Marmaduke Edit

A bee! Get off of me now!

A dog like this is impossible to train,

A large meal before a competition is exactly what you need.

A little privacy, and a one way ticket back to Kansas.

A massive, rogue wave approaches!

A pedigree girlfriend.

A real top dog looks out for his family.

A surf competition for dogs?

A unique synthesis of "marma",

A waffle is to be savored, not inhaled!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! [gasps]

Aah! [screams]

Absolutely not a purebred.

Actually, no, Bosco. I'm here to thank you.

After all, he's only human.

After I won last year's World Championship,

Ah! [spits]

Ah. Here we are.

Aha! And here's our marketing director, Phil Winslow.

Ahh! Ugh! Ahh!

Ahhh! Hot cheese! Oh, hot cheese!

All contestants must get ready.

All dogs like to chase cats.

All right, all right, twist my paw. ALL: Duke! Duke!

All right, bring the family along. They can relax while we work.

All right, enough. Lights out.

All right, here it is. The overall surf champion...

All right, I'm all ears, literally.

All right, you guys!

All right! Now it's a party! Yeah, come on!

All right! Yeah!

All right.

All the humans are sleeping

All the way from Shanghai just to lose to me? [laughs]

ALL: (CHANTING) Fight! Fight! Fight!

Alpha male who runs the park.

Always late for church.

Amy, wait.

Amy!

And

And became a big phony baloney sell out.

And Black Bart's getting away!

And breaking into bird cages is even tougher. (BELCHES)

And don't forget to take advantage of our two for one offer for Shimmer Shampoo.

And don't forget to take advantage of our two for one offer for the Shimmer Shampoo!

And don't make any dinner plans

And embarrass yourself while the whole world is watching?

And excitement for the whole family.

And first up is Zeus! [giggles]

And guess what he's in charge of?

And have gifts you could never dream of having.

And he's super jealous,

And his name is Marmaduke.

And I always thought Dad would be the reason why I had no friends in school.

And I just don't think I'll make it in today.

And I just get a little nervous sometimes because we live in California.

And I know the best dog in the whole world is staring me right in the face.

And I never had a chance to tell you.

And I think Black Bart might be roamin' around these parts.

And I wish you could understand me.

And I'm having Laura from down the street look in on him.

And I'm the reigning SoCal surf champ.

And learn to control your impulse to eat.

And made a solo trip around the world.

And my wife might say there's no "if" about it…

And never stop my plans

And now, I'd like to introduce Henri and Philippe!

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

And once again, that dog screwed it up!

And so, moving day arrived.

And spending the day with the folks who love me.

And stand up proud.

And that is what made me

And that, I have no idea what that is.

And that, my friend, is some pretty strong stuff.

And that's the way it'll always be.

And that's the way the park should be.

And the Duke shreds! This dog rules! Marmaduke!

And the toilet's in there.

And the trophy goes to...

And the ultra confident Chinese Crested over here is Giuseppe.

And then they invited friends. It just got crazy!

And then…

And there was a feeling of hope

And they act like their fleas don't bite. It's ridiculous!

And this social butterfly here is Barbara.

And this, by far, the nicest bathroom I've ever had.

And tt took two security guards to get it out!

And we suck at swimming?

And when I'm around you I smell potential,

And win the million dollar prize!

And you are about to show the world just how hungry you are.

And you are my family.

And you just sit over here and act like we're dirt.

And you're no longer guy.

And you're telling me to be myself?

And, just put some clothes on.

And, most importantly, I get to spend time with my little girl.

Anton, master of the Top Dog method.

Any man that chooses his dog over his career

Anyone recognize this cute little fella?

Anything for you.

Anything?

Anyway, I try not to hold things against Phil.

Are we gonna spend the rest of our lives hiding underneath the porch

Are we insured?

Are we still on for dinner?

Are we sure these are all dogs?

Are you crazy?

Are you good at anything? Huh?

Are you kidding? All that training?

Are you okay?

Are you ready?

Are you serious? Totally!

Aren't we okay in Kansas?

ARLISS ON TV: Yeller.

As if!

As you insist.

As you wish.

At least I got to show the world what kind of dog I am.

