirl. Hey oh!

But phil was most famous

But she can't run the company alone.

But something still feels off.

But still delicious cat food?

But that classic can is 50% realer.

But the half life was well beyond

But the whistling was coming from her nose.

But then I'm kind of in the mood for rice balls.

But then my host body, david, fell ill and passed away.

But then there are so many options!

But there are already a ton of pictures on the internet

But they won't see a man.

But they'll be okay.

But this toilet thing,

But through all this, I somehow feel changed.

But true things I can, and the first one to cry loses...

But what am I supposed to do about it?

But whatever he did made you,

But when, through a spyglass, we spotted strange ships

But with little miss break shit up

But you didn't say she sucks!

But you're a Share Bear.

But you've just got closer.

But your dad saw something. Know what he told me, judy?

But, big sigh, uh, Judy needs me us, the Bird Team,

But, fine, we'll switch him to...Dry food.

But, listen, if it's all the same with you,

But, uh, the guy at the kiosk downstairs

But, uh, we got to get the costumes.

Bwee oop!

Bwee oop? No. No cheating.

Bwee yoop, mother

Bwee yoop.

By consenting to be mindtaken, you'll have no memory of this

Call the factory your father built

Call the factory.

Calypsis, let's roll.

Can finally raise a cold one and join the topple team.

Can I come?

Can we do this without things getting weird?

Can we keep this moving?

Can you back up a tad?

Can you feel it?

Can you get me Etan Delvay?

Can you get me meredith?

Can you hear me?!

Can you just calm down and, you know, be a ceo?

Can you just go ahead and mindtake me?

Can you leave now?

Can you put this in my office?

Can't we be post not fighting?

Can't you just mindtake her and

Carl, we're gonna lose the house.

Carl! I can't take this anymore.

Carry the 2, and blammo we hit zero. Thank god.

Cassie, how many times do I have to tell you

Cassie: We've always been here, dad.

Cassie! [ china shatters ]

Charlie, what is all this?

Charlie, you trap them in the front entrance.

Charlie: Can you hear me?

Charlie: It's not possible. Nobody has a picture of that.

Charlie: Remember us?

Charlie: You know, fear's a useful survival response, Judy.

Charlie!

Charlie...

Château, campfire smoke?

Chocolate abyss?

Choosing a successor to run his company.

Coffee.

Colin was Baltimo?

Come on, come on!

Come on, kid.

Come on, little ones.

Come on, Mer. We're gonna have e mail!

Come to Daddy Bear.

Company wide memos when we have the Internet.

Comparing me and birdgirl.

Confessing to the authorities is a good first step.

Contact you at 2:00, topple nation.

Continue the topple launch.

Cruise the girl you went to school with,

Cut the [bleep] judy. What aren't you telling us?

Cutting. Right.

Dad, you're drunk. That door was shut. Dad, you're drunk.

Damn it.

Damn, I love a good bet.

Dave? Dave, is that you?

Deal? Deal.

Decimate the Pacific Northwest, or whatever.

Definitely seems like a bad time.

Definitely.

Did he see it, you guys? Did he see it?

Did I do something wrong?

Did you reinforce the pits and tits?

Did you know that when you fart,

Did you see what I did?!

Disaffected, irrelevant.

Dismiss.

Do I know what?

Do it.

Do some layoffs. No, we have to find some way

Do you have a plan?

Do you know how hard it is to avoid the Internet?

Do you want to go past the scary, past the ugly,

Does anyone have a fucking clue what's happening?

Does he wax?

Does she scare you just a tiny bit?

Doesn't mean you have to. Blee ooh oop.

Dog with bucket hat: [ munching ]

Dog with bucket hat: Brian, brian! [ pounding on door ]

Don't be alarmed, paul.

Don't be mean.

Don't bother.

Don't ever joke about that.

Don't kill me, graham!

Don't let another author tell your story, Jessica.

Don't make me go feral.

Don't say that.

Don't you think it's a little weird Etan completely spoke

Dr. Sheila: [ groaning ]

Dr. Sheila: Paul, when I saw you on the appointment list,

Dressed like the super?

Drinks? Do not make that.

Droning on about the not layoffs.

During the calypsis meeting, but there was a hiccup.

Eastfield? No one would buy eastfield.

Eh, I don't scare easily.

Eh, nowhere close to hell.

Eileen, I'll get another job.

Eileen, I'm a grown man, okay?!

Energy.

Energy. [ snorting ]

English breakfast, chamomile, neem, oolong, po cha.

Enjoyed our chat. It really helped!

Especially for a satisfying explanation

Etan is a decent, albeit odd, man who's devoted his life

Etan just seems too good to be true.

Even a Thera Bear loves a good burn.

Even though I hate him.

Every single one.

Everybody laugh.

Everyone knows that's just stacked pubic hair, benjy.

Everyone needs help.

Everything in Sebben Town [ Gurgles ]

Everything was built to say "no" to me.

Everything... I'm telling you.

Everything's grays with judy. [ grunts ]

Evie, have you noticed the building sort of doing stuff?

Evie, what's the plan? How should I know?

Evie, you're the cure.

Evie: Transferring 1968 memories.

Evie!

Exactly as it was, but way better.

Except we don't get paid, and it's kind of a the

Executive touch!

Expecting to see a man.

Factories?

Farm to mouth to toilet and back to farm.

Fellas, are the walls slowly closing in on us?

Financial document, right here?

Find him, [bleep] him, and forget him.

Find judy ken sebben... Now.

Find somebody else to touch your back fat!

Firewall breach, ddos.

First thing we need to do is find the old telephone exchange.

Five klicks south southeast of Sebben Town.

Fix it!

Floris is dead!

Floris, refill that carafe, you lazy bag.

Focus on the future.

For a while now. I do most of the talking.

For about 7 bucks in today's dollars.

For an actual large type problem.

For female causes tonight.

For I am birdgirl's assistant.

For me?

For one thing he never accomplished

For people who've been canceled online.

For the display case, Judy.

For the last time,

For years, I struggled with social anxiety.

For you at that meeting?

For you.

Foreskins are highly sensitive,

Found in copy machines, office chairs, and...

Four internal microphones, visual data processing.

Fresh from the cleaner's!

Friends forever, Etan."

From...Skin.

Fuck if I know.

Fucking AT&T.

Fuke?

Fyi the best version of me comes out at night.

Gennifer wears seamlessly from morning to evening.

Gennifer, you meet birdgirl at the southeastern entrance

Gennifer! [ cellphone rings ]

Get behind the cart!

Get me a wireless account and a laptop.

Get out the side door.

Get the costumes to the theater, stat.

Get your hand around it.

Get your hands off me, and get out.

Getting off my jock.

Gil, I'm feeling a little empty,

Gillian said "ass."

Gillian, did you get the cost saving

Gillian, I appreciate it. [ grunts ]

Gillian, I forgot my password again.

Gillian, I forgot to tell gennifer

Gillian, it's kind of a low key secret.

Gillian, some things have been falling through the cracks.

Gillian, stop. You're making it worse.

Gillian, take a seat.

Gillian, we were wondering, you know,

Gillian, we're all just regular people

Gillian, you don't have to do this anymore.

Gillian: Must protect boss.

Gillian!

Gillian! And judy's.

Gillian! I'm running late.

Gillian. Hi.

Give me 10 minutes. I got to bolt,

Give me the go ahead, and we'll be swimming in

Glenn, we're six hours in to the leaked

Go down to his office and congratulate that asshole.

God damn it, eileen.

God, we're coming for you, Juju.

Goddamnit, Judy.

Good morn oh! Oh, my god!

Good morning, judy.

Good morning.

Good one, mer.

Good thing I had the GoPro.

Good townspeople, don't harm them.

Good townspeople.

Goodnight, Gracie.

Got it! It's only a couple miles away.

Got it?

Got it.

Got it. Be there in 10.

Got it. Let's write the keynote for tonight.

Got that, gillian? Roger.

Got to fly. Work thing.

Got to get that dude's bear.

Gotcha.

Graham, why?

Graham!

Great idea. [ glass shatters ]

Great to meet you, and great jumpsuit.

Great! Welcome to the team!

Gross!

Gross.

Guys, if you're wondering why you're so tired

Guys, Judy's sorry for taking you for granted.

Guys, uh, I'm, uh, looking over the plans here,

Guys, we all have them. Lance has one.

Guys, we've got the wrong address.

Guys. Guys! Don't leave while it's weird!

Ha ha!

Ha!

Had the notion to make the phones out of this stuff.

Hadn't heard that. I kind of like it.

Half a mil in the black.

Halloween?

Harbor gray or slate gray?

Hard g. Nice one.

Has the highest suicide rate of all Fortune 1,000 companies.

Have you been to Jeanette's?

Have you discussed this with carlo?

He always did love birdgirl.

He became one with us.

He did it.

He does. Huh.

He even has a sense of humor.

He has a hundred eye patches!

He insisted we use this impersonator.

He so waxes.

He tricked you into signing over your stock

He wants east assburg.

He'll be summoned. He knows not when.

He's an angel.

He's done this before.

He's gone.

He's got cancer. What do you want?

He's got feelings for me!

He's my son now, I guess.

He's not a freak!

He's not dead, everyone.

He's plotting to take over the company.

He's released your bank account info

He's right.

He's the one who's supposed to be murdered!

Head turn, right arm, knee bend, elbow grab,

Helen and I were together 37 years,

Helen!

Helicopter rotors.

Hell of a golf shot.

Hello, riders.

Hello?

Hello? Hello?

Hello. Hello?

Help me pull on this!

Help!

Her memories!

Her ridiculous number of o.T. Hours has put us in the red.

Here to save the company!

Here. Let's get it off you.

Here's his foot.

Hey, a group of us are grabbing drinks.

Hey, anybody want to grab a drink?

Hey, brian, I I'm not here to suck up to you

Hey, Dave, can you go get your Goddamn bear?

Hey, don't be so hard on her yourself.

Hey, guys, it's miriam.

Hey, guys, remember me? Beep beep.

Hey, guys.

Hey, handsome, want to come live in my purse?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey, what do you want?

Hey, hey, y'alls. It's the fun cops.

Hey, how about you let her go?

Hey, I've still got 3 1/2 minutes on my swedish!

Hey, if this isn't a good time, I I can come back.

Hey, it's scot with one t. I run manufacturing.

Hey, it's Tay Tay!

Hey, Jude, quick sidebar.

Hey, maybe we should check these people out.

Hey, mer. Look, your dad just died.

Hey, so, I'm sorry about your dad.

Hey!

Hey! [ Imitating fanfare ]

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hi. Can you open this?

Hi. I'm charlie, head of pr.

Hi. Uh, where's Judy?

Hippie? In this jumpsuit? Please.

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hmm. And that's an altar for the sacrifice.

Hmm. I usually fly solo on the mindtaking.

Hmmmmm.

Hmmmmmmm.

Hold it up like you were.

Holy fuck!

Holy shit.

Honey, honey, "executive touch"

Hoo!

Horrific things, wonderful things.

