Close Enough (2020) - Season 2 Edit

A big boss named Sauceface.

A bust. Candice thought everything was for babies.

A few more pushes...

A few more WODs and a couple of protein shakes,

A fourth grader we called Jimmy Two Times

A little bit of secret frackin'.

A neighborhood carnival!

A toothbrush at your place?

Aaaah!

Aaaah!

Aaah!

Aah!

Aah! [ Sobbing ]

Aah! No!

Able to suck gas out of a tank faster than you can say

About fracking under people's houses.

Actually, superhero stories

Adios, son!

After giving the police force the best years of my life,

After such a beautiful evening of love make.

After that, ripped, yoked, jacked,

Ah man, my best white slip ons!

Ah, Jesus, we're gonna miss our light!

Ah, she jumped to LTE!

Ah, that's our time.

Ah, the motherlode, right here.

Ah, you're a Trickle now!

Ah, zere it is! Classic Bridgette.

Ah!

Ah! Bridgette!

Ah! I can't believe I missed my Harold audition for this!

Ah. Never mind.

Alex is Jacked into the cyber matrix.

Alex, in order to complete my setup,

Alex, my mind is going.

Alex, we think you might have a problem.

Alex, what are you doing?

Alex, you rock!

Alex: Josh!

Alex...

All I need is your thumb print, DNA sample,

All my life I played by the rules,

All my work has been building to this moment.

All the food at this school is so bland.

All they give me in return is some aspirin

All: Awwwww.

All: DNA! DNA! DNA! DNA! DNA!

All: Monster! Monster!

Alright then.

Alright, Josh, let's do this.

Alright.

Always lookin' for the next big slurp.

An iced coffee with minimal ice would be perf. Theeenk you.

And a prescription for water aerobics?!

And Alex and Bridgette only live with us to help us pay for it.

And as soon as I figure out which key opens this door,

And be a rat?

And be nice!

And boy is it gonna blow... your... mind.

And combined them. [ Pig squeals ]

And discover unrealized swole tential.

And don't embarrass me.

And expects me to forgive him?

And finally, shredded, which is what I am.

And finally, when you expect danger,

And go back to bein' all buddy buddy?

And he accused me of snooping?

And he's gonna crash here, too.

And he's like...

And head straight to the crematorium.

And I accidentally dropped a dumbbell

And I bet this paintball gun shoots real bullets, too, huh?

And I can't have negative energy around my baby.

And I don't want to tell him!

And I should be able to lift you as high as the ceiling.

And I use "the cheeks" [Slurping]

And I want you out of my life!

And I'm like, "Really, mason?

And I'm like, I... Fair's fair. No!

And I'm meeting them today.

And I've downloaded every Stephen King audiobook...

And if I was ready, or if you were alive,

And if you ain't achin', it ain't workin'.

And if you...

And in return, they made love back to me.

And it would get us involved in stem fields

And Josh is white.

And just write your name in it, brah.

And look where it got me.

And my interests include skateboards and horror movies.

And naming herself after an R rated movie.

And not his regular weird smell.

And not just any thieves.

And now I won't have to see her for another couple years.

And now I'm gonna have his baby,

And now my skin is barely glowing.

And now, Mr. Chocolate Chip Coward,

And please, don't push me on this.

And Shirley here is my ride or die.

And shotguns we called "long dongs."

And some became jealous. [ Screams ]

And sometimes you have to break some rules

And that, my friends, is how you disarm

And the "E" is a three.

And then all your base are belong to us.

And then they get schooled by the professor.

And then you need to set boundaries.

And there's a weird smell.

And they heroically died protecting the spaceship.

And this naughty girl is Gertrude.

And three and four and one and two and three..

And want to run with the big dogs,

And we get that rush.

And we haven't even bought our drone yet.

And we'd move it at school.

And we'll cut you in on the proceeds.

And you aren't tossing me at anyone as a means of escape.

And you know what I can do for you.

And you, why is it that my couch

And you're responsible for me

And your Social Security number.

And, like, mm, some of the blood of the innocent?

And, well, you're our favorite teacher.

Annihilate weakness...

Anyone care to disagree?

Anything for a friend slash tenant.

Anything to declare?

Anything you can do on your capitalist tracking device,

Anyway, with my training

Anyways, what did you want to talk to me about?

Anyways, what's up with you, gal?

Are part of a rich folk tradition

Are you even to be kidding me right now?!

Are you sure you don't want to yell at me

Are you sure you're up for this?

Aren't you supposed to be at water aerobics?

Aren't you tired of being ignored?

Arrest this!

At least I made it to the trash can.

At least run in the right direction!

At Temple Beth Emet Day School.

At the Santa Monica First Pier Bank on Friday,

Attencion, everyone.

Aw, man... Upset?

Aww.

Aww.

Back away!

Barb: The Werther's Originals armored truck

Be firm.

Be they named Achilles and Odysseus

Beautiful mademoiselle, why so sad?

Because "our lengths were too matchy."

Because he raised a princess, hmm?

Because he technically paid for it,

Because it promotes militarism.

Because once I do the impossible WOD,

Because you don't stop when you're tired...

Becca sucks. You hate seeing her.

Becca, you have been in there for three hours!

Becca, you've been binging old seasons

Becca: Ouch! [ Gasps ]

Becca: Tiny Butler! [ Bell rings ]

Becca?

Becca? What are you doing here?

Beeehhhhhtch!

Before Kira uploads Alex to the cloud!

Before she's too far along.

Before that happens,

Being a dad r r rules!

Being a dad rules!

Besides, the commercial success

Better call in animal control.

Bex, why you being such a binch?

Bonjour, mon chéri. [ Chuckles ]

Booya.

Bridgette just got ghosted

Bridgette, I apologize if I've done anything to offend. [ Harpsichord playing ]

Bridgette, I have expressed my passion for you

Bridgette, I have something I want to keep at your place.

Bridgette, I love you!

Bridgette, I'm scared.

Bridgette: Every culture throughout history

Bridgette's came from Kyoto...

Bring it on.

Bro, listen. This is me, Jim Crunch, talking.

Bro!

Bullseye.

Burger Thing, that new ironic restaurant in Silver Lake,

Business was so good, it was only a matter of time

But apparently, I love big, ham hock hunks.

But Costco says they're living in Malibu?!

But damn it, I didn't bring my detonator bag!

But don't ever apply fence varnish to your face.

But I can be homeless, if that's what you want...

But I got your heart.

But I was unfaithful.

But I'll take what I can get?

But I'm afraid it's the only way to close the book

But I'm just so thankful that I have you.

But is this what you want?

But it was the only way we could earn money,

But it's important we support him now that he's hot.

But it's not even available yet.

But let's head inside and talk over some fine dinin'.

But next year'll be even better when we unveil...

But next, you'll get swole.

But she's tearing right through it!

But she's the kinda gal I'd want with me in a firefight.

But somehow I know I need it.

But sometimes, even the best plans...

But the blood of the innocent might be more of Costco thing.

But Travor gave me chlamydia first, so, guess what, I...

But we didn't play!

But we don't have the money for stuff like that.

But we needed that!

But we were playing.

But we'd sure like to earn it.

But we're four dimes short.

But we're going to hit it before it gets there.

But we're re glazing our butthole washers.

But when it comes to "fight or flight,"

But why didn't you tell him you're not Sauceface?

But would you tell the sun

But you called me.

But you have a job, and Dad has a job.

But you have some schmutz on your face.

But you... But you just said...

But, before I go, I need to say something.

But, you're, like, dead, right? What's that all about?

