Daria (1997) - Season 2 Edit

A big party at Stacy's in four hours. Gotta dress.

A check?! Have you two forms of I.D.?

A fund raiser, I guess.

A game of cards?

A punishment for being smart.

A special assignment, Daria just for you.

A thousand times yes

About how fiction should do more than just entertain.

About that being mistaken for a brain thing?

About the competitive and discouraging aspects of grading

About the way you think things should be, not the way they are.

Actually, Anne Boleyn was no prize either.

Actually, we're here to ask Daria out.

Admiring it from the safe distance of my room.

After a few months, the teasing tapered off and...

Again.

Ah, Quinn. Quinn Morgendorffer.

Ah! I'm up!

Ah... Brittany.

All aboard.

All her challenges involve coordinating her shoes with the color of her date's eyes.

All I have to do is get, like, an A on my next essay and I'm fine.

All it will take is some commitment, dedication, and hard work!

All right, Quinn. Let me try to put it another way.

All you have to do is get off your toches and do it!

Along with his sister's admirer, Mr. Moreno.

An even bigger outcast than before

And a good morning to you, sirs.

And abandoning their fashion statements to wear all black.

And Brittany just kind of made noises.

And do you, Kevin,

And don't even ask me what was going on below that.

And each fall there's a new batch of freshmen to potty train.

And for once you'll have something to do on a Friday night instead of sitting around like a loser, you know?

And get a real job, he'll walk out of your life,

And he still didn't ask me out again.

And I believe I glimpse them now.

And I just saw him and I said hi and he pretended like he didn't even see me.

And I said, "Eggshell? I told you eggplant!"

And I think I'm getting one of those really painful cold sores.

And I'm going to audition for "Emily," the really cute sister.

And if I can't find it can I buy another one? Thanks.

And it occurred to me that you girls have turned out exactly the way I hoped.

And just think of the delicious dinner.

And maybe bring some joy into the drab lives of others who are less popular.

And one to gladden the stoniest of hearts.

And out of nowhere this woman comes on the line...

And Quinn should have a special one time reward for her one time effort!

And Quinn, you've taken all that energy and enthusiasm you used to direct toward being,

And run the reason by me again.

And she's the living proof.

And spending 20 long suffering years begging him to turn off those damn Broncos

And that disturbs me, because I don't have standards.

And that's no easy task. Believe me, I know.

And the big tryout came and you made the team.

And the real Robin Hood actually lived in the 1300s.

And then you bring up Quinn?

And there are lots of opportunities.

And thus with perfect bliss and melody, Palamon wedded Emily.

And turning them into fictional characters?

And what's my motivation again?

And while he's unconscious, I'm going to go out and get my tubes tied.

And you'll notice I don't make, like, a big thing about it.

And you're upset. You earned that resentment, it's your right.

And, pray, upon this dewy morning,

And...

Another masterpiece.

Answer him, Kevvy!

Anything a little brain power could fix?

Anything I can help with?

Anyway, so screw it, then, we never played a family card game.

Anyway, who said anything about revising my will?

Are you Barney?

Are you going?

Are you sure, sweetie?

Are you sure?

Are you sure?

Aren't you, Daria?

As far as I'm concerned, the only difference between school and prison is the wardrobe.

As the promise with which it offers up each gentle day.

As we finish our wonderful play,

Ask Pavlov.

Aw, thanks.

Babe, I've got a plan.

Babe, this is very important to me.

Backup singer. Ha!

Be right there, Jake.

Beautiful.

Because I was catching on so fast.

Because I was catching on so fast.

Because nobody plays a love scene like you, Kevvy.

Because now Quinn's going to see firsthand what is feels like to be a brain.

Because Sandi's head was so round and smooth and not flat and bumpy like the other babies.

Because they put in everything but the kitchen sink!

Because they put in everything but the kitchen sink.

Because today someone told me my writing was existential,

Believe me, I would do it myself, but I have a date.

Besides, I had to get out. Trent discovered a new chord.

Better yet, his tubes.

Boogie Bash '70s Revival Night?

Boy, I'm exhausted.

Boy, would I like to be there when those two tie the noose.

Boys, say hello to Mr. and Mrs. Morgendorffer.

Brava, brava!

Brava! Brava! Everyone.

Breast implants for chickens...

Bret Strand just asked me out.

Bring her back!

Bummer.

But even though you don't like this identity, somebody suddenly comes along and steals it from you.

But even though you don't like this identity, somebody suddenly comes along and steals it from you.

But has a real life all its own.

But I can't figure out what my characters should be doing.

But I don't want anyone to see my eyes.

But I just couldn't master the high bar.

But I like going over my will.

But I'm afraid you're not doing well in Language Arts

But if he cries, too, I'm dropping out of school.

But lately, it seems kinda of, I don't know, flat.

But look what your perfection has done to me.

But look! Here approaches Mr. Lane himself,

But now it's time to give someone else a chance to audition.

But only more homework awaits."

But that girl is so weird.

But that winter, I learned how to write while holding a pencil in my teeth.

But that's the challenge of the fiction writer, Daria.

But we can talk about it.

But what about a higher reward for maintaining a standard of excellence over time?

But what do I get to rule?

But what do the backup singers do?

But what if Meryl Streep here gets the part?

But who?

But why should men get all the good jobs?

But why? Is it something I said?

But with any luck, we shall have sport.

But won't that demotivate your other daughter, whose work is consistently good?

But won't that demotivate your other daughter, whose work is consistently good?

But you, Quinn, with your... special talent, you said,

But you'll be better off without him. Much better off.

But you're so smart, and this essay's so important.

But, rather than punish him,

But...