How a mineral makes products disappear.

How about we all take it down a notch?

How about you take a breath and process that?

How are you doing?

How could you let her approve a man eating toilet?

How could you?!

How did you crack my bear?

How did your families communicate anger?

How everyone expects her to fail, wants her to fail.

How many do we need?

How many times have we done this?

How much is two reams?

How much markup is that?

How on earth did you do this to yourself?

How'd I do?

How'd the launch go?

How'd you know we were calling from a landline?

How's this affect the sandwich board teams?

Huh?

Huh? I saw everything!

Huh? Oh, yeah, I agree.

Huh.

Huh. I thought I said "coffee."

Huh. I'm gonna grab a water.

Human waste, human waste!

Human.

Hush, man, hush. I can't kill you.

Hyah ha!

I accept!

I already know who I'll hire.

I am so amped.

I am so proud of you, Jude.

I am the gatekeeper, the keeper of secrets,

I am the master of human waste!

I approve!

I belong on the streets, not behind a desk.

I belong to an ancient people of sensitivity and feeling

I bet he starts at the "C."

I blew my shares, but at least it was my decision.

I bought a defective sympathy card from you.

I bought your stock just to give it back to you.

I brought you here to save your life.

I burned it. Then I buried it.

I called it, as C.E.O.

I can help you with your problems.

I can help.

I can totally see why phil chose birdgirl.

I can't believe he chose birdgirl [sighs] over me.

I can't cover for her anymore. She's never here.

I can't eat or sleep.

I can't hear me!

I can't hear you. Hello?

I can't let you find out that judy is birdgirl.

I can't pull them off personally,

I can't say which four.

I cannot wait to tell everyone at work.

I cast you down to the flames of...

I could just get ramen again,

I could see Scot with one T's life force draining from him.

I daresay I've never been readier.

I did it.

I did, too, when I was your age.

I didn't lose weight.

I didn't want money or the title.

I do. Fuck 'em. Right, Judy?

I do. That's true. [ Clears throat ]

I don't even know why you wanted his bear.

I don't find you repulsive!

I don't know about you people,

I don't know about you, but I could really get used

I don't know what that means.

I don't know what's wrong!

I don't know where or how or why or how,

I don't know why I'm laughing. [ laughs ] new feelings.

I don't know, trace, they just put me on register,

I don't know. I mean,

I don't like to be contradicted.

I don't make mistakes.

I don't need it, Mer.

I don't need to sacrifice my job for a man.

I don't really give a [bleep], Paul.

I don't want to interrupt the process.

I finally get why they're a fruit.

I follow the code of Local 836

I gave my everythi I I ng!

I get it.

I get it. You're afraid.

I give you the calypsis.

I give you... [ mouse clicks ]

I got a cat so he could play with himself,

I got an idea.

I got cake!

I got it.

I got so addicted to his approval,

I greenlit the man eating toilet for sebben & sebben.

I hate this height.

I have a few bear claws, me and a few other intactivists.

I have a fiancé.

I have a property so deep in assburg,

I have actually never been here,

I have been in the office for 67 minutes,

I have everything under control.

I have sort of grieved his might have deaths so many times,

I have this creepy fantasy he actually shows up in my office

I have to say, in man's world, I felt out of place,

I haven't seen you since 6:00 p.M. Last night,

I haven't seen you since you were...9?

I hope you're all keeping the rubber side down."

I hope you're keeping the rubber side down.

I I just need five minutes. You got one.

I I'm not a creep.

I just don't know what to do.

I just found out we raised over $160 million

I just need to talk to judy for one second.

I just want to spread my legs and relax!

I just wanted the glory.

I kind of am.

I knew it.

I know a thing or two about security.

I know how you feel.

I know I was gonna show you how to do a two minute eyebrow hack,

I know it feels like time has passed us by here

I know it's cheesy, but we're a team. I'll say it.

I know it's last minute.

I know she's birdgirl.

I know she's your friend, but she's not worth dying for.

I know this is a lot to process.

I know we're used to laughing at brian,

I know where it is.

I know where to find him. We're friends.

I know you invented the Share Bear,

I know you said birdgirl sucks as a ceo,

I know your name's on the company.

I know. But in a way, it does make emotional sense.

I know. Can you believe it? Oh.

I licked myself. Love to.

I like saying "go."

I live my life as a "yes."

I look at the real you and say the most awful,

I lost nine pounds in my room.

I love it! Thank you!

I love your project. You do?

I made a decision.

I mean, look at it. It's as wide as it is tall.

I mean, okay, great.

I mean, why are you destroying that?

I murdered Scot with one "T."

I name judy ken sebben as the new ceo of sebben & sebben.

I need to dry out and get my family back.

I never miss this event... For obvious reasons.

I never shot up.

I only connected to the world through computers.

I pretended to forget, but I I remember all of it.

I promise.

I promised him I'd make you a leader in his image

I protect judy's secret identity,

I read your letter, all nine scrolls of it.

I really can't believe I'm about to say this,

I really trusted you, you know?

I really want to change the topple popple can.

I refuse to be blee ooped.

I refuse to kind of fall for it again.

I remain at the ready.

I remember it all.

I saw things inside those toilet pipes, Judy...

I say, if they can't stop talking about layoffs,

I see, coffee.

I sent them a bundt cake from Kohler's.

I set up a webcam

I should be a slam poet.

I should take off my bra. This stuff is really good.

I speak for Judy Ken Sebben

I staked my reputation on you and your bears,

I stayed shut in.

I still sense tension.

I talk to buildings. What, I can't talk to molecules?

I tell you right now, that's how she kept our economy

I tell you what, every day and every way,

I think brian's gonna call a proxy meeting.

I think he'd like to have a say in this.

I think it'd be best to get the assistants together...

I thought all cats were girls.

I thought this was buried with Daddy!

I thought we sold southfield. We did.

I understand this guy. Let me bring him out alone.

I used to go there to tap everyone's office line

I used to think I should quit

I volunteer to eat your pain.

I want a personal briefing on the Baltimo Project

I warned you, anytime you [bleep] with a classic product,

I was a little surprised.

I was just trying to protect you.

I was like you once.

I was talking to myself.

I was trying to save them!

I wasn't calling you a... Payday!

I will do anything, so long as that never gets out.

I will gut you from stem to stern.

I will tell no one of that.

I will trade anything.

I won't take a penny less than... Are you nuts?

I wonder how he does it.

I wouldn't expect you to understand,

I... like your office.

I...Will?

I'd just like to say...

I'd like a wine spritzer.

I'd like nothing more than to fill your pit, but I can't.

I'd like to announce that...

I'd like to empower Judy to chill the out.

I'd love to go on my lunch break!

I'd never do anything to hurt Judy or Paul.

I'll be the keeper of her memories.

I'll be there in three, two...

I'll do everything in my power

I'll do some birdgirl ing, go to the event,

I'll find him.

I'll find the one person who can do this job.

I'll get gillian. Crudité time.

I'll give you 5 openness points.

I'll give you Paul or Judy.

I'll go first. [ Clears throat ]

I'll go to these functions and deliver an upbeat view

I'll make space right here.

I'll make sure to give this to judy when I see her.

I'll pay it all back on Thursday, babe.

I'll show her.

I'll start the hiring process straightaway.

I'll take that to go.

I'm a drunk.

I'm a goddamn dog.

I'm a mindtaker.

I'm a nun, and we know these things.

I'm a senior executive at this company.

I'm actually having thoughts about you

I'm all for women ceos

I'm an awful person. Who'd even invent this game?

I'm at the veggie shawarma place.

I'm benjy. Yeah, that's me.

I'm birdgirl.

I'm burning up.

I'm coming for you, Judy y!

I'm coming for you.

I'm dog with bucket hat, and I run security.

I'm Evie, by the way.

I'm feeling a little conflicted, and I wanted to come clean

I'm from Sebben & Sebben, and I'm here to save you.

I'm gengillian.

I'm gennifer, your new night assistant.

I'm getting a real strong pull.

I'm going home to binge a bunch of shows

I'm gonna be the bigger person,

I'm gonna do the right thing

I'm gonna enjoy this.

I'm gonna need her at the event tonight,

I'm gonna stop saying the word "layoffs."

I'm good. No. I'm good.

I'm having the weirdest déjà vu.

I'm her...representative until she gets here.

I'm here to announce a successor.

I'm in here!

I'm just gonna birdgirl straight from here.

I'm legally obligated to tell you, if this goes to [bleep],

I'm listening.

I'm meredith. I'm general manager.

I'm never gonna get to sleep tonight.

I'm not apologizing, and I'm not changing the can.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I clammed my pants!

I'm not gutter trash like you two.

I'm not quite sure where this goes.

I'm not sure I can do this.

I'm real. The stapler isn't.

I'm really only passionate about what I do after work.

I'm responsible for this.

I'm retiring at 45, meredith.

I'm Share Bear, your personal Thera Bear.

I'm Share Bear.

I'm shocked she actually hired someone.

I'm shocked your dad never told you.

I'm sick of this [bleep].

I'm so confident in this deal, I'll stake my reputation on it.

I'm sorry, Judy.

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry. Teaming us up?

I'm sorry. What's the Baltimo Project?

I'm super active in the genital autonomy movement.

I'm the good ceo. I can't lay people off.

I'm the only one strong enough to keep the secret.

I'm the only one you can trust!

I'm used to being ignored. [ sighs ]

I'm watching you.

I'm working just the right amount

I'm your backup so you don't make any mistakes.

I'm, uh, in recovery.

I've already found the perfect match.

I've been an ally. I've had your [bleep] back through this.

I've been anonymously sending his family all my loose change,

I've been out looking for a job, and now I'm home.

I've completely changed in the last hour,

I've given you this! [ calypsis gurgling ]

I've got a bit of a mindtaking situation down here.

I've had a costume made for each of you.

I've just got this other thing. It's, like, volunteer work.

I've made up my mind. In fact, I just approved the new design.

I've put my blood, sweat, tears, and [bleep] into this company

I've stared at you a lot.

If anyone's getting murdered, it's him.

If I get us out of here, you have to help me with something.

If I'm late on my court ordered restitution payments, I don't...

If just for a moment?

If only my fiancé weren't too busy cleaning

If the Bird Team is that important to you,

If this tanks, you lose it,

If you a day one real one,

If you a fake fan, get you that new

If you just approve refunds, the problem's solved.

If you want it to get out...

If you're not busy.

Impressive.

In a picture. Guys,

In changing the topple can. No, I won't.

In espadrilles and a welding mask.

In fact, I'm here because I treated you badly

In fact, I'm sure of it.

In fact, there really is no other woman on earth

In his bedroom, and I struggle not to nighty.

In my company,

In my head right now.

In my office, you understand?

In Sebben & Sebben on it.

Including gynecological.

Interestingly, she's a little casual

International Brother and Sisterhood

Internet security training video.

Into the future with the internet!

Into your pants.

Invite him out to a nice lunch,

Is 8:00 too early?

Is because you work for a rich, single woman

Is it super hot in here?

