Pixels (2015) Soundboard Edit

About the ancient pyramid under the Hoover Dam!

Acting on your best behavior

After that, we will sing this about your precious planet.

All right, Brenner. Do me a favor. Take off, all right? I appreciate the help

All right, you finish that. I'll finish this

And focus on your wife.

And invent something that makes you a millionaire.

And it's time to show the world.

And Lieutenant Colonel Violet Van Patten

And listen to you lie about not wanting to make out with the yacht guy,

And the Donkey Kong champion of the world doesn't need patterns.

And those of us with long pants and government positions

And what you take what you is, what you leave behind

And, you...

Any time I'm getting on a roll,

Anyway, more to the current point,

Arcaders are comin'! Don't worry!

Back it up.

Brenner, get out! He's going to eat you!

Brenner, go straight.

Brenner, he's leading you directly towards one of the power pellets.

Brenner, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for cheatin' back in the day when we was kids,

BRENNER: Freeze, Chewie!

Brenner! Whatever you're doing, please hurry up!

Buddy you're a boy make a big noise

But apparently, you don't feel the same.

But at least you have a life.

But don't give yourself away

But I swear...

But of course, Will.

But we didn't threaten you! You saw footage of old games.

Chewie won't take my calls.

Come here. Check this out.

Come on, Brenner. Come on.

Come on, guys.

Come on.

COMMENTATOR 1: (ON RADIO) Past the shortstop into left center field for a single.

Cooper, it's open.

COOPER: No need to worry.

Damn.

Don't lock into radar.

Donkey Kong!

Dudes, in 12 hours, we'll commence with the all out destruction of Earth.

Eddie, never thought I'd see you again.

Every time I got to thinking

Everybody's going off the deep end

Fiance.

First of all, 208.

Five.

Forever.

Four.

Freddy, can you keep the riffraff outta here?

Game on

Game on

Game on

Game on

Girls like that who steal husbands,

Go! Go! Go! Move! Move! Move!

Guys, every time he hits a mushroom, he's gonna change direction!

He's got nowhere to go!

Hello, Big Apple

Hello. You can download Galaga on your phone for $1.99

Here, grab onto my mighty hammer.

Hi.

Hooyah.

How'd you get into my van?

Huh?

I can't afford to go to college because of you!

I can't do this.

I couldn't even beat Eddie Plant!

I didn't do anything. (STUTTERS) I thought we obeyed every rule.

I don't know.

I finally had the one thing I wanted

I got warrior blood I fearno heir

I guess I should just start settin' this stuff up right now.

I have brokered a peace treaty with the alien invaders

I hope he don't zap me with his space gun.

I know you like drinkin' out of sippy cups,

I mean, where are the patterns? He just attacks out of left field.

I spent most of my formative years

I think you're about to feel him, Lud.

I think you're pretty darn foxy yourself.

I want an island.

I want you to focus mostly on the ships.

I will talk to him. He's my son!

I'm comin' in the closet, Mrs. Van Patten.

I'm gonna get you back for that.

I'm kiddin'. I'm sorry to hear that.

I'm kidding. We are all gonna die.

I'm not goin' back to prison for that, am I?

I'm on an all protein diet, but I'm also doing carbs.

I've been binge watching to catch up.

I've been waitin' to do this since 1982.

I've traveled plenty seas, spent many hours

If I say it's a beer commercial, it's a bloody beer commercial.

If Lady Lisa was real,

If you guys hit Pac Man three times with this energy field, we win.

In combat zones, in every nook and cranny of this godforsaken world,

In your underwear for Lady Lisa. I get it.

Is she pretty, Will?

Is that a good idea when another attack may be imminent?

It's been 30 years since I kicked your butt, and it's gonna happen again!

It's Centipede.

It's happening tonight.

It's open?

It's that mean Centipede killer.

Kickin' your can all over the place

Kind of looks like a flounder.

Knock you out the frame We won't stop until you're gone

Ladies and gentlemen,

LUDLOW: Hey, kids. Daddy's home

Ludlow's right. You do smell good.

Matty!

Maybe throw him on the trampoline for a little bit?

Mom!

Mother told me Yes, she told me

Move it!

Mr. President, if you take away all the libraries, sir,

Nice welcome, for a change, huh?

No, I did.

No! No! Didn't we just say don't split him in half?

No.

No. No!

Nope!

Not the one you were thinking of.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Don't eat me, don't eat me, don't eat me.

Oh, I'll pick a game, all right.

Oh, okay

Oh, yeah!

Okay. How about me and him do that

One quarter, three lives.

Only if someone brings it up.

Only one way to beat this game

Ooh! That hurt, man. That's catatastrophic that you said that.

Pac Man is not bad!