But... aren't I Palamon?

By the way, how's Quinn?

Can I ask you something?

Can I have your boots?

Can renegade surgeons transplant your brain while you sleep?

Can't stop to talk.

Can't. We're full up.

Closing credits Supergrass Alright

Come on, because of one little essay?

Come on, Daria, we're sisters! We gotta stick together.

Come on, Jake.

Come on, kiddo. You want to encourage your sister, don't you?

Come on, man...

Come on, Quinn's play's about to start, anyway.

Come on.

Congratulations on Quinn getting the lead in the play.

Consider how drunken Lot pervertedly slept with..."

Cool!

Corey, I just came down to say I can't see you tonight. I have to write an essay.

Could you help me with something?

Could you possibly be referring to the harsh light of reality?

Could you put that away? They're everywhere.

Crazy old jerk!

Crusades! Crusades!

Da ad! I need someone to help me rehearse my lines.

Dad, let's say you have an identity that you didn't even like...

Dad, talking to you has made me feel better about myself

Dad, you revised your will two weeks ago

Dad, you're not helping me...

Dad!

Dad?

Daddy, why are you so morbid?

Damn kids!

Damn!

Daria and Jane walking to school Iggy Pop Lust for Life

Daria at locker Pond Spokes

Daria dresses up like Quinn Monaco What Do You Want From Me

Daria should have a consistent reward for her consistently good work.

Daria, are you in there?

Daria, do you have to look at everything in such a negative light?

Daria, do you think... someday...

Daria, every week you write that column of yours,

Daria, I apologized for not helping you before.

Daria, I have to rehearse.

Daria, I woke up in the middle of the night with a hankering.

Daria, I'm sorry about not being more sensitive earlier.

Daria, if you look your best when you blow a guy off, it makes them feel like you care.

Daria, is there anything you want to talk about?

Daria, the easiest thing in the world for you is being honest about what you observe.

Daria, this fair is for a very good cause.

Daria, we need to be encouraging.

Daria, what I mean is...

Daria, what will you be doing at the fair?

Daria, you know I'm a big, big fan of your writing.

Daria!

Daria! How's the special assignment going?

Daria?

Daria?

Daria? Daria, the TV's not on.

Daria? Daria! What about their wedding?

Daria? Quinn?

Daria...

Daria's right.

Deal me in.

Dear sister, I would hope that whoever does become lady lane

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Did a mime crawl in here and die?

Did she say "marry"?

Did she volunteer to get him a dainty transplant for his head so he could remember them?

Did you just spend two hours dressing up to go the door for one minute and dump your date?

Dinner theater; this is dinner.

Do exactly what I say, and I'll deliver the goods.

Do I get a tambourine or something?

Do I look desperate to you now?

Do I look desperate to you?

Do you need a powder, to cure the vapors?

Do you two know each other?

Does so out of regard for Mr. Lane and not for his estate.

Does this black match?

Doesn't comparing one sibling to another get you an automatic "F" in Parenting 101?

Doesn't that make sense?

Don't ask.

Don't people know the difference between good and bad?

Don't touch me, you Howdy Doody looking creep.

Don't we get utensils?

Don't worry, I'm through being an intellectual.

Don't worry.

Don't worry. Today it's brains, tomorrow pierced tongues, then the next day, pierced brains.

Don't worry. Today it's brains, tomorrow pierced tongues, then the next day, pierced brains.

Don't you have any depth at all?

Don't you know me at all?

Don't you think I want to be more like Daria?

Don't you think I would if I could?

Done.

Dressing in black is a fashion statement.

Drugs, peer pressure..

Easy, tiger.

Eeny meeny miny mo.

Errand we have none.

Ever since he retired he's developed such a wonderful perspective.

Everyone knows that eggplant is the current neutral.

Everyone should go.

Everything I do has already been done.

Ewwww! Bugs?!!

Excuse me.

Excuse me. You can't do this.

Family card game?

Fashion Club talking to Quinn Salt 'N Pepa Gitty Up

Fashion: good. Thinking: bad.

Feisty. Hey! Andrea! You like madrigals?

Fifteen.

Fine! I hope you realize you're making me do my own homework!

Flaky though he may be, one day, all of Devonheavenshire will be his...

For me, too.

For saying the same things that made me an outcast in high school.

For the school is my prison, and its teachers my imprisoners."

For this overripe specimen of femalehood standing next to you?

For which he is deserving of... death.

For which he's, like, deserving of death. Cool!

For your information, Daria,

For your information, this is how deep people dress

For your purposes, existential means

Gah, Helen! My stew... the stove's on fire!

Gee, thanks. That'll really help.

Genius.

Get out while you can!

Give me that!

Glad to hear it. Have fun.

Go watch something educational.

God, Mom and Dad, why won't you accept it?

God, Stacy, what's wrong? You look awful.

Good afternoon, young men.

Good bye!

Good day.

Good morning, Miss Morgendorffer, Miss Quinn.

Good morning, young people.

Good one, Morgendorffer.

Good one! Come on, I've got a special evening planned.

Great. There goes the only place I can go to be alone.

Guess again.

Guess you're wondering what old Dad is up to with the big stew pot.

Guys, can you help me out?

Guys, don't fight over me.

Guys, if you want to help me, find Kevin.

Guys, you're not going to believe this.

Hang on a second, Daria.

Hang on, I'm just ordering another tray of coconut daiquiris.

Has a duty that goes beyond the mere telling of a story.

Has anyone seen my really cute fuzzy pink sweater?

Has there been any further discussion about expanding your little family?

Have a nice day.

Have I grown another head?

Have you met Sam and Chris?

Have you my payment?