Is that a phone line, in a van?

Is that a startled drib?

Is the birthday guy loving it

Is this a palace?

Is this about the layoffs?

Is this the power input?

Isn't that something? [ cheers and applause ]

Isn't this just the best? Our first product launch.

It all spins.

It all started when my foreskin

It cures what ails ya.

It has 36 rooms and a laundry in the basement,

It is her, and she's here to save you.

It is like you crawled inside my brain.

It is super body positive, so that's something.

It is with great sadness, uh, that we must force you

It listens, learns,

It made everything feel better.

It sounds like you're creating a... victim narrative.

It sounds like you're fighting with your best friend.

It takes the farm to table concept,

It turns out stuff is disappearing.

It was a little boy, and that little boy

It was foretold, and it is her.

It was heavy.

It was originally two, but then my dad added

It was... Pbht! [ babbles ]

It wasn't pretty, but it was one thing,

It will?

It'd look like they discriminate against majorities.

It'll feel like you're inside of a grilled cheese sandwich.

It's "blee ooh oop."

It's 2:00. This is judy.

It's a bagpipe.

It's a birdgirl sandwich with a hog meat center.

It's a congrats gift from some dude... another C.E.O.

It's a good hang, until someone texts "You up?"

It's a miracle, dr. Sheila.

It's a motherfucker! [ Coughing, gasping ]

It's a, uh, 700% markup.

It's alive!

It's all got to go.

It's an intercom. Your assistant, gillian."

It's an unconventional choice, but makes sense.

It's beautiful.

It's been a while, hasn't it? [ chuckles ]

It's been happening all morning.

It's been saying things.

It's been watching me since I was a little girl.

It's breaking a lot of rules.

It's called a failsafe.

It's called improv, bri.

It's done.

It's escaped.

It's farm to mouth to toilet.

It's fine.

It's gil ian, hard g, as in "gatekeeper."

It's gonna be okay.

It's graham. Oh, pleasure.

It's him. [ scoffs ]

It's in every spy movie, and it works.

It's in my life planner. [ sighs ] I'll talk to her.

It's in the middle of nowhere.

It's judy! [ receiver clicks ]

It's just being repackaged. We're making the cans slimmer.

It's just old and falling apart.

It's like a palace.

It's like the main reason I work here.

It's mail time!

It's me, Meredith, in y'all's head!

It's my power now!

It's no wonder.

It's not "bwee yoop."

It's not a can. It's a...

It's not déjà vu. You've been here before.

It's not in my character. [ dogs barking ]

It's not on the map. I'll take it.

It's not real.

It's not that bad.

It's not too late to be the you you dream about.

It's not what you think!

It's not your fault at all.

It's okay for people really close to me

It's okay! I come in peace.

It's on the gift card.

It's organic venison.

It's paul, of the syracuse pauls.

It's payday, bitch!

It's really not what it seems, Judy.

It's saying, "Two will live. Two will die.

It's scared to lose its memories once we update the wiring,

It's so crazy, it just might work,

It's super easy to judge when you're second in command,

It's the building.

It's the experience boxes.

It's the fear that no one can hear me.

It's the super. I'm here to hang your...

It's time to modernize this place!

It's weird.

It's... Oh, forget it.

Jude, I got his bear to talk.

Jude, slow down.

Jude, you know how you're the boss

Jude, you know I support you,

Jude?

Judy just doesn't have it. Have what?

Judy just sort of took a backseat.

Judy ken sebben video, and there's still no sex.

Judy may trust you, but I don't,

Judy, if even just one person

Judy, it's Dave.

Judy, not so much.

Judy, our job is to take big swings,

Judy, you can't jump into an investment like this.

Judy?

Judy's cat.

Jump.

Just just in the purse, now.

Just a lady [groaning] with big paws who likes her soda.

Just a little something to commemorate

Just a snap of these fingers,

Just as another begins.

Just because you can mindtake

Just checking in!

Just go.

Just know that the words "bird" or "team"

Just lace up the old booty ooty oots,

Just like Birdgirl tells us to.

Just so we're clear, there are no massive layoffs going on.

Just so you can project your self loathing onto them.

Just someone who can keep a secret

Just wait till we release your ceo head shots.

Kill her!

Kingdom come...

Knowing that we shared something and having a lovely

Knows about your secret identity,

Lance, buddy, tell them. Tell them!

Landed on the old feet.

Language. Wait. Who's pissed?

Laters!

Le coq au vin, gillian.

Leave her out of it!

Legal reasons.

Let me do it. Trust me?

Let me explain.

Let out tension.

Let's all applaud judy for making bold suggestions!

Let's do this.

Let's get you home.

Let's go. [ cellphone chimes ]

Let's just see, shall we? I think we shall.

Let's meet in my office to discuss.

Let's not blame the building for our own failings.

Let's roll.

Let's see if this gets you to talk.

Let's see what you're hiding up in that piece, Mr. Delvay.

Let's talk about this.

Like right now.

Like there's a pit in my stomach.

Like when we have the Internet.

Like, "Brian, nobody ever talks about your hairline."

Like, 1 to 10, what's my risk exposure?

Like, actual human parents who aren't the undead?

Like, this one time, I'm on a Cazmatrans bus sitting next

Listen to me, going on and on and on about myself.

Listen, no one can ever see that.

Little help?

Live. On instagram.

Look at this little guy.

Look, either way, I'm covered.

Look, I appreciate what you've been doing.

Look, I know birdgirl has a unique leadership style,

Look, I'm not saying they do?

Look, let me do this.

Loose lips. Can't keep his mouth shut.

Lots of cat, no sex.

Lounging in their caftans

Made in Georgia.

Made in georgia.

Mainly me, undue embarrassment.

Make the employees talk so much,

Making you the majority shareholder.

Man the backstays, boys! I'm going in!

Man: [ laughing ] daddy?

Man: Energy.

Man: Energy. ...That gillian and gennifer might miss.

Man: Even though we weren't saved from total destruction,

Man: Firewall breach! Ddos!

Man: Introducing your keynote speaker...

Man: Relax.

Man: What do you want from us, stranger?

Man: Yeah! [ laughter ]

Many of us spent time on his penis.

Maybe because I'm such a good person.

Maybe I didn't have my coffee strong enough this morning.

Maybe if we sell the northfield plant. We already did.

Maybe it was because I was a dog.

Maybe just taste this cucumber. Don't need to!

Maybe now is a good time to

Maybe this will stop all the employee rumors about layoffs.

Maybe we can just follow this old phone line

Maybe we start with some motorcycle slang.

Maybe. Or as sensitively brewed masala chai tea.

Me to general manager.

Me too.

Means something different in massage speak.

Memory of it will kind of be torture.

Mer, as Birdgirl, I've been trying to save

Mer, get the Birdteam.

Mer, I can't believe it!

Mer, I don't know what we would have done

Mer, tell the guys I'm sorry for taking them for granted.

Meredith the mindtaker... What?

Meredith thinks she's supporting you.

Meredith, you do a listening tour.

Meredith: Which is why a lot of people have told me

Meredith: Your refund's being processed.

Mind if I take a look around?

Mindtaker.

Miriam: It's a pleasure to meet you, paul.

Miss ken sebben, we're all pulling for you.

Mm hmm. [ grunts ]

Mm hmm. Did it, though?

Mm, Bird Team.

Mm.

Mm. You can turn that off.

Mmm.

Mom left you in a running car while she went on a date?

Morale's never been better.

More or less.

Morning, all. Good morning.

Ms. Birdgirl, have you ever had to choose between eating

Must be the fumes.

My assessment is that judy needs to get the [bleep] out of dodge.

My foreskin's back!

My friend Dave his phone's for shit.

My God, does he never leave his apartment?

My god, even a cat can see it.

My god, I thought you were smart technology.

My god, what have you done?

My god.

My golf game's gone to

My golf game's gone to [bleep]!

My life will fall apart.

My mom works here, and I use her I.D.

My taste runs more to nerdy grad student

My veggie gumbo has tomatoes again.

Nah, I can sign that one solo.

Nah. That's something else.

Nay! Nay!

Neither should you. The shit.

Neodymium, a rare earth magnet.

Neodymium, go!

Never give birdgirl a freshly sharpened knife,

Never mind. It's my own sex fantasy thing.

Never touch the can, not even to drink from it."

New topple popple slim cans, topple popple classic cans.

Next time, say it and spray it, but don't write it.

Next to my dad,

Next to that statue downstairs.

Next to the mine Sebben Town.

Next!

Next! Brian: Human waste.

Nice to meet you.

Night, Jude.

No anger.

No bear shall pass that threshold!

No more boring sleep.

No more mindtaking.

No more playing with matches. [ cat meows ]

No one can see the suit,

No one wants to hear your weird, dangerous idea.

No problem on my end.

No psych up music, not today.

No water! Your turn.

No wonder you didn't want to pass out memos.

No, I mean what do you want?

No, I must go. I have values.

No, my name's not really Vivian.

No, no, I do not accept!

No, no, no, no, no! No, no. I'll I'll go.

No, she thinks I can't do my job without her.

No, thanks.

No, there really isn't a dial.

No, wait! No, wait, please stop!

No, we're gonna do this the right way.

No, you did everything right.

No, you don't, because he's in my safe house.

No, you guys.

No!

No! [ Gasps ]

No! The Baltimo is what's hurting you!

No! The product's not going anywhere.

No? Just resting?

No? Where is judy anyway?

No. We got this.

Nobody move!

Nobody move! Show us your hands.

Nobody says that to my judy!

Nobody told me there was a meeting.

Nobody's ever asked me that.

Nobody's that good. Oh, one thing.

None of these people are good enough for judy.

None of us can take it.

None of you like the costumes!

None of your beeswax, "pube jy."

Nope.

Nope. None. Not one bit.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Nose in the carpet, hands above the top bun. [ british accent ] oh, hello.

Not a big fan of dudes, super feminist.

Not a guy. [ groans ]

Not black and white like phil and me. [ glass shatters ]

Not by my company, by Meredith. Ugh.

Not daddy.

Not for her sake but for ours.

Not happy, gillian. It's my fault.

Not keep it a secret...

Not literally.

Not the old lady.

Not today, toilet. Not today.

Not yet.

Not you. Her.

Nothing can happen that I haven't anticipated.

Nothing for the bear. He's driving.

Nothing gets past you, does it, ya helpful bastard?

Nothing until one day, your dad made a discovery

Now do you see why it's good to have judy around sometimes?

Now I forgot why I would oh, right.

Now I have a responsibility to bring feeling back to mankind!

Now it's disappearing and leaving holes in you,

Now let's bring her out your new ceo, birdgirl!

Now proceed with this three minute

Now she's owed the two who will live.

Now that we have a website, we need to choose a photo of you.

Now the world waits to see

Now you don't have to.

Now, how to show Judy all this?

Now, that's a good angle.

Nowhere near birdgirl. That's where.

Nuh unh.

Of all the time, all the time.

Of course.

Of Electrical Workers.

Of naming brian o'brien the new ceo, say "aye."