Pac Man's faster than I remember

Playing in the street gonna be a big man some day

Please, please, don't eat me!

President said I'm on call tonight, so I can only have half a beer.

Prison

Professor Iwatani, what are you doin'?

Q*bert, what is it?

Q*BERT: (SINGSONG) Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Q*BERT: Ah

Q*bert!

Reset button.

Serena Williams. And we are closed.

Sergeant Duff! 12 o'clock!

She also told me

She's a husband stealing Pilates teacher

She's got ghosts.

Since childhood, we've been training our prefrontal cortex

So are you a gamer?

So glad we've almost made it

So I figured, why not use it for the big show. And it worked.

So you gon' show respect when you talkin' to me

So, what are you gonna do after all this?

Something I do often, also.

Surrender, surrender

Surrender, surrender

Ten

Thanks for comin'.

That deal don't work for Eddie Plant.

That I'd meet girls like you

That number one spot legacy I see is my hit

That's not strictly true. He made a cake.

The Bifocal Blaster is here, by the way.

The US military was attacked and what does President Cooper do?

Then let's solve this thing before there is.

They threw me a big party to thank me for savin' the world.

This is not a game now

This is the best, huh?

To destroy your planet.

To make Flocka be the best he can be

To perform extremely complex motor feats

Uh huh. If I may. See, that's just it.

Uh, Mr. Brenner here was the World Galaga Champion.

Up the ladder! Fast!

VIOLET: Eddie Plant. Married and divorced four times,

VIOLET: Oh!

We came to you in these familiar Earth forms

We gotta get you guys ready for your next battle.

We love you, Mr. President. Thank you for saving us.

We need to increase the rate of fire.

We squandered our one chance on you!

We were high school sweethearts.

We will, we will rock you

We will, we will rock you

We will, we will rock you

We won't be afraid 'cause we're the ones who made you

We're the only ones who can do this!

Well, gentlemen, how 'bout we break this tie.

Well, thank God for that.

What is that?

What kind of mushrooms did that guy put on our burgers?

What the hell is he doing?

What's a wiener coat?

Where's the fun in that?

Who cares who came up with it?

Why are you doing this to me?

Why'd you yell at me?

With the arms!

With the hope of connecting to, and perhaps providing a message for

Yeah, not this version though, Blue Lagoon.

Yeah, we didn't have those growin' up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah!

Yes.

Yoo hoo!

You don't wanna get hit by any of these boulders.

You gotta pretend you're the guy and you don't wanna die.

You just blew up our entire planet.

You know, I wish I never went in that closet with you.

You little... (GRUNTS)

You need to see this, sir.

You shoot the mushroom things! Like the game!

You will get three lives.

You'd be better off inventing technology rather than installing it.

You're a good boy!

You're still gonna go to MIT

You've never accomplished a damn thing in your entire life.

(AUDIENCE MURMURING) What the heck are they talkin' about?

(BREATHING HEAVILY) (PAC MAN POWERING DOWN)

Come on now! No! I love it! Will! No!

Good luck, man. Thanks.

Hmm? You wanna know how I know that?

Listen to this. (KEYBOARD CLACKS)

MAN: Champagne, sir? Thanks.

Mmm. If She Was Real.

Ooh! Yeah.

Really? (PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)

The cavalry has arrived. (PEOPLE CHEERING)

This is how it's gonna be the whole time? Guys, knock it off. Lead the way.

Use the Force. Use the Force. (MECHANICAL HAND WHIRRING)

We won't stop until you're gone Squat, squat, squat, squat

When do we quit? Never!

When do we quit? Never!

Where are my gamers at, huh? (CHEERING)

Who are you talking to? Nobody!

Yeah, baby. All right, huh?

Yes, Hal. HAL: Mr

You remember my grandma. Sure.

You're gettin' chubby

"What kind of choice did I make?

"with a hairy chin

(ARCADE GAME PINGING)

(BEEPS)

(BRAKES SCREECHING)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(CHEERS PLAYFULLY)

(CHILDREN EXCLAIMING)

(CHILDREN SCREAMING)

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLING) Okay.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(DISTANT THUDDING)

(EDDIE CHUCKLES)

(GROWLS)

(GROWLS)

(GRUNTS)

(INAUDIBLE)

(LUDLOW GRUNTS)

(MAN SPEAKING HINDI)

(MOUTHING) Bye!

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

(PIXELS CLICKING)

(SCOFFS) Eh, no way

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMS)

(SHUDDERING)

(SIGHS) Okay, fine.

(SIGHS) What?

(SINGING) La la la la la la Sing a happy song

(SIRENS WAILING)

(SPEAKING JAPANESE)

(THUDS)

(TIRES SCREECH)