The World According to Garp Edit

A bit thin.

A flag for the Fourth of July.

A little bit more over. There we are. I've got you. I'm not gonna let go.

A man killed her. They're very upset.

A real baby.

A splinter of steel had lodged in his brain...

About what?

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

All of our lives.

All real writers imagine.

All right, Duncan. This is Technical Sergeant Garp.

All right, first thing is...

All right, kids, fun's over.

All right, same thing. Bottom man down. Same man down.

All right? I'm not gonna let go. You're going to be all right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Fine.

And all he could say was his name, "Garp."

And being a family man.

And close to the supermarket where I'll be shopping.

And fling his vile blade.

And help her heal herself, before it's too late for both of you.

And I am gone, gone, gone. Love, Ruth."

And I bet...

And I do.

And I've been talking to Helen.

And if you're very lucky, you'll have many, many friends...

And many, many memories.

And mine is one!

And Mom's publisher said that he'll publish my first novel too.

And most of the falls.

And my firm will even finance the mortgage.

And my husband putters around the house.

And never even notice that this is as beautiful as life gets.

And now we are homeless.

And only if it's clean.

And reminds me why I'm doing this. So you can keep it up.

And see the arc of your life. It's all connected.

And she's only running for governor. Goodbye, darling.

And short stories.

And since I miss her terribly, I want to be around...

And some coffee.

And stand in front of a mirror and look at myself for hours.

And stop getting other women to hurt themselves.

And the same nobodies are gonna line up not to buy that one too.

And the scum of the earth.

And the wounded and maimed were all asleep, I went to him.

And then he died.

And then there's snow falling in my eye.

And therefore...

And they aren't going to allow any men.

And they won't let me adopt.

And we now can speak for ourselves...

And we're also out of syrup.

And you can think about them.

And you just keep pouring salt on the wounds.

And you tell that wimp...

And you write too. Isn't that nice?

And your mother tries to nurse them back to health.

And, uh...

Anonymity promotes honesty. Thank you.

Anybody can say "Mama," Duncan. Come on, quit torturing me.

Anyway, the war was on.

Anyway...

Apache, Helen. Not even Shakespeare or Dickens...

Are you gonna go to sleep or you gonna stay up and think your weird thoughts?

Are you okay?

Are you really 18?

Arp!

As many people as possible who feel the same way as I do.

As soon as possible.

At least he's better off than...

At least the dog's got good taste, doesn't he?

Be a man, Michael.

Be careful of the undertow!

Because he comes down the chimney.

Because of a pot roast. Isn't that a pity?

Because of what happened to a little girl named Ellen James.

Because she taught us how.

Because they're guys.

Because they're ugly.

Because we all loved her.

Because you're too young. I've looked into them all.

Behind him, Marcus.

Being a father.

Being a husband and a father. Oh, I really adore it.

Black Snow.

Bonkers, give me that paper, you hairy son of a bitch!

Bonkers, you chickenshit! If I were a dog, you'd be dead!

Bonkers.

Bonkie, come on, now. Give me the paper.

Bonkie! Are you all right, big boy?

Bosworth.

Bosworth. A word of warning, you filth monger.

Boy, they take advantage of her.

Boy, you are something, Walt.

Bring him down.

Bring him into the infirmary.

Bring that along, will you? We can return it.

But God or nature or whatever... Well, you know, you need a man.

But God, this is self mutilation. Suppose, next time there's a ****...

But has to feel responsible for women whacking their tongues off in her name.

But he can't feel them. He yearns to feel.

But he finally feels life as he's flying into the arms of death.

But he's a daddy, and she's a mommy.

But her words have been passed on to each one of us.

But I really feel the need to look at them.

But I thought she was a fine woman.

But I'm a natural at only two things:

But I'm afraid you can't go.

But it is not fiction. It's a long, merciless attack.

But now that voice...

But right now, I want to share it with as many people as I can.

But she can't come along with us. No. Absolutely not.

But since I can't have that...

But then you've got to go.

But to have it bitten off...

But you're all I've got. I broke up with Marge.

But your mother has written a political manifesto.

By a madman's bullet.

Bye bye.

Bye, darlings.

Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.

Bye, Uncle John.

Can I go in?

Can I go swimming?

Can I help you?

Can you speak?

Catches you.

Coaching.

Come down, Stephen.

Come down.

Come here.

Come home.

Come in.

Come on in here.

Come on in. I'll take you up to your room.

Come on upstairs. I'll show you your rooms.

Come on, Dad! Let's go!

Come on, Danny, we got them.

Come on, Duncan. Say "Dada."

Come on, Elmer.

Come on, family man.

Come on, Garp.

Come on, Martin. Ride him! Ride!

Come on, Pooh. Time for lunch.

Come on! Come on!

Come on.

Come on. Don't moan if you want to eat dinner.

Come on. Good reversal there. Get off your back.

Come on. Let's go. Weak side.

Crazy dyke blindsided me.

Cushie.

Cushie. Cushie!

Cushion his fall!

Cute little bugger, isn't he?

Dada's dead. He got killed.

Damn it.

Damn you, Duncan. Leave him alone.

Death's like that.

Defend our board, come on.

Did he take out the stitches?

Did you know he had a beautiful tenor voice?

Did you seduce that babysitter?

Did you see the doctor?

Dirty 30?

Dirty 30.

Do you get any physical enjoyment from it?

Do you miss writing?

Do you realize how good he is?

Do you think you're playing doctor's office with Cushie?

Do you understand? It's a small town.

Do you want her like you want Helen? Is it the same kind of want?

Do you want her?

Does it degrade you to have my son want you in that way?

Don't know.

Don't say that.

Don't touch me! Don't touch me!

Don't you dare say "sperm" in this house.

Down. Set. Hut, hut, hut.

Duncan and Walt are crazy about you.

Duncan did the eyebrows...

Duncan, a kiss for Grandma?

Duncan.

Eighteen?

Eighteen.

Eighteen.

Ellen James wrote them a letter begging them to disband...

Ernie, congratulations. You beat us on the takedowns.

Even when they're healthy, they're sick with lust.

Ever since I began running for governor of New Hampshire...

Every bookstore in the U.S.

Every time we come here, there are more people.

Everybody knows that one... Hey!

Everybody thought he died, but he didn't die.

Everyone here has something missing or some wound that won't heal.

Everyone, please sit down. Please.

Everything is fine. Barbara, it's all right.

Everything will be fine.

Everything, Helen.

Except death.

Find out if that's the son of a bitch's first or last name.

Fine. Well, good night, then, Bosworth.

Five seconds! Behind him.

Five. Four. Three. Two.

For any occasion.

For both of us to look at them.