Of sebben & sebben.

Of the mindtaken so far as it spares both parties,

Of why my father walked away from us.

Of, uh, the rebrand.

Off my cans.

Oh, at the bottom is the playlist for my memorial.

Oh, christ jesus! [ gasps ]

Oh, daddy! No!

Oh, dear.

Oh, everyone is loving these little

Oh, father of light, it's just a dream.

Oh, god, no. [ growling ]

Oh, god, they're all so gray!

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Tell them to stop clapping.

Oh, good, Brian's back.

Oh, he sold. Okay.

Oh, hey, mer.

Oh, hi! You must be one of the little girls

Oh, I don't like this. What's going on in there?

Oh, I don't mind. I like to work with my hands.

Oh, I know. How?

Oh, I somehow wish I could step away.

Oh, I'm sorry. Is that a crime?

Oh, if it's a hypothetical, you've got to do

Oh, if you thought the no sex tape was embarrassing,

Oh, it's a bottomless fondue pot,

Oh, jude, he just released your sex tape.

Oh, mailman. We should have done mailman.

Oh, my God, I've got so many of those!

Oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god.

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.

Oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god.

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.

Oh, my God, you have no mind to take.

Oh, my god, you're right. It is.

Oh, my god!

Oh, my god.

Oh, my God. I I'm so sorry.

Oh, my god. I look like an empanada.

Oh, my God. She did?

Oh, my, only one signature needed.

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, no, they're out of that cute leopard print

Oh, not really. What's your name?

Oh, paul sweet, sweet, sensitive paul.

Oh, please tell me about him.

Oh, right, my [bleep] order. Let's see.

Oh, right! I'll have the [bleep] ramen.

Oh, right. Our first step in modernizing the company,

Oh, right. We didn't have the Internet.

Oh, so, so sorry!

Oh, something else to sign.

Oh, sorry. [ light switch clicks on ]

Oh, sorry. I'll find your wet food.

Oh, thank god.

Oh, thank you for everything, miriam,

Oh, that gillian. [ chuckles ]

Oh, that makes sense. Question why me, graham?

Oh, the building.

Oh, this is so unique.

Oh, wait. I already told you that.

Oh, whatever you think is best, Gillian.

Oh, when we ran the tests, the veggies tasted fine.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah! Booyah! It's in the details.

Oh, yeah? Who?

Oh, yeah. I see that fat stomach.

Oh, yes, you are.

Oh, yes, you can.

Oh, you almost had me.

Oh, you really are a miracle worker.

Oh!

Oh! [ laughs ]

Oh! Still 12 bucks short.

Oh! The building, Sister Wilma.

Oh.

Oh. Can you come back?

Oh. What are you sacrificing? Aah!

Ohh, boy.

Ohh!

Ohh! ...Is ginormo.

Ohh! Hashtag me knot.

Ohh! My god, I do need to fix this.

Ohh.

Okay, great day today, gillian.

Okay, great, now birdgirl gets an all night assistant.

Okay, how many do we have?

Okay, I'm bored.

Okay, is that what I sound like?

Okay, okay, good burn.

Okay, ready.

Okay, so tonight is your speech

Okay, the building is alive, and it merged personalities

Okay, this is very important.

Okay, we're not the topple girls, are we?

Okay, well, uh, can you wrap it up?

Okay, y you got to believe me,

Okay, you know what? Put your shirt back on.

Okay, you'll do that by yourself.

Okay.

Okay. I'll go again. You were absolutely terrible.

Okay. I'm not a tube of toothpaste.

Old ladies are no longer considered just back warmers.

Old, unsold Sebben & Sebben stuff and market it

On behalf of the team.

On it, boss.

On it.

On the horizon, we sensed danger.

On the other end to feel you hang up in their stomach.

On the same page.

Once the flip phoners get the Internet.

Once upon a time, there were two friends...

One, publicly admit you made a horrible mistake

One, two, birdgirl!

One, two, three, huh!

Only line that works right now.

Only, like, all the time!

Ooh ooh ooh.

Ooh, mama.

Ooh, maybe thunder sky,

Ooh, my head. This stuff is rat poison.

Ooh, pits then tits.

Ooh, the Insta Skinner!

Ooh!

Ooh! [ slurps ]

Ooh! A hammer for...nailing.

Ooh.

Oop. Found another.

Oops, forgot about me. [ gun cocks ]

Oops! Aah! Lose a turn, Gillian. Not true. [ Chuckles ]

Oops! Oops!

Or "hands resting on desk" ceo.

Or do you want to go to that place?

Or going to the bathroom?

Or is that screaming for attention?

Or mental health, or...

Or missing a limb, it's Baltimo.

Or should I say gillian?

Or the bombing victims on 26?

Or wins. I forget.

Or you just couldn't hear it over your fuckin' bagpipe.

Or...

Our 401(k)s are tied to sebben & sebben stock,

Our engineers spent months trying to crack it.

Our first time paying the employees together?

Our new ceo, birdgirl, has never met most of us.

Outsiders! Kill them! Kill the hippies!

Over here.

Over the mystical range of full feeling.

Ow!

Ow! [ Groans ]

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Paging birdgirl!

Pain in the ass.

Partly, I'm worried about my unsigned paycheck,

Paul, this is miriam.

Paul, you round them up, and drive them towards Charlie.

Paul: [ Laughing ]

Paul: [ Singing ] Here's to the ladies who lunch.

Paul? Paul!

Payday!

People are spending all their work hours

People have told me I have a good voice.

People not listening to me. Ow! Trigger point!

People think they went on a date with.

People travel thousands of miles to have sex with their sig o's

People will be able to use a winked at, at work!

Perhaps you'd like to hear why. I'm talking over here.

Permission to speak on air.

Phil also gave you, judy,

Phil ken sebben was birdgirl's dad,

Phil Ken Sebben, the founder?

Phil ken sebben...

Phil's gone, which sucks,

Please charge that. Remember the racist grandpa

Please.

Pleasure doing business with you.

Plus, apparently, we have a tag line

Plus, it smells like beans.

Plus, it's going to take off four months off your life.

Pointing to heaven.

Pretty sure this is on you.

Pretty sure we're gonna make the news again.

Probably because I cloned all our files,

Problem was, it didn't have enough heft.

Productivity is way down.

Protected class. They can't fire me.

Psst. Um, hi. Sorry.

Put her in a coma. ...Hire another assistant to split her workload.

Put your ear to the wall.

Quick on camera thing, all softball.

Quittin' time!

Read the envelope.

Really and truly?

Really?

Really? Fascinating.

Really? The Eostre cards go in this slot!

Really.

Relax! Unwind!

Relax.

Relax. I'm not gonna force you

Remember that ass clenchingly precarious balance sheet?

Rent! Yes!

Repeatedly.

Replaces table with mouth, and quintuples profit.

Reporter: Phil ken sebben, known to millions as daddy,

Reporting to you.

Rest, and tomorrow we can talk about that vacation.

Ri i i ght...

Right over to my account.

Right, right.

Right! There are two of us.

Roofie hankie!

Rumor has it, the boss is looking for some night help.

Sad?

Sadistic, sexual, selfish, scornful, supercilious

Sausage?

Say hi to judy, everyone.

Says the fellow who dropped 980 Phils for his house.

Says this one's fairly effective

Sebben & sebben hasn't had this many orders for anything ever.

Sebben & Sebben produced.

Security! Aim for the [bleep]!

See he's a genius.

See, Mer, Ete is a genius.

Sent them to all the major news outlets,

Shake it 'round, thumb up ass.

Shake it 'round, thumb up hoo hah.

Share Bear brings affordable mental healthcare to all.

Share Bear... this guy.

Share with me.

Share with me. S S Share.

Share...

Sharing.

Sharing. All bears share.

Sharing. Sharing.

Sharing...

She didn't.

She does put every goddamn thing in her mouth.

She eats on the company dime?

She is not my cat. Oh!

She isn't dealing with phil's death.

She told me you'd be starting tonight.

She was the love of my life, helen, and she's in that house.

She will atone for the sins of her father

She'll lead us to even better days.

She'll leave everything to you.

She's an angel cat.

She's been watching all of us, taking care of us.

She's fine. I just knocked her out

She's got a duct through her pelvis.

She's got a point. We're an old school company.

She's got to come to a stop sometime,

She's our hero. Yours too, I'd imagine.

She's phil in womanly form.

She's so boss.

She's so pretty when she's sleeping...

She's using c 4 to unclog the printer.

She's, like, totally freaked out

Shh! Have some cake, relax.

Shh.

Shi i i i i i i i t!

Should be hard to lift because you're at work,

Should have gone union.

Should it ever come to that.

Shouldn't you be on my side [groaning] rooting for me?

Show time.

Shush. Don't speak.

Shut the lid and step away from the bowl!

Shut up, Share Bear.

Sic 'em. [ gurgles ]

Sic semper calypsis!

Sign right there.

Signify your agreement by clicking the "accept" button.

Simply order from our selection of farm fresh meals,

Since I was a kid,

Since it's only in stuff in the curated boxes,

Since launching this ad campaign,

Sir, peter pants contributes in ways you don't know,

Slap it. Ow.

Slightly off desk, strong, powerful" ceo

So every movie features Birdgirl?

So he could wrest control of Sebben & Sebben from you.

So how come you're not in the office?

So I chucked it all,

So I could check on sir peter pants when I'm not home.

So I double erased it 'cause, I mean, emotion, ugh!

So I guess we can call it a no sex tape.

So I'll take the flash drive and the money,

So I'm nosing around for the real dirt.

So I'm promoting

So much that you risked 20% of your company.

So people can pick it up.

So this clever bastard in engineering

So today we're gonna sacrifice a real, live human.

So we can have a man to skin conversation.

So we don't get sued before it disintegrates

So you can move that 20% of Judy's stock

So you could go to the local bar,

So you could say mean things to people

So, birdgirl isn't working out.

So, by worrying about layoffs, employee productivity is down,

So, every time, I show up at your door

So, how are you? And I don't mean that as a platitude.

So, how long you been talking to buildings?

So, I cruised the topple boards, and I organized

So, I don't understand

So, I've done some questionable things for the company.

So, it's not porn, but it is exactly the kind of business

So, let's go around the room,

So, ready to do this?

So, there's this guy Dave who's so bland and soft and milky.

So, this is designed to, what, freak me out?

So, turning our focus to asia...

So, uh, let's get started.

So, what brings you in today?

So, where's this town?

So, yeah, never.

So, you guys will put one of these on everyone's desk and

So, you know Birdgirl, do you?

So, you're not hell spawn?

So... Hey.

Some of them decided to pursue other opportunities.

Somebody needs saving! [ rope gun fires, glass shatters ]

Someday, judy, you won't have to pretend anymore

Someone must have made a sale, 'cause I just piddled.

Soon it was sprinkled on your cereal,

Soothe! Heal!

Sorry I'm late, everyone,

Sorry I'm late, everyone. Speaking of which,

Sorry, daddy...Ish.

Sorry, uh, bit of a mix up.