Have you my payment? The tender liver of a newborn babe?

He pardoned Robin and made him his special friend.

He's flaky.

He's not here and there's no one to play Palamon.

He's not worth it. No guy is.

He's talking about your essay in the Lawndale Lowdown.

He's talking about your essay in the Lawndale Lowdown.

Helen angry at Quinn Rage Against The Machine Freedom

Helen bothering Daria Plastilina Mosh Mr. P Mosh

Helen, I told you I was no good at this parenting crap!

Helen, let me.

Helen! Helen! What's the number for 911?!

Helen. Jake.

Hellooo. No, that's not a counteroffer, it's an insult.

Her writing's bad.

Here, just take it!

Hey, come on. Listen to my song.

Hey, dudes! Whazzup?

Hey, I wanted to come, remember?

Hey, it's the middle ages, pops.

Hey, kiddo!

Hey, my man! Cool threads.

Hey, Quinn, you're famous!

Hey, Quinn, you're famous!

Hey, wait a minute, "Brains

Hey, you going to eat that?

Hey! It's my daughter the genius

Hey! Why fight it, toots?

Hey! Ziggy!

Hi, Daria.

Hi, Quinn.

Hi, Quinn. I just wanted to stop buy and wish you good luck.

Hi, Sandi, Tiffany. Guess what?

Hi, you wanted me to... ...help somebody?

Hi! Could you get me a soda?

Hi. You know where Grandma's TV is.

His or her job is to tell a story in such a way as to leave the reader...

His to share with whosoever is lucky enough to become Lady Lane.

Hmm, let's see... soup stock, peppercorns, oregano, chilies...

Hmm... by the way, anything eating away at your soul?

Hmm... you may be right.

Hold it. I think I feel a poem coming on.

Honestly, Quinn, I'm just tapped out.

Honey, did you ever here the tale of the ant and the grasshopper?

Honey, it's not that you can't.

How about describing what you'd like to see, honestly?

How about it, Daria? Hearts?

How about Kevin and Brittany?

How are you, Mom?

How are you, Quinn?

How can you talk to me about Quinn?

How come you never complain about those little monsters of yours, Quinn?

How easy is that?

How's Dad? And what's he want?

How's Marcello?

Huh? Darn it!

I am the brave Sir Chuck, Sir Chuck, manly and strong and quick...

I believe Mr. Gardner feels it's the writer's duty

I can come up with all sorts of ideas, but none of them feels true.

I can do honest.

I can read your story?

I can't believe she thinks she should have gotten the part over you.

I can't compete.

I can't wait to taste this stew!

I can't write anything at all.

I can't write. I can't produce a simple story.

I cannot believe Quinn got the part over you.

I cannot imagine what for. Mr. Lane's temperament, outlook,

I care about what you have to say.

I could have sworn I had money budgeted for a new roof under capital improvements.

I didn't copy it, if that's what you mean.

I didn't think so.

I do, Kevvy... I mean Palimony.

I don't believe I've ever heard of an F+, Jordan,

I don't know where we'll get the money for repairs.

I don't know. Who would I write about?

I don't think I can survive being a super brain

I don't think so.

I don't think so.

I don't think the Fashion Club should participate in activities

I don't think you understand!

I enjoyed your column this week.

I especially like your unique inflections.

I even wore my crushed velvet tank top, the one with the scoop neck,

I felt so... naked.

I found it in the garbage and handed it in.

I froze. I couldn't say a word.

I get outraged, the readers get outraged, and nothing happens.

I got one, babe. I got one!

I gotta pay more attention when I get these addresses!

I guess she's speechless with joy that you and Kevin are going to be acting together.

I guess things are back to normal.

I guess. What?

I had a plan. We'll talk to that girl she knows.

I have a special surprise everyone.

I have a very sad announcement.

I have imagination.

I have no choice.

I have no story.

I haven't a clue.

I heard they got in a new bunch of sick birds.

I hope that didn't disturb your concentration.

I hope the other girls weren't too disappointed that you got the part over them.

I hope you're better at wielding a lance than you are at opening a book.

I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it... until now

I just need a little help with my essay.

I just wanted the play to go well.

I know it's not your fault,

I know, a game of cards!

I know, babe. Thanks.

I know!

I know.

I know. We gotta go.

I know. Who am I kidding?

I look around me, I describe what I see.

I mean, I get my essay written,

I mean, I really like the way this getting to Daria, but I'm starting to feel like a phoney.

I mean, if I were going to write about mating rituals,

I mean, it must be talent because you wouldn't emphasize the wrong words, would you?

I meant every student.

I might as well do something that challenges me as a teen

I need some time alone to work out my feelings.

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

I now pronounce you...

I pray the day finds you well.

I put in another twelve hour day and the first thing I see when I get home...

I really like your leggings.

I really suck at this.

I remember asking my father to play "go fish"...!

I said, do you, Kevin, assume legal responsibility

I should have said, "I don't need tutoring to write like her.

I suddenly remembered the old kitchen sink stew

I supposed we'll never know.

I swear, one of these days I'm going to slip something into Jamie's beer

I think I might be better off with a bunch of characters I just made up.

I think I'd go back a couple hundred years,

I think she's had about her fill of that.

I thought I'd be nervous, but I was cool as a cucumber.

I want to wish you even better luck.

I want to wish you the best...

I wanted more than anything to be on the gymnastic team,

I wanted more than anything to join the swim team...

I wanted to write something meaningful.

I was wondering how you'd feel about some one on one tutoring.

I wasn't finished.

I wasn't finished.

I wasn't invited to any parties for the weekend,

I will make a dainty garland for my head and sing.

I will make a dainty garland for my head and sing.