For Christmas, I want a glass eye like one of those crystal balls...

For medical reasons I couldn't understand...

Forty three, 29. Forty three, 29.

Garp just frightened Alice for a bit, but she's fine.

Garp wants to take over.

Garp wasn't really concentrating in the first period.

Garp, are you up there? Jenny Fields, are you up there?

Garp, I'm here.

Garp, what are you doing in here?

Garp!

Garp! Garp.

Garp! Garp. How lovely to see you.

Garp! You've no right to write this!

Garp?

Garp?

Garp?

Garp?

Garp?

Garp?

Garp?

Garp?

Garp?

Garp?

Garp.

Garp.

Garp.

Garp.

Garp.

Garp.

Garp. Careful of the undertow.

Garp. Garp!

Get a doctor! Get an ambulance!

Get him, Bosworth.

Get him, Garp!

Get him, Helen. Stay tight with him.

Get him! Come on! Go!

Get in the goddamn back.

Get in there!

Get off me! What are you doing?

Get off your back, Virgil.

Get someone! Quickly!

Get the mattresses close together next to the building so he can fall on them.

Get your mattresses! Put your mattresses under!

Give and go, guys. Move it up.

Give me the keys.

Give me your car keys, and I'll get in the car for a minute.

Go away.

Go back to what you were doing before.

Go to your mother. She's a nurse. She can take care of it.

Go, Martin. Come on!

Go!

God, you're one of them. Listen.

Good night, Garp!

Good night.

Good night.

Good night. Thank you so much.

Goodbye, Duncan.

Goodbye, sweetheart.

Got you.

Gradual school?

Has been silenced...

Has been translated into Apache.

Have a heartbreak in Manhattan.

Have at last found one in Jenny Fields!

Having a life.

Having some trouble?

He also had a constant erection.

He beat you on your feet. He got all the takedowns.

He can do wonders when he's wearing his magic gloves.

He can even hold off death with his magic gloves, but he can't feel life.

He deteriorated steadily.

He did die.

He didn't even know we were married.

He ejaculated, and as a result, I've got a wonderful baby.

He never made any money. He worked as a clerk to support his family.

He said, "Good."

He sure did. Dead and gone.

He touched me. He touched me.

He was 21 when he entered the Feis Ceoil in Dublin.

He was asleep. But his erection was there, as always.

He was dying. I wanted a child.

He was flat on his back in a hospital.

He was runner up in the tenor category.

He woke up then.

He's bright enough, he's just...

He's dead already.

He's just...

He's one of my gradual students.

He's under the house, and he won't come out!

He's young, he's handsome.

Heal yourself, damn it.

Hel...

Helen Holm.

Helen, do you know that this is going to be published in The Review?

Helen!

Helen!

Helen!

Helen! Helen!

Helen! We haven't got much time.

Helen?

Helen.

Helen. My short story!

Hello again.

Hello, Duncan.

Hello, Garp?

Hello, how nice to see you again.

Hello?

Hello.

Hello.

Hello. Look, this is a residential neighborhood.

Help me get her in the car.

Help, help, help.

Help! Help!

Here.

Here. Take mine.

Hey, everybody inside. Get the mattresses.

Hey, Garp, how are you doing?

Hey, look, it's all right with me if your mother wants to buy me for you.

Hey, you! Wait! Wait!

Hey, you. Dildo.

Hey!

Hey! Hey, you, stop!

Hi, Jenny.

Hi, my name's T.S. Garp.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

His erections continued, however, quite unabated.

His novel was just published, Procrastination by T.S. Garp.

His writing is nowhere near as good as yours.

Hiya, teacher.

Hold him down. Ride him. Good!

Home? What home? We're going to go to a movie.

Honey, the chances of another plane hitting this house are astronomical.

Hope I'm not disturbing you, running up and down here.

How about a hug for Grandma?

How about that?

How are they?

How do you feel to be wanted in that way?

How old are you, Granny?

How old are you?

How we met. All that.

How you got from there to here.

How young? Seventeen?

How's the basketball team, coach?

How's your fellow in New York working out?

I always wanted a child.

I am Jenny Fields and...

I am known as the bastard son of Jenny Fields.

I came as soon as I could after your letter.

I can live in the present and think about the past.

I can see that.

I can spot it a mile away. He's lusting after your daughter.

I can talk to you because you're past that.

I can't. I just can't.

I could have blocked the shot. I would have done it.

I cut off my prick and wear it around my neck.

I did a fine thing, son, having you.

I did.

I didn't know I loved them so much until I became a woman.

I didn't wanna marry. I wanted a baby.

I do too.

I do. I really, really do.

I don't know about Jenny, but I'm getting hate mail for publishing it.

I don't know where she is.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. From what I saw of her...

I don't know. I never saw him standing up.

I don't know. It's probably nothing.

I don't know. Who do you think she's talking to?

I don't mean just her sex parts.

I don't suppose you bothered to get married.

I don't think I can drive the fucking car.

I don't want them anymore.

I don't want your names on these.

I don't. I really don't.

I even died and lived to tell about it.

I feel horrible without all of you here.

I got a good idea too. Why not cut off your tits?

I got on top of him, and he squirted it in me.

I got you, I got you, I got you.

I gotta cook. I gotta clean. Gotta cry.

I grieve because I loved her.

I grieve...

I guess I'd better give you something to write about, huh?

I guess Randy needs me.

I hate to use a corny line like this, but haven't I seen you before?

I hated crowds.

I have a headache. Oh, my head. I have a headache. Not tonight.

I have just read in TIME magazine...

I have this terrible headache.

I have to get home now. You've been very kind.

I invited him over to meet you.

I just can't see you right now...

I just did.

I just feel happy that I noticed. I had a beautiful life today.

I just want them to stop what they do. Ellen wants that too.

I just want to know why you've selected...

I just want to talk to you. Wait...

I keep buying them, and my husband keeps burning them.

I kept warning her to stay away from crowds.

I kept warning her. I did.

I knew it, I knew it. A goddamn soldier.

I know all about it.

I know what I want.

I know what sort of creeps hang around here.

I know what we can do later on.

I know, that's my book. I really don't...

I know. He just can't talk.

I know. I just want to sit and talk with you.

I left the number of the theater by the phone in case you have any trouble.

I like it.

I like that kid.

I like that. If that's what it means, I like it.

I like you calling me "teacher."

I love dreadful films.

I love it.

I mean, I had mine removed surgically...

I mean, I have talent as a writer...

I mean, in a dress.

I mean, is there something else that's satisfying?

I mean, there's nuclear power plants nearby.

I might want to write about myself.

I miss Walt.

I miss you too.

I miss you.