At least, she did until you turned your back on us

Atta boy, buddy. Come on!

Atta boy!

Au revoir!

Aw, thanks, buddy.

Aw.

Aw. Looks aren't everything.

Aw…

Ay, ay, ay!

Ay! [grunts]

Baby, come on.

Bacon pizza?!

Bad dog!

Bad golfers.

Bad Marmaduke.

Bakersfield. What the...

Bang, bang.

Barb, I read the text. And...

Barb, it's a family trip and you are coming, too. Let's go.

BARBARA: Oh, he's so cute!

BARBARA: That's mine...

BARBARA: What happened?

Bark Organics was made in Southern California, embrace that.

Basically, the opposite of you.

Bathing suits, sunglasses, sunscreen.

Be the bacon, Marmaduke. You can do it.

Be the bacon. The bacon! The… the bacon!

Be true to who you are.

Beautiful day, huh?

Beautiful, Barbara.

Because he just saved me.

Because he thinks Marmaduke is gonna make us rich.

Because I want Bark Organics

Because I'm taking you to that cozy place we went to last time.

Because it appears somebody stole your integrity.

Because this park is for dogs only.

Because we don't know how long he's been gone.

Because you're fired, Winslow!

Because you're my friend.

Because you’ll do whatever it takes to make sure

Become the bacon, huh?

Bee! Ahhh!

Bee! Bee! Ahhh!

Bee! Bee! He's gonna sting us!

Bees are scary.

Before they'll cross promote the roll out.

Before you ask, yes, I'm a real dog. No, I'm not a chew toy.

Being a pedigree means you're exceptional.

Being a teenager, it can be rough,

Believe I'm a champion?

Believe in yourself.

Believe you're a winner.

Besides, have you seen the video of you rescuing Marmaduke on YouTube?

Besides, we'll still be friends.

Better make the bed rock

Billy will be fine. Come on, boy.

Billy, he's got to stay up there until he learns his lesson.

Billy, stop saying true things about your father.

Billy?

Blech!

Bodie? You came.

Bosco, stop!

BOSCO: Dog food.

BOSCO: Get back here, mutt!

BOSCO: Get back here, you poser!

BOSCO: Jezebel, let's go. Now!

BOSCO: Out of my way, poser! Look out!

BOSCO: See you later, when there's not any girls around to save you.

BOSCO: Well, well, well. If it isn't the dog and pony show.

BOSCO: You sure?

Bosco's right about everything. I'm just a Gigantor freak.

Boston? I'm gonna say Kansas.

BOTH: Dead.

BOY: Hey, Brian!

Branches!

Breaking into new cliques is tough

Brian, who are your friends?

BRIAN: Hey, Marmaduke, can you keep a secret?

BRIAN: Marmaduke! Come on, buddy. PHIL: Marmaduke!

BRIAN: Marmaduke! Look who I found!

BRIAN: Night, Dad.

Brian's got his fins.

Bring the iconic spirit of the West Coast

Brr!

Brutal!

Bu how did he land on the tip of that spear without getting skewered?

Buddy.

But all you’ve done is made it impossible to be a champion.

But did… did… did you just apologize?

But he didn't promise anything.

But he ended up choosing Becky and I had to go with Mike.

But he's not really good at the old pick me up speech.

But I already have a girlfriend.

But I did see this cute surfer kid today.

But I hardly even saw him today.

But I've actually been hanging out at the skate park.

But I've got to get back to my office now.

But I've never been so happy to see that big, ugly face in my whole life.

But if you're a teenager, and the world doesn't fit you,

But into the great unknown mystery, I will go first, amigo.

But just a tiny taste. [exhales]

But the best thing we can do is put the whole thing behind us.

But the promise of the Championship trophy is way stronger than a

But then he went insane from rabies and ate his owner.

But there are no dogs allowed on the boat.

But they wanna see a fully realized campaign

But this is just like the time that Jeremy Smith told Kathy

But topping my list is the return of the dog whisperer himself,

But we're not big dogs, we're tiny dogs!

But we're not supposed to eat a large meal before a competition.

But what if the dogs could talk to each other?

But when you grow up into this, I get it. Not pretty.

But you got to tell your dad.

