The Neighborhood (2018) - Season 3 Edit

A $5,000

A Anything. What...

A around here, we look out for our neighbors.

A Betsy Wetsy strapped to your chest?

A better ending than that.

A bridge connecting our houses.

A bunch of people over and surprising him

A bunch of poop emojis to let him know

A corn dog?

A crowd had gathered around us.

A donation? You?

A few more bungee cords.

A few questions before you start?

A fightbetween you and your dad.

A flashy song and dance man

A friendiversary is about us.

A full range...

A fully articulated bionic limb designed to make

A gift from all of us, right?

A list of orders.

A litter of adorable kittens.

A little flash and a little swag.

A little more difficult,

A little sense of adventure.

A little weight training? Some cardio?

A lot more time where's it's just...

A lot of happy memoriesof you boys playing in yours.

A lot of people have been comparing me

A lunch lady today,

A pillow? W Why a pillow?

A puppy and an Xbox might help me get there.

A real computer chip off the old block.

A really thoughtful card.

A Romulan and a Borg.

A rope swing.

A squirrel just didand I think he knows something.

A stolen school bus parked out on our front lawn.

A stun gun?

A tree house, huh?

A way to get us out of here,

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! I cannot believe

Aah! I I am so glad you feel that way.

Aah. Oh, man.

About giving away Grover's baby stuff that made me realize

About me getting too many speeding tickets.

About our emotions without you going straight to sex.

About saving the planet.

About sibling dynamics.

About than the education of our children.

About the barista at Starbucks,

About the big move to... right next door.

About the issues that affect our community.

About what?

About you dying on that motorcycle anymore,

About your oil change special.

Absolutely, Calvin. And your gesture is proof

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. Look, Marty,

Abstain from sex for a month.

According to Dr. Chen, when it comes to sibling dynamics,

Actually, actually, that's not true, either.

Actually, Calvin,I asked Marty to come back.

Actually, I baked that batch.

Actually, I came back because I wanted to make a purchase.

Actually, I think it's a mystery novel.

Actually, I think we're good.

Actually, I want to keep this kind of quick...

Actually, I was originally drawing the Rock,

Actually, I was talking about your emotional intimacy,

Actually, I'm here about something else.

Actually, I've had it for a while.

Actually, it'’s four hours.

Actually, it's because you're white.

Actually, let's just make it anonymous.

Actually, Mom, mansplaining is when somebody...

Actually, most of them are calling you a giant coward.

Actually, no. You know, it's really weird.

Actually, sometimes theyuse chocolate chips.

Actually, that's Star Wars.

Actually, that's the healthy food. My snack shelf

Actually, they say you're in amazing health.

Actually, uh, M Marty,

Actually, we're not playing the fundraiser.

Actually, what I want to do is

Actually, you didn't.

Actually, you know,

After a week, the choir quit.

After all of these years of listening to Dave yapping,

After all that jerky.

After all the mean things that you said about me.

After all those years of fighting,

After all,

After all, I'm an only child and I think we all know

After all, the healthier you are,

After all, what's the point of owning the most

After all, you know what they say

After all, you've only had two today.

After I finished the cupcakes.

After only being there for a year?

After that orange laxative, I know I did.

After that, the only thing that's left to do is to

After we see our couples therapist.

Afterdinner, but still.

Again, it's what neighbors do.

Ah, damn it.

Ah, don't beat yourself up.Mine isn't, either.

Ah, I can't. Why not?

Ah, I don't know, man.

Ah, I know, Ma. But I'm okay.

Ah, my bad.

Ah, no one said they wanted nails like yours,

Ah, ooh, ah.

Ah, please, they're justsilly cookies

Ah, see? I knew it.

Ah, terrible. You're never gonna believe what happened.

Ah, thanks.

Ah, we got your back.Amen, brother.

Ah, yeah. All my carpets are still here.

Ah, yeah. Well, so was selling my car to buy a diamond ring,

Ah, yes!

Ah!

Ah! Ow!

Ah. It's just a spoon.

Ah. What do you mean?