I missed you all, and I couldn't wait to get back.

I nearly fell asleep in his class today.

I never get to.

I never needed a father!

I only wish that...

I really miss you.

I really wish I'd known you when you were 5.

I remember flying.

I remember flying. I went flying with Daddy last week.

I removed my undergarments and climbed on top of him.

I saved her boy's life.

I saw them go to school. I saw you go to work.

I see a man with one arm.

I see a man with one leg.

I see.

I see. Bonkie bit Garp.

I spend a lot of time imagining things. Part of my training as a writer.

I think I'm developing female intuition.

I think it's a hideous thing that you've done.

I think so. Don't you?

I think we're still having fun.

I think you've been behaving very badly.

I thought so.

I thought we were going to a movie.

I thought writing is supposed to be the writing.

I threw you up and down.

I tip my head back like this and then like this...

I told you, he was a tail gunner in a plane.

I told you, the minute anyone found out about this, it was over.

I tried to look after her. I did.

I understand you'll be starting classes next semester.

I used to be Terribly Shy, but I changed.

I wanna be an artist, and I wanna know what you thought of it.

I wanna get the hell out of here. I wanna go to New York...

I wanna take him and give him a shot.

I want another child, Garp.

I want it published.

I want my mother alive again.

I want to finish reading this story.

I want to reverse that...

I wanted a baby, but I didn't want to share my life in order to have one.

I wanted a job, and I wanted to live alone.

I wanted to be a father myself.

I wanted to be here to deliver the baby.

I wanted to express an inner longing...

I warn you, you'll be sorry you wrote this.

I warned you about your book, Garp. The Ellen Jamesians are sending...

I was a nurse.

I was a tight end with the Philadelphia Eagles.

I will never, ever write anything that lovely.

I will not have her watching us. I am still a Catholic, believe it or not.

I wish I had friends who wrote dreadful novels, novellas...

I wish I had known you when you were 15.

I wish I was a girl. If I was a girl, I'd take off my clothes...

I wish we grew up together as kids.

I wish you wouldn't do this.

I wish you'd reconsider.

I wouldn't worry about that. Helen can take care of herself.

I wrote about my life. You're a part of it.

I... I didn't know you knew.

I'd help her if I knew how, or even where she is, but I can't find out.

I'll be able to say later on:

I'll be glad to pay you.

I'll be right back.

I'll check out this class for you next week.

I'll get you for this, Pritchard.

I'll have to sit in on that one and let you know.

I'll inoculate your jockstrap with bubonic plague.

I'll let him publish my book.

I'll read it.

I'll see you later.

I'll send you the book when I finish.

I'll stay up and think weird thoughts for a while.

I'll take that chance. You just publish it. Come on, Duncan.

I'll tell you honestly, son.

I'm 30.

I'm a hopeless romantic in a male chauvinist world.

I'm a nurse. I know. He died.

I'm a nurse. It's about time I got back to it.

I'm a trained nurse, and I plan to continue my work.

I'm also a friend.

I'm flying, Helen.

I'm flying.

I'm gaining on you, Helen.

I'm Garp.

I'm glad you're here.

I'm going on a cruise next Friday.

I'm going to come up and get you. Stay very still.

I'm going to mourn her death alone for the rest of my life.

I'm gonna die too. So will you.

I'm gonna start teaching again.

I'm gonna take up hang gliding.

I'm kind of glad you did too, Mom.

I'm leaving. I'm going to New York to become a real writer.

I'm not sure I understand it.

I'm not sure.

I'm off to Florida.

I'm proud to publish it.

I'm so sad.

I'm so, so sorry.

I'm stuck at this all girls school. I thought I'd visit here...

I'm stunned myself. It upsets people.

I'm sure you'll do splendidly.

I'm telling you now, either tie him up, make him behave...

I'm the one who's supposed to be crying.

I'm upset. She's my mother.

I'm very, very proud of Mom.

I've always wanted you to.

I've been Jenny long enough.

I've been the one who gets introduced at these rallies.

I've been thinking we ought to leave myself.

I've been watching you...

I've delayed the campaign long enough.

I've got a right to stay!

I've got to do everything around here.

I've got to go. It's late. Goodbye, darlings.

I've got to kiss our baby.

I've got to see you one more time. I'm coming over. I'll be right there.

I've got you, son, I've got you!

I've heard quite enough. Thank you so much for your time.

I've never heard anything... Good night.

If all the kids had trench mouth, would you want that too?

If anyone finds out about this, it's over.

If Daddy had Mommy, but he was a basketball player...

If he was in a plane, he was a flier.

If his children are crying, he just touches them, and they smile.

If his wife is sad, he just touches her with his gloves, and she's happy.

If I could write, I'd feel better.

If I could've had one by myself, I would have.

If I do it, will you leave then?

If I ever meet the son of a bitch, I'll kill him.

If I marry anybody, it'll be a writer. But I doubt I'll marry anybody.

If I'd known, I would've had some while I was still a man.

If I'd only seen him a second, just a split second sooner...

If I'd seen the man with the gun...

If it's a girl...

If we could have just one more time...

If you don't smile, you'll never get a husband.

If you expose my baby one more time to cheap shots like this...

If you're going to write about me and my personal life, wait till I'm dead.

In one way or another, we have all been suspect...

In the land.

In writing, it is writing. In publishing, it's timing.

Is Daddy writing again?

Is it a home?

Is that really true?

Is that what you think?

Is that what you want?

Is there any word in the English language as sexy as that?

Is this where you're keeping my Laurel?

Is your apartment clean?

Is your natural ability to piss people off.

Isn't this nice? Isn't this a beautiful street?

It can be a real adventure...

It didn't take long, and that once was all that was needed.

It doesn't mean we have to give in to them.

It isn't. He says I make him feel sexually ambiguous.

It just plain...

It really has been an adventure.

It seems that most of you know who I am.

It sounds like a flavor in a gay ice cream parlor.

It underlines the difference in our ages...

It used to be Terribly Sexy, but I changed.

It was cut off.

It was fine.

It was just one of those days, Helen. I saw the kids get up.

It was then that I knew that he wouldn't last much longer.

It'll do such a job on you, you'll have nothing left to even scratch.

It'll ruin your eyes, though.

It's a "she." And she's all right.

It's a big lesbian scene.

It's a combination.

It's a Gaelic musical competition.

It's a lovely place. Lovely.

It's a lower decker pecker checker.

It's a nightmare.

It's a very nasty bump.

It's about this little lame girl who runs across a beached blue whale...

It's all right, everyone.

It's all right, it's all right. Hold on. I'm going to put something on it.

It's an over the shoulder boulder holder.

It's awfully sad.