I will make a dainty garland for my neck and choke.

I will make a dainty garland!

I will make a dainty garland. I will make...

I will make a dainty garland...

I will talk to you tomorrow during office hours.

I wish I could, but I'm dead flat broke.

I wonder if anyone would notice the difference.

I wouldn't worry too much about it.

I, uh... what did you say?

I, um, was in a rush. Will you take a check?

I'd like not to do it.

I'd make them crawl, I tell you. Crawl!

I'll bet you didn't even know that the word "imprisoners" existed.

I'll bet you do, you, you high school Casablanca!

I'll go practice upstairs.

I'll handle her.

I'll handle this. You're absolutely right, sweetheart.

I'll never be like Daria.

I'll pass. Knowing the present is bad enough.

I'll pay you double.

I'll play Palamon...

I'll save you a place at the mirror.

I'll take the Vegas odds on that one.

I'll tune your pianoforte.

I'm a little short on livers.

I'm concerned about Quinn.

I'm going to cut out your tongue, your tongue, and fry it up on a stick.

I'm going to, like, observe the way a brain acts, and then we could act that way and be cool, too.

I'm going up to go talk to her.

I'm great. Goo goo.

I'm happy you're auditioning.

I'm just going to go run down to the animal shelter and see about volunteering.

I'm looking for something a little more... jazzy!

I'm not letting it get to me.

I'm offering to help you now.

I'm on top of the world.

I'm putting together an outfit.

I'm ruined.

I'm ruined.

I'm still not clear on what all this is about.

I'm supposed to write a story using people I know as fictional characters.

I'm sure you'll do a great job if you just put your mind to it.

I'm thinking about an assignment I got in school.

I'm too well adjusted.

I'm trying to keep a low profile since the paper came out

I'm very upset about this.

I've been known to do a little parenting in my time.

If I had a buck on me, you'd know I...

If only you were popular enough to understand.

If Prince Charming kisses you, you think you'll wake up from this nightmare?

If you get the part it'll be just like me getting it, only not.

If you really want to be honest, be truthful about what you'd like to happen.

If you squinted hard enough, maybe I'd look like a different Morgendorffer?

Indeed, his very manners are such as to arouse bemusement

Indeed, it promises to be a glorious morning,

Inquisition! Inquisition!

Instead of marrying and then shriveling up, like they do now?

Instead of trying to read a story for its moral dimensions,

Is an F+ the same as a D ?

Is something bothering you, Daria?

Is something wrong?

Is that a polygraph machine?

Isn't that great?

Isn't there ever a time when how you look doesn't affect how you're judged?

It involves thinking.

It probably had nothing to do with you anyway.

It seems that other girls are following your weirdo example

It started with a "P"?

It was Ms. Barch's idea.

It wasn't that bad.

It would disturb me if I were actually doing any writing.

It'll take me years to undo the damage.

It's a book. For school.

It's a funny thing, Daria.

It's a letter from Quinn's teacher.

It's a motivational thing.

It's a slippery slope. Behold, the future.

It's about setting goals in life and going after them.

It's Bret. He said he'd call me after our first date but he never did,

It's deep, it's meaningful, and it's slenderizing

It's for a good cause, okay?

It's got all that money!

It's great, isn't it?

It's in the Smart Thoughts column.

It's just... a strong parenting team is like a singing group.

It's more of a personal issue.

It's not like I want you there.

It's not like real work or anything.

It's not my fault Mom's making you come to this.

It's not too late to start over, Daria, it's not too late!

It's not very good, is it?

It's not... hygiene or anything...

It's okay.

It's only got 12 verses.

It's this idea of using people I know as characters.

Its truth is written on your thighs."

Jacks are wild.

Jake bribing Quinn and Daria The Charlatans UK How High

Jake, what are you talking about?

Jake!

Jake!

Jane, look carefully

Jane!

Jane's room Our Lady Peace Clumsy

Just because some jerk didn't ask you out on a second date.

Just do the audition with me.

Just some big crayons."

Just watch the information booth while I find Ms. Li.

Keep dreaming, Charles.

Keep it down, okay?

Kevin, you're really doing something special with Palamon.

Kevin!

Kevin!

Kevin! Kevin!

Kevvy, I could tutor you! I speak English too, you know.

Kill the dragon! Kill the dragon!

King Edward II busted Robin and his band of outlaws poaching deer.

Ladies... wait till you hear the Ballad of the Misunderstood Minstrel.

Last week, they were trying out for football, then they won one debate tournament.

Leaving a trail of muddy footprints behind on the freshly cleaned carpet.

Let me get this straight:

Let the sport begin!

Let us hope so, indeed, for nothing so recommends this world

Let's go over our last assignment, "How I feel about polyculturalism

Let's go to Cashman's and try on sequined gowns.

Let's go! Before there's a line at the drive in.

Let's play one now!

Let's see... a forest fire?

Let's see... nobody talked to me again this week,

Like bore him with your petty problems and convoluted logic.

Like, could you write it for me?

Like, did you know they pay money for those poems inside greeting cards?

Like, say a line for us.

Linda! Tom!

Listen to this.

Listen, I'm still available if you want help with your writing.

Look everyone! I wrote another poem while I was eating my fries.

Look, do you really want Quinn back?

Look, don't flush your entire world down the drain

Lucky for you, the Pulitzer committee already finished eating.

Man, what a good day to just kick back and chill.

Matches my mood.

May I ask what it is?

May I please change schools?

Maybe I can steal all the newspapers before anyone else reads them.

Maybe I should go talk to her.

Maybe I should say games of skill...

Maybe you don't have to write something meaningful, just something honest.