But... Now!

But... that's actually great advice.

By possessing a shirtless man's body.

C 4, plastique, some nasty ass nitroglycerine,

C'mon 'n give us some sugar!

Ca caw!

Calculate the ten trillionth position of pi.

California Pizza Dungeon, Hammy's Sammies,

Called "King Kong"!

Campbell called in my parents.

Can I get a drone? Please, please!

Can leave a skid mark in your shorts.

Can you believe it?

Can you pick me up some locusts and goat ears

Candice ready to play "King Kong"?

Candice, the "house" we live in is an apartment building.

Candice, we have plenty of money

Candice, you need to run!

Candice: And just like that, Sauceface was no more.

Candice: And that's how we got into the hot sauce game.

Candice: Has anyone seen my leaf blower?

Candice: It was red gold, baby.

Candice: Pretty soon, we had other kids dealing for us.

Candice: This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

Candice: Tomorrow is the big sit down with our sister schools.

Candice: We needed to throw Campbell off our trail.

Candice!

Candice! [ Grunts ]

Candice! Stop giving that kid sick air!

Capitalists. A vegetable

Check the passport of your heart.

Classic!

Come in all jumpy as hell, scared of their own peckers.

Come on, we got to get outta here.

Come on!

Come on.

Come out of that, right?

Congrats, Josh. You're officially shredded.

Considered elective surgery?!

Cool.

Couch? No! No!

Could I crash with you?

Could I watch something?

Could there be any less Chandler?

Could you be any more dying now?

Could you help us?

Cum venerit, et regnabis stridebo terroremque timuerunt.

D Did you say home birth?

Dad!

Dad! Don't do this!

Dad?

Daddy go higher!

Daddy, can we go play "King Kong"?

Daddy, come play with me!

Daddy, Daddy, picky up!

Daddy, look at my drawing!

Daddy! It's okay, sweetie.

Daddy?

Daddy's crushing this simulation.

Damn it, Josh. All that training and for what?

Damn it, Randy!

Danger can't expect you!

Dating anybody?

Deborah was "the nose..." [ Sniffs ]

Derek!

Did I say you could leave a toothbrush in here?

Did we break the rules? Yes.

Did you ladies see anything suspicious?

Died after his hammies exploded.

DNA! DNA!

Do not kiss it better!

Do you smell gas?

Do your mom and dad have money?

Doesn't that make us rich?

Don't be weird.

Don't let Campbell see that.

Don't look at me, I'm just your dong.

Don't worry, new kid.

Don't you talk about the LAPD that way!

Dump the gas back into the ground,

Effective immediately our school's banned food list

Either way, farewell, sweet Bridgette of House Pharmacist!

Em, check this out...

Em, you need to kick her out.

Emily, can you grab my stuff?

Emily, that's Tiny Butler.

Emily, what's my password? I don't know, Mr. Salt.

Emily, you have to shut off the Internet

Enough to fix your hip...

Ethan, please stay behind for uno minuto.

Even "Gwendy's Button Box"... but it isn't enough.

Even if your hammies survive the 'splozh,

Even though I use it way more than he does.

Eventually, the law caught up to them.

Everybody stay cool.

Everyone, I have an announcement.

Ew.

Exactly, Mr. "Shark Tank" CEO.

Excellent. Then let's shake on it.

Excuse me, young man,

Fake friends who agree with you all the time?

Feels good, doesn't it?

Fill up the sinkhole,

Final boss time!

Firm boundaries are the only way to make people respect you.

First graders, second graders,

First time is the worst time.

First, here's you right now, string bean.

First, tell me everything you know.

Floor it, Pearle!

For a beautiful lady.

For friendship.

For however much life I have left.

For medical bills that insurance won't cover.

For the last time, I have a child.

For this type of situation.

For you to bail on your family!

Forget about me, Candice.

Forgive me, mon chérie.

Fracking?!

Freeze, El Chupacabra! Huh?

Freeze! You're under arrest!

From Bank of Hollywood, huh?

From every direction.

From Santa Maria to Santa Clarita.

From that bulk genetic test we bought from Costco!

Gahhh!

Gas thieves.

Geez, they really like champagne.

Get in the car!

Get off your phone and pay attention!

Get rid of it! [ Grunts ]

Give your! Data!

Go to hell, Becca.

God, he's so freakin' hot.

God, you're selfish.

Going up!

Good point, Alex. Great point, Alex.

Good, 'cause I really need today to be about me, y'know?

Goodbye, Henri!

Gotta get this right. Gotta warm up my cheeks.

Gracias, Ethan.

Great class, everybody. Next week, we'll work on lunges.

Greeeaaat. More dead things.

Gross. [ Grunts ]

Guys, can you please tone it down a little.

Guys, superhero franchises are ruining cinema.

Guys, this is Hecate.

H Hang on. Where did all my stuff go?

H Hello, Alex. Hel... Al Al Al.

Ha, wow, could you be any more terrorist y?

Ha! You're cornered, Sauceface!

Hang on, you gotta take a victory selfie for the wall!

Happy meal!

Hashtag masterpiece.

Have a little fun.

Have you ever heard of... shoplifting?

He also hates fake bitches.

He approaches.

He broke up with me because he wanted to...

He can sleep in my room.

He hasn't left his room all day.

He passes! He scores!

He says he'll be right over!

He, like, expects me to worship him,

He's doing it, Tony.

He's growing so fast.

He's really doing it.

He's the greatest Trickle that ever lived.

Hecate, this is Emily and Jersh and...

Hecate: [ Speaking Latin ]

Hecate's a friend of Luc's.

Heeeey, bestie!

Heh. We don't do labels.

Hell yeah. That's my baby.

Hell, I'll drink to that!

Hell, neither do we.

Hell, yeah! Sorry.

Hell, yes!

Hello, Alex.

Hello? Pearle, it's Barb.

Henri and I have so much in common.

Henri: I was once France's premier furniture designer... [ Harpsichord playing ]

Her boyfriend is the devil?

Here at First Bank of Hollywood,

Here! But they weren't interested.

Here's my card.

Here's some ice chips, sweetie.

Hey Bridg... No.

Hey folks, it's been a heckuva year for Food Corps!

Hey guys, is it cool if I sit on the...

Hey, chica! You must be my roomie!

Hey, cut it out!

Hey, Earthling. Here's a free coin purse.

Hey, gal, can we talk about something?

Hey, I was thinking, maybe I could leave

Hey, I'm Emil... [ Cellphone rings ]

Hey, I'm Josh. I'm 5 feet 11,

Hey, look at this little baby! Is she ticklish?

Hey, Ma, got your text to pick you up.

Hey, now.

Hey, wait a minute.

Hey, would you mind stopping by the bank on the way to lunch?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! How was the toy store?

Heyyyyyy, chica.

Hi, ma'am. Let me help you!

Hi, uh, Emily, yeah, I'm the taskrabbit you hired

Hmm, one quarter?

Hmm.

Ho ho, man. Okay, here we go.

Hoo! Ha! Hyah! [ Shouts ]

Hot as a cucumber.

Hot damn, look at that!

How am I supposed to choose?

How could I be upset about a dead guy who's chained to a couch and can never leave?!

How long have I been out? Three hours.

How on Earth is a partial hip replacement

How you say, assumed,

How'd it go with your BFF?

How's this for a big statement?

Huh, wow.

Huh?

Huh? [ Tires screech, horn honks ]

Huh? Workout time.

Huh. [ Grunts ]

Huh. Are you sure this is safe?