It's been pre disastered. We're gonna be safe here.

It's close to the college where I'll be teaching.

It's dangerous stuff, and dangerous stuff sells.

It's distracting, isn't it?

It's easy. Dada.

It's for Frank, my husband.

It's going to be held at 5:00 tomorrow in New York.

It's gonna be called A Child's Christmas With A Whale.

It's gonna be hard to avoid being touched, isn't it?

It's hard to protect her in a crowd.

It's her body. Why shouldn't she use it the way she wants to?

It's just for women.

It's just one of those raging hormonal attacks.

It's kind of nice, actually.

It's like a dream.

It's like being underwater.

It's like listening to a plant describe the motives of a mammal.

It's lust.

It's my first short story. I wrote it for you.

It's my mother you want.

It's nice in there. I know.

It's not as exciting, but...

It's not bad being old.

It's not that small a town.

It's our baby.

It's really nice, you know? To look back...

It's sickening. Every bookstore in New York looks like this.

It's stuck.

It's the saddest story I have ever read.

It's their right to do what they want.

It's time to die, Sir Scum. I'm going to revenge my uncle's death.

It's...

It's...

Jeffrey.

Jenny Fields!"

Jenny!

Jenny! In the war, which side was he on?

Jenny! Jenny! Jenny!

Jenny's doing all she can. We're taking the case to court.

Jenny's voice has been silenced.

Jump! Jump! Go ahead and jump!

Just don't "Rachel" me.

Just don't go in over your knees.

Just Ellen, and that's it.

Just Garp. That's the whole thing.

Just lay off me.

Just like our house. I work...

Just one of my gradual students.

Just plain caught him.

Just the ticket for young marrieds.

Keep an eye on your daughter, coach.

Kill them. Kill them.

Know what really gets my goat? That she wrote about me.

Laurel!

Laurel!

Laurel!

Laurel! You in there, you bitch?

Laurel's here, but we're not exactly keeping her.

Let go. Let...

Let's get him, Garp.

Let's go look at the kids.

Let's go look at the kids.

Let's go, boys. Everybody back inside.

Let's go, Chris. Set up on the base line, the base line.

Let's go, set up number four. Okay, number four.

Let's go.

Let's go. Ready?

Listen, goddamn it! If you don't get Laurel's ass out here, I'm gonna...

Listen.

Long Ranger died.

Look around you!

Loved it.

Make it easy on yourself. Don't be a baby, Duncan. Say "Dada."

Make it fly, Dad. Come on. We want to fly.

Make something up, then.

Mama.

Mama. Say "Mama."

Married? She never even met the son of a bitch.

Maybe he didn't die.

Maybe I could write there too.

Maybe my father didn't really die either.

Maybe things will change.

Maybe, but you also want to get at the Ellen Jamesians.

Maybe.

Me too.

Me too.

Men die young in my family, Helen.

Michael Milton.

Michael.

Miss Fields.

Miss Fields.

Mm hm.

Mm hm.

Mm, 30.

Mom, I don't want to hear about this shit!

Mom, it's very simple.

Mom, you didn't write about me, did you?

Mom!

Mom!

Mom!

Mom! Mom!

Mom?

Mom.

Mom. Mom.

Monkey in the middle.

Move in, Joey. Come on.

Mr. Holm, you have a daughter. I have a son.

Mr. Holm?

My daughter got knocked up by a Garp.

My father was a flier.

My father wore a helmet. He was a flier.

My husband doesn't putter. He's a writer.

My life, once I've experienced enough.

My mother's paying for it. She's become a firm these days.

My name is T.S. Garp.

My parents died. Your father died. Everybody dies.

My teeth fall out and my hair turn gray.

Nineteen?

No glove, no love.

No last fucks for the road. On the phone!

No point taking Donaldson's class. That's a real bore.

No sense making things any worse than they are.

No, because they dribble before they shoot.

No, I didn't.

No, I mean they don't have any tongues.

No, I wanna ask her about something.

No, I'm retiring.

No, I'm sorry.

No, it wasn't. It was a bore.

No, let go. Give this to me.

No, Mom, I've got a lot of sympathy for a girl who gets ****d.

No, Mom. What? She's taken a vow of frowns or something?

No, not 17.

No, this is the last year that I'll be coaching.

No, you don't. That Cushie could use a good sport herself.

No.

No.

No. No, I don't. I'll tell you what I want.

No. Not at all. If I do, I'll start again.

Nobody is buying my novel. I'm starting my second...

None of your business.

Nope.

Not as well as you.

Not because I'm afraid...

Not here.

Not really.

Not the bastard son of Jenny Fields? Oh, I loved your mother's book!

Not to me, it's not.

Not when I'm working. Oh, sometimes.

Now all we need is some butter, some milk...

Now you don't have a father either.

Now, carefully, give me your foot.

Now, hold on to it.

Now, you're supposed to attack me and pull my clothes off.

Number 90? Robert Muldoon?

Of course I do.

Of course you can tell me what happened.

Of course you can, darling.

Of course, I can't.

Of course, yeah.

Off the face, off the face.

Oh, boy, did they.

Oh, boy!

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

Oh, don't cry.

Oh, Duncan!

Oh, fuck!

Oh, Garp.

Oh, God, please!

Oh, God!

Oh, God!

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, good for her!

Oh, Helen...

Oh, I can't hear a damn... Where'd she go?

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, I just finished reading your novel. I think it's wonderful. I adored it.

Oh, I know who you are.

Oh, Jesus Christ. That really...

Oh, listen. I know...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, no.

Oh, that's great. I mean, thank you.

Oh, Ulysses.

Oh, Walt, isn't this lovely? Look at him.

Oh, what the hell.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes.

Oh, you're an Ellen Jamesian. Thank...

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Gradual school is where you gradually find out...

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. You mean rubbers.

Okay, call you when we get home.

Okay, Duncan. Come on. Come on.

Okay, gentlemen, that's it. Hit the showers.

Okay, let's get back on defense!

Okay, we've got a big meet tomorrow, so no beating the meat tonight.

Old as the hills.

Old man Walt.

On the whale, but I did the rest.

Once they take the stitches out of his tongue and unwire his jaw.

One day, they brought in a tail gunner...

One night, when he had one of his usual erections...

One of my students brought you up in class today.

One of them even called it a novella instead of a short story.

Only in your apartment.

Or fast on your way to becoming one or the other."

Or I'll make him dead as a doornail.

Or somebody's whore...

Our new wrestling coach is named Holm. What a hard ass.

Our youth is gone, isn't it?

Pardon me.

Pardon me. My name is Jenny Fields. Are you a prostitute?

People used her. They took her life away.

Period!

Please?

Please?