Sorry, you already planned a launch party?

Sorry.

Sort of in the middle of something.

Sorta, yes, with an asterisk. Yes?

Speaking of ass clenching, anyone headed outside?

Speaking of hog meat, where is birdcat?

Speech, speech, speech, speech.

Stay calm. We'll get you out.

Stay here with us, live as a thrupple.

Step away from the mouse pad.

Stick with that topple popple classic.

Still half a million short. Damn.

Stop fighting!

Stop, please!

Stop.

Stuck down in the basement in the waste lab.

Stuffed in your animals.

Super perfect way to describe him. Benjy can fill in the gaps

Sure, I've been fortunate.

Sure, that slim can topple new new is 50% cheaper.

Sure. No problem.

T the toilet works.

Take a little stroll through his brainpan to see if he's legit.

Take us back to the clinic, Judy.

Talk to me, baby.

Talking foreskin?

Taste pipe, shit brick!

Taylor's death shall be avenged!

Tell me about your father.

Tell no one of what you've seen here.

Than the all staff you're not at?

Thank goodness. [ yawns ]

Thankfully, Birdgirl and her friends have generously offered

Thanks for coming, everyone.

Thanks for saying that... Out loud.

Thanks for unlocking it.

Thanks, broom guy.

Thanks, Chaz.

Thanks.

That cat's a freak.

That felt really real.

That Glenda is gone forever.

That goddamn cat's right.

That got out of hand.

That I may or may not have heard.

That lives in the vents.

That makes all the things no one else will.

That makes me feel both wonderful and horribly guilty.

That old story.

That T shirt's so thick.

That thing attacked me!

That vag attacked my client.

That was actually your idea.

That was close. Did he see it? Did he see the suit?

That was never legal.

That wasn't super convincing.

That we're turning things around.

That went easier than I thought.

That you don't watch the workday tick by

That you're just a corporate lawyer,

That... That's your stern, right?

That'll be worth money someday.

That's a gripping story,

That's all you got?

That's called coprophilia.

That's friendship.

That's from my private collection,

That's impossible. I snipped you mysel

That's it, the last one.

That's masala chai.

That's my bum button.

That's my poo chute.

That's new.

That's not ignoring.

That's not really what I meant.

That's not short for Etan, is it?

That's okay, because that's what I heard.

That's right.

That's right. People will say,

That's totally normal.

That's very good, Brian, but it sounds like

That's what I said, "blee ooh oop."

That's what the building taught you?

That's where I brew it.

That's why I always taught you at canasta.

That's your cue

That's, like, elizabethan for,

The Baltimo Project.

The beefy handed can still enjoy a cold topple popple,

The BM 1136 lag bolt 87% Baltimo.

The building is not alive.

The building mainly listens.

The building!

The cat's lick. It's...

The ceo. Duh.

The company's going down in flames.

The dam, not his crotch.

The dirty deeds I've done for the company.

The event starts at 8:00.

The first "b" is silent.

The first time, you asked me to do it,

The forecast, mostly sunny skies today.

The forgotten klimt painting!

The gig is up, gennifer.

The guy you went to the prom with,

The important thing is all your ladies' medical secrets are safe.

The knot in your shoulder...

The last one was dressed like an actual can.

The latest numbers are in.

The majority of the company stock.

The memories of her.

The merciless one has claimed her victims.

The metaphorical one.

The more he pleaded with me...

The next ceo of sebben & sebben is...

The one who plays the accordion.

The only reason anyone, uh, pretends to like you

The only rule is it's got to be honest.

The only way I could get him to pay attention to me

The only way to access the info is, head turn right, arm, knee,

The past couple of days, it's from Baltimo.

The perfect launch pad for a revolutionary new product.

The plaque out of people's mouths

The projected end of the world.

The pubic lump guy?

The real missing dead see scrolls.

The shifting of resources may mean staff changes.

The stomach issues you've been having

The sun rises because of me,

The thermostat's set at 97... for my teeth.

The thought of getting up in front of all of you...

The union electricians will be here in a sec.

The women in business male empowerment seminar,

The world changes, but you're the same.

The world one person at a time.

Then again, some jobs call for birdgirl.

Then get back to birdgirl ing.

Then I'm going to die, and nobody's going to know

Then it occurred to your dad if it makes everything better,

Then it was... to you.

Then they tell three more,

Then they tell three, and it's three cubed.

Then those three become nine,

Then what do they think they have?

Then why would we need a memo?

Then you started to get emotionally invested

Then, someone falsely claims birdgirl injures them

Then, you'll meet me, gillian, at the production booth,

There are no gaps!

There are some [chuckles] minor ish problems.

There are still people in the mines!

There have been rumors about layoffs? [ clears throat ]

There is a lot of room in there.

There is no dial.

There's "weird," "weird violent,"

There's a board meeting

There's a parachute in the bench.

There's a presence in that building,

There's a sound that goes with it?!

There's absolutely nothing for you out there.

There's gonna be some blowback. [ zipper closes ]

There's no birdgirl without me!

There's some human waste!

These junior pilot plastic wings

They already have into their own hands.

They did it. You all did it, even Paul.

They fed her Baltimo when she was a kid,

They forget what they're afraid of, but no "bwee oop."

They found a way to make an old company sort of relevant again.

They found this.

They might rise up, take the power

They share... with the world!

They think they'll get your money.

They were high, but even impaired,

They were more valuable working the mines.

They won't even know.

They'll do the wiring while we distribute the memos.

They'll leave the building, and everyone will know our secrets.

They'll see "hands clasped,

They're clapping their arms off.

They're just like us.

They're my friends.

They're trash. I've broken, like, 10.

Things just always seem to work out for me.

Things people can touch.

This company's been asleep at the wheel,

This fight's between me and you!

This is [bleep]!

This is a billion times worse than a sex tape.

This is balls of gordo and balls on power 101.

This is just a little something I threw together

This is just a waste of time for the viewers.

This is my ticket out of here

This is nice.

This is the absolute last time I say "layoffs."

This is the kind of leadership this company needs.

This is your fault!

This isn't the end. It's a beginning.

This literally tastes like shit.

This one!

Those are some real meat hooks you got there

Though I'm not the sun.

Three, apologize for being a dumb [bleep].

Three, two, one.

Tickle me for "yes."

Time for work!

To be projected on the screen,

To bringing goodness to the world,

To change into judy's evening gown.

To close the screen door when you come in?

To come with me to save hundreds of people.

To drive success!

To get a positive message out there.

To hire a second assistant to assist you?

To hit the road?

To keep things exciting in case we ever did it again,

To know about birdgirl,

To lead the company your father built from nothing. No, I won't.

To make a...capitalism.

To make one thing the topple popple can

To make this right, sir. What's that?

To making Share Bear a reality.

To me, the Bird Team is more than

To on things.

To practice on the weekends and wander around

To protect the building's memories.

To relocate everyone while they rebuild Sebben Town

To replace birdgirl with brian o'brien as ceo!

To save the city as... [ bookcase creaking ]

To shove him down that ridiculously small hole.

To show the world we're ethical, progressive,

To stop the rumors about layoffs.

To take care of the little things around the house.

To test the Share Bears on.

To the foreskin who saved your father.

To this ass clenchingly precarious balance sheet.

To this having sex.

To this old well, let's call her a lady to keep it simple...

To track down topple nation.

To underline a point, that person should feel it!

To use your five months of unused vacation time.

Together, we'll put mental healthcare

Together: Who, her? Yes.

Took a mom and pop law firm

Toothpaste.

Topple nation: [ distorted voice ] it's just me here, I'm afraid.

Topple nation: [ distorted voice ] this is topple nation.

Topple nation: [ distorted voice ] well done, judy.

Topple nation: [ slurps ]

Topple popple slim can light.

Topple popple.

Totally uncrackable.

Transaction and agree to be bound by the terms

Transferring 1969 memories.

Trashing the city, she's tanking the price.

Try some of our produce.

Trying to do the best we can, and you're better than best.

Turn your head slightly.

Turned your assistant into a three headed monster,

Turns out it's not.

Two cultures united in love and sensuality,

Two must die.

Two years, Tuesday company.

Two, admit that you are unqualified

Ugh, I can't believe Meredith, thinking I need her help!

Ugh, Meredith. Yes.

Ugh!

Ugh! [ gunshots and screaming in distance ]

Ugh! What the? We have your information.

Ugh! Where is she?

Ugh. Can we talk about this later?

Ugh. Dave.

Ugh. He sure is... something.

Ugh. Hi, benjy.

Ugh. It'll be so much easier sending them

Ugh. Where am I?

Ugh. You can turn that off, right?

Ugh. You going in, or am I?

Uh huh. He felt guilty

Uh unh.

Uh, $160,000.

Uh, are you sure you got all the kinks worked out?

Uh, as you know, I'm bad at emotions.

Uh, both of us? There, tonight?

Uh, but yeah.

Uh, do we care that none of this is legal?

Uh, except him.

Uh, I am the ceo.

Uh, I can't

Uh, I mean, you know...

Uh, I think she's dying.

Uh, I will?

Uh, if they can't stop talking about layoffs, do some layoffs.

Uh, is that the the decimal?

Uh, l let's see.

Uh, let me go get them.

Uh, sebben & sebben will always honor its past.

Uh, shouldn't you have scanned that laptop for the topple virus

Uh, that's judy's.

Uh, there's a good chance you're killing dr. Sheila.

Uh, wait till 9:00... Or 8:00.

Uh, what do the other buttons do?

Uh, why am I here on an off day?

Uh, yes, gillian.

Uh, yes, I'm here to hang the picture.

Uh, yo, card guy, uh,

Uh, you kissed your cousin once.

Uh... [ Clears throat ]

Uh... You're at the circus.

Uh...sure.

Um, and I have a tiktok content strategy locked and loaded.

Um, Baltimo has a half life.

Um, can I get you something... some hot tea...

Um, gulp.

Um, I'm Judy.

Um, it's the ceo's office, actually.

Um, just, like, ballpark, when do you think I'll be able

Um, maybe...not.

Um, that's every toilet. This one eats people!

Um...

Unh! You're ruining it! Shut up and get in here.

Until a corpse dog sniffs me out

Until it reaches the exchange.

Until today, when she, a female ceo, killed it.

Until we found him, half wild, and nursed him back to health.

Until you can slip out, under cover of night,

Use reason! Think about it!

Using the pads in front of you, I want you to write down

Veggie gumbo, extra tomatoes.

Very... minimal.

Voice: You didn't ask if you could come in!

W W W What?!

Wah wah. Much better.

Wait a second.

Wait, I almost said it.

Wait.

Wait. I thought it just ate waste.

Wait. Jude, let's talk about this.

Wait. So, I didn't mindtake you?

Wait. There are two little girl

Wait. When you said david, did you mean

Wait. Your folks?

Want to grab a bagel to fill the pit?

Want to know something about your dad and me?

Want to play backgammon?

Was to do crazy, impulsive stuff as birdgirl.

Was too good to be true, because Sebben & Sebben

Way off the beaten path, woodsy.