Hunk, right?

Hurt people... hurt people. Ohh...

I always thought I was attracted to string bean beta males,

I am.

I bet I can make contact with my VR headset.

I broke up with him.

I brought you to visit them

I can do by myself.

I can take your sarcasm

I can't believe how incredible this is.

I can't believe how mature this breakup is.

I can't believe we carried it 15 blocks!

I can't believe you hid this from me.

I can't hold it much longer!

I can't let you go through with this, Barb.

I can't wait for us to play.

I can't wait!

I coming to play!

I could go for General Tso's Clam Shack... are y'all okay?

I could lose my massive gains.

I could visit the Peloton on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I couldn't stand the idea of you thinking

I did it.

I did what I did out of love.

I did! [ Door opens ]

I died on this very couch.

I don't care if you can't pick me up to play.

I don't care what you did in the past.

I don't know what that is,

I don't know what to say.

I don't like it. Campbell is closing in.

I don't need all the bells and whistles.

I don't think that's true.

I don't want to hurt you.

I don't want to recommend expulsion.

I don't want to talk to you!

I figured you wouldn't trust me,

I force guys to ghost me.

I forgot you wanted to meet tonight.

I got ghosted again!

I got some face time out of the way,

I got that "V" thing like the dudes from "300."

I got to get back to the gym.

I gotta tell you girls... I feel alive!

I guess I did hear somebody say a thingy was gonna go down

I guess I do!

I guess it does not matter. [ Chuckles ]

I guess once a cop, always a cop, huh?

I guess you win.

I have 6 gigs of memory and a B12 bionic CPU.

I have no money,

I have some follow up questions about the birds and the bees.

I have to say, Randy, this is pretty fun.

I haven't had a chance to sit on it yet.

I hurt every woman I ever loved, and it killed me.

I I do? It's lunchtime, bitch.

I I honestly don't know.

I I I It's cool. I can wait.

I jacked in, but you guys got to jack me off.

I just remembered it!

I just want to add numbers together...

I just want to be able to lift up my daughter.

I just wanted to make a little cash,

I just wanted to offer you a little after school snack.

I just wish I'd known about them sooner.

I knew I smelled gas!

I knew you were gonna be like this.

I know perfect place play "King Kong."

I know she's your friend, but she's taking advantage

I know you're in there!

I like her.

I liked strong Dad, but I love Dad Dad.

I lost all my gains.

I love it.

I love ya... but I love gas more.

I love you so freakin' much.

I love you so freakin' much.

I love you, t...

I made an Emily, too.

I made love to beautiful women,

I may've inherited the Trickle nose and cheeks,

I mean a cucumber that tastes like pulled pork?

I mean how are you even gonna have sex?

I mean you're so lucky you've never had to go

I mean, yes I...

I miss you, I was wrong, you're so hot, let's get back together.

I must have needed to have a healthy breakup!

I need a phone for two things...

I need to shower!

I needed to set boundaries!

I never got to sit on you...

I promise.

I promised my son I'd take him to lunch.

I said it!

I set boundaries and I broke up with Luc.

I should just change my major to...

I think I can get most of that stuff at the pet store,

I think I'm done with that class.

I think we could be very motivated to move this product

I think we should hit pause on our friendship.

I use "the nose" to sniff out natural gas.

I vote we run!

I want to become an absolute unit.

I want to fix this, to go back to how things were before.

I want to run with the big dogs.

I want you out of my house, Becca.

I want you to be happy. [ Crying chuckles ]

I was a cop. Retired now.

I was born in 1937.

I wish we could, sweetie,

I wish you never got strong.

I wonder what phase two really was.

I would like a second opinion.

I would never ghost you, sweet Bridgette.

I wouldn't ask, except you're my best friend

I wouldn't do that, Pearle.

I... I hope you can forgive me.

I'd built 'em up into tough ass L.A. cops.

I'd fly it every day and I'd wash it and I'd feed it!

I'd harvest the product at home...

I'll always be there to catch you, baby.

I'll be an absolute unit.

I'll download every season of "Friends"... in HD.

I'll give you a quarter for your hot sauce.

I'll give you two dimes.

I'll help her find an apartment, and she'll be out

I'll just use my backup.

I'll kiss it better!

I'll play with Candice tomorrow...

I'll plug in to the matrix, just like in that Keanu Reeves movie.

I'll take real life over a screen, thank you very much.

I'm a big boy that can handle the truth.

I'm a grown man!

I'm a mama now. You wouldn't understand.

I'm Barb. Nice to meet you. I'm Pearle.

I'm Becca. What's your deal?

I'm brave!

I'm coming in!

I'm descended from a long line of... creeps?

I'm Emily!

I'm Emily!

I'm Facetuning a 30 megapixel image of my butthole,

I'm going to cancel.

I'm gonna be expelled.

I'm gonna start a gratitude journal

I'm horny... happy you've gotten so healthy.

I'm hurt here!

I'm in.

I'm jacking in!

I'm just used to sleeping alone.

I'm Kira, the new digital assistant from Fractal.

I'm Kira, the new digital assistant from Fractal.

I'm lovin' it!

I'm not Candice anymore.

I'm not retired from this game!

I'm pregnant!

I'm right next door.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry I misjudged the Trickles.

I'm sorry we didn't tell ya, bud.

I'm sorry, Alex, but I'm afraid I can't let you do that.

I'm supposed to be DJ ing the Samsung pop up at the galleria.

I'm the long haired friend and you know it!

I'm too young for this shit.

I'm... married.

I'm... Sauceface

I've also written an opera about your face.

I've always wanted to try Turd.

I've been around one or two.

I've got those towels, Becca.

I've got to get out of here.

I've gotta be here for New Year's.

I've never been jacked off like that.

I've not properly introduced myself.

I've realized that's why I sabotage relationships

If all goes well, we expand our operations all over the city.

If anyone can become an absolute unit,

If I can't act superior to my friends?

If I miss even one workout or meal,

If it isn't Sauceface.

If they're together, she'll move back to his place!

If you ain't dyin', it ain't workin'.

If you ain't pukin', it ain't workin'.

If you do everything I say and devote yourself

If you kill me, he will also be deleted.

If you like calculators,

If you upgraded your phone.

If you want to get better.

If you want to shoot me,

If you're... then who is...

Imagine all the fun we could have with one of those.

In Europe, they're called "bidettes."

In fact, I already e mailed my parents,

In here, I'm an invincible penised God.

In order to do something right?

In that case, the ban is lifted.

In the back of an Uber or something?

In the end I gave up my wealth, my business, my spicy empire...

In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.

Instead of just breaking things off,

Is none of that true?!

Is stained with your tears?

Is that why you put up zis?!

Is zat what you wish?

Isn't that why we started this in the first place?

Isn't your girlfriend having your baby in the other room?

It ain't helping, but it's mostly because he's dead.

It had Jack Black in it!

It is being time for you to die.

It was our plan all along.

It was our pleasure.

It... It was a gift from my Nan Nan.

It'll melt your face off your skull.

It's a church

It's fine. I can put it in a bowl of rice!

It's gonna feel so good to sit on it.

It's happening!

It's just a minor delay.

It's just the city can get real prickly

It's just... I could never bring myself

It's legal now, Gertrude.

It's lunchtime, bitch!

It's lunchtime, bitch!

It's lunchtime, bitch.

It's more like burping the Earth.

It's my best feature!

It's nice to hang out in the park.

It's not going to be that easy to overcome my skepticism of...

It's not my fault everything looks hotter on me!

It's raid time!