Maybe you're trying too hard.

Meet the avant garde obstetrician who's turned his castoffs into big ticket artwork.

Messing with the mind can be so dangerous.

Mine, either

Miss Quinn, may I get you a bracing spot of tea?

Mom, can I borrow...

Mom, Dad, making you happy is the greatest reward I can ask for.

Mom, if you're going to reminisce, I'm afraid I'll be forced to call Social Services.

Mom... you know I'm not ready for kids.

Mommy!

Mother said he appeared most anxious to call upon you

Mr. Lane left his card yesterday.

Mr. O'Neill was obviously looking for someone over the top.

Mr. White, if you'll just sign this waiver absolving Lawndale High

Much, much better off.

Must have been a huge seller.

Must have been cool to see the ox carts rolling through the streets,

Must stick head cold water.

My daughter, the crusader.

My friends will hate me!

My story sucks.

My tongue! Dear God, it's black! Helen!

My turn to read!

Nah. I'm cool.

Next!

Next!

No matter how dull that makes the story.

No matter what you decide to do in life, a solid education...

No way.

No, babe, I'm doing this for us.

No, I'm taking it easy in Tahiti for a few days.

No, I've written a lot of stuff, but it's not up to my standards.

No, it's mine!

No, just the two

No, me!

No, no, I believe you. The thing is...

No, of course not.

No, really, Corey, I have work to do and you have to leave. Sorry!

No, something. About something.

No, sweetie. As a matter of fact,

No, thank you.

No, that can get messy.

No, that could end in tragedy.

No, um, it's a mistake. We thought...

No, we'll have to come up with something

No! No! Please, not again.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. But you can read the one where you run away with Kevin

No. I'm trying out for the part of Emily in The Canterbury Tales.

No. No, absolutely not.

Not according to this.

Not again.

Not just anything, that says something about something.

Not so far. Everything I write comes out bad.

Not that you'll need it.

Not that!

Nothing says support like you and Dad leading a rousing cheer from the footlights.

Nothing.

Now I don't want to panic or upset you

Now, as I'm handing back your essays, you may have strong feelings

Now, come on, Daria,

Now, go practice.

Now, I know it doesn't take this long to drive to school.

Now, I know we don't take a highway to school, babe.

Now, I want everyone to take a minute and visualize the audience.

Now, Jeffy, all you have to do is read Palamon's lines

Now, keeping that in mind, I want you each

Now, let's bow our heads for a moment and remember poor James Dean.

Now, Quinn, I really think...

Now, who's next for Emily?

Now, why do you think it is

Of any responsibility for your accidental death, we can start the fun!

Of course not! I cut Science to talk to you.

Of course you did.

Of course, when other kids get a good grade, they sometimes get like a little present.

Oh no! I've been giving my poems away for free!

Oh, babe...

Oh, daddy, I was a stuck up little nightmare.

Oh, Daria...

Oh, Daria...

Oh, do I hear that.

Oh, fighting the same old curriculum battles against the rest of the faculty.

Oh, for the love of...

Oh, hey, Daria.

Oh, hi, sweetie.

Oh, I know how.

Oh, I'm sure she'll do a good job.

Oh, I'm sure...

Oh, it's so great to know I can count on my true friends.

Oh, Jake.

Oh, Kevvy. You're so smart. You're already a brain in my eyes.

Oh, let her go.

Oh, man!

Oh, my God, what has your father done now?

Oh, no!

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. What's the matter, Daria?

Oh, pal o'mine, who... who... who can remember all this?

Oh, Palamon, who has such love for me;

Oh, Palamon, who has such love for me.

Oh, Palamon, who has such love for me...

Oh, Quinn, your suitors are so numerous because you are so fair and good.

Oh, sister,

Oh, sure! Like, one day you wake up middle aged and resenting the hell out of it.

Oh, sure! You know, I played Guildenstern in college.

Oh, that's different.

Oh, well.

Oh, well. Everyone makes mistakes.

Oh, yeah, I know!

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Now I remember.

Oh, you guys. I'm just really popular.

Oh, you know that's not true.

Oh, you know, another day, another baby.

Oh. That's nice.

Okay, but I'm kinda in a rush today.

Okay, guys...

Okay, I'm all right.

Okay, now, what are the other students writing?

Okay, then you get to be... a super brain.

Okay. Come on, Kevvy.

Okay. I'm going to play a game of hearts with my beautiful wife and my two great kids.

Okay. See you tomorrow!

Okay. That's not a problem.

Okay...

On the unfortunate way, the biggest day of your life, has turned out.

One of our students has so improved since last week's essay, I'm going to share her work with the class.

One... two...

Only about important stuff

Only Quinn could turn being smart into a fad.

Or do a crossword.

Or do you want to take away my outfits, too? The End."

Or does it disturb you if I talk while you're writing?

Or have your ladies in waiting do it.

Or I swear by the unholy imp that spawned you, I will rule the land.

Or voluntarily face suspension.

Our own academic achiever.

Out of happiness. That's the sick part.

Ow! God!

People admire me for my brains.

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

Perhaps with compound interest?

Piled high with festering corpses.

Platform jellies!

Please accept my condolences

Please, take this in a constructive spirit

Please, you gotta let me on.

Pops?!

Power to crush my enemies, to triumph over all!

Power to crush my enemies, to triumph over all!

Pretty good. You know, every morning it's a little harder to get out of bed.

Provided you avoid the troglodytic behavior common to your sex.

Quinn and Daria with Mr. O'Neill The Kottonmouth Kings Suburban Life

Quinn asking Daria for help Rage Against The Machine Freedom

Quinn at cafeteria Ric Ocasek Next Right Moment

Quinn putting together outfit Talvin Singh Jaan

Quinn, Daria's very happy to be seeing you in your play.