But you got to trust me on this.

But you have to tell the kids.

But you kind of deserved it.

But you took that fleabag to school!

But you'll make so many new friends there.

But you're better than any of those guys, and I can prove it.

But you're gonna need more than that.

But, more importantly, you'll earn the respect…

Bye bye.

Bye, Guy.

California

California

California, here we come

California!

Call 'em.

Can I get you anything, Deb?

Can I open my eyes now?

Can we go now, before I become an appetizer?

Can you please help me get him out of there?

Can't wait for the next family boat trip.

Canine ball!

Cannonball!

Carlos, you're a genius.

CARLOS: (WITH SPANISH ACCENT) Take it easy, man!

CARLOS: A tube of toothpaste is a good start,

CARLOS: Hey, dude, get out of the trash!

CARLOS: Looking out for his own.

CARLOS: No, no, no! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

CARLOS: Not to rub margarita salt in the wound,

CARLOS: This is a horrible mistake.

CARLOS: Timber!

CARLOS: Whoa! What a crowd!

Cat! There's no cat here.

Check it out.

Check, Pig Cow's mine. Why?

Cheese.

Choose your words wisely, Mr. Zeus.

Chug it, Shasta!

Chupadogra?

Chupadogra?

Chupadogra.

Come and get me.

Come have a seat, fellas.

Come here, now! I'm sorry.

Come here, through here, Phil! I'm over here!

Come here, you!

Come on up and take a close look at the future World Champion.

Come on, baby, are you gonna spend time with them or with me?

Come on, big M, keep it together.

Come on, boy!

Come on, boy.

Come on, boy. Marmaduke!

Come on, bring it in.

Come on, buddy!

Come on, buddy! Marmaduke, where are you?

Come on, buddy. I can't see!

Come on, come on, give me something I can recognize.

Come on, folks, I'm so sorry. Come on. Come this way.

Come on, get back here. Heel!

Come on, girl, just jump.

Come on, give me a scent.

Come on, it'll be fun! Question.

Come on, let's get our bark on. Oh, oh...

Come on, let's go!

Come on, let's meet the fam. The two leggers.

Come on, not today!

Come on, people. Don't be shy.

Come on, Phil, get off the phone. Brian's going to bed.

Come on, Phil, let's go!

Come on, Phil! Not again.

Come on, Phil. Channel your inner canine.

Come on, Phil. It's like you're not listening to them.

Come on, sell it, man. Sell it.

Come on, walk with me. We got work to do.

Come on, we have to get ready for the competition.

Come on, we're burning daylight.

Come on, we're out of here.

Come on, where am I? Just give me one little scent of home.

Come on, you can do it!

Come on!

Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on, concentrate!

Come on. I feel like we're forgetting something.

Come on. It's just water.

Come on. Let's go home.

Come on. Let's go. MAZIE: "Really pretty" what?

Come out to the big show and see the next World Dog Champion!

Come to buy some shampoo, fleabag?

Come to daddy.

Come watch Giuseppe rip it up!

Coming through!

Competition's starting. Beat it, Hasselhoff.

Congratulations, Marmaduke.

Congratulations, Phil.

Constant underachievers.

Cool, thanks!

Cool! I'd like that.

Cow that oinks. I think it's cool!

Crank it, DJ Thunder!

Crazy as a bullbat.

Dad, everyone loves it.

Dad, please, I'm begging you.

Dad, why can't Marmaduke join the party?

Dad! Dad!

Day in the life of old Marmaduke, here.

Deal.

Deal.

Debbie, help!

Debbie, you got to listen to me.

DEBBIE: Are you okay? SARAH: Hi, Dad.

DEBBIE: I love it! Great job.

DEBBIE: Marmaduke!

DEBBIE: Phil. No!

DEBBIE: The only way this move was ever gonna work out

DEBBIE: Wait. Pink?

Debbie's pretty cool, and my main food hook up.

Definitely time to find that obedience school.

DELINQUENT DOG: (LAUGHS) Come on! Let's go, go!

Demonstrating the mesmerizing power of the Afghan’s sparkling fur!

Did he just look at me?

Did I say you could get up? I'm sorry!

Did I say you could get up? MARMADUKE: No, no. Please!