Ah. You know, I wish I could've met him.

Ah...

Ah...

Aha. Look who's back.

Ain't God good?

Aka one of the hottest peppers in the world.

Alexa, add a crapload of butterto my shopping list.

Alexa, set cookie timerfor 12 minutes.

ALEXA:Cookie timer set for 12 minutes.

ALEXA:I've added a crapload of butter

All around thisthing instead.

All committed the murders together?

All day tomorrow, so I'm gonna need you guys

All I have left is two strawberries,

All I know is I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep.

All I know is this is a much better deal

All I see is a Dave & Buster's.

All my stuff is backed up to the cloud.

All over the inflatable swan.

All over the place.

All right, all right, Johnson, it sounds like

All right, all right.

All right, all that's left is to put the rod up.

All right, all the food is prepped and ready to go.

All right, buddy, you ready?

All right, check this out.

All right, come on, let's get out of here.

All right, come on, let's start reeling it in.

All right, come on.

All right, everybody, dig in.All right.

All right, fine, but if I get in better shape than you,

All right, fine,we'll hammer in the nails.

All right, fine.

All right, fine. All right.

All right, fine. Fine. Fine.

All right, here I come!

All right, here it comes, here it comes.

All right, here you go, man.Thank you, brother.

All right, hold on, let me just finish this chapter.

All right, I'll give it a shot.

All right, I'll try the year Tina was born.

All right, I'm meeting Gemma for dinner, then going to art class.

All right, I'm serious, guys.

All right, let's get out of here.

All right, let's go.

All right, let's go. All right. [sighs]

All right, let's go.Hold on.

All right, let's try it one more time.

All right, look, look, I like what you'’re going for,

All right, Ma.

All right, Marty, let's hit the gym.

All right, my point is

All right, now I knowhow this looks, but I built

All right, now, Dave,

All right, now, remember, no matter how miserable Walter is,

All right, okay, how about this?

All right, okay, let's do it.

All right, so where does he keep his pillows?

All right, that's it. How do they look?

All right, that's the spirit.

All right, then fine.

All right, there's something we need to talk about.

All right, this is my fault.

All right, turn her on.

All right, well,

All right, well, how do I activate her?

All right, well, I mean, I guess I could tell you

All right, well, just give me a minute.

All right, well, let me get on behind you, then.

All right, whoa,whoa, whoa, okay.

All right, you got me to try some things

All right, you.

All right!

All right? Convince her that you guys are holding her back.

All right? You've got to organize.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. All right....while we take care of you.

All right. Okay, baby. Mwah!

All right. Well, I'm Walter.

All right. Well, let's try...

All right. You go first.

All right. You ready to do this?

All right.Grab that side.

All that and it's just a tire?

All that matters is that you're safe.

All the signs were there.

All the things that could've gone wrong.

All the time.

All the way over tothat telephone pole.

All these people here are to support my boy, Dave.

All these years I've been doing your laundry

All we got to do now is open the door

All we have to do is dig up some dirt about one of them

All you have to do is ask.

All you have to do is look outside.

All you have to dois taste them

All you lost was a piece of jewelry.

All your numbers look great.

ALL: Go.

ALL: What what?

Almost got eaten by a bear.

Although any man would be lucky

Although I am definitely happier than the lizard I splashed.

Although it may not be a hearse, I guess a moving truck will do.

Although you're not wrong.

Although...

Although...

Am I crazy, or is Calvin starting to move faster?

Am I doing this right?

Am I?

Ambush me with a debate?

An even bigger disasterthan the one you built us.

An excellent team buildingexercise.

An incredibly poquito,barely noticeable difference.

An Introduction to Drawing.

And a pretty squeaky voice, uh...

And a puzzle room here.

And a very oaky merlot.

And absolutely no one else's.

And after all that time together,

And agreed that we were done having kids.

And all over a stupid cell phone?

And all you did was try to make me look small.

And also, if they don't make a vest in your size,

And amazing balance.

And an empty DVR to fill with blooper shows.

And an unintimidating physique

And anyone who doesn't like it doesn't deserve me.