Quinn, don't you think you've taken this popularity thing too far?

Quinn, honey, it wasn't that bad really!

Quinn, I'm so sorry, but we need to talk about your performance.

Quinn, if you don't want me to audition then just say so.

Quinn, this note came from school.

Quinn, what have they done to you!

Quinn, you're so smart!

Quinn! Your dates are here!

Quinn?

Quinn?

Quinn? Have you seen Kevin?

Quinn? Was there something you wanted to say?

Quinn? What is the meaning of this?

Quinn's tutoring me in English so I can stay on the football team. Mr. O'Neill set it up.

Quite the door of achievement.

Rather than endearment in the object of his attentions.

Reading something?

Really?

Really? I didn't see your name on the sign up sheet.

Really? Is that okay with you, Quinn?

Really? That sounds fascinating.

Really? When?

Really? Wow. I am concentrating.

Really. I mean, how hard it is to type stuff?

Réponses au blindtest :

Right

Right after you suffered a severe blow of the head.

Right here.

Right.

Rob my freedom with your reading and your thinking!

Robin was so grateful, from that day on he insisted on giving the king his bath.

Sandi? Tiffany? What are you guys doing here?

Say what the mists of time hold for me.

School runs us around and around until we yearn for the little food pellet.

Screaming for more full contact martial arts excitement?

See what I mean?

See ya.

See, I was trying to call the number for Movie Phone,

See, in another life, you were a woman, which explains why you have feelings.

She freaks me out

She had six fingers on her left hand, a big mole on her neck,

She said she's too mature to get upset at somebody else's incredible, unbelievable, undeserved luck.

She should be here any ...

She took it as evidence that I'm secretly not as alienated as I seem or something.

She volunteered to drive him so he could work on his lines.

She'll get over it.

She'll never have this kind of problem.

She's cute. There's different standards for cute people.

She's going to fail English because she's not putting in any effort

She's upstairs doing schoolwork.

Shh! I'm watching this.

Should we get our fortunes read?

Should we try out for the play?

Shouldn't we comfort her or something?

Shut up, Jamie!

Silence, toothless hag!

Simulating life in the middle ages.

Since the Black Death wiped out a third of the population in many places.

Sit down, Quinn. Honey, this isn't just about one essay.

Snicker, snicker, snicker! Damn it!

So all in all, another great week.

So her head was quite round, too.

So I practiced every day...

So I thought I should coordinate, you know, with wardrobe

So I thought, if I have to volunteer anyway,

So I wrote a stupid essay! What's everyone making such a big deal about?

So it turns out that my life up to now has been a sham.

So my evil plan is working.

So no one would pester him to do a sequel?

So she said,

So then Mr. O'Neill said I could skip the rest of his class and go to lunch early

So you going to show it to O'Neill?

So, how's the story coming?

So, then, he's not dating anyone now?

So, they'll have this dinner theater with a play by this guy, Ken Barry,

So, what are we doing here?

So, what Gardner is telling us is that the writer of fiction

Some kind of orthoscopic surgery?

Someone by that name does live here.

Something I wore? Oh, I wish I were dead.

Something that says something.

Sometimes boundaries can paradoxically provide us with freedom.

Sometimes I think I should have gone into television.

Sometimes your shallowness is so thorough, it's almost like depth.

Sorry, false alarm.

Sorry, safety regulations...

Sorry. You know, girls, I was going over my will...

Sort of a mini writing workshop.

Stacy, it's gonna be all right.

Stop it, you two.

Stop that foolish talk, Sandi.

Stop, stop! This isn't a story, it's real life!

Stop!

Stop!

Sure you will. All you...

Sure, and it can be any card game you want!

Sure, if you mean proud as in "stunned."

Take people you know and have them do whatever you want.

Take this pulchritudinous woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Tell me about it.

Tell me what the mists of time hold for me.

Tell me you can bring me power!

Tell me you can bring me power!

Tell you what: play you a quick game of five card stud for it.

Ten?

Thank you. By the way, do you know what existential means?

Thanks for meeting me here.

Thanks, babe.

Thanks, Dad.

Thanks, Daria. This is going to work out for both of us.

Thanks, guys.

Thanks, Jeffy.

Thanks. All right, twenty.

That can't be good.

That is a scary thought.

That is so weird. I am, too

That is unacceptable.

That may be the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.

That sounds interesting.

That Tolstoy felt he had to make War and Peace so darned...

That truly captures the spirit of student life at Lawndale High.

That was... very good.

That won't be necessary.

That's actually interesting because I'm just a little...

That's exactly what I asked him.

That's funny, they were here a minute ago.

That's great, especially since giving birth can be risky for women over 35.

That's great, honey.

That's it, Shakespeare. Do your own damn homework

That's my curse... and my burden.

That's my girl!

That's not how the Fashion Club works.

That's not the phone bill. I..

That's obvious.

That's right Quinn, because I'm going to read it aloud!

That's right.

That's so wrong.

That's so wrong.

That's the problem.

That's true, Quinn. I'm afraid I need to see you after class.

That's what I'm here for, kiddo.

That's why I'm president of the Fashion Club.

That's you!

The Cadbury Tales are, like, classic, and I think I'd be great in the play.

The custodian?

The day has suddenly turned sinister.

The frightening truth, next on Sick, Sad World.

The kids are going to love that.

The lead singer carries the tune, and the backup singers support her.

The library will be closed until further notice.

The medieval times were cool.

The one in white, son!

The Pardoner.

The school paper?!

The tender liver of a newborn babe.

