Modern Love (2019) - Season 1 Edit

A and a Coke and another coffee.

A baby needs a mom and a dad.

A baby? I don't know, I don't know.

A big enough paunch.

A few weeks ago.

A guy did that for me once.

A guy I met on the street.

A ha, ah, ah, ah.

A job right away, but, uh,

A leisurely breakfast, and now I'm performing a home abortion.

A little early to the party, but no stopping him or her now.

A little.

A long time ago, before there were cities,

A perfect morning.

A search for adventure.

A sequin shirt that I absolutely adore

A silence of my own making.

A smile.

A village brings up a child.

About any of that stuff. I just want to see that you're in love.

About anyone but yourself. You read The New York Times,

About baby gorillas in the Congo,

About cattle pips.

About sex with the genius.

About when I was little.

About... Well, I didn't know you then.

Absolutely, I would.

Absolutely, yes. I am...

Accomplished, kind,

Across the top of your head,

Act like you're not at least partly responsible for this?

Actually, 17 years

Actually, no.

Actually, you know what, maybe I am.

Ah, no going back now.

Ah.

Ah. All right.

Ah. You want to feel your baby's head?

All gay and liberal and laid back

All I had to do was glance across the room,

All I'm thinking is, "Oh, no, he's gonna think

All of the above.

All right, all right, all right, all right.

All right, all right, you might be overreaching.

All right, babe, I'll be in.

All right, come on, Kipper, take a shit already.

All right, go to sleep.

All right, I better go.

All right, I'll see you.

All right, it's probably a cultural thing.

All these "I'm so proud of you" things to her.

Also, he's, like, a decade older than me,

Alter the past, and they stole the book.

Alternative is they have to put a steel plate in.

Always pushing us. Relentless.

Anal and and neurotic.

And a handful of other colors

And a pale blue one,

And all I had to remember him by

And all the potential in life

And all you need is enough fuel

And also, the pilot light is out,

And and and resilient and...

And and relentless, but they were also kind of free.

And and the fucking cars puking out this shit.

And antidepressants.

And big hearted right now

And brought it up to my mother in bed.

And defend myself.

And dependability.

And desire me.

And even into my marriage.

And ever since, I've been fucked up.

And finally 21.

And find that romance that we lost as adults.

And floss our teeth

And freezer, and a roster of good, nourishing meals.

And gossip about the evening.

And got to give it everything you got, okay?

And having sex, probably, with Mick the stranger on my couch!

And he didn't know anything about this,

And he got me a stuffed sea lion.

And he is in the apartment.

And he'd intuit that it was time for him

And helped clean up the blood and cut the cord.

And her dad came, and he said

And her name was Madeline.

And his wife left him a couple months ago,

And houses make me feel claustrophobic.

And how little credit I had given so many people.

And how much involvement

And I am allowed to change my mind,

And I can tell the difference."

And I can't really function in a social situation.

And I carried it around with me,

And I caught this faint old man smell.

And I don't have to do anything that you say.

And I don't know, I... I started lactating.

And I don't mind if it's after a first date

And I don't need anyone to help me make up my mind.

And I felt very sad.

And I have been an adult since I was 18, Dad. Really.

And I have great respect for your marriage,

And I just don't know how to say no.

And I just, I don't really feel up to much.

And I knew I should go home, but he was so interesting,

And I knew I wanted to see her again.

And I know that you're just out of an intense relationship,

And I left lunch with my girlfriend to call her.

And I like that I was the first guy to see her.

And I love the road, I feel safe there, but...

And I promised myself no person

And I take you to a hotel room, and we sleep there.

And I want you to really listen and take it in, Madeline.

And I'll get a bad performance review,

And I'll have the steak. (chuckles)

And I'll tell you now, when you can't talk back,

And I'm back in the dating circle.

And I'm not really, probably, you know, a long term prospect.

And I'm shimmering.

And I've never been able to to read that book because of that.

And I've painted it half blue,

And I've painted it half blue, half pink, you know,

And if she's really moved on, then at least you can move on

And it is going to rain.

And it it, uh...

And it slayed me.

And it's a hell of a lot of disappointment, for us,

And it's beautiful...

And it's not that bad.

And just the right dose.

And learn the basics.

And look at you... like a ginger cat who got the cream.

And maybe being a mother will change me, but...

And meet other people.

And more about that... that initial thrust.

And MRis don't hurt, not even a little bit.

And New York is a very great village.

And no matter how fast you run, he keeps up with you.

And no one really knew who I was.

And not even with a man she intends on staying with.

And nothing has really happened.