And anything else we need,

And apparently he's not afraid to show 'em.

And as a show of good faith,

And as I carried you from that burning building...

And asked me on a date.

And asked me out on a date.

And asked us for our statements.

And based on his childhood, you know,

And be the cool guy I never was.

And before I knew it, you were dating me.

And before one, too.

And best of all, when they get on your nerves,

And big fan of all the CSIs.Okay.

And boom "Ah, chipped tooth.

And both of yours' brother in law.

And boy, are they cozy.

And brainiac.

And bring you home, and that's what I'm gonna do.

And Calvin brought the boys by for trick or treating.

And cared for him and...

And catch fireflies all night

And catch some air.

And chased it with half a jar of bath beads.

And clearly, they're not going anywhere.

And connect with each other?

And construction workers taking pee breaks on your lawn.

And correct some of your spelling?

And Dave is at...

And detrimental to my self esteem.

And do nothing.What are you gonna do?

And do something fun with you instead.

And don't be afraid to use medical terminology.

And don't let that hard body fool you.

And don't pretend people weren't going crazy

And don't take this personally, but...

And don't think I didn't see you try to jump on that bus.

And enjoy a meaningful conversation?

And even if he had, it doesn't

And even if I was, it wouldn't matter,

And even if we go home empty handed,

And everybody loved that video of yours.

And everybody was safe, though.

And everyone who donates a bag of food gets a free oil change?

And expect him to show up.

And expose it for the world to see.

And F.Y.I., I like it the hard way."

And Fajita Fridays is mucho diferente.

And feed the hungry, right?

And fell out on the floor.I mean, who could blame you?

And figured I'd rake a few of yours.

And find someone who cares about this neighborhood

And finding you have a damn washer and dryer!

And fixing the place up.

And for anyone that wants to have a hell of a night,

And for the next three years, the church just played CDs.

And for the record, it was a Sadie Hawkins dance.

And for the record,there are

And from now on, I will stay out of it.

And get Gemma's phone back.

And get out of their homes.

And get their beauty licenses taken away.

And get you a car just as cool as the motorcycle.

And give Dave a call.

And go over there and water his lawn.

And go stop him?!

And God help you if you adjusted my seat, boy!

And God help youif you get it wrong.

And got good grades and dated the quarterback?

And grab a broom, because Calvin is about to

And grab my wallet!

And half a dried up cow.

And has way more hair coming out of his nose.Ha!

And have a race to see who can build an engine the fastest.

And he finally landed it.

And He is watching.

And he says he wants...

And he takes down bad guys, right?

And he wouldn't do anything about it.

And he's gonna get away with it.

And he's got a quote from The Hobbit.

And held him till the cops showed up.

And here's the best part.

And highlighting.

And his first words were a four letter one

And his name is Malcolm Butler!

And how I'm something called a Ravenclaw.

And how the shop has had its best year ever.

And hug him and just tell him I love him.

And I almost had to take a cold shower.

And I already got to yell at one fool.

And I also brought Dave.

And I am Malcolm Butlerand we are here on behalf

And I am really proud to be your big sister.

And I appreciate that, Ma, but I'm a grown man.

And I bet if I pull up

And I can get a license tomorrow.

And I can go by myself?

And I could move in, too.

And I could sense that something was wrong.

And I couldn't do a damn thing about it.

And I dedicate my entire clothing line to you,

And I did not like that answer.

And I didn't have time to go to the bathroom

And I don'’t know about y'all, but I love Earth.

And I don't need some therapist

And I don't want him having to lug all his dirty laundry

And I don't want to be those people.

And I don't want you telling me what I can and can't do.

And I gave 'em each a ketchup packet,

And I gave 'em money for pizza.

And I get even more dates.

And I got pee shy.

And I got to model in a few minutes.

And I got to say, it's cool to have a friend like that.

And I haven't gotten a raise.

And I just found the perfect picture for our profile.

And I just mean the picture.

And I know exactly

And I know, 'cause I play dirty, too.

And I look up, way up,

And I might even show 'em where I like to do it.