Please. Silence, please!

Pleased to meet you. One fifty eight. On my way to 147.

Pooh, would you smile, damn it?

Pooh?

Pooh.

Poor Garp.

Poor kid. She not only has to hide...

Practically a whole window to yourself. How about that?

Pretending to be his dead father.

Pretty clean.

Pritchard, give me that!

Promise.

Randy!

Really?

Really? What will you be going out for?

Really? What's he like?

Remember Chicago? Do you?

Remember these, Rachel? Do you?

Remember.

Reverse him! Roll him!

Reviewers took her to pieces. They said wonderful things about yours.

Right? Right?

Said the only word other than his name that I ever heard him utter.

Same man, the bottom.

Say "Dada." Say it, say it.

Say "Duncan."

Say hi to your baby sister.

See you, Garp.

Seemed like a good way to have one without the bother of a husband...

She can't bear to have a man's hand touching her.

She doesn't want anyone to know what she looks like now or where she is.

She has no tongue.

She is going to be very, very rich and very, very famous.

She never felt it. Not even once.

She scared the hell out of me once...

She seemed to have a pretty good head on her shoulders.

She sent me a picture of herself.

She struck a chord women wanted to hear.

She teaches kids that go to gradual school.

She wants to name her Jenny.

She was our home...

She was our mother.

She's a wonderful person.

She's got the hiccups.

She's hurt, and you're hurt.

She's in Dirckson's Drama Through the Ages.

She's just a quiet little girl.

She's not the type to appreciate literature.

She's timely.

Should be here in about seven and a half months.

Sick.

Silence in the house!

Sir Scum manages to crawl forth...

Sleep well.

Slowly take your foot out of the gutter.

Smile, Cushie. That's right. Now, come on, Pooh, smile.

So he takes off the gloves, and he dies.

So how do you know you're going to be a writer?

So I'm trying to clean it up a bit.

So it's up to us to look out for them.

So sad.

So sad.

So smile and look merry.

So that win or lose...

Some authority she is.

Some defect in our femininity with our brains.

Some of these women formed a society in her honor.

Something to cushion the fall!

Son of a bitch!

Son of a bitch! He bit your earlobe off.

Sorry about that.

Sorry about that. We have to end the war...

Sorry.

Sound the charge.

Sounds like a fish.

Stay off your back. Ten seconds. Hold him.

Stay, Bonkie, stay. That's a good dog.

Stephen! Stephen!

Strangers can come between us.

Strangers.

Strawberry Swirl, Chock full of Chocolate...

T.S. Garp?

Take care.

Take him down!

Take over what?

Ten seconds!

Ten seconds!

Terribly Sad.

Thank you.

Thanks a lot.

Thanks.

That also made me a sexual suspect.

That guy has been terrorizing this neighborhood for years.

That made me a sexual suspect.

That means they do have kids, right?

That must be the babysitter. I'll get it.

That my mother's book has been translated into Apache.

That really gets me.

That son of a bitch ran the same stop sign.

That was a dreadful film.

That wasn't fair. You said I couldn't write about you.

That way your armor will fit!

That way, I could see you flat chested and watch you as your breasts grew.

That we won't be able to continue.

That you don't want to go to school anymore.

That's a babysitter?

That's a beautiful name.

That's a good boy. Take it out.

That's all right, I can drive. You just never let me.

That's all you men understand, is violence.

That's catchy.

That's how small this town is.

That's it.

That's it. Good move.

That's it. I will see you Tuesday.

That's my baby's name.

That's no way for the son of a nurse to behave.

That's not fair. I showed you mine. You should show me yours.

That's right.

That's right. Garp.

That's silly.

That's two, two there!

That's two!

That's two!

That's wonderful. Oh, I'm so happy.

The all American bod.

The cruise was a disaster, anyway.

The doctor says he'll be fine...

The men of America will soon find out what that means.

The more the wind blows, the more you can let out.

The only thing you've inherited from your mother...

The residents are mostly kids who can't look out for themselves.

The terrible, the ugly...

The text is dull, and Stewart Percy is even duller.

The thing is to have a life before we die.

The thing that's really hard is that I'd love to have kids.

The undertow! Be careful of the undertow!

The woman I'm supporting would make a damn fine president...

The women in the society have their tongues cut off...

The women of America, hungry for a heroine...

The word "home" keeps coming up, but it doesn't sound the same anymore.

Then get in the car with me.

Then the kids and I played this great game with Roberta.

Then we talked about the fact that I have never written a Christmas story.

There are a lot of sick people out there.

There could've been kids playing there. A pregnant woman.

There still are men who would hurt her.

There was a stop sign there, right?

There was a voice...

There. I've had two glasses of champagne.

There's another kid I'm sure you're gonna like too.

There's been enough violence.

There's blood on the porch. Blood everywhere.

There's crazy drivers everywhere.

They cut off her tongue so she wouldn't tell...

They had a crisis.

They loved it.

They started talking about Magic Gloves.

They took a vote and decided to continue.

They're coming!

They're furious at you. I know these women.

They're gonna have an Ellen James Society, and Ellen James is against it?

They've done lovely things here with the lawn.

Thinking about everything.

Thirty.

This Ellen James Society doesn't speak, as if they had no tongues?

This house is full of them!

This is going to be a real family project.

This is good enough for me.

This is one course you won't be taking.

This is some date.

This is what happens when you become rich and famous. That's why I avoided it.

This is what you had in mind all along.

This means that we have to follow the speed limit.

This one hopes that I'll get gangbanged by the Oakland Raiders.

This particular literature course.

This picture is going to all our friends this year.

This sure is fun, Dad.

Tie him up underneath. That's it, that's it.

Time out. Time out. Just five.

To hell with that.

To protest what happened to Ellen James.

To tell you the truth, I've never given the matter much thought, but...

Toad? What toad?

Two men ****d her when she was 11 years old.

Two weeks, to Club Med.

Two! Two there.

Uh huh.

Uh...

Under general anesthesia.

Undertoad!

Unless it's a wrestler who's also a writer.

Until one day, all he could say was part of his name, "Arp."

Very bright, but young.

Wait! Wait!

Walt gets to do the illustrations.

Walt had a cold this morning. He should be home.

Walt thinks there's a big toad under the water.

Walt!

Walt?

Was he real big?

Watch out for the undertow!

Watch out!

We are civilized people, and civilized people obey rules.

We are now orphans.

We can't have you parading around like a savage from Borneo.

We have been suspect as the weaker sex.

We haven't had any strangers, but, I mean...

We need you here. There's a lot of healing yet to be done.

We should invite her over next weekend.

We should've stayed in Chicago.

We will continue.