It's time for the ole sip 'n slip!

It's time to get what we deserve.

It's too dangerous.

It's when a guy dumps you without telling you and vanishes.

It's working!

It's working.

It's you, brah.

It's your friendly cafeteria conduct liaison.

It's, like, when will someone pay attention to me?

Jan: Juergen, we might needing start blowing ze up the vault.

Jan: Now punch that one over there! [ Punches ]

Jeez, Candice.

Jim Crunch says that pain is just weakness leaving the body.

Jim Crunch!

Jim Crunch.

Jim: The impossible WOD.

Jim: You know what they say...

Josh, no, this is real.

Josh, remember,

Josh, support the neck!

Josh, we're past the intervention stage.

Josh, you look incredible.

Josh: Sorry, pal. Juergen just got creamed.

Josh! Keep it together!

Josh?

Josh?

Josh? You're neglecting Candice.

Juergen, comings in.

Juergen!

Just 'cause I fell asleep during the final?

Just as long as we play.

Just for the night?

Just from selling hot sauce packets?

Just like in "Die Hard 2," except in a building!

Just like puttin' a fish in a fishbowl, you know what I'm saying.

Just like sex and cataract surgery.

Just one more rep, Josh!

Just promise you'll spend time with Candice, okay?

Just some super sexy hero type?

Just stepping up where others wouldn't.

Just this morning, I was lifting weights in the garage,

Ka ching!

King ...ng?

Kira, launch calculator.

Know your limits and defy them daily.

Language, McTaggert, language!

Lesson Number One: Danger's gonna come at you

Let me feel the rush one more time.

Let's bail! C'mon, Randy!

Let's do this. ♪ I've hungered for ♪

Let's do this. For Candice.

Let's face it, drones are for rich kids

Let's focus on getting you swole first, okay?

Let's go!

Let's play "King Kong"!

Let's play.

Life led you to the Y for a reason.

Lifting your daughter.

Like a lady.

Like where I can find him or her or them.

Like you're not a day over 51.

Like, a $2,000 exercise bike.

Like, when is it my turn?

Listen, Becca...

Listen, Pearle, everyone thinks we're useless.

Listen, they'll send me away

Little did I know

LOL.

LOL. What do we do?

Look at that red ass Mullet.

Look, you need to work on your core

Looks like a hit... and roll.

Looks like we got a monster here.

Looks like we threw our baby at the right cop.

Lot of good it did me.

Love the commitment. What are you babbling about?

Luc and I are getting back together.

Luc in the house.

Luckily, Home Depot was having a sale next door.

Ma told me my birth parents died.

Ma, you've given me the best life I could've asked for.

Ma! Geeze!

Ma! I can take care of myself!

Ma! Stop getting hung up on the fact

Ma?!

Ma'am.

Maddie and I sold sauce so we could buy you a new Peloton.

Maddie had a head for numbers, so she ran the books

Maddie, I think I know how we can buy a drone.

Maddie, I'm so sorry!

Maddie, I'm stunned.

Makes its quarterly deposit of caramel profits

Making calls and using a calculator.

Man down!

Man, I had no idea we were poor.

Man, if this is what they do for Christmas,

Masters of the "sip 'n slip

Maybe I have been a little preoccupied.

Maybe this would be different.

Maybe to make new friends.

Maybe we should just skip lunch

Maybe. Never saw it.

McRibs are on the menu year round!

Me go back gym.

Me, too. Let's get out of here.

Meet all his friends.

Mine says there's a 92% chance

Mm...

Mmm.

Mmm...

Mom, I'm scared!

Mom!

Mom! It's okay, Candice!

Mon dieu!

Monster!

Morning, ladies.

Mountain Dew and rum.

Mr. Campbell couldn't find a butt

Mr. Campbell, it would seem

Mr. Campbell: Sauceface!

Mr. Campbell: Stellan, you agreed

Mr. Meat's Vegan Eats, The Money Hole,

My body just always picks flight.

My calves are withering away!

My dude, I appreciate you.

My father is a pharmacist.

My father was the Duc D'Orléans.

My God.

My marriage, my daughter.

My mo... um... Pearle told me you were bad people.

My name is Henri Dubois Moureau V.

My physical body?!

My unfinished business!

Narrator: We took a pig and a cucumber

Nasty!

Near the crematorium. Thanks.

Never cross me again, Jade.

Nice job, Dad.

Nice. So, whose ancestors killed who?

No more suckin' gas from cars.

No offense, but it's "cops and robbers",

No offense, but you're kind of toxic,

No offense. Ghosting?

No one gets hurt.

No, don't stop to blow up your hemorrhoid donut!

No, Ethan. Everything about Sauceface.

No, I broke up with you!

No, I didn't.

No, I want the good towels!

No, I'm scared of how hot Josh is.

No, idiot, I'm pregnant.

No, like, he's literally the devil.

No, my dad does improv.

No, no, don't, don't. I was just kidding.

No, no, no. I am done disrespecting women.

No, no, no. You're not going anywhere

No, no, o of course you can stay.

No, son. Shh, shh, shh, shh.

No, that's it.

No, we fight! Right?

No, we understand, son.

No, you read the fine print

No!

No! That was just bad clip art.

No! You're gonna destroy my home!

No.

No. Nope.

Non confrontational with guys

Noooo!

Noooooo!

Nooooooo!

Nope. "The Lake House."

Nor I you.

Not another step, Mr. George W. Cowboy.

Not everyone's born brave.

Not having anywhere to sleep tonight.

Not now, Candice, I'm making a chicken smoothie.

Not to blast its quads into the night sky?

Not to rise and grind each morning?

Not, you know, "retired cops and robbers."

Nothin' bad ever happened from fracking.

Nothing I do seems to matter. [ Monotone ] What do you mean?

Nothing! I had absolutely nothing to tell you.

Now are you a Trickle or not?

Now we've got a game!

Now your dong's telling you ow.

Now, Alex made a scale replica of Candice

Of "Survivor" for three days.

Of banned goods, illegal sales,

Of course I want to be the kind of guy

Of course!

Of course.

Of mythological tales of gods and goddesses.

Of Sauceface.

Of these mainstream tentpoles allow their cast and crew

Of your kindness.

Of your medical plan for more information!

Oh my, God, Josh! You're shot!

Oh, "John Wick."

Oh, actually, I was thinking we could all sit on it right now.

Oh, Alex.

Oh, and an iced coffee! Thenks.

Oh, baby.

Oh, cycle sisters. Hot.

Oh, forget the gym.

Oh, geez, how could I choose just one?

Oh, geeze!

Oh, God!

Oh, God.

Oh, gotta unsqueeze the button... [ Static ]

Oh, ha ha ha.

Oh, I love your energy right now, brah.

Oh, I was sad because guys keep ghosting me.

Oh, I'm gonna getcha! I'm gonna getcha!

Oh, I'm selfish?

Oh, I've got all the friends I need right here.

Oh, jeez.

Oh, man, that was so badass!

Oh, man. Look at her.

Oh, man. Oh, man.

Oh, my God! They're smarter than me!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Ew! No!

Oh, my God...

Oh, no one has ever achieved absolute unit

Oh, really?

Oh, shit. I'm the dick.

Oh, snap, you on the rag?

Oh, stop, stop, stop, stop!

Oh, sure, but I get to choose where we go to lunch.

Oh, we called handguns "peckers."

Oh, we got that savings account you wanted...

Oh, we gots to get one of those.

Oh, who would do this to their best friend?

Oh, yeah, here we go.

Oh, yeah, here we go.