The thing is, if she's a brain, what do I get to be?

The thought never crossed my mind.

The whole idea makes me uneasy and I'm not sure why.

The whole thing was, like, a runaway train.

Then how about a Ferris wheel ride?

Then it... started. The snickering.

Then she's got to be stopped. But how?

Then, after putting him through school

Then, do you think I should call him?

There is no Parenting 101.

There. Now it's on full display.

There's a challenge.

There's a problem, Quinn. We need to talk.

There's no course that can teach you to be a perfect mother.

There's some kind of riot going on in the auditorium.

There's somebody I want you to meet.

These long skirts are so hard to walk in.

They finish their delicious dinner and leap up as one in a standing ovation.

They had the meatloaf.

They laughed me off the stage, the jerks!

They took your identity, Daria? Then you walk away.

They used to serve us at the military academy!

They were here before... I think.

They're not.

They're this really weird shade of red.

This is an extra assignment just for me.

This is revolting. I think I'm going to be sick.

This list of books... I've read all of them.

This well liked teen crap.

Those who refuse to volunteer must voluntarily purchase a ticket for ten dollars

Tiffany says a cold front is coming through.

To get her own place, yeah.

To raise money for repairs, the school will be presenting a medieval fair,

To select a book from the list in front of you for a report on its moral intention.

To steer the reader toward more conscientious behavior.

To take what we learn in real life and turn it into something that's not really real,

Tough day

Triple bypass, Dad!

Try blaming this on dyslexia!

Try imagining it this way, Quinn...

Trying to wake people up to the truth.

Twenty

Ugh! Wait! You win, all right?

Uh oh, someone just put us in a position of responsibility.

Uh, babe... isn't that the turnoff for school?

Uh, I do, I guess.

Uh, kids, come back here.

Uh, shall we begin?

Um, a teensy bit self absorbed...

Um, actually, I'd like Kevin to stay on stage.

Um, babe...

Um, Brittany. Brittany? Brittany!

Um, do you want to talk to Quinn alone?

Um, I didn't get my essay back.

Um, I didn't get my paper back.

Um, I like them, Daddy.

Um, I was wondering if...

Um, is this Quinn's house?

Um, okay.

Um, that's what I want to talk to you about.

Um, would you like to pick another book to read then?

Um, you're not going to shake me, are you?

Um... no.

Umbilical cord sculpture, next on Sick, Sad World.

Unholy mother, sister of Satan, tell me what you see in your filthy brew.

Unholy mother, sister of Satan, tell me what you see in your filthy brew.

Unless we're in public, you mean

Unless you did something really stupid,

Unpleasant? Daria?

Until I walked on stage and found myself in front of the crowd standing room only.

Until Kevin gets here with his very good reason for sabotaging our play.

Very good, Daria.

Very, very soon.

Volunteers are desperately needed

Wait a minute

Wait.

Wait. Isn't that a double standard?

We await the other members of our hunting party,

We came by to wish you luck.

We can't. Someone stole the disco ball.

We might get on a poster.

We need someone close to her to make her see the error of her ways.

We never played a family card game in our lives.

We should at least tell her about that eight lane highway they built outside the house during the night.

We were just telling her how we wish she'd be more like you.

We were, but we donated them to the Museum of Glorifying Violence In Medieval Times.

We'll alter the assignment slightly.

We'll be the most popular ones there.

We'll say it should include an activity of some kind.

We're all so proud of you

We're going to be in a play together at the medieval fair.

We're human beings, damn it!

We're man and wife now.

We're preaching to the converted.

Well, anybody else would have said

Well, honey, I'm sure if you just give it another day or two...

Well, I can't help it if I have influence around here

Well, I was having so much fun reminiscing I thought, hey!

Well, I was reading my will, thinking about the past and the future,

Well, I'm off for my dates.

Well, if it isn't Jamie.

Well, it's more like, you didn't want this identity, but if they take it away, you've got nothing.

Well, it's not like it's going to get her anywhere.

Well, it's not like it's going to get her anywhere.

Well, let's see. Sandi was really nice about it.

Well, listen, now that you've got such a great attitude and everything,

Well, my labor with Quinn was only two hours, 20 minutes,

Well, no.

Well, not everyone can have the same...

Well, okay:

Well, poor Sandi's acting is a little subtle.

Well, that advice should prove very helpful.

Well, that sounds great in theory... I think.

Well, that still doesn't explain black clothes, but I guess I can let it slide

Well, there is some pleasure in winning awards

Well, triple bypass surgery will do that for a man.

Well, what's your definition of "true"?

Well, why don't you write a story taking people you know in real life

Well, you know, condition people to expect nothing and the least little something gets them all excited.

Well?!

Well... anything else going on in school?

What about all the As I get for free?

What about his car?

What am I gonna do? I can't be a brain!

What are you doing here? Bomb scare at your table?

What do you do?

What do you mean, Sandi?

What do you mean?

What do you think happened to the rest of this turkey?

What do you think that was about?

What do you want to do?

What errand is it that finds you guys abroad?

What I meant was, you hang in there and everything's going to work out

What if you wrote a story with moral dimensions?

What problem?

What would they do?

What, Kevin?

What?

What?

What? Anything?

What? Uh... no. I don't know.

What?!

What's going on?

What's hard for you is being honest about your wishes.

What's on your mind? I'm up on the issues.

What's the problem?

What's this?

What's wrong with her?

What's wrong?

When does the subject of compensation come up?

When I forgot where my math class was.

When Quinn has a challenge...

When the hell did you learn so much about me?

When the hell is this ride going to be over?

When women either married or shriveled up and blew away.