We all know there's no replacing phil,

We are done and done, and don't ever come back here.

We both took vacation days... and ayahuasca.

We built an entire test town made of Baltimo

We called it Baltimo.

We could no longer be with her.

We cut to the chase, call it like we see it,

We did it, you guys.

We discovered a second portal to hell, so...

We don't know anything about the tech world,

We filled the first one in, like, a week and a half.

We get busy, then I erase your memory.

We got a live one here. Don't blow it.

We got a vintage topple tee.

We got the Internet!

We have to assume they've seen everything, know everything.

We have to fire gillian. We can't fire gillian.

We have your information judy's information.

We have?

We hoped you'd say that.

We just passed 3,000 feet, and there's a super good chance

We just published your phone number online.

We just sold 500 boxes of old office supplies

We knew these men would prioritize inhibitions

We like to think of it more as

We make practical things... coal, potash, porn...

We meet at the church thursdays.

We messed up the reason we were here

We need judy.

We need someone with tight lips and a tighter ass

We now summon instagram stories.

We put the stuff into every single product

We said we were not gonna do this! Go on.

We should be in.

We used the virus to wreck the city network.

We were friends once, or at least I was."

We were.

We'll always be here, cassie, right here, no matter what.

We'll both do it. [ inhales deeply ]

We'll do a ton of premiums.

We'll get you out!

We'll hold your stock as collateral...

We'll just keep doing it.

We're a shoeless household.

We're a team of heroes who saved the company

We're gonna be okay.

We're gonna sell so much soda today.

We're happy to back you up,

We're her family.

We're here with judy ken sebben, ceo of sebben & sebben

We're not fighting!

We're one now.

We're redesigning the topple popple can.

We're right here, dad.

We're so confident, Judy will stake 20% of her stock

We're so tired.

We're your friends.

We've been getting pre orders out the ass.

We've got a deal. Lock it up.

We've got no choice. Unless we...

We've got to figure out a way to save her memories.

We've just been waiting for our time to launch our company

We've known for years,

Wednesday fritters!

Weird and dangerous? I'm intrigued.

Welcome to prepucian.

Welcome to the Nest.

Well you are?!

Well, a little bit for hers.

Well, after you run it past the board. Oh.

Well, everybody, I'm officially ceo of sebben & sebben.

Well, good luck with that.

Well, he was her father.

Well, I need a [bleep] check from someone who's been there.

Well, I need approval to unlock it. From?

Well, I should have.

Well, I sure don't.

Well, isn't that great for you.

Well, it's all in the letter.

Well, Judy. It's this job.

Well, now it tastes like shit.

Well, permit or no, wiring, phone systems

Well, she never stops, she's an arrow in motion,

Well, that and the 91 hour work week, of course.

Well, that went well. You did great.

Well, that's one down.

Well, uh, I'd like to introduce

Well, we should probably be a moseying down the road.

Well, we'll squeeze in a visit to the Baltimo mines.

Well, what if you could share a piece of david again,

Well, what if you make a mistake?

Well, you are the ceo.

Well, you wanted to see me. Here I am.

Welp, when you realize you're desperate for the benjy effect,

Wha How did you

Wha This is your money?

What about that weird kid on the 27th floor?

What am I doing?

What are espadrilles?

What are we doing here?

What are you?

What could be sebben & sebben's newest product.

What did they do to you, baby boy?

What do you think Brian does on a Friday night

What has birdgirl given you?! Let's vote.

What if somehow we found the funds

What if...It's true?

What is it, Mary Catherine?

What is that?

What now?

What people?

What the [bleep]

What the [bleep] have you done?

What the does that mean?!

What the hell did I do?

What, this?

What, what, what, what, what?

What?

What? Why?

What?!

What's going on? Graham! Ugh!

What's next? Let's burn some [bleep] down.

What's that in the folder?

What's that mean? How should I know?

What's that?

What's that? It's a transmitter. It's like 6g.

What's that? You're right, the [bleep] ramen.

What's the matter, calypsis?

What's this?!

What's wrong with lipstick, huh?

What's wrong?

What's your name?

Whatever I think is best.

Whatever I think is...

Whee!

When folks saw that the stress of working for you

When I first met Judy, I thought this partnership

When I first started here,

When I say it's a new day at Sebben & Sebben.

When I was a little too into us.

When is gillian back?

When skinning seals was efficient and fun.

When that was still legal.

When the market for Baltimo dried up,

When the world ended.

When these two suggested we use all this

When they take a baby away for circumcision...

When we both left work.

When you hang it up hard, you want the person

When you lie, your forehead swells.

Where are we?

Where did you get that?

Where do you want it?

Where I'll drop off her head shot

Where in the [bleep] is brian?

Where is Paul?

Where the alphabet starts at "D."

Where they drug the guests

Where women and children and the terminally ill

Where you ask? To my safe house

Where'd this goddamn cat come from?!

Where'd you get that?

Where's Dog? He just got a fax.

Where's our paychecks?!

Where's the button? Where's the button?

Where's the buzzer?

Whew.

Whew. Boy, I can I can really smell that.

Which is what I'll tell the authorities,

Which is why brian's joining you.

Which is why he left you all his stock,

Which is why I'm here.

Which is why I'm putting you both in charge

Which means he saw me as executive material!

Which means we have to be super serious about it.

Which means you last shaved when you went home for Thanksgiving.

Which says "confident and decisive" to you,

Which was when?

Which we did.

Which will lead to massive layoffs. I'll take notes.

Which will provide you with ample cover

While I take some not space to read that New Yorker article

While judy knows you all,

While not admitting guilt.

While people gossip or take 10 minute breaks,

Who are "you guys"?

Who can't pay his vet bill. But here's the thing.

Who embodies phil as much as birdgirl.

Who is it?

Who is the girl that saves the world?

Who lived in a magical land.

Who o o o o a!

Who once thundered by the millions

Who pushed the 7 year old off the pony?

Who sent the congrats gift?

Who wants to see the new t shirt design?

Who was I to walk among giants?

Who was it?

Who will lead sebben & sebben worldwide.

Who, her? Yes.

Who? Her? Yes.

Who's the girl that saves the world?

Who's the one they came to see?

Whoa dee oh dee oh dee oh!

Whoa ho, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're taking pre orders?

Whoa! Hey!

Whoa. Oh, oh!

Whoo, my, my.

Whoo! Burn!

Whoo! Hup!

Whoops! You got phished.

Why are we stuck togeth... oh, magnetic pen.

Why are you wearing a gopro?

Why birdgirl, you ask?

Why didn't anyone tell me? [ slurps ]

Why didn't someone tell me "staff changes" means "layoffs"?

Why didn't you just tell me you had a sex tape?

Why do the plans say two story building?

Why don't I have to sign everything you sign?

Why don't we go find her right now?

Why don't you just find out.

Why don't you need backup?

Why here? Why me, why here, why now?

Why isn't this working? Did you open it?

Why not a daughter?

Why would you do that?

Will always honor its past.

Will never cross my lips again.

Will you be my Share Mate, Judy?

Wings of fire, you need that girl.

With a 10 year old girl.

With benefits.

With my name on it is disintegrating.

With the calypsis system,

With you before ending it us.

Within arm's reach of everyone.

Without you and your dial.

Woman: [ Rapping ] ♪ Who is the girl that saves the world? ♪

Woman: It's 3:00 a.M., sir.

Woman: So that's why he didn't text me back.

Women people, right?

Worked out enough to get the ceo's approval.

Working late again, huh? Yeah.

Would it be so bad if we hired a night assistant?

Would you ever?

Wouldn't that be the shit?

Wow, my dad sort of sucked as a dad.

Wow, that sounds nice.

Wow! I thought you were as close as you could get,

Wow! I would love to.

Y e s. Y e s.

Y you can just say you find me repulsive.

Y Your, um

Yabada doo boo boo!

Yeah, 9:00.

Yeah, he seems to be an upper level floater.

Yeah, I said it birdgirl!

Yeah, kinda.

Yeah, sure. Why not?

Yeah, that's a no for me.

Yeah, that's what it's for.

Yeah, uh, we'll need a little more than that

Yeah, we just had sex.

Yeah, you do.

Yeah!

Yeah. I've got a thing.

Yeah. Looks like it's fucking pissed.

Yeah. When Birdgirl returns, as foretold by the prophecy,

Yep, Birdgirl's been our patron from the start.

Yep.

Yep. I mean, it doesn't go quite as far these days.

Yep. Kids used to go to school until Birdgirl told us

Yes, but you suck at taking care of yourself.

Yes, david was my one and only. I miss him horribly.

Yes, Dog With Bucket Hat, I've sent the wire transfer,

Yes, Dog With Bucket Hat, I've sent the wire transfer...

Yes, I did it!

Yes, I do.

Yes, I have a plan.

Yes, I know, along with everything else,

Yes, paul. Your father.

Yes, we can't... not... totally.

Yes, yes, it is.

Yes, you are, and I've got one last picture I need hung.

Yes, your refund's being processed.

Yes! I'm his daughter.

Yes?

Yes.

Yes. ...We offer money

Yes. And that's why I devoted my life

Yes. But will we prevail against it?

Yes. I knew it.

Yo, dudes, it's the mother[bleep] topple girls.

You [bleep] idiot.

You and me, beers later.

You and me, changing the world.

You and my dad built a town out of Baltimo.

You are about to have the best half hour of your life.

You ate so much stuffing.

You can drop the act. It's me.

You can go home now and get some rest.

You can move that 20% of Judy's stock right over to my account.

You can tell whomever you want about this us.

You can watch tomorrow.

You can't put that in a bowl.

You can't see her change into her costume!

You can't. Right, right, right.

You come in, pretend to hang a picture,

You decide which."

You did get his consent?

You didn't warn me. [ grunts ]

You do seem to be stretched a little thin.

You don't have to tell it to go.

You don't know anything about me.

You forfeit the stock.

You found a jar of it on your dad's desk,

You git!

You got nothing to apologize for.

You got to be kiddin' me.

You got to get me in her head.

You got to tickle me.

You guys already filled the hole in me

You guys are heroes.

You guys eat Baltimo, don't you?

You guys, come to my office immediately.

You guys.

You have my word. I'll keep your memory safe.

You have never shared?

You have no online presence.

You have to break a few necks

You know cassie always shuts that door when she gets home.

You know how they are about phones.

You know not when you may be summoned, but...

You know the board's holding 20% of your stock.

You know the thing... elbow grab,

You know what actually terrifies me?

You know where to find me.

You know, fear's a useful survival response, Judy.

You know, I feel like I can tell you anything.

You know, I'm thinking we should play honest assessment.

You know, mer, I didn't even get to tell him that I love him.

You know, we could just send this out Monday,

You know, we got to get you one of these.

You leave my office, and I pretend this never happened.

You like old fashioned soda. Wasn't rocket science.

You like the smell of library books.

You like topple popple, do you?

You look worse since you lost weight,

You m mental l little people!

You make me feel whole. And as a token of appreciation,

You mean it?