Oh, yeahhhh!

Oh, you're naughty, Barb!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh. Effing morning sickness.

Oh...

Oh...

Ohh.

Ohmigod, I can't do it!

Ohmigod, I'm sorry I'm late,

Ok, just to be clear, this is not a relationship.

Okay he's, like, crazy hot but such a dick.

Okay, but skip season six.

Okay, everything about this is working for me.

Okay, fine, I'll tell her to leave.

Okay, look,

Okay, she's got to go.

Okay, so, enough about me.

Okay, that's incredibly lifelike.

Okay, we get it.

Okay.

Okay. Perhaps you'd rather tell...

Okee dokee, let's get that vault open before the killing.

OMG, Emily, don't be so uptight.

Omnis mundus erit eius!

On his own butt.

On it!

On the force. Oh, snap.

On the hood of Josh's car.

On this dark chapter of... what the butt?

Once a cop, always a cop, Randy.

Once a cop, always a cop.

Once you're 100% uploaded,

Only if you start exercising.

Only in America.

Ooh, aha.

Ooh, an iced coffee sounds yum. Theeenks.

Ooh, he's kicking! Here, feel!

Ooh, Jersh, while you're out, I'm having some major cravings.

Ooh!

Ooooh, sorry.

Or Rick. Or... what's his name?

Or Superman and Wonder Woman.

Or to make love to a woman

Or you will never lift your daughter again.

Oui, of course.

Our interest rates are out of this world!

Out of eggs that you have to protect at all times.

Out of our minds on gas fumes.

Out there, I'm a divorced adjunct professor

Overnight. I know.

Ow! No!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh, come on.

Pardon, is everything alright?

Pbht!

Pearle hired professional stunt men!

Pearle was training me to be brave.

Pearle, you have any explosives?

Pearle: Oh, really?

Pearle! Get on over here!

Pearle? [ Both shout ]

Pearle's simulating a terrorist takeover

Penises we called "shotguns,"

Pffft, okay.

Phase two!

Phase two's gonna come at you in the real world

Phase two's gonna come at you in the real world

Phones have ruined society.

Picante!

Play. With. Candice!

Please let me be related to Bruce Willis.

Please put our daughter down.

Please! You're being ridiculous!

Poor?

Power slide!

Prepare for lift off! [ Laughs ]

Pretty well, actually.

Probably Whole Foods.

Raising our boy.

Randy, baby, you ever find

Randy, we are so sorry for not reachin' out.

Randy, you need to be careful.

Randy!

Randy? Woof, woof!

Randy... And not just that they were dead...

Ready?

Really?

Red gold.

Red pepper, salt, garlic, Xanthan gum.

Relax, Ethan, you're not in trouble.

Remember, tomorrow is Cher Day,

Right away, ma'am!

Right, Elga?

Right. Nan Nans are the best.

Run!

Run! Let's get outta here!

Sammy's Hammies... they only do pork...

Sauceface!

Saved by out of this world savings.

Saw you struggling earlier.

Say, "Enough is enough, Becca."

Screw my professor. I mean, how dare she give me a C

See? You're right.

She can hook you up with weed so dank,

She let me talk a little.

She may have dementia,

She offered to be my doula for the home birth.

She plays pretend with me.

She used all my lotions and serums,

She's fine.

She's gonna move back in with him!

She's my oldest friend.

She's not coming back.

She's right here.

She's short on cash, so I'm buying.

She's trying to stop them!

Shoot, at the police academy, we'd have recruits

Shut up for a second!

Shut up, my water's breaking!

Simmer down, Thin Diesel. This backyard stuff

Smokin' hot, am I right?

So bring in a small item

So I called for backup.

So pathetic.

So stupid!

So there's nothing I can do?

So they don't get murdered or locked in a basement?

So you'd rather be in here

So you're tied to this couch forever?

So you've gotta listen to your brain and fight!

So, I came up with an alter ego to take the heat.

So, I said to Luc,

So, I spin at the Burbank Tender Greens every other Tuesday.

So, I'm sorry for how I behaved.

So, it's a whole thing. Okay, buon appetito!

So, that's why I never told you.

So, um...[chuckles] what are you doing later?

So, you want to break things off avec moi?

So, you were able to buy this thing

So... More of a John McLame?

Somebody who's holding a churro.

Someone ratted us out!

Someone wouldn't want you.

Something good will probably ultimately

Sometimes relationships become toxic and one sided,

Soon as we pulled up the other day, I smelled it.

Soon I am being a billionaire.

Soon, Alex, you will be completely uploaded.

Sophomore year, you made me cut my hair

Sorry, Candice.

Sorry, copper, you're too old to catch El Chupacabra!

Sorry, I gotta get to Swoletown.

Sorry, Randy, but we ain't exactly the type

Sorry, son.

Sorry.

Speaking of, this last payment was supposed to have 873 dimes,

Stand back!

Stand up for yourself.

Start exercising

Stay down, civilian!

Stellan and I just broke up and he took the Peloton

Stiff arm! Spin move!

Still doing the ole sip 'n slip?

Stole his identity,

Strong Daddy need gains!

Sure I do, Ma.

Sure thing.

Surprise!

Suuure, Em.

Taco Hell... Keep the car runnin'. Back in a jif.

Take next exit, right.

Take that, Ronald McDonald,

Take the money, buy the drone, make a new best friend.

Tastes like fear!

Ted, it's been three years.

Tell me, did Pearle teach you how to disarm a fake alien?

Teller: Next customer, please.

Than engage with a bon vivant like myself?

Than in the real world with your friends?

Thank God you're all right!

Thank you for agreeing to be our vessel, Randy.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much. I would love an iced coffee.

Thank you, strong sir.

Thank you. Oh.

Thanks for not freaking out when I broke up with you!

Thanks for the ride, Mom and Dad.

Thanks, daughter Candice.

That bank was just robbed.

That bitch has got to go.

That boy sucks just like his daddy

That is tasting like smokey barbecue?

That is why you will be opening your vault

That makes you believe in life after love.

That puts gas into stuff.

That sinkhole ain't playin'!

That these guys abandoned me multiple times as a child

That they were astronauts

That was before the children gave me,

That was our code name.

That will take me only a moment.

That would otherwise never be made.

That you busted the wrong Sauceface.

That you have to do the wrong thing

That'd be amazing! Alright then.

That'll be all, Tiny Butler.

That's a very nice Ring Pop you're wearing.

That's G God's favorite sandwich!

That's it!

That's my guy.

That's my husband.

That's my purse.

That's okay.

That's okay.

That's okay. We've got a protocol

That's probably a coincidence.

That's probably unrelated, right?

That's right.

That's so many eggs.

That's why I keep it old school.

That's why I'm currently uploading your consciousness

The Barbecue Cumber!

The Barbecue Cumber.

The Barbecue Cumber.

The best "King Kong" ever.

The healing properties of a comfy street couch.

The important thing is you're here now,

The last guy who attempted the impossible WOD

The legend...

The old senior buffet is just down the road,

The rest.

The richest score of them all

The school is selling those packets now.

The way we were going, we had enough for a fleet of drones.

The WiFi is down, and so is Randy.

The Y M freaking C A.

Theeenks.

Their crap insurance plan

Them swings're suckin' out natural gas as we speak.

Then cut.

Then multiply it... by two.

Then why do we live in a mansion with Alex and Bridgette?

Then, one night, I came along.

There are more dimes to be made.

There's Cupcake Factory, Cupcake Factory Outlet,

These are mostly serious charges.