And I pretended that it didn't bother me,

And I promise you, I'll be safe.

And I put him there.

And I realized this face is too sexy

And I saw the words "bottomless lemonade."

And I shouldn't havecalled you soft,

And I swear, Mama, I think she's my soul mate.

And I think we should start off

And I thought embarrassingthat stuck up old hag

And I thought the velocity on the other end was impressive.

And I tried to say something, but...

And I turned the sprinklers on 'em.

And I want to be sensitive, so...

And I want to spoil the ending for him.

And I was like, "Hey, hey! There you go."

And I will never forget the looks

And I wouldn't want to bore you with all the details.

And I, for one, want to fix it.

And I... and I realized there's no way

And I'll just squeeze it and throw it on the floor.

And I'm about to fill the piñata.

And I'm gonna have someone to fart on!

And I'm gonna make sure that you do.

And I'm gonna wear it wherever we go.

And I'm just supposed to be on board with it?

And I'm not just talking about blowing all our air miles

And I'm not thinking of an excuse to go inside.

And I'm preparing myself to be wedged under a tire.

And I'm really sorry I made you look bad

And I'm sitting here helpless. Who can think about dinner?

And I'm sorry.

And I'm sure the kids won't, either.

And I'm wearing a low cut blouse.

And I've always been good at sewing,

And I've been trying to hide it ever since.

And if I didn't let you stay here,

And if I ever say anything

And if it does break, let your husband do it.

And if Mom can't deal with that, then that's her problem.

And if owning who you are is not cool,

And if they were, what could that possibly mean?

And if you ask me, that's God speaking through real estate.

And if you buy tonight, I will throw in...

And if you don'’t show up,

And if you elect me your next city councilman,

And if you say the tree house,I will be shocked.

And if you're gonna saypee your pants, well...

And in District Three...

And in light of our newfound peace,

And irresponsible my dad is.

And is willing to pose nude in front of strangers, well,

And it always goes bad.

And it doesn't matter to you

And it is tearing uppeople's cars.

And it keeps going to voice mail.

And it still fits.[chuckles]

And it went the other way.

And it will help our boys learn to be homeowners.

And it's my decision, not yours.CALVIN: Whoa, whoa.

And it's nice to finally meet you face to face

And it's still not up to the standards

And it's time you started treating me like one.

And just kill me now?

And just like that, Gemma's baby

And just like you shouldn't let Tina bully you

And just watch me suffer like this?

And kill the champagne.

And last but not least I signal for the bust

And leave him at a, at a real farm.

And less creepy staring contest.

And let the house sell itself.

And let the pizza guy up the elevator.

And look at that.

And love for all God's children.

And made her impossible to calm down.

And made in Korea.

And march on that police station today.

And Marty said he'd only go

And may the Force be with you.

And mine's a doozy.

And more importantly,

And more importantly,Grover won't lose any of his.

And more like a J.Lo.[chuckles]

And more you're like, "This dude?"

And most important, we're not giving the Heimlich.

And my box... Aah!

And my two sons who are both Navy SEALs.

And my wolf painting.

And no matter what happens, you always have my back.

And no one around here is getting any sleep.

And not one where you open the door and you're outside.

And now he's gonna know that she doesn't have to sit around

And now neither one of us can bring ourselves

And now she wants us to go back today.

And now she's cutting me off for a month.

And now we do it on Tuesdays and Fridays.

And now you want me to back down?

And now, wouldn't it be nice for your wife

And obviously she loves you, too,

And okay, I I may not be able to express my feelings

And on and on about some problem from his life

And one of them is when your wife starts hanging out

And our all time favorite,

And our favorite

And play with the siren.

And pretty soon I was selling

And put his hand on his gun.

And redistributeour body weight, that should

And ride a rainbow home.

And ridicule the younger sibling.

And rip Victor's beating heart out of his chest,

And rode her suitcase around a luggage carousel.

And say we're looking for someone within a mile radius.

And saying you were out of shape,

And scheduled yourcolonoscopy.

And see what's going on?

And set on fire.

And she begged me not to tell LaTonya.