You might have led with this, given everything in a town

You must warn them not to awaken it.

You need any help in there?

You need help. You're going to die.

You need to allow for the possibility

You need to find your girl.

You need to fix it. Let me just turn you around.

You never leave a sister electrician behind!

You okay?

You overrode their data encryption settings!

You pay cash for things just so someone will touch you.

You remembered, but you didn't tell anyone at work.

You say "faux" instead of "fuh."

You see where I'm going with this?

You see?

You send it to the press...

You should meet Charlie. In fact, we both should.

You shouldn't be out.

You shouldn't have stuck your nose in.

You shut up.

You take normal business hours, 6:00 a.M. To 6:00 p.M.,

You two use the hate posts

You two used to be friends,

You want to do this? Go ahead.

You wear underwire bras, too?

You were controlling yourself the whole time.

You were my team.

You were so concerned about my secret identity,

You were the first human to ingest it.

You win. Is that what you want to hear? You win?

You, keep it in the office.

You! [ groaning ] okay.

You'll never have to [grunt] work a leg [grunts]

You'll see at the launch party.

You're 10, [bleep] it. You know this stuff.

You're a sexy chicken.

You're a...Woman?

You're actually kind of growing into this.

You're all human waste!

You're all human waste! Human waste.

You're an awful person.

You're at the park.

You're being held back by your company.

You're both drunk.

You're drunk, dad.

You're firing me?

You're free to go.

You're giving me no choice.

You're gonna help fix it.

You're good! Got to go.

You're here to announce that e mail thing.

You're holding something back.

You're in my personal space

You're just like your father.

You're just too drunk to notice.

You're kidding, right?

You're kind of crazy.

You're leaving $400 in my guitar case.

You're lonely.

You're my kryptonite.

You're not even trying. Blee ooh oop.

You're not supposed to stand on the table.

You're on your own, Jude.

You're right.

You're right. I am a victim.

You're the best. I'm the best.

You're the biggest disappointment of my life!

You're the ceo. Do it. Really?

You're the one in the costume.

You're up. I can't turn another turn.

You're welcome!

You're welcome. Um, why is a picture of my hooha trending?

You're working too much.

You're wrong about Etan.

You've got five minutes.

You've got this.

You've got to get on board with this bear thing.

You've made zero impression on anybody, anywhere, ever.

Young lady, you shouldn't be saying "the shit"

Your a a a ass could be rounder for my taste.

Your building is alive! Get out now!

Your chest has 3 1/2 months' growth,

Your cot's waiting for you.

Your dad designed that can on a cocktail napkin.

Your dad slept with her, too.

Your dress is smoking.

Your father made a project of me me,

Your father was going to be the bridge

Your favorite color is blue.

Your first week as C.E.O.

Your magnetic pen, ma'am?

Your pen zapped my Pro!

Your secrets are in my tummy.

Yuri, charlie.

Zip it up, back there! Zip it!

Zip it. Oh.

1,000 times?

1,014.

3,216 feet.

5?! Okay!

24.

40 pounds of dry aged wagyu beef.

70%?!

87 additional floors, most without a permit.

100% Baltimo.

700%.

1997, we designed a phone, and it was good.

2015, of course,

"We"? Yes.

Aah! Whee!

Deal! Oh.

Everyone out, now! Yep.

Hup! Hey, go! Whoop!

Hyah! Hoop!

It was. Gross.

Judy? Aah!

People will be impressed. How impressed?

Whoo! Shake.

Yeah! Whoo!

Ahhhhh! And that's two.

Clear! Bring by the lee!

Fellas. Oh, God!

Gillian! Gillian!

Glenda! Anyone else pitted out?

Hey, Mer. Hypothetical for you.

Hup! Whoop! Next! Hey!

Speech, speech! ...Ceo, and honorary hog...

We don't care. Okay.

Well, "she." Shut up, Paul.

What? What?

Whew! [ Chuckles ] Glenda!

Yeah, she's dead. Glenda go bye bye.

...And birdcat!

...best?

...Check your wi fi.

...hundreds of disgruntled, miserable employees

...Is dead.

...Judy ken sebben!

...of Judy's stock right...

...picture.

...Strongarm... What is she doing?

...The city as...

...The feels... Yes.

...the more I hated him.

...Your waste is heat molded into fertilizer

'Cause the last thing we need is more shitty press.

"Dear Meredith, I am dead now

"Dearest Judy, you're the only one who ever believed in me...

"don't touch the can.

"get your hand around it."

"good evening, riders.

"I wonder who leads this company."

"if you need anything, press and talk.

"no, not same!"

"once upon a time."

"To be opened 25 years following the event of my death."

"weird sexual," angry weird," "angry sexual," and "funny."

"what have you done for me lately?"

"You'd."

[ "jesu, joy of man's desiring" plays ]

[ Alarm blaring ]

[ alarm clock ringing ] ♪ I will paint a picture ♪

[ Announcer voice ] Delicious, nutritious Baltimilk.

[ Applause ]

[ applause ]

[ applause ] [ snoring ]

[ Arm rattles, warbles ]

[ Arms rattling, warbling ]

[ as benjy ] [ clears throat ] [ gasps ]

[ as benjy ] judy ken sebben's office.

[ as benjy ] no, there is no birdgirl.

[ As Birdgirl ] It's Balterrific.

[ As Birdgirl, echoing ] Charlie!

[ audience "ohhs" ] we live in amazing times.

[ audience groans ]

[ audience groans ] sorry about that.

[ ax sc****s, whips ]

[ Babbling ]

[ baby crying ]

[ Bagpipes playing ]

[ beep, explosion ]

[ bell dings ]

[ bell ringing ]

[ belt rattling, zipper opens ]

[ Birds chirping ]

[ birds chirping ]

[ Body thuds ]

[ bomb beeping, explosion ]

[ bookcase creaking ]

[ breathing heavily ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ british accent ] got it.

[ british accent ] I'm a tea drinker, floris!

[ british accent ] I'm judy's assistant!

[ british accent ] no, you shut up!

[ british accent ] no! I'm gingerfer.

[ british accent ] you don't run from me, missy!

[ british accent ] you, too, gillian.

[ buffer whirring ] and our first uh...

[ Building growling ]

[ Building growls ]

[ bulldozer beeping ] aah!

[ Burping, gagging ]

[ button clicking rapidly ]

[ button clicks ] she's aware

[ buzzer ]

[ buzzer ] whoa.

[ Buzzer, door opens, creaks ]

[ Calculator rattles, warbles ]

[ Calliope plays ]

[ calypsis creaking ]

[ calypsis gurgling ]

[ calypsis wheels screech ]

[ calypsis whirring ]

[ calypsis whirring ] ow!

[ can opener whirring ]

[ Car alarm chirping ]

[ car alarm wailing ] you're on my foot.

[ cat meows ]

[ Cat meows ]

[ cat meows ] [ grunts ]

[ cat purring ]

[ cat screeches ] ow!

[ cat yowls ] oh, nice cat.

[ cellphone beeps ] it's dead.

[ cellphone beeps ] mer, gillian,

[ cellphone beeps ] release whatever you want.

[ cellphone beeps, ringtone stops ]

[ cellphone chimes ]

[ cellphone clicking, chimes ]

[ cellphone dialing ] yuri: Hello?

[ cellphone ringing ]

[ cellphone rings ]

[ cellphone rings, beeps ] balls: Judy,

[ Cellphone vibrates, rings, Keypad beeps ]

[ Chair creaks ]

[ cheering ]

[ cheering and applause ]

[ cheers and applause ]

[ choir singing ]

[ chuckles ]

[ chuckles ] and when you say house, you mean

[ chuckles ] is it more important

[ Chuckles ] It's the same with Bird Team,

[ chuckles ] not really.

[ chuckles ] people love the can.

[ chuckles ] phil loved this guy.

[ Chuckles ] Right?

[ Chuckles ] Take a right.

[ chuckles ] this guy is good.

[ chuckles ] what's going on with you two?

[ chuckles ] yeah.

[ chuckles ] you're a genius.

[ Chuckles ] Yuck, right?

[ Chuckling ] I'm alive, goddamn it.

[ classical music plays ]

[ clatter ]

[ clattering ]

[ Clears throat ]

[ clears throat ]

[ clears throat ] everybody get in here.

[ Clicking ]

[ Clicking, buzzer ]

[ Computer beeps ]

[ Computer beeps, warbles ]

[ Computer chimes ]

[ computer chimes ] it's mail time!

[ computer warbles ]

[ coughing ] energy.

[ coughs ]

[ Coughs ]

[ country music playing ]

[ country music plays ]

[ cracking ]

[ Crackling ]

[ Crashes ]

[ Creaking ]

[ crowd cheer ]

[ Dam rumbling ]

[ deep voice ] I'm all judy's assistants!

[ desk thuds ] slam!

[ desk wheels screech ] aah!

[ door closes ]

[ Door closes ]

[ door creaks open ]

[ door slams ]

[ doorbell rings "the jetsons" theme ]

[ doorknob rattling ]

[ doors whirring ]

[ Dramatic music playing ]

[ dramatic music plays ]

[ Dramatically ] Your favorite color...is blue.

[ Drums beat, cymbal clashes ]

[ Echoing ] Jude, Jude, wake up.

[ Eerie music plays ]

[ eerie music plays, heart beating ]

[ electricity crackling ]

[ electricity crackling, dog barking in distance ]

[ Electricity humming ]

[ Electricity surging ]

[ Electricity zapping ]

[ Electronic beeping ]

[ Electronic beeping, whirring ]

[ Electronic whirring ]

[ elevator bell dings ]

[ elevator bell dings ] [ clears throat ]

[ elevator bell dings ] dee dee doo.

[ elevator bell dings ] you can do this, judy.

[ elevator door dings ]

[ engine idling ]

[ engine revs, tires squeal ]

[ Engine revving ]

[ engine revving ]

[ Engine whirring, buttons clicking ]

[ Envelope rips ]

[ fans cheering ]

[ Farts ]

[ Fax machine whirring ]

[ foreskin squeaks, snaps ]

[ gagging ]

[ Gasping ]

[ Gasps ]

[ gasps ]

[ gasps ] [ door buzzes ]

[ Gasps ] I am somebody's daughter, you pig.

[ Gasps ] I may be of some help.

[ Gasps ] I'm alive.

[ gasps ] it's back!

[ gasps ] maybe I'll get a job, too.

[ gasps ] my first e mail. ♪ ah ba dum bum bum

[ gasps ] my second e mail. ♪ ah ba dum bum bum

[ Gasps ] Oh, are you boning Brian?

[ gasps ] risking country music star caleb lee hutchinson?

[ Gasps ] She has returned! She has returned!

[ gasps ] that was unexpected.

[ Gasps ] You don't like it?

[ gasps ] you knew my dad?

[ glass shatters ]

[ glass shatters ] get her off me!

[ gopro whining ]

[ Groaning ]

[ groaning ] it's been five minutes. Help!

[ groaning, gags ]

[ Groans ]

[ groans ]

[ Groans ] Yeah, see, that isn't one.