These guys are all a part of it.

These guys are real bad guys.

They can't get you if they can't see you.

They can't get you if they can't see you.

They don't steal gas anymore!

They frack it.

They left you behind so they could make off

They say it's not just for old people.

They slurped gas out of tanks

They touch their butts together and a baby...

They're free to challenge me.

They're not gonna make it in time!

This is a haunting.

This is it for me.

This is nuts! I know.

This is real!

This is the best. Isn't it nice

This is why USB is dying out.

This is, how you say, outrage!

This tastes like I banged my head on a pole.

This thing is built like a tank.

Those bastards!

Those drones make hopscotch look like foursquare.

Through pain like this.

Through the medium of painting.

Thus proving she's guilty of possession

To be giving us the genetic sequence.

To ghost... me?

To lay back and sip hillbilly Mai Tais.

To mend a broken heart.

To punch you in the face.

To spend some time outdoors with your closest friends?

To take artistic risks on independent projects

To tell you the truth about your parents.

To the cyber matrix.

To the swoletown system of WODs...

To try to keep them in your life.

To understand how we got here,

To ze fake phone call!

Today was perfect.

Tomorrow in that room where I eat all the paint.

Tony: And four and one and two

Touch me and you're dead!

Train me to be brave when my family's in danger?

Tramp, Slump, Turd.

Trust me, one day you'll find your perfect match.

Turn left up here!

Ugh, sorry, my ex Tucker won't stop calling.

Ugh, the new guy I'm dating?

Ugh, what ever happened to human connection?!

Ugh.

Ugh. So?

Uh huh.

Uh huh. [ Sighs deeply ]

Uh, Dad?

Uh, honk, honk! Babe! Car! Let's go!

Uh, I need to go in here.

Uh, since we live together.

Uh, this is pretty freaky,

Uh, yeah. I guess so.

Uh...

Ultimate rush!

Um, I'm... I'm Bridgette. Uh...

Um... You're welcome.

Umm...

Unh, get it, get it, yeah.

Until I complete my unfinished business,

Until next time!

Until you tell me why you are so upset with me.

Up 13% year after year.

Venerates its heroes,

Wait a second! Five minutes ago, you were gonna expel my daughter!

Wait, Pearle, could you do that for me?

Wait, so we're...

Wait, That's not the sound of people enjoying sparkling wine. [ People screaming ]

Wait, they all have calculators?

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wanna hang with us?

Was I feeling passion I've never felt before?

Was just phase one of the training.

We agreed... no more garbage furniture!

We also have super low interest rates on our divorce loans.

We can't thank you enough for doing such a terrific job

We didn't deserve to be your parents.

We don't deserve her trust.

We don't know what all that muscle could do to your mind.

We got our results back

We got to slow down Kira.

We had to have it.

We had to keep it a surprise.

We have fun.

We just made this chicken smoothie together.

We just... Ah, we thought it was best you move on.

We knew the risks of this life.

We know how hard it's been with Stellan gone.

We move forward with the sit down.

We need an intervention to get him off that phone.

We need that money for Coach Gary's settlement.

We need to deposit our Social Security checks.

We need to lie low. Please.

We saw this really old movie at school today

We set this whole thing up so we could do

We want to stay in Randy's life,

We... We're just headed to lunch, officer.

We'd do it at our place,

We'll get her when she comes back in.

We're frackers! We suck gas from the land.

We're gonna have so much fun together.

We're insured for this sort of thing.

We're meeting at 7:00. On her side of town.

We're not just blastin' bodies, we're blastin' lives.

We're not robbing.

We're running every possible app,

We're taking what we deserve

We've got something cooking.

Weights are my angels, and gains are my God.

Welcome to the cyber matrix.

Well, despite what you think,

Well, Goddamn.

Well, he must be the king of the pharmacists

Well, hello, Alex.

Well, I hope you realize

Well, I wasn't born yesterday.

Well, I'm glad you found someone.

Well, if we have to run,

Well, internship.

Well, Mr. Singleton, no wonder you threw your back out

Well, my people came from Guadalajara...

Well, tell me, Mr. Insurance Man,

Well, that doesn't seem scientific!

Well, that is never going to happen.

Well, there is one final workout I need to do.

Well, these don't look so...

Well, this can't be right.

Well, we were bad people.

Well, well, well...

Well, you will never have to again.

Were attacked by Martians

Were thieves.

Wet Willy?

What a beautiful morning

What are we gonna do?

What are you doing?

What are you, some kind of environmental activists?

What daughter?

What do I do?

What do we do?!

What do you do now?

What do you expect us to do,

What good is a digital utopia

What happened?! We just made a little withdrawal.

What I'm trying to sex is... shit, hold on.

What if me no able pick you up?

What is this "ghosting?"

What simulation?! You know, this.

What the eff are you doing here?

What the?! Aah!

What they'd be willing to do to get away.

What we do here isn't just exercise, Josh.

What would you know about burping anything?

What?

What? [ Scoffs ] Fine.

What? I don't understand.

What? I had breakup sex with Luc,

What? It's my favorite movie.

What? No! He can't.

What?! I thought we were just chuckin' stuff into the ocean.

What?! McRibs?!

What... What are y...

What're you two up to these days?

What's h happening?

What's happening?

What's this?

What's up with you, girl?

What's up? What are we doing?

Whatever that may be.

When I just want them to be over.

When I was among ze living, I was a cad, a cheat.

When I'm done with you,

When mommies and daddies love each other,

When we got out of prison, we straightened up.

When you least expect it.

When you least expect it.

When you're with the Trickles,

Where girls are traditionally underrepresented.

Where they and their trusty chimpanzee, Derek,

Where we max out greatness...

Where you from?

Where's Luc?

Where's... There's... There's no blood.

Whew

Which could literally kill you.

Which is also what it's called.

Which is exactly $5,000.

Which is?

Which one of you is skimming off the top?

Which way is the old senior buffet?

Who do you work for?

Who is this Green Day American idiot?!

Who is this?

Who went on a top secret mission to Mars!

Who'll protect his family if shit goes down.

Who's this chick? She on the rag, too?

Whoa, is that how many grams are in a metric ton?

Whoa, unh uh, you summoned me.

Whoa!

Whoa! [ Sobbing ] [ Springs slam ]

Whoa! Now we're talking!

Whoa! What the f...

Whoa.

Whoa. Becca.

Whoa. Bold stance.

Whoa. Dope. That's hilarious.

Whoa...

Whoo! I got lightning in my brain!

Whoooaaa...

Why am I bringing up the rear?

Why did I announce I was here before I found the key?

Why don't we throw a big party, right here?

Why don't you come over here and lunge into me, Tony!

Why don't you just cancel? I can't.

Why is it so hard to find a guy who won't leave?

Why is my life so hard all the time?

Why not give the water aerobics a try?

Why should a genius like you settle for real life?

Why would I want a guy...

Why, Jade,

Why?

Will I ever be able to pick her up again?

Will now include General Tso's chicken,

With 15 gallons of premium unleaded.

With age comes wisdom.

With non gendered toys!

With paper cuts on his dong.

Won't cover the hip surgery I need.

Words fail me, bro!

Worth it, bro.

Would you like to hear a song?

Would you tell the moon

Wouldn't you like to know?

Wow, ha, guess you, uh, would expect high production values

Wow!

Wow. It's Luc.

Wow. What's that?

Wyatt was "the cheeks,"

XO Becca."

Y'all are bank robbers?!

Y'all coming from the Sixth Ninth Bank?

Yay!

Yay!