Did my legs shrink?

Did the circus give you guys the day off?

Did you agree to that?

Did you leave these on the table in there?

Didn't think so. Welcome to the O.C., mutt.

Diggity dang that dog!

Dish soap.

Dizzy!

Do I know you from somewhere?

Do you have any idea how humiliating that is?

Do you really think he's got the pedigree and winning form of a world champion?

Do you think any of this stuff would work with girls?

Does anyone even own a pet in this place?

Does everyone here have rabies induced insanity?

DOG 1: Let's get out of here.

DOG 1: Yeah!

DOG 2: Total poser. Where are you going?

DOG 2: You totally shredded, dude!

DOG 3: Come on, Duke, you can take him.

DOG 3: Loser!

DOG 4: Party at the pier! All right, let's go! Party!

Dog Vader over there is the man himself, Bosco.

Dogs and owners, make your way to the shore. Cowabarka!

DOGS: (CHANTING) Duke! Duke! Duke!

DOGS: (CHANTING) Fight! Fight! Fight!

DOGS: (CHANTING) Jump! Jump! Jump!

DOGS: Fire truck!

Dogs.

Dogs.

DON ON PHONE: Winslow, Twombly.

DON: Bark Organics dominates the California market.

DON: No, no, no.

DON: Winslow!

DON: You're lucky I had a favor to call in.

Don's a bit eccentric, but that's what makes him so successful.

Don't be a wiener dog! Just dance along to the flashing arrows!

Don't be silly.

Don't be so nervous.

Don't be so sensitive.

Don't be you!

Don't just stand there, do something!

Don't let the doggy flap hit you on the way out.

Don't make me laugh.

Don't move.

Don't push it, okay?

Don't worry about coming in today,

Don't worry. I was just checking my blood sugar.

Done.

Down and out.

Down here!

Dream date? What is she talking about?

Dude, we got it all on tape. We're putting it on YouTube!

Due to Guy Hilton’s accident.

Duke! ALL: Duke! Duke! Duke!

Dying to.

Ears up. Like this?

Easy peasy, lemon

Easy, big boy.

Easy! FIREMAN 6: There he is.

Ejector seat. Never fails.

Eleven o'clock, Phil.

ENGLISH US PSDH

Enjoy the rest of your party, mutt.

Even Barbara was trying to lend a hand.

Even for the world's greatest dog trainer…

Every dog just needs the proper training to bring out their inner champion.

Everyone's having fun, loosen up!

Everything I do is for us.

Ew.

Excellent.

Fantastic, Marmaduke!

FEMALE DOG: Nice catch, Brad.

Ferdinand is fluent in six languages, including gopher.

Fight! Fight!

Fine, have it your way, losers.

Fine. You want to play hardball?

Fire truck!

Fire truck! MAZIE: Heel!

FIREMAN 1: Go! Go! Go! Go!

FIREMAN 2: All right. Get me two more guys here.

FIREMAN 2: Get him out!

FIREMAN 3: Come on, girl, it's okay.

FIREMAN 3: Up, up, up! Let's go!

FIREMAN 4: He's out. He's out.

FIREMAN 4: You guys, easy.

FIREMAN 5: I'm sorry.

FIREMAN: Come on, boy! Hurry!

First of all, you weren't invited here, Bosco.

First things first.

First, you got your jocks.

Focus. Got it.

Follow me.

Follow my movements.

Follow the pose.

Food!

Food!

For showing me how wrong I was.

Forget about him.

Freedom!

Freezing, freezing!

French…

From his girlfriend or he'll kill you.

Fuchsia. That's how they roll in Cali.

Geronimo!

Geronimo!

Get back here, you good for nothing little fur ball!

Get him! Get him! Yeehaw!

Get me off this thing! Help! Marmy don't surf!

Get me, Phil!

Get me. Phil, get me!

Get some earth between your toes.

Get some rest. Tomorrow's a big day.

Get up.

Get your dog under control, you understand?

GIRL: Bodie is so gorgeous!

GIUSEPPE: (STUTTERS) They're rich, and they're spoiled

GIUSEPPE: Because they're not afraid to live?