[ grunting ]

[ Grunting ]

[ grunting ]

[ Grunting ]

[ grunting ]

[ grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

[ grunts ]

[ grunts ] [ gadget gun cocks ]

[ grunts ] [ gasps ] aaaaaah!

[ grunts ] birdgirl!

[ grunts ] hyah! [ normal voice ] oh, my

[ grunts ] massage guy, you're up!

[ grunts ] ow!

[ guitar plays softly ]

[ guitar plays softly ] [ yawning ] make sure I sign those contracts tomorrow

[ gun cocks ] who are you?

[ Gunfire ]

[ gunfire in distance ]

[ Gunshot ]

[ gunshots ]

[ gurgles, gasps ]

[ Handle whirs ]

[ Hanger rattles ]

[ heart beating ]

[ Helicopter blades rattle, warble ]

[ Helicopter blades whirring ]

[ Helicopter crashes ]

[ Heroic music plays ]

[ high pitched groaning ]

[ Hisses ]

[ horn honks ]

[ horn honks, tires screech ]

[ Horn honks, tires screech ]

[ Horns honking ]

[ humming ]

[ humming ] [ dye pack beeping ]

[ Imitates fanfare ] Birdgirl!

[ imitates fanfare ] birdgirl!

[ imitating fanfare ] birdgirl!

[ Imitating phone ringing ]

[ indistinct conversation, telephone rings in distance ]

[ indistinct conversations ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ indistinct conversations ]

[ Indistinct shouting ]

[ Indistinct voice ]

[ inhales deeply, exhales sharply ]

[ Junk pouch warbles, eerie note plays ]

[ keyboard clacking ]

[ keyboard clacking ] sebben & sebben

[ keys clack ]

[ Keys clacking ]

[ keys clacking, mouse clicking ]

[ Knock on door ]

[ Lag bolt rattles, warbles ]

[ Laughing ]

[ laughing ] I mean, can I fly now?

[ laughing evilly ]

[ laughing maniacally ]

[ laughs ]

[ Laughs ]

[ laughs ]

[ Laughs ] I'm a psyc

[ laughs ] let's just put her in a coma.

[ laughter ]

[ leash rattles ]

[ light switch clicks ]

[ light switch clicks off, door closes ]

[ light switch clicks off, doorknob rattling ]

[ lighter clinks ]

[ Machinery whirring ]

[ man grunting ]

[ man laughs ]

[ man snoring ]

[ men chuckling ] [ grunting ]

[ meowing angrily ]

[ meows ]

[ meows ] how'd that cat get in here?

[ Metal clangs ]

[ metal snaps ] aah!

[ Mid tempo jazz music plays ]

[ Mid tempo music plays ]

[ mindtake dial wailing ]

[ Moans ]

[ mouse clicks ]

[ mouse clicks, up tempo music plays ]

[ muffled groaning ]

[ munching ]

[ music fades ]

[ music stops ]

[ normal voice ] benjy, you're so annoying.

[ normal voice ] fired?!

[ normal voice ] I'm the keeper of the secret!

[ normal voice ] judy ken sebben's office.

[ normal voice ] make me.

[ normal voice ] nice job, gennifer.

[ normal voice ] no, you don't run

[ normal voice ] or me! [ as benjy ] or me!

[ normal voice ] probably what mer said.

[ normal voice ] what happened?

[ normal voice ] you're almost as good as me.

[ panting ]

[ paper tears ]

[ Pencil sharpener rattles ]

[ Pencil sharpener rattles, warbles ]

[ Pickax clinks ]

[ Plaster thuds ]

[ plastic bag rustling ]

[ plates clattering ] ms. Birdgirl?

[ police radio chatter ]

[ pop! ]

[ purring ]

[ purrs ]

[ radio chatter ]

[ Rapid footsteps, door closes ]

[ rapping ] ♪ who is the girl that saves the world? ♪

[ Rapping ] ♪ Who is the girl that saves the world? ♪

[ rapping ] ♪ who is the girl that saves the world? ♪

[ Rapping ] Who is the girl that saves the world? ♪

[ Rattling ]

[ Rattling, creaking ]

[ ringtone plays ] ugh.

[ rock music plays ]

[ rope gun fires ]

[ rope gun fires ] whoa!

[ rope gun snaps ] aaah!

[ Rope snaps, whips ]

[ Rumbling ]

[ Rumbling stops ]

[ Saw buzzing ]

[ Scoffs ] Fine, I'll go.

[ scoffs ] I'm not a truck backing up. It's not "blee ooh oop."

[ Scoffs ] What would you call it?

[ Scoffs ] You've got to drill into my soul

[ screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

[ screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

[ screaming ]

[ Screams ]

[ screams ]

[ Shattering]

[ Shouting stops ]

[ sighing ] ohh.

[ sighs ]

[ sighs ] gillian, you've been a big ally in this,

[ sighs ] here we go.

[ sighs ] it's over. Topple is poppled.

[ Sighs ] Who is it?

[ singing indistinctly ]

[ singing operatically ]

[ singsong voice ] I need those ridiculous hours.

[ Singsong voice ] It's happening.

[ sir peter pants meows ] I'm joking!

[ sir peter pants shrieks ] [ screams ]

[ siren chirps ]

[ siren wailing ] [ gasps ]

[ siren wails in distance ]

[ Sirens wailing ]

[ Slow clapping ]

[ slurps ]

[ smoke detector beeping ]

[ sniffing ] burnt mushrooms.

[ sniffing ] I hate that guy.

[ sniffing ] some box wine.

[ Sniffing ] That's not Masala.

[ sniffles ]

[ soft music plays ]

[ soft music plays, elevator bell dings ]

[ speaks indistinctly ]

[ Spool thudding ]

[ Squeaky voice ] Young lady.

[ Stapler rattles ]

[ Stapler rattles, warbles ]

[ static hissing ] we got another one.

[ Switches clicking ]

[ Tape rattles, warbles ]

[ Telephone ringing ]

[ telephone rings ]

[ Telephone rings ]

[ telephone rings ] birdvan phone.

[ Telephones ringing ]

[ thinking ] I was made for this.

[ thinking ] out there,

[ thud ]

[ Thud ]

[ Thudding ]

[ Thunder crashing ]

[ tires screech ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ tires screech ]

[ tires screech ] give me my arms back, mer.

[ tires screech, crash ]

[ Train whistle blows ]

[ up tempo jazz plays ]

[ up tempo music play ]

[ Up tempo music playing ]

[ Up tempo music plays ]

[ up tempo music plays ]

[ van door opens ]

[ Van door opens ]

[ Vocalizing ]

[ Voice breaking ] I can't.

[ Voice breaking ] It's turned me into a...psychopath!

[ Voice breaking ] Not the old lady.

[ vomiting ]

[ Warbles ]

[ Warbling ]

[ water draining ] I need to talk to judy, so I'm going in.

[ water running ]

[ Water splashes ]

[ Weakly ] It's Taylor McGillicuddy.

[ Weakly ] Useful survival response?

[ whirring resumes ]

[ whirring stops ]

[ whispering ] does meredith know?

[ whispering indistinctly ] we've got a deal.

[ Whooshes ]

[ Whooshing ]

[ wristwatch beeping ] finally, a female ceo. It's time.

[ yawns ] energy.

[bleep]

[bleep] it!

[bleep] it! We're all at risk!

[bleep] journaling!

[groaning] as long as they keep their hands...

[groaning] I had a whole spiel thinking you'd be a guy.

♪ ah ba dum bum bum

♪ and I've got no one to dry my tears ♪

♪ ba ba dum

♪ birdgirl!

♪ birdgirl! ♪

♪ Birdgirl! Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ hey [ imitates fanfare ]

♪ hey ♪ [ imitates fanfare ]

♪ hey, birdgirl!

♪ hey, birdgirl! ♪

♪ hey, who's the girl that saves the world? ♪

♪ hey!

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ hey! ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ hey! Birdgirl!

♪ Hey! Birdgirl! ♪

♪ hey! Hey!

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ I hear a voice crying out ♪

♪ in my... ♪

♪ Ultra fierce and so unique ♪

♪ ultra fierce and so unique ♪

♪ unlock the door ♪ ♪ and let it be ♪

♪ unlock the door ♪ ♪ and set it free ♪

♪ unlock the door and follow... ♪

♪ when I jump inside and walk on... ♪

♪ when I'm alone ♪

♪ who's the girl that saves the world? ♪

♪ who's the one they came to see? ♪

♪ Who's the one they came to see? ♪

♪ Who's the one they can't defeat? ♪

♪ who's the one they can't defeat? ♪

♪ wings of fire, unique like pearls ♪

♪ Wings of fire, unique like pearls ♪

♪ wins a fight, unique like pearls ♪

♪♪

♪hey!

Birdgirl (2021) - Season 1
Birdgirl is a new animated television show that premiered in 2021. It serves as a spin-off and continuation of the popular Adult Swim series Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law, which aired from 2000 to 2007. The show follows the adventures of Judy Ken Sebben, known as Birdgirl, who is Harvey Birdman's quirky and ambitious daughter. After her father's retirement, Judy takes over his law firm and transforms it into Sebben and Sebben, where she put her own superhero spin on practicing law. Voicing the titular character of Birdgirl is the talented Paget Brewster, known for her roles in shows like Criminal Minds and Community. Brewster brings her distinctive voice and comedic timing to the enthusiastic and offbeat superhero. The rest of the voice cast features an array of talented actors and comedians who bring to life the eccentric characters of Birdgirl's world. Jason Mantzoukas, who is widely recognized for his hilarious roles in Parks and Recreation and The Good Place, lends his voice to Birdgirl's loyal and lovable assistant, Black Vulcan. Tony Hale, famous for playing Buster Bluth in Arrested Development and Gary Walsh in Veep, voices the flamboyantly eccentric Phil Ken Sebben, whom Birdgirl frequently clashes with. Other notable voice actors in the show include Kether Donohue as Birdgirl's best friend Meredith and Rob Delaney as her arch-nemesis Mentok the Mind-Taker. Birdgirl's first season is filled with action-packed adventures and legal predicaments that Judy must navigate in her own unique way. From defending animal rights to facing off against supervillains, each episode is filled with humor, wit, and unexpected twists. The show seamlessly blends the superhero genre with legal comedy, resulting in a refreshing and entertaining viewing experience. For fans who can't get enough of Birdgirl and her adventures, the sounds and music from the show are available for playback and download. Whether it's the catchy theme song that gets stuck in your head or the sound effects that add an extra layer of excitement to the action, listeners can enjoy the audio experience of Birdgirl anytime, anywhere. Birdgirl not only appeals to fans of the original Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law series but also stands on its own as a hilarious and clever animated show. With its talented voice cast, fantastic storytelling, and unique blend of genres, Birdgirl offers a fresh take on the superhero genre. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to join Birdgirl on her wild and wacky adventures as she balances her superpowers with the challenges of being a lawyer.
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Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law Season 2 Birdgirl (2021) Season 2