And now Ken has...

And now you're smoking skunk and drinking while pregnant

And on nights when we were out in company,

And other people make the ice cream for us,

And our spark would still be there,

And potentially any other woman you might meet.

And ran out of aspirin, so I'm just running across the street.

And recalibrate the universe or whatever you want to call it

And Rita Hayworth walks up to me in the supermarket.

And sell it to young American women,

And setbacks,

And share my good fortune, so you just...

And she couldn't live any other way.

And she dies, then some more brilliant prose.

And she gave birth to you without one moment of fear.

And short blonde hair,

And so here I am.

And so many options, it's nice to have a guide.

And so nice.

And so, I have no bandwidth left for the actual experience.

And some pretty pink capsules,

And somehow we felt if this relationship failed,

And sometimes it irked me,

And thank you for coming. It was so, uh...

And that I'd get a second chance

And that we'd both be in a place in our life

And that's perfect.

And the long version?

And the people that made it great.

And the pleasant downhill parts were that much more joyful.

And the promise in one, single human being.

And the tough uphill bits, the bits with illnesses

And the waste next to the poverty and the suffering

And then he chased me, and finally we found a way

And then he dozed off while she showered.

And then I stopped it and I came straight back to you.

And then I went there, I came back, the book was gone.

And then I'd become enraged if they didn't follow through.

And then I'm gonna stay at a really nice hotel

And then it'll keep going, no matter what you throw at it,

And then just some more brilliant prose.

And then moving to New York.

And then she kills herself,

And then that's the head.

And then the drugs take hold, and I'm off to la la land.

And then they mixed up their sperm

And then we agree to go back to Paris

And then we had some coffee."

And then weeks in the library making up for it,

And then years later interrupt her life, right?

And then, about a month ago...

And then, if any woman ever showed me any kindness,

And then, lying there,

And then, when I thought my mood couldn't get any better,

And there it is.

And there's only one place he can't find you.

And they'll find out that I've been photocopying a lot,

And they're all thinking, "No, he is never with her."

And they're not for you, but... without meeting you?

And this building.

And tired and gloopy and...

And us getting breakfast.

And we get to be there to catch it.

And we had learned how to compromise,

And we had survived

And we met in a bar in the Caribbean.

And we need someone to fix it.

And we need to get your baby out.

And we need you to work with us,

And we were suddenly into this really intense thing.

And we were.

And we'll do this again properly, you know?

And what does my sexuality have to do with anything?

And what happened to the poor Indian lady?

And where is your actual dad?

And which I can never find the right occasion for.

And woke up with me."

And you bitch about Trump, but you mean none of it

And you contribute to the community how?

And you haven't changed a bit.

And you just decided to take a break at the zoo. Wow.

And you live in a building with a doorman?

And you look like you haven't been home last night. Wha...?

And you should know what you're dealing with

And you want me to...

And you will accomplish whatever...

And you will not need a cold.

And you would be legal guardians, of course.

And you.

And you're not all... teenage and entitled,

And you're trying to get it into space.

And you're you're honest.

And you're, you're gorgeous.

And you're... and you're troubled

And, to be honest, uh, we kind of prefer it this way,

And, uh, his speech was slurred.

And, uh, I texted him, but he's out of town.

And, uh, just knowing you existed, you...

And, uh, save me a banana split.

And, uh, thank you for coming in here today.

And, um, I saw him at this bar.

And, um... but, yeah.

ANDY: I'm asking a question. So, what does it mean

ANDY: Let me ask you a question.

ANDY: So is she good crazy or bad crazy?

ANDY: You want us to just find out...

Another day, another dollar?

Any friend of mine is welcome to come in

Any good responses?

Any more than there's a cure for love.

Any news from Mark?

Anybody would be on my side on this.

Anyone would be proud to be your father,

Anyway, he died an hour later.

Anyway, look, I I don't want to interrupt,

Anyway... you seem all calm now.

Anywhere. With you.

Are we gonna really think about it?

Are you a golfer?

Are you crying?

Are you following me?

Are you for real?

Are you gonna hold my age against me?

Are you joking? Are you joking?

Are you Karla?

Are you kidding? I loved that part.

Are you like that?

Are you okay?

Are you running away from that toddler?

Are you serious?

Are you sure you don't want me to call the anesthesiologist?

Are you sure you're not just, like,

Are you sure? I don't get it. It's just medicine.

Are you the reverse of everything?

Are you usually this misanthropic?

Aren't aren't you...

Aren't we crazy enough?

Aren't you a little old to be crying?

As close to perfect as you can imagine.