When you discovered your old gum wrapper chain in the attic.

When you donate an organ, unless it's your eyes. Listen, it's no big deal.

Where are the girls?

Where you surrender wardrobe autonomy to someone else.

Where's Prince Mack?

Who am I supposed to be again?

Who would like to start?

Who you going to write about?

Who'd ever believe you're having trouble communicating.

Who's laughing? What's so damn funny?

Whoa. Never mind. Return to your world, and I'll return to mine.

Whom shall I say is calling?

Why aren't you wearing costumes?

Why can't I ever be the one to talk to the girls?

Why can't you be more like Daria?

Why do you have to study during study hall, anyway?

Why don't we get together for a family card game just like we used to?

Why exactly is this great?

Why is your father...?

Why would I do that?

Why you little...!

Why, thank you. I heard the competition was pretty stiff.

With a hey nonny nonny, tra la, tra la.

Would either of you lovelies be interested in a madrigal?

Would you give it a rest?

Wouldn't that be funny to write about?

Wow, Daria. I never figured you for a lack of imagination.

Wow, so your story made your mother cry?

Wow, where's he going?

Wow. Quinn. That's amazing.

Wow. Would anyone like to share their reaction?

Written by Rachel Lipman www.outpost daria.com

Wrong? Uh, no.

Yeah, but now I can't wait to use it.

Yeah, but now I have a shoe thing. Strappies?

Yeah, but she's a brain with bouncy hair.

Yeah, but this is a special occasion, so Quinn gets a special reward!

Yeah, deeply affected people.

Yeah, I can see that.

Yeah, I didn't even write the essay.

Yeah, I just found out poems don't even have to rhyme.

Yeah, I might do writing for a career.

Yeah, me, too.

Yeah, that's what Camus would have done.

Yeah, the air was cleaner and there was less crowding

Yeah!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. A writer writing a book about how writers should write books.

Yeah. Really, really bad.

Yeah. Turn around and I'll give you one right now.

Yeah. We have more important things to do.

Yeah. We win.

Yes, but just think of all the new friends you'll make in Chess Club.

Yes, Daria?

Yes, I can bring you this power.

Yes, if only.

Yes, Jake, where are you going with this?

Yes, Jake, where are you going with this?

Yes, Kevin?

Yes, ma'am. Break!

Yes, right now. Before I commit justifiable homicide.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes! But don't worry.

Yes! Uh, I... won it in a raffle.

Yes?

Yes?

Yes?! Tomorrow! During office hours.

Yes.

Yes.

You are very, very wrong.

You asked to see me?

You calling me a wuss?

You can do it, Quinn!

You change your name, move to another state, get some ID.

You chime in at just the right moment and then you fade into the background

You could be left back and be the oldest freshman at Lawndale High.

You could write a thrilling romance leading up to their storybook wedding.

You do?

You don't even have lunch this period, do you?

You don't have to get personal.

You don't have to live with your mistakes!

You don't think I'm a brain, do you?

You gave this talk when I got caught cutting my...

You get an A, you should be rewarded. Here ya go!

You give birth to someone, you just get an urge to keep tabs on them.

You gloss over it with a cynical joke and nobody finds out what you really believe in.

You got my name right. Somebody actually...

You got that right.

You gotta bring her back!

You haven't been able to write anything?

You in television, Daria?

You just gave her a twenty for getting one A

You just keep telling yourself that.

You know what? I gotta get to work. Bye!

You know why they called it that?

You know, it's all right to have a heart to heart with Dad.

You know, it's like she read my mind.

You know, when I was in high school,

You know, when I was in high school,

You know, your other daughter.

You make me tell you what's wrong, in between calls,

You mean, no standards.

You mean, passing as in "passing or failing"?

You must be very excited about what people are calling you.

You need to start wearing a hat when you go out in the sun.

You really think so?

You see how it's done?

You suck. You suck!

You think I'd sit with you while my grade is at lunch?

You want me to put in a drum solo?

You will marry a man while still in your prime.

You wrote, "I definitely prefer all cotton."

You're about to learn firsthand the profit generating principles by which games of chance...

You're going to have to get an A on your next essay to maintain a passing grade!

You're in luck. One basket left

You're kidding!

You're officially ordered to take a fashion sabbatical until you get your priorities straight.

You're really talented, Quinn.

You're so smart, Sandi!

You're starting to feel like a phoney?

You're still a brain.

You're still a young man!

You're telling me you want to write something,

You're transferring to a new school?

Your cards also say that you and a still attractive coworker have a chance for unparalleled bliss,

Your father, on the other hand, seems to be getting younger every day.

Your lines!

Your wit and judgment assure that you will marry not only well, but wisely.

Bridge? Gin.

Daria... Don't bother.

Hearts. Done.

I guess. Wait, brainstorm!

I guess. Wait, brainstorm!

Yep. Let's go.

... and put it all into bringing up those kids.

... cesarean

'Cause, you know, I don't want anything to distract you from your performance.

"Academic Imprisonment," by Quinn Morgendorffer.

"Academic Imprisonment," by Quinn Morgendorffer.

"Brains" Morgendorffer.

"I got those eggshell leggings like you told me,"

"I will make a dainty garland for my head and sing."

"I will make a dainty garland for my head and sing."

"I will make a dainty garland for my head."

"I will make a dainty garland for my head."

"Like a hamster on one of those wheel things,

"No light shines through these four brick walls.

"Preserve me from the vengeance..."

"pseudo intellectual poser with accessories from the street fair."

"So go ahead! Lock me up with your homework and your tests!

"That lust proceeds from wine and drunkenness,

"That lust proceeds from..."

"The greasy fry, it cannot lie.