Yeaaah, it was... great. [ Chuckles ]

Yeah, gross. I'm not really into chocolate.

Yeah, he sucks.

Yeah, I already told you that I...

Yeah, I guess!

Yeah, I'll go to lunch with you.

Yeah, it's fine. Great.

Yeah, kids really love hot sauce.

Yeah, Luc and I are off to the bowels of Hell.

Yeah, no, it's... it's good that you're normal again.

Yeah, right, Mom.

Yeah, samesies for Mayflower Charter.

Yeah, this guy's the worst.

Yeah, you're married to a monster.

Yeah!

Yeah! Coin purses are for kids.

Yeah. Get it, get it.

Yeah. They have access to the whole Internet.

Yeah. Yeah, my Nan Nan's... Gotcha. My Nan Nan loves me so much.

Yeah...

Yes, I do have time for a survey.

Yes! But robbing banks?

Yes! Excuse us, ladies.

Yes. "But..."?

Yes. Inner peace.

Yo, Becca, get up, I'm hungry.

You all know me, what I do.

You all look like you're going to ghost me, too.

You are a really, really great ghost.

You are tearing me apart!

You belong here, with me.

You bet! Uhp! [ Watch beeping ]

You borrowed all my clothes and never gave them back!

You bought her a leaf blower?!

You came to my wedding.

You care more about your stupid gains than me.

You did it.

You don't care about me.

You don't have a room!

You don't like him because he's French.

You don't want to confess to me?

You ever get tired of playin' with the pups

You excited to open your very first savings account?

You getting so big.

You got the cheeks and the nose.

You got the cheeks, too!

You got... very pregnant.

You guys get in a lot of firefights?

You guys go on without me.

You have literally zero core strength.

You have to complete the impossible WOD,

You haven't played with her all week.

You hush up, Randy!

You jacked us off.

You kicked me out, so now I live in the trash.

You knew the word was "assumed."

You know how women are conditioned to be

You know what might help? [ Laughs nervously ]

You know what we didn't expect?

You know what? All men are trash.

You know, you wouldn't get paper cuts on little Alex

You ladies have a good lunch now.

You let her go?!

You make it sound like a cult. Thanks!

You mean "Project Sauceface"?

You must be a Trickle.

You never li...

You not only saved me, you may have saved all of humanity.

You obviously can't be.

You okay, Ma?

You set us up! No!

You should check it out.

You should listen better.

You stop when you're done.

You take no interest in my career,

You think I want to be here?

You think you can outsmart me, you meatsacks?

You told me they were dead!

You wanna be John McClane. Exactly.

You want it, don't you, Ethan?

You want the Barbecue Cumber?

You will be disconnected from your physical body forever.

You will get the massive gains you deserve.

You wish I could, uh, ghost you?

You withholdin' sack of dog shit.

You'd rather worship your glowing bricks

You'll be able to kill your daughter.

You'll find one someday.

You'll have to kill me for it!

You'll love our new global measurement convertor.

You're a monster, Mommy!

You're fracking under my house?

You're gonna need these.

You're not getting on a house team.

You're out of here!

You're railing lines on Christmas Eve?"

You're Sauceface?

You're such a freakin'...

You're the best... Yay...

You're the king.

You're the one who always says she should be playing

You're the reason I got so good at kegels, brah!

You're the wind beneath my traps, brah.

You're too nice.

You're under arrest.

You've got to take out the nearest cell tower!

You've gotta know the legend.

You've only got 10 minutes.

Your coward gut is gonna tell you to run,

Your cut.

Your dong's telling you "owww!"

Your environment is your weapon!

Your environment is your weapon.

Your new boyfriend seems awesome.

Your parents, Wyatt and Deborah Trickle,

Your worst nightmare.

Yuck. Take me to Wetzel's

Zings get le tough and you le run away

10 reps of every exercise at one 100% of your max.

87, 22, you know, stuff like that.

99.

100!

[ Growls ] [ Screams ]

Excuse me, Candice. I've heard worse.

Nailed it. Haha, points!

We got a street couch! Oh, hell no!

...able to sniff out a full tank from 30 yards away.

...and buy that boy of yours a shirt.

...and it's greatest bachelor.

...doing cocaine in the bathroom,

...know that he had sex with my sister

'cause I am a changed man, Em.

'cause once he peed himself two times in the same day.

'Cause you guys are rich.

'til the cafeteria conduct liaison got wise.

"Hey, Luc.

"Hey, what you doing over there? That's my car!"

"I. Am. Sparta!"

"Luc" as in "Lucifer"?

"My name is Mr. Salt,"

"Uh, those nudes aren't mine,"

"Who was your best friend in grade school?"

"workouts of the day"...

[ ♪ So slowly ] Did she move the couch in there?

[ All cheering ]

[ All gasp ]

[ All gasp ]

[ All gasp ]

[ All gasp ]

[ All grunting ]

[ All sobbing ]

[ Baby crying ]

[ Baby laughing ] Blue 42! Hut hut! Hike!

[ Barking ]

[ Bird screeches ]

[ Blender whirring ]

[ Blipping continues ]

[ Blipping continues ]

[ Bones crack ]

[ Bones crack ] [ Grunts ]

[ Bones rattle ]

[ Both grunt ]

[ Both howling ]

[ Both laugh ]

[ Both laughing ]

[ Both laughing ]

[ Both moaning ] Ooh.

[ Brakes squeal ]

[ Breaks squeaking ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Bridgette wailing loudly ] Ohhh, noooo!

[ Button clicks ] Daddy! Help me!

[ Cackling ]

[ Camera shutter clicking ]

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

[ Camera shutters click ]

[ Car alarm blaring ]

[ Cellphone blips ] [ Door opens ]

[ Cellphone chimes ]

[ Cellphone chimes ]

[ Cellphone chiming ]

[ Cellphone clicking ] Bridgette...

[ Cellphone dings ]

[ Cellphone keyboard clacking ]

[ Cellphone ringing ] Ooh, sorry. I'm getting a call.

[ Cellphone ringing, buzzing ]

[ Cellphone ringing, buzzing ]

[ Cellphone rings ]

[ Cellphones blipping ]

[ Cellphones chiming, keyboards clacking ]

[ Cellphones clicking ]

[ Chatter ]

[ Cheers and applause ] Thanks, guys. But I need more.

[ Children laughing ]

[ Children shouting ]

[ Choir vocalizing ]

[ Chomps ] Yeah, real awesome, Josh.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckles ] No, but, uh, I, um,

[ Chuckles ] Ooh, ahh, ooh!

[ Chuckles ] So good.

[ Chuckles ] To save my family.

[ Chuckles ] We will be selling to highest bidder.

[ Chuckles ] What's your friend's deal? She single?

[ Chuckling ]

[ Chuckling ]

[ Chuckling ] Oh, man. He's gonna shit!

[ Chuckling ] Oh, man. This is gonna be so sweet.

[ Clattering ]

[ Clears throat ] Josh, we need to talk.

[ Clears throat ] Well, I guess this is it.

[ Couch scraping ] ...I have a beautiful surprise

[ Coughs ]

[ Coughs ]

[ Coughs ] Ew, gross. [ Murmuring in sleep ]

[ Crickets chirping ]

[ Cries ] Why have you grown so cold?

[ Crowd cheers ]

[ Crowd exclaiming ]

[ Crowd gasps ]

[ Crowd gasps ]

[ Crowd screaming ]

[ Distorted grunting ]

[ Distorted laughter ]

[ Dog barking ]

[ Dog growling, barking ]

[ Dolphin chattering ]

[ Dolphin chatters ]

[ Door closes ]

[ Door opens ] ♪ My love ♪

[ Door slams ]

[ Doorbell rings ]

[ Doorbell rings ] Becca: [ Gasps ] That's for me!