As I couldn't physically pull myself out of bed.

As long as it's the right species, just... bang it out.

As long as the clouds ultimately passed,

As much as you want in life.

As my early morning supermarket visit attire,

As she was finishing, I saw him through the curtains.

As teenagers.

As you can get?

Asshole.

At 9:30 a.m.?

At his apartment.

At knowing when Mr. or Mrs. Right comes along.

At least I had his golf socks.

At least take an umbrella. I think it might rain.

At my bedside.

At the hospital, I sat with him the whole time.

Aw, shit, tonight's kind of tricky.

Baby's heart is good.

Basically raised themselves.

Basically, he was dad porn.

Bathroom's through there.

Be back in a sec.

Be well.

Beautiful man walking away from my door...

Beautiful.

Because I am totally getting this job.

Because I do have options,

Because I lost his number on the way to the hospital.

Because I love you, Joshua. I love you.

Because I need one, because...

Because I'm a dad.

Because I've got this little...

Because if you are, this is a really good way

Because Ken and I did everything

Because the next thing I remember is waking up

Because there's so much waste, because you have to buy,

Because this society wouldn't support that.

Because we can't cook, that's why.

Because you swanned in here at 10:00 a.m.

Because you wanted to take care of me for a bit.

Because you're more than work.

Because your breasts were pushed up against me,

Because your socks have little putting greens on them.

Before he died.

Before I had the chance to ask him out.

Begin their reproductive journey,

Believe me, not knowing will mess you up,

Besides, we're still on our date.

Better than good.

Birds tweeting outside my window.

Blissfully unaware with excuses,

Blood sugar? Chemical?

Blow.

Both of you, please.

BOTH: Over the sample they never paid for.

Boxers or briefs?

Breakfast is intimate. It's different.

Breakfast is, like, bed head

Breakfast. This time, you have the muesli,

Bright, funny, caring.

Builds up and has to be discharged, huh?

Burning off gallons of midnight oil when I'm on a case,

But a little bit born in the wrong time.

But but not giving people a chance

But distant for a few weeks.

But do you want it?

But don't do it because you're scared.

But for me, it's paralyzing.

But guess what.

But he was handsome, too.

But I can decide later, right?

But I come through New York twice a year, so...

But I couldn't envision myself with him.

But I don't know what it it feels like...

But I have incredibly low periods.

But I I shouldn't have said that shit.

But I I...

But I just want to say, whatever happens,

But I live in a blue one,

But I might need to lay down.

But I started having faith in people.

But I suppose I imagined

But I think I got the recipe right... ish.

But I think you may have room in your heart for me, too,

But I'm also hard to be around long term.

But I'm really hard to describe,

But I'm thinking,

But ice cream is okay, just not two.

But ice cream's nice, right?

But it can't last.

But it comes...

But it was sort of a dad date.

But it was, it was Paris that we were supposed to meet in.

But it's really not what you think.

But it's so good, right, June?

But literally shimmering, as I've chosen,

But none of them was her.

But not L.A. cool, not frosty cool.

But now I think it's the thing that I will miss the most

But now you've seen me at my most vulnerable.

But Peter had so much fatherly concern for me

But right now, I'm just sort of happy

But she's a little...

But she's taking it a little far, right?

But so long as you're aware of it.

But that's okay, because he wasn't there.

But then I realized, no one is seeing this.

But there is a little yellow pill I'm very fond of,

But there is a thunderstorm forecast

But there's... (laughs)

But this doesn't sound like you.

But what am I gonna do,

But when I came to, he was there,

But wherever he is, and however long it takes,

But yeah, it was beautiful.

But you do know that we advocate for everything

But you don't know that. Maybe they're just really good

But you should try some of her food,

But you're no longer alone.

But you've been so honest with me.

But, actually, it's the purest, most concentrated stuff.

But, but... how to tell you about it?

But, uh, I have decided

But, you know, she lives how she feels.

But, you know, ultimately not a match.

But...

But... for me, it's more like a fog rolling in.

Buy me a coat because you're nice.

By a couple like you.

By being brilliant the other half.

By circumstance into having our child,

By living off the generosity of other people?

Bye.

Call 911.

Call me?

Can I ask you something serious?

Can I borrow your spoon?

Can I get a coffee? Throw some milk in there.

Can I quote that bit, please?

Can I see you tonight? Do you want to have dinner?

Can we get a menu?

Can we get coffee?

Can we just forget that that happened?

Can we just sit here a bit?

Can you calm down and just not act...

Can you hold onto my feet?

Can you take that hat off your head?

Can't even take care of your own baby.