We'll be home later, if we come home at all.

We'll go look at the kids when they're asleep.

We'll go someplace where we can get a cup of coffee, get warm and talk.

We'll just have to unzip you.

We're gonna stay here and look at the kids.

We're neither little nor weak, but a force to be dealt with!

We're on our way now to enter him in a sport.

We're taking you to a hospital in Boston.

We've been here long enough.

We've got oranges, fruits and vegetables.

Well, come on inside. I'll take you upstairs.

Well, do you?

Well, I don't want to be the granny around the house.

Well, I zipped it up too fast, and it got caught.

Well, I'll call you.

Well, what was the verdict?

Well, you know how I feel about them.

Well, you're not.

Well?

Well?

Well...

Well...

Were you aware of what was going on out here?

What a bod.

What a bod. This, gentlemen, is a bod.

What a day.

What a day.

What are you doing awake?

What are you? The man of the house, or the court eunuch?

What can I do?

What did that bastard son of yours do to my dog?

What do you coach?

What do you mean, I can't go? I'm her son.

What do you think, Helen?

What does the T.S. stand for?

What going on out here?

What happened happened.

What is it?

What shall I take?

What strangers?

What the hell does she know about lust?

What the hell is Global Development Studies?

What the hell. Go.

What the hell's the matter with you?

What was he doing up there?

What was that all about?

What was that all about? New constitution?

What, my love?

What?

What's gradual school?

What's the matter, Roberta?

What's the matter, Walt?

What's the matter?

What's the matter?

When I'm old and gray, I probably won't remember my past.

When we showed intelligence, we were suspect of covering up...

When we showed strength, we were suspect as not being weak enough.

When you were born, I was so happy...

When?

Where are we going?

Where did you get this?

Where to?

While I'm alive, the subject belongs to me.

Who had legal rights to my body. So one night when I was on duty...

Who they were or what they looked like.

Who'd been wounded by antiaircraft in a raid over Germany.

Who's Mommy talking to?

Who's that?

Whoever made this dreadful film is a friend of mine.

Whom.

Why can't a basketball player father a child?

Why can't basketball players father a child?

Why can't basketball players have kids?

Why can't I decide what sport to take?

Why couldn't he have kids?

Why dirty?

Why do you think men like you?

Will you cut that shit out?!

Will you knock it off?

Will you throw me in the air like you used to?

Winifred.

With him. He's a publisher. He looks like a nice man.

With his last dying breath...

With snow inside of them.

With the election day so close...

With whom is your appointment, Mother?

Would you like that?

Wrestling...

Yeah, 5.

Yeah, and you know who lives underwater.

Yeah, but I don't want reviews. I want an audience. A big audience.

Yeah, real. He's very young.

Yeah, she is.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah. Mom says...

Yeah. Well, that wasn't death.

Yes, he did.

Yes, he is. I'll get him.

Yes, I just imagine what you'd be like without it.

Yes, it is. That's why she's here. My name's Roberta.

Yes, it's about time we had another one.

Yes, Milton.

Yes, my love.

Yes, my love.

Yes, there is.

Yes, what is it you want?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. And you're supposed to say, "Every night you have a headache."

Yes. For Valentine's Day, you can have one with a heart.

Yes. T.S. Garp.

Yes. The society...

Yes. Yes, it is.

You asshole.

You broke up with Marge too late.

You call him, and you say, "Goodbye." On the phone.

You call him, Helen.

You can have cake and ice cream and don't have to worry about cavities.

You can order a nice glass eye...

You can talk.

You can't! Michael!

You can't. Someone has to rescue the fair maiden.

You didn't say it was a joke.

You do that when you're old and gray.

You do what you want to do or what you have to do, I guess.

You don't have a father. You're a bastard.

You don't usually find homes quite this lovely in this quiet a location.

You have a fine reputation as a writer of serious fiction. This is serious stuff.

You have one hell of a way of making converts to civilization.

You have to leave now.

You just seem like the only normal person around the place.

You just want to make trouble.

You know what I really love, though?

You know what men are like. Full of lust.

You know why Santa Claus can't father a child?

You know, everybody dies.

You know, sometimes you can have a whole lifetime in a day...

You know, undertoad.

You look wonderful. Helen. Hello, dear.

You mean they actually have their own tongues cut off?

You might have seen me.

You must be so proud of your mother.

You Neolithic dipshit!

You ****d a dying man.

You ****d him.

You really want to have sex with her.

You said you'd only marry a real writer.

You see, a stranger has come between us.

You see, it's going to be the first feminist memorial funeral.

You started it, now be a man and leave.

You sure like trouble, don't you?

You sure read a lot.

You sure?

You think you're the only one around here with a broken heart?

You walked right into that fireman's, Garp. Come on!

You want that, go to Eighth Avenue.

You'd better rest.

You'll be old too someday.

You'll get to see my breasts sag...

You'll write, and you'll marry Helen, and she'll read.

You're a disgrace to your tribe.

You're a little short on sympathy, son.

You're a publisher, John, not a critic. You just publish it.

You're a wonderful writer.

You're about to burst.

You're done with school.

You're Ellen James?

You're out of bounds.

You're reading another writer in my bed. That's adultery.

You're so dumb. It's a joke.

You're supposed to come to a full stop. Right?

You're supposed to stop.

You're too big for that now.

You're wounded. As soon as you're wounded, you become a villain.

You've been doing your homework, teacher.

You've been hammering at me since we got on the plane.

You've been sleeping with Marge Tallworth.

You've got a long life ahead.

You've got the wrong house, and the wrong guy. My name is Garp.

You've got to be young when you do it.

Young, maybe.

Young.

Your blaming her isn't going to change that.

Your daddy used to draw.

Your mother gets even worse than these.

Your novel is as good a first novel as I've read.

A shot will do that? It will. He'll be dead.

A turkey for Thanksgiving? If you insist.

About what? I want to ask her about lust!

After all, it's only natural. Diseases are natural too.

Ah! Stop it! Go away, Bonkers!

Alice, dear, it's all right, darling. He touched me!

All right, over here, let's go. Get the rebound!

Am I disturbing you? I think you like to disturb me.

Am I in it? In a way.

An old man. Blind people. Garp! Garp!

and become a real writer. All right.

and now the undertoad. Come on, Walt's a fine kid.

and see how the boys are doing. So how are you?

And we're lousy on takedowns. Thanks, Tom. We've got some guys...

Are you all right? Baby, you found me.

Are you all right? No! Yes.

Are you gonna come? I think it's a good idea.

Are you visiting somebody here? No, why?

Arp! Arp! I had more to say...

Ask you a few questions. Will $10 be enough?

At least change the title. No. I want it Ellen.