And she expects us to fix it all.

And she has the voice of an angel,

And she has to look perfect.Cool.

And she loves going to see Dr. Chen.

And she says she's into sci fi,

And she was dead."

And she wrote your name as "Martha" on the cup.

And shipped himself home.

And since he's visitinghis grandmother for a few days,

And since the fiscal calendar starts in June,

And since you did, I know,

And Sister Sabrina is my referral.

And so much more.

And some hair.

And speaking of boring, here's Dave.

And spent the whole night falling on your ass?

And start making up for that month we missed.

And started beating him up.What?

And survive temperatures down to 500 degrees below zero.

And take it from me,

And take over the neighborhood. Mm.

And talked about our feelings?

And tell himyou deserve a raise.

And tell us which oneyou like better.

And thank you, Malcolm.

And that always goes bad.

And that doesn't bother him?

And that means neither am I.

And that number is even worse for Black men.

And that they should expect more from him.

And that Tina will beat the hell out of Dave.

And that'’s what you set out to do.

And that's all you got?

And that's okay.

And that's only because of what you did at the barbershop,

And that's Walter.

And that's when I hopped. That's when I hit the curb,

And the doctor says I can't drive myself,

And the fact that you love coming back

And the lowest prices in town.

And the lunch lady even gave me her phone number.

And the other half are from Tina's church.

And the Rock.

And the walls fall down.

And the wine looks really good.

And then all of a sudden you change your mind

And then firing off tear gas and all hell broke loose.

And then I came out, and there was some kids

And then I decided to do it anyway.

And then I get hurt stretching.

And then I would've laughed too loud

And then I'm a tie abungee cord and run it

And then put me to sleep with a massage.

And then said he was gonna come back the next week

And then the cops showed up in riot gear.

And then the kids, they was like "Save me."

And then there's no more!

And then we'll be talking during the movie,

And then we're gonna bring up the rooster,

And then you just started punching in random numbers.

And then you'll have to walk over to the couch like this.

And then... and then I'll blow them away

And there is not a single word in here

And there they'd be, curled up together.

And there's all thesecool places that we...Nope.

And these five splatters of blood down here

And they gave us a ride to the gas station?

And they, they just threw him on the ground

And they'’re saying you ruined hip hop for them, too.

And this time I can't believe

And those girls have friends.

And thought I'd bring it over to you.

And throw it at him.

And to prove to you that I've turned my life around,

And to show you how far we'’re willing to go to get your vote,

And together, I believe that we can make

And transfer all my stuff into my tiny purse.

And transfer my stuff into my tiny wallet.

And Trey told them we weren't doing anything wrong,

And trust me, as someone who's had dreads,

And try to catch the whole car.

And use it to scare crows off my lawn.

And wants me to think about it.

And we both know I'm packing one hell of an exhibit.

And we can hang out?

And we don't get to find out who done it?

And we get all SeaWorld up in here?

And we got to drive all the way back.

And we just let bygones be bygones? No.

And we need to let him make his own decisions?

And we would've laughed our asses off together.

And we'’ll give you some cash.

And we'll get way more when Marty finds out

And we're going on after the ventriloquist,

And we're just Dadditudes' Child.

And we're ten years older.

And welcome to the neighborhood to you, little buddy...

And what bigger charity case is there

And what can I say? Things got hot.

And what's crazy is we were having hot dogs the next day.

And what's worse is you didn't tell me

And when I'm done, you will become

And when you do, I'll be right there.

And when you do, you're gonna make things better.

And where's my box, man?

And who is this guy?

And who put my phone number above the urinal?

And why are you acting so crazy?

And why did they get a "what what" and I didn't?

And with your support,we can push him over the top.

And yeah, yeah, I know people love to say

And yet, you're a soldier in their army.

And you always say no. Yes.

And you are very patient, too.

And you be good for Mommy.

And you better do it quick before that stains.

And you bring me back a freakin' corn dog?

And you call yourself a doctor?

And you can't help nobody if you dead or in jail.

And you can't kill a rooster?