Children have an amazing way of dealing with new information.

CHRIS: Do you mind if I open a window?

Coffee?

Colleagues I had just stopped calling for no reason.

Come here.

Come on now.

Come on, buddy. You can do it.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on. Come on.

Come on, Tami. I mean, you're the one that said it was creepy.

Come on, you got to keep pushing.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. (sniffs)

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come over, yeah.

Come!

Considering I've got shit in my hand,

Cooking... cooking is an art.

Cool.

Cool.

Could have happened to him?

Cycling around this crazy city in your condition.

Damn it, Guzmin. You're good.

Damn it!

Damn.

DANIEL: Yeah, it was, uh...

Danish, then.

Depending on the way you look at it.

Despite how it comes across, you know?

Did you hear that?

Did you say you did a dog abortion?

Did you sleep?

Did you, um, sleep with him or just kiss him?

Didn't help.

Didn't seem like such a big commitment.

Do you ever get strong parental feelings?

Do you ever wonder what kind of disabled person you'd be?

Do you have any preferences?

Do you have anything to add?

Do you know what, lads, you guys have some serious issues

Do you know what, right?

Do you know what? I get it. Right?

Do you like duck?

Do you mind?

Do you think it's possible that something

Do you think you'd like?

Do you want to come up with some names together?

Do you want to get...

Do you want to hold her? (chuckles)

Do you want to kiss me good bye, here, now?

Do you want to... you want to grab breakfast?

DOCTOR: Good, Karla, you're doing so great.

DOCTOR: Okay, Karla, great. Great, great, great, great, great.

DOCTOR: Okay, these contractions are right on top of each other.

Does she think I'm a total nerd?"

Does that make sense?

Don't even joke about that, Margot.

Don't fuss, Chris. I'll be fine.

Don't go see the dinosaurs again without me.

Don't put her under pressure, all right?

Don't worry. It's still there.

Don't you think you could give him another chance?

Don't you want to know if we, like, own our apartment?

Don't you, when you... when you're sick,

Don't. (gasps)

Done.

Drinks later, you can tell me all about him?

Drive me the last bit. I said,

DRIVER: You look sad.

Early in the morning, you know you can trust it.

Eight, seven...

Either way, I I will respect your decision,

Either way.

EMMA (deep voice): "You know, just... leopard stuff."

Emma and I got back together again.

EMMA: And yet love is so universal.

EMMA: They met here. What, do you think they, like, met downtown

Employers, family and friends

Even for old people, can be surprisingly bountiful.

Even her dad.

Even under the circumstances.

Ever. He will never be calling you.

Every box I would look for to be ticked, but...

Every hair in place.

Every move a picture. Not a step wrong.

Every time we passed each other in the house, Ken made a point

Every week, you totally get to reconnect with the country

Everyone does now.

Everyone does that, Rob.

Everyone likes attention, Yasmine.

Everything is possible.

Everything you got. Here we go.

Everything's okay.

Exactly. (chuckles softly)

Except for giving my sea lion away.

Except for sex.

Excuse me.

Eyes closed.

Fall in behind and they tow me along.

Fantastic, Miss Mitchell.

Feeling frisky. I'm feeling frisky.

Feels like an interview.

Finally crawled into bed at my boyfriend's at about 6:00.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine.

Follow your dreams! Whoo!

For 17 years and three months,

For all our sakes.

For an easy lay or a one night stand.

For brunch, or... will you be working?

For later this afternoon.

For more than a few days, but...

For most men, in your experience?

For optimal dadness,

For some novel you're writing.

For some people, it's like a storm.

For that moment, I realized I hadn't really been...

For the 21st century.

For the date.

For the escort, fellas.

For the next couple weeks, the genius continued to help me

For the old fashioned Web dating service.

For two years.

Framed pictures of his past.

Frightened, bleeding...

From all these bad men, and now it's like

From apartment to apartment,

From her doorstep with her daughter locked upstairs.

From my own TV show.

From relationship to relationship,

From the Swan Songs.

From your field of vision,

Fruit salad again, everything's gone off just a little bit.

Fuck you.

Fuck!

Fucking lovesick CEO of a dating agency.

Full of stuffing, and then Guzmin's lunch.

Fully alive for the past two years.

FUNERAL DIRECTOR: I will now call on Margot

Gaviscon?

Genius stuff like that.

Get those blinds for me.

Getting killer grades.

Getting your name tattooed on my arm. (chuckles)

Girl.

Give me a hundred bucks, I I'll leave it to you.

Glass half full or glass half empty?

Glass half full or glass half empty?