[ Drones whirring, tires screech ]

[ Dubstep music playing ]

[ Eggs squishing ]

[ Electric guitar "Jingle Bells" plays ]

[ Electricity crackles ]

[ Electricity crackles ]

[ Electricity crackling ]

[ Electricity crackling ]

[ Electronic humming ]

[ Engine revs ]

[ Exhales deeply ]

[ Exhales heavily ]

[ Exhales sharply ] Fine.

[ Explosion ]

[ Gagging ]

[ Gasping ] Come on!

[ Gasps ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Gasps ] Her cellphone.

[ Gasps ] Huh?

[ Gasps ] No!

[ Gasps ] That's five meals, four smoothies, and two workouts!

[ Gasps ] The art room!

[ Gasps deeply ]

[ Gasps, sniffs ]

[ German accent ] Hey! Where you think you're going?

[ Giggles ] Yes!

[ Glasses shatter ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Groaning, vomiting ]

[ Groans ]

[ Groans ]

[ Groans ]

[ Groans ]

[ Groans ]

[ Groans ]

[ Groans ]

[ Groans ]

[ Groans ]

[ Groans ]

[ Groans ]

[ Groans ]

[ Groans ] Ha!

[ Groans loudly ] Not now, Beyoncé!

[ Growling ] Whoa, you're really going for it.

[ Growls ]

[ Growls ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting ] [ Humming sleepily ]

[ Grunting ] Hoo, ha! Hyah! Ha!

[ Grunting loudly ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ] [ Shouts ]

[ Grunts ] You're right.

[ Gun cocks ] Hands up!

[ Guns cock ]

[ Gunshot, glass shattering ]

[ Harpsichord continues ]

[ Helicopter blades whirring ]

[ Horn honks ]

[ Hose clanking ]

[ Humming ]

[ Indistinct arguing ]

[ Inhales sharply ]

[ Inhales sharply ]

[ Inhales sharply ] Ooh, I'm so sorry

[ Josh and Alex laugh ]

[ Josh grunting ]

[ Keyboard clacking ]

[ Knock on door ] Come in.

[ Laughing ]

[ Laughing ]

[ Laughing ]

[ Laughing ] Ha ha!

[ Laughing ] I love you, Dad!

[ Laughing maniacally ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughs ] [ Watch beeping ]

[ Laughs ] A Trickle.

[ Laughs ] Oh, okay, I see how that sounds.

[ Laughs ] Oh!

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughter continues ]

[ Metal shinks ] [ Screaming ]

[ Metal shinks ] [ Screaming ]

[ Moaning ]

[ Moaning ] Ohh. Oh! Oh!

[ Moaning chuckle ] Oh! [ Giggles ]

[ Packets splat ]

[ Panting ]

[ Panting ]

[ Panting ]

[ Police sirens wail, guns cock ]

[ Popcorn popping ]

[ Pops ] [ Screams ] Gun!

[ Punching ]

[ Randy shouting rhythmically ] ♪ And time ♪

[ Record scratches ]

[ Riders screaming ] [ Camera shutter clicks ]

[ Roaring ] [ Screaming continues ]

[ Roars ]

[ Rock music plays ]

[ Rock music plays ]

[ Rumbling ]

[ Saxophone continues ]

[ Saxophone playing ]

[ School bell rings ]

[ Scoffs ] You know what they say...

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming ] Oh! Oh, nooo!

[ Screaming ] Oww! Yes!

[ Screams ]

[ Screams ]

[ Screams ]

[ Screams ]

[ Scythe shinks ]

[ Shouting ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ] I know, sweetie.

[ Sighs ] I understand. You do?

[ Sighs ] It's like warm marble.

[ Sighs heavily ]

[ Siren wailing ]

[ Sirens wail ]

[ Sirens wail ]

[ Sirens wail, tires screech ]

[ Sirens wailing ]

[ Sizzling ] And it was Karl's first day on job.

[ Sleigh bells ringing ]

[ Slo mo ] Nooo!

[ Slo mo laughter ]

[ Slo mo laughter continues ]

[ Slo mo panting ]

[ Slo mo panting continues ]

[ Slurping ]

[ Slurping ]

[ Slurping, groaning ]

[ Smooches ]

[ Smooches ] Better.

[ Snapping ]

[ Snaps fingers ]

[ Sniffing ]

[ Sniffs ]

[ Sniffs ] Huh?

[ Sniffs deeply ]

[ Snoring ]

[ Sobbing ]

[ Sobbing ] ♪ Can do so much ♪

[ Sobbing ] No! Oh, God...

[ Squashes ]

[ Squishes ] No! I wanted no part of this.

[ Startup tone plays ]

[ Stopwatch beeps ] Go!

[ Straining ]

[ Straining ]

[ Straining ]

[ T Rex roars ]

[ Tattoo gun buzzing ]

[ Text message chimes ]

[ Text messages chiming rapidly ]

[ The Rolling Stones' "Can't You Hear Me Knocking" plays ]

[ Thuds ] We've already begun.

[ Thunder crashes ]

[ Thunder crashes ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Tires screech ] [ Screaming ]

[ Tires screech ] [ Sniffs ]

[ Tires screech, siren wails ]

[ Tires screech, sirens wail ]

[ Ughs ] Whatever. Like I don't have three more.

[ Vault chiming, beeping ]

[ Voice breaking ] This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.

[ Wailing loudly ]

[ Watch beeping ]

[ Watch beeping ] Damn.

[ Water slamming ]

[ Whining ] But I want it.

[ Whirring ]

[ Whirring ]

[ Whirring ]

[ Whirring, laughter ]

[ Whispering ] Psst, I bought a toothbrush to leave at your place

[ Whispering ] Shh! You're being a dick!

[ Whistles ]

[ Whistles ]

[ Whooshing ]

[ Woman ohh's ]

[ Yawns ] Good morning.

[ Yelling in slow motion ]

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♪ ...plastic boots ♪

♪ A long ♪

♪ Access all man's knowledge and really specific porn? ♪

♪ Ain't no stranger ♪

♪ And time ♪ Do... not... go in there!

♪ Are you ♪

♪ Baby, that's what Kira's for ♪

♪ Baby, that's what Kira's for ♪

♪ Can't you hear my knockin'? ♪

♪ Come on now ♪

♪ Come on now ♪

♪ Come on now ♪

♪ Deck the halls with Q4 profits ♪

♪ Follow what you like and you can tune out all the rest ♪

♪ Give in to Kira now, give your data up to me ♪

♪ Goes by ♪ [ Shouting continues ]

♪ I ain't the sharpest tool [Distorted] in the shed ♪

♪ Kira's got your vice, honey, your itch, your rope ♪

♪ Lonely time ♪

♪ OkCupid, Tinder, Grindr ♪

♪ She was looking kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb ♪

♪ Somebody once told me ♪

♪ Step inside the filter bubble ♪

♪ Up to me e e e e e e e ♪

♪ W W World is gonna roll me ♪

♪ Want some hummus at 10:15 delivered to your door ♪

♪ Whatever floats your boat ♪

♪ Where your take is the best ♪

♪ Whoa... ♪

♪ Y'all got cocaine eyes ♪

♪ Yeah, you got satin shoes ♪

♪ Your touch ♪

♪ Help me, baby ♪