Back to your basic hospital white, Mom? Yes.

Basketball is the best. I'm too short for basketball.

Basketball. I don't know.

Beg your pardon? Lust.

Bonkers just got a little excited. Fine. I'm a little excited too.

Bonkie! Oh!

Boy, has she got problems. Yes, she does.

Bullshit, you big dyke. I am not a dyke.

But a wedding ring, dear... I didn't need his ring, Mother.

But a writer first and foremost? Yeah, a real writer.

But are you all right? Oh, I'm fine.

But I never got married. Neither did I.

but I... Pooh.

But it was that double armed... It was lust.

But when I wanted to write about your... My son is also a writer.

Bye bye. Bye.

Bye, Duncan. Bye bye, sweetheart. Bye, Duncan.

Can I have it? What?

Can you imagine? I'm sorry.

Can you say "bye, Grandma"? Bye, Grandma.

Can't tell yet. Quiet type?

Can't you stay a couple more days? I've gotta go.

Caught him when he fell off the roof. Hm.

Come along! Yes, Mother.

Come here. First there was the gradual student...

Come on, Rachel! Don't "Rachel" me, Stephen.

Come on. I don't feel like a movie.

Could you write something in there? Yes.

Cushie, what happened? Bonkie bit Garp.

Cushie? Garp!

Dada. Not Dada.

Daddy's a guy. But Daddy has Mommy.

Dead men don't eat. Dead men don't bitch, either.

Did you hear that, Dad? What's that?

Did you really do them yourself? Yes.

Do you always wear a sweat suit? Don't you like it?

Do you know who the winner was? No.

Do you promise? Yes.

Do you think I'm gonna be a real writer? I do. Oh, I do.

Does he write sad stuff too? Hardly.

Does it hurt? Yes. A lot.

Don't you have ahold of it? No, your glove.

Don't you think I want to? No, I don't think I want to.

Down. Set. Hut, hut, hut. One Mississippi, two Mississippi...

Drive carefully. Goodbye, darling.

Easy. Sorry, baby. Sorry.

Garp, what happened? Bonkers bit me!

Garp! I'm afraid.

Garp! Mom, help me!

Garp? Jesus Christ!

Garp? Yes, Garp.

Good afternoon, Dean Bodger. Good afternoon, Jenny.

Good luck to you. Thank you very much.

Good night, son. Good night, Mom.

Goodbye, Helen. Bye, Roberta.

Got it? Yeah, I got it. You can let go now.

Guess what. What?

Have a lovely trip back. We will.

Have you talked with her about it? No, I couldn't find her.

He is. He's quoting Granny. I don't care. Come on.

He's a fine boy. Good wrestler. He's full of lust.

He's in there, right? Yeah.

Hear that, Walt? We're having fun. What's Mom gonna eat...

Hello there, Garp. Hello, dean.

Hello? Hello, Helen.

Help! Mom, help! Dean! Dean Bodger!

Here. Don't give me money here.

Hey, Garp, you wanna play? Yes, I do.

Hey, over here, Stuey! I know how to make babies.

Hey! Ah!

Hi, Jenny. What's your name?

Hi, Mrs. Garp. Hi, Jimmy. Come on in.

Hi. Hi.

His ear? Part of it.

Hold tight. It's all right. Mattresses. Get your mattresses!

How are you doing? Very well, thank you.

How come we're eating out? Because it's fun.

How do you do? Hi.

How do you know? Oh, just a writer's instinct.

How old are you? Eighteen.

How wonderful! Not so hard.

How's Helen? She's fine.

Hurry, boys! Hurry. Give me your free foot.

I am so. Inside, Duncan.

I don't know. It depends. I'll give you 20.

I don't see what you see in politics. A mess, that's what. I don't like it.

I get the picture. I don't think you do.

I had a great pair of hands. Yes, you did.

I have an appointment. With who?

I just really love it. What?

I know too. How could you?

I know. I loved her so.

I love kids. Me too.

I needed his sperm. No...!

I never found out. She never found out his first name?

I remember. You were too young to remember.

I see. I'll just be going. Not yet. No, not yet.

I think it was his last name. What was his first name?

I think you'd better write that. Thank you. I will.

I tried that already, but it hurts. It's either that or amputate.

I wanna do what they do. Animals.

I wanna talk with one of them. Come on.

I want to die too. All right.

I wanted to fly. I understand. It's all right.

I wonder who they all are. Moochers, hangers on.

I'll see you in the morning. If I'm still here.

I'll see you. Take care.

I'll send the sitter out. Roger and out.

I'll teach you. Monkey in the middle.

I'm a nurse. I know. When's what due?

I'm a wrestling coach. Changed jobs, eh?

I'm almost sorry we're going back. Home is home.

I'm gonna be a reader. Maybe you'll marry a writer.

I'm Helen Holm. Oh, Holm sweet Holm.

I'm sorry. All I did was touch her. It's all right.

I'm sorry. All I did was touch her. It's all right.

I'm tired of that answer. I'm tired of your questions.

I've always read a lot. Me too.

I've got to see you, Helen. You must go. You can't come in.

I've read everything you've written. Really?

If a man shows up... A man is showing up.

Is he a teen? I don't know.

Is it all over? Yes.

Is it all right? It's not an "it."

Is she expecting you? Fuck you, you douche bag.

Is that the latest fashion? No, Mom, that's the oldest profession.

Is that what you want? Maybe.

Is this your first time? No.

It hurts! Come on, you run along to your house.

It was my idea. It was. Story credit goes to Duncan.

it's all over. Of course I will.

It's all right. Jesus Christ.

It's finished when I say it's finished. Wow, it's real macho time.

It's just something you know. What are you going to write about?

It's Lone Ranger, not Long. He died.

It's not quantity that counts. Thank God for that.

It's the timing. Timing.

Jenny, you must know his first name. Technical Sergeant Garp.

Jim. The movie should be over by 10:30...

John McCormack. Really?

Just for a minute. We're not going anywhere.

Leave it alone for a while. Yes, Miss Fields.

Let him? Why not?

Let me see yours. No, I've got to go.

Let's go. The movie's not finished yet.

Let's make love. I don't think so.

Like Joyce? Maybe.

Looks that way. Can I give you a lift someplace?

Maybe this time it'll work out. Maybe so.

Me neither. Too bad. Let's go.

Michael Milton. Is that his name? Yeah.

Michael, damn it, will you listen? You can't. You just can't.

Michael! We wouldn't have to leave the car.

Mocha Madness, Michael Milton. He's not gay.

Mom, can we go now? Do you feel anything?

Mom, I'm sorry. I didn't know. He's my son.

Mom! I'm all right. I'm all right, darling.