And you deserve some of the credit, Gemma.

And you did it anyway.

And you don't want to hurt their feelings.

And you have such an awesome job at JPL, I thought I'd ask you.

And you know I I hate to miss the previews.

And you know what else?

And you know, we don't have the same DNA.

And you recommended her anyway?

And you said, "Yes, I can," and I said, "No, you can't."

And you storm my castle.

And you took it too far!

And you turn the sprinklers on me?

And you use other people's toothbrushes!

And you used it up when we stopped at

And you walking a number four combo plate.

And you were just standing there doing nothing.

And you were right.

And you wonder why I was Mom's favorite.

And you would've seen the look on mine,

And you, either, Calvin.

And you're a grown man pretending

And you're doing all this shading of muscles

And you're going swimming with that corn dog.

And you're gonna get a whole lot of this.

And you're not gonna get Dave.

And you're really good at it.

And your taste in music sucks.

And, besides, who else are you gonna

And, Dave, you know, your chord changes were all over the place.

And, guys, let me tell you something.

And, I mean, you got all kinds of projects around here, Ma.

And, if nothing else, you deserve to be celebrated.

And, uh, please, feel free to take your time.

And, uh, with the kitchen right here,

And, uh, you didn't hear it from me,

And, well, if David was actually named Calvin,

And, you guessed it, right there,

And, you know, every mama wants

And, you know, taking his mama to the school dance.

And...

And... and then there was the car show

And... I just can't think of the possibility

And... what what does she even mean by that?

Andcollects action figures.

Angelique, ignore Dave.

Animal shelter and give every customer a free rescue kitten.

Anita was hood before she was holy.

ANNOUNCER: And that concludes

ANNOUNCER: Stay tuned

Another 30. You are definitely getting your colonoscopy today.

Another baby ruins the whole theme.

Another happy couple who can see that coming here

Antonio?

Antonio.

Any birthday candles for that wish to come true.

Any family would love to live here.

Any part of Trey's "casino."

Anybody with half a brain

Anything dangerous or stupid.

Anyway, now that he's gone,

Anyway, you guys didn't come here to listen to me.

Anyways, I I love clothes,

Are gonna grow up.

Are some kind of clue?

Are there any birthdays in the house?

Are they saying they'’re gonna vote for your dad?

Are those bars as heavy as they look?

Are those handcuffs?

Are trying to have another baby.

Are you crazy?

Are you crazy? I can't abandon you now.

Are you crazy?!

Are you crazy?!

Are you guys crazy?!

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? Oh, that's ridiculous.

Are you kidding me? Yahtzee and Frisbee?

Are you kidding?

Are you kidding? 30 days without sex?

Are you kidding? It was great.

Are you kidding? No sex for a month?

Are you kidding? You can't just

Are you serious?

Are you seriously trying to compare

Are you starting to feel better about this?

Are you sure the hospital gave us the right child?

Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

Are you sure?

Are you taking that as a memory of your dad?

Are you...

Are, like, ten timeshotter than a jalapeño.

As a big pile of money from that developer.

As a professionalconflict mediator,

As fast as possible without any games,

As long as Malcolm is on that bike,

As long as we have that, who needs a silly little...

As much as we do.

As much fun as possiblefor Grover, but...

As of a few minutes ago, yes.

As skipping the doctor for nine years.

As the Forensic Mysteries marathon continues.

As they heed the call of the open road.

As we think we are. Which is why I don't feel bad doing this.

As, uh, someone who failed out of clown college, mad respect.

At a retirement community?

At any one of them for you.

At my favorite comic book store.

At Que's barbershop yesterday.

At the end of Mean Girls?

At which point, I'm sure he's gonna be very reasonable.

Auger bits,and the instruction manuals

Aunt Lorraine?

Aw, come on, baby.

Aw, come on, Dave.

Aw, damn!

Aw, damn.

Aw, I know you can't see it, but my cheeks are blushing.

Aw, I love Grover.

Aw, man, well, you won'tif you let my dad build it,

Aw, man!

Aw, man.

Aw, poor baby. I would hug you,