Go to a movie? Go to a club?

Go to a nightclub and check on you tomorrow?

God, I looked so good tonight, okay?

God, it just burned me to know why he never showed up.

Gold prospectors.

Good for you.

Good girl.

Good girl. Good girl.

Good luck, yeah.

Good luck.

Good night, Guzmin.

Good night, Miss Mitchell.

Good night.

Good night.

Good, good.

Good.

Got a few minutes?

Got an earlier train.

Got you.

Grace, of course. Amazing Grace.

Great with the kids, and I don't deserve her.

Gugmin. Morning.

Guys aren't buoyed by Dutch courage or high on cocaine.

Guys will check you out and then pull focus to me,

Guys?

Guzmin, okay, I don't know how many times...

Guzmin, you have to stop failing everyone

GUZMIN: Ah.

GUZMIN: He will not be calling you.

GUZMIN: Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.

Guzmin!

Guzmin.

Half full.

Half pink, you know, covering both bases.

Hang on a second. How are you so sure of all this?

Hard to describe.

Have a man look after you just 'cause

Have you decided what you're wearing?

Have you, have you ever been in love yourself?

Having no dad is something I'm used to.

He absolutely will be calling me.

He also smells like Tums.

He always had crumbs on his sweater.

He and I often told each other,

He called me "sweetheart."

He can get very territorial.

He did. And then he wasn't.

He died when I was 11.

He goes everywhere I go.

He had a gray comforter.

He had some behavioral issues, so he did some classes

He he stood me up.

He is a weak man with no self control.

He is cooking for you? This is a date.

He is not for you.

He is very polite, and he is, he is sexy

He looks done.

He makes everywhere his territory.

He may have scarred our dog for life.

He wants to settle down somewhere. Not me.

He was a flash in the pan.

He was a gray comforter.

He was naked,

He was right. (chuckles)

He was, like, dream dad.

He will never be calling you.

He'd call me on it.

He's a stranger. And this is our apartment,

He's become a...

He's totally my dad. Even his smell.

Hell, I'll help you raise the little guy.

Hello, darling. Hello, baby.

Hello, little baby girl.

Hello, little monkey. Come here.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello.

Here in the city of New York.

Here was a man who didn't want his peaches bruised.

Here, I want you to try this risotto.

Here.

Here. To your new, amazing life.

Here's Schubert's "Serenade No. 4"

Here's your taxi.

Hey, can I get you something to drink?

Hey, girl. Come on

Hey, how are you?

Hey, I'm sorry the decision didn't go your way.

Hey, man.

Hey, what's up?

Hey! Hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Come here.

Hey. Hey. Let me... let me help you with that.

Hey. How did it go?

Hey. I understand.

Hey. Those guys from admin in my office,

Hi, hon. Daddy joining us tonight?

Hi, Jeff.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. (chuckles)

Hi. (chuckles)

Hi. Can I help you?

Hi. It's so wonderful to meet you.

Hi. Thank you.

His belly needed to touch his knees.

His blood runs a little colder than mine.

His hair was thinning from the top.

His words had been transformational.

Hmm?

Hmm? Sure.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. I wonder if that's why he's not getting any fatter.

Hmm. I'm getting worried.

Hollywood at its absolute, shameless best.

Home owning homosexuals to start a family?

Homer, say hi. Say hi.

Homer! Bad dog!

Homer! Hit the deck.

Homer. Homer, this way.

Honestly, if I never see you again,

Honestly, it's very nice that you're confident enough

Honey, I feel incomplete.

Hooked up to all these machines, but he was so beautiful.

How about "Martini Lover"?

How about Thursday?

How about Tuesday?

How are you doing today, Lexi?

How can anyone guarantee something like that?

How can I make you more comfortable?

How can you tell that from 30 feet away?

How come you never told me?

How could Kipper even accommodate your dog's penis?

How do we know that she won't just... come on...

How do you mean?

How does it feel telling me?

How forgiving and understanding they were.

How I'm going to manage, frankly.

How long till I can be discharged?

How many?

How much for me to head off?

How much of that did you hear?

How was the apartment?

How would he deal with a damaged psyche?

How?

How's Andy?

How's home? How's your mom?

How's she doing?

HR asked me to mention to you.

Huh, smart.

Huh? Are you panting?

Huh? What's up, huh?

Huh? You're a world of one!

Human beings used to constantly move.

I actually believe you.

I am calling this an intermission.

I am doorman. I never get weather wrong.

I am going to literally projectile vomit

I am impossible to be around.

I am so sorry.

I am very...

I am, anyway.

I am.