Mom! Mom! Mom! Garp?

Move it around, guys. Here we go.

Mr. Percy said that I tasted good! He did, did he?

My glove? Look, I don't want babies.

My Laurel's not your type. Perhaps she's not your type, either.

My mother and I were just... Your mother?

My son is not dog food, goddamn it! Calm down, Jenny.

Next! Do it!

Nice job, Ernie. Nice yourself.

No tackling. Unnecessary roughness.

No, Bonkers! No! Cushie!

No, don't do that. It tickles. No, Bonkers! Stop it, Bonkers!

No, I'm so... Oh, no. I'm sorry.

No, Michael, please! I brought some champagne.

Nobody's scared of bears. And bears are scared of nobody.

Not like this. I said, it's over.

Not tonight. I have a headache. Every night you have a headache.

Nothing's happened to me yet, Mom. Well, too bad.

Now it's done. We need a granny around the house.

Oh, boy. Helen!

Oh, Christ. I'm sorry... It was cut off on purpose...

Oh, hey, hey. Look out!

Oh, hi, Jenny. Mr. Holm...

Oh, I did it again. You sure did.

Oh, I don't think so. Really?

Oh, Mom. I don't want any more discussion.

Oh, my God. Stephen! Stephen! Rachel?

Oh, no, she wants to talk. What's your regular charge?

Oh? Can you fly?

Okay? Okay.

Or do you think it only degrades him? I don't know.

Pretty nice Halloween party, huh? Death scared me.

Promise. I promise.

Quickly. Now...

Quiet! Go fuck yourself.

Ready, Sir Walt? Ready, roger and out, Sir Duncan.

Really? Really.

Really? That's right.

Really? Yep.

Roberta called. To wish us a happy Halloween?

Say "Grandma." No.

See the line, you know? Mm hm.

She's a cult, not a writer. Hi.

She's very nice, Mom, but... What is it about her that you want?

Short stories. Sexual Suspect?

Sleep well. You too.

So this is the little girl. She's not little anymore.

so we'll be back by 11. Okay.

So, what brings you home? I'm visiting.

Son, Helen's expecting. No, she's not.

Sorry to hear that. But he really didn't.

Sorry. I should hope so.

Stay right here. Okay.

still alive, and she helps him. And I get to do the drawings.

Stop quoting Roberta. I'm quoting Granny.

Stop! Bonkers!

Swish! Nice shot. All right, good shot.

Technical sergeant? T.S.

Ten dollars? What's the usual charge?

Thank God I caught him. Yes, just in time.

That sounds wonderful. Shh.

That was just a costume. It scared me.

That's not very artistic, though. I'm not an artist.

That's the rules. I'll become the villain.

The kids love it. It's like flying. It's dangerous and silly.

The picture. Why?

The what? The Feis Ceoil.

There you are. We're gonna go in.

They're already ruined. Oh.

This whole house is full of... I know, I know.

threatening letters to me. Me too. So what?

Understand? Yes, Miss Fields.

Undertoad. There's no toad under the water.

Walt is scared of death, Mom. No, he's not.

Was he on our side, at least? He wasn't on any side.

Was that his first name or last name? It was Garp.

Watch him! Take the shot, Gary.

Watch where you're running. Sorry.

We beat him, Mom. We did. We killed him.

We call him "Holm sweat Holm." He's my father. I'm his daughter.

We looked at them last night. I know.

We'll take the house. Garp.

We're the Holm team. Oh.

We've really got to go. Why, do you like her?

What are you doing? Writing.

What do you mean? I mean she has no tongue.

What do you weigh, about 112 or so? One thirteen.

What does that mean? Don't know what an Ellen Jamesian is?

What for? So he won't bite anymore.

What happened? Bonkie bit Garp.

What happened? I had a fight with Helen.

What happened? Oh, it's all right.

What the hell did he do? Garp bit Bonkie.

What was his name? Michael Milton.

What? You're not well enough to walk.

What'd Cushie think of it? Cushie?

What's he saying? Boo hoo.

What's her problem? She's an Ellen Jamesian.

What's it to you? Hello. My name is Garp.

What's she doing? Spare me your modesty.

What's T.S. stand for? Terribly Sexy.

What's that? Some of my hate mail.

What's the definition of a bra? I don't know. What?

What's the definition of a girdle? I don't know.

What's the matter? Nothing.

What's this? Bonkers' ear.

What's wrong? You guys always get to die.

When are you due? How did you know?

when she comes home? Shut up and eat.

Where are you going? To get a job.

Where are you? What do you care where we are?

Where did you put it? Shh.

Where is Bonkers? What for?

Where is it? I haven't got it.

Where was I? He kept having erections.

Where's your handkerchief? I don't have one.

Where's your thing? Where's what?

Who? My father.

Who's on the roof? Mom!

Who's that? Garp?

Who's that? Somebody Mother introduced me to.

Whores? Oh, yes.

Why not? Because it's illegal, Mom.

Why not? I'll tell you about it someday.

Why? Because it is, that's why.

Will I ever fly like Daddy? I don't know.

With Helen? And Bonkers too.

Yeah, yeah. Stop, you son of a bitch!

Yeah? Thank you so much for everything.

Yeah. And the landscaping.

Yes, you see, my mother... I don't go for no kinky stuff.

Yes? What about Dean Bodger?

You and who else? Me and him.

You can't be serious. You bet your fat ass I am!

You can't live in the past. I'm not.

You can't stay? No, I have to go...

You certainly won't marry a wrestler. You can be very sure of that.

You coming? In a minute.

You do? Yes. Don't you?

You don't really need a father. All the other kids have one.

You don't think that's overreacting? Well, he's...

You folks all right down there? Yeah, I'm okay. We're all right.

You gonna be a writer? No chance.

You got it. No fair, no fair.

You know, I've just been reading this. Really? How do you like it?

You know, maybe we should move. Why?

You like football? Oh, yeah, I used to watch it quite a bit.

You mind if I use your phone? Sure, if you can find it.

You pay for the coffee? Of course.

You shouldn't tease him. He didn't!

You want anything funny... I don't intend to watch.

You want to hurt them. No, I don't.

You writing anything? No.

You wrote it for me. Yeah.

You're Jenny's son! Yes, I am.

You're out of bounds. Concentration.

You're using her too. I'm just helping to state her case.

You've got a nice tan. That's all I got.

You've read him? Uh huh.

Your mother's weird. You could say that.

Your thing. My thing?

"Dear Frank, the kids are in the school, the dog is in the yard...

"Garp." Is that right? Garp?

"In this dirty minded world, you are either somebody's wife...

"Mythology."

"That was the year that I got to introduce...