GIUSEPPE: Guys, I'm telling you, the tide is rising!

GIUSEPPE: He also sleeps on a giant pile of his victims' bones.

GIUSEPPE: I can't believe we survived Chupadogra!

GIUSEPPE: I smell rain, and I did not dress for rain.

GIUSEPPE: I thought you said he'd be here.

GIUSEPPE: I'm a monster!

GIUSEPPE: No luck here.

Give me that.

Giving all for the goals

Go ahead. Come on, it's your turn. Jump!

Go find somebody else to drool on. We're through with you!

Go home, dog.

Go home.

Go on, get out of here. Get! (COUGHING)

Go on, go!

Go on. Dive in.

Go with him. Go.

Go, go, go!

Go, Marmaduke!

Gonna need to let that breathe a few days.

Good boy! Good boy!

Good boy.

Good luck to you, too.

Good morning, Orange County!

Good night, buddy.

Good night, Phil.

Good night.

Good old boy.

Good one, Marmaduke. [groans]

Good to meet you guys. Hey, you come here a lot?

Good, you got it! Take her first.

Good. The small ones ain't got enough meat on their bones.

Gordie, no! No, not on Debbie's rug!

Gosh, I love you guys so much.

Got it. No problem.

Got to keep it up, never let my head drop

Grab here, Phil! Grab on to this.

Great news!

Great, it's gonna be a really good party!

Great, right?

Great, we're getting mad dogged. Let's bail!

Great! Okay, now I'm catching a cold.

Great.

Grip it and rip it!

Gross.

Guaranteed to turn your dog into a dream…

Guy Hilton is our only hope. [sighs]

Guy Hilton, here with the star of the "Pool Flop Fail,"

Guy Hilton.

Guy Hilton's attempt to win the championship with a rookie dog

Guy wants us to pay for the training costs.

Guy was right.

Guy won the last six World Dog Championships in a row.

Guy?

Guy?

Guy.

Guys, I'm really excited about spending this weekend together.

Guys, if I don't nail this, I'm done.

Guys, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Guys, what's going on? Let's go.

Ha!

Ha!

Ha!

Hairball. (SPITS)

Handmade by me and my brother.

Hang on a second. Did you check out that doggie door?

Hang on, give him a chance.

Hanging out with you these last few weeks,

Harness coming down!

Has ended in a terrible injury.

Have it your way.

Have you ever looked at your paws?

He acts like it's a great big romp, doesn't he, Travis?

He ain't nothing, watch.

He could get hit by a car.

He destroyed our home!

He doesn't look like he's gonna make it.

He gets that way because he's a jerk.

He has a backyard, you have a couch.

He looks like me after Taco Tuesday.

He needs his medication!

He ran out the back gate about an hour ago.

He refuses to listen to me!

He said he might stop by after the pedigree party,

He shimmers like gold!

He told him. You told him, like, 12 times...

He was gonna ask me to the Spring Dance,

He was loved by all.

He was up there.

He wouldn't be able to resist Shantrelle.

He'll be back, right?

He's a dog, Phil! He doesn't know any better.

He's a Great Dane! He's huge. He's twice the size of your dog.

He's a handful.

He's a heap more dog than I ever had him figured for.

He's a marketing guy for a local pet food company.

He's a real confidence booster. Of course he is.

He's better than me, isn't he?

He's cooped up in the office all day. Come on, Phil.

He's cute!

He's definitely Midwest.

He's going, not us!

He's gone too far, Dottie.

He's gone. He got busted with Phil and had to sleep outside.

He's gonna sting me and give me rabies! Phil, Phil, get rid of him!

He's not a loser!

He's not at the dog park either.

He's pretty cool for a cat, which helps,

He's quite sensitive.

He's the challenge that I've been looking for.

He's the toughest dog around.

He's way better than those lame purse dogs.

Heel.

Hello, Amy.

Hello, Cali!

Hello, Guy.

Hello, losers.

Help me! Help me!

Help me! Why do bees hate me?

Help, help, don't let me fall!

Help!

Help!

Here goes nothing.

Here I come!

Here you go, sir.

Here, get your snorkel. Let's go, let's go.

Here, let's see if he says no to this awesome hole I'm digging.

Here's the deal. Girls want romance.

Here's your birthday doggy.

Hey, Barb! Who are your friends?

Hey, Barbara!

Hey, Bri.

Hey, Brian, wait up.

Hey, Brian, you okay? BRIAN: Yeah.

Hey, buddy, we're talking here.

Hey, buddy. I just wanted to apologize for how I acted earlier.

Hey, check it out.

Hey, Dad. What are you doing?

Hey, Deb.

Hey, everybody, watch this!

Hey, Guy, where's my protein shake?

Hey, guys!

Hey, guys.

Hey, Hansel.

Hey, hello.

Hey, honey!

Hey, I know you. You go to Marshall, right?

Hey, I wasn't done with that!

Hey, I'm talking here!

Hey, is it just me, or is it getting a little out of hand?

Hey, is this your party, dude?

Hey, let me out of here. I'm not an animal!

Hey, Marmaduke, come on, let's go!

Hey, Mazie! What's up?

Hey, Sarah, where you going?

Hey, Shantrelle.

Hey, that's my name!

Hey, that's part of my look!

Hey, this is my step bro, Carlos, by the way.

Hey, wait, what are you doing? Don't go over there!

Hey, what's a dog like you doing out here, anyways?

Hey, what's Hasselhoff doing here?

Hey, what's the new surf champ doing out here all alone?

Hey, where are you going?

Hey, whoa, whoa. Watch it!

Hey, yo, when I wake up moaning, yawning

Hey, you lousy mutt!

Hey, you must be Mazie.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! You got the wrong guy!

Hey.

Hey. I'm just kind of here, taking a break from the old family.

Hi, Don. Winslow, where the heck are you?

Hi, there.

Hi! Phil Winslow.

Hi.

Hi. Morning!

Hi. Sup?

His girlfriend over there is Miss Perfect, Jezebel.

His heart was always in the right place.

Hit it, boys! (BARKS)

Hmm?

Hmm?

Hmm?

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. [grunts]

Hmm. He's right.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Olé!

Hmm. I've heard that before.

Hmm. You are no longer Marmaduke.

Hmm…

Hmm…

Hogging my favorite chair.

Hold on, Phil. Brian's got something to tell you.

Hold on. I'm coming, Mazie!

Hold still, Marmaduke.

Hold your horses.

Honestly?

Honey, anything could happen

Honey! Honey! Right there, look!

Honey?

Hope you got what you wanted.

How about a peanut butter appetizer?

How can this be?

How cute is she? And she's my biggest fan.

How did it come to this, Phil?

How do you know?

How do you think that makes me feel?

How does a dog get muscles like that?

How much farther?

How's my breath now?

How's that gonna sell organic dog food to the heartland?

Huh! Looks like I'm not the only one terrified of bees.

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh? Wha? [grunting]

Huh? What are you guys doing?!

Huh.

Huh. That's too bad.

Humiliate the innocent.

Humph.

I acted like a big shot and lost all my friends, my family.

I almost got almond butter.

I am a golden dog!

I am a tiny monster.

I am also the only person to ever win the World Dog Championship

I am going to rip those stupid floppy ears off your head!

I am?

I am. I'm standing my ground!

I call him Doctor No sometimes,

I can make you into the dog you wanna be.

I can measure, first hand, who I'm dealing with.

I can see forever!

I can tell a lot about a man by the way he treats his dog.

I can tell I need to earn your trust. Let me show you something.

I can turn your dog into a champion.

I can't believe I did it.

I can't believe I thought you had a shot at greatness.

I can't believe I'm really here with you.

I can't believe you made it.

I can't do it.

I can't do this!

I can't let my son charge kids from the neighborhood to meet our dog.

I can't.

I can't. Trust me.

I can't... I'm too scared.

I couldn't think of another girl I'd rather share it with.

I didn't do anything, Bosco!

I didn't do anything!

I didn't get a good look.

I didn't just lose.

I didn't want him to run away. God!

I didn't want to disappoint you, but you weren't really listening.

I don't bite.

I don't care how freakishly large you are, Donkey Boy.

I don't care if it's raining, I'm done. He can sleep outside.

I don't care what everyone thinks